Week 2 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2025 Edition

Quarterback

Biggest Winner: Jared Goff (Lions)

The Lions got their revenge on Ben Johnson for leaving to coach the Bears in a big way and Jared Goff was at the forefront of their massive triumph by throwing for a whopping 334 YDS and 5 TD's. This performance should ease the minds of Goff owners who were worried that he wouldn't be able to pop off in the same way without Johnson at the helm of the offense, although he could have a tough time reaching QB1 levels against the Ravens in Week 3.  

Honorable Mentions: Drake Maye (Patriots), Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Dak Prescott (Cowboys)

Biggest Loser: Josh Allen (Bills)

After ripping off a 40-YD rush on the opening drive, it looked like Allen was going to be in store for another big day against the Jets. That never came to fruition as James Cook, Matt Prater and the defense did most of the work in an easy win for the Bills, leaving Allen with a very unsexy statline (148 passing YDS, 59 Rushing YDS, 0 TD's). He'll a great chance to return to dominant form against a Dolphins defense that has looked utterly hopeless for roughly 6 of the first 8 quarters of the season on Thursday night.

Dishonorable Mentions: Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Kyler Murray (Cardinals), Justin Fields (Jets)

Running Back

Biggest Winner: Jonathan Taylor (Colts)

Think Daniel Jones is the only reason the Colts are off to a hot start? THINK AGAIN! Taylor had another huge day against the Broncos, erupting for 215 scrimmage YDS (165 rushing, 50 receiving) on 27 touches and picking up a receiving TD in a huge upset win that brings the Colts to 2-0 on the year. A divisional clash with the Titans awaits the Colts undisputed RB1 this Sunday afternoon. 

Honorable Mentions: James Cook (Bills), De'Von Achane (Dolphins), Javonte Williams (Cowboys)

Biggest Loser: Derrick Henry (Ravens)

Well, I guess Grant Delpit was right: Henry wasn't that difficult to bring down on Sunday in Baltimore. The star RB was a complete non-factor in the Ravens blowout win over the Browns-logging a measly 23 YDS on 11 carries. No need to panic just yet as Henry is good for the occasional stinker-especially early on in the season, but it's definitely a bit jarring to see him struggle to this degree against a defense that doesn't appear to be elite at this juncture.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Ashton Jeanty (Raiders), Omarion Hampton (Chargers), Breece Hall (Jets)

Wide Receiver 

Biggest Winner: Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions)

St. Brown served as the primary focus of the Lions aerial onslaught against the Bears, logging 115 YDS and 3 TD's on 9 receptions. He further padded his statline with a pair of carries for 7 YDS. The Sun God will hope to eat again versus the Ravens next Monday night. 

Honorable Mentions: Malik Nabers (Giants), Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals), Rome Odunze (Bears)

Biggest Loser: Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

Despite Bo Nix playing considerably better than he did in Week 1 against the Colts on Sunday, Sutton wasn't involved in the fun at all as he nabbed just 1 catch for 6 YDS while Troy Franklin (?!) served as the focal point of the passing attack. The good news is that Sutton did get the second most targets on the team (4) and the slight-framed Franklin isn't likely to be a real threat to his monopoly on the redzone targets, which should leave him on the WR2/WR3 bubble for their Week 3 clash with the Chargers.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Marvin Harrison Jr. (Cardinals), Drake London (Falcons), A.J. Brown (Eagles)

Tight End

Biggest Winner: Tucker Kraft (Packers)

Kraft went from a bit player in the Packers passing attack in Week 1 to star of the show last Thursday against the Commanders, reeling in 6 catches for 124 YDS and a score. With Jayden Reed expected to be out until at least early November with a broken collarbone, Kraft should continue to get a heightened target share and be a high-end TE1 play most weeks. 

Honorable Mentions: Zach Ertz (Commanders), Juwan Johnson (Saints), Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

Biggest Loser: Mark Andrews (Ravens)

It's officially time to panic about Andrews' usage in the Ravens offense. The longtime star tight end got a measly 2 touches on Sunday against the Browns (1 reception, 1 carry) that he turned into just 4 YDS as Lamar Jackson continued to pepper Zay Flowers with targets and even got 2nd year guy Devontez Walker involved on a pair of TD passes. Week 3 versus the Lions is shaping up to an early do-or-die game for Andrews' viability as a fantasy TE1 moving forward.  

