Monday, April 30, 2018

2018 NFL Draft Recap: Winners, Losers and Sleeper/Bust Speculation

Biggest Winners: Denver Broncos
Despite their struggles in 2017, it was pretty apparent that the Broncos were a team that needed to be retooled, not rebuilt and John Elway's moves in the draft reflected that line of thinking. Elway's strategy was a nice combination of addressing needs (running back Royce Freeman, inside linebacker Josey Jewell, tight end Troy Fumagalli) and adding depth/youth at their position of strengths (edge rusher Bradley Chubb, wide receivers Cortland Sutton and DaeSean Hamilton, cornerback Isaac Yiadom)-all while consistently getting good value throughout the draft. He also deserves credit for not feeling pressured to take a quarterback with the 5th overall pick, despite their abundance of woes at the position over the past 2 seasons. Free agent acquisition Case Keenum deserves a shot to prove his solid 2017 season with the Vikings wasn't a fluke and a well-rounded front 7 player like Chubb is a surer bet to help them get back on track after a miserable 5-11 2017 campaign than any of the QB's remaining on the board would've been.
Honorable Mentions: Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, Chicago Bears

Biggest Losers: Buffalo Bills
The Bills shocked the football world in 2017 by clinching their 1st playoff berth in 18 years. In his inaugural draft as the front office's shot caller, GM Brandon Beane did everything in his power to ensure it will be another 18 before they get back. While they made a couple of nice value picks (defensive tackle Harrison Phillips, guard Wyatt Teller) in the middle rounds, the rest of their draft was a head-scratching clusterfuck. Beane kicked things off with a bang by trading ahead of 3 teams that have their quarterback situations for at least the immediate future nailed down (Bears, 49ers, Raiders) to take 1x 2nd Team All-Mountain West selection Josh Allen, who surely won't be the next Jamarcus Russell or Josh Freeman, 7th overall. Naturally, he followed up that baffling move by using the team's other 1st round pick to trade up to #16 and take another wildly unpolished prospect in Virginia Tech inside linebacker Tremaine Edmunds. Day 3 didn't offer much solace from this unnecessary dice roll extravaganza as they spent most of their remaining resources on defensive backs from D1-A schools (Taron Johnson, Siran Neal) and receivers (Ray-Ray McCloud,Austin Proehl) who slipped through the cracks at ACC powerhouse programs. Those beautiful degenerate bastards in Bills Mafia deserve better than this and if I were a diehard fan of this seemingly cursed organization, I'd be livid with these drastic, poorly thought-out moves.    
Dishonorable Mentions: San Francisco 49ers, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders

Best Value Pick: Derwin James, safety (Selected 17th overall by the Los Angeles Chargers)
As I mentioned in my Mock Draft piece last week, every year has a player that slides for no legitimate reason at all. In 2018, that man was Derwin James. The Florida State product has the versatility, instincts and coverage skills to potentially be a godsend for a Chargers secondary that is a playmaking safety away from being an elite unit.
Honorable Mentions: Josh Jackson, cornerback (Selected 45th overall by the Green Bay Packers), Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Selected 50th overall by the Dallas Cowboys), Will Hernandez, guard (Selected 34th overall by the New York Giants)

Worst Value Pick: Josh Allen, quarterback (Selected 7th overall by the Buffalo Bills)
Spending a top 10 pick on a quarterback that boasts as many on-field red flags as Allen is downright reckless. If you look past his ability to throw a ball 10,000 yards through the air, you'd see a guy that struggled with accuracy, decisionmaking and consistency at the University of Wyoming, which isn't exactly a powerhouse in the world of college football. I'll be stunned if the contingent of Bills fans that were calling for Tyrod Taylor's head over the last few seasons aren't wishing he was still under center by mid-October when Allen has repeatedly skied the ball over the heads of his receivers and yacked all over his cleats in crunchtime situations.
Dishonorable Mentions: Kolton Miller, tackle (Selected 15th overall by the Oakland Raiders), Tremaine Edmunds, inside linebacker (Selected 16th overall by the Buffalo Bills), Terrell Edmunds, safety (Selected 30th overall by the Pittsburgh Steelers)

10 Biggest Sleepers:
1.Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, edge rusher (Selected 160th overall by the Los Angeles Rams)
2.Tyrell Crosby, tackle/guard (Selected 153rd overall by the Detroit Lions)
3.Josey Jewell, inside linebacker (Selected 106th overall by the Denver Broncos)
4.Nick Nelson, cornerback (Selected 110th overall by the Oakland Raiders)
5.Equanemious St.Brown, wide receiver (Selected 207th overall by the Green Bay Packers)
6.Duke Ejiofor, edge rusher (Selected 177th overall by the Houston Texans)
7.Tim Settle, defensive tackle (Selected 163rd overall by the Washington Redskins)
8.Wyatt Teller, guard (Selected 166th overall by the Buffalo Bills)
9.Parry Nickerson, cornerback (Selected 179th overall by the New York Jets)
10.DeShon Elliott, safety (Selected 190th overall by the Baltimore Ravens)

10 Biggest Potential Busts:
1.Josh Allen, quarterback (Selected 7th overall by the Buffalo Bills)
2.Tremaine Edmunds, inside linebacker (Selected 16th overall by the Buffalo Bills)
3.Terrell Edmunds, safety (Selected 30th overall by the Pittsburgh Steelers)
4.Kolton Miller, tackle (Selected 15th overall by the Oakland Raiders)
5.Hayden Hurst, tight end (Selected 25th overall by the Baltimore Ravens)
6.Dante Pettis, wide receiver (Selected 44th overall by the San Francisco 49ers)
7.Darius Leonard, linebacker (Selected 36th overall by the Indianapolis Colts)
8.Breeland Speaks, edge rusher (Selected 46th overall by the Kansas City Chiefs)
9.Christian Kirk, wide receiver (Selected 47th overall by the Arizona Cardinals)
10.Duke Dawson, cornerback (Selected 56th overall by the New England Patriots)

Overall Grades: 
(Full draft classes can be found here: www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000930225/article/2018-nfl-draft-final-quicksnap-grades-for-all-32-teams)
Arizona Cardinals: B
Atlanta Falcons: B
Baltimore Ravens: B+
Buffalo Bills: D+
Carolina Panthers: B
Chicago Bears: A-
Cincinnati Bengals: B+
Cleveland Browns: B+
Dallas Cowboys: B+
Denver Broncos: A
Detroit Lions: B
Green Bay Packers: A
Houston Texans: B+
Indianapolis Colts: B-
Jacksonville Jaguars: B+
Kansas City Chiefs: C+
Los Angeles Chargers: B
Los Angeles Rams: B
Miami Dolphins: B+
Minnesota Vikings: B-
New England Patriots: B
New Orleans Saints: B-
New York Giants: A-
New York Jets: B
Oakland Raiders: C+
Philadelphia Eagles: B
Pittsburgh Steelers: B
San Francisco 49ers: C
Seattle Seahawks: B
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: B+
Tennessee Titans: B
Washington Redskins: B

Sunday, April 29, 2018

2018 NFL Draft: Top 50 Overall Prospects+5 Best Players at Each Position (Updated with NFL Landing Spots)

Overall Prospects:
1.Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State) Selected 2nd overall by the New York Giants
2.Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame) Selected 6th overall by the Indianapolis Colts
3.Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia) Selected 8th overall by the Chicago Bears
4.Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State) Selected 4th overall by the Cleveland Browns
5.Derwin James, safety (Florida State) Selected 17th overall by the Los Angeles Chargers
6.Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State) Selected 5th overall by the Denver Broncos
7.Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington) Selected 12th overall by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
8.Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame) Selected 9th overall by the San Francisco 49ers
9.Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa) Selected 45th overall by the Green Bay Packers
10.Frank Ragnow, center (Arkansas) Selected 20th overall by the Detroit Lions
11.Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC) Selected 3rd overall by the New York Jets
12.Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma) Selected 1st overall by the Cleveland Browns
13.Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville) Selected 18th overall by the Green Bay Packers
14.Isaiah Wynn, guard/tackle (Georgia) Selected 23rd overall by the New England Patriots
15.Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas) Selected 50th overall by the Dallas Cowboys
16.Derrius Guice, running back (LSU) Selected 59th overall by the Washington Redskins
17.Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA) Selected 10th overall by the Arizona Cardinals
18.Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio) Selected 14th overall by the New Orleans Saints
19.Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP) Selected 34th overall by the New York Giants
20.Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety/cornerback (Alabama) Selected 11th overall by the Miami Dolphins
21.Dallas Goedert, tight end (South Dakota State) Selected 49th overall by the Philadelphia Eagles
22.Cortland Sutton, wide receiver (SMU) Selected 40th overall by the Denver Broncos
23.Nick Chubb, running back (Georgia) Selected 35th overall by the Cleveland Browns
24.Harold Landry, edge rusher (Boston College) Selected 41st overall by the Tennessee Titans
25.Taven Bryan, defensive tackle (Florida) Selected 29th overall by the Jacksonville Jaguars
26.Donte Jackson, cornerback (LSU) Selected 55th overall by the Carolina Panthers
27.Ronald Jones, running back (USC) Selected 38th overall by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
28.Isaiah Oliver, cornerback (Colorado) Selected 58th overall by the Atlanta Falcons
29.Ronnie Harrison, safety (Alabama) Selected 93rd overall by the Jacksonville Jaguars
30.Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan) Selected 140th overall by the Oakland Raiders
31.Billy Price, center/guard (Ohio State) Selected 21st overall by the Cincinnati Bengals
32.Mike Gesicki, tight end (Penn State) Selected 42nd overall by the Miami Dolphins
33.Da'Ron Payne, defensive tackle (Alabama) Selected 13th overall by the Washington Redskins
34.Mike Hughes, cornerback (UCF) Selected 30th overall by the Minnesota Vikings
35.Calvin Ridley, wide receiver (Alabama) Selected 26th overall by the Atlanta Falcons
36.James Washington, wide receiver (Oklahoma State) Selected 60th overall by the Pittsburgh Steelers
37.Leighton Vander Esch, inside linebacker (Boise State) Selected 19th overall by the Dallas Cowboys
38.Jessie Bates, safety (Wake Forest) Selected 54th overall by the Cincinnati Bengals
39.Sony Michel, running back (Georgia) Selected 31st overall by the New England Patriots
40.Rashaan Evans, inside linebacker (Alabama) Selected 22nd overall by the Tennessee Titans
41.Mason Rudolph, quarterback (Oklahoma State) Selected 76th overall by the Pittsburgh Steelers
42.Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, edge rusher (Oklahoma) Selected 160th overall by the Los Angeles Rams
43.Anthony Miller, wide receiver (Memphis) Selected 51st overall by the Chicago Bears
44.Rashaad Penny, running back (San Diego State) Selected 27th overall by the Seattle Seahawks
45.D.J. Moore, wide receiver (Maryland) Selected 24th overall by the Carolina Panthers
46.James Daniels, center (Iowa) Selected 39th overall by the Chicago Bears
47.Tyrell Crosby, tackle/guard (Oregon) Selected 153rd overall by the Detroit Lions
48.Mark Andrews, tight end (Oklahoma) Selected 86th overall by the Baltimore Ravens
49.Josey Jewell, inside linebacker (Iowa) Selected 106th overall by the Denver Broncos
50.Justin Reid, safety (Stanford) Selected 68th overall by the Houston Texans

