2021 NBA Free Agency: Top 10 Players Available

Fresh off last night's draft, NBA fans won't have to wait much longer for more roster-changing action as the legal free agent tampering period officially begins on Monday afternoon at 4 PM EST. Here are the 10 players that I believe are the best available in this year's class. 

(Note: Since there's basically zero chance he leaves the Suns, Chris Paul has been excluded from inclusion here)

10.Victor Oladipo, shooting guard (2020-21 teams: Indiana Pacers/Houston Rockets/Miami Heat)

Having faith in Oladipo's ability to stay healthy at this point in his career is definitely a bit naïve, but he's too deadly of a scorer and strong of a leader to have his value completely written off. Taking a shot on him on a 1-2 year deal for short money would be a savvy dice roll for just about any team to make.

Possible Destinations: Miami Heat, Phoenix Suns, Los Angeles Lakers, Brooklyn Nets, Denver Nuggets, Milwaukee Bucks, Los Angeles Clippers, Utah Jazz, Memphis Grizzlies, Portland Trail Blazers, Chicago Bulls, Boston Celtics

9.Jarret Allen, center (2020-21 teams: Brooklyn Nets/Cleveland Cavaliers)

The 23-year old Allen is tracking to be a solid Myles Turner-type center who specializes in blocking shots, pulling down around 10 rebounds per game and scoring in and around the paint with some floaters and agile post moves, but also can let it rip from outside from time to time. While that skill set isn't exactly the most valuable thing in the world when you have guys like Joel Embiid, Nikola Jokic and Anthony Davis regularly taking over games at that position, it's certainly enough to get him a decent sized contract on a team that's looking for a respectable starting center that has yet to hit his ceiling.

Possible Destinations: Cleveland Cavaliers, Charlotte Hornets, San Antonio Spurs, Boston Celtics, Denver Nuggets, Orlando Magic, Oklahoma City Thunder

8.Denis Schroder, point guard (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Lakers)

Ugly playoff performances aside, Schroder's season with the Lakers was a very successful one that demonstrated the value he provides as a scoring-first point guard who can effortlessly slot in as a starter or sixth man.

Possible Destinations: Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Clippers, New York Knicks, Chicago Bulls, Orlando Magic, Boston Celtics, Dallas Mavericks 

7.Norman Powell, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 teams: Toronto Raptors/Portland Trail Blazers)

A defensive pest with a deceptively strong scoring touch (16.0+ PPG, 49+ FG%, 39+ 3P% over the past 2 seasons) and 73 playoff games (including a championship in 2018-19) under his belt in just 6 NBA seasons, Powell is the most valuable role player available in a class that's overflowing with them.

Possible Destinations: Portland Trail Blazers, San Antonio Spurs, Memphis Grizzlies, Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Clippers, Phoenix Suns 

6.Demar DeRozan, shooting guard (2020-21 team: San Antonio Spurs)

A mid range scoring specialist with the passing skills of a point guard and a borderline refusal to shoot from beyond the arc makes DeRozan a relic in the modern NBA that wouldn't fit in with most teams. However, for those small number of teams that don't favor ripping 3's on nearly every possession, he should be a coveted piece that will greatly improve their offensive efficiency.  

Possible Destinations: New York Knicks, Dallas Mavericks New Orleans Pelicans, Philadelphia 76ers, Minnesota Timberwolves, Chicago Bulls

5.Kyle Lowry, point guard (2020-21 team: Toronto Raptors)

The 35-year old Lowry seems destined to exit his longtime home in Toronto-who appear to be entering a soft rebuild after missing the playoffs last season and find an immediate contender to play out his final years in the league with. He might not have the scoring touch that he once he did, but his defensive tenacity, terrific passing and wealth of playoff experience make him very appealing to any contending team that's in need of a hard-nosed point guard.

Possible Destinations: Miami Heat, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Clippers, New York Knicks, Philadelphia 76ers, Utah Jazz, New Orleans Pelicans

4.Mike Conley, point guard (2020-21 team: Utah Jazz)

Like Lowry, Conley is a smart, grizzled veteran floor general entering his twilight years in the league that would be a great piece for a contending team to add. The only differences between the two is that Conley is a year younger and boasts a more lethal shooting touch-particularly from outside where he posted a career high 41.2% mark this past season, which in turn makes him a slightly more intriguing option than Lowry.  

Possible Destinations: Utah Jazz, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat, Los Angeles Clippers, Philadelphia 76ers 

3.Lonzo Ball, point guard (2020-21 team: New Orleans Pelicans)

Any team in the hunt for Ben Simmons may want to consider going after Ball instead. While he's a bit shorter than the current 76ers point guard (6'6 opposed to 6'10), he's a similarly prolific passer and stout defender that has actually managed to improved his shooting from both the field and free throw line to the point (41.4 FG%, 37.8 3P%, 78.1 FT% in 2020-21) where he's no longer a crippling liability that needs to be pulled off the floor in crunchtime situations.    

Possible Destinations: New Orleans Pelicans, Chicago Bulls, Toronto Raptors, Boston Celtics, Utah Jazz, New York Knicks, San Antonio Spurs

2.John Collins, power forward/center (2020-21 team: Atlanta Hawks)

Questions about his effort and tendency to disappear for long stretches of games will definitely scare some teams away from giving Collins the $100 mil+ deal he's seeking. However, 6'9 freak athletes who can swat shots at the rim, shoot a high percentage from outside (around 40% in back-to-back seasons) and go off for 20+ points any given night are an incredibly rare breed and at only 23, he's still very far away from being a finished product.  

Possible Destinations: Atlanta Hawks, Dallas Mavericks, San Antonio Spurs, Miami Heat, 

1.Kawhi Leonard, small forward (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Clippers)

While Kawhi isn't overly likely to leave the Clippers, other teams that have the cap space will have to at least flirt with making a push for the 30-year old superstar when free agency starts. Even with his durability concerns, he remains one of the league's most dominant two way players and should have at least another few years left of star-caliber play ahead of him.

Possible Destinations: Los Angeles Clippers, New York Knicks, Dallas Mavericks 

Other Notable Free Agents:

Alec Burks, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: New York Knicks)

Alex Caruso, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Lakers)

Andre Drummond, center (2020-21 teams: Cleveland Cavaliers/Los Angeles Lakers)

Austin Rivers, point/shooting guard (2020-21 teams: New York Knicks/Denver Nuggets)

Bismack Biyombo, center (2020-21 team: Charlotte Hornets)

Blake Griffin, power forward (2020-21 teams: Detroit Pistons/Brooklyn Nets)

Bobby Portis, power forward/center (2020-21 team: Milwaukee Bucks)

Bruce Brown, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Brooklyn Nets)

Bryn Forbes, shooting guard (2020-21 team: Milwaukee Bucks)

Cameron Payne, point guard (2020-21 team: Phoenix Suns)

Carmelo Anthony, small forward (2020-21 team: Portland Trail Blazers)

Cody Zeller, center (2020-21 team: Charlotte Hornets)

Daniel Theis, power forward/center (2020-21 teams: Boston Celtics/Chicago Bulls)

Danny Green, shooting guard (2020-21 team: Philadelphia 76ers)

Derrick Rose, point guard (2020-21 teams: Detroit Pistons/New York Knicks)

Devonte' Graham, point/shooting guard (2020-21 team: Charlotte Hornets)

Doug McDermott, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Indiana Pacers)

Duncan Robinson, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Miami Heat)

Dwight Howard, center (2020-21 team: Philadelphia 76ers)

Elfrid Payton, point guard (2020-21 team: New York Knicks)

Enes Kanter, center (2020-21 team: Portland Trail Blazers)

Et'uwan Moore, shooting guard (2020-21 team: Phoenix Suns)

Evan Fournier, shooting guard (2020-21 teams: Orlando Magic/Boston Celtics)

Frank Kaminsky, power forward (2020-21 teams: Sacramento Kings/Phoenix Suns)

Furkan Korkmaz, small forward (2020-21 team: Philadelphia 76ers)

Gary Trent Jr., shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 teams: Portland Trail Blazers/Toronto Raptors)

Hassan Whiteside, center (2020-21 team: Sacramento Kings)

Ish Smith, point guard (2020-21 team: Washington Wizards)

JaMychal Green, small/power forward (2020-21 team: Denver Nuggets)

JaVale McGee, center (2020-21 teams: Cleveland Cavaliers/Denver Nuggets)

Jeff Green, small/power forward (2020-21 team: Brooklyn Nets)

J.J. Redick, shooting guard (2020-21 teams: New Orleans Pelicans/Dallas Mavericks)

Jordan Bell, power forward/center (2020-21 teams: Golden State Warriors)

Josh Hart, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: New Orleans Pelicans)

Josh Richardson, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Dallas Mavericks)

Lauri Markannen, power forward (2020-21 team: Chicago Bulls)

Lou Williams, shooting guard (2020-21 teams: Los Angeles Clippers/Atlanta Hawks)

Kelly Olynyk, power forward/center (2020-21 teams: Miami Heat/Houston Rockets)

Kelly Oubre Jr., shooting guard (2020-21 team: Golden State Warriors)

Kendrick Nunn, point guard (2020-21 team: Miami Heat)

Kent Bazemore, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Golden State Warriors)

Kris Dunn, point guard (2020-21 team: Atlanta Hawks)

Malik Monk, shooting guard (2020-21 team: Charlotte Hornets)

Markieff Morris, power forward (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Lakers)

Mike Scott, power forward (2020-21 team: Philadelphia 76ers)

Nemanja Bjelica, small/power forward (2020-21 teams: Sacramento Kings/Miami Heat)

Nerlens Noel, power forward/center (2020-21 team: New York Knicks)

Nicolas Batum, small/power forward (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Clippers)

Otto Porter Jr., small forward (2020-21 teams: Chicago Bulls/Orlando Magic)

Patty Mills, point/shooting guard (2020-21 team: San Antonio Spurs)

Paul Millsap, power forward (2020-21 team: Denver Nuggets)

