Saturday, April 30, 2022

2022 NFL Draft: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 3

1.Khalil Shakir, wide receiver (Boise State)

2.Sam Howell, quarterback (North Carolina)

3.Kingsley Enagbare, edge rusher (South Carolina)

4.Matt Araiza, punter (San Diego State)

5.Darian Kinnard, tackle/guard (Kentucky)

6.Dameon Pierce, running back (Florida)

7.Tyler Allgeier, running back (BYU)

8.Carson Strong, quarterback (Nevada)

9.Kellen Diesch, tackle (Arizona State)

10.Justyn Ross, wide receiver (Clemson)

11.Zach Tom, tackle/guard (Wake Forest)

12.Romeo Doubs, wide receiver (Nevada)

13.Jayln Armour-Davis, cornerback (Alabama)

14.Perrion Winfrey, defensive tackle (Oklahoma)

15.Kyle Phillips, wide receiver (UCLA)

16.Kyren Williams, running back (Notre Dame)

17.Calvin Austin III, wide receiver (Memphis)

18.Dohnovan West, center (Arizona State)

19.Ty Chandler, running back (North Carolina)

20.Jamaree Salyer, guard/tackle (Georgia)

21.Isaiah Spiller, running back (Texas A&M)

22.Tariq Woolen, cornerback (UTSA)

23.Max Mitchell, tackle (Louisiana) 

24.Marquis Hays, guard (Oklahoma)

25.Zyon McCollum, cornerback (Sam Houston State)

26.Veron McKinnley III, safety (Oregon)

27.Dane Belton, safety (Iowa)

28.Zamir White, running back (Georgia)

29.Darrian Beavers, inside linebacker (Cincinnati)

30.Damarri Mathis, cornerback (Pittsburgh)

31.Eyioma Uwazurike, edge rusher/defensive tackle (Iowa State)

32.Cade York, kicker (LSU)

33.Isaiah Likely, tight end (Costal Carolina)

34.JoJo Domann, inside linebacker (Nebraska)

35.Pierre Strong Jr., running back (South Dakota State)

36.Coby Bryant, cornerback (Cincinnati) 

37.Bo Melton, wide receiver (Rutgers)

38.Brandon Smith, inside linebacker (Penn State)

39.Bailey Zappe, quarterback (Western Kentucky)

40.Cade Otton, tight end (Washington)

41.Keontay Ingram, running back (USC)

42.Malcolm Rodriguez, inside linebacker (Oklahoma State)

43.Michael Clemons, edge rusher (Texas A&M)

44.Braxton Jones, tackle (Southern Utah)

45.Matt Waletzko, tackle (North Dakota)

46.Daniel Falele, tackle (Minnesota)

47.Alec Lindstrom, center (Boston College)

48.Matthew Butler, defensive tackle (Tennessee)

49.Neil Farrell Jr., defensive tackle (LSU)

50.Jordan Stout, punter (Penn State)

Friday, April 29, 2022

2022 NFL Draft: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 2

1.Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia)

2.David Ojabo, edge rusher (Michigan)

3.Andrew Booth Jr., cornerback (Clemson)

4.Skyy Moore, wide receiver (Western Michigan)

5.Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty)

6.Travis Jones, defensive tackle (Connecticut) 

7.Breece Hall, running back (Iowa State)

8.Jaquan Brisker, safety (Penn State)

9.Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

10.Bernhard Reimann, tackle (Central Michigan)

11.Khalil Shakir, wide receiver (Boise State)

12.Rodger McCreary, cornerback (Auburn)

13.Sam Howell, quarterback (North Carolina)

14.Jalen Pitre, cornerback/safety (Baylor)

15.Arnold Ebiketie, edge rusher (Penn State)

16.Nik Bonitto, edge rusher (Oklahoma)

17.George Pickens, wide receiver (Georgia)

18.Desmond Ridder, quarterback (Cincinnati)

19.Kyler Gordon, cornerback (Washington)

20.Drake Jackson, edge rusher (USC)

21.Chad Muma, inside linebacker (Wyoming)

22.Jalen Tolbert, wide receiver (South Alabama)

23.Leo Chenal, inside linebacker (Wisconsin)

24.Kingsley Enagbare, edge rusher (South Carolina)

25.John Metchie III, wide receiver (Alabama)

26.Christian Watson, wide receiver (North Dakota State)

27.Josh Paschal, edge rusher (Kentucky)

28.Logan Hall, defensive tackle (Houston)

29.Matt Araiza, punter (San Diego State)

30.Kerby Joseph, safety (Illinois)

31.Matt Corral, quarterback (Ole Miss)

32.Alec Pierce, wide receiver (Cincinnati)

33.Darian Kinnard, tackle/guard (Kentucky)

34.Dameon Pierce, running back (Florida)

35.Cameron Thomas, edge rusher/defensive tackle (San Diego State)

36.Troy Andersen, inside linebacker (Montana State)

37.Kenneth Walker III, running back (Michigan State)

38.Trey McBride, tight end (Colorado State)

39.DeMarvin Leal, defensive end/tackle (Texas A&M)

40.Marcus Jones, cornerback (Houston)

41.Nick Cross, safety (Maryland)

42.Rachaad White, running back (Arizona State)

43.Danny Gray, wide receiver (SMU)

44.Martin Emerson Jr., cornerback (Mississippi State)

45.Dylan Parham, guard (Memphis)

46.Tyler Allgeier, running back (BYU)

47.Abraham Lucas, tackle (Washington State)

48.Carson Strong, quarterback (Nevada)

49.Kellen Diesch, tackle (Arizona State)

50.Bryan Cook, safety (Cincinnati) 

Thursday, April 28, 2022

2022 NFL Mock Draft 6.0 (4/28, Draft Day)

1.Jacksonville Jaguars: Travon Walker, edge rusher (Georgia):

The Travon Walker to the Jaguars narrative has been steadily growing over the past month and at this point, I'm completely willing to accept it as the truth. Trent Baalke is exactly the type of front office bozo that values traits (aka as a guy with exceptional athleticism that posted terrific numbers during the drills at the Combine) over actual on-field productivity/skills (Walker only posted 13.5 tackles for loss and 9 sacks in 32 college games over 3 seasons) and Walker's usage as kind of a freelancing, Swiss Army Knife that did everything from rush the passer to drop back in coverage for Georgia's top-ranked defense combined with his imposing size (6'5, 278 lbs) makes him a particularly appealing option for the "looks good in shorts" crowd.

2.Detroit Lions: Aidan Hutchinson, edge rusher (Michigan):

Travon Walker landing in Jacksonville would open up a dream scenario for the Lions and Hutchinson. Michigan native Hutchinson would get the rare opportunity to play for his hometown team and the Lions would improbably get the player that was viewed as the favorite to be the #1 overall pick prior to this week. Hutchinson is a prototypical edge who has the motor, strength and discipline to succeed in the modern NFL and should provide immediate help to an anemic Lions pass-rush that was tied with the aforementioned Jaguars for the 2nd fewest sacks in the league last year (26). 

3.Houston Texans: Ikem Ekonwu, tackle (NC State):

Being able to run the ball with more consistency would be a huge boost for the Davis Mills-led Texans offense and adding Ekonwu alongside established left tackle Laremy Tunsil would give them the best chance to do that. The NC State product has a tendency to straight up punish defenders downfield while also possessing the movement skills and strong hands to hold up well in pass protection.  

4.New York Jets: Sauce Gardner, cornerback (Cincinnati): 

Secondary play-particularly at corner-was the biggest thorn in the side of a Jets team that started to play reasonably competitive football in the latter stages of the 2021 season. While there's valid concerns over the level of competition he faced during most of his time at the University of Cincinnati and his loose technique, Gardner was a legit lockdown man corner in college that boasts a intriguing skill set (ball skills, fluid backpedal, strong tackler for the position) that could be fully unlocked by Robert Saleh and his staff.   