Dishonorable Mentions: T.J. Hockenson (Vikings), Evan Engram (Broncos), Hunter Henry (Patriots)

Defense/Special Teams

Biggest Winner: Ravens

Zach Orr's group got back on track in a big way after the epic dismantling they suffered at the hands of the Bills last week by taking it to the Browns on Sunday. They straight up stuffed the sheet in the 41-17 win, picking up 2 sacks, an INT, blocked punt and a fumble recovery by Roquan Smith that turned into a long score. They could be shifting back to the other side of this column in Week 3 against a Lions offense that is capable of putting up points in droves on anybody.  

Honorable Mentions: Cardinals, Chargers, Bills

Biggest Loser: Broncos

This was not the kind of performance you'd except to see from the projected #1 D/ST coming into 2025. The Broncos had no answers for the Colts offense on Sunday, logging 1 sack and 0 takeaways in a 29-28 loss. They could have a tough time bouncing back in Week 3 when they travel out to LA to face the Chargers-whose (passing) offense is off to a great start this year. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Chiefs, 49ers, Vikings

Movie Review: The Long Walk

Hollywood has been trying to crack a film adaptation of Stephen King's 1979 novel The Long Walk-which was published under his pseudonym Richard Bachman-for decades now. There have been at least 3 different iterations of the beloved dystopian survival thriller being developed for the big screen that never came to fruition from 1988 to 2019 including one that was supposed to be helmed by the late horror legend George Romero. 37 years after the first effort to get it made, a movie version of The Long Walk has finally materialized thanks to Hunger Games director Francis Lawrence and Strange Darling writer/director JT Mollner. No disrespect to any of the parties that were involved with the aborted adaptations, but the circumstances that allowed the excellent Lawrence/Mollner version to come out at this moment in time are so ideal that some people of a certain spiritual background would argue that fate was responsible for the previous versions falling apart. 

For those unfamiliar with the story, The Long Walk is set in an alternate version of 1970's America where the country has fallen into economic ruin following an unnamed war 20+ years earlier, and a totalitarian military dictatorship led by "The Major" (Mark Hamill) has replaced democracy. To "inspire" America to "get back to work" during these challenging times, the state hosts an annual competition called "The Long Walk"-in which 1 man from each of the 50 states are chosen via a voluntary lottery system to partake in a grueling long-distance walk. The rules for The Long Walk are simple: 1.Each competitor must maintain a speed of 3 miles per hour for the duration of the walk. If they fall below 3 miles per hour, they'll receive 3 warnings to get their speed back up to 3 miles per hour (a warning is erased if the competitor maintains their speed for an hour straight). If they fail to do so, they're executed on the spot by the military convoy that's driving slowly alongside them. 2.If the competitor leaves the road, attacks the convoy, etc., they're executed on the spot. 3.There's no finish line or stopping to sleep, use the restroom, eat or drink (rations of food and water are provided at the beginning of the walk) etc. once the walk begins and the walk concludes when there's only 1 man left standing. The trade-off for these men risking their lives to participate in a contest that is designed to slowly break down the minds and bodies of its participants is the alluring prize: An undisclosed large sum of cash and the granting of any wish they could possibly conceive. At the start of the film, we're introduced to some of the competitors including Ray Garraty (Cooper Hoffman), Peter McVries (David Jonsson), Gary Barktovich (Charlie Plummer), Billy Stebbins (Garrett Wareing), Arthur Baker (Tut Nyuot) and Hank Olson (Ben Wang) mere minutes before The Long Walk begins. What transpires after the starting gun starts off is the best and worst of what humanity has to offer and will provide the survivor with memories they'll never be shake for the rest of their days.

Particularly over the last 10-15 years or so, there's been no shortage of movies portraying dystopian hellscape societies where fascist governments make desperate citizens endure tremendous suffering for their own amusement instead of simply providing them with the life of dignity they deserve. What separates The Long Walk from many films of its ilk is with how it elects to portray its world. There's a brutality and cruelty on display here (I'll spare the specifics to preserve the shock value, so let's just say the R-rating is well-earned) that provides an uncompromisingly harrowing backdrop that makes the evil on display feel particularly gut-wrenching and urgent. At the same time, there are these little glimmers of hope that sneak in from time to time to remind the audience that not even the direst circumstances can fully crush the beautiful parts of the human spirit that allow us to show empathy and make meaningful connections with each other. Pulling off a nuanced balancing act that doesn't sugarcoat the boundless evil of a society that brings such horrible violence upon its own citizens but also never fully gives into the bleakness of its world is an incredible feat that conveys the importance of holding out hope even when all seems lost.      