Top 5 Prospects by Position:
Quarterback:
1.Sam Darnold (USC) NFL team: New York Jets
2.Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma) NFL team: Cleveland Browns
3.Josh Rosen (UCLA) NFL team: Arizona Cardinals
4.Mason Rudolph (Oklahoma State) NFL team: Pittsburgh Steelers
5.Lamar Jackson (Louisville) NFL team: Baltimore Ravens

Running Back:
1.Saquon Barkley (Penn State) NFL team: New York Giants
2.Derrius Guice (LSU) NFL team: Washington Redskins
3.Nick Chubb (Georgia) NFL team: Cleveland Browns
4.Ronald Jones (USC) NFL team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
5.Sony Michel (Georgia) NFL team: New England Patriots

Wide Receiver:
1.Cortland Sutton (SMU) NFL team: Denver Broncos
2.Calvin Ridley (Alabama) NFL team: Atlanta Falcons
3.James Washington (Oklahoma State) NFL team: Pittsburgh Steelers
4.Anthony Miller (Memphis) NFL team: Chicago Bears
5.D.J. Moore (Maryland) NFL team: Carolina Panthers

Tight End:
1.Dallas Goedert (South Dakota State) NFL team: Philadelphia Eagles
2.Mike Gesicki (Penn State) NFL team: Miami Dolphins
3.Mark Andrews (Oklahoma) NFL team: Baltimore Ravens
4.Hayden Hurst (South Carolina) NFL team: Baltimore Ravens
5.Chris Herndon (Miami) NFL team: New York Jets

Tackle:
1.Mike McGlinchey (Notre Dame) NFL team: San Francisco 49ers
2.Connor Williams (Texas) NFL team:  Dallas Cowboys
3.Tyrell Crosby (Oregon) NFL team: Detroit Lions
4.Kolton Miller (UCLA) NFL team: Oakland Raiders
5.Jamarco Jones (Ohio State) NFL team: Seattle Seahawks

Guard:
1.Quenton Nelson (Notre Dame) NFL team: Indianapolis Colts
2.Isaiah Wynn (Georgia) NFL team: New England Patriots
3.Will Hernandez (UTEP) NFL team: New York Giants
4.Braden Smith (Auburn) NFL team: Indianapolis Colts
5.Wyatt Teller (Virginia Tech) NFL team: Buffalo Bills

Center:
1.Frank Ragnow (Arkansas) NFL team: Detroit Lions
2.Billy Price (Ohio State) NFL team: Cincinnati Bengals
3.James Daniels (Iowa) NFL team: Chicago Bears
4.Austin Corbett (Nevada) NFL team: Cleveland Browns
5.Will Clapp (LSU) NFL team: New Orleans Saints

Edge Rusher:
1.Bradley Chubb (NC State) NFL team: Denver Broncos
2.Marcus Davenport (Texas San-Antonio) NFL team: New Orleans Saints
3.Harold Landry (Boston College) NFL team: Tennessee Titans
4.Ogbonnia Okoronkwo (Oklahoma) NFL team: Los Angeles Rams
5.Sam Hubbard (Ohio State) NFL team: Cincinnati Bengals

Defensive Tackle:
1.Vita Vea (Washington) NFL team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
2.Taven Bryan (Florida) NFL team: Jacksonville Jaguars
3.Maurice Hurst (Michigan) NFL team: Oakland Raiders
4.Da'Ron Payne (Alabama) NFL team: Washington Redskins
5.Harrison Phillips (Stanford) NFL team: Buffalo Bills

Inside Linebacker:
1.Roquan Smith (Georgia) NFL team: Chicago Bears
2.Leighton Vander Esch (Boise State) NFL team: Dallas Cowboys
3.Rashaan Evans (Alabama) NFL team: Tennessee Titans
4.Josey Jewell (Iowa) NFL team: Denver Broncos
5.Oren Burks (Vanderbilt) NFL team: Green Bay Packers

Cornerback:
1.Denzel Ward (Ohio State) NFL team: Cleveland Browns
2.Josh Jackson (Iowa) NFL team: Green Bay Packers
3.Jaire Alexander (Louisville) NFL team: Green Bay Packers
4.Donte Jackson (LSU) NFL team: Carolina Panthers
5.Isaiah Oliver (Colorado) NFL team: Atlanta Falcons

Safety:
1.Derwin James (Florida State) NFL team: Los Angeles Chargers
2.Minkah Fitzpatrick (Alabama) NFL team: Miami Dolphins
3.Ronnie Harrison (Alabama) NFL team: Jacksonville Jaguars
4.Jessie Bates (Wake Forest) NFL team: Cincinnati Bengals
5.Justin Reid (Stanford) NFL team: Houston Texans

Saturday, April 28, 2018

2018 NFL Draft: 25 Best Day 3 Prospects

1.Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan)
2.Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, edge rusher (Oklahoma)
3.Equanimeous St.Brown, wide receiver (Notre Dame)
4.Tyrell Crosby, tackle (Oregon)
5.Josey Jewell, inside linebacker (Iowa)
6.Duke Ejiofor, edge rusher (Wake Forest)
7.Nick Nelson, cornerback (Wisconsin)
8.Jamarco Jones, tackle (Ohio State)
9.Tim Settle, defensive tackle (Virginia Tech)
10.Skai Moore, inside linebacker (South Carolina)
11.Will Clapp, center/guard (LSU)
12.Da'Shawn Hand, edge rusher (Alabama)
13.Kyzir White, safety (West Virginia)
14.Wyatt Teller, guard (Virginia Tech)
15.Kyle Lauletta, quarterback (Richmond)
16.Parry Nickerson, cornerback (Tulane)
17.Quin Blanding, safety (Virginia)
18.Marcell Ateman, wide receiver (Oklahoma State)
19.Chris Herndon, tight end (Miami)
20.Greg Stroman, cornerback (Virginia Tech)
21.Mark Walton, running back (Miami)
22.Hercules Mata'afa, edge rusher (Washington State)
23.Troy Fumagalli, tight end (Wisconsin)
24.Mike White, quarterback (Western Kentucky)
25.Damon Webb, safety (Ohio State)

Thursday, April 26, 2018

2018 NFL Draft: Top 50 Overall Prospects+5 Best Players at Each Position

Top 50 Overall Prospects:
1.Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State)
2.Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame)
3.Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia)
4.Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State)
5.Derwin James, safety (Florida State)
6.Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State)
7.Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington)
8.Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame)
9.Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa)
10.Frank Ragnow, center (Arkansas)
11.Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC)
12.Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma)
13.Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville)
14.Isaiah Wynn, guard (Georgia)
15.Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas)
16.Derrius Guice, running back (LSU)
17.Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA)
18.Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio)
19.Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP)
20.Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety/cornerback (Alabama)
21.Dallas Goedert, tight end (South Dakota State)
22.Cortland Sutton, wide receiver (SMU)
23.Nick Chubb, running back (Georgia)
24.Harold Landry, edge rusher (Boston College)
25.Taven Bryan, defensive tackle (Florida)
26.Donte Jackson, cornerback (LSU)
27.Ronald Jones, running back (USC)
28.Isaiah Oliver, cornerback (Colorado)
29.Ronnie Harrison, safety (Alabama)
30.Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan)
31.Billy Price, center/guard (Ohio State)
32.Mike Gesicki, tight end (Penn State)
33.Da'Ron Payne, defensive tackle (Alabama)
34.Mike Hughes, cornerback (UCF)
35.Calvin Ridley, wide receiver (Alabama)
36.James Washington, wide receiver (Oklahoma State)
37.Leighton Vander Esch, inside linebacker (Boise State)
38.Jessie Bates, safety (Wake Forest)
39.Sony Michel, running back (Georgia)
40.Rashaan Evans, inside linebacker (Alabama)
41.Mason Rudolph, quarterback (Oklahoma State)
42.Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, edge rusher (Oklahoma)
43.Anthony Miller, wide receiver (Memphis)
44.Rashaad Penny, running back (San Diego State)
45.D.J. Moore, wide receiver (Maryland)
46.James Daniels, center (Iowa)
47.Equanemious St. Brown, wide receiver (Notre Dame)
48.Tyrell Crosby, tackle (Oregon)
49.Mark Andrews, tight end (Oklahoma)
50.Josey Jewell, inside linebacker (Iowa)

