Friday, April 26, 2024

2024 NFL Draft: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 2

1.Cooper DeJean, cornerback/safety (Iowa)

2.Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois) 

3.Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon)

4.Tyler Nubin, safety (Minnesota)

5.Troy Franklin, wide receiver (Oregon)

6.Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

7.Ladd McConkey, wide receiver (Georgia)

8.Mike Sainristill, cornerback (Michigan)

9.Jonathon Brooks, running back (Texas)

10.Adonai Mitchell, wide receiver (Texas)

11.T.J. Tampa, cornerback (Iowa State)

12.Kamari Lassiter, cornerback (Georgia)

13.Zach Frazier, center (West Virginia)

14.Roman Wilson, wide receiver (Michigan)

15.Ennis Rakestraw Jr., cornerback (Missouri)

16.Payton Wilson, inside linebacker (NC State)

17.Javon Bullard, safety (Georgia)

18.Chris Braswell, edge rusher (Alabama)

19.Jonah Elliss, edge rusher (Utah)

20.Jaylen Wright, running back (Tennessee) 

21.Keon Coleman, wide receiver (Florida State)

22.Jermaine Burton, wide receiver (Alabama)

23.Bucky Irving, running back (Oregon)

24.Adisa Isaac, edge rusher (Penn State)

25.Edgerrin Cooper, inside linebacker (Texas A&M)

26.Trey Benson, running back (Florida State)

27.Ja'Tavion Sanders, tight end (Texas)

28.Khyree Jackson, cornerback (Oregon)

29.Bralen Trice, edge rusher (Washington)

30.Kris Jenkins, defensive tackle (Michigan)

31.Marshawn Kneeland, edge rusher (Western Michigan)

32.Jaden Hicks, safety (Washington State)

33.Christian Haynes, guard (UConn)

34.Ja'Lynn Polk, wide receiver (Washington)

35.Kiran Amegadjie, tackle (Yale)

36.Blake Watson, running back (Memphis)

37.Jeremiah Trotter Jr., inside linebacker (Clemson)

38.Brandon Dorlus, defensive tackle (Oregon)

39.Austin Booker, edge rusher (Kansas)

40.Ray Davis, running back (Kentucky)

41.Javon Baker, wide receiver (UCF)

42.MarShawn Lloyd, running back (USC)

43.Spencer Rattler, quarterback (South Carolina)

44.Malachi Corley, wide receiver (Western Kentucky)

45.Dadrion Taylor-Demerson, safety (Texas Tech)

46.Malik Washington, wide receiver (Virginia)

47.Andru Phillips, cornerback (Kentucky)

48.Blake Fisher, tackle (Notre Dame)

49.Xavier Thomas, edge rusher (Clemson)

50.Jamari Thrash, wide receiver (Louisville) 

Thursday, April 25, 2024

2024 NFL Mock Draft (4/25, Draft Day)

1.Chicago Bears: Caleb Williams, quarterback (USC):

There's zero suspense here as Williams declined to even visit with any team besides the Bears. Now, the conversation turns to whether or not the 2022 Heisman Trophy Winner can be the first true franchise quarterback in Bears history. My answer is of course not. Not even Tom Brady or Patrick Mahomes could defeat the curse of 100+ straight years of bad-to-mediocre QB play. But I'll be rooting like hell for Williams to pull off the impossible.   

2.Washington Commanders: Jayden Daniels, quarterback (LSU)

Daniels to Washington also felt like a foregone conclusion until last week when Daniels was reportedly offended that he didn't go on a solo pre-draft visit with the team (Washington elected to bring in all of the top QB's not named Caleb Williams at the same time). Could this end up being the kind of manufactured BS storyline that the draft's silly season produces every single year without fail? Of course, but it's notable and realistic enough to take the possibility that Commanders will select another QB here seriously. Ultimately, I'm still leaning towards Daniels ending up with the Commanders. He was the best QB in college football last year and his dynamic dual-threat skillset paired with his accuracy and low turnover rate should make him an appealing option for a new Washington regime that is trying to wash off the stink of Dan Snyder's tenure as owner while also attempting to avoid jumping back on the trick-or-treat roller coaster that Sam Howell had them on with his erratic play last year. 

3.New England Patriots: Drake Maye, quarterback (North Carolina)

The threat of the Patriots taking the "safe" option in J.J. McCarthy remains very real as this is a team that hasn't made it overly clear with their approach this offseason that they're conducting themselves much differently than they had during the previous 24 years when Bill Belichick was in charge. However, Robert Kraft has never faced more heat during his ownership than he's facing right now and bringing in another boring quarterback that has no elite traits other than moxie after Mac Jones' disastrous tenure with the team would be grounds for a mutiny among Pats fans. What Maye lacks in a clear floor he makes up for with some of the most exciting arm talent and potentially special athletic gifts that we've seen out of any QB prospect in the last handful of years. If he gets coached up and loses the bad decision-making habits/inconsistences with accuracy he flashed in college, he could turn into the next Josh Allen.  Selecting Maye would signal that a new era has finally arrived in Foxboro, which is exactly what this organization needs right now.       

4.Arizona Cardinals: Marvin Harrison Jr., wide receiver (Ohio State)

The window for trades should open up here. However, word is that the Cardinals are asking for a whole lot to take this draft pick off their hands and no one seems willing to meet their asking price. Driving a hard bargain is the right play for the Cardinals as sticking and picking would net them Harrison Jr. The Ohio State product who just so happens to be the son of a Hall of a Fame Wide Receiver has a combination of size, speed and YAC ability that is incredibly rare even in an era where the pool of high-end receivers coming out of college is seemingly getting deeper every year, which would make him a welcome addition to a Cardinals squad whose current top receiver is 2nd year pro Michael Wilson-who finished his rookie season with 565 YDS.       

5.Los Angeles Chargers: Malik Nabers, wide receiver (LSU)

Keep an eye on Jim Harbaugh making his presence felt with the Chargers right away by forcing them to trade back and get more picks to take lunchpail guys that will help bring some god damn toughness back to the Bolts. To me at least, addressing their receiver situation should be their clear top priority as Josh Palmer and Quentin Johnston currently sit atop the depth chart after Keenan Allen and Mike Williams got sent out of town in March. Adding Nabers to the fold would be their best bet for trying to solve this bleak problem in a timely fashion. Nabers' explosiveness and route-running prowess was essential to LSU's success in 2023 and having somebody that can get open on different levels of the field and is a constant threat to hit home runs could be huge for jumpstarting the next era of Justin Herbert's career.        

6.New York Giants: Rome Odunze, wide receiver (Washington)

Quarterback will absolutely be in consideration here given how Daniel Jones played last year and the fact that both Brian Daboll and Joe Schoen could be on the chopping block if they have another disappointing season in 2024. That being said, it's hard to envision a scenario where Jones or a rookie would be able to do much of anything with their receiving corps as currently constructed. Odunze is the kind of player that can come in and radically transform a passing attack right away with his ability to make absurd contested catches downfield and I think that somebody like Daboll would be able to tap into his route-running versatility/YAC skills that were underutilized in Washington's vertical-dominant passing attack.      

7.Tennessee Titans: Joe Alt, tackle (Notre Dame)

Adding Peter Skoronski at guard last year wasn't enough to fix the Titans dreadful offensive line. Perhaps going back to the o-line well in the 1st round this year to get a plug-and-play left tackle will provide the spark that jumpstarts this group's rebuilding efforts. At 6'8 and 322 lbs, Alt is one of the most physically imposing tackle prospects you'll ever see step on the field and unlike a lot of guys his size, he's a fluid athlete that's capable of mirroring edge rushers of all sizes as well as a refined all-around blocker.      

8.Atlanta Falcons: Dallas Turner, edge rusher (Alabama)

A defensive player going in the top 10!?! Say it ain't so!!! The signing of Kirk Cousins took the Falcons out of the QB market for at least another year, which likely means they'll be turning their attention to addressing their pass rush. Turner's technique is going to need some work in order for him to succeed in the pros, but his relentless motor, violent hands and special gift for chasing down rushers who appear to be on the cusp of breaking off a huge gain should provide Raheem Morris with plenty to work with.    

9.Chicago Bears: Jared Verse, edge rusher (Florida State)

Adding a young receiver would be ideal, but the Bears are not well positioned to move up with no 2nd round pick this year, it's not overly likely that Nabers or Odunze falls to them and taking any of the available receivers here would be a reach. Trading back to pick up some more draft capital seems like the most feasible play in a scenario where Nabers and Odunze are off the board and that's where Verse comes in. Verse is strong enough against the run to move DeMarcus Walker back into the situational pass-rushing role he's most comfortable in and has the explosive speed-to-power rush ability to turn into a nice complement to Montez Sweat. 

10.New York Jets: Brock Bowers, tight end (Georgia)

The smart thing to do would be to take one of the many high-upside tackle prospects that are on the board to provide insurance for the oft-injured Tyron Smith. The Jets thing to do will be to give their idiot geriatric quarterback another weapon for their next failed attempt to field a contending team overnight. No disrespect to Bowers though, who is a guy that I'm very high on and has the potential to be a serious matchup nightmare at the next level given how polished and explosive of a receiver he is for the tight end position.      