P.J. Tucker, small/power forward (2020-21 teams: Houston Rockets/Milwaukee Bucks)

Reggie Bullock, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: New York Knicks)

Reggie Jackson, point guard (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Clippers)

Richaun Holmes, center (2020-21 team: Sacramento Kings)

Robin Lopez, center (2020-21 team: Washington Wizards)

Rudy Gay, small/power forward (2020-21 team: San Antonio Spurs)

Solomon Hill, small forward (2020-21 team: Atlanta Hawks)

Spencer Dinwiddie, point guard (2020-21 team: Brooklyn Nets)

Talen Horton-Tucker, small forward (2020-21 team: Los Angeles Lakers)

Tim Hardaway Jr. shooting guard (2020-21 team: Dallas Mavericks)

T.J. McConnell, point guard (2020-21 team: Indiana Pacers)

Tony Snell, small forward (2020-21 team: Atlanta Hawks)

Torrey Craig, small forward (2020-21 teams: Milwaukee Bucks/Phoenix Suns)

Trevor Ariza, small forward (2020-21 teams: Miami Heat)

Tyler Johnson, shooting guard (2020-21 team: Brooklyn Nets)

Wesley Matthews, shooting guard/small forward (2020-21 team: Los Angles Lakers)

Will Barton, small forward (2020-21 team: Denver Nuggets)

2021 NBA Mock Draft

In a sign that the NBA is close to retuning to business as usual, the 2021 NBA Draft will take place tonight-just 9 days after the Milwaukee Bucks were crowned the 2020-21 champs . Here's a look at how I believe all 60 picks will shake out before the projected flurry of trades potentially drastically change the whole order.

1.Detroit Pistons: Cade Cunningham, point guard (Oklahoma State)

2.Houston Rockets: Jalen Suggs, point guard (Gonzaga)

3.Cleveland Cavaliers: Evan Mobley, center (USC)

4.Toronto Raptors: Jalen Green, shooting guard (G League Ignite)

5.Orlando Magic: Scottie Barnes, small/power forward (Florida State)

6.Oklahoma City Thunder: James Bouknight, shooting guard (UConn)

7.Golden State Warriors: Jonathan Kuminga, small/power forward (G League Ignite)

8.Orlando Magic: Alperen Sengiun, power forward/center (Turkey)

9.Sacramento Kings: Franz Wagner, small/power forward (Michigan)

10.Memphis Grizzlies: Josh Giddey, shooting guard/small forward (Australia) 

11.Charlotte Hornets: Kai Jones, power forward/center (Texas)

12.San Antonio Spurs: Moses Moody, shooting guard (Arkansas)

13.Indiana Pacers: Corey Kispert, small forward (Gonzaga)

14.Golden State Warriors: Davion Mitchell, point guard (Baylor)

15.Washington Wizards: Trey Murphy, small/power forward (Virginia)

16.Oklahoma City Thunder: Ziare Williams, small/power forward (Stanford)

17.New Orleans Pelicans: Keon Johnson, shooting guard (Tennessee) 

18.Oklahoma City Thunder: Isaiah Jackson, center (Kentucky)

19.New York Knicks: Jared Butler, point/shooting guard (Baylor)

20.Atlanta Hawks: Chris Duarte, shooting guard (Oregon)

21.New York Knicks: Jalen Johnson, small/power forward (Duke)

22.Los Angeles Lakers: Cameron Thomas, shooting guard (LSU)

23.Houston Rockets: Day'Ron Sharpe, center (North Carolina)

24.Houston Rockets: Joshua Primo, shooting guard (Alabama)

25.Los Angeles Clippers: Usman Garuba, small/power forward (Spain)

26.Denver Nuggets: Tre Mann, point/shooting guard (Florida)

27.Brooklyn Nets: Miles McBride, point guard (West Virginia)

28.Philadelphia 76ers: Quentin Grimes, shooting guard (Houston)

29.Phoenix Suns: Jaden Springer, point/shooting guard (Tennessee)

30.Utah Jazz: Sharife Cooper, point guard (Auburn)

31.Milwaukee Bucks: Ayo Dosumu, point/shooting guard (Illinois)  

32.New York Knicks: Bones Hyland, shooting guard (VCU)

33.Orland Magic: J.T. Thor, small/power forward (Auburn)

34.Oklahoma City Thunder: Juhann Bergin, shooting guard (France)

35.New Orleans Pelicans: Isaiah Todd, power forward (G League Ignite)

36.Oklahoma City Thunder: Jeremiah Robinson-Earl, power forward (Villanova)

37.Detroit Pistons: Josh Christopher, shooting guard (Arizona State)

38.Chicago Bulls: Kessler Edwards, small/power forward (Pepperdine)

39.Sacramento Kings: Charles Bassey, center (Western Kentucky)

40.Memphis Grizzlies: Neemis Queta, center (Utah State)

41.San Antonio Spurs: Joel Ayayi, point/shooting guard (Gonzaga)

42.Detroit Pistons: A.J. Lawson, shooting guard/small forward (South Carolina) 

43.New Orleans Pelicans: Jason Preston, point guard (Ohio)

44.Brooklyn Nets: Rokas Jokubaitis, point guard (Lithuania) 

45.Boston Celtics: Joe Wieskamp, shooting guard (Iowa)

46.Toronto Raptors: B.J. Boston, shooting guard (Kentucky)

47.Toronto Raptors: Herbert Jones, small/power forward (Alabama)

48.Atlanta Hawks: Fillip Petrusev, center (Serbia)

49.Brooklyn Nets: Greg Brown, small/power forward (Texas)

50.Philadelphia 76ers: Aaron Henry, shooting guard (Michigan State)

51.New Orleans Pelicans: Amar Sylla, small/power forward (Senegal)

52.Detroit Pistons: Santi Aldama, small/power forward (Loyola)

53.New Orleans Pelicans: Isaac White, point guard (Australia)

54.Indiana Pacers: Jericho Sims, center (Texas)

55.Oklahoma City Thunder: Duane Washington, shooting guard (Ohio State)

56.Charlotte Hornets: Austin Reaves, point/shooting guard (Oklahoma State)

57.Charlotte Hornets: Dalano Banton, shooting guard/small forward (Nebraska)

58.New York Knicks: Daishen Nix, point guard (G League Ignite)

59.Brooklyn Nets: Vrenz Blijenbergh, small forward (Belgium)

60.Indiana Pacers: Sam Hauser, small/power forward (Virginia) 

Emily Blunt Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out various related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Emily Blunt-whose latest project "Jungle Cruise" releases in theaters and on Disney+ with Premier Access this Friday.

Emily Blunt's Filmography Ranked:

15.Gnomeo and Juliet (D)

14.The Wolfman (D)

13.Sunshine Cleaning (C-)

12.The Muppets (B-)

11.Charlie Wilson's War (B-)

10.Dan in Real Life (B-)

9.The Devil Wears Prada (B-)

8.The Five-Year Engagement (B)

7.The Adjustment Bureau (B)

6.The Girl on the Train (B+)

5.A Quiet Place Part II (B+)

4.A Quiet Place (B+)

3.Edge of Tomorrow (A-)

2.Looper (A-)

1.Sicario (A-)

Top Dog: Sicario (2015)

2 years after the release of the terrific moody mystery thriller Prisoners-which marked his first English language offering, Denis Villeneuve's impressive breakthrough into American cinema continued with Sicario. The film takes a pretty basic premise (a by-the-books veteran FBI agent has her ethics challenged after she joins a joint task force at the US/Mexico border that's aiming to take down a notorious cartel leader) and turns it into something really special by filling it with suffocating tension, nuanced performances from a stellar cast (Blunt, Benicio del Toro, Josh Brolin, Jon Bernthal, a pre-Get Out Daniel Kaluuya) and a heavy dose of moral ambiguity that demonstrates the very thin line that exists between law enforcement agencies and the drug kingpins they're chasing.   

Lowlight: Gnomeo and Juliet (2011)

Thank Christ Rocketman came along and did Elton John's legacy justice because it would've been a god damn tragedy if this obnoxious piece of shit was the only time his music was the driving force behind a jukebox musical. This animated, kid-friendly retelling of Romeo and Juliet starring a horde of lawn gnomes is a bizarrely smug, joyless affair that somehow was able to convince John to sign off on having horrible karaoke versions of his songs serve as musical interludes throughout this cheesy story.    

Most Underrated: The Girl on the Train (2016)

In the increasingly large field of spiritual sequels to Gone Girl, The Girl on the Train is easily the best. The writing is sharp enough to strongly develop its characters without disrupting the breakneck pacing of its misdirection-filled, non-linear mystery, the acting-particularly from Blunt as the lonely alcoholic protagonist who gets embroiled in a murder investigation, Haley Bennett as the young nanny who gets killed and Rebecca Ferguson as the current wife of Blunt's character's ex-husband- is really strong and of course, the trashy melodrama that sits at the center of the narrative is very well-executed. 

Most Overrated: Sunshine Cleaning (2009)

Amy Adams and Blunt deserved better than this poor dramedy for their only project together as co-leads (thus far). Despite game performances from both future superstars as estranged sisters who get a gig together cleaning crime scenes and Alan Arkin as their ornery father, the script and direction are too clunky to properly balance its dark comedy and sappy family drama mix.

Elite Contender for the Most Stunningly Boring Movie I've Ever Seen: The Wolfman (2010)

What do you get when you cross a heavyweight ensemble cast headlined by Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins and Blunt, an eerie gothic setting and a bunch of gory werewolf killings? An inexplicable near total absence of excitement. Sloppy direction from the usually respectable Joe Johnston, some brutally slow pacing and half-hearted performances from said great actors-save for Hugo Weaving as the eccentric detective investigating the string of full moon murders-sealed the doomed fate of this version The Wolfman before it even got much of a chance to prove itself.