Top 5 Prospects by Position:
Quarterback:
1.Sam Darnold (USC)
2.Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma)
3.Josh Rosen (UCLA)
4.Mason Rudolph (Oklahoma State)
5.Lamar Jackson (Louisville)

Running Back:
1.Saquon Barkley (Penn State)
2.Derrius Guice (LSU)
3.Nick Chubb (Georgia)
4.Ronald Jones (USC)
5.Sony Michel (Georgia)

Wide Receiver:
1.Cortland Sutton (SMU)
2.Calvin Ridley (Alabama)
3.James Washington (Oklahoma State)
4.Anthony Miller (Memphis)
5.D.J. Moore (Maryland)

Tight End:
1.Dallas Goedert (South Dakota State)
2.Mike Gesicki (Penn State)
3.Mark Andrews (Oklahoma)
4.Hayden Hurst (South Carolina)
5.Chris Herndon (Miami)

Tackle:
1.Mike McGlinchey (Notre Dame)
2.Connor Williams (Texas)
3.Tyrell Crosby (Oregon)
4.Kolton Miller (UCLA)
5.Jamarco Jones (Ohio State)

Guard:
1.Quenton Nelson (Notre Dame)
2.Isaiah Wynn (Georgia)
3.Will Hernandez (UTEP)
4.Braden Smith (Auburn)
5.Wyatt Teller (Virginia Tech)

Center:
1.Frank Ragnow (Arkansas)
2.Billy Price (Ohio State)
3.James Daniels (Iowa)
4.Austin Corbett (Nevada)
5.Will Clapp (LSU)

Edge Rusher (Defensive End/Outside Linebacker):
1.Bradley Chubb (NC State)
2.Marcus Davenport (Texas San-Antonio)
3.Harold Landry (Boston College)
4.Ogbonnia Okoronkwo (Oklahoma)
5.Sam Hubbard (Ohio State)

Defensive Tackle:
1.Vita Vea (Washington)
2.Taven Bryan (Florida)
3.Maurice Hurst (Michigan)
4.Da'Ron Payne (Alabama)
5.Harrison Phillips (Stanford)

Inside Linebacker:
1.Roquan Smith (Georgia)
2.Leighton Vander Esch (Boise State)
3.Rashaan Evans (Alabama)
4.Josey Jewell (Iowa)
5.Tremaine Edmunds (Virginia Tech)

Cornerback:
1.Denzel Ward (Ohio State)
2.Josh Jackson (Iowa)
3.Jaire Alexander (Louisville)
4.Donte Jackson (LSU)
5.Isaiah Oliver (Colorado)

Safety:
1.Derwin James (Florida State)
2.Minkah Fitzpatrick (Alabama)
3.Ronnie Harrison (Alabama)
4.Jessie Bates (Wake Forest)
5.Justin Reid (Stanford)

2018 NFL Mock Draft 6.0 (Draft Day)

1.Cleveland Browns: Josh Allen, quarterback (Wyoming)
The great debate about what quarterback will have the distinct pleasure of having their career ruined... I mean get drafted by the Cleveland Browns has raged on for months. Will long-projected 1st overall pick Sam Darnold fulfill his destiny or can big-hand behemoth Josh Allen build on months of "HE HAS ALL THE TOOLS" buzz in scouting circles to steal his thunder? While it's certainly conceivable that Browns brass are considering taking either of these guys (or perhaps Baker Mayfield if you believe Adam Schefter's report from Tuesday morning), I'm inclined to think this "no one knows who they're going to chose" narrative is a classic misdirection tactic. GM John Dorsey is the type of guy that swoons over tall, unpolished quarterbacks who can sling the ball downfield (evidenced by his decision to trade up to select Patrick Mahomes last season when he was with the Chiefs) and Allen fits that mold better than just about any other prospect in the past decade.

2.New York Giants: Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State)
You always have to account for the wild card factor with a front office that's headed by Dave Gettleman, but Barkley just makes the most sense for this team right now. Barkley is a potentially elite 3-down back that could help make the back 9 of Eli Manning's career a lot more pleasant by giving this offense a much-needed versatile playmaker out of the backfield.

3.New York Jets: Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC)
The Jets quarterback room, which currently consists of Josh McCown, Bryce Petty, Christian Hackenburg and free agent pickup Teddy Bridgewater, is about to get even more crowded. Multiple reports have stated that the powers that be in East Rutherford love Baker Mayfield, but I'd be pretty surprised if they passed up an opportunity to take Darnold-who possesses similar upside without Mayfield's potential personality baggage.  

4.Cleveland Browns: Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State)
Having a pair of top 5 selections in a draft where QB's are a hot commodity is quite the luxury for the Browns. This team still needs to improve at pretty much every position and barring some truly wild shit unfolding in the 2 picks prior to this one, they'll have a deep pool of potential blue chip players to pick from. Myles Garrett's strong rookie season makes it unlikely that Bradley Chubb will be in the mix here, so I'm going to commit a blind dart throw and say that Ward will be on his way to the Dawg Pound. Ward is a fearless, physical corner with tremendous ball skills that reminds me a lot of his former college teammate Marshon Lattimore and could really help this suspect secondary that has gotten consistently destroyed by Antonio Brown and A.J. Green over the years improve right away.

5.Denver Broncos: Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma)
Just because the Broncos signed Case Keenum to a multi-year contract in free agency doesn't mean that they aren't still in the market for a quarterback. There's no chance in hell John Elway has an issue with Mayfield's unapologetic arrogance plus the reigning Heisman winner's accuracy, decisionmaking and pocket awareness will undoubtedly intrigue him after watching sloppy QB play derail his otherwise pretty talented team over the past 2 seasons.

6.Indianapolis Colts: Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State)
Even with the additional picks they picked when they swamped places with the Jets, it remains a strong possibility that the Colts will trade down once again to acquire even more picks to help jumpstart their rebuilding process. If Chris Ballard decides to stay put at #6, Chubb seems like the obvious choice. With his well-rounded game and exceptional athleticism, Chubb could give the Colts the disruptive front 7 presence they desperately need to compete in the suddenly loaded AFC South.

7.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety/cornerback (Alabama)
The Bucs surrendered the most passing yards in the league last season, but luckily for them, they've got a host of decorated defensive backs they can chose from at #7. While Derwin James, Jaire Alexander and Josh Jackson have arguably generated buzz during the latter stages of the predraft process, the consistency, range and football IQ Fitzpatrick flashed during his time at Alabama makes him the favorite to land in Tampa.

8.Chicago Bears: Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame)
Every move Ryan Pace has made since the start of the free agency has been designed to aid the development of 2nd-year quarterback Mitch Trubisky and I don't expect that to change on draft night. The Bears are currently in the market for a new starting left guard after severing ties with 32-year old Pro Bowler Josh Sitton and if he's available when they're on the clock, I expect Quenton Nelson will be the guy to step into that role. Nelson is quite possibly the most touted interior line prospect of this decade so far and the presence of his college offensive line coach Harry Halstead on the Bears staff should increase his odds of living up to his off-the-charts potential.

9.San Francisco 49ers: Derwin James, safety (Florida State)
After being gift-wrapped Jimmy Garoppolo at the trade deadline last October, the 49ers can now turn their attention to adding complementary pieces in the draft. The back end of their defense has been a fatal flaw since Jim Harbaugh left town and with their decision to not retain longtime starter Eric Reid, their safety situation is particularly dire. Boasting strong zone coverage skills, sure tackling and a willingness to handle any assignment you throw at him, James is a jack knife that could bring a much-needed playmaking presence to their woeful secondary.

10.Oakland Raiders: Tremaine Edmunds, inside linebacker (Virginia Tech)
I'd be stunned if the inaugural selection of Jon Gruden's comeback tour wasn't salacious. This guy didn't return to the sidelines after a decade-long hiatus with the intent of making sensible decisions that are met with universal kudos from the NFL community. While I'm not ruling out whatever the 2018 equivalent of Al Davis picking Darrius Heyward-Bey with the 7th overall pick would be, Edmunds seems like the perfect, headline-grabbing "I'M BACK GUYS" move for the godfather of Spider Y-2 Banana. Taking a freakishly athletic yet completely unrefined inside linebacker who doesn't turn 20 until next month with a top 10 pick is a ballsy move that will either make you look like a genius or a total jabroni in 3-4 years time.

11.Miami Dolphins: Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington)
Considering all of the house cleaning they've done since the start of the new league year, you have to believe that the Dolphins will consider taking a quarterback to succeed Ryan Tannehill with this pick. Ultimately, I think they'll give the injury-prone Tannehill another crack at being the uncontested starter and try to fill some of the other holes they created with their flurry of personnel moves last month by bringing in a potential defensive force like Vea. While stepping into a role that was previously held by a hard-nosed wrecking ball in Ndmuakong Suh is incredibly intimidating, Vea has the strength and short-area quickness to blossom into a successful interior defensive lineman in the NFL.

12.Buffalo Bills: Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA)
In a not-so-shocking development considering the fickle nature of many NFL owners, Rosen's outspoken criticism on numerous taboo subjects such as the NCAA's treatment of its athletes, the current President of the United States and losing culture that surrounds the Cleveland Browns has caused him to slip down draft boards. This puzzling tumble could end up being the blessing that the Bills, who have been aggressively trying to trade into the top 5 to select a possible franchise QB since they acquired the #12 pick from the Bengals last month, never expected to happen. Rosen's intelligence, quick release and track record of exceling without top-tier talent around him give him a legitimate chance to have the best pro career of any quarterback in this lauded draft class.