5.New York Giants: Evan Neal, tackle (Alabama):

In order for Brian Daboll to properly run the offense that made him such a terrific coordinator over the past 4 seasons in Buffalo, the Giants are going to need to begin to overhaul their slow, generally poor offensive line. Bringing in a guy like Neal, who combines the necessary athleticism and polish as a blocker to fit into a scheme that is heavy on deep passes and option runs with a mammoth stature (6'7, 337 lbs) that will strike fear into at least some of the edge guys he goes up against every week, could really jumpstart that process.     

6.Carolina Panthers: Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty):

Unless a trade for Jimmy Garoppolo or Baker Mayfield materializes before they go on the clock, the Panthers are effectively going to be forced to take a quarterback here. There's just seemingly no way in hell that Matt Rhule and Scott Fitterer are going to go into a season where they're firmly on the hot seat with Sam Darnold as their starting quarterback. As notably uncertain as his floor is, Willis' absurd arm talent, quick release and terrific mobility gives him easily the highest ceiling in this not overly exciting QB class.   

7.New York Giants: Kayvon Thibodeaux, edge rusher (Oregon):

The only certainty in this year's draft is that chaos is going to reign. A key portion of this chaos is being fueled by the wide range of opinions teams have on many of the prospects that are in the mix to be selected within the top 20. Thibodeaux is damn near, if not at the very top of the list of most polarizing prospects available in this draft class. Some evaluators love his combination of strength, size and speed that is arguably the best among this edge class while others have questioned his effort level on a play-to-play basis and if his outspoken confidence in the locker room is really just thinly veiled arrogance. Sliding out of the top 5, but not the top 10 seems like the most likely fate for Thibodeaux and a Giants team that's flat-out desperate to find competent pass rushers feels like the most feasible landing spot in the 6-10 range.       

8.Atlanta Falcons: Garrett Wilson, wide receiver (Ohio State):

As currently constructed, the Falcons wide receiver group is led by Olamide Zaccheaus, Damiere Byrd and Auden Tate. Adding Wilson would give them a wideout who not only has the route-running/YAC ability and eye-popping burst to fill any role Arthur Smith needs him to but would also prevent potential future superstar tight end Kyle Pitts from getting triple teamed every time he ran a route downfield. 

9.Seattle Seahawks: Charles Cross, tackle (Mississippi State): 

Whether it's Geno Smith, Drew Lock, Baker Mayfield or some rookie under center, no QB that suits up for the Seahawks in 2022 is going to be able to take advantage of their talented group of pass-catchers (DK Metcalf, Tyler Lockett, Noah Fant, possibly D'Wayne Eskridge) if they're eating grass almost every time they drop back to pass. Cross has the best track record as a pass-protector of any tackle in this class and after spending 2 years as a starter in the SEC, is as qualified as any rookie could possibly be to take on the NFC West's sizable gauntlet of elite pass rushers 6 times a year. 

10.New York Jets: Jameson Williams, wide receiver (Alabama):

The Jets have displayed a tremendous eagerness to add a true #1, home run threat WR to pair with 2nd year slot guy Elijah Moore and solid #2 outside option Corey Davis this offseason. Selecting Williams at #10 would potentially give them that guy while maintaining the draft capital and cap flexibility they need to optimize their ongoing rebuilding efforts.     

11.Washington Commanders: Kyle Hamilton, safety (Notre Dame):

Ron Rivera would have a lot of fun coming up with ways to use Hamilton-who played significant reps at both safety spots and slot corner during his time at Notre Dame-in his system and considering all of the garbage that this shitbag organization has put him through since he arrived in January 2020, the least they could do is give him an exciting player who fills a team need that he would really enjoy coaching.  

12.Minnesota Vikings: Derek Stingley Jr., cornerback (LSU):

A Lisfranc injury last season and some suspect play during the wonky COVID-shortened 2020 season has killed a lot of the hype surrounding the top defensive player on LSU's 2019 National Championship team. If Stingley can overcome the disappointments and bad breaks of the past 2 seasons, he could prove to be a top tier steal here. His wire-to-wire dominance as a top cover corner during 2019 gives him the highest ceiling of any corner in this class and given how awful the Vikings pass defense has been over the past few seasons, they can't afford to pass on a guy who boasts upside that's so significant.  

13.Houston Texans: Jermaine Johnson II, edge rusher (Florida State):

Double dipping in the recently foreign territory of the 1st round of the draft puts the Texans in a good spot to finally land some edge rush help. While Johnson is going to need some refinement in his technique before he can consistently beat NFL lineman, his staggering power and flat-out refusal to give up on a play should endear him to an old school football guy like Lovie Smith. 

14.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Davis, defensive tackle (Georgia):

Offensive line is very much in play here after watching Lamar Jackson take far too many licks last season but passing on Davis would be very un-Ravens like. Davis boasts a level of power, explosiveness and space-eating, run-stuffing prowess that no nose tackle prospect since Vince Wilfork has possessed-making him a potential godsend for a Ravens squad that is looking to quickly bolster their interior defensive line after getting uncharacteristically poor play from that spot in 2021. 

15.Philadelphia Eagles: Drake London, wide receiver (USC):

London is a big-bodied (6'5, 219 lbs) outside receiver who excels at making contested catches and fighting through tight coverage in the redzone, which makes him the perfect complementary running mate to the agile, shifty DeVonta Smith. Ridding Eagles fans of the horrors of watching Jalen Reagor play significant snaps would also be a nice bonus that could make London an instant Philly folk hero.  

16.New Orleans Saints: Kenny Pickett, quarterback (Pittsburgh):

Ongoing cap problems paired with a lack of future draft capital makes the Saints a strong candidate to draft a quarterback with one of their 1st round picks here. If OC Pete Carmichael keeps Sean Payton's system in place, Pickett's blend of decisive, accurate passing and athleticism to make plays with his feet and run the RPO would set up an interesting camp battle with Jameis Winston for the starting job. 

17.Los Angeles Chargers: Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle (Georgia):

In a perfect world, Jordan Davis would slip to the Chargers. If he doesn't, his running mate at Georgia would make for a really nice consolation prize. Wyatt has a terrific first step/strength combo that allows him to regular torpedo his way into the backfield and enough wiggle to be a factor as a pass-rusher, which could provide them with the exact kind of pop that they expected Jerry Tillery to provide when they drafted him in 2019.    

18.Philadelphia Eagles: Trent McDuffie, cornerback (Washington):

Any concerns about the 5'11 McDuffie's lack of length are deeply exaggerated. He's willing to get physical with any receiver he's matched up against and is among the strongest tacklers in this year's corner class. Pair that with some terrific discipline and route-recognition skills that prevent him from getting badly beat very often, and you have a guy that's well-suited to take over the Eagles currently wide open #2 corner spot.  

19.New Orleans Saints: Trevor Penning, tackle (Northern Iowa):

Terron Armstead ultimately deciding to leave in free agency puts the Saints in a pretty precarious spot at left tackle. While they may need to shift Ryan Ramczyk over to the left side in the interim to account for the competition gap he faced in the FCS, Penning is a violent, tactical blocker with experience starting at every line spot outside of center who isn't likely to have a problem getting adjusted to the pace and physicality of the pro game.  

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Tyler Linderbaum, center (Iowa):

Linderbaum is a potential long-term anchor at center that would slide 2021 3rd round pick Kendrick Green over to his natural position of guard and potentially give Najee Harris the type of inside rushing lanes that he didn't have the luxury of seeing very often as a rookie.    