11.Minnesota Vikings: J.J. McCarthy, quarterback (Michigan)

McCarthy to Minnesota would be a best-case scenario for this year's most polarizing draft riser. Kevin O'Connell runs one of the most QB-friendly schemes in the league, Justin Jefferson/Jordan Addison/T.J. Hockenson is the kind of reliable tandem of pass-catchers that every young signalcaller dreams of having as a rookie and their offensive line is pretty terrific. The only burning question remaining is do the Vikings believe enough in his ability to handle a full QB workload after being a sidecar at Michigan to pay the steep price to move up and get him?     

12.Denver Broncos: Michael Penix Jr., quarterback (Washington)

Adding Zach Wilson via trade on Monday is an interesting late game wrinkle that suggests that the Broncos might be pursuing a position other than QB in the 1st round. Still, there's something about a QB battle between Wilson and Jarrett Stidham that just doesn't sound right for a Sean Payton-coached team that was hamstrung by Russell Wilson's clear limitations as a passer last season. Selecting somebody with an absolute cannon like Penix Jr. would grant Payton the opportunity to air it out more like he did in New Orleans while also getting the Broncos out of a clear stopgap situation at QB. As much as this team needs to pursue other positions in the draft thanks to the unprecedented dead cap figure that releasing Wilson saddled them with, this opportunity to bring in a potential franchise QB just might be too tempting for Payton to resist.   

13.Las Vegas Raiders: Quinyon Mitchell, cornerback (Toledo)

This seems like a logical place for the expected mid-to-late 1st round run on corners to begin. As respectable as the Raiders pass defense was last season, they still don't have a true #1 corner and Mitchell could fill that role seamlessly. He's a fast, physical corner with plus ball skills and the type of sound, willing tackling that is becoming increasingly rare for the position whose standout performance at the Senior Bowl indicates that he's capable of putting the clamps on receivers that are much better than the ones he faced during his time at Toledo. 

14.New Orleans Saints: Tailese Fuaga, tackle/guard (Oregon State)

It would be shocking if the Saints didn't go o-line here, so it really comes down to which available member of this deep class do they like the most. With his pass-blocking prowess, visible mean streak and positional versatility, Fuaga seems like a great candidate to join Dennis Allen's squad.  

15.Indianapolis Colts: Terrion Arnold, cornerback (Alabama)

An agile ballhawk who had his feet held to the fire on a regular basis as a man cover corner in the SEC over the past 2 years would be a welcome addition to a Colts corner room that lacks any proven talent on the outside.  

16.Seattle Seahawks: Troy Fautanu, tackle/guard (Washington)

This is a pick that John Schneider really needs to nail as they have multiple needs on both sides of the ball and all of the action at QB and WR at the top of the board gives them a great opportunity to land a top-end talent at another position for a discounted price. There are sexier, splashier picks than Fautanu here, but he's a high-floor player that can come in and provide some much-needed immediate stability at either right tackle or guard for this below average offensive line.    

17.Jacksonville Jaguars: Cooper DeJean, cornerback/safety (Iowa)

Diminishing the concerns surrounding the broken fibula he suffered last November with his Pro Day performance has greatly reduced the odds of DeJean slipping out of the 1st round. With that mind, his unique skill set should attract the attention of many suitors from #15-32 and the Jags appear to be in a prime position to select the Iowa DB. His elite ball skills/instincts and top-tier athleticism that allows him to drop back in coverage, attack the line of scrimmage or serve as a QB spy with equal precision makes him an appealing chess piece for new DC Ryan Nielsen to utilize.

18.Cincinnati Bengals: JC Latham, tackle (Alabama)

Replacing the starting spots vacated by D.J. Reader and Jonah Williams are the top priorities for the Bengals in this draft. Given the notorious unreliability of their current projected starting right tackle Trent Brown, I'm going to lean towards a replacement for Williams here. Latham is an absolute behemoth who has 2 years of starting RT experience under his belt at Alabama and while his game remains very rough around the edges-especially as a run-blocker, you can't teach the kind of power and feel for the game that this kid has.     

19.Los Angeles Rams: Byron Murphy II, defensive tackle (Texas)

Stepping into a role vacated by a generational talent in Aaron Donald is an intimidating ask for a rookie, but Murphy II would be thrust into that unfavorable position if he was selected by the Rams. While he's not the natural pass-rusher with a superhuman motor that Donald was, Murphy is a twitchy athlete with explosive power that has a chance to be a top-tier interior disruptor at the next level-especially if paired with somebody who IS a natural pass-rusher in Kobie Turner.    

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Olu Fashanu, tackle (Penn State)

It's fair to question why the Steelers would take another tackle just a year after selecting Broderick Jones. Well, Dan Moore Jr. remains a huge liability on the left side and Jones might be better suited to play right tackle in the NFL. Bringing in Fashanu would allow Jones to stick on the right side while potentially shoring up the left side with a disciplined player that excels in pass protection who has the potential to be an elite overall tackle if he can improve his consistency as a run-blocker. 

21.Miami Dolphins: Graham Barton, tackle/guard (Duke)

Barton has become quite the darling in league circles following his strong pre-draft workouts and with the Dolphins losing a pair of starters on the interior (Robert Hunt, Connor Williams) and having a pair of tackles that aren't exactly known for staying on the field (Terron Armstead, Austin Jackson), his toughness and ability to play any spot on the line would be particularly useful in South Beach.

22.Philadelphia Eagles: Nate Wiggins, cornerback (Clemson)

James Bradberry and Darius Slay are both on the wrong side of 30 and coming off terrible seasons. While Howie Roseman could give these famously erratic corners an opportunity to redeem themselves in new DC Vic Fangio's system, adding some additional young blood to their CB group might not be such a bad idea. Wiggins didn't get beat deep too much during his time at Clemson and has the exact combo of speed, size and fluidity teams covet in their outside corners, which would make him a great apprentice to Slay and Bradberry in the interim and a possible high-end replacement for either of them a year or so down the line.   

23.Minnesota Vikings: Laiatu Latu, edge rusher (UCLA)

If the Vikings do deliver on their hopes to trade up, this pick is as good as gone. If they don't, Latu would be an awesome pickup. The UCLA product is a peak candidate to slide down the board on account of a neck injury that kept him out for 2 full seasons (2020 and 2021), but his tape and intangibles (his bend, hand usage and proper setting of the edge are easily the best among this class) are so good that it's hard to see him falling out of the 1st round entirely. A blitz-happy DC in Brian Flores could have a field day with somebody whose game is pro-ready and would relish the opportunity to pin his ears back and attack the QB most of the time he's on the field.   

24.Dallas Cowboys: Amarius Mims, tackle (Georgia)

Mims is the ultimate dice roll prospect. He only started 8 career games at Georgia (6 of which were last season), but he played great when he was out there and possesses an absurd size/athleticism combo (he's 6''8, 340 lbs and ran a 5.07 40 at the Combine) that will have teams salivating. Jerry Jones certainly has the balls to take such a huge risk early in the draft and landing on a team with 9x All-Pro Zack Martin, 2023 All-Pro Tyler Smith and an established starting right tackle in Terrence Steele would put Mims in a great spot to work on his craft without having to pull an inordinate amount of weight while he goes through his inevitable growing pains.      

25.Green Bay Packers: Tyler Guyton, tackle (Oklahoma)

The Packers have done an excellent job of coaching up offensive lineman with major weaknesses in their games (Zach Tom, Rasheed Walker, Jon Runyan Jr.-who just for the Giants in free agency) in recent years and with longtime left tackle David Bakhitari officially out of the fold, Guyton would be the perfect project for them to take on next. His tenure at Oklahoma was plagued with inconsistency, but he's a top-tier athlete whose flashes of elite hand usage, movement skills and work in pass sets showcased the immense potential he has.        

26.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon)

While There are far sexier areas of needs to Bucs address here like corner or edge rusher, they really need to add more talent next to Tristian Wirfs on the O-line or their offense is going to keep sputtering out far more often than it should be. Powers-Johnson is a tough, savvy player with a track record of consistently strong play in college who should provide the Bucs with the interior anchor they've lacked since Ryan Jensen's last healthy season in 2021.  

27.Arizona Cardinals: Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois)

After landing a WR at #4, the Cardinals should look to the defensive side of the ball with their other 1st rounder and given that their rebuild is still in its infancy, they have the luxury of going with best player available here. Enter Newton. The Illinois product is a bit undersized(6'2, 295 lbs), but his knack for shedding blocks, getting after the quarterback and catching opposing lineman off guard with his strength could make him a special playmaker in the pros.    

28.Buffalo Bills: Brian Thomas Jr., wide receiver (LSU)

Trading Stefon Diggs to Houston and letting Gabe Davis and Trent Sherfield to walk in free agency has stripped the Bills WR room down to the studs. Adding a downfield burner with a nose for the endzone in Thomas Jr. would bring the threat of fireworks back to the Bills passing attack and perhaps more importantly, allow their top returning WR Khalil Shakir to continue to operate in his natural habitat of the slot.   