Adding to The Long Walk's effective take on this well-worn subgenre is the strength of the character work-particularly in its showing of the special bond that builds between Ray and Peter over the many, many miles they spend walking alongside each other. Mollner's script does an incredible job of always centering humanity in this bleak world of despair. Of course, There's selfishness, anger, guilt and just about every other ugly emotion that tends to come rushing out when someone is put in a high leverage, high stress scenario where they're fighting for their life. But there's also a tremendous amount of compassion, love and respect that builds between these men as they share the struggles that led them to signing up for The Long Walk and it's the weight of the relationships that form that makes many of the deaths here so fucking devastating. There are quite a few scenes that are just brutal to endure because it's so apparent that these characters are trying their best to keep each other alive but are ultimately rendered powerless to the harsh reality of the circumstances their reality has provided them with. People on the lower rungs of humanity's socioeconomic ladder doing anything they can to try and save the lives of another person going through a similar struggle but ultimately not being able to help them through no fault of their own and being forced to solider on amongst the near relentless devastation is one hell of an effective metaphor for the life that many of us on Earth are living that The Long Walk conveys with blunt force and the tremendous heart present in the performances of these men that were tasked were bringing these doomed souls to life is a huge reason for achieving that power.

I was so alternately shaken and moved by The Long Walk that I was ready to declare it a top 3 movie of 2025... until the last 5 minutes happened. The ending makes total sense from an impulsive human behavior standpoint and is tonally consistent with the rest of the film, I guess I was just hoping for a bigger emotional crescendo based on everything that transpired before those final moments. Slight late game stumbles aside, The Long Walk remains a true triumph of raw, human-driven storytelling that will definitely rank highly on my year-end list.                                     

Grade: A-

Francis Lawrence Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Francis Lawrence-whose latest project "The Long Walk" releases in theaters tonight. 

Francis Lawrence's Filmography Ranked:

9.Slumberland (C)

8.Water for Elephants (C)

7.The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part 1 (B)

6.The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part 2 (B)

5.Constantine (B)

4.I Am Legend (B)

3.The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (B)

2.Red Sparrow (B+)

1.The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (A)

Top Dog: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

As solid as the Hunger Games franchise has been on the whole, Catching Fire is the clear peak that is going to remain very difficult for any future films to meet or exceed. Nothing about the themes or the narrative is drastically different from the other four installments, it just has a heightened level of adrenaline, swagger and intensity flowing through its veins that makes it unbelievably gripping from start to finish.    

Bottom Feeder: Slumberland (2022)

Jason Momoa-led Netflix library causality Slumberland is a well-intentioned but instantly forgettable family adventure that offers up very little of the whimsical fun or big emotional moments that it's aiming to deliver. 

Most Underrated: Red Sparrow (2018)

I get why people don't really fuck with Red Sparrow. The Russian accents are really cartoony, the pacing is slow, and the content of the story is often very unsavory. What I found so appealing about it is that marks one of the rare cases of a movie treating the world of espionage as the cold, ruthless and sleazy work that it is. Power dynamics are always shifting, horrific acts are committed in the name of "freedom" or "patriotism" and the only loyalty that can be found is to oneself. Movies that tread into such muddy waters without any fear are a luxury these days and it's particularly surprising a major studio (20th Century pre-Disney merger) was willing to back something that takes such an uncommercial approach to a genre that tends to be very accessible and action driven.           

Most Overrated: None

Lawrence's legacy as a director so is being a steady craftsman who rarely hits home runs but never strikes out entirely. That's the kind of profile that makes you a good bet to avoid having any overrated movies on your resume and since I like The Hunger Games movies and I Am Legend just fine, he was able to pull it off. 

2025 NFL Power Rankings: Week 2

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

2.(3) Buffalo Bills (1-0) Week 2 opponent: New York Jets

3.(8) Green Bay Packers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Washington Commanders

4.(2) Kansas City Chiefs (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

5.(6) Washington Commanders (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Green Bay Packers

6.(4) Baltimore Ravens (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Cleveland Browns

7.(7) Los Angeles Rams (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Tennessee Titans

8.(11) Los Angeles Chargers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

9.(9) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Houston Texans

10.(5) Detroit Lions (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Chicago Bears

11.(12) Cincinnati Bengals (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

12.(13) Denver Broncos (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

13.(14) Minnesota Vikings (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

14.(15) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

15.(16) San Francisco 49ers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: New Orleans Saints 