13.Washington Redskins: Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville)
Alexander has been flying up the draft boards in recent weeks and if you put on his tape, it's easy to see why. His footwork, quickness and ability to track and make plays on the ball might be better than anyone else in this deep corner class. That skill set make him a very appealing option for a Redskins squad that currently has a staggering lack of depth behind top dog Josh Norman and just dealt promising young gun Kendall Fuller to the Chiefs in the Alex Smith trade.

14.Green Bay Packers: Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio)
The Packers pass-rush has been a problem for years and now that Dom Capers and Ted Thompson are out of the equation, it seems like they might actually use high-level assets to address it. Davenport's technique needs some work and his lack of experience against top-tier Division 1 competition in college is a bit concerning, but his high motor and excellent Senior Bowl performance suggests that he could turn into a force at the next level.

15.Arizona Cardinals: Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame)
Thanks to the retirement of Carson Palmer and surprising release of safety Tyrann Mathieu this offseason, the gaping holes across the Cardinals offensive line have gone relatively unnoticed. With their commitment to start Sam Bradford in 2018, they're going to need to try and stop him from spontaneously combusting on the field by addressing their o-line in the draft and McGlinchey, who is the cleanest prospect available at this juncture, provides them with the best chance of preventing (or more likely, delaying) that on-field fatality from happening. McGlinchey's consistently strong run-blocking, solid pass-protection and experience lining up at both tackle spots would make him an ideal option for a group that appears primed to be erratic as hell for the foreseeable future.

16.Baltimore Ravens: Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia)
Just about every draft has a highly-regarded player with no off-the-field issues that slides down the board for some inexplicable reason. Based on nothing besides my gut feeling, Roquan Smith strikes me as that guy this year. Inside linebacker is nowhere near the top of the Ravens list of needs, but I just can't see a well-coached, defensive-minded team passing on an opportunity to land a player that has as much as star potential as Smith does.

17.Los Angeles Chargers: Taven Bryan, defensive tackle (Florida)
The Chargers painfully inept rushing defense (142 rushing yards per game, 31st in the league) played a pivotal role in the death of their playoff hopes during the 2017 season. Plugging a quick, hard-nosed mauler like Taven Bryan into their interior defensive line rotation would be a welcome first step towards building a front that might be able to slow down an opponent's rushing attack from time to time.

18.Seattle Seahawks: Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa)
Following the departures of Jeremy Lane, DeShawn Shead and Richard Sherman this offseason, the Seahawks corner group is going to be full of new faces the next time they hit the field. Long, aggressive ballhawk Josh Jackson is a perfect scheme fit that could help this retooled secondary hit the ground running in 2018.

19.Dallas Cowboys: Calvin Ridley, wide receiver (Alabama)
Jerry Jones' decision to move on from Dez Bryant earlier this month makes wide receiver even more of priority for a team that was already lacking weapons for Dak Prescott to throw to. While I wouldn't be surprised if speedster D.J. Moore or jump-ball specialist Cortland Sutton ended up with a star on their helmet, Calvin Ridley's SEC pedigree and noted route-running prowess gives him the slight edge over the rest of the top WR's in this polarizing class.

20.Detroit Lions: Harold Landry, edge rusher (Boston College)
With top sack artist Ziggy Ansah only under contract for 1 more season, the Lions long-term defensive end/outside linebacker situation is pretty murky. Adding Harold Landry, who has the most pure pass-rushing potential in this year's draft, to their front 7 should steadily improve their edge defense this season while also giving them a capable successor to Ansah if he fails to sign a long-term deal with the team.

21.Cincinnati Bengals: James Daniels, center (Iowa)
All indications out of Cincinnati seem to point to the Bengals zeroing in on an offensive lineman in the 1st round, which make sense considering how much they struggled upfront in 2017. While Arkansas product Frank Ragnow has a better college track record and is currently climbing up draft boards, I believe that Daniels' superior athleticism will make him a more appealing option for the Bengals.

22.Buffalo Bills: Isaiah Wynn, guard (Georgia)
The brutal comedown from the surreal high that the Bills experienced after clinching their 1st playoff berth since the Clinton administration has been expedited this offseason in large part due to the departures of 3 of their starting offensive lineman (left tackle Cordy Glenn, left guard Richie Incognito, center Eric Wood) from last year's team. This mass exodus has created a really shitty situation for the Bills offense and could ultimately force them to table their desire to trade up and select their quarterback of the future. If the Bills don't end up giving away this pick in a trade, Wynn has the polish and versatility to potentially soften the devastating blows this o-line has suffered over the past few months.

23.New England Patriots: Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas)
Nate Solder's not-so-surprising departure in free agency has left the increasingly important role of protecting Tom Brady's blind side vacant. As stubborn as Bill Belichick is, I don't see him entrusting LaAdrian Waddle or 2nd year-guy Antonio Garcia, who spent his entire rookie season on IR, with that job on a full-basis going into the 2018 season. Despite the injuries and bouts of inconsistent play that somewhat derailed his final year at Texas, Williams has enough intriguing physical tools (quick feet, good hand use, serious mean streak) that could be parlayed into something special by their masterful o-line coach Dante Scarnecchia to be viewed as a long-term option at a position that is incredibly hard to find quality talent at.

24.Carolina Panthers: D.J. Moore, wide receiver (Maryland)
The shocking mid-season trade of Kelvin Benjamin left a massive hole in the Panthers aerial attack that the likes of Curtis Samuel, Russell Shepard and Kaelin Clay just couldn't fill in the latter stages of last season. D.J. Moore could put an end to this pressing receiver problem that has plagued the offensively-challenged Panthers since their Super Bowl loss in 2015. Moore's speed and post-catch ability would make him an ideal complement to their tall, physical top receiver Devin Funchess.

25.Tennessee Titans: Sam Hubbard, edge rusher (Ohio State)
With Chubb, Davenport and Landry all likely to be off the board by the time they choose, the edge rush-needy Titans are going to be forced to put their gambling hats on earlier than they expected. In a sea of raw prospects, Hubbard's exceptional size (6"5, 270 lbs), strength and proficiency against the run make him a particularly intriguing dice roll.

26.Atlanta Falcons: Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan)
While there's no denying their notable improvement over the past 2 seasons, the Falcons still have some glaring they need to address before they can be considered a great defense. Even with the medical red flags that prevented him from participating in drills at the Scouting Combine, Hurst's devastating first-step and knack for causing problems at the line of scrimmage makes him a worthwhile risk for a Falcons team whose defensive interior has gotten manhandled by the strong offensive lines and rushing attacks of their rivals in the NFC South.

27.New Orleans Saints: Hayden Hurst, tight end (South Carolina)
Drew Brees presumably signed the final contract of his career in March and I can't think of a better way to celebrate the start of his closing act as Saints QB than selecting another vertical threat to put next to rising star wideout Michael Thomas. Hurst is a Jimmy Graham-esque slot receiver in a tight end's body that could turn into a god damn force of nature in this diverse uptempo offense.

28.Pittsburgh Steelers: Leighton Vander Esch, inside linebacker (Boise State)
The absence of inside linebacker Ryan Shazier following a spinal cord injury that almost left him paralyzed last December opened up a massive void in the middle of the Steelers defense that caused them to flat-out implode down the stretch. With Shazier's career possibly in jeopardy, bringing in Vander Esch would make a lot of sense. Vander Esch's ability to fly around the field and change direction on a whim make him an ideal candidate to make up for the loss of Shazier's valuable sideline-to-sideline playmaking ability in Keith Butler's zone-heavy scheme.

29.Jacksonville Jaguars: Dallas Goedert, tight end (South Dakota State)
A lack of reliable options in the passing game was a huge detriment to the Jaguars Cinderella playoff run last season. While Tom Coughlin has brought in a couple of serviceable veterans (Donte Moncrief, Austin Seferian-Jenkins) this offseason that should help them combat the problem, Goedert has the potential to turn into the physical, acrobatic catch-making matchup nightmare the Jags need to diversify their offense. The South Dakota State product has the size and body control to make contested redzone catches and also has some showed some real promise as a blocker, which would be great for a team with a young bellcow back that had some issues with consistently open rushing lanes in 2017.

30.Minnesota Vikings: Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP)
The retirement of longtime center/guard Joe Berger is a significant loss for an offensive line that was quietly one of the sharpest in the league in 2017. While Hernandez likely won't be able to fill Berger's leadership role right away, he's a tough player with a sky-high celling that should keep $84 million man Kirk Cousins from getting killed up the middle during his inaugural year as the Vikings starting quarterback while also opening up some nice holes for his running backs.

31.New England Patriots: Mason Rudolph, quarterback (Oklahoma State)
Bill Belichick didn't go out and secure a 2nd 1st-round pick with the intention of bolstering his defense or offensive line. The man is livid about how the situation with Jimmy Garoppolo went down and it would be a staggering upset if he didn't use one of these picks (or package them to trade up) to select a quarterback. The leak about Lamar Jackson's secret pre-draft visit this past weekend has created quite the sir among the media, but unless future head coach Josh McDaniels is smitten with the 2016 Heisman Winner out of Louisville, I just don't see him ending up in a Patriots uniform. Rudolph fits the tall, accurate pocket passer prototype Belichick has favored during his entire tenure in New England and while I'm not going to pretend he has the same upside as Garoppolo, he could turn into a damn fine successor to Tom Brady if he continues to fine-tune his game.

32.Philadelphia Eagles: Donte Jackson, cornerback (LSU)
I initially had Mike Hughes slotted here, but I'd be surprised if Howie Roseman was willing to use a high pick on a guy with legal red flags while the bizarre Daryl Worley incident is still fresh in his mind. Jackson's top-end speed, strong coverage skills and fearless playing style would make him a welcome addition to a defensive back group that just lost its excellent slot corner Patrick Robinson in free agency.