Most Sneaky Impactful Blockbuster of the 2010's: Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Edge of Tomorrow finished its global box office run with a respectable, but hardly earth-shattering $378.5 mil and has yet to turn into a franchise despite a sequel being kicked around since it was released to critical acclaim back in June 2014. So how did Edge of Tomorrow proceed to greatly influence the present day blockbuster machine without any subsequent installments and only moderate financial success? Well, it helped reinvigorate the time loop narrative device in mainstream filmmaking, subverted military sci-fi action genre tropes by having the male lead be a cowardly asshole (Tom Cruise) who has to learn to become a hero from his intense, fearless female commander (Blunt) and is arguably the first Hollywood film to really nail the look and feel of video game action. Oh yeah and it also to be a really fun movie with great effects, one liners and a surprising amount of heart underneath its noisy exterior.    

2021 NFL Preview: AFC East

Buffalo Bills

2020 Record: 13-3 (1st in AFC East)

Head Coach: Sean McDermott (5th season)

Notable Additions: WR Emmanuel Sanders, QB Mitch Trubisky, T Bobby Hart 

Notable Departures: WR John Brown, CB Josh Norman, G Brian Winters

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The Vast Majority of Last Year's Team is Back

Continuity is a defining characteristic of most contending teams and the Bills are fortunate enough to have that heading into 2021. Just about every player that hit the open market this offseason re-upped with the team (Matt Milano, Daryl Williams, Levi Wallace) and none of the notable departures (John Brown, Josh Norman, Brian Winters, Matt Barkley, Andre Roberts) were significant contributors to their AFC Championship run a year ago. Even the coaching staff including OC Brian Daboll-who was among the hottest head coach candidates this offseason-will be back at full strength. Bringing the band back together-especially with a roster that largely consists of young players that are either still ascending (Josh Allen, Dion Dawkins, Tre'Davious White) or just now hitting their prime (Stefon Diggs, Jordan Poyer, Daryl Williams)-is a vitally important opening step in this team's quest to achieve their championship dreams.

Biggest Question Mark: Josh Allen's Ability to Repeat and/or Build Upon What He Did Last Season

The Aaron Rodgers F U Tour and Tom Brady continuing his winning ways in 2020 kind of took away from just how impressive Josh Allen's year 3 jump was. Driven by an incredible improvement in his short-to-intermediate accuracy, sharper decisionmaking and heightened command over the offense, Allen blew away his previous career highs (4,544 YDS, 37 TDS, 69.2 CMP% on 572 passing attempts, up from 3,089, 20, 58.8% on 461 attempts in 2019) and that stellar play allowed this Bills team to have their best season since the peak of the Jim Kelly/Andre Reed/Bruce Smith era in the early-to-mid 90's. 

While expecting him to match the MVP-caliber numbers he posted in 2020 on a year-to-year basis isn't fair or realistic, what last season did do was set a precedent for Allen's play moving forward and it's completely reasonable to question his ability to live up to it. There were still plenty of moments amidst all the glory last season where he was reverting back to his old chuck and duck, zero touch on the ball ways (see: their lopsided loss against the Chiefs in the AFC Championship Game). For as much talent as this roster has on both sides of the ball, Allen is the piece that lifts them from solid to great and any regression back to the less efficient, confident version of him that we saw during his 1st 2 NFL seasons will send this team off their title track.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Figuring Out the Corner Hierarchy Behind Tre'Davious White

Having a true shutdown corner in Tre'Davious White that's still only 26 years old gives the Bills an advantage over the at least 3/4 of the league that either don't have one or have a guy that's about to age out of being in that top class. While having a top corner is a really nice luxury that will help prevent them from being one of the worst passing defenses in the league, the fast and loose approach they've applied to the rest of their corner group is a bit worrisome.

Last season saw the Bills effectively deploying a platoon approach at the other corner spots alongside White with Wallace, Josh Norman, Taron Jackson and Dane Jackson all logging time in the starting lineup. To be fair, some of that shuffling was due to injuries and Norman contracting COVID in November, but there was also a lot of mixing and matching when they were at full strength that drew mixed results throughout the season (which tracks considering the Bills finished 13th against the pass in 2020).

With Norman gone and the benefit of having a full offseason program to get a feel for his personnel, DC Leslie Frazier is going to have to figure out who is going to slot in where. Wallace is a serviceable vet who is capable of handling most assignments he's tasked with, Taron Jackson-best known for making the game-clinching INT on Lamar Jackson in the Wild Card Round last year-started to get very comfortable in the slot at the end of the year, Dane Jackson was a very pleasant surprise in coverage when he was elevated from the practice squad for 5 games last year (including 2 starts) and rookie Rachad Wildgoose is an intriguing developmental prospect that should fit right in with the physical, instinctive corners this group is full of. Wallace and Taron Jackson as a 2nd outside/slot duo seems like the most likely combo based on their play last year and if they (particularly Jackson) can flourish with more stable assignments, there's no reason to think this corner group can't be one of the league's best.    

Bottom Line:

Boasting the deepest roster and clear best QB situation in the AFC East, it's the Bills division to lose.

Miami Dolphins 

2020 Record: 10-6 (2nd in AFC East)

Head Coach: Brian Flores (3rd season)

Notable Additions: WR Will Fuller, ILB Benardrick McKinney, CB/S Jason McCourty

Notable Departures: QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, OLB Kyle Van Noy, OLB Shaq Lawson

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Shiny, New Offensive Toys

The Dolphins exceeded any reasonable expectation people had for them last year by rattling off a 10-6 record and falling just shy off the final AFC Wild Card spot. Even with all the joy their overperformance provided their fanbase with, their offense wasn't exactly high on excitement. Sure, Ryan Fitzpatrick brought his usual unpredictable electricity to the field at times and Preston Williams broke off some big plays before he went down with a foot injury in November, but their offense mostly consisted of running the ball with a committee headed up by Myles Gaskin and dumping off short passes to whoever was open. 

So how do you add some sex appeal to an offense that doesn't really have a lot in place? Simple: Bring in a couple of explosive play specialists in Will Fuller and Jaylen Waddle. Fuller and the rookie Waddle-who the Dolphins surprisingly chose over his Alabama teammate DeVonta Smith with the 6th overall pick-are the type of downfield burners that opponents have nightmares about. No amount of technique and discipline as a corner can stop high-end downfield and slotting in two guys with these rare gifts next to each other gives the Dolphins a real opportunity to become a dynamic vertical offense.  There may be concerns about drops, soft tissue injuries, Tua Tagovailoa's ability to get them the ball downfield and in the case of Fuller, if his breakout 2020 campaign was directly tied to his PED use, but now isn't the time to disrupt 'Fins fans from daydreaming about all of the 80 YD housecalls their new WR's could make this season with rational questions about the feasibility of these highlight reel plays becoming reality. 

Biggest Question Mark: Xavien Howard's Playing Status 

Word trickled out a few weeks that 2x All-Pro and reigning league INT leader Xavien Howard was upset with his contract and was considering holding out for a new deal or trade. As the start of camp looms, no real clarity from either Howard or the Dolphins about this situation has been provided (Brian Flores spoke to the media earlier today, but said nothing of real consequence about this).

This is concerning for a couple of reasons. 1: The Dolphins REALLY value Howard. When they were cutting ties with everybody and their brother including the likes of Laremy Tunsil and Minkah Fitzpatrick at the start of the 2019 season, they let Howard know that they wanted him to be at the forefront of their overhauled roster by giving him a big money extension (5 years/$75.2 mil/$39.2 mil guaranteed) at a time where they actively selling everybody with value to acquire picks to fund their rebuilding efforts. 2.: Howard is coming off the best season of his career. He outshined big money free agent pickup Byron Jones every step of the way and proved he's talented enough to anchor an entire secondary by posting truly absurd numbers (10 INT's, 20 passes defensed, 52.2 CMP% allowed on 90 targets).

As much as Flores has improved every facet of this defense since he arrived with his diligent coaching, they really can't afford to piss off a great corner that's in his prime. Just look at the other options they have to roll out next to Jones (Justin Coleman- who has been abysmal in back-to-back seasons, Noah Igbinoghene-who spent his rookie season getting embarrassed by nearly everybody he lined up against and Jason McCourty-who is much better equipped to play safety this stage of his career) and try not to forcefully vomit. 

Is it kind of petty that Howard is already bitching about his contract 1 season into his big extension? Absolutely, but Jalen Ramsey and Marlon Humphrey reset the market with their new deals and it's hard to argue that Howard isn't at the very least just as good as them. The Dolphins have an opportunity to be in contention for the title of best corner duo for the next 3-4 years and it would be a real shame if a contract spat gone wrong put a stop to that.    

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Tua Tagovailoa's Play in Year 2

Tua Tagovailoa took far more undeserved shit than any other rookie in the league last year. That's not to say that any of the criticisms directed at him aren't valid: It certainly wasn't great to see him get (rightfully) benched for Ryan Fitzpatrick on several occasions during the year and he was definitely a little too content to settle for quick dump offs instead of testing the waters downfield-particularly against stiff competition. Despite these legit issues, it often felt like people were dumping on him simply because he wasn't matching the abnormally high level of play that his peers Justin Herbert and Joe Burrow displayed in year 1. It's easy to forget that Tua not only had to deal with the hurdles of a 2020 offseason where players weren't even allowed to congregate in person until the start of training camp, he had the added pressure of rehabbing from a major hip injury at the same time-which cut into his reps at training camp and subsequently impeded his ability to develop a rapport with his wideouts.  Plus at the end of the day even with all those obstacles in place, he was generally an efficient game manager (64.1 CMP%, 11 TD, 5 INT) and led the team to a 6-3 record in his starts, which is a completely fine starting point for a rookie QB.

Heading into year 2, there's every indication that Tua is going to improve. Not only is Tua fully healthy, he's got the aforementioned explosive additions to put alongside a potential burgeoning star tight end in Mike Gesicki-who was the only pass-catcher who was able to get on the same page with him pretty much right away last season, actually gets a chance to establish a rapport with his wideouts and has been freed of the burden of having Fitzpatrick constantly breathing down his neck (although new backup Jacoby Brissett is still good/experienced enough to threaten his job if he plays poorly). Hopefully his clean bill of health and those added reps with his wideouts will boost his confidence and we'll get a chance to see what the #5 overall pick in the 2020 draft is really made of in 2021. 