16.(17) Arizona Cardinals (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Carolina Panthers

17.(10) Houston Texans (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

18.(18) Atlanta Falcons (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

19.(19) Seattle Seahawks (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

20.(25) Indianapolis Colts (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Denver Broncos

21.(24) Las Vegas Raiders (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

22.(20) Chicago Bears (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Detroit Lions

23.(21) Dallas Cowboys (0-1) Week 2 opponent: New York Giants

24.(27) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

25.(23) New York Jets (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Buffalo Bills

26.(28) New England Patriots (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Miami Dolphins

27.(30) Tennessee Titans (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

28.(31) Cleveland Browns (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

29.(29) New York Giants (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

30.(26) Carolina Panthers (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

31.(22) Miami Dolphins (0-1) Week 2 opponent: New England Patriots

32.(32) New Orleans Saints (0-1) Week 2 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

Week 1 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2025 Edition

Quarterback

Biggest Winner: Josh Allen (Bills)

It was a magnificent evening for both QB's in the epic Bills/Ravens showdown on Sunday night, but it was the reigning MVP that ended up with the better performance (394 YDS/2 TD's through the air, 30 YDS/2 TD's on the ground) and the (unlikely) win. Allen could very well end up in this spot again in Week 2 as he's going up against a Jets group that just got carved up by AARP Aaron Rodgers.  

Honorable Mentions: Justin Fields (Jets), Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Justin Herbert (Chargers)

Biggest Loser: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Despite miraculously pulling out the win over the Browns, the Week 1 Bengals were in full effect once again as Burrow limped through what is a strong contender for the most nondescript performance of his career so far (113 YDS, TD, 3 Rushing YDS). Week 2 has famously also not been kind to Burrow historically, so don't bank on him taking advantage of what appears to be a good bounceback spot against an exploitable Jaguars defense.    

Dishonorable Mentions: Bo Nix (Broncos), Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Jared Goff (Lions)

Running Back

Biggest Winner: Derrick Henry (Ravens)

Aside from the whole being the catalyst for the Bills improbable comeback by fumbling the ball on his own 30 with less than 4 minutes in the game thing, it was a good night for Henry against the Bills. The future Hall of Famer continued to look like an ageless wonder by turning his 18 carries into 169 YDS and 2 TD's. He also further bolstered his statline by adding a 13-YD reception on his lone target of the evening. Henry will square off against the Browns in Week 2.   

Honorable Mentions: Bijan Robinson (Falcons), Javonte Williams (Cowboys), James Cook (Bills)

Biggest Loser: Kenneth Walker III (Seahawks)

It was a nightmarish start to the season for Walker owners as he not only got stuffed every time he touched the ball against the 49ers stout front (10 carries for 20 YDS, 3 receptions for 4 YDS) but got outplayed by Zach Charbonnet in what appears (for now at least) to be an even timeshare in the Seahawks backfield. Walker will be seeking redemption against a Steelers group on Sunday afternoon that had a hard time containing Breece Hall in Week 1. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Isiah Pacheco (Chiefs), Tyrone Tracy Jr. (Giants). David Montgomery (Lions)

Wide Receiver

Biggest Winner: Zay Flowers (Ravens)

What transpired in the final 4 minutes of the game on Sunday has already and will continue to overshadow just how damn good Flowers was against the Bills. The 3rd year receiver was basically unguardable as his precise route-running/strong YAC ability had the Bills lackluster secondary on skates for 4 quarters, which allowed him to log a career-high 143 YDS and a TD on 7 receptions while adding another 8 YDS on his 2 backfield touches. Anybody who felt Flowers was in line for a true breakout campaign in 2025 has to feel great about what they saw on Sunday and we'll see if he can keep rolling against the Browns this week.   

Honorable Mentions: Emeka Egbuka (Buccaneers), Deebo Samuel (Commanders), Garrett Wilson (Jets)

Biggest Loser: A.J. Brown (Eagles)

There were several times during the Eagles/Cowboys game last Thursday night where I was wondering if Brown was even on the field. Many people probably didn't even see Brown's lone catch/target of the night as it was an 8-YD grab on the Eagles final drive that helped ice this thunderstorm-delayed game for the defending champs. The good news for Brown is that save for a 51-YD bomb to Jahan Dotson in the 2nd quarter, the Eagles passing attack was very quiet (Jalen Hurts was an efficient 19/23 but only threw for 152 YDS on a night where the quick dump offs to Dallas Goedert and Saquon Barkley reigned supreme) and they should be in line for a better showing against a Chiefs team that is vulnerable to the pass. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals), Nico Collins (Texans), Terry McLaurin (Commanders)