Second Round:
33.Cleveland Browns: Kolton Miller, tackle (UCLA)
34.New York Giants: Frank Ragnow, center (Arkansas)
35.Cleveland Browns: Da'Ron Payne, defensive tackle (Alabama)
36.Indianapolis Colts: Mike Hughes, cornerback (UCF)
37.Indianapolis Colts: Rashaad Penny, running back (San Diego State)
38.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Sony Michel, running back (Georgia)
39.Chicago Bears: Cortland Sutton, wide receiver (SMU)
40.Denver Broncos: Derrius Guice, running back (LSU)
41.Oakland Raiders: Harrison Phillips, defensive tackle (Stanford)
42.Miami Dolphins: Lamar Jackson, quarterback (Louisville)
43.New England Patriots: Rashaan Evans, inside linebacker (Alabama)
44.Washington Redskins: Lorenzo Carter, edge rusher (Georgia)
45.Green Bay Packers: Isaiah Oliver, cornerback (Colorado)
46.Cincinnati Bengals: Ronnie Harrison, safety (Alabama)
47.Arizona Cardinals: Christian Kirk, wide receiver (Texas A&M)
48.Los Angeles Chargers: Justin Reid, safety (Stanford)
49.Indianapolis Colts: Tyrell Crosby, tackle (Oregon)
50.Dallas Cowboys: Josey Jewell, inside linebacker (Iowa)
51.Detroit Lions: Mike Gesicki, tight end (Penn State)
52.Baltimore Ravens: Kyle Lauletta, quarterback (Richmond)
53.Buffalo Bills: Brian O'Neill, tackle (Pittsburgh)
54.Kansas City Chiefs: Arden Key, edge rusher (LSU)
55.Carolina Panthers: Billy Price, center/guard (Ohio State)
56.Buffalo Bills: Anthony Miller, wide receiver (Memphis)
57.Tennessee Titans: Ronald Jones, running back (USC)
58.Atlanta Falcons: D.J. Chark, wide receiver (LSU)
59.San Francisco 49ers: Orlando Brown, tackle (Oklahoma) 
60.Pittsburgh Steelers: Nick Chubb, running back (Georgia)
61.Jacksonville Jaguars: Malik Jefferson, inside linebacker (Texas)
62.Minnesota Vikings: Carlton Davis, cornerback (Auburn)
63.New England Patriots: Duke Ejiofor, edge rusher (Wake Forest)
64.Cleveland Browns: James Washington, wide receiver (Oklahoma State)

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

The Best and Worst of Elizabeth Olsen

“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography of “Avengers: Infinity War” star Elizabeth Olsen.

Films starring Elizabeth Olsen that I've seen:
Martha Marcy May Marlene
Oldboy
Godzilla 
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Captain America: Civil War
Wind River
Ingrid Goes West
Kodachrome 

Best Performance: Ingrid Goes West (2017)
I felt that Ingrid Goes West was the best acted film of last year and Olsen's remarkable turn in the co-leading role helped set the tone for the brilliance of the entire ensemble cast. As a Los Angeles-based Instagram "influencer" that ends up befriending her stalker (an equally great Aubrey Plaza), Olsen gives an incredibly nuanced performance that highlights the flavor-of-the-week mentality, phony glamour and crushing loneliness that exists behind an individual that chooses to project a façade of perfection on social media.

Worst Performance: Godzilla (2014)
Olsen's considerable acting gifts are buried by a garbage script that gives her nothing to do besides scream and looked confused for two hours.

Best Film: Wind River (2017)
Up-and-coming screenwriter Taylor Sheridan's (Sicario, Hell or High Water) crazy hot streak followed him behind the camera with Wind River, a riveting mystery thriller which very well could be his finest project to-date. Sheridan, who also penned the script, effortlessly transitions to the director's chair with a film that's full of pulse-pounding tension, excellent character development and a pair of terrific performances from his leads (Jeremy Renner, Olsen).

Worst Film: Godzilla (2014)
If future filmmakers want to learn how to not make a monster movie, Gareth Edwards' Godzilla holds all the answers. Choosing to spend a bulk of the runtime focusing on a group of wooden, underdeveloped human characters while a monster is going around San Francisco and fucking shit up is an infuriating decision by Edwards, who between this and Rogue One has solidified himself as a master of making exciting things boring, that results in a tedious and utterly pointless film that made me yearn for the overwhelming cheesiness of Roland Emmerich's 1998 version.

Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Overboard” star Anna Faris. 

Monday, April 23, 2018

MCU Ranked

All of the marketing blitzkriegs, post-credit teases and top secret productions have all lead up to this moment. After a decade of buildup that has yielded billions of dollars for the comic book juggernaut, Marvel is finally releasing the first part of their (presumably) game-changing Avengers: Infinity War this Thursday night. In honor of this historic event, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and rank the 18 pre-Infinity War entries in the Marvel Cinematic Universe from worst to best. Before I get started, it needs to be noted that nothing else influenced my opinions other than the films themselves. The very little that I know about the source material has exclusively come from small tidbits I've picked up from conversations with people that have actually read the comics over the years and that fact will likely become evident pretty quickly once you read what I wrote below. May you all successfully avoid Infinity War spoilers before you get a chance to see it and please feel free to share your own MCU rankings in the comment section below. 

18.Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015): Special shoutout to the only movie that's ever lulled me to sleep in a movie theater. The second installment of Marvel's team-up extravaganza was every bit of the dull, overstuffed and soulless clusterfuck that the original wasn't. I'd happily rewatch any of the Fantastic Four films or the emo Spider-Man sections of Spider-Man 3 over this meandering pile of shit any day of the week.
Grade: D+

17.Captain America: The First Avenger (2011):
I'm not going to pretend like Captain America: The First Avenger is this completely unwatchable poopfest. It's never boring, reasonably well-acted and the ending is actually kind of heartbreaking. However, there was a lot of shit about Steve Rodgers' first big-screen adventure since 1990 that really bothered me. Red Skull is the CEO of Disposable Jabroni Villain Inc., the saccharine tone results in some seriously cringeworthy moments and even though it was important to the story, skinny, CGI Chris Evans was nightmare-inducing.
Grade: C+

16.Iron Man 2 (2010):
Robert Downey Jr.'s effortless charisma and a relatively strong, action-packed final act keeps things from completely failing apart, but a pair of shitty, overacted villains (Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell) and oddly high volume of corny moments (fuckin drunk Iron Man...) made this a major downgrade from the original.
Grade: C+

15.Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 (2017):
This ended up being one of the more gut-wrenching letdowns in recent memory. Everything is great when the titular heroes are doing their  "bust balls and ungracefully stop space crime" routine out of the gate, but when the film inorganically turns into a sappy family melodrama around the halfway mark, much of the goofy charm of these characters -as well as the overall entertainment value- get sucked into a wormhole.
Grade: B-

14.Captain America: The Winter Solider (2014):
The Winter Solider gave the Captain America series a much-needed facelift after The First Avenger. The more serious tone allowed Chris Evans to add more depth to the character and new directors Anthony and Joe Russo, who have since taken over The Avengers franchise following the departure of Joss Whedon, to stage some pretty tense fight scenes. Real shame about that comically convoluted political/spy thriller plot that eats up most of the film's 150-minute runtime though.
Grade: B-

13.Thor: The Dark World (2013): This is a wildly popular pick for the worst entry in the MCU so far and I completely understand why. Natalie Portman looks like she's ashamed to be involved with the production, some of the jokes are really awful (Stellan Skarsgard screaming wild scientific theories sans pants is eerily similar to a scene from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen with John Turturro) and leaving Loki on the sidelines while some lame-ass elves try to destroy Asgard was a pretty major miscalculation. That being said, I thought there was enough quality action scenes, charismatic performances and clever gags scattered throughout the film to make its flaws somewhat forgivable.
Grade: B

12.Ant-Man (2015):
Considering all of the behind-the-scenes drama (director change shortly before the start of principal photography, numerous rewrites, etc.) that plagued its production, it's pretty remarkable that Ant-Man ended up being a modest success. With its heist-driven story full of colorful characters and amusing one-liners, Ant-Man was a nice deviation from the MCU's grand-scale norm.  
Grade: B

11.The Incredible Hulk (2008): Just about all traces of The Incredible Hulk have been removed from the MCU since Edward Norton declined to reprise the role in future films, which is kind of a shame because it's actually a pretty solid flick. Portraying Bruce Banner as a broken, distant man that's desperately trying to find a cure for his affliction made the character a lot more interesting and Louis Leterrier delivered the healthy amount of satisfying Hulk destruction that Ang Lee's mutant poodle-filled disaster sorely lacked.
Grade: B

10.Captain America: Civil War (2016): Civil War's highlights are in the upper echelon of MCU moments and creative decisions. The two biggest action scenes (the opening fight in Lagos, the airport scene) are staggering, the introductions to Black Panther and Tom Holland's Spider-Man are perfect, and its self-contained narrative was a refreshing reprieve from the relentless worldbuilding they had been relying on in the films leading up to it. Unfortunately, these brilliant elements are undercut by erratic pacing and a frustrating refusal to remain committed to the darkness that the story teases throughout. While the sheer amount of untapped potential that's on display here will always bother me, Civil War's admirable strengths and the role it played in ultimately changing this mega-franchise for the better was enough to bump it up a few spots on this list.
Grade: B

9.Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017):
Sony should write a passionate thank you note to Marvel Studios for successfully restoring the Spider-Man brand after nearly a decade of soiling the friendly neighborhood webslinger's good name. A great sense of humor paired with its effective portrayal of Peter Parker as a bumbling teenager who hasn't quite figured out the whole superhero thing yet made Homecoming the first consistently enjoyable Spider-Man film since the OG Spider-Man 2.
Grade: B+

8.Thor (2011):
As far as superhero origin stories go, Thor is definitely amongst the best. Chris Hemsworth's immense likability, jokes that land at a pretty high clip and the presence of a memorable, well-developed villain in Loki made this a particularly successful "fish out of water" tale.
Grade: B+