Bottom Line:

A tougher schedule, Tua Tagovailoa's continued adjustment to the NFL and the absence of people underestimating them should be detrimental to this respectable, but still flawed Dolphins squad. 

New England Patriots

2020 Record: 7-9 (3rd in AFC East)

Head Coach: Bill Belichick (22nd season)

Notable Additions: TE Hunter Henry, TE Jonnu Smith, OLB Matthew Judon

Notable Departures: G Joe Thuney, WR Julian Edelman (retired), CB/S Jason McCourty

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Bill Belichick Actually Spent Money in Free Agency!!!!

Everybody knows that Bill Belichick is a petty, grudge-holding prick and nothing could've possibly lit a fire under his ass more than Tom Brady winning a Super Bowl immediately after leaving the Patriots. Belichick knows god damn well that his legacy is tied to Brady's and if Brady continues to win while he wastes away in the hollow wasteland of mediocrity, his reputation in the annals of football history will be forever decimated. 

This unfortunate series of events inspired Belichick to do the most un-Belichick thing in the world: break out Robert Kraft's checkbook and be super aggressive in free agency. We're not talking about giving a couple guys decent-sized deals or adding a bunch of little depth pieces either: He landed some of the biggest names on the market (Jonnu Smith, Hunter Henry, Matthew Judon, Nelson Agoholor) along with a nice mix of established veteran starters (Kyle Van Noy, Jalen Mills) and his classic boom-or-bust signings (Kendrick Bourne, Henry Anderson, Rakewon McMillan) that could really bolster their depth at important positions on the cheap. Clearly these moves alone won't be enough to turn the tide, but being able to identify problem spots on their roster and urgently address them with vets who could complement the promising young talent they've added over the last couple of seasons (Kyle Dugger, Josh Uche, Chase Winovich), made this a productive offseason for the Patriots. 

Biggest Question Mark: Quarterback (Again)

The Cam Newton Comeback Experiment failed mightily last season as the 2015 league MVP struggled mightily with accuracy, reading defenses and even running the ball in non-short yardage situations. To the surprise of many, Newton inked another 1-year deal with the Pats at the start of free agency and is heading into training camp as the projected Week 1 starter. The team clearly felt inclined to run it back after his early season COVID diagnosis and lack of offseason reps with his teammates certainly contributed to his struggles in 20 and as poor as his play was, the strength of his leadership was definitely felt in the locker room.

So will Newton be able to improve this season? Probably. Adding a pair of tight ends in Smith and Henry who have the after-the-catch ability to excel in the short passing game to the fold and getting a full offseason to develop a feel for the offense should increase Newton's functionality within this system. However, the physical beatdowns he's endured dating back to at the very least his Auburn days that have left him with several chronic injuries (shoulder, knee, hip), tendency to hold onto the ball for too long and loss of a feel for the pass rush could prove to be just too much for him to overcome at this juncture of his career.

Now of course the alternative to Newton would be rookie Mac Jones. Jones' no frills, stand in the pocket and get the ball out quickly to the open target approach to the position makes him the perfect fit for Josh McDaniels' system, but his limited run as a starter at Alabama paired with the shakiness of the receiver group even with the new additions (Agholor has reportedly been awful with drops during OTA's and the inconsistent Bourne has only posted 1,769 YDS through 4 seasons in the pros) makes him an ideal candidate to sit on the bench for a year before he takes the field. 

Regardless of who lines up under center, they're going to need get something out of the passing game this season if they want avoid a repeat of their soul crushing 2020 offensive performance (27th in total YDS, 30th in passing offense, 27th in scoring offense). No amount of running back substitutions or cute scheming can cover up an offense that literally can't move the ball through the air and having an offense that is so easy for any team with a competent run D to defend makes winning with any sort of consistency damn near impossible.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Being Able to Win with Defense and the Running Game

The question marks surrounding every facet of their passing game are going to force Belichick and co. to win in a way that they're certainly familiar with: running the ball down people's throats and playing great defense. Now, the running game part of this equation seems like a fair bet to be solved. They were excellent running the ball last season (4th in the league with an impressive average of 146.6 YDS per game) despite their well-documented overall offensive ineptitude and should have a strong enough o-line/RB stable to continue to have a notable presence on the ground.

The defensive side of the ball is where doubt over their ability to execute this timeless equation start to creep in and there's a lot of reasons to be concerned about their ability to be great this season. Longtime Pats great Devin McCourty is starting to show his age, Dont'a Hightower is being tasked with the top inside linebacker spot despite the fact that he hasn't played a snap in 2 seasons and the team has no reliable replacement lined for up for Stephon Gilmore-who is entering his age 31 season and coming off a major quad injury-at top outside corner if he isn't ready to go week 1 (borderline start #2 corner J.C Jackson has struggled mightily whenever he's slid over to that spot).

On the other hand, there's also plenty of reasons to be optimistic about this group returning to the top 10 of scoring defenses  They beefed up both their front 7 enough with the additions of Judon, Van Noy, Dalvin Godcheaux, and rookie Christian Barmore to conceivably improve their pass rush and their run D-which ranked a sneaky terrible 26th in the league last season, the aforementioned promising young talent-particularly Uche and Dugger-are in a great spot to really flourish in year 2 now they get the opportunity to complete a traditional full offseason program and their corner group should be really formidable if Gilmore bounces back from injury even remotely well. If this strategy works and Belichick gets the Patriots back to the playoffs with an old school black and blue style of play, you can bet that miserable bastard will break out the big, smug smile that he typically reserves for his offseason Nantucket Magazine photo shoots.  

Bottom Line:

If their offense can even be just a little more efficient and effective in the passing game, the Patriots should be able to get back into the playoff mix.

New York Jets

2020 Record: 2-14 (4th in AFC East)

Head Coach: Robert Saleh (1st season)

Notable Additions: WR Corey Davis, DE Carl Lawson, T Morgan Moses 

Notable Departures: QB Sam Darnold, OLB Jordan Jenkins, DE/DT Henry Anderson 

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Adam Gase is Gone

2021 is almost certainly going to be another losing season for the Jets as they make the transition to a new coaching staff, roll out another rookie quarterback as their starter and continue to deploy some combination of Blessaun Austin, Bryce Hall and the other Lamar Jackson at corner. That being said, most Jets fans will gladly accept their latest rebuilding year since Adam Gase is no longer the head coach. Firing Gase was an inevitable conclusion to their miserable 2-14 2020 season that was riddled with questionable effort, snippy press conferences and internal dysfunction, but it still has to be really satisfying to see him out the door if you're a Jets fan. Even by the Jets porous standards, Gase was a world class bozo that managed to leave a team that wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders when Todd Bowles got fired in even worse shape than when he arrived. No matter what Robert Saleh ends up being as a head coach, there's very slim odds that he'll be the world class disaster in the locker room, at press conferences and on the sidelines that Gase was.     

Biggest Question Mark: Robert Saleh

During the 49ers dominant 2019 campaign, Saleh was quickly anointed the next great head coaching candidate after turning a long-struggling defense into a formidable powerhouse. After he was passed over for all of the open gigs and returned to the 49ers for the 2020 season, Kyle Shanahan and his players became even more over-the-top in their praise of him. Despite suffering a huge drop in the scoring defense ranking (8th in 2019 to 17th in 2020), Saleh managed to do enough this time around to earn himself a shot at running his own squad.

So what makes Saleh such a mystery? For starters, successful defensive-minded head coaches are basically relics at this point. Mike Vrabel is literally the only newcomer to the head coaching ranks in recent years that's been able to establish himself as a success with an old school, hard-nosed pedigree and every other great defensive-minded guy (Bill Belichick, Pete Carroll, Mike Tomlin) has been with their respective clubs for over a decade.

Then there's the question about just how much of a defensive virtuoso he really is. Out of his 4 years overseeing the 49ers D, their 8th ranked finish in 2019 was the only time they finished in the top half of the league in scoring defense and that success could easily be chalked up to the level of healthy, high end talent they had that season. It doesn't exactly take a brilliant coaching mind to produce strong results with a group that features a healthy DeForest Buckner, Richard Sherman and Nick Bosa all playing at or near the peak of their abilities. This argument can be countered by pointing to the impressive development of Arik Armstead, Fred Warner and Jaquiski Tartt over the same period of time, which only makes Saleh's true ability as a tactician even harder to track.

Saleh's OC pick Mike LaFluer has a similar sense of mystery attached to him. He's been joined at the hip with Kyle Shanahan since he interned under him with the Browns back in 2014, which pretty much means he's done nothing of consequence during his time in the league. Although he was the "passing game coordinator" for the 49ers over the past 2 seasons, Shanahan is notorious for running the show himself on offense, which means LaFluer likely has little or no experience drawing up schemes or calling plays. 

If LaFluer choses to simply mimic the Shanahan bootleg/power run/screen pass offense here, I'm not confident the Jets have the personnel in place on the offensive line or at running back to make that work. If he decides to do his own thing, then we'll have no idea how this system is really going to work until September.      

Saleh was beloved by his players in San Francisco and definitely has the right fire to be a head coach, it just remains a huge question mark whether he or his cohorts can excel in an environment that doesn't already have top-tier talent in place.     

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: The Plethora of New Faces Stepping Up

Saleh and Zach Wilson weren't the only major new additions to the Jets organization. They were very active in free agency-signing several prominent veterans without really breaking the bank (Corey Davis, Carl Lawson, Morgan Moses, Sheldon Rankins, Vinny Curry, Tevin Coleman, Keelan Cole) and followed that up with a splashy draft that landed them multiple high-ceiling prospects (guard Alijah Vera-Tucker, wide receiver Elijah Moore, running back Michael Carter) after taking Wilson at #2 overall.