Tight End

Biggest Winner: Brock Bowers (Raiders)

The concerns that Bowers was in line for a reduced role in Chip Kelly's system got thrown out the window pretty quickly as the 2024 1st team All-Pro nabbed 5-of-8 targets for 103 against the Christian Gonzalez-less Patriots secondary last Sunday. Things probably would've been even better for Bowers if he didn't miss most of the 4th quarter with a mystery knee ailment that he's since downplayed the severity of. Assuming he's good to go, he'll be a top 3 TE1 option for the Raiders Week 2 tilt with the Chargers.  

Honorable Mentions: Dalton Kincaid (Bills), Travis Kelce (Chiefs), Tyler Warren (Colts)

Biggest Loser: Mark Andrews (Ravens)

After what happened in the Divisional Round in January, part of Andrews had to be happy that his next trip to Buffalo ended up being a very quiet one. Still, it's inherently disappointing and a tad disconcerting that the Ravens starting tight end caught just 1-of-3 targets for 5 YDS on a night where Lamar Jackson was dialed in as a passer and his running mate Isiah Likely was inactive. Despite this slow start, Andrews will remain a TE1 play for this week's contest with the Browns.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Colston Loveland (Bears), T.J. Hockenson (Vikings), Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

Defense/Special Teams

Biggest Winner: Broncos

On a day where Bo Nix and the offense struggled mightily against a Titans defense that was projected to be among the worst in football coming into the year, the Broncos defense stepped up and saved them from suffering a stunning Week 1 upset on their home field by picking up 6 sacks and 2 fumble recoveries in a 20-12 win. This is the exact kind of performance you'd expect from the consensus #1 fantasy D/ST coming into this season and as long as they stay healthy, they should remain a high-end option all season long.  

Honorable Mentions: Packers, Commanders, 49ers

Biggest Loser: Ravens

Zach Orr's group that finished as the top defense in football for the final two months of the 2024 season was nowhere to be found on Sunday as they surrendered a whopping 41 points to the Bills. A sack from Nnmadi Madubiuke was the sole positive contribution on the stat sheet they got all night as they struggled to put pressure on Josh Allen and couldn't convert on the couple solid attempts at picks they had on the handful of errant throws Allen had all game. Drawing the Browns lackluster offense who turned the ball over twice and surrendered a pair of sacks to the Bengals last week in Week 2 is a godsend that could do wonders for restoring their confidence after such a brutal start to the year.    

Dishonorable Mentions: Bills, Lions, Steelers

Quick Movie Reviews: Twinless, The Threesome, Splitsville

Twinless: The reigning Sundance Audience Award winner tells the story of a pair of Portland, Oregon-based men (Dylan O'Brien, James Sweeney-who also wrote and directed) who form a strong, unlikely bond after meeting in a support group for people who've endured the loss of their twin. To say anything more would ruin the surprising directions the narrative goes into, but what I will say is that O'Brien is in elite form as an honest, nice guy with a meathead streak whose struggling to reconcile with how he allowed the cracks in the relationship with his twin brother-who he was once very close with-to build to the point where they rarely spoke during the final years of his life, Sweeney the actor is similarly great with his ability to play a really tricky role with an open heart even at his ugliest moments and Sweeney the writer/director does a great job of mixing black comedy with vulnerable, emotionally charged drama without the tone ever feeling jarring or inauthentic to the story he's telling. While I'm definitely not among the biggest champions of Twinless out there, it's a must-watch for anybody who feels there aren't enough original movies or grounded human stories out there today.          

Grade: B

The Threesome: 20 years ago, The Threesome would've most likely been an American Pie-esque sex comedy. Navigating the fallout of an unexpected threesome is the ideal springboard for 90-100 minutes of dumb jokes, nudity galore and an unexpectedly sweet ending that reminds people that even the crudest motherfuckers on the planet are capable of leading with their hearts from time to time. What Chad Hartigan's The Threesome actually does is turn the ultimate fantasy concept of "guy (Jonah Hauer-King) bangs his longtime crush (Zoey Deutch) and a stranger (Ruby Cruz) who just so happened to be at the restaurant they were both at" into "guy somehow gets both women pregnant and now, all three of them have to deal with a serious situation that none of them could've possibly expected to happen". The more "serious" territory that The Threesome heads into makes it a better movie than it probably would've been otherwise. 