7.Doctor Strange (2016): With its dazzling psychedelic imagery, mystical action sequences and an imperfect hero played by the always great Benedict Cumberbatch, Doctor Strange officially ushered in Marvel's semi-experimental "phase three" era that erased the "been there, done that" feeling that plagued most of the post-Avengers films. Hopefully the rumored sequel goes into production before too long because I would love to spend more time in this wild world of space-and-time manipulating magic.
Grade: B+

6.The Avengers (2012):
While it losses a little bit of its initial "wow" factor upon repeat viewings, I still really admire what Joss Whedon was able to pull off here. The creator of cult television phenomenon's Buffy, The Vampire Slayer and Firefly was able to give fans the breezy, epic team-up movie they'd been clamoring for without being overwhelmed by the intimidating volume of characters or interconnecting storylines that he had to work with.
Grade: A-

5.Iron Man 3 (2013):
Most MCU fans have a film that they feel is underrated in the unforgiving court of public opinion. Shane Black's largely polarizing Iron Man 3 holds that distinction for me. I found a lot of the plot threads that bugged people (the twist with The Mandarin, the scenes in Tennessee, Tony Stark's PTSD brought on by the events of The Avengers) to be brilliant, richly-rewarding risks that helped set this film apart from its predecessors without taking away from its established strengths (Downey Jr., exciting action scenes, great one-liners).    
Grade: A

4.Guardians of the Galaxy (2014): Guardians of the Galaxy provides the glorious answer to the burning question of what would happen if you decided to take The Avengers to space and got them hopped up on DMT. This beautiful introduction to the most lovable antiheroes the bowels of space have to offer is a colorful, twisted blast that has plenty of laughs and a strong rewatchability factor.
Grade: A

3.Iron Man (2008):
You could make a strong argument that the MCU wouldn't have turned into the worldwide phenomenon its become without Iron Man. Jon Faverau got this interconnected series of films off to a roaring start by crafting a highly entertaining origin story that's driven by strong character development, cool action scenes and a magnetic performance from a perfectly-cast Robert Downey Jr in the leading role.
Grade: A

2.Black Panther (2018):
2018's biggest cultural phenomenon thus far is a masterclass in genre filmmaking. Making a film that simultaneously works as a complex, emotionally-charged political saga that comments on real world issues and a vivid superhero spectacle that's driven by immensely likable characters and terrific action sequences is a staggering accomplishment that only a virtuoso director like Ryan Coogler could pull off.
Grade: A

1.Thor: Ragnarok (2017):
Handing the reigns of the Thor franchise over to Taika Waititi (What We Do in the Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople) was the greatest decision Kevin Feige has made during his time overseeing this connected universe. Waititi's energetic directorial style paired with an amazing ensemble cast that fully embraced his oddball sense of humor paved the way for the funniest, strangest and most deliriously entertaining superhero movie I've ever had the pleasure of watching.
Grade: A

Thursday, April 19, 2018

As We Proceed Episode #18

On this month's "As We Proceed", Feliciano and I discuss Metro Boomin's possible retirement from producing, Drake's female-centered "Nice for What" music video, Nicki Minaj's new singles, Cardi B's long-awaited debut album Invasion of Privacy and have a discussion about J. Cole's upcoming record K.O.D. get derailed by an argument about 2014 Forest Hills Drive. This jam-packed episode can be heard at either of the links below:

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/as-we-proceed/id1122163104?mt=2

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

The Best and Worst of William Fichtner

“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography of “Traffik” star William Fichtner.

Films starring William Fichtner that I've seen:
Quiz Show
Contact
Armageddon
The Perfect Storm
Pearl Harbor
Black Hawk Down
Crash
The Longest Yard
Ultraviolet
Blades of Glory
The Dark Knight
Date Night
Drive Angry
The Long Ranger
Elysium
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Independence Day: Resurgence

Best Performance: Drive Angry (2011)
Like many character actors, a good chunk of his work comes in B-movies. The clear peak of his genre movie resume came with his turn as a close confidante of Satan that's tasked with tracking down people that have broken out of Hell and bringing them back to suffer for eternity in Patrick Lussier's straight-up insane grindhouse throwback Drive Angry. When someone goes toe-to-toe with Nicolas F'n Cage in the overacting department, you know they did damn good work.

Worst Performance: Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
A good (albeit wordy) alternate title for Independence Day: Resurgence would be "Watch talented veteran actors waste away in one of the least entertaining blockbusters of the last 20 years". Unlike many of his co-stars, Fichtner plays it straight and ends up looking like he's moments away from falling asleep the entire time he's on screen.

Best Film: The Dark Knight (2008)
While I don't enjoy it as much as most people, The Dark Knight is still a pretty great movie. Christopher Nolan's decision to structure the film as a crime drama instead of a traditional superhero movie is bold and effective and Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker is a horrifying tour-de-force that will live forever in the annals of film history.

Worst Film: Pearl Harbor (2001)
I've defended the work of Michael Bay on dozens of occasions, but I couldn't possibly think of anything complementary to say about Pearl Harbor. This wildly inept attempt to replicate Titanic's "stage a fictionalized three hour soap opera against the backdrop of a historical tragedy "features enough poor acting, sappy dialogue and shameless emotional manipulation to fill thousands of Nicolas Sparks adaptations.

Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Avengers: Infinity War” star Elizabeth Olsen.

Monday, April 16, 2018

2018 NFL Mock Draft 5.0 (Updated 4/16)

1.Cleveland Browns: Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC)
2.New York Giants: Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State)
3.New York Jets: Josh Allen, quarterback (Wyoming)
4.Cleveland Browns: Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State)
5.Denver Broncos: Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA)
6.Indianapolis Colts: Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State)
7.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety/cornerback (Alabama)
8.Chicago Bears: Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame)
9.San Francisco 49ers: Derwin James, safety (Florida State)
10.Oakland Raiders: Tremaine Edmunds, inside linebacker (Virginia Tech)
11.Miami Dolphins: Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington)
12.Buffalo Bills: Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma)
13.Washington Redskins: Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio)
14.Green Bay Packers: Mike Hughes, cornerback (UCF)
15.Arizona Cardinals: Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame)
16.Baltimore Ravens: Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP)
17.Los Angeles Chargers: Taven Bryan, defensive tackle (Florida)
18.Seattle Seahawks: Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa)
19.Dallas Cowboys: Calvin Ridley, wide receiver (Alabama)
20.Detroit Lions: Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia)
21.Cincinnati Bengals: Harold Landry, edge rusher (Boston College)
22.Buffalo Bills: Frank Ragnow, center (Arkansas)
23.New England Patriots: Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas)
24.Carolina Panthers: Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville)
25.Tennessee Titans: Lorenzo Carter, edge rusher (Georgia)
26.Atlanta Falcons: Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan)
27.New Orleans Saints: Rashaan Evans, inside linebacker (Alabama)
28.Pittsburgh Steelers: Leighton Vander Esch, inside linebacker (Boise State)
29.Jacksonville Jaguars: Dallas Goedert, tight end (South Dakota State)
30.Minnesota Vikings: Isaiah Wynn, guard (Georgia)
31.New England Patriots: Mason Rudolph, quarterback (Oklahoma State)
32.Philadelphia Eagles: Isaiah Oliver, cornerback (Colorado)

Thursday, April 12, 2018

10 Funniest Plays of the 2017-18 NBA Season

The NBA regular season came to a close last night, which means its now time to look back at all the ridiculous miscues and general absurdity that occurred in the league over the past six months. Here are the 10 moments that didn't involve J.R. Smith throwing bowls of soup at members of the Cavs coaching stuff or the Phoenix Suns "trying" to play defense that made me laugh the hardest this season.

Honorable Mentions:
Nicolas Batum gives Josh Richardson an involuntary vasectomy 

Domantas Sabonis displays his outside shooting proficiency 

Damian Lillard takes garbage time too literally 


Ersan Illyasova proves why he gets bought out every season


10.Dennis Smith Jr. and John Collins in "When Trying to Stunt at the Rising Stars Challenge Goes Wrong"

The Rising Stars Challenge on All-Star Weekend is a beautiful evening where the league's rookie and second-year players have the opportunity to embrace their inner Harlem Globetrotter for 48 minutes. Dennis Smith Jr. and John Collins had the misfortune of experiencing the downside of this showy exhibition game when their unsuccessful dunk attempts in the final seconds of the fourth quarter left them looking more like the aloof jabronis that make up the New York Nationals roster than the beloved showboats that solve mysteries with Scooby-Doo in their spare time.   

9.Matthew Dellavedova's Ghost Alley-Op

Crikey that Casper sure is a slippery devil! Better luck getting on the same page as that smiling invisible bloke next time Delly!

8.Kentavious Caldwell-Pope auditions for a role in Failure to Launch 2


I can't imagine the sense of relief that overcame Lonzo Ball after KCP pulled off this unfathomable shit in a professional basketball game. It's kind of hard to criticize a guy for having an ugly jump shot when one of his teammates can't even get off an uncontested shot before his feet hit the ground.

7.Zhou Qi: The Inbound Master

Someone get a member of the Texans front office on the line because I think we found Deshaun Watson's new backup!


6.Isaiah Thomas' completely unsubtle point shaving
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of a Brinks truck peeling away from the Thomas residence without making a delivery. My heart aches for you IT.

5.LeBron's heartwarming tribute to James Harden

Even when things aren't going well for the Cavs, you can always rely on LeBron James to stay engaged in the game. He busts his ass every trip down the floor and this display of stout defense exemplifies that unrivaled competitive drive to the fullest #MVP.


4.Kevin Love's condescending handoff to Isaiah Thomas
The pre-trade deadline Cavs were a hotbed for internal dysfunction and Kevin Love slowly handing the ball to Isaiah Thomas like he's a small child after pulling down a rebound was the glorious peak of this petty iceberg.