Considering that most of these guys play at positions that were of great weakness (running back, offensive line spots that aren't left tackle, edge rusher, outside receiver) last year, they'll get the chance to prove their value right away. The young FA signings in particular like deep threat Davis, people-moving edge Lawson and interior pass-rushing specialist Rankins have all flashed significant potential in the past when healthy and the sure-handed shifty slot/outside hybrid threat Moore, patient power runner Carter and versatile Vera-Tucker all profile as ideal fits for the modern NFL game. Clearly the Jets have whiffed a lot more then they've hit in both departments over the years and Wilson certainly has the profile (big arm, small school player with no experience against top-tier competition, only 1 productive season in college) to be the latest "looks good in shorts" QB bust, but at the very least, Joe Douglas rolled the dice on the right types of players without screwing up the cap situation in the long-term.     

Bottom Line:

Even if everything goes great with Saleh, Wilson and their plethora of other new faces in year 1, the Jets combination of youth and major talent deficiencies at key positions makes a turnaround in 2021 damn near impossible.

Projected Standings

1.Buffalo Bills (12-5)

2.New England Patriots (10-7)

3.Miami Dolphins (8-9)

4.New York Jets (4-13)

2021 NFL Preview Series Update

Greetings football fans. I'm happy to report that my annual NFL Preview Series will be launching tomorrow with a look at the AFC East. Entries will be released once or twice a week (with the possible exception of the week of August 9-13) until the season starts on Thursday September 9th. Hope you enjoy reading my assorted musings on all 32 teams ahead of the 2021 season and thank you as always for checking out this site. 

Chris Maitland 

I Think You Should Leave Season 2 Sketches Ranked

Season 2 of Netflix's cult favorite sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson finally arrived on July 6th after a COVID-induced production delay and unsurprisingly considering the strength of the previous season, it proved to be worth the wait. After spending a couple weeks watching and reflecting on this round of demented, oddball comedic genius from Robinson and his writing team , I'm now in a place where I'm comfortable enough to offer up an initial ranking of all 24 sketches. Here's the criteria I used to rank them:

1.Rewatchability/quotability 

2.Degree of absurdity present and how well the performers sold it. 

3.The amount of weird, dark or completely unexpected turns they make from start to finish.

4(Most important) Whether or not they caused me to cry and/or experience physical pain from laughing so hard.

It does need to be noted that this list is being composed after only a few viewings. Given how much subsequent rewatches can reveal new layers within the sketches or just make certain jokes click that may not have in the past, this list could undergo significant changes in both the near and distant future like my rankings of the 1st season's sketches have. Now, sit back and enjoy the list, and be sure to direct any hate mail to the fine people at Corncob TV.

24.Credit Card Roulette (Episode 5)

23.Jamie Taco (Episode 4)

22.Huge Dumps (Episode 6)

21.Little Buff Boys (Episodes 1 and 5)

20.Diner Friend (Episode 2)

19.Stable of Stars (Episode 5)

18.Whole Different Guy (Episode 4)

17.Parking Lot Driving (Episode 5)

16.Space Restaurant (Episode 5)

15.You Can't Skip Lunch/Carber Hot Dog Vacuum (Episodes 1 and 3)

14.Detective Crashmore (Episode 3)

13.Professor Yurabay (Episode 3)

12.Claire's (Episode 6)

11.Karl Havoc (Episode 1)

10.Dan Flashes (Episode 2)

9.The Capital Room (Episode 2)

8.The Big Wave (Episode 6)

7.Ghost Tour (Episode 1)

6.Calico Cut Pants (Episode 4)

5.Driver's Ed (Episode 6)

4.Tammy Craps (Episode 6)

3.Sloppy Steaks (Episode 2)

2.Corncob TV (Episode 1)

1.Insider Trading (Episode 3)

Movie Review: Pig

What is it going to take for the masses to stop acting surprised when Nicolas Cage turns in a good performance in something? A viral YouTube compilation featuring his best dramatic scenes? People realizing that The Wicker Man isn't the only movie he's ever been in? Him getting "I WON A FUCKING OSCAR" tattooed on his forehead?

While I fully understand that Cage is known more these days for being a meme, it continues to blow my mind that many people-including self-proclaimed film buffs-aren't aware that the man has other gifts outside of being the industry standard for having screaming meltdowns on camera. The 57-year old Hollywood veteran has regularly displayed over the course of his career that he has the commitment, fearlessness and range as a performer that only the best of the best in the field posses. The brilliance of Cage is put to exceptional use in Pig-a slow, melancholic drama that see the notorious actor tapping into his underutilized quiet side.  

With a lesser actor leading the way, Pig would be a shaky character study from a first time filmmaker (Michael Sarnoski) that's overly reliant on its abundant ambiguity and the surreal weirdness of the world it builds. With Cage leading the charge as a former renowned Portland chef who has been living in an isolated cabin in the woods alone for 15 years following the death of his wife that is forced to revisit his past life in the city when his truffle pig is kidnapped, the hero's plight gains some real power. Not only does Cage carry around the silent weight of grief around him with total grace, he gives the character a brutal yet respectful honesty that shows off the compassionate man that sits underneath all of the pain and provides some thoughtful answers as to why this particular pig meant so much to him. If the rest of Pig was executed with the degree of depth and assurance that Cage brings to his performance, we'd be talking about an understated masterpiece instead of a minor somber drama that's completely carried by its immensely talented star.

Grade: B-

M. Night Shyamalan Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted relevant accolades. This week, I'm profiling the prolific master of the plot twist otherwise known as M. Night Shyamalan-whose latest project "Old" hits theaters on Friday.  

M. Night Shyamalan's Filmography Ranked:

11.Lady in the Water (D)

10.The Village (D)

9.The Last Airbender (D+)

8.Glass (C-)

7.Signs (C-)

6.Split (C-)

5.After Earth (C)

4.The Happening (C)

3.Unbreakable (B-)

2.The Visit (B)

1.The Sixth Sense (B+)

Top Dog: The Sixth Sense (1999)

The "BRUCE WILLIS IS A GHOST" twist ending and Shyamalan's reliance on said plot twists turning into punchlines over the years has kind of eroded the legacy of The Sixth Sense, which is really unfortunate because its a terrific psychological thriller. Shyamalan does a great job of establishing an unsettling tone, the central performances (Willis, Toni Collette, Haley Joel Osment) are superb and the aforementioned ending was legitimately shocking before everybody was aware of the reveal.  

Lowlight: Lady in the Water (2006)

Despite having a riotously funny final 30 minutes that is pure gold for any purveyor of trash cinema, Lady in the Water is otherwise a boring, convoluted and woefully acted fairy tale that represents Shyamalan at his unhinged worst.

Most Underrated: The Visit (2015)

After watching his steady decline following Unbreakable, I was pretty confident that Shyamalan would never make a legitimately good film ever again. Then truly out of nowhere, he snapped out of his 15 year funk with this little gem. The Visit marked a true back to basics project for Shyamalan-who at the time was coming off a pair of blockbuster bombs (The Last Airbender, After Earth). It was a low budget horror thriller with a simple hook (a pair of teenagers visit their estranged grandparents for the the first time, only to become increasingly disturbed by their erratic behavior), largely unknown cast (Kathryn Hahn was the only prominent Hollywood regular involved) and a lean 94 minute runtime. Keeping things simple for the first time in a long time allowed Shyamalan to really focus on his craft and in turn, he was able to create a clever, entertaining film that features an effective comedy/horror balance, the best ensemble acting (Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan, Peter McRobbie, Hahn) of any of his films since The Sixth Sense and *gasp* a high quality plot twist that gives way to a really solid ending.      

Most Overrated: Split (2017)

For the opening 2/3 of Split, Shaymalan seemed like he was on a path to string together back-to-back respectable projects and continue his unexpected revival. James McAvoy crushes the brutally difficult assignment of playing a man with dissociative identity disorder (he plays 8 different characters over the course of the film) and the central mystery centered around why this mentally ill man kidnapped three teenage girls (Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, Jessica Sula) was very compelling. Then the master of the shitty plot twists ruins the entire thing when he introduces a ridiculous supernatural element to the story that ultimately ends with the groanworthy Unbreakable tie-in that birthed the similarly underwhelming Glass.

The Film Responsible for Shyamalan's Woes: Signs (2002)

The swift downturn of Shyamalan's career can be tied to one specific scene in Signs. Upon discovering that the aliens that have quietly invaded Earth have made their way into his farmhouse, grieving widow Graham (Mel Gibson) instructs his bat-wielding former minor league baseball player brother Merrill (Joaquin Phoenix) to "swing away" at the extraterrestrial visitors -which then leads to an unforgettably terrible sequence where Merrill knocks a glass of water onto an alien and discovers that it melts their skin. This moment proved to be just a taste of the stupidity that Shyamalan was capable of, but its importance in the history of the gloriously dumb ideas that have come out of his head can't be understated.  

Movie Review: Space Jam: A New Legacy

For a lot of 90's kids like myself, Space Jam is one of the most sacred pieces of entertainment from our childhoods. As rough as it was from a conventional moviemaking standpoint, there was a certain spellbinding magic behind it that made our eyes light up and forced our parents to routinely queue up the VCR so we could watch it again. While I'm not confident that Space Jam: A New Legacy brings the original's brand of mystical, joyous entertainment into a new era, I can say that I had a pretty great time with it.

Upon rewatching the original Space Jam later in life, it becomes pretty clear that it's a fucking loopy movie. Although him teaming up with being kidnapped by the Looney Tunes to play a basketball game against a group of aliens that have stolen the abilities (and height) of several elite NBA players in order to beat them is the primary plot, it also happens to be a vessel for Michael Jordan to apologize to the public for his first retirement from basketball, announce his return to the Bulls after a catastrophic stint as a professional baseball player and help sell some Nikes so he could pay off his gambling debts. Space Jam: A New Legacy bottles up that insane spirit and in true 21st century fashion, proceeds to  heighten it to a comical degree.