29.Detroit Lions: Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

Bringing in Carlton Davis is a nice start to the Lions much-needed overhaul at the corner position, but they still need to do more to bolster a unit that got picked part nearly every week a season ago. McKinstry is the kind of corner that would make Dan Campbell put his head through the wall. He's tough. He's physical. He never takes a play off. This man deserves to be a Detroit Lion and if the other 31 teams had any damn class, they would step aside and allow this beautiful hypothetical marriage to become a real one.  

30.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Morgan, tackle (Arizona)

Shipping off Morgan Moses to the Jets added even more uncertainty to a Ravens tackle room that has been forced to get really creative over the last few years with Ronnie Stanley being constantly in and out of the lineup while nursing multiple nagging injuries. Adding someone like Morgan who logged 33 starts at LT in college and played at a consistently high level against solid D1 competition to their group would bring the hope that some stability could be in the cards for a group that hasn't had that luxury in quite some time.       

31.San Francisco 49ers: Chop Robinson, edge rusher (Penn State)

If Brandon Aiyuk gets traded before the 49ers go on the clock, disregard this prediction and put a WR like Adonai Mitchell or Troy Franklin here instead. If not, keep reading. The Chase Young experiment didn't work out like the 49ers had hoped it would down the stretch last season and free agent pickup Leonard Floyd is only on a 1-year deal, so why not try to find a long-term partner for Nick Bosa here? Robinson is armed with nothing but elite burst and a dream when he rushes the passer right now, but if he can develop some more strength and a deeper arsenal of pass-rushing moves, he'll have a real shot at becoming an All-Pro-caliber player.      

32.Kansas City Chiefs: Ladd McConkey, wide receiver (Georgia)

Rashee Rice's recent choice to cosplay as Dom Toretto down in Dallas has further exasperated the Chiefs desperate need to add more talent at the receiver position in this draft. Fortunately for the Chiefs, this is an extremely deep class at the position and several high-upside guys will be available to them at #32 without having to trade up. Since McConkey is the best route runner available and would give them a pure slot receiver that Patrick Mahomes could hit underneath whenever his outside guys aren't open, I'm choosing him as the lucky duck that gets to play for the reigning Super Bowl Champs.  

2nd Round:

33.Carolina Panthers: Adonai Mitchell, wide receiver (Texas)

34.New England Patriots: Kingsley Suamataia, tackle (BYU)

35.Arizona Cardinals: Ennis Rakestraw Jr., cornerback (Missouri) 

36.Washington Commanders: Troy Franklin, wide receiver (Oregon)

37.Los Angeles Chargers: Blake Corum, running back (Michigan)

38.Tennessee Titans: Marshawn Kneeland, edge rusher (Western Michigan)

39.Carolina Panthers: T.J. Tampa, cornerback (Iowa State) 

40.Washington Commanders: Mike Sainsristil, cornerback (Michigan) 

41.Green Bay Packers: Tyler Nubin, safety (Minnesota) 

42.Houston Texans: Braden Fiske, defensive tackle (Florida State) 

43.Atlanta Falcons: Kamari Lassiter, cornerback (Georgia) 

44.Las Vegas Raiders: Xavier Legette, wide receiver (South Carolina) 

45.New Orleans Saints: Ricky Pearsall, wide receiver (Florida) 

46.Indianapolis Colts: Xavier Worthy, wide receiver (Texas) 

47.New York Giants: Bo Nix, quarterback (Oregon) 

48.Jacksonville Jaguars: Darius Robinson, edge rusher (Missouri)

49.Cincinnati Bengals: Kris Jenkins, defensive tackle (Michigan) 

50.Philadelphia Eagles: Payton Wilson, inside linebacker (NC State)

51.Pittsburgh Steelers: Ja'Lynn Polk, wide receiver (Washington) 

52.Los Angeles Rams: Zach Frazier, center (West Virginia) 

53.Philadelphia Eagles: Javon Bullard, safety (Georgia)  

54.Cleveland Browns: Kiran Amegadjie, tackle (Yale)

55.Miami Dolphins: Ja'Tavion Sanders, tight end (Texas) 

56.Dallas Cowboys: Jonathon Brooks, running back (Texas)

57.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Edgerrin Cooper, inside linebacker (Texas A&M)

58.Green Bay Packers: Junior Colson, inside linebacker (Michigan) 

59.Houston Texans: Max Melton, cornerback (Rutgers)

60.Buffalo Bills: Khyree Jackson, cornerback (Oregon)

61.Detroit Lions: Chris Braswell, edge rusher (Alabama)

62.Baltimore Ravens: Bralen Trice, edge rusher (Washington)

63.San Francisco 49ers: Christian Haynes, guard (UConn)

64.Kansas City Chiefs: Patrick Paul, tackle (Houston) 

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

2024 NFL Draft: Top 50 Overall Prospects and Top 5 by Position

Top 50 Overall Prospects:

1.Marvin Harrison Jr., wide receiver (Ohio State)

2.Joe Alt, tackle (Notre Dame)

3.Rome Odunze, wide receiver (Washington)

4.Malik Nabers, wide receiver (LSU)

5.Drake Maye, quarterback (North Carolina)

6.Cooper DeJean, cornerback/safety (Iowa)

7.Laiatu Latu, edge rusher (UCLA)

8.Brock Bowers, tight end (Georgia)

9.Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois) 

10.Dallas Turner, edge rusher (Alabama)

11.Olu Fashanu, tackle (Penn State)

12.Terrion Arnold, cornerback (Alabama)

13.Caleb Williams, quarterback (USC)

14.Quinyon Mitchell, cornerback (Toledo)

15.Tailese Fuaga, tackle/guard (Oregon State)

16.Jared Verse, edge rusher (Florida State)

17.Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon)

18.Brian Thomas Jr., wide receiver (LSU)

19.Troy Fautanu, tackle/guard (Washington)

20.Jayden Daniels, quarterback (LSU)

21.Tyler Nubin, safety (Minnesota)

22.Troy Franklin, wide receiver (Oregon)

23.Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

24.Graham Barton, tackle/guard (Duke)

25.Ladd McConkey, wide receiver (Georgia)

26.Mike Sainristill, cornerback (Michigan)

27.JC Latham, tackle (Alabama)

28.Jonathon Brooks, running back (Texas)

29.J.J. McCarthy, quarterback (Michigan)

30.Adonai Mitchell, wide receiver (Texas)

31.T.J. Tampa, cornerback (Iowa State)

32.Byron Murphy II, defensive tackle (Texas)

33.Kamari Lassiter, cornerback (Georgia)

34.Nate Wiggins, cornerback (Clemson)

35.Jordan Morgan, tackle (Arizona)

36.Zach Frazier, center (West Virginia)

37.Roman Wilson, wide receiver (Michigan)

38.Bo Nix, quarterback (Oregon)

39.Ennis Rakestraw Jr., cornerback (Missouri)

40.Payton Wilson, inside linebacker (NC State)

41.Ricky Pearsall, wide receiver (Florida)

42.Javon Bullard, safety (Georgia)

43.Chris Braswell, edge rusher (Alabama)

44.Michael Penix Jr., quarterback (Washington)

45.Jonah Elliss, edge rusher (Utah)

46.Chop Robinson, edge rusher (Penn State)

47.Amarius Mims, tackle (Georgia)

48.Jaylen Wright, running back (Tennessee) 

49.Keon Coleman, wide receiver (Florida State)

50.Darius Robinson, edge rusher (Missouri)

Top 5 By Position: 

Quarterback:

1.Drake Maye (North Carolina)

2.Caleb Williams (USC)

3.Jayden Daniels (LSU)

4.J.J. McCarthy (Michigan)

5.Bo Nix (Oregon)

Running Back:

1.Jonathon Brooks (Texas)

2.Jaylen Wright (Tennessee) 

3.Bucky Irving (Oregon)

4.Trey Benson (Florida State)

5.Blake Watson (Memphis)

Wide Receiver:

1.Marvin Harrison Jr. (Ohio State)

2.Rome Odunze (Washington)

3.Malik Nabers (LSU)

4.Brian Thomas Jr. (LSU)

5.Troy Franklin (Oregon)

Tight End:

1.Brock Bowers (Georgia)

2.Ja'Tavion Sanders (Texas)

3.Ben Sinnott (Kansas State)

4.Erick All (Iowa)

5.Cade Stover (Ohio State)

Tackle:

1.Joe Alt (Notre Dame)

2.Olu Fashanu (Penn State)

3.Tailese Fuaga (Oregon State)

4.Troy Fautanu (Washington)

5.Graham Barton (Duke)

Guard:

1.Christian Haynes (UConn)

2.Cooper Beebe (Kansas State)

3.Christian Mahogany (Boston College)

4.Mason McCormick (South Dakota State)

5.Trevor Keegan (Michigan)

Center:

1.Jackson Powers-Johnson (Oregon)

2.Zach Frazier (West Virginia)

3.Sedrick Van Pran (Georgia)

4.Hunter Nourzad (Penn State)

5.Tanor Bortolini (Wisconsin)

Edge Rusher:

1.Laiatu Latu (UCLA)

2.Dallas Turner (Alabama)

3.Jared Verse (Florida State)

4.Chris Braswell (Alabama)

5.Jonah Elliss (Utah)

Defensive Tackle:

1.Johnny Newton (Illinois)

2.Byron Murphy II (Texas)

3.Kris Jenkins (Michigan)

4.Brandon Dorlus (Oregon)

5.Braden Fiske (Florida State)

Inside Linebacker:

1.Payton Wilson (NC State)

2.Edgerrin Cooper (Texas A&M)

3.Jeremiah Trotter Jr. (Clemson)

4.Junior Colson (Michigan)

5.Jordan Magee (Temple)

Cornerback:

1.Cooper DeJean (Iowa)

2.Terrion Arnold (Alabama)

3.Quinyon Mitchell (Toledo)

4.Kool-Aid McKinstry (Alabama)

5.Mike Sainristill (Michigan)

Safety:

1.Tyler Nubin (Minnesota)

2.Javon Bullard (Georgia)

3.Jaden Hicks (Washington State)

4.Dadrion Taylor-Demerson (Texas Tech)

5.Calen Bullock (USC)

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Famke Janssen Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Famke Janssen-whose latest project "Boy Kills World" releases in theaters on Thursday night. 