21.New England Patriots: Devin Lloyd, inside linebacker (Utah):

The most glaring deficiency of the Patriots defense last season was their lack of speed at inside linebacker. Armed with sideline-to-sideline range that allows him to follow the ball all over the field, Lloyd would help bring their linebacker group into the modern era without sacrificing the size (6'3, 237 lbs), toughness and leadership qualities that Bill Belichick covets at that position. 

22.Green Bay Packers: Chris Olave, wide receiver (Ohio State):

Attempting to recover from the comical mass exodus (in addition to Davante Adams, Marquez Valdes-Scantling and Equanimeous St. Brown left in free agency) they've endured at the receiver spot this offseason has to be the Packers primary goal in this draft. Olave is a high floor guy who runs smooth routes and gains ample separation downfield that should be able to absorb a ton of targets right away. 

23.Arizona Cardinals: Treylon Burks, wide receiver (Arkansas):

Versatile enough to be lined up out wide, in the slot or in the backfield and absolutely bruising with the ball in his hands, Burks has a skill set that is comparable to Deebo Samuel and the number of ways he could be used may be the key to stopping the redzone scoring woes that have plagued the Cardinals during the Kyler Murray/Kliff Kingsbury-regime.  

24.Dallas Cowboys: Tyler Smith, tackle (Tulsa):  

Jerry Jones could opt to make a splashy pick here like Christian Watson, Dax Hill or David Ojabo-who would've been a guaranteed 1st rounder if he didn't tear his Achilles at Michigan's pro day last month- as an attempt to extend an olive branch to a fanbase that is infuriated with the current state of the team but considering the departures of both La'el Collins and Connor Williams in free agency, adding an offensive lineman should be a higher priority. Smith is a powerhouse blocker that should immediately improve the Cowboys presence on the ground, but his rawness as a pass-protector may force him to play guard early on. 

25.Buffalo Bills: Andrew Booth Jr., cornerback (Clemson):

Corner depth is one of the only glaring issues on the Bills roster and Booth is the type of piece that could come in and promptly fix that problem. While he's guilty of biting on double moves and taking some unnecessary gambles in pursuit of INT's that result in him giving up big plays on occasion, Booth boasts ideal speed, ball skills and fluidity for an outside corner and is strong enough in coverage to hold up against the #2 receiver options he'd be facing in Buffalo.  

26.Tennessee Titans: Desmond Ridder, quarterback (Cincinnati):

This is the type of luxury pick that the win-now Titans might not be able afford to make. That being said, Ryan Tannehill is about to turn 34 and is coming off another horrendous faceplant in the playoffs, which opens the door for the team to go out and draft his successor. Ridder's steady year-to-year improvement in college implies that he's got a great work ethic and his solid intangibles (deep ball accuracy, confidence throwing on the run, 4.5 speed) could continue to be developed while he sits behind Tannehill in 2022.     

27.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Zion Johnson, guard (Boston College):

Old friend Bill Belichick did Tom Brady a solid by trading him his longtime left guard Shaq Mason to replace Ali Marpet-who surprisingly retired before Brady's sham retirement came to an end. Now, Jason Licht will do his part to appease Brady and replace the other departed starting guard Alex Cappa with Johnson-whose terrific showings in pass protection, willingness to shift over to tackle during the COVID-impacted 2020 season and overall year-to-year improvement during his 3 seasons at Boston College has made him a favorite among personnel people during this draft cycle.  

28.Green Bay Packers: George Karlaftis, edge rusher (Purdue):

Technically-sound, powerful as hell and more than willing to handle a heavy snap count, Karlaftis would bring some much-needed toughness to a Packers front 7 that has a tendency to get pushed around by teams that have physical offensive lineman (49ers, Saints, Buccaneers).  

29.Kansas City Chiefs: Dax Hill, safety/cornerback (Michigan):

Hill kind of functions as a slightly inferior version of Kyle Hamilton (Jalen Pitre also falls into this category). He's got the cover skills to play slot corner, motor and sure tackling to be a box safety and physicality and range to be a hybrid linebacker. With the volume of weaknesses they have across their defense; the Chiefs could really use someone with that kind of positional versatility.  

30.Kansas City Chiefs: Christian Watson, wide receiver (North Dakota State):

Finding a proper replacement for Tyreek Hill just isn't a feasible goal for the Chiefs in this draft. However, Watson's top-end speed, freakish leaping ability and plethora of experience lining up on the inside and outside of the formation would give Andy Reid a very interesting chess piece to play around with that could cause some serious matchup problems for opposing defenses.

31.Cincinnati Bengals: Kenyon Green, guard/tackle (Texas A&M):

There's no such thing as investing too much in a franchise quarterback's offensive line. Green boasts the lateral quickness and powerful punch to be deployed wherever the Bengals need him to slot in and he proved he can handle the challenge of rapidly changing positional assignments by performing well in starts at both guard and tackle spots last year.

32.Detroit Lions: Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia):

A Groundhog Day-esque situation appears to be unfolding right in front of our eyes as the once-highly touted Dean is experiencing the same inexplicable fall that Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah did last year over concerns about his size. His safety-esque frame shouldn't be a concern for the Lions though. This is a team that's desperate for impact players (particularly on defense) and if Dean is able to diagnose and react to plays with the same proficiency that he did in college, he'll make a lot of noise in the pros.  

2nd Round:

33.Jacksonville Jaguars: Bernhard Raimann, tackle (Central Michigan)

34.Detroit Lions: Jalen Pitre, cornerback/safety (Baylor)

35.New York Jets: Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

36.New York Giants: Jahan Dotson, wide receiver (Penn State) 

37.Houston Texans: Lewis Cine, safety (Georgia)

38.New York Jets: Jaquan Brisker, safety (Penn State)

39.Chicago Bears: George Pickens, wide receiver (Georgia)

40.Seattle Seahawks: Kyler Gordon, cornerback (Washington)

41.Seattle Seahawks: Quay Walker, inside linebacker (Georgia)

42.Indianapolis Colts: Kaiir Elam, cornerback (Florida)

43.Atlanta Falcons: Sam Howell, quarterback (North Carolina)

44.Cleveland Browns: Skyy Moore, wide receiver (Western Michigan)

45.Baltimore Ravens: Christian Harris, inside linebacker (Alabama)

46.Minnesota Vikings: Travis Jones, defensive tackle (Connecticut) 

47.Washington Commanders: Cole Strange, guard/center (Chattanooga) 

48.Chicago Bears: Arnold Ebiketie, edge rusher (Penn State)

49.New Orleans Saints: Jalen Tolbert, wide receiver (South Alabama)

50.Kansas City Chiefs: David Ojabo, edge rusher (Michigan)

51.Philadelphia Eagles: Leo Chenal, inside linebacker (Wisconsin)

52.Pittsburgh Steelers: Rodger McCreary, cornerback (Auburn)

53.Green Bay Packers: Luke Goedeke, tackle (Central Michigan)

54.New England Patriots: Abraham Lucas, tackle (Washington State)  

55.Arizona Cardinals: Tariq Woolen, cornerback (UTSA)

56.Dallas Cowboys: Drake Jackson, edge rusher (USC)

57.Buffalo Bills: Kenneth Walker III, running back (Michigan State)

58.Atlanta Falcons: Kingsley Enagbare, edge rusher (South Carolina)

59.Green Bay Packers: Alec Pierce, wide receiver (Cincinnati) 

60.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Breece Hall, running back (Iowa State)

61.San Francisco 49ers: Nick Cross, safety (Maryland)

62.Kansas City Chiefs: Logan Hall, defensive tackle (Houston)

63.Cincinnati Bengals: Marcus Jones, cornerback (Houston)