The insanity of Space Jam: A New Legacy begins with its setup: LeBron James along with his video game programming son (Cedric Joe) are brought into the Warner Brothers headquarters for a pitch meeting that's set up by a disgruntled, fame-seeking algorithm named Al G. Rhythm (Don Cheadle-in a sincerely incredible piece of self-aware overacting). When LeBron balks at Al. G's proposal-which was literally just inserting him into various established Warner Brothers properties- he promptly lures LeBron and his son into the basement of the headquarters and sucks them into the company's computer system, which is of course known as The Warner Brothers Serververse. 

In order to free himself and his son from the Serververse, LeBron has to team up with the Looney Tunes to win a game of basketball. Seems easy enough right? WRONG. The twist is that they're playing inside of an arcade-style video game that LeBron's son designed where scoring with flash is heavily rewarded and their opponents are modified versions of several NBA/WNBA greats (Anthony Davis, Klay Thompson, Damian Lillard, Diana Taurasi, Neka Ogwumike) known as the Goon Squad. Will LeBron be able to adapt to a new brand of basketball to save himself and his kin or will this evil algorithm finally become a worldwide phenomenon? The answer probably won't shock you...

As loopy as the general premise is, it's ultimately just an appetizer for what follows. The entire film is a colorful, spastic contradiction that perfectly encapsulates the current short attention span era of the internet. The film is simultaneously unapologetically self-congratulatory as it rips through Warner Brothers pop culture references at a clip that makes Ready Player One feel downright restrained and self-aware as it features a heavy dose of meta humor that takes shots at its own referential excess. Its primary message is about the importance of being yourself and teamwork yet it pumps up LeBron's individual greatness at every possible avenue. There's just as many scenes full of asides that are clearly designed for kids who spend their time drifting through YouTube/TikTok rabbit holes as there are ones that are built around cultural references (The Matrix, Mad Max: Fury Road, Casablanca) that are guaranteed to go over their heads. Creating a wild world driven by overstimulation, conflicting ideals and the cheap yet satisfying intoxication of name-checking old pop culture stuff is actually kind of genius, and there's no possible way for me to condemn a movie that's aimed at the current generation of youth for successfully distilling the essence of today's internet culture into a 115-minute package.

Unsurprisingly, the over-the-top excess carries over to the actual basketball segments as well as each Goon Squad player effectively has their own set of superpowers (ex: Lillard can slow down time and Ogumike is a spider-like creature who specializes in steals) within the game. However, this is the only area of the film that feels almost exactly like the original. Watching the Looney Tunes play a high stakes basketball game alongside some of the world's best basketball players that's frequently derailed by silly jokes, periodic villain meddling and sweeping pep talks took me back to the euphoric state I entered dozens of times while watching the Tune Squad take on the Monstars in the late 90's/early 00's. While modern entertainment is definitely far too reliant on tapping into nostalgia on the whole, it's a beautiful, joyous thing when a piece of it hits your personal sweet spot and I'm thrilled that A New Legacy was able to do that during its most pivotal moments.

Space Jam: A New Legacy has gotten and will continue to get a lot of hate for the way its constructed. When aggressive self-promotion sits at the core of a film, some people are going to lament its existence and call for Hollywood to stop making movies that are more concerned with selling shit than telling a story. A New Legacy might not end up having the staying power of the original because of this trendy, time capsule approach, but it's dedication to tapping into the hyperactive mindset of today's internet culture makes me respect and enjoy it in a weird kind of way.           

Grade: B

Movie Review: Gunpowder Milkshake

Within the first few scenes of Gunpowder Milkshake- the latest from Israeli B-movie filmmaker Navot Papushado that just arrived on Netflix in the US- it establishes itself as arguably the most pure descendent of John Wick yet. Gunpowder Milkshake's tale of a second generation elite assassin (Karen Gillan) who reluctantly reaches out to her estranged mother (Lena Headey) and the members of her old organization (Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh, Carla Gugino) after a botched job puts her in the crosshairs of multiple prominent groups of trained killers and she's forced to go on the run with the daughter (Chloe Coleman) of a slain target does the bare minimum from a storytelling perspective, and instead lets the bloody action, neon-tinged noir atmosphere and magnetism of the cast lead the way. 

While not without its rough patches-particularly when it decides to dive into the mother/daughter separation subplot in the middle of the film-this style over substance strategy mostly pays off. Papushado boasts a great feel for pacing as well as a sharp visual eye, the leading ladies develop a pretty great group dynamic in a chaotic setting that doesn't allow for many character moments and the kinetic action sequences are infused with a refreshing amount of creativity (in terms of both situations the characters are put in and the weapons they use) and humor. Outside of Nobody, Gunpowder Milkshake is the most satisfying action thriller of 2021 to date that will hopefully go down as just the first of many standouts to be released during this unusually active July-September period for the genre.   

Grade: B+

Don Cheadle Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-where I rank a franchise or filmography and hand out assorted relevant accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Don Cheadle-whose latest project "Space Jam: A New Legacy" arrives in theaters and on HBO Max this Friday. 

Don Cheadle Filmography's Ranked:

23.Ocean's Twelve (D-)

22.Avengers: Age of Ultron (D+)

21.After the Sunset (D+)

20.Volcano (C-)

19.Crash (C+)

18.Mission to Mars (C+)

17.Iron Man 2 (C+)

16.Traitor (B-)

15.No Sudden Move (B-)

14.Brooklyn's Finest (B-)

13.Boogie Nights (B-)

12.The Guard (B-)

11.Traffic (B)

10.Talk to Me (B)

9.Reign Over Me (B)

8.Swordfish (B+)

7.Flight (B+)

6.Ocean's Thirteen (B+)

5.Hotel Rwanda (B+)

4.Out of Sight (A-)

3.Iron Man 3 (A)

2.Avengers: Infinity War (A)

1.Ocean's Eleven (A)

Top Dog: Ocean's Eleven (2001)

Watching No Sudden Move's initial promise get derailed by overcomplicated plotting was a reminder that Steven Soderbergh's success in the heist genre is dependent on keeping things slick and straightforward. Case in point: his career highpoint Ocean's Eleven. Powered by a charismatic ensemble cast (George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts, Cheadle, Andy Garcia, the late Bernie Mac and Carl Reiner, about 62 others), vibrant Las Vegas setting and Soderbergh's signature sharp visuals, this remake of the iconic 1960 Rat Pack film effortlessly solidifies itself as a masterclass in non-stop, electrifying entertainment.  

Lowlight: Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Ocean's Twelve is the complete antithesis of its predecessor. Where Ocean's Eleven is a simple, wall-to-wall party, Ocean's Twelve is a joyless disaster that loses sight of its proven winning identity by suffocating any chance of fun developing with a needlessly convoluted, witless plot that is centered around a boring heist. 

Most Underrated: Swordfish (2001)

Seeing a 20th anniversary piece on Swordfish appear on the Yahoo! homepage last month was very surreal and even a little bit jarring. For starters, I'm shocked that it's been 20 years since it was released. Secondly, I didn't think anybody in film media cared enough about Swordfish to voluntarily acknowledge its existence, let alone a milestone anniversary. To be honest, I'm just glad that somebody else out there has fond memories of this dumb little movie. It's a captivating time capsule of the manic cool hacker/nu metal era in action cinema that is made infinitely better by an overqualified cast (John Travolta, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, Cheadle, Sam Shepard, Vinnie Jones) that gleefully commits to its silly material.  

Most Overrated: Boogie Nights (1997)

It takes a special brand of asshole to be critical of Boogie Nights mere moments after talking up Swordfish, but thankfully I'm very qualified to handle that task. Paul Thomas Anderson's breakout project is perhaps the purest showcase of his filmmaking signatures in his entire filmography. There's a plethora of sensational performances, some really striking visuals, the type of sluggish pacing that has the remarkable ability to render exciting topics boring (in this case, the wild west of the 70's porn industry) and an indulgent long runtime (2 hours and 35 minutes) that it never even comes close to justifying.  

Movie Review: Black Widow

COVID gave way to the biggest breather the MCU has had since it really kicked into high gear with the release of The Avengers back in May 2012-with the last film (Spider-Man: Far from Home) being released back in early July 2019. Given that Avengers: Endgame represented the epic closing of a chapter and the fatigue that set in after being bombarded with multiple new films every year, having an unplanned break from this exhaustive world was actually a pretty nice treat. That hiatus from Marvel's primary attraction has finally come to a close with the release of Black Widow and in typical MCU fashion, they re-entered the cinematic space in reliably solid yet completely unremarkable fashion.

Although its been known for a long time that Black Widow was set after the events of Captain America: Civil War, seeing it in practice highlights just how baffling the choice to release this movie now is. As refreshing as it was to unplug from the all the explanatory Multiverse crap that Loki is pedaling for a brief moment, heading back to this chapter in the timeline feels completely unnecessary. All of the fallout from Civil War has long been resolved and none of the gaps Black Widow between the end of that film and the start of Infinity War fills in are overly significant. Seriously, how does Natasha going into hiding, aiming to take down the architect of the Red Room (Ray Winstone in a completely underdeveloped and useless villain role) aka the Russian spy program that robbed her of her chance of living a normal life then eventually acting as the peacemaker between the Steve Rodgers and Tony Stark sides of the Sokovia Accords dispute really change anything in the grand scheme of things?  If anything, using a previous era of this universe that no longer have any relevancy in this world as the backdrop for the lone solo movie of a now deceased original Avenger really just shows how little Marvel gives a shit about this character.

Aside from the hard to avoid questions over the timing of its release, Black Widow generally accomplishes what it set out to do. Tonally, its very much in line with Captain America: The Winter Solider and the aforementioned Civil War-rocking a grim spy plot with dark lighting, minimal levity and a host of quick cut fight scenes where the combatants walk away with real wounds. Romanoff's being forced to confront her past sins as a trained killer is a setup that has an unshakable darkness behind it and really leaning into that with a relatively gritty, cold film that doesn't pull out the inevitable cutesy "all is forgiven" redemption card until the very last minute was the right call.  