3.Fifty Shades of Officiating 

Who knew that officiating could be this sensual? Adam Silver should demand that every referee puts this same level of red-hot passion into their blocking foul calls for the rest of time.

2.Shelvin Mack finally becomes a member of the Magic

It took until mid-March, but this inexplicably awful pass proved that Shelvin Mack made the right decision when he chose to sign with the Magic in free agency last summer. 


1.Malik Beasley drops dead on the court  
Name: Malik Beasley
Time of Death: 9:02 CST on March 21st, 2018 at the United Center in Chicago, Illinois
Cause of Death: Thinking about the memes that were going to be made at his expense after he tripped over an air monster at the end of a blowout win over the tanking Bulls.

RIP Malik. Your inability to chorale a routine pass without dramatically eating shit will be missed by your teammates, the Nuggets organization and NBA Twitter.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The Best and Worst of Naomie Harris

“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography of “Rampage” star Naomie Harris.

Films starring Naome Harris that I've seen:
28 Days Later
After the Sunset
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Street Kings
Ninja Assassin
Skyfall
Southpaw
Spectre
Moonlight

Best Performance: Moonlight (2016)
No disrespect to Viola Davis, who was very good in Fences, but Harris got ROBBED for Best Supporting Actress at the 2016 Oscars. Her alarmingly convincing portrayal of a crack addict was the clear standout element of an otherwise pretty overrated film.


Worst Performance: Ninja Assassin (2009)
Ninja Assassin dragged every time it wasn't focused on slice-and-dice carnage and Harris was the embodiment of the film's sins. Her one-note police detective character, who is arguably on-screen more than the titular character, represents the filmmaker's indefensible choice to dedicate so much time to a stone-serious narrative. Putting an emphasis on a dull plot about a high-ranking federal agent trying to crack this convoluted political conspiracy over mindless action prevented this from being the gory throwback to the glory days of the martial arts genre it aspired to be.  

Best Film: 28 Days Later (2002)
Danny Boyle's lone foray into the world of horror (thus far) is a tense, brutal and inventive masterpiece that rewrote the rules of the zombie genre forever. It also forced me to dismiss a series of ignorant takes on horror films and how they were incapable of achieving true greatness that I had during my early teenage years, so thanks for that wake-up call Danny.

Worst Film: After the Sunset (2004)
After the Sunset, an action comedy centered around a prospective diamond robbery in the Bahamas that featured an elite ensemble cast led by Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson and Don Cheadle, is the Jeb Bush of heist films: vanilla, low energy and adept at repeatedly blowing easy W's. Sad!

Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Traffik” star William Fichtner. 


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Movie Review: A Quiet Place

Last year, the film community was caught completely off guard when comedian Jordan Peele tried his hand at directing and delivered one of the sharpest horror films in recent years in Get Out. 14 months later, those shockwaves are setting in again with veteran actor John Krasinski, best known for his role as Jim Halpert on The Office, following the release of his sophomore directorial effort A Quiet Place,which is a confident, intelligent and nerve-racking horror flick that will more than likely be regarded as a seminal release in the genre for years to come.

As the trailers have done an excellent job of conveying, A Quiet Place tells the story of a family (Krasinski, his real-life spouse Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe, Cade Woodward-all excellent) trying to survive in a world that's overrun by mysterious creatures that use sound to hunt their prey. Any other specific plot/creature details would ruin the gratifying sense of ambiguity the marketing campaign established, but I will say that the characters inability to speak aloud or engage in just about any activity without the fear of being killed allows Krasinski to build one hell of an atmosphere. The outstanding sound design that turns every small noise into an uneasy, edge-of-your-seat moment combined with terrific cinematography that rarely gives you a clear look at the entities that are terrorizing the protagonists helps A Quiet Place from ever settling into the choreographed "loud music followed by a cheap jump scare" routine that's utilized by a lot of other supernatural horror/thrillers.

In addition to its distinctly thrilling atmosphere, A Quiet Place was also able to achieve an unexpectedly high level of emotional resonance. Beneath the near-relentless tension is a pretty poignant exploration of the extraordinary lengths parents will go to protect their children from harm as well as the cracks that can develop in this special albeit sometimes volatile relationship as a result of trauma, guilt and regret. Establishing the depth of this familial bond gave this story a strong sense of humanity and allowed every encounter with the entity to become even more harrowing.

If you have even a passing interest in seeing A Quiet Place, I'd urge you to go see it in theaters. Sitting in an auditorium that was on edge for 90 minutes was a visceral reminder of the sheer electricity that occurs when a horror movie connects with a large audience. It was a great experience that I'm glad I got to have, even if it means that I'm going to be super paranoid every time I hear a loud noise for at least the next week.  

Grade: B+

Monday, April 9, 2018

2018 NFL Mock Draft 4.0 (Updated 4/9)

1.Cleveland Browns: Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC)
2.New York Giants: Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State)
3.New York Jets: Josh Allen, quarterback (Wyoming)
4.Cleveland Browns: Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety/cornerback (Alabama)
5.Denver Broncos: Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA)
6.Indianapolis Colts: Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State)
7.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State)
8.Chicago Bears: Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame)
9.San Francisco 49ers: Derwin James, safety (Florida State)
10.Oakland Raiders: Tremaine Edmunds, inside linebacker (Virginia Tech)
11.Miami Dolphins: Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington)
12.Buffalo Bills: Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma)
13.Washington Redskins: Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio)
14.Green Bay Packers: Harold Landry, edge rusher (Boston College)
15.Arizona Cardinals: Mike Hughes, cornerback (UCF)
16.Baltimore Ravens: Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame)
17.Los Angeles Chargers: Taven Bryan, defensive tackle (Florida)
18.Seattle Seahawks: Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa)
19.Dallas Cowboys: Calvin Ridley, wide receiver (Alabama)
20.Detroit Lions: Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia)
21.Cincinnati Bengals: Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP)
22.Buffalo Bills: Frank Ragnow, center (Arkansas)
23.New England Patriots: Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas)
24.Carolina Panthers: Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville)
25.Tennessee Titans: Lorenzo Carter, edge rusher (Georgia)
26.Atlanta Falcons: Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan)
27.New Orleans Saints: Rashaan Evans, inside linebacker (Alabama)
28.Pittsburgh Steelers: Leighton Vander Esch, inside linebacker (Boise State)
29.Jacksonville Jaguars: Dallas Goedert, tight end (South Dakota State)
30.Minnesota Vikings: Isaiah Wynn, guard (Georgia)
31.New England Patriots: Mason Rudolph, quarterback (Oklahoma State)
32.Philadelphia Eagles: D.J. Moore, wide receiver (Maryland)

Friday, April 6, 2018

2018 NFL Draft: Top 20 Prospects Available

It may seem hard to believe given that the new league year pretty much just got underway, but the start of the 2018 NFL Draft is only 20 days away. While I'm still in the middle of my evaluation process, I figured I'd give you guys an early look at how I feel about some of the big names in this draft class. Here is my work-in-progress list of the 20 best prospects available in this year's draft.

Notable players that I haven't seen tape on yet (in alphabetical order by last name): Jessie Bates, Taven Bryan, Lorenzo Carter, James Daniels, Carlton Davis, Rashaan Evans, Mark Gesicki, Ronnie Harrison, Sam Hubbard, Maurice Hurst, Donte Jackson, Kerryon Johnson, Arden Key, Harold Landry, Kolton Miller, Uchenna Nowsu, Isaiah Oliver, Harrison Phillips, Billy Price, Justin Reid, Equanimeous St.Brown, Cortland Sutton, James Washington

1.Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State)
2.Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame)
3.Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia)
4.Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State)
5.Derwin James, safety (Florida State)
6.Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State)
7.Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington)
8.Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa)
9.Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame)
10.Frank Ragnow, center (Arkansas)
11.Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC)
12.Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma)
13.Derrius Guice, running back (LSU)
14.Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville)
15.Isaiah Wynn, guard (Georgia)
16.Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas)
17.Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety/cornerback (Alabama)
18.Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA)
19.Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP)
20.Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio)

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Movie Review: Ready Player One

With its nearly endless stream of visual references to preexisting pop culture properties such as Back to the Future, King Kong and The Shining, Ready Player One is a prime target for extensive criticism. That being said, you can't accuse Warner Brothers of misleading audiences. The marketing campaign promised a huge, colorful 80's nostalgia bomb and that's exactly what the film delivered. For better or worse, every frame of Ready Player One is dedicated to celebrating pop culture escapism. While I found myself routinely cringing at how silly the story was, this is an incredibly sincere love letter to entertainment fandom and how getting invested in these fictional worlds helps people get away from the depressing cruelty of the real world that I just couldn't hate.

The surface level enjoyment I got out of Ready Player One can pretty much entirely be attributed to Steven Spielberg. Bringing the virtual reality world of The OASIS to life is a job that the iconic director was born to tackle. You can practically see him smiling from behind the camera as he navigates through this visually-rich environment for nearly two and a half hours. Spielberg's gift for staging pure, wondrous spectacle gives the film a brisk sense of momentum that never lets up and helps mask at least some of the soullessness of the human characters (led by Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, Lena Waithe and Mark Rylance doing his best Dr. Steve Brule impression) that are behind this vivid digital universe.

While it won't even flirt with receiving a high ranking on my year-end best list,  I respect what Ready Player One was able to accomplish. Getting someone like me who isn't a child of the 80's or a big video game fan to buy into this hardcore nerd porn-driven world that I don't have a built-in connection to is a testament to the infectious love Spielberg and screenwriter Zak Penn had for the material. Without the tremendous level of care and craftsmanship they poured into this production, Ready Player One likely would've been nothing more than an obnoxious exercise in fan service that provided me with enough rant fodder to fill the next calendar year. Now, I can only hope that Spielberg will bring the same passion and visual flare he displayed here to the new Indiana Jones movie that he's currently developing.
   