64.Denver Broncos: Trey McBride, tight end (Colorado State)

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

2022 NFL Draft: Top 50 Prospects+Top 5 at Each Position

1.Aidan Hutchinson, edge rusher (Michigan)

2.Kyle Hamilton, safety (Notre Dame)

3.Ikem Ekwonu, tackle (NC State)

4.Derek Stingley Jr., cornerback (LSU)

5.Evan Neal, tackle (Alabama)

6.Garrett Wilson, wide receiver (Ohio State)

7.Devin Lloyd, inside linebacker (Utah)

8.Charles Cross, tackle (Mississippi State)

9.Jameson Williams, wide receiver (Alabama)

10.Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle (Georgia)

11.Kayvon Thibodeux, edge rusher (Oregon)

12.Drake London, wide receiver (USC)

13.Jordan Davis, defensive tackle (Georgia)

14.Trent McDuffie, cornerback (Washington)

15.Sauce Gardner, cornerback (Cincinnati) 

16.Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia)

17.Tyler Linderbaum, center (Iowa)

18.David Ojabo, edge rusher (Michigan)

19.Treylon Burks, wide receiver (Arkansas)

20.Andrew Booth Jr., cornerback (Clemson)

21.Skyy Moore, wide receiver (Western Michigan)

22.Jermaine Johnson II, edge rusher (Florida State)

23.Chris Olave, wide receiver (Ohio State)

24.Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty)

25.Travis Jones, defensive tackle (Connecticut) 

26.Breece Hall, running back (Iowa State)

27.Jaquan Brisker, safety (Penn State)

28.Zion Johnson, guard (Boston College)

29.Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

30.Lewis Cine, safety (Georgia)

31.Dax Hill, safety/cornerback (Michigan)

32.George Karlaftis, edge rusher (Purdue)

33.Bernhard Raimann, tackle (Central Michigan)

34.Khalil Shakir, wide receiver (Boise State)

35.Travon Walker, edge rusher (Georgia)

36.Rodger McCreary, cornerback (Auburn)

37.Sam Howell, quarterback (North Carolina)

38.Trevor Penning, tackle (Northern Iowa)

39.Jalen Pitre, cornerback/safety (Baylor)

40.Jahan Dotson, wide receiver (Penn State)

41.Arnold Ebiketie, edge rusher (Penn State)

42.Kenyon Green, guard/tackle (Texas A&M)

43.Nik Bonitto, edge rusher (Oklahoma)

44.George Pickens, wide receiver (Georgia)

45.Desmond Ridder, quarterback (Cincinnati) 

46.Kyler Gordon, cornerback (Washington)

47.Drake Jackson, edge rusher (USC)

48.Chad Muma, inside linebacker (Wyoming)

49.Jalen Tolbert, wide receiver (South Alabama)

50.Kaiir Elam, cornerback (Florida)

Quarterback:

1.Malik Willis (Liberty)

2.Sam Howell (North Carolina)

3.Desmond Ridder (Cincinnati)

4.Matt Corral (Ole Miss)

5.Kenny Pickett (Pittsburgh)

Running Back:

1.Breece Hall (Iowa State)

2.Dameon Pierce (Florida)

3.Kenneth Walker III (Michigan State)

4.Rachaad White (Arizona State)

5.Tyler Allgeier (BYU)

Wide Receiver:

1.Garrett Wilson (Ohio State)

2.Jameson Williams (Alabama)

3.Drake London (USC)

4.Treylon Burks (Arkansas)

5.Skyy Moore (Western Michigan)

Tight End:

1.Trey McBride (Colorado State)

2.Greg Dulcich (UCLA)

3.Jelani Woods (Virginia)

4.Jeremy Ruckert (Ohio State)

5.Isaiah Likely (Costal Carolina)

Tackle:

1.Ikem Ekonwu (NC State)

2.Evan Neal (Alabama)

3.Charles Cross (Mississippi State)

4.Bernhard Raimann (Central Michigan)

5.Trevor Penning (Northern Iowa)

Guard:

1.Zion Johnson (Boston College)

2.Kenyon Green (Texas A&M)

3.Dylan Parham (Memphis)

4.Cole Strange (Chattanooga)

5.Jamaree Salyer (Georgia)

Center:

1.Tyler Linderbaum (Iowa)

2.Luke Fortner (Kentucky)

3.Dohnovan West (Arizona State)

4.Cam Jurgens (Nebraska)

5.Alec Lindstrom (Boston College)

Defensive Tackle:

1.Devonte Wyatt (Georgia)

2.Jordan Davis (Georgia)

3.Travis Jones (Connecticut) 

4.Logan Hall (Houston)

5.Perrion Winfrey (Oklahoma)

Edge Rusher:

1.Aidan Hutchinson (Michigan)

2.Kayvon Thibodeux (Oregon)

3.David Ojabo (Michigan)

4.Jermaine Johnson II (Florida State)

5.Boye Mafe (Minnesota)

Inside Linebacker:

1.Devin Lloyd (Utah)

2.Nakobe Dean (Georgia)

3.Chad Muma (Wyoming)

4.Leo Chenal (Wisconsin)

5.Quay Walker (Georgia)

Cornerback:

1.Derek Stingley Jr. (LSU)

2.Trent McDuffie (Washington)

3.Sauce Gardner (Cincinnati)

4.Andrew Booth Jr. (Clemson)

5.Rodger McCreary (Auburn)

Safety:

1.Kyle Hamilton (Notre Dame)

2.Jaquan Brisker (Penn State)

3.Lewis Cine (Georgia)

4.Dax Hill (Michigan)

5.Kerby Joseph (Illinois)

Monday, April 25, 2022

2022 NFL Draft Content Schedule

Wednesday: Top 50 Prospects+ Top 5 at Each Position

Thursday: Final 2 round Mock Draft 

Friday: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 2 

Saturday: Top 50 Prospects Available on Day 3

Sunday: Updated Version of Top 50 Prospects +Top 5 at Each Position with NFL landing spots 

Next Monday: Full Draft Recap with Winners and Losers, Grades and More

  

 

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Quick Movie Reviews: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Metal Lords, Dual

Sonic the Hedgehog 2: Combining wall-to-wall energy, goofy comedy and sincere love of the source material has made 2020's Sonic the Hedgehog a well-crafted piece of blockbuster entertainment that appealed to fans and non-fans of the game alike. By adding iconic characters Knuckles (voiced by Idris Elba) and Tails (voiced by Collen O'Shaughnessy-who also voices the character in the games) to the fold, the sequel finds a way to become more engaging without stripping away any of the things that worked so well the first time around. Putting Knuckles and Tails alongside Sonic allows the film to explore more of Sonic's intergalactic backstory, which means there's more heart and endearing buddy movie shenanigans underneath its goofy, hyperactive exterior along with the arrival of some pretty damn impressive CGI creature vs CGI creature action. As long as Paramount allows them to stick to the simple formula of having fun and finding a way to please the fans without soullessly pandering to them, the Sonic movie franchise will be in good shape for as long as it runs. 

Grade: B

Metal Lords: Metal Lords provides the proud band of outsiders that gravitate towards metal at a young age with the high school comedy they've long deserved. Aside from the co-main character (newcomer Hunter Sylvester) gatekeeping some bands that true metal elitists would view as despicable posers or sellouts (Slipknot, Lamb of God, Metallica), the depiction of a pompous, often deliberately hostile metalhead and his obsession with starting a band with his nerdy best friend (Jaden Martell) that doesn't fully understand the appeal of the genre or what the scene is really about is pretty spot-on. Being someone who passionately embraces all things metal and swiftly condemns everybody who talks shit about or doesn't understand it is something that I recognize from my own experiences of falling in love with metal growing up and the reverence it shows for the genre and its fans is demonstrated not only by its understanding of what makes them tick, but the jokes it makes at their expense. While there's some eye-rolling contrivances present in its subplots (the metalhead kid's relationship with his rich plastic surgeon father, the romantic relationship and non-metal musical opportunity that steers the nerdy best friend away from the metalhead kid for a bit) that don't mesh overly well with its celebration of misfits coming together, any coming-of-age teen comedy where the obligatory feel-good finale involves a group of unsuspecting high school kids warmly receiving their peers playing a thrash metal song at a school-sponsored Battle of the Bands is alright in my book. 