While there is the occasional narrative conceit that pops up to remind people that this is indeed a dramatized work of fiction, the degree in which the film commits to approaching this completely absurd scenario as realistically as possible is impressive. The behavior of every character and the conversations they're having with each other all feel true to life (this is a big testament to just how effortlessly natural the lead performances and Ethan Ogliby's writing are), and the movie gives all of its characters grace as they try to wrap their heads around the uh, unique challenges of their new shared reality. On top of the realness it serves up, it also finds the space to be really funny and charming when this story allows for it. The Threesome is one of the bigger pleasant surprises I've come across this year and I hope that it's able to find an audience some point down the line after its short, small theatrical run (indie distributor Vertical only released in 402 theaters in the US this past weekend) comes to a close.               

Grade: B+

Splitsville: 2025 further solidifies its standing as the best year for theatrical comedies in forever with the madcap screwball slapstick sensation that is Splitsville. Longtime collaborators Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin have a field day exploring the Pandora's Box that opens up when a man (Marvin) whose wife of 17 months (Adria Arjona) asks for a divorce as a result of her infidelity almost immediately turns around and exploits the open relationship his best friend is in (Covino) by having sex with his wife (Dakota Johnson). What's particularly beautiful about Splitsville is that it uses the fragility, insecurity and commitment fears of its main characters as the fuel for a basically non-stop string of ridiculous bits that allows the viewers to laugh as their worlds abruptly fall apart in spectacular fashion. The joke hit rate may not be quite as high as the year's other great comedies (Friendship, The Naked Gun), but there are still plenty of flawlessly assembled bits here that deliver huge laughs (the Chaplin-esque physical comedy of the prolonged fight scene that's teased in the trailer and the opening scene with Marvin and Arjona that takes a completely insane, morbid turn were the top highlights) and all of the established actors here who aren't known for comedy (beyond Johnson and Arjona's terrific work, Charlie Gillespie and Nicholas Braun stand out as the MVP's with their exceptionally funny supporting turns as two of the men that briefly date Arjona's character following her separation from her husband) do a great job of acclimating to the well-oiled dynamic that Covino and Marvin have. Laughing in a movie theater is one of the best things on the planet and it was a great to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon in Boston doing a lot of it while watching Splitsville.        

Grade: B+

The Conjuring Universe Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling "The Conjuring" Universe in honor of the release of the "final" installment "The Conjuring: Last Rites"-which is in theaters now. 

The Conjuring Universe Ranked:

9.The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (C-)

8.Annabelle: Creation (C-)

7.Annabelle (C-)

6.The Curse of La Llorona (C)

5.The Nun II (C)

4.The Nun (C+)

3.The Conjuring 2 (C+)

2.Annabelle Comes Home (B-)

1.The Conjuring (B)

Top Dog: The Conjuring (2013)

As an Insidious hater, I was ready to write off The Conjuring right away. Thankfully, it ended up being one of the best horror movies James Wan has ever made. There's a really classical feel to Wan's direction that allows for the atmosphere to gradually intensify before reaching its spooky supernatural peak in the final half hour or so and grounding the film in sincere, relatable family drama driven by the Warrens (Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga) empathy for the people involved in the cases they take on  makes the film feel human enough to care about whether the flock of vengeful demons that are haunting a Rhode Island farmhouse claim the souls they're seeking.      

Bottom Feeder: The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

While it feels sort of odd naming an entry in the mothership franchise as the worst given how the majority of the spinoffs have turned out, The Devil Made Me Do It contains the most half-assed jump scare attempts of the entire franchise and the legal drama elements to the plot just aren't consistently compelling enough to forgive how little interest it has in fulfilling its obligations as a supernatural horror movie.   

Most Underrated: Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Even 6+ years after its release, the final(?) Annabelle movie being the best of the bunch by far remains a true shock. Longtime Conjuring universe scribe Gary Dauberman relishes the opportunity to move over to the director's chair by making a contained, low-ish stakes teen funhouse horror movie that brought a refreshing sense of playfulness to this normally buttoned-up franchise.   

Most Overrated: The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Letting the jump scare genie out of the bottle so early was a bizarre miscalculation from Wan that erodes much of the spooky atmospherics of the original and turns this into a much more tedious, silly outing than its predecessor. Admittedly, a rewatch could cause me to soften or change this take entirely since I haven't seen it shortly after it released on home video in October 2016, but this is how I feel about it right now and I can't obscure the fact just because I haven't the seen movie in a long time.