Grade: B-

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Concert Review: Lorde-- Boston, MA-- April 3rd, 2018

Lineup: Lorde/Run the Jewels/Mitski
Venue: TD Garden, Boston, MA
Date: April 3rd, 2018

Mitski: Anything that falls under the indie rock/folk/pop umbrella is always a huge dice roll for me. An overwhelming majority of the artists in these scenes either resonate with me right away or grate on me to the point where I want to chop my ears off with any sharp object that's in reach. Mitski is definitely in the former camp. With her utilization of heavily-distorted guitars and a distinct voice that constantly veers between beautiful and melancholic, she's easily the most interesting indie rocker I've been exposed to over the last several years. After I get the new Flatbush Zombies, Augury and Wonder Years records off of my listening queue, I plan on finding out if Mitski's recorded material has the same unique magic as her live show.

Run the Jewels: Full disclosure: The bizarre yet intriguing opportunity to see Run the Jewels open for Lorde was the driving force behind my decision to go to this show. While Lorde has considerably less teenage fans than most of her peers in the pop community right now, RTJ's rage-and-expletive filled brand of hip-hop was still a lock to shell shock a portion of the audience and as a huge fan of watching people become visibly horrified by music that's foreign to them, I needed to see this potentially hysterical scene play out before my eyes. In a mildly sad development, this hypothetical comedic scenario never materialized. The clear gap in musical style between Lorde and RTJ was a fact that Killer Mike and El-P constantly poked fun at during their 45 minutes on stage, and that level of self-awareness helped make the atmosphere a lot less awkward than I anticipated.

Even though the place wasn't completely dead, the crowd response still had a notable impact on the quality of Run the Jewels' performance. Despite their best efforts, performing on a massive arena stage in front of a crowd that was predominantly full of people that were either unfamiliar and/or didn't enjoy their music prevented them from establishing the beautifully raucous environment that their shows typically have. Relatively muted crowd reaction aside, Run the Jewels was still very enjoyable and they deserve a lot of credit for agreeing to appear on a tour where a majority of their corps fans weren't likely to show up.

Lorde: For as many misguided descision as I make, from time to time I'll stumble into a brilliant one. The morbid curiosity I had of seeing Run the Jewels and Lorde share a stage resulted in me experiencing a monster performance from one of pop's brightest young talents.

As impressive as her material is on record, the live setting benefits Lorde tremendously. I was honestly stunned by how much more powerful her voice was without the studio manipulations (pitch correct, Auto-Tune, etc.) that go into every major record. The live setting, where shit/lip synch-reliant singers get eaten alive, unlocked an even deeper range of vocals than I previously thought she had (demonstrated on Melodrama ballad "Writer in the Dark", Hunger Games Mockingjay Part I soundtrack cut "Yellow Flicker Beat" and her chilling cover of Frank Ocean's "Solo") and made the emotional undercurrent that drives all of her finest tracks ("Sober", "Tennis Court", "Perfect Places", "Melodrama", "400 Lux") even stronger. This might just be a kneejerk reaction that's stemming from a post-concert high, but I'd honestly go as far to say that Lorde is in the mix with The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey and Banks for the title of best vocalist I've ever seen perform in person

Another pleasant surprise was how much better the material from her debut Pure Heroine sounded live. The cheap-sounding minimalist production from Joel Little that prevented a lot of the record from connecting with me sounded much cleaner in a live setting and that adjustment in mix quality allowed these tracks to become raw and hypnotic as hell. I enjoyed these songs so much last night that I might get frisky and reevaluate songs like "Ribs" and "Buzzcut Season" that left me cold whenever I'd heard them in the past.

If you're an aspiring pop/R&B singer, you could learn a lot from taking in a Lorde show. Her show is light on elaborate theatrics, but her vocals are so god damn impressive that she doesn't need to do anything else to command a stage and send the crowd into a frenzy. I'm fucking elated that I decided to go to this show and I will happily go praise the Lorde whenever she returns to the lovely city of Boston.

Scores:
Mitski 8/10
Run the Jewels 8/10
Lorde 9/10

Setlists:
Mitski:
Francis Forever
I Don't Smoke
Thursday Girl
Townie
Your Best American Girl
I Bet on Losing Dogs
I Will
Drunk Walk Home
My Body's Made of Crushed Little Stars

Run the Jewels:
Talk to Me
Legend Has It
Call Ticketron
Blockbuster Night Part 1
Oh My Darling Don't Cry
Stay Gold
Don't Get Captured 
Nobody Speak (DJ Shadow cover)
Close Your Eyes (And Count to Fuck)
A Report to the Shareholders
Thursday in the Danger Room
Down

Lorde:
Sober
Homemade Dynamite
Tennis Court
Magnets (Disclosure cover)
Buzzcut Season
400 Lux
Ribs
The Louvre
Hard Feelings
Yellow Flicker Beat
Writer in the Dark
Solo (Frank Ocean cover)
Liability 
Sober II (Melodrama)
Supercut
Royals
Perfect Places
Green Light

Encore:
Loveless
Precious Metals
Team

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

The Best and Worst of Leslie Mann

“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography of “Blockers” star Leslie Mann.

Films starring Leslie Mann that I've seen:
George of the Jungle
Big Daddy
Orange County
Stealing Harvard
The 40-Year Old Virgin
Knocked Up
Drillbit Taylor
Funny People
Rio
The Change-Up
This is 40
The Bling Ring
The Other Woman
Vacation
How to Be Single

Best Performance: Knocked Up (2007)
While she shined in a bit part in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Mann's status as a first-rate scene-stealer wasn't affirmed until Knocked Up. Mann's flawless deadpan delivery made her standout in a supporting cast full of comedic titans (Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Kristen Wiig) and allowed her long-deserved breakout in the industry to occur after a decade of grinding it out in largely mediocre affairs (Orange County, Stealing Harvard) that buried her talent.   

Worst Performance: The Other Woman (2014)
As the revenge-seeking wife of a serial cheater (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, at his peak level of awfulness), Mann displays zero chemistry with her co-stars (Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton) and provides an uncharacteristically low number of laughs.

Best Film: The 40-Year Old Virgin (2005)
It's been about a year since I've gotten a chance to gush about this film, so brace yourself for some masturbatory writing people. Judd Apatow's directorial debut is one of the seminal films in my life. Not only did it serve as an introduction to some of my favorite actors in Hollywood (Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Jonah Hill), but it was the first time I'd ever seen an R-rated comedy successfully intertwine vulgar humor and sincere, heartwarming charm. As much as I love the genre, it would be an earth-shattering upset if any comedy went onto to oust The 40-Year Old Virgin as my all-time favorite.

Worst Film: The Other Woman (2014)
After rumors started swirling in early 2017 about her future in the industry, Cameron Diaz recently confirmed her retirement from acting in an interview with Entertainment Weekly. Although she starred in two other films after this (Sex Tape and Annie), I'd like to believe that The Other Woman was the catalyst behind this surprising decision. Watching a comedy that's as joyless, poorly-acted and constantly unfunny as this is like going to jury duty: It's an experience that you only have to endure periodically, but it never fails to be a huge fucking bummer.

Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Rampage” star Naomie Harris. 

Monday, April 2, 2018

2018 NFL Mock Draft 3.0 (Updated 4/2)

1.Cleveland Browns: Sam Darnold, quarterback (USC)
2.New York Giants: Saquon Barkley, running back (Penn State)
3.New York Jets: Josh Allen, quarterback (Wyoming)
4.Cleveland Browns: Minkah Fitzpatrick, cornerback/safety (Alabama)
5.Denver Broncos: Josh Rosen, quarterback (UCLA)
6.Indianapolis Colts: Bradley Chubb, edge rusher (NC State)
7.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Denzel Ward, cornerback (Ohio State)
8.Chicago Bears: Quenton Nelson, guard (Notre Dame)
9.San Francisco 49ers: Derwin James, safety (Florida State)
10.Oakland Raiders: Tremaine Edmunds, inside linebacker (Virginia Tech)
11.Miami Dolphins: Vita Vea, defensive tackle (Washington)
12.Buffalo Bills: Baker Mayfield, quarterback (Oklahoma)
13.Washington Redskins: Roquan Smith, inside linebacker (Georgia)
14.Green Bay Packers: Marcus Davenport, edge rusher (Texas San-Antonio)
15.Arizona Cardinals: Mike Hughes, cornerback (UCF)
16.Baltimore Ravens: Mike McGlinchey, tackle (Notre Dame)
17.Los Angeles Chargers: Da'Ron Payne, defensive tackle (Alabama)
18.Seattle Seahawks: Jaire Alexander, cornerback (Louisville)
19.Dallas Cowboys: Taven Bryan, defensive tackle (Florida)
20.Detroit Lions: Harold Landry, edge rusher (Boston College)
21.Cincinnati Bengals: Connor Williams, tackle/guard (Texas)
22.Buffalo Bills: James Daniels, center (Iowa)
23.Los Angeles Rams: Rashaan Evans, inside linebacker (Alabama)
24.Carolina Panthers: Josh Jackson, cornerback (Iowa)
25.Tennessee Titans: Sam Hubbard, edge rusher (Ohio State)
26.Atlanta Falcons: Isaiah Wynn, guard (Georgia)
27.New Orleans Saints: Maurice Hurst, defensive tackle (Michigan)
28.Pittsburgh Steelers: Leighton Vander Esch, inside linebacker (Boise State)
29.Jacksonville Jaguars: Calvin Ridley, wide receiver (Alabama)
30.Minnesota Vikings: Will Hernandez, guard (UTEP)
31.New England Patriots: Kolton Miller, tackle (UCLA)
32.Philadelphia Eagles: D.J. Moore, wide receiver (Maryland)