Grade: B

Dual: Writer/director Riley Stearns (Faults, The Art of Self-Defense) returns with another deeply cynical dark comedy that captures the organic absurdity and immortality of human life in deadpan fashion. Dual tells the story of Sarah (Karen Gillan), a young woman who decides to get a clone of herself after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. After Sarah makes a miraculous recovery, the clone decides she doesn't want to be decommissioned and the two are forced to engage in a duel to the death for the right to live Sarah's life. Stearns' script along with Gillan's terrific dual performances do a great job of juxtaposing the overwhelming coldness of the human characters (Beluah Koale, Maija Paunio and Aaron Paul portray the pivotal figures in Sarah's life) with the warmth and curiosity the clones enter their existence with, the comedy is Stearns' most effective to date with a lot of small details resulting in big comedic payoffs further down the line and while the purposefully approach to the ending will frustrate the hell out of some viewers, I found it to be a hilarious conclusion that played into many of the film's primary themes (self-image, the hypocritical struggle of fearing death and being unhappy with your own life, lack of empathy for the death of strangers) perfectly.        

Grade: B

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Craig Robinson Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Craig Robinson-whose latest project "The Bad Guys" releases in theaters tomorrow night. 

Craig Robinson's Filmography Ranked:

19.Songbird (D)

18.Miss March (D+)

17.Tragedy Girls (D+)

16.Table 19 (C)

15.Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (C+)

14.Jay and Silent Reboot (B-)

13.The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (B-)

12.Morris from America (B-)

11.Fanboys (B)

10.Pineapple Express (B)

9.An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (B+)

8.Get on Up (B+)

7.Sausage Party (A-)

6.Zach and Miri Make a Porno (A)

5.Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (A)

4.Dolemite is My Name (A)

3.Hot Tub Time Machine (A)

2.This is the End (A)

1.Knocked Up (A+)

Top Dog: Knocked Up (2007)

Seeing Knocked Up in a theater was such an incredible experience. Everybody in the room was audibly reacting to every absurd, vulgar and emotional note Judd Apatow's sophomore directorial effort threw out there and save for Superbad later the same year, I've never seen a theater eat up a comedy like that in my life. While it never quite hit the same on the subsequent home viewings I've had since that Friday night in June 2007, it's still a perfect comedy that packs a whole lot of laughs, heart and magnetic characters into 2 hours.   

Lowlight: Songbird (2020)

Back in the summer of 2020, some actors were extremely eager to return to work after spending a whopping 3-4 months locked in their homes during the initial COVID lockdown. That eagerness led them to accept parts in projects that they probably wouldn't have under different circumstances. Songbird ended up being the most noteworthy of these projects. Basically, a couple of faceless hacks whipped up a disjointed, nonsensical dystopian romance that uses COVID as a plot device during the lockdown period, recruited the aforementioned overeager, typically gainfully employed actors (KJ Apa, Sofia Carson, Demi Moore, Bradley Whitford, Alexandra Daddario, Paul Walter Hauser, Robinson, Peter Stormare) in Los Angeles to star in it, a poorly-run studio in STX bought the distribution rights after it was done filming in August with the belief that they had a timely hit on their hands and by December, it was out in the world. Truly an inspiring story of how laziness, greed and desperation from multiple parties birthed a really shit movie that most people out there aren't even aware exists.     

Most Overrated: Tragedy Girls (2017)

No horror comedy that's generated buzz on the festival circuit in recent years has resonated with me less than Tragedy Girls. The pairing of obnoxious, self-righteous characters with failed attempts at black comedy that are more gross and mean-spirited than morbidly funny made this coming-of-age slasher picture really unpleasant to sit through.

Most Underrated: Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) 

Whether it's a product of nostalgia for this era of comedy movies or simply a case of me romanticizing Kevin Smith's pre-Captive State filmography, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a film that I unabashedly love to this day. By some form of miracle that's powered by the incredible chemistry between its leads (Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks), scene-stealing turns from its supporting cast (Robinson, Jeff Anderson, Tyler Labine in one of the most impactful 1-scene performances in cinema history) and Smith bringing a ton of goofy passion to the proceedings, Zack and Miri Make a Porno manages to succeed at being a genuinely sweet romantic comedy and filthy, gross-out sex comedy at the exact same time.

Netflix Streaming Recommendation for Fans of Really Silly, Strange Comedy Movies: An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (2018)

The polarizing nature of An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn can't be emphasized enough. A lot of people won't be able to get on its wavelength and will regret exposing their eyeballs and earholes to something that's so monumentally dumb within 20 minutes of pressing play. But if you want to see a pretty large collection of recognizable faces (Aubrey Plaza, Robinson, Jermaine Clement, Emile Hirsch, Zach Cherry from the current Apple TV+ smash hit Severance, Matt Berry from FX's What We Do in the Shadows) bring their talents to something that journeys really far down the oddball absurdist comedy rabbit hole, An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn could very well end up becoming one of your new favorite movies.  

Monday, April 18, 2022

2022 NFL Mock Draft 5.0 (4/18)

1.Jacksonville Jaguars: Aidan Hutchinson, edge rusher (Michigan)

2.Detroit Lions: Travon Walker, edge rusher (Georgia)

3.Houston Texans: Ikem Ekonwu, tackle (NC State)

4.New York Jets: Sauce Gardner, cornerback (Cincinnati) 

5.New York Giants: Evan Neal, tackle (Alabama)

6.Carolina Panthers: Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty)

7.New York Giants: Kayvon Thibodeaux, edge rusher (Oregon)

8.Atlanta Falcons: Kenny Pickett, quarterback (Pittsburgh)

9.Seattle Seahawks: Charles Cross, tackle (Mississippi State)

10.New York Jets: Jameson Williams, wide receiver (Alabama)

11.Washington Commanders: Kyle Hamilton, safety (Notre Dame)

12.Minnesota Vikings: Derek Stingley Jr., cornerback (LSU)

13.Houston Texans: Jermaine Johnson II, edge rusher (Florida State)

14.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Davis, defensive tackle (Georgia)

15.Philadelphia Eagles: Drake London, wide receiver (USC)

16.New Orleans Saints: Garrett Wilson, wide receiver (Ohio State)

17.Los Angeles Chargers: Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle (Georgia)

18.Philadelphia Eagles: Devin Lloyd, inside linebacker (Utah)

19.New Orleans Saints: Trevor Penning, tackle (Northern Iowa)

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Trent McDuffie, cornerback (Washington)

21.New England Patriots: Bernhard Raimann, tackle (Central Michigan)

22.Green Bay Packers: Chris Olave, wide receiver (Ohio State)

23.Arizona Cardinals: Kyler Gordon, cornerback (Washington)

24.Dallas Cowboys: Tyler Smith, tackle (Tulsa)

25.Buffalo Bills: Andrew Booth Jr., cornerback (Clemson)

26.Tennessee Titans: Tyler Linderbaum, center/guard (Iowa)

27.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Zion Johnson, guard (Boston College)

28.Green Bay Packers: George Karalaftis, edge rusher (Purdue)

29.Kansas City Chiefs: Treylon Burks, wide receiver (Arkansas)

30.Kansas City Chiefs: Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

31.Cincinnati Bengals: Kenyon Green, guard/tackle (Texas A&M)

32.Detroit Lions: Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia)

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Movie Review: Everything Everywhere All at Once

 

"IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE!!!!" has become the de facto answer when people are asked to explain the premise of Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert's (aka Daniels) Everything Everywhere All at Once. As boring and maddening of an answer that is, it's the most logical one possible. Not only would trying to provide some kind of summary of the plot quickly turn into a needlessly long exercise, but it would also spoil the wide array of tricks and surprises this film has up its sleeves.