Funnily enough for a bleak, action-packed spy flick, Black Widow's best moments come when its dealing with Natasha's long abandoned "family". Director Cate Shortland-who exclusively made indie dramas prior to this-is much more comfortable handling these quiet moments than she is the big CGI setpieces and this greater than usual reliance on scenes with a grounded emotional backbone allows Scarlett Johansson along with MCU newcomers David Harbour, Rachel Weisz and likely future franchise pillar Florence Pugh-who play the other members of the fake family she was briefly apart of during her time as a Red Room spy-get to show off their elite acting chops. While they ultimately did Romanoff dirty by releasing this movie after she died, the degree of empathy they showed by exploring her traumatic past and how she and the people in her orbit handled the divergent paths they headed down once they were separated ensures that her legacy wasn't completely botched.

Will the sequencing and status as an underwhelming swan song for Black Widow matter if her fate is undone by the lazy revival mechanism that the multiverse allows for? Perhaps not. But if Marvel decides to keep Natasha dead and allows Pugh's Yelena to take over the mantle as expected, it'll be hard to shake this film's lack of weight. Johansson did as much as she possibly could to make this character an MCU staple despite consistently being treated as a second fiddle to Iron Man/Captain America/Thor/Spider-Man, and to give this character a second rate sendoff is just disrespectful to the contribution she made in establishing this universe as a cultural force.     

Grade: B

Quick Movie Reviews: Zola, The Forever Purge, No Sudden Move, The Tomorrow War

Zola: 8 years after the satirical hedonistic Florida nightmare that was Spring Breakers, A24 has returned to the Sunshine State for another round of surreal, darkly comedic insanity with Zola. Based on one of the first Twitter threads to go viral back in 2015, Zola is a (mostly) true story about a Detroit-based waitress/stripper (Taylour Paige) who is convinced by a customer she waits on (Riley Keough) to go dance in Tampa Bay for a week. Shortly after arriving in Tampa, Zola realized she's been duped about the real purpose of the trip and quickly becomes an unwitting passenger on a wild journey that involves a whole lot more elicit criminal activity and life-threatening situations than she bargained for when she left Detroit. 

Every single performance from Paige's breakout star turn as the confident, forthright Zola down to Colman Domingo's scene-stealing supporting role as Keough's character alternately ruthless and charismatic pimp is sensational and at just 86 minutes in length, director Janciza Bravo-who also co-wrote the script with Jeremy O. Harris-is able to maximize the impact of this story's shock value, seedy fun and quiet tragedy while seamlessly bringing together those divergent strands of DNA to form a singular cohesive vessel.      

Grade: B+

The Forever Purge: As we sit in the middle of a summer movie slate that's driven by films that were supposed to be released in 2020, no film that's been released in theaters thus far has benefited more from the year on the shelf  than The Forever Purge. A film that's centered around a political party's violent, bigoted rhetoric leading to a group of their supporters carrying out a previously unfathomable coup attempt gains a whole new level of unintended resonance in the wake of January 6th. That's not to say that the plot/messaging of The Forever Purge wouldn't have made an impact if it were released on its originally scheduled July 2020 date, but there's this profoundly urgent, unsettling layer of horror to what's depicted on screen that wouldn't have existed if there wasn't an insurrection attempt in the United States just six months before it was released. 

Even though its not addressed in the most nuanced or intelligent fashion, The Forever Purge continues the franchise's legacy of addressing systemic issues within the United States (this time around, its tribalism, colonialism and the optimistic lens that non-white immigrants view the United States through with despite all the prejudice that's directed at them) that most mainstream modern genre movies wouldn't even consider diving into. If this really is the end of the line for the franchise, it deserves its flowers for being a highly entertaining action/horror franchise that delivered its social commentary in a blunt, visceral fashion that perfectly reflected the mindset of the country it was criticizing and improved with nearly every subsequent installment.         

Grade: B+

No Sudden Move: In what is becoming an all too common occurrence for Steven Soderbergh of late, No Sudden Move manages to dig its own grave by trying to do too much with its narrative. Early on, No Sudden Move is a slickly intriguing crime caper about a pair of low level criminals (Don Cheadle, Benicio del Toro) who have to go on the lamb after getting double crossed by their employer (Brendan Fraser) on a job that was sold to them as being just the simple theft of a document from an accountant's office (David Harbour). The issue is that the scheme and the players involved with it keep widening in scope as the film moves along, eventually leading to an abrupt, needlessly convoluted and deeply unsatisfying conclusion that undoes a lot of the good will Soderbergh's energetic direction and its starry cast (in addition to the aforementioned performers, Julia Fox, Ray Liotta, Jon Hamm, Amy Seimetz, Kieran Culkin, Bill Duke, Noah Jupe and Matt Damon all appear in various capacities) built up in the first half. 

Grade: B-

The Tomorrow War: It's almost too perfect that The Tomorrow War pivoted from a theatrical release to streaming once Paramount sold it off to Amazon earlier this year. Despite being the rare big budget film that's not based on an existing property, The Tomorrow War feels like something that was generated from an algorithm that was looking to make the perfect film to be passively consumed by American audiences. So what type of movie did the almighty lords of artificial intelligence come up with for the sons and daughters of Uncle Sam? An overlong, slightly above average smorgasbord of military propaganda, over-the-top corny family melodrama, nonsensical science talk, slo-mo character deaths for every individual of consequence that doesn't make it to the closing credits, ridiculous plot contrivances, occasional one liners from supporting characters that briefly break the otherwise deadly serious tone and some huge CGI alien fights that show off what $200 million can buy you in Hollywood these days. Just go watch Independence Day, Edge of Tomorrow or any of the other of the other great sci-fi action blockbusters that are available to rent on the same platform instead of giving this aimlessly cobbled together collection of tropes the time of day.      

Grade: C+

Angela Bassett Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted relevant accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Angela Bassett-whose latest project "Gunpowder Milkshake" arrives on Netflix on July 14th.  

Angela Bassett's Filmography Ranked:

19.Vampire in Brooklyn (D-)

18.Contact (C-)

17.Jumping the Broom (C-)

16.Green Lantern (C)

15.Mr. 3000 (C)

14.This Means War (C)

13.Chi-Raq (C+)

12.London Has Fallen (B-)

11.The Score (B-)

10.Olympus Has Fallen (B-)

9.Kindergarten Cop (B)

8.White Bird in a Blizzard (B)

7.Notorious (B+)

6.Bumblebee (B+)

5.Mission-Impossible: Fallout (B+)

4.Avengers: Endgame (A-)

3.Soul (A)

2.Boyz n the Hood (A)

1.Black Panther (A)

Top Dog: Black Panther (2018)

When Marvel brings in the right people then allows them to make something that isn't just an extended teaser for a future project, they're capable of doing some pretty special shit. Case in point: Black Panther. Ryan Coogler establishes Wakanda as this rich world with a complex history and the actors (Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Ny'ongo, Danai Guerra, Winston Duke, Letita Wright, Daniel Kaluuya, Bassett, Forest Whitaker) breathe so much life into both the power struggle that ensues in the wake of their king T'Chaka (John Kani) being killed in Captain America: Civil War and the traditional superhero beats that need to be hit that the strong emotional hook that this genre so rarely achieves is formed very early on. Continuing this franchise without Boseman at the forefront is going to be an exceptionally difficult challenge, but if anyone can pull it off, it's this team.

Lowlight: Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Vampire in Brooklyn is an age old Hollywood cautionary tale of how having high-end talent come together on a project doesn't always lead to high-end results. Horror icon Wes Craven, comedy legend Eddie Murphy and dramatic stalwart Bassett were all inexplicably out of their depths in this dreadful horror comedy that never establishes any real command over its tone, story or downright idiotic vampire mythology.   

Most Underrated: White Bird in a Blizzard (2014)

While the nonlinear, genre-bending plot leads to some choppy storytelling at times, the fearless conviction that drives Gregg Arakai's direction and Shailene Woodley's performance in the lead role are enough for White Bird in a Blizzard to conquer its narrative flaws.

Most Overrated: Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

The reliably gruff charisma Gerard Butler brings to Secret Service agent/one man untouchable killing machine Mike Banning is the only reason Olympus Has Fallen (and both of its sequels) rise above mediocrity. This film isn't really anything more than a pretty shameless knockoff of Die Hard that makes the avoidable yet not completely crippling mistake of taking itself super seriously while plowing through repetitive quick cut shootouts, silly plot twists and long moustache twirling-villain monologues.

Most Puzzlingly Unspectacular Star-Studded Heist Movie: The Score (2001)

I actually just saw this for the first time last month and my primary takeaway was how Robert De Niro, Edward Norton, Bassett and Marlon Brando-in his final role ever-ended up starring in something that is so basic from top to bottom. There's legimately not a single thing in this film from the planning of the heist to the back stories of the players involved to the eventual rapid chain of plot twists that take place during the heist itself that is anything above nondescriptly competent-which may be why none of the heavy-hitters in the cast come anywhere close to hitting their peak form as actors (particularly Brando-whose reported erratic behavior on set including refusing to take direction from anyone besides De Niro could explain his generally half-assed performance).  

2021 in Movies: Mid-Year Review

A combination of the 2020 Oscar slate extending into the first two months, a relentlessly active streaming presence powered by Netflix's "release at least 1 new movie every week" strategy and the theatrical release pipeline starting to really fire up again over the past six weeks has made the early 2021 cinematic slate a very dynamic, fascinating beast. So did this perfect storm of genre and release channel diversity generate positive results? Generally yes. 