Famke Janssen's Filmography Ranked:

17.The Poison Rose (D-)

16.All I Wish (D)

15.Taken 2 (D)

14.Once Upon a Time in Venice (C-)

13.The Vault (B-)

12.Primal (B-)

11.X-Men: The Last Stand (B-)

10.The Wolverine (B)

9.I Spy (B)

8.Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (B)

7.X-Men (B)

6.GoldenEye (B+)

5.Taken (B+)

4.X2 (B+)

3.The Wackness (A-)

2.Rounders (A-)

1.X-Men: Days of Future Past (A)

Top Dog: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Everything that's transpired with the X-Men franchise (Fox's sale to Disney, Dark Phoenix tanking, the string of disturbing allegations that have come out about individuals not named Gavin Hood, Matthew Vaughn, James Mangold or Simon Kinberg who served as directors for at least 1 film in the series) since the release of Days of Future Past just under 10 years ago has managed to kind of overshadow just how great of a film it is. Days of Future Past's time travel plot isn't some cheap nostalgia exercise to bring together the old and new generation of X-Men stars, it's the crux of a powerful story about how different generations continue to fight the same battles for justice in a world that won't allow it to happen, and the wide array of effects time can have on a person's character, belief system, etc. It also doesn't hurt that the action sequences rip, the performances are pretty great and the scene in the kitchen where Quicksilver (Evan Peters) saves the day is one of the coolest moments in superhero movie history.   

Bottom Feeder: The Poison Rose (2019)

Never mind all of the Aaron Eckhart action vehicles and Pauly Shore comedies, the most depressing brand of shoddy VOD fodder is the serious crime thriller starring a slew of actors that people from several generations will instantly recognize. Of the small number of films that fall into this camp that I've seen, The Poison Rose is hands down the worst. It's like if somebody tried to write an old school noir potboiler immediately after suffering a concussion then called in a bunch of favors or collected a whole lot to blackmail to get the likes of John Travolta, Morgan Freeman, Brendan Fraser, Peter Stromare, Robert Patrick and Janssen to star in it. Few films I've seen in the past five years are this inept from top to bottom and it warms my heart that such a small number of people (it only has 11,140 votes on IMDb and 3,805 on Letterboxd) got duped into watching this cheap, incoherent snoozefest of a movie.       

Most Underrated: The Wackness (2008)

There are several coming-of-age movies that I think are better than The Wackness, but do any of them feature Ben Kingsley as a loser NYC therapist who strikes up an unlikely friendship with an 18-year-old patient (Josh Peck) who pays for his sessions in weed? Exactly. In all seriousness, this is a very funny, bittersweet and moving movie that serves as an excellent showcase for the underrated filmmaking talents of Jonathan Levine. 

Most Overrated: X-Men (2000)

X-Men accomplished plenty of great things. It planted the seeds for the superhero movie boom that really took later in the 2000's and was the first time audiences got to see three of the best portrayals of comic book characters we've ever seen on screen in Hugh Jackman's Wolverine, Patrick Stewart's Professor X and Ian McKellen's Magneto. Where the original X-Men falls well short of the best films in the series is with its inconsistent pacing, middling action sequences and horrendous secondary villains (sorry guys, I think Sabertooth and Toad are lame as hell).

Monday, April 22, 2024

2024 NFL Draft Week Content Schedule

Tomorrow: Famke Janssen Ranked

Wednesday: Top 50 Prospects Available+Top 5 Prospects at Each Position 

Thursday: 2-Round Draft Day Mock

Friday: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 2

Saturday: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 3

Sunday: Updated Version of Top 50 Prospects Available and Top 5 Prospects at Each Position with NFL Landing Spots 

Next Monday: Full NFL Draft Recap with Winners and Losers, Grades and More

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Movie Review: The First Omen

 

A legacy prequel to a horror classic turning out to be a legit good movie is always a pleasant surprise when it happens. The First Omen is the latest entry in this camp and arriving just 6 months after The Exorcist: Believer let out a massive wet fart in theaters makes its existence even more welcome. 

Co-writer/director Arkasha Stevenson-who cut her teeth as an episodic TV mercenary-shows some pretty strong command of the feature medium in her film debut as she uses the tale of a young American nun (Nell Tiger Free) who is tasked by a disgraced priest (Ralph Ineson) to help unravel a sinister conspiracy in the Italian church she just joined to set up the birth of the antichrist which drives the events of the 1976 film from Richard Donner. Whatever parallels exist between The First Omen and last month's Immaculate are merely an unfortunate coincidence as this takes a far more serious, atmospheric approach to its subject matter than Michael Mohan's campy thrill ride did. 

This creepy slow burn approach proves to be a wise one as Stevenson provides plenty of space for a sense of gradually escalating unease to build via its use of powerfully grotesque imagery that's beautifully lensed by rising star cinematographer Aaron Morton (No One Will Save You, this weekend's Abigail) and an engaging story that touches not only on themes of a woman's bodily autonomy, but the fear-mongering tactics religious institutions use to garner support among the public during times of societal crisis. All of this leads to a disturbing finale where Free really shines by unleashing all of the fury her character's been holding in for most of the movie with the kind of vicious blunt force that we don't see on screen often enough and the full picture of evil that's been bubbling underneath the surface the entire time finally reveals its hideous face in all of its insidious glory. 

Ironically, The First Omen really only stumbles in its final moments when it has to deliver the explicit connective tissue between its story and The Omen. For a film that is deadly serious, creepy and pretty grounded by supernatural horror standards, the sudden pivot to ridiculous, contrived narrative tie-ins at the very end is baffling to witness. All of the careful craftsmanship and sinister beauty that Stevenson built up disappears from the frame as the obligatory franchise tie-ins are tossed out there with a similar level of soulless as we saw in the aforementioned disaster The Exorcist: Believer.   

As rock solid as The First Omen is on the whole, its franchise ties prove to be a burden that ultimately makes it worse overall and is yet another damning strike against the whole practice of making horror films that tie directly into beloved films from the past. Requels, reboots and prequels are a phenomenon that will never leave the horror genre, but the filmmakers and studios could make them considerably better if they stopped shoehorning in connections and references to the past films that don't need to be there. Stevenson shows a lot of skill as a filmmaker here and I don't think it's a coincidence that the only time she dropped the ball was when it came time to connect her film with Donner's. Take that mandate from Disney/20th Century off the table and we could be looking at a great horror film instead of one that stops just short of greatness due to a needlessly forced dud of an ending that only exists to serve the IP gods.               

Grade: B

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Kathryn Newton Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Kathryn Newton-whose latest project "Abigail" releases in theaters tomorrow night. 

Kathryn Newton's Filmography Ranked:

10.Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (D+)

9.Pokemon Detective Pikachu (C)

8.Lisa Frankenstein (C+)

7.The Map of Tiny Perfect Things (B-)

6.Bad Teacher (B-)

5.Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (B-)

4.Ben is Back (B)

3.Freaky (B+)

2.Blockers (A-)

1.Lady Bird (A-)

Top Dog: Lady Bird (2017)

Greta Gerwig's path to directorial domination started here. In her first solo venture as a filmmaker, the veteran actor proved that she was even better behind the camera with this remarkably confident, funny coming-of-age story that is led by a pair of outstanding performances from Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf .  

Bottom Feeder: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

Two movies come to mind when anyone asks me to name the worst superhero movies released in recent years: Morbius and Quantumania. Using the character of Scott Lang/Ant-Man-who's previous two headlining features were largely contained, goofy movies with small stakes-as the gateway to setting up the Multiverse concept didn't seem like a great idea on paper. In practice, it's somehow considerably worse since the story is an incoherent mess that introduces subplots every 3 minutes only to discard about 95% of them before there ever resolved, it looks like absolute shit courtesy of the decision to use The Volume over a normal greenscreen/practical set combo and director Peyton Reed somehow renders the allegedly vibrant sci-fi universe of the Quantum Realm into a completely nondescript creation that isn't worthy of further exploration. Marvel has made plenty of frustratingly innocuous movies over the years, but it was truly stunning to see Kevin Feige and his team of meddling minions be behind something so deeply inept.              