What Daniels cooked up here is a wide-spanning cinematic journey that needs to be seen in order to be truly believed and understood. All of the martial arts sequences that have been at the center of the marketing campaign are zany, borderline touching homages to the works of Stephen Chow and Jackie Chan. There's a playful sense of absurdity present that leads to a bunch of bizarre, ridiculous jokes that will likely delight fans of cult comedies like Wet Hot American Summer, Kung Pow!: Enter the Fist or last year's Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar. It's an overdue showcase for the diverse gifts of a group of actors that have long been ignored or boxed in by the constraints of typecasting (Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, James Wong, Jamie Lee Curtis) as well as a proper introduction to an up-and-comer (Stephanie Hsu) who had never got a sizable enough role to show what she's really made of until now. And most impressively once all the manic dust settles, Everything Everywhere All at Once reveals itself to be a moving reflection on cutting through all of the noise this cruel, bizarre and weird planet emits to discover what truly matters in life. Sitting back and connecting the dots with this one is really fun and it's frankly unbelievable that Daniels were able to cover so much emotional/genre territory without compromising the film's cohesiveness or ability to execute its larger narrative goals.           

While the mental fatigue brought on by the constant universe jumping caused me to enjoy this film a bit less than most people, the originality, audacity, hilarity and beauty that occupies the heart of Everything Everywhere All at Once makes it a singular project that will be dazzling the weirdos of the world for generations to come. Using concepts like parallel universes and absurdist humor to tell what eventually reveals itself to be a very simple human story is a really inspired choice and a big win for cinema maximalists everywhere. Strange, unique creatives make movies more exciting and Everything Everywhere All at Once ensures that Daniels will be get many more opportunities to provide their brand of excitement to the masses.    

Grade: B+

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Mark Wahlberg Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Mark Wahlberg-whose latest project "Father Stu" is in theaters now.

Mark Wahlberg's Filmography Ranked:

36.Max Payne (D)

35.Transformers: Age of Extinction (D+)

34.Broken City (D+)

33.Planet of the Apes (D+)

32.The Perfect Storm (C-)

31.Rock Star (C-)

30.Deepwater Horizon (C+)

29.Joe Bell (B-)

28.The Happening (B-)

27.Uncharted (B-)

26.Boogie Nights (B-)

25.Daddy's Home 2 (B)

24.Daddy's Home (B)

23.Date Night (B)

22.We Own the Night (B)

21.The Gambler (B)

20.Patriots Day (B)

19.Mile 22 (B)

18.All the Money in the World (B)

17.Shooter (B)

16.I Heart Huckabees (B)

15.Invincible (B)

14.Instant Family (B)

13.Four Brothers (B)

12.Ted 2 (B+)

11.Spenser Confidential (B+)

10.Lone Survivor (B+)

9.Contraband (B+)

8.2 Guns (B+)

7.Three Kings (B+)

6.The Italian Job (A)

5.Ted (A)

4.Pain & Gain (A)

3.The Other Guys (A)

2.The Fighter (A)

1.The Departed (A+)

Top Dog: The Departed (2006)

Wahlberg's acting chops constantly get dumped on and considering how stiff of a presence he can be on screen; those criticisms are really hard to argue against. One thing that nobody can take away from Wahlberg as an actor is the Oscar nomination he received for The Departed. Some would argue against the nomination on the basis of Wahlberg not having to dig too deep to play a stoic, foul-mouthed Boston cop, but I'd say that Wahlberg's firsthand knowledge of the city gave his performance an authenticity that helped the film stay at least reasonably grounded. The rest of the movie happens to be pretty good too. 

Lowlight: Max Payne (2008) 

The trailer editors that were able to make something that is so devoid of atmosphere and excitement look like an exceptionally badass noir action classic are fucking incredible at their jobs. Max Payne is a completely DOA revenge movie with a messy plot, poor performances by a collection of universally miscast actors (Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Ludacris, Chris O'Donell, Amaury Nolasco, Kate Burton, Donal Logue, Nelly Furtado) and really flat direction from the completely indistinct John Moore (A Good Day to Die Hard, The Omen).   

Most Underrated: Pain & Gain (2013)

Being exposed to the frantic brilliance of Ambulance this past weekend got me thinking about Michael Bay's filmography on the whole. As terrific as his best work in the action movie space (Bad Boys, The Rock, Ambulance) has been, Pain & Gain remains my favorite movie of his. Pairing Bay's chaotic energy with a bitingly hilarious script from Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (The Chronicles of Narnia trilogy, about 15 MCU projects) and group of actors (Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Ed Harris, Tony Shalhoub, Rob Corddry, Rebel Wilson) who weren't afraid to really lean into the immense darkness present in this fact-based story makes Pain & Gain a really potent examination of what the American Dream looks like when some real piece of shit human beings are the ones chasing it.    

Most Overrated: Boogie Nights (1997)

I've got a downright colossal collection of unpopular opinions on movies, but the ones regarding Paul Thomas Anderson are near the top of the list. Outside of Licorice Pizza-which I shockingly really liked; I've found Anderson's movies to be undone by their glacial pacing and cold direction. While it's not my least favorite film of his, Boogie Nights does provide the best examples of the problems I have with Anderson as a director. He somehow managed to make a terrifically acted, beautifully shot saga about the excesses of the porn industry in the 70's/80's relatively boring. Sex, drug use and various forays into crime are depicted with the same level of energy that Joe Namath brings to his Medicare Coverage Helpline ad's and approaching scenes featuring chaotic behavior in such mundane fashion is a creative choice that simply doesn't work or make any sense.    

Best 80's Action Movie Released 3 Decades Late: 2 Guns (2013)

2 Guns is the best kind of throwback movie because it never feels like a product of the era it was actually released in. Government-conspiracy plot that is borderline incomprehensible? Check. Sarcasm-fueled reluctant buddy dynamic between the two polar opposite characters that are forced to team up? Check. Big, slick shootouts that are peppered with effective bits of comedy? Check. A cameo from Mr. T, car chase featuring several muscle cars getting destroyed and montage set to Ratt are the only things preventing this from reaching its peak 80's form.

Movie That I'm Thrilled that I Decided to Rewatch in the Past Week: The Happening (2008)

Revisiting The Happening for the first time since seeing it in theaters on opening night (June 13, 2008) brought a striking revelation to light: I don't think it was meant to be taken seriously. There's intentional comedy present in nearly every scene that seems to have been obscured by the cheap-looking deaths and heavily memed scenes ("Hot Dog Guy", Wahlberg talking to the plant). Now, this doesn't mean The Happening still doesn't have its share of issues: The pacing is pretty stagnant for a 90-minute movie and both Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel's performances are pretty poor. This rewatch did however get me to realize that this is a flawed, intentionally funny disaster movie opposed to the unintentionally hilarious disaster that I thought it was 14 years ago.

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Movie Review: Ambulance

Thought the madness of Michael Bay could be contained by a modest $40 mil budget? Think again! If anything, having a much smaller pile of cash at his disposal than usual forced him to transfer his chaotic energy into something that was driven by constant, contained action opposed to the sprawling, CGI-riddled setpieces that drove 6 Underground and the Transformers films. The distilling of his spectacle-heavy brand of filmmaking into a relentless, adrenaline-fueled package is what makes Ambulance one of Bay's finest hours as a director and his best pure action film since The Rock.