While not quite matching the absurd quality level of 2019, 2021 has made a pretty strong impression out of the gate with a solid number of standout films and very little in the way of outright flops. There's been riotous comedies that have used their own twisted oddball voices to mine non-stop laughs (Bad Trip, Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar), some really impressive blockbusters (Godzilla vs. Kong, F9, A Quiet Place Part II) that have helped reinforce the value of the theatrical experience within the cinema ecosystem and a transcendent piece of filmmaking that brings the intensity and intrigue of a thriller to the dramatization of a tragic piece of American history that has been swept under the rug by the masses for far too long (Judas and the Black Messiah). As studios continue to unload the vaults of heavy-hitter titles they've amassed over the past year and the aforementioned supersized Netflix release calendar prepares to enter its prestige phase in roughly two months time, 2021 is in a position to end on an even stronger note than what it started on. Below, you'll find a ranking of every film I've seen from January through the opening weekend of July as well as a healthy number of mid-year awards that cover everything from acting to surprises/letdowns to visual effects. Hope you enjoy.      

Haven't Seen, but Intend to Watch:

Biggie: I Got a Story to Tell

Blast Beat

Censor

Chaos Walking

Don't Tell a Soul

False Positive

Fear Street Part 1: 1994

Finding Ohana

First Date

Flashback

Happily

In the Earth

Infinite

Initiation

Land

Monster

Profile

Psycho Goreman

Raya and the Last Dragon

Riders of Justice

Shiva Baby

Spiral: From the Book of Saw

Stowaway

Summer of Soul

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

The Courier

The Dry

The Paper Tigers

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run

The Tomorrow War

Till Death

Together Together

Voyagers

Werewolves Within

Wrath of Man

48.The Marksman (D+)

47.Awake (D+)

46.Good on Paper (C-)

45.Tom & Jerry (C)

44.Moxie (C)

43.The United States vs. Billie Holiday (C+)

42.Coming 2 America (C+)

41.Thunder Force (B-)

40.Locked Down (B-)

39.Breaking News in Yuba County (B-)

38.Our Friend (B-)

37.Fatherhood (B-)

36.The Ice Road (B-)

35.Shadow in the Cloud (B-)

34.The Map of Tiny Perfect Things (B-)

33.No Sudden Move (B-)

32.Outside the Wire (B-)

31.The Mauritanian (B-)

30.Without Remorse (B)

29.The Little Things (B)

28.Boss Level (B)

27.Boogie (B)

26.The White Tiger (B)

25.Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (B)

24.Saint Maud (B)

23.The Woman in the Window (B)

22.Oxygen (B)

21.Cruella (B)

20.Mortal Kombat (B)

19.Zack Snyder's Justice League (B)

18.Some Kind of Heaven (B)

17.Luca (B)

16.Those Who Wish Me Dead (B+)

15.The Mitchells vs. the Machines (B+)

14.The Forever Purge (B+)

13.Zola (B+)

12.Plan B (B+)

11.F9 (B+)

10.I Care a Lot (B+)

9.Concrete Cowboy (B+)

8.Army of the Dead (B+)

7.Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (B+)

6.A Quiet Place Part II (B+)

5.Malcolm & Marie (A-)

4.Godzilla vs. Kong (A-)

3.Nobody (A-)

2.Bad Trip (A)

1.Judas and the Black Messiah (A)

Mid-Year Awards:

Biggest Surprise: Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Biggest Letdown: No Sudden Move

Most Underrated Movie: Concrete Cowboy

Most Overrated Movie: No Sudden Move

Top Performance: Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah 

Worst Performance: Eddie Murphy, Coming 2 America

Top Ensemble: Judas and the Black Messiah 

Worst Ensemble: Moxie

Top Director: Shaka King, Judas and the Black Messiah 

Worst Director: Robert Lorenz, The Marksman 

Top Script: Will Berson and Shaka King, Judas and the Black Messiah 

Worst Script: Mark and Joseph Raso, Awake

Top Breakthrough Performance: Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holliday 

Top Directorial Debut: Ricky Staub, Concrete Cowboy

Top Cinematography: Marcell Rev, Malcolm & Marie

Top Score: Thomas Newman, The Little Things

Top Visual Effects: Godzilla vs. Kong

Top Action Sequence: "Metal Factory Fight", Nobody

Best Villain: Baroness von Hellmann (Emma Thompson), Cruella

Worst Villain: Mauricio (Juan Pablo Raba), The Marksman

Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Gina Rodriguez, Awake

Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Millie Bobby Brown, Godzilla vs. Kong

Best Overacting: Emma Stone, Cruella

Worst Overacting: Juan Pablo Raba, The Marksman

Movie I'm Most Excited to See in the Second Half of 2021: The Suicide Squad

2021 in Music: Mid Year Review

I'll be honest, this is the least enthused I've been about a musical year at the halfway mark since I started running this blog in the summer of 2010. Half baked, career low marks for veteran acts (Gojira, Foo Fighters, A Day to Remember) have emerged as a disturbingly prevalent trend while truly memorable releases that demand to be regularly revisited have been scarce (only 6 releases I've heard this year have earned a B+ or higher). 

On the plus side, this significant cluster of underwhelming/not overly special releases does set a very clearable bar for the July-December slate and with a slew of heavy-hitter artists including Between the Buried and Me, Lorde and Travis Scott set to release projects over the next 6 months, a swift shift in fortune could prove to be on the horizon. Below, you'll find album rankings, awards and assorted other pieces of 1st half of 2021 music-related silliness galore. Enjoy!

EP Rankings:

4.SeeYouSpaceCowboy.../If I Die First-A Sure Disaster (B)

3.21 Savage and Slaughter Gang-Spiral: From the Book of Saw Soundtrack (B)

2.Drake-Scary Hours 2 (B)

1.Gulch/Sunami-Split (B)

LP Rankings:

40.Trippie Redd and Travis Barker-NEON SHARK vs. Pegasus (D+)

39.black midi-Cavalcade (D+)

38.A Day to Remember-You're Welcome (C-)

37.Wolf Alice-Blue Weekend (C-)

36.SG Lewis-Times (C)

35.Dropkick Murphys-Turn Up That Dial (C)

34.Foo Fighters-Medicine at Midnight (C)

33.The Armed-Ultrapop (C)

32.Olivia Rodrigo-Sour (C)

31.God's Hate-God's Hate (C+)

30.24kGoldn-El Dorado (C+)

29.Gojria-Fortitude (B-)

28.Yautja-The Lurch (B-)

27.Weezer-OK Human (B-)

26.Depths of Hatred-Inheritance (B-)

25.Migos-Culture III (B-)

24.Japanese Breakfast-Jubilee (B-)

23.Abiotic-Ikigai (B-)

22.Pi'erre Bourne-The Life of Pi'erre 5 (B-)

21.Chevelle-Niratias (B-)

20.ERRA-ERRA (B)

19.Hail the Sun-New Age Filth (B)

18.Rob Zombie-The Lunar Injection Kool Aid Eclipse Conspiracy (B)

17.Royal Blood-Typhoons (B)

16.King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-Butterfly 3000 (B)

15.BROCKHAMPTON-ROADRUNNER: NEW LIGHT, NEW MACHINE (B)

14.slowthai-tyron (B)

13.Anna Pest-Dark Arms Reach Skyward With Bone White Fingers (B)

12.Genesis Owusu-Smiling with No Teeth (B)

11.Cannibal Corpse-Violence Unimagined (B)

10.St. Vincent-Daddy's Home (B)

9.RXK Nephew-Slitherman Activated (B)

8.Doja Cat-Planet Her (B)

7.While She Sleeps-Sleeps Society (B)

6.Pupil Slicer-Mirrors (B+)

5.Steel Bearing Hand-Slay in Hell (B+)

4.King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-L.W. (B+)

3.Tyler, the Creator-CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST (B+)

2.Lana Del Rey-Chemtrails over the Country Club (A-)

1.Brand of Sacrifice-Lifeblood (A)

Top 25 Songs (In Alphabetical Order by Artist):

21 Savage-Spiral 

Between the Buried and Me-Fix the Error

Brand of Sacrifice-Altered Eyes

Brand of Sacrifice-Animal

Brand of Sacrifice-Foe of the Inhuman (feat. Eric Vanlerberghe)

Brand of Sacrifice-Lifeblood

BROCKHAMPTON-Buzzcut (feat. Danny Brown)

Doja Cat-Kiss Me More (feat. SZA)

Doja Cat-Payday (feat. Young Thug)

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-Ataraxia 

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-O.N.E.

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-Supreme Ascendency 

Lana Del Rey-Chemtrails over the Country Club

Land Del Rey-Dark but Just a Game

Lana Del Rey-Wild at Heart

Lil Nas X-Call Me by Your Name (Montero)

Pupil Slicer-Martyrs 

slowthai-Mazza (feat. A$AP Rocky)

St. Vincent-Down

St. Vincent-The Melting of the Sun

Trippie Redd-Miss the Rage (feat. Playboi Carti)

Tyler, the Creator-Hot Wind Blows (feat. Lil Wayne)

Tyler, the Creator-Lemonhead (feat. 42 Dugg)

Tyler, the Creator-Manifesto (feat. Domo Genesis)

While She Sleeps-Enlightenment (?)

Mid-Year Awards:

Top Song: Doja Cat-"Kiss Me More" (feat. SZA)

Top Discovery: Brand of Sacrifice 

Top Comeback: Tyler, the Creator

Top Debut: Pupil Slicer-Mirrors 

Biggest Surprise: Tyler, the Creator-CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST

Biggest Letdown: A Day to Remember-You're Welcome

Biggest Step Up from Past Album: Tyler, the Creator-CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST

Biggest Regression from Past Album: A Day to Remember-You're Welcome

Album Most Likely to Rise Upon Subsequent Listens: Genesis Owusu-Smiling with No Teeth

Album Most Likely to Fall Upon Subsequent Listens: ERRA-ERRA

Biggest Grower After Initial Listen: King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-L.W.

Biggest Slide After Initial Listen: Abiotic-Ikigai

2nd Half Release I'm Most Excited For: Between the Buried and Me-Colors II 

Potentially Not Real Album That Could Kill Me If It's Actually Released by the End of the Year: SZA's 2nd LP