Most Underrated: Blockers (2018)

Aside from Game Night, Blockers was my favorite comedy released in the sneaky great year for the genre that was 2018. Kay Cannon does an incredible job of fusing the more progressive views on sex, sexuality and gender of this era with a string of terrific raunchy R-rated comedy bits that feel like they were ripped straight out of the 90's/00's. Further elevating this great material is a handful of pitch-perfect comedic performances from Leslie Mann, Ike Barinholtz, John Cena, Geraldine Viswanathan and Hannibal Burress that deserve the same amount of love as the all the great ones from Game Night have continued to receive over the years.       

Most Overrated: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

What a comparatively clunky outlier in the brilliant career of Martin McDonagh. The film's heavy-handed melodrama, weird tonal shifts and ambiguous clunker of an ending are the total antithesis of the wall-to-wall excellence found in In Bruges and The Banshees of Inisherin. The only thing that saves Three Billboards from completely collapsing are the trio of great performances from Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell and Samara Weaving-who steals every single she's in as the much younger girlfriend of McDormand's character's ex-husband played by John Hawkes.  

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Movie Review: Civil War


It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Alex Garland's Civil War would be a lightning rod for discourse and a wide array of impassioned reactions. As any cinephile that's immersed in the current movie climate would tell you, Garland's films are always magnets for strong opinions, so naturally his take on a dystopian near future where the United States is involved in their second civil war would elevate this phenomenon to soaring new heights. 

Even if a less polarizing filmmaker were to take this on, people were bound to go into and come out of this film with some violently strong feelings. The prospect of a civil war breaking out in the United States isn't all that far-fetched in a political climate where the right wing is openly fascist, the left wing doesn't seem interested in doing anything about the rise of violent extremism among the right and the overwhelming majority of people living in the country have seen their quality of life decrease considerably over the past decade or so as both sides fail to pass any legislation that doesn't further attack whatever rights they have left or help corporations/the ultrawealthy further line their pockets while the world crumbles around them. Choosing to enter such a high-profile, daunting political octagon takes a real sense of conviction and willingness to take huge risks-which tracks since Garland has established himself as a filmmaker who isn't afraid to roll the dice. For me at least, Garland's journey into the pressure cooker of American politics proved to be a pretty big success.  

What will make or break Civil War for many viewers is how Garland chooses to frame the titular conflict. The film follows four journalists (Kristen Dunst, Wagner Moura, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson) as they make the drive from New York City to Washington DC with the intention of interviewing the president of the United States (Nick Offermann) before the successionist movement led by the Western Forces of Texas and California-who are gathered at a military base in Charlottesville, Virginia-launch an attack on DC on July 4th. No significant explanations are given as to why the successionist movement took place/what their political goals are, how the president went to serve a 3rd term, etc. Instead, Garland elects to drop you in the middle of an ongoing military conflict and lets you draw your own conclusions based on what the journalists capture and experience during their harrowing journey down the East Coast. While this lack of context and thorough examination of the motivations behind such a brutal conflict will prove to be maddening for some, I found Garland's decision to tell a story of a war through the sights and sounds of the battlefield to be deeply unnerving and more insightful than it likely would've been if it had focused more on the origins of the conflict.      

The thing about warfare that seemingly gets glossed over when its being discussed is that the why isn't all that important while the bullets and bombs are flying. Widespread destruction and the constant threat of violence and/or displacement are the new normal for the people living in the affected areas and everyday becomes a harrowing fight for survival. Think about what living in that kind of environment does to the human psyche. In some, it will unlock a greater level of empathy and compassion for their fellow man. For others, it will cause them to revert to their animalistic tendencies where the only thing that matters is the thrill of the hunt and protecting their life and resources by any means necessary. Then there's of course the people that just become so desensitized to the horrors of their environment that they kind of just float through each day with no feelings or emotions. Finally, you have the journalists who elect to run towards the violence in the name of reporting the facts to the people, an obsession to "get" the story, seeking out a sadistic thrill in order to feel alive or some combination of the three. 

Over the course of the film, Garland shows us how this environment breeds all of these things and more. Unlikely heroes are made. Unspeakable atrocities are committed in the name of country, liberty or simply what the person pulling the trigger or hitting the button believes is right. Action or inaction often triumphs over emotion. It's really a striking encapsulation of the unwavering fluidity of morality, all the great and awful shit humans are capable of doing when their lives are at risk and the pointless cruelty that the whole charade of war causes. Using the framing device of a road trip provides an organic way to see how our protagonists react when they're confronted with a string of different situations with people who've been impacted by the conflict in radically different ways and by the time film has reached its conclusion, it's stunning to reflect on not only what they've seen, but how many sides of them we've seen over the course of a handful of days. If the narrative were less ambiguous, I'm not sure we would've gotten a film that was so richly detailed in its depiction of a modern American warzone and got such nuanced performances from the exceptional primary cast who see their long-held philosophies challenged during this harrowing trip.                   

Another fascinating element of Civil War is how it examines just how many people choose to sit by idly while destruction and death ravages parts of the country. It's alluded to several times in the dialogue and through one particularly disarming scene in the second act where the journalists stop in a small town that has seemingly been completely untouched by the combat that there are people just kind of sitting the sidelines while this civil war happens. This is an incredible depiction of a belief I've long had: People in the United States do not give a shit about problems that don't get in the way of them living their day-to-day lives. Rugged individualism is a core value of this country (and most others for that matter) whether we like to admit it or not, so of course the people in the places where there's not corpses, charred vehicles and decimated roads as far as the eye can see aren't invested in the lives of the people who died there or those that have to continue to live in those conditions. The devaluing of human life is a key part of any war campaign and until that belief stops being instilled so strongly during times of peace; these vicious cycles of violence will never stop.

As for the actual moments of combat depicted in Civil War, they serve as this kind of dread-filled finale to the relentlessly disturbing house of horrors Garland is taking the viewer through as each war sequence is designed to be a super visceral, unexpected burst of violence. Every round of gunfire and explosion hits like a shock to system (the sound design does an outstanding job of making these things sound horrific). The ugliness and brute force that the loss of life causes is felt to the fullest extent. Even when a "victory" has been declared, the only emotion being conjured up is the repulsion stemming from all the senseless, horrific acts of violence that were just committed. In terms of conveying an anti-war message through action, few films have done it with more unsettling force and potency than Civil War.        

Civil War is a film that demands to be chewed on and will be interpreted a million different ways depending on the individual's perspective. As nauseating as some of the discourse has already proven to be, it's great that a film operates in enough shades of gray to provide so many varying reads on its themes and messaging. Garland was the perfect creative to deliver such a divisive film that operates in such a tricky space, and I urge people to check this movie out to reach their own conclusions instead of just reading a couple of takes about it online and treating them as gospel.                                              

Grade: B+

Monday, April 15, 2024

2024 NFL Mock Draft (4/15)

1.Chicago Bears: Caleb Williams, quarterback (USC)

2.Washington Commanders: Jayden Daniels, quarterback (LSU)

3.New England Patriots: Drake Maye, quarterback (North Carolina)

4.Arizona Cardinals: Marvin Harrison Jr., wide receiver (Ohio State)

5.Los Angeles Chargers: Malik Nabers, wide receiver (LSU)

6.New York Giants: Rome Odunze, wide receiver (Washington)

7.Tennessee Titans: Joe Alt, tackle (Notre Dame)

8.Atlanta Falcons: Dallas Turner, edge rusher (Alabama)

9.Chicago Bears: Jared Verse, edge rusher (Florida State)

10.New York Jets: Brock Bowers, tight end (Georgia) 

11.Minnesota Vikings: J.J. McCarthy, quarterback (Michigan)

12.Denver Broncos: Michael Penix Jr., quarterback (Washington)

13.Las Vegas Raiders: Quinyon Mitchell, cornerback (Toledo) 

14.New Orleans Saints: Olu Fashanu, tackle (Penn State) 

15.Indianapolis Colts: Terrion Arnold, cornerback (Alabama)

16.Seattle Seahawks: Troy Fautanu, tackle/guard (Washington)

17.Jacksonville Jaguars: Tailese Fuaga, tackle/guard (Oregon State)

18.Cincinnati Bengals: Cooper DeJean, cornerback/safety (Iowa) 

19.Los Angeles Rams: Byron Murphy II, defensive tackle (Texas)

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Nate Wiggins, cornerback (Clemson)

21.Miami Dolphins: Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon)

22.Philadelphia Eagles: Graham Barton, tackle/guard (Duke)

23.Minnesota Vikings: Laitu Latu, edge rusher (UCLA) 

24.Dallas Cowboys: Amarius Mims, tackle (Georgia)

25.Green Bay Packers: JC Latham, tackle (Alabama)

26.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

27.Arizona Cardinals: Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois) 

28.Buffalo Bills: Brian Thomas Jr., wide receiver (LSU)

29.Detroit Lions: Kamari Lassiter, cornerback (Georgia)

30.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Morgan, tackle (Arizona)

31.San Francisco 49ers: Kingsley Suamataia, tackle (BYU) 

32.Kansas City Chiefs: Adonai Mitchell, wide receiver (Texas)

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Jesse Eisenberg Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a filmography or franchise from worst to best and hand out assorted superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Jesse Eisenberg-whose latest project "Sasquatch Sunset" releases in select theaters today and expands wide next week. 