Ambulance takes basically no time to make its intentions clear. After the opening 15 minutes where the desperate situation that causes unemployed veteran Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II-who reenforces why he's a rising superstar with a quietly charismatic performance that boasts a surprising amount of nuance for a film that is rooted in palpable extremes) to reluctantly accept a gig robbing a downtown Los Angeles bank with his adopted brother Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal-who is in pure ham mode and loving every minute of it), and the strained, but loving relationship between Will and Danny is set up, Bay puts his foot on the gas and doesn't even consider looking back for a second. What follows is 2 hours of unimpeded relentless chaos that sees Bay enter full maniac maestro mode. 

The practical car stunts that stem from the real time 90–100-minute chase sequence that ensues once the brothers hijack an ambulance that has an EMT (Eiza Gonzalez in her most rewarding role to date) and wounded cop (Jackson White) onboard after the robbery goes sideways are so nutty that it's shocking that the lawyers at Universal and Los Angeles city government actually granted permission for them to be done. There's so much rapid switching between vantage points and camera angles that the line between drones, handheld and dolly shots quickly gets blurred. The confined setting paired with the life-or-death scenarios that are happening inside and outside creates a combustible human dynamic where fear, absurdity, and sadness are the only things that can thrive. 

When a director that is such a natural at staging action that is brimming with immediacy and panache is paired with a cast that embraces working in such a freewheelingly wild environment, a feeling that is as close to spontaneity as a scripted films can possibly get develops and that undercurrent of organic looseness makes Ambulance an exhilaratingly rebellious outlier at a time where blockbusters are becoming more and more buttoned up.     

Grade: A-

Monday, April 11, 2022

2022 NFL Mock Draft 4.0 (4/11)

 1.Jacksonville Jaguars: Aidan Hutchinson, edge rusher (Michigan)

2.Detroit Lions: Travon Walker, edge rusher (Georgia)

3.Houston Texans: Evan Neal, tackle (Alabama)

4.New York Jets: Sauce Gardner, cornerback (Cincinnati) 

5.New York Giants: Ickey Ekonwu, tackle (NC State)

6.Carolina Panthers: Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty)

7.New York Giants: Kayvon Thibodeaux, edge rusher (Oregon)

8.Atlanta Falcons: Kenny Pickett, quarterback (Pittsburgh)

9.Seattle Seahawks: Charles Cross, tackle (Mississippi State)

10.New York Jets: Garrett Wilson, wide receiver (Ohio State)

11.Washington Commanders: Kyle Hamilton, safety (Notre Dame)

12.Minnesota Vikings: Derek Stingley Jr., cornerback (LSU)

13.Houston Texans: Jermaine Johnson II, edge rusher (Florida State)

14.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Davis, defensive tackle (Georgia)

15.Philadelphia Eagles: Devin Lloyd, inside linebacker (Utah)

16.New Orleans Saints: Trevor Penning, tackle (Northern Iowa)

17.Los Angeles Chargers: Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle (Georgia) 

18.Philadelphia Eagles: Drake London, wide receiver (USC)

19.New Orleans Saints: Sam Howell, quarterback (North Carolina)

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Trent McDuffie, cornerback (Washington)

21.New England Patriots: Tyler Linderbaum, center/guard (Iowa)

22.Green Bay Packers: Chris Olave, wide receiver (Ohio State)

23.Arizona Cardinals: Andrew Booth Jr., cornerback (Clemson)

24.Dallas Cowboys: Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

25.Buffalo Bills: Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia)

26.Tennessee Titans: Zion Johnson, guard (Boston College)

27.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Dax Hill, safety (Michigan)

28.Green Bay Packers: George Karlaftis, edge rusher (Purdue)

29.Kansas City Chiefs: Jameson Williams, wide receiver (Alabama)

30.Kansas City Chiefs: Travis Jones, defensive tackle (UConn)

31.Cincinnati Bengals: Kyler Gordon, cornerback (Washington)

32.Detroit Lions: Treylon Burks, wide receiver (Arkansas) 

Thursday, April 7, 2022

Jim Carrey Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted accolades and superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Jim Carrey-whose latest project "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" hits theaters tonight. 

Jim Carrey's Filmography Ranked:

19.The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (D+)

18.Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (C-)

17.How the Grinch Stole Christmas (C-)

16.Dumb and Dumber To (C)

15.Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (C)

14.Fun with Dick and Jane (C+)

13.Batman Forever (C+)

12.Mr. Popper's Penguins (B-)

11.Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (B)

10.Bruce Almighty (B)

9.Sonic the Hedgehog (B)

8.The Truman Show (B)

7.Kick-Ass 2 (B+)

6.The Mask (B+)

5.Yes Man (B+)

4.Liar Liar (B+)

3.Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (B+)

2.Dumb and Dumber (B+)

1.Me, Myself & Irene (A)

Top Dog: Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

Everything Carrey did in the 90's was just an extended warm-up for the masterclass he put on Me, Myself & Irene. Playing a dual role in this manic Farrelly Brothers project provides Carrey with the perfect vehicle to showcase his physical and silly comedy gifts, which catapults this movie to a level of hilarity that none of his other movies have reached.    

Lowlight: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013)

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is an unwelcome throwback to the 90's and 2000's when studios would routinely get a bunch of funny people together then churn out an inexplicably lazy, unfunny turd. Here, Steve Carrell, Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde, Carrey, Alan Arkin and James Gandolfini were the unlucky gifted souls that found themselves trapped in a movie that spectacularly fails in its efforts to poke fun at the ridiculous world of celebrity magicians.     

Most Overrated: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

While watching Adaptation a few years ago made me realize that Charlie Kaufman's work could be much more insufferable than this, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is still smug, quirky and pretentious enough to remain pretty off-putting to me.

Most Underrated: Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Making a sequel to a cult favorite movie that turned the superhero genre on its head was a tall order made even more difficult by the fact that the director of the original wasn't making it (Jeff Wadlow took over for Matthew Vaughn). While Kick-Ass 2 definitely falls short of the original, the further development of the spiritual sibling bond between Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), a darkly hilarious performance from Carrey as Kick-Ass' new vigilante ally Colonel Stars and Stripes and another round of wild, bloody action sequences are certainly enough to dub it a worthy continuation of the franchise.     

Comedy That Has Probably Aged the Worst: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a goofy 90's classic that played an integral part in Carrey's ascent to Hollywood stardom. The dark side to its revered status is that a lot of the humor probably doesn't hold up to scrutiny 28 years later. It's not exactly a secret that there are a good number of jokes here that are rooted in blatant homophobia and transphobia here-which is a recurring theme in comedies from this era that has only become more glaring in recent years- and that discriminatory bullshit definitely chips away at the nostalgic power its long held for people that are currently between the ages of 25 and 40. One of these days I'll have to figure out how much this adulthood revelation impacts my actual enjoyment of it     

2000's Carrey Comedy That is Better than Most of his 90's Work: Yes Man (2008)

What differentiates Yes Man from much of Carrey's early work is the sheer amount of warmth radiating it from it. This film manages to be really sweet, upbeat and positive while also being consistently funny and silly. Heart, humor and stupidity is a really winning combination for Carrey and I'm kind of surprised that he hasn't chosen to explore this side of himself further over the past decade or so.   

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Movie Review: The Bubble

The stress, isolation and uncertainty brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic triggered substantial shifts in certain individuals' behavior. For Judd Apatow, that change was forgetting what made him one of the most impactful and influential comedic filmmakers that Hollywood has ever seen. His pandemic-birthed creative endeavor The Bubble is a head-scratching affair that falls so far below that rest of his directorial efforts that it's hard to fathom that the same person that made The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up was behind it.  