Jesse Eisenberg's Filmography Ranked:

19.The Village (D+)

18.Wild Indian (C-)

17.The Hummingbird Project (C)

16.Rio (B-)

15.Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-)

14.30 Minutes or Less (B-)

13.Cafe Society (B)

12.Justice League (B)

11.The End of the Tour (B)

10.The Art of Self-Defense (B)

9.Adventureland (B)

8.Zack Snyder's Justice League (B)

7.The Squid and the Whale (B)

6.American Ultra (B+)

5.Now You See Me (B+)

4.Now You See Me 2 (B+)

3.Zombieland: Double Tap (A)

2.The Social Network (A)

1.Zombieland (A)

Top Dog: Zombieland (2009)

The root of Zombieland's success is simple: Put four well-matched actors playing polar opposite characters together (Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin) and let them mine situational comedy gold in a zombie apocalypse setting. Throw in some heart, moments of over-the-top gore and one of the greatest, most unexpected cameos in movie history from Bill Murray as himself and you have a classic zomcom that will continue to stand the test of time.      

Bottom Feeder: The Village (2004)

I've developed at least some form of appreciation for the bulk of M. Night Shyamalan's filmography in recent years. One of the only films of his that I hated when I was younger that I continue to view in a harshly negative light today is The Village. Outside of the reveal of its loopy plot twist at the beginning of the third act, the film proves to be a massive bore as Shyamalan struggles to build the rich gothic horror atmosphere he's aiming for, and Bryce Dallas Howard flounders in her first-ever lead role with what remains by far the most wooden performance of her career.         

Most Underrated: American Ultra (2015)

It's so fucking cool that Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart took a break from their typical quiet indie collaborations to play a couple in a degenerate B-movie. American Ultra is a hyperactive yet almost always cohesive genre stew that manages to stay on the rails thanks to a group of actors (joining the well-acquainted leads on this journey are the likes of Topher Grace, Connie Britton, Tony Hale, Walton Goggins, Bill Pullman and John Leguizamo) who are always fully in sync with its anarchic frequency and an energy level from director Nima Nourizadeh (Project X) that never dips below an 11/10.     

Most Overrated: None

There isn't a single film of Eisenberg's that I've seen that was even a halfway viable contender for this honor. The Social Network is one of the most towering achievements in David Fincher's incredible filmography. Both Now You See Me films are some of the purest examples of dumb fun blockbusters that Hollywood has released in recent memory. Despite the comical indulgence of its 4-hour runtime, Zack Snyder's Justice League is a compelling, sometimes exceptional superhero epic that I have a ton of respect for. Even indie titles like The End of the Tour and The Art of Self-Defense that I view as merely good movies aren't hyped up nearly enough to qualify for this camp. How much longer can Eisenberg keep this streak up? Beats me, but hopefully forever.        

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Movie Review: Monkey Man


At a time where headlines about how the Hollywood studio system is failing creatives pop up just about every week, it's a pleasant surprise when a story about them doing the opposite comes out. Dev Patel's Monkey Man is one of those rare times where a studio came to the aid of a project that had become a casualty of this cruel, unjust industry. Monkey Man was picked up by Netflix after it wrapped production in March 2021 and for a number of reasons including reported fears over backlash from the Indian government over the film's political commentary, it sat idly in the streaming giant's increasingly large library of completed works awaiting release. 

Earlier this year, a guardian angel arrived in the form of Jordan Peele. He had the opportunity to see the film and was so impressed it with that he convinced Universal-with whom his production company Monkeypaw has a first look deal with-to acquire it from Netflix and give it a global theatrical release. Just over 3 years after production ended, Monkey Man made its way to cinema screens in the United States and after all of the agony and misfortune that Patel endured while trying to get the film out into the world, he should be beaming with pride that his great directorial debut ended up getting the release it deserved. 

Monkey Man is Patel's way of announcing to the world that he's an action star AND a filmmaker. In telling this tale of a young man whose been figuratively and literally beaten down by the injustices of the Indian caste system who slowly transforms from being motivated by inflicting violent revenge on the powerful people that killed his mother to a fighter for all of the underdogs that have been exploited or tormented by the ruling class, he establishes himself as a strong creative voice that is uncompromising in bringing their vision to life and willing to stray from what's expected from the genre. He displays a ton of restraint by making a revenge actioner that goes long stretches without any bodies dropping as it follows the protagonist's evolution and the unforeseen setbacks in his plan that made it possible. The action sequences that are heavily influenced by the bone-crunching brutality of genre films from South Korea and Indonesia make the most out of the film's limited budget by crafting scenes that favor ingenuity over scale, which leads to a whole lot of brutal close quarters fighting with improvised weapons that perfectly embody the film's scrappy underdog spirit. The camera moves with precision through temples, open-air markets and dingy nightclubs run by really evil people and every cut has real gravity and purpose behind it. Patel isn't quite there as a storyteller yet as the social commentary elements of Monkey Man's script are a bit muddled and underdeveloped, but his feel and passion for the craft of action filmmaking is among the strongest we've seen in a directorial debut since John Wick nearly a decade ago.

Clearly, I have no way of knowing what Patel wants to do next in his career. Monkey Man's long journey to the screen kept him away from acting in anything else for a while, so maybe he just wants to focus on being in front of the camera and cashing in on some less stressful paychecks for the time being. But if/when he elects to direct again, I'll be extremely excited to see what he does. It takes a whole lot of talent to make such an assured, endearing first film and may Patel be able to find the support he didn't initially get on Monkey Man from the jump on his next outing.                    

Grade: B+

Monday, April 8, 2024

2024 NFL Mock Draft (4/8)

1.Chicago Bears: Caleb Williams, quarterback (USC)

2.Washington Commanders: Jayden Daniels, quarterback (LSU)

3.New England Patriots: Drake Maye, quarterback (North Carolina)

4.Arizona Cardinals: Marvin Harrison Jr., wide receiver (Ohio State) 

5.Los Angeles Chargers: Malik Nabers, wide receiver (LSU)

6.New York Giants: Rome Odunze, wide receiver (Washington)

7.Tennessee Titans: Joe Alt, tackle (Notre Dame)

8.Atlanta Falcons: Dallas Turner, edge rusher (Alabama)

9.Chicago Bears: Jared Verse, edge rusher (Florida State)

10.New York Jets: Brock Bowers, tight end (Georgia) 

11.Minnesota Vikings: J.J. McCarthy, quarterback (Michigan) 

12.Denver Broncos: Michael Penix Jr., quarterback (Washington)

13.Las Vegas Raiders: Quinyon Mitchell, cornerback (Toledo)

14.New Orleans Saints: Tailese Fuaga, tackle/guard (Oregon State) 

15.Indianapolis Colts: Terrion Arnold, cornerback (Alabama)

16.Seattle Seahawks: Troy Fautanu, tackle/guard (Washington)

17.Jacksonville Jaguars: Olu Fashanu, tackle (Penn State) 

18.Cincinnati Bengals: JC Latham, tackle (Alabama) 

19.Los Angeles Rams: Byron Murphy II, defensive tackle (Texas) 

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Cooper DeJean, cornerback/safety (Iowa) 

21.Miami Dolphins: Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon) 

22.Philadelphia Eagles: Nate Wiggins, cornerback (Clemson)

23.Minnesota Vikings: Laitu Latu, edge rusher (UCLA) 

24.Dallas Cowboys: Amarius Mims, tackle (Georgia)

25.Green Bay Packers: Tyler Guyton, tackle (Oklahoma) 

26.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

27.Arizona Cardinals: Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois) 

28.Buffalo Bills: Brian Thomas Jr., wide receiver (LSU)

29.Detroit Lions: T.J. Tampa, cornerback (Iowa State) 

30.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Morgan, tackle (Arizona)

31.San Francisco 49ers: Graham Barton, tackle/guard (Duke)

32.Kansas City Chiefs: Adonai Mitchell, wide receiver (Texas) 

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Ralph Ineson Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Ralph Ineson-whose latest project "The First Omen" releases in theaters tonight. 

Ralph Ineson's Filmography Ranked:

14.The Hurricane Heist (C)

13.The Green Knight (C)

12.First Knight (C+)

11.To Catch a Killer (B-)

10.Robin Hood (B-)

9.The Pope's Exorcist (B-)

8.The Creator (B-)

7.Ready Player One (B-)

6.The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (B)

5.Gunpowder Milkshake (B)

4.The Witch (B)

3.The Northman (B+)

2.Kingsman: The Secret Service (A-)

1.Guardians of the Galaxy (A)

Top Dog: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

As we approach the 10-year anniversary of Guardians of the Galaxy, it's crazy to consider just how massive its impact has been. Not only was James Gunn able to turn himself into the most impactful filmmaker in the superhero genre and jumpstart Chris Pratt's evolution from scene-stealing sitcom star to reliable blockbuster anchor, Guardians made heartfelt, humor-filled stories of misfits with checkered pasts full of unshakeable grief who find family for the first time in each other a formula that has been pretty widely copied with varying degrees of success. Other superhero movies have made more money and spawned more celebrated villains, action sequences, etc., but almost nothing in the genre can match the impact Guardians made with its character-driven approach in a space that often puts little-to-no value on such a thing.     

Bottom Feeder: The Hurrican Heist (2018)

The brief run Byron Allen's Entertainment Studios had as a theatrical movie distributor was awesome because their business model mostly consisted of buying random indie productions that could pass off as blockbusters from prior decades. Nothing exemplifies this philosophy better than a little movie called The Hurricane Heist. Watching several British character actors (Toby Kebbell, Ineson, the late Ben Cross) team up with a pair of performers best known for being the 10th billed member of the primary cast on a long-running ensemble television series (Maggie Grace, Ryan Kwanten) for a disaster heist movie that alternates between being a fun bad and legitimately bad movie is certainly something that I won't forget. And in this age of increasingly disposable media consumption, any form of memorability is valuable.       

Most Underrated: Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)

Quietly arriving on Netflix in July 2021 after having its planned theatrical release via STX (RIP) disrupted by the pandemic, Gunpowder Milkshake is a fun assassin action comedy that deserved better. The high energy fight scenes are full of refreshingly unique ideas/settings (A big bowling alley brawl! Hammer fights! Karen Gillan fighting goons in an office chair with paralyzed arms!), the noirish cinematography from Michael Seresin is gorgeous and Paul Giamatti crushes his first opportunity to step back into the cartoonish action movie villain arena since his legendary turn in Shoot 'Em Up.   

Most Overrated: The Green Knight (2021)

This is a tricky one to critique since it's a film that is really well-made, ambitious and awesome to look at. However, The Green Knight never quite comes together as its not atmospheric or hypnotic enough to work as a fever dream nor mystical or grand enough to work as a more straightforward piece of Arthurian folklore. 

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Movie Review: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire


Some genius over at Legendary cracked the code to the MonsterVerse after audiences were sharply divided on Gareth Edwards' Godzilla a decade ago. Their philosophy is a simple one: What if we made movies that were centered around the monsters instead of the humans? What a perfect, elegant solution to the biggest problem with Edwards' film (to be fair, the Michael Doughetry-helmed 2019 sequel Godzilla: King of the Monsters was also too human-centric). Since this philosophy was employed, these movies (save for King of the Monsters) have gotten bigger, sillier and extremely fun. The latest MonsterVerse entry Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire extends the franchise's winning streak since leaning into the singular entertainment power that its titular character possess.        

What's really awesome about nearly every creative choice that director Adam Wingard-who returns to the series after helming Godzilla vs. Kong-makes here is that's in service of making the biggest, most absurd movie possible. Dan Stevens gets introduced as an eccentric, Hawiian-shirt wearing Titan veterinarian who quickly becomes embedded with the returning team of humans from the previous film (Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, Kaylee Hottle) There's the use of an expansive, often vibrant color palette that changes dramatically depending on the specifics of the environment depicted. All of the fight scenes are filled with wild shit like Kong using a smaller monkey as an improvised melee weapon, Godzilla suplexing Kong into one of the Giza Pyramids and an entire sequence set in a zero-gravity environment where an entire swarm of monsters are beating the snot out of each other in mid-air. To some people, this dedication to all things flashy and over-the-top will be unappealing, if not nauseating. For others, it'll usher in a parade of smiles, cheers and audible sounds of euphoric glee that reminds them of why they fell in love with these characters or possibly even the entire artform of movies in the first place (take a wild guess which camp I reside in). Wingard has found a way to direct blockbusters with the same degree of giddiness and playfulness that he brought to the microbudgeted genre movie that he started out his career making (You're Next, The Guest) and in an era where filmmaking on this scale has become so largely devoid of personality, it's a joy to witness somebody behind the camera that has such an infectious love for the craft.         

Really the only thing stopping The New Empire from being the most fun movie to come out in like 6 months is a relatively slow second act that favors exposition dumps over spectacle. And in terms of things that can go wrong with a movie, that's a pretty damn mild flaw that will do nothing to dissuade from me wanting to see at least a half dozen more adventures of Godzilla and Kong slamming the shit out of each other and the hostile monsters that seek to destroy them. Let's keep these good kaiju times rolling Legendary and Warner Brothers. We need them now possibly more than ever before.       

Grade: B+

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

2024 NFL Draft: Top 25 Prospects Available

The NFL Draft begins 23 days from today, which means that I've been hard at "work" diving into this crop of players over the past several weeks. So far, my biggest takeaways are that this receiver class has the potential to be one of the most special in league history, this quarterback class could prove to have an even higher flameout rate than 2021 and the cornerback and tackle positions are being somewhat undervalued because of the depth they possess. Here are my picks for the 25 prospects with the most potential to succeed at the NFL level at this stage of the evaluation process.     

Still Need to Evaluate: JC Latham, Troy Fautanu, Amarius Mims, Tyler Guyton, Jordan Morgan, Chris Braswell, Kamari Lassiter, Zach Frazier, Keon Coleman, Kingsley Suamataia, Jonah Elliss, Xavier Legette, Ruke Orhorhoro, Michael Pratt, Brenden Rice, Kris Jenkins, Adisa Issac, Jaden Hicks, Jermaine Burton, Christian Haynes, Bralen Trice, Khyree Jackson, Marshawn Kneeland, Kiran Amegadjie, Jordan Travis, Kamren Kinchens, Jeremiah Trotter Jr., Ja'Lynn Polk, Jalen McMillan, Bucky Irving, Andru Phillips, Austin Booker, Johnny Wilson, Malachi Corley, Edgerrin Cooper, T'Vondre Sweat, Blake Fisher, Gabriel Murphy, Max Melton, Brandon Dorlus, Javon Baker, Junior Colson, Erick All, Ray Davis, Audric Estime, Renardo Green, Sendrick Van Pran, Christian Mahogany, Jamari Thrash, Calen Bullock, Cade Stover, Jacob Cowing

1.Marvin Harrison Jr., wide receiver (Ohio State) 

2.Joe Alt, tackle (Notre Dame)

3.Rome Odunze, wide receiver (Washington)

4.Malik Nabers, wide receiver (LSU)

5.Cooper DeJean, cornerback (Iowa)

6.Drake Maye, quarterback (North Carolina)

7.Dallas Turner, edge rusher (Alabama)

8.Laiatu Latu, edge rusher (UCLA)

9.Brock Bowers, tight end (Georgia)

10.Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois) 

11.Olu Fashanu, tackle (Penn State)

12.Tailese Fuaga, tackle/guard (Oregon State)

13.Jared Verse, edge rusher (Florida State)

14.Terrion Arnold, cornerback (Alabama)

15.Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon)

16.Quinyon Mitchell, cornerback (Toledo)

17.Caleb Williams, quarterback (USC)

18.Brian Thomas Jr., wide receiver (LSU)

19.Tyler Nubin, safety (Minnesota)

20.Troy Franklin, wide receiver (Oregon)

21.Jayden Daniels, quarterback (LSU)

22.Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

23.Graham Barton, tackle/guard (Duke)

24.Ladd McConkey, wide receiver (Georgia)

25.Mike Sainristill, cornerback (Michigan)         

Monday, April 1, 2024

2024 NFL Mock Draft (4/1)

1.Chicago Bears: Caleb Williams, quarterback (USC)

2.Washington Commanders: Jayden Daniels, quarterback (LSU)

3.New England Patriots: Drake Maye, quarterback (North Carolina) 

4.Arizona Cardinals: Marvin Harrison Jr., wide receiver (Ohio State) 

5.Los Angeles Chargers: Malik Nabers, wide receiver (LSU) 

6.New York Giants: Rome Odunze, wide receiver (Washington)

7.Tennessee Titans: Joe Alt, tackle (Notre Dame)

8.Atlanta Falcons: Dallas Turner, edge rusher (Alabama) 

9.Chicago Bears: Jared Verse, edge rusher (Florida State) 

10.New York Jets: Tailese Fuaga, tackle/guard (Oregon State)

11.Minnesota Vikings: J.J. McCarthy, quarterback (Michigan)

12.Denver Broncos: Michael Penix Jr., quarterback (Washington)

13.Las Vegas Raiders: Quinyon Mitchell, cornerback (Toledo)

14.New Orleans Saints: Olu Fashanu, tackle (Penn State) 

15.Indianapolis Colts: Cooper DeJean, cornerback (Iowa)

16.Seattle Seahawks: Troy Fautanu, tackle/guard (Washington)

17.Jacksonville Jaguars: JC Latham, tackle (Alabama)

18.Cincinnati Bengals: Brock Bowers, tight end (Georgia)

19.Los Angeles Rams: Byron Murphy II, defensive tackle (Texas)

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Terrion Arnold, cornerback (Alabama)

21.Miami Dolphins: Jackson Powers-Johnson, center (Oregon)

22.Philadelphia Eagles: Nate Wiggins, cornerback (Clemson)

23.Minnesota Vikings: Laiatu Latu, edge rusher (UCLA)

24.Dallas Cowboys: Amarius Mims, tackle (Georgia)

25.Green Bay Packers: Tyler Guyton, tackle (Oklahoma)

26.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kool-Aid McKinstry, cornerback (Alabama)

27.Arizona Cardinals: Johnny Newton, defensive tackle (Illinois) 

28.Buffalo Bills: Brian Thomas Jr., wide receiver (LSU)

29.Detroit Lions: T.J. Tampa, cornerback (Iowa State)

30.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Morgan, tackle (Arizona)

31.San Francisco 49ers: Graham Barton, tackle/guard (Duke)

32.Kansas City Chiefs: Adonai Mitchell, wide receiver (Texas)

Thursday, March 28, 2024

2024 NFL Free Agency Recap: Winners and Losers, Best and Worst Deals and Best Players Still Available

Biggest Winners: Tennessee Titans

There are plenty of valid criticisms of the Titans ultra-aggressive approach to free agency. For starters, investing so much in an offense that is being led by a quarterback in Will Levis who was mediocre at best during his 9 starts as a rookie could prove to be a completely worthless exercise. Then, there's the issue of whether or not it was wise to hand-out big contracts to Calvin Ridley-who turns 30 in December and is coming off an up-and-down year with the Jags and Lloyd Cushenberry III-who was a pretty terrible starting center for the Broncos prior to his strong contract year performance in 2023. While investing so heavily in risky contracts and an unproven quarterback who has the potential to get ousted from the job if he plays poorly this season since he wasn't a 1st round pick carries a whole lot of risk, they deserve credit for having the conviction to aggressively invest in a roster that was full of holes and providing new head coach Brian Callahan with a real shot to compete right away.