What makes the execution of The Bubble particularly puzzling is that boasts a really promising setup: A group of actors (Karen Gillan, David Duchovny, Iris Apatow, Keegan-Michael Key, Pedro Pascal, Leslie Mann, Guz Khan) working on a major studio movie during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic find themselves struggling to adapt to the restrictions that are imposed on set and in the bubble hotel the studio is requiring them to stay at. That premise implies that The Bubble will provide Apatow with the type of loose sandbox he needs to create a showbiz comedy that is full of absurdity, insanity and satirical shots at the entitlement and self-importance of people that work in the film industry. To be fair, The Bubble is indeed a satire that takes aim at the Hollywood machine that contains some absurd and insane events, there just isn't a whole lot of significant laughs to be had while that playbook is being run.

Nearly every gag that The Bubble produces feels like it was much funnier on the page than it is in practice. Even the bits that do actually work including a dinosaur/human dance number led by Iris Apatow's TikTok star character being inserted into the movie at the last minute, a Zoom concert intended to boost morale among the cast and a surprisingly morbid gag involving an individual's failed attempt to escape the quarantine hotel, the zippy camaraderie and emphatic punchlines that have defined Apatow's past projects are mostly MIA. Seeing a group of naturally funny performers (in addition to the aforementioned leads, Fred Armisen, Kate McKinnon, Peter Serafinowicz, Vir Das, Rob Delaney and Borat Subsequent Moviefilm breakout Maria Bakalova round out the primary cast) being guided by a director that boasts impeccable comedic instincts turn out such half-hearted efforts is really disheartening. While the script has some problems with setting up spaces for jokes to build and really leaning into the absurdity of the situations its characters find themselves in, a lot of those issues could've been nullified if the jokes had been delivered with conviction and it's supremely odd to see Apatow and this group of actors show so little interest in doing so. 

Considering that I believe his previous film The King of Staten Island is one of his best, I'm willing to chalk up The Bubble as an outlier misfire for Apatow. COVID lockdowns did a lot of weird shit to people brains and creating a lukewarm "topical" project that probably wouldn't have left his computer screen if it wasn't for the generosity of the Netflix Entertainment Bank was the symptom of Apatow's time spent in that hazy time capsule. The lessons gained from this failed experiment should be enough for Apatow to get back on track with his next film and if they aren't, it'll be time to start really questioning if his head and heart are still in the moviemaking business.    

Grade: C+

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

2022 NFL Draft: Top 25 Prospects Available

We're just over 3 weeks away from the NFL Draft, which means it's time to offer up some early takes on this year's crop of prospects. While the 2022 class lacks the volume of "can't miss" talent that populated the top of the board in each of the past few drafts, the depth of this group-particularly at key positions like wide receiver, edge rusher and tackle-appears to be pretty strong. Here are the 25 prospects that I've evaluated so far that I like the most. 

Still Need to Evaluate: David Ojabo, Andrew Booth Jr., Kaiir Elam, Dax Hill, Rodger McCreary, Jalen Pitre, Bernhard Raimann, Lewis Cine, Leo Chenal, Jahan Dotson, George Pickens, Kyler Gordon, Tyler Smith, Jaquan Brisker, Chad Muma, Nik Bonitto, DeMarvin Leal, Brandon Smith, Brian Asamoah, Travis Jones, Arnold Ebiketie, Drake Jackson, John Metchie III, Carson Strong, Dameon Pierce, Kingsley Enagbare, Justyn Ross, Quay Walker, James Cook, Abraham Lucas, Kerby Joseph, Jalen Tolbert, Tyler Allgeier, Kyren Williams, Brian Robinson Jr., Martin Emerson, Nick Cross, David Bell, Bryan Cook, Cameron Thomas, Josh Paschal, All of the tight ends  

1.Aidan Hutchinson, edge rusher (Michigan)

2.Kyle Hamilton, safety (Notre Dame)

3.Ikem Ekwonu, tackle (NC State)

4.Derek Stingley Jr., cornerback (LSU)

5.Evan Neal, tackle (Alabama)

6.Garrett Wilson, wide receiver (Ohio State)

7.Devin Lloyd, inside linebacker (Utah)

8.Charles Cross, tackle (Mississippi State) 

9.Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle (Georgia)

10.Jameson Williams, wide receiver (Alabama)

11.Kayvon Thibodeaux, edge rusher (Oregon)

12.Drake London, wide receiver (USC)

13.Jordan Davis, defensive tackle (Georgia)

14.Trent McDuffie, cornerback (Washington)

15.Sauce Gardner, cornerback (Cincinnati) 

16.Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia)

17.Tyler Linderbaum, center/guard (Iowa)

18.Treylon Burks, wide receiver (Arkansas)

19.Skyy Moore. wide receiver (Western Michigan)

20.Jermaine Johnson II, edge rusher (Florida State)

21.Chris Olave, wide receiver (Ohio State)

22.Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty)

23.Breece Hall, running back (Iowa State)

24.Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

25.Christian Watson, wide receiver (North Dakota State)

Monday, April 4, 2022

2022 NFL Mock Draft 3.0 (4/4)

1.Jacksonville Jaguars: Aidan Hutchinson, edge rusher (Michigan)

2.Detroit Lions: Travon Walker, edge rusher (Georgia)

3.Houston Texans: Evan Neal, tackle (Alabama)

4.New York Jets: Sauce Gardner, cornerback (Cincinnati) 

5.New York Giants: Ikem Ekonwu, tackle (NC State)

6.Carolina Panthers: Malik Willis, quarterback (Liberty)

7.New York Giants: Kyle Hamilton, safety (Notre Dame)

8.Atlanta Falcons: Drake London, wide receiver (USC)

9.Seattle Seahawks: Charles Cross, tackle (Mississippi State) 

10.New York Jets: Kayvon Thibodeaux, edge rusher (Oregon)

11.Washington Commanders: Garrett Wilson, wide receiver (Ohio State)

12.Minnesota Vikings: Derek Stingley Jr., cornerback (LSU)

13.Houston Texans: Jermaine Johnson II, edge rusher (Florida State)

14.Baltimore Ravens: Jordan Davis, defensive tackle (Georgia)

15.Philadelphia Eagles: Trent McDuffie, cornerback (Washington)

16.New Orleans Saints: Chris Olave, wide receiver (Ohio State)

17.Los Angeles Chargers: Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle (Georgia)

18.Philadelphia Eagles: Nakobe Dean, inside linebacker (Georgia)

19.New Orleans Saints: Kenny Pickett, quarterback (Pittsburgh)

20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Tyler Linderbaum, center/guard (Iowa)

21.New England Patriots: Dax Hill, safety (Michigan)

22.Green Bay Packers: Treylon Burks, wide receiver (Arkansas)

23.Arizona Cardinals: Andrew Booth Jr., cornerback (Clemson)

24.Dallas Cowboys: Boye Mafe, edge rusher (Minnesota)

25.Buffalo Bills: Kaiir Elam, cornerback (Florida)

26.Tennesee Titans: Kenyon Green, guard/tackle (Texas A&M)

27.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Zion Johnson, guard (Boston College)

28.Green Bay Packers: George Karalaftis, edge rusher (Purdue)

29.Kansas City Chiefs: Jameson Williams, wide receiver (Alabama)

30.Kansas City Chiefs: Jalen Pitre, safety/cornerback (Baylor)

31.Cincinnati Bengals: Rodger McCreary, cornerback (Auburn)

32.Detroit Lions: Skyy Moore, wide receiver (Western Michigan)