As for the rest of their splashier moves, it's easy to get excited about what they did. Adding a pair of proven veteran corners in L'Jarius Sneed and Chidobe Awuzie should go a long way in improving a pass defense that has consistently been among the worst in the league over the past few seasons, Tony Pollard's burst should provide a great complement to the power of Tyjae Spears in their backfield and ex-Chargers Sebastian Joseph-Day and Kenneth Murray are intriguing reclamation project candidates who could turn into solid contributors once they get the Bolt stench off of them.        

Honorable Mentions: Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions

Biggest Losers: Washington Commanders

Heading into the offseason, every NFL media outlet, national talking head show and local sports radio broadcast was quick to point out that the Commanders had the most cap space in the NFL. This was a particularly exciting development as it was the first opportunity new owner Josh Harris and his recently-hired GM Adam Peters had to truly establish a new identity for a team after decades of being held back by Dan Snyder's gross ineptitude. In my eyes at least, the new regime failed miserably to make a good first impression. Nearly every signing felt like it was made because of a past history with HC Dan Quinn (Tyler Biadasz, Bobby Wagner, Dorance Armstrong, Dante Fowler) or they were trying to buy low on guys coming off bad years that have previously enjoyed success in the league (Austin Ekeler, Jeremy Chinn, Michael Davis). How does this specific crop of players meaningfully change to the trajectory of one of the most miserably untalented rosters in the league is on the horizon?  How are these guys (with the notable exception of proven, beloved leader Wagner) going to help establish a winning culture for their rookie QB to thrive in (by the way, good job bringing in Marcus "I left the team once I got benched for Desmond Ridder" Mariota as the bridge QB guys)? They're going to have really nail the draft to change the perception that this anything other than maddening business as usual in DC.          

Dishonorable Mentions: Dallas Cowboys, Los Angeles Chargers, Carolina Panthers 

A Class That Would Be Fine If It Were Another Team: New York Jets

To be fair to all parties involved, I understand why the Jets have approached this offseason the way that they have. Joe Douglas and Robert Saleh are hanging onto their jobs by the thinnest of threads and they gave up too many assets last season to be anything but fully committed to trying to win with 40-year old Aaron Rodgers under center. This is a situation where patience cannot be practiced and making splashy, impulsive moves with the aim of helping the team win now have to be executed. 

If this were a lot of other organizations, I would be applauding them for spending their 2024 free agency period signing some talented but oft-injured players to 1-year deals (Tyron Smith, Mike Williams), trading for a reliable starting right tackle in Morgan Moses, adding depth to their defensive line (Javon Kinlaw, Leki Fotu), getting a proven veteran in Tyrod Taylor to backup Rodgers and addressing their interior offensive line with the signing of a young guard in John Simpson who is coming off a breakout season with the Ravens. The problem is that the Jets were the ones who made these moves, so the potential for disaster that exists with all of them have an extremely high chance of manifesting. 

Williams and Smith vs. the MetLife turf is going to be one of the greatest battles we've seen on a football field if they can make it through training camp without getting banged up. Simpson will probably regress to the below average player he was with the Raiders. After about a decade straight of solid play, Moses will suddenly turn into Marshall Newhouse. Hell, Rodgers might have a great conversation with the ghost of Eli Whitney in a bamboo shack in Belize this summer that convinces him to retire and leave Taylor as the starter. Light a candle and pray to Joe Namath Jets fans because this shit could get real ugly, real quick.           

Best Individual Signing: Kendall Fuller to the Dolphins (2 years/$15 mil/$7.5 mil guaranteed) 

Cap restrictions came down hard on the Dolphins this offseason as they were forced to let guys like Christian Wilkins, Andrew Van Ginkel and Robert Hunt walk in free agency and cut several longtime starters including Xavien Howard, Emmanuel Ogbah and Jerome Baker to get their books back in order. Being able to replace Howard with Fuller softens the blow of this tough offseason a little bit. Fuller is a reliable playmaker on the outside who rarely gets exploited in coverage and the prospects of him slotting into a #2 outside CB role where he (presumably) will face lesser WR's could make him even more productive than he has been over the past few years in Washington when he was the top dog.   

Honorable Mentions: Mike Onwenu Re-Signing with the Patriots, Marquise Brown to the Chiefs, Tre'Davious White to the Rams

Worst Individual Signing: Kirk Cousins to the Falcons (4 years/$180 mil/$100 mil guaranteed)

First off, shoutout to Cousins' agent. Getting your client a multi-year deal worth at least $100 mil just over four months after he tore his Achillies at age 35 is one of the greatest hustles in the history of sports. As for the Falcons, offering a deal with that much term and cash attached to it is pure degenerate behavior. Everybody in the league knows this team is a quarterback away from being good and they're obviously desperate to cash in on all of the untapped potential they've displayed since Matt Ryan got booted out of town following the 2021 season, but treating a limited athlete who is about to turn 36 and just ripped up his Achillies as your guaranteed savior is a needlessly reckless move that could backfire in extraordinary fashion.        

Dishonorable Mentions: Gabe Davis to the Jaguars, D'Andre Swift to the Bears, Patrick Queen to the Steelers

Best Player Still Available: Stephon Gilmore, cornerback

While he might not be in Defensive Player of the Year form anymore, Gilmore is coming off another good year with the Cowboys (62 tackles/2 INT's/13 passes defensed/55.8 CMP%) and would be a great addition for any team that's looking to lock down a quality starter at outside corner for the next year or two. 

Honorable Mentions: Julian Blackmon, safety, Justin Simmons, safety, Connor Williams, center 

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Movie Review: Road House (2024)

 

Remaking Road House is a uniquely difficult undertaking. The 1989 meathead action cult classic has such a specific flavor of period-era camp coursing through its veins that the vast majority of the attempts to recapture it would come off as either insincere or obnoxiously ironic. It's the kind of fine-tuned, turn-your-brain off movie that can only be made by people who have a deep understanding of the fine art of unapologetic idiocy. After many false starts over many years, a Road House remake finally materialized with Doug Liman behind the camera and Jake Gyllenhaal playing the role of famed drifter/bouncer/lethal ass-kicker Dalton that was made famous by the late Patrick Swayze. So, did they crack the code of Road House or fail spectacularly trying? Quite frankly, neither.

Road House' 24 is often fun on its own terms. Gyllenhaal is a hoot as a soft-spoken, affable guy who is capable of laying down ruthless beatdowns when called upon, Liman's direction is sufficiently energetic, and the plethora of fight scenes have visceral choreography and pretty solid editing. But as a reimaging of Road House, it's only somewhat successful because it doesn't commit hard enough to modernizing the original film's signature aesthetic. The pendulum between perfect homages (the villainous turns by Billy Magnussen as the slimeball crime boss looking to intimidate the owner of the titular bar-played by Jessica Williams-into selling him the property and Conor McGregor as the cocky, swaggering psycho that is hired to kill Dalton once several local goons fail to, its usage of hilarious corny one-liners, the first fight scene with McGregor's character where the band keeps playing while a full-blown brawl breaks out at the bar) and baffling betrayals (the use of CGI to speed up nearly every fight scene, extended periods where the material is either too serious or intentionally comedic, an appalling lack of t***** r***) swings back and forth so frequently it just about swings off its pivot. 

What makes this whole constantly shifting up-and-down quality of the reboot particularly frustrating is that it regularly displays a firm understanding of what made the original so special while simultaneously establishing its own goofy voice. That's the exact kind of energy that this entire movie needed to truly thrive, but for whatever reason, Liman was eager to keep trying other things out. Save that for a more ambitious affair Mr. Liman, this is a fucking Road House remake! You were somehow able to find the right tone for one of the most singular pieces of cinema ever willed into existence then decided to regularly stray away from it just for shits? That's a pretty brutal fumble out of the back of the endzone and while his team was still able to squeak out a win, I won't forget just how damn close they were to turning Road House into a statement victory.                       

Grade: B