Cameron Diaz Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Cameron Diaz-whose latest project "Back in Action" releases on Netflix this Friday.  

Cameron Diaz's Filmography Ranked:

20.The Other Woman (D-)

19.Very Bad Things (D)

18.The Counselor (D+)

17.What to Expect When You're Expecting (D+)

16.The Sweetest Thing (C-)

15.Any Given Sunday (C-)

14.Sex Tape (C)

13.Charlie's Angels (C)

12.Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (C+)

11.The Green Hornet (B-)

10.Knight and Day (B-)

9.Bad Teacher (B-)

8.Gangs of New York (B-)

7.The Holiday (B-)

6.Being John Malkovich (B-)

5.Shrek 2 (B)

4.The Mask (B)

3.There's Something About Mary (B+)

2.Shrek (B+)

1.Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (A)

Top Dog: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Just the ultimate adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's borderline unadaptable material. Terry Gilliam flawlessly captures the psychedelic, paranoid absurdist comedy of Thompson's fragmented substance-fueled writing via a wildly entertaining episodic narrative and Johnny Depp and Benicio del Toro fully embrace the madness their characters get into with their demented, hilarious performances.     

Bottom Feeder: The Other Woman (2014)

The first of the three Diaz films released in 2014 before she elected to go on a decade-long hiatus from acting, The Other Woman is an awful movie full of unfunny jokes and bad performances from an ensemble cast (Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Nicki Minaj, Don Johnson) that have zero chemistry together.  

Most Underrated: Bad Teacher (2011)

Are there plenty of other R-rated comedies that I'd rather watch than Bad Teacher? Absolutely. I just happen to think this movie is far funnier than it's given credit for. Diaz is a hoot as the titular selfish, disengaged shitbag teacher who goes to great lengths to try and woo her new co-worker (Justin Timberlake) and Jason Segel does some of the most underrated comedic work of his career as the affable gym teacher who has a crush on her.  

Most Overrated: Any Given Sunday (1999)

Oliver Stone's barrage of frantic editing and camerawork techniques become exhausting before this bloated below average soap opera about a flailing football team whose fortunes reserve when their third-string quarterback (Jamie Foxx) is forced into action reaches the one-hour mark. Adding to its grating nature is Al Pacino turning in his Mona Lisa of ineffective overacting as the team's aging legendary coach Tony D'Amato and a breathtakingly stupid ending that makes the finale of Draft Day look completely grounded.       

2024 NFL All-Pro Team

Quarterback

1st team: Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

2nd team: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Running Back

1st team: Saquon Barkley (Eagles), Derrick Henry (Ravens)

2nd team: Josh Jacobs (Packers), Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

Wide Receiver

1st team: Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals), Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

2nd team: Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions), Drake London (Falcons)

Tight End

1st team: George Kittle (49ers)

2nd team: Brock Bowers (Raiders)

Tackle

1st team: Jordan Mailata (Eagles), Zach Tom (Packers)

2nd team: Rashawn Slater (Chargers), Penei Sewell (Lions)   

Guard

1st team: Chris Lindstrom (Falcons), Kevin Zeitler (Lions)

2nd team: Quenton Nelson (Colts), Quinn Minerz (Broncos)

Center

1st team: Creed Humphrey (Chiefs)

2nd team: Frank Ragnow (Lions)

Defensive End

1st team: Myles Garrett (Browns), Trey Hendrickson (Bengals)

2nd team: Nick Bosa (49ers), Leonard Williams (Seahawks)

Defensive Tackle

1st team: Cameron Heyward (Steelers), Chris Jones (Chiefs)

2nd team: Jeffrey Simmons (Titans), Dexter Lawrence (Giants)

Outside Linebacker

1st team: T.J. Watt (Steelers), Jonathan Greenard (Vikings)

2nd team: Jared Verse (Rams), Khalil Mack (Chargers)

Inside Linebacker

1st team: Zack Baun (Eagles), Fred Warner (49ers)

2nd team: Bobby Wagner (Commanders), Jordyn Brooks (Dolphins)

Cornerback

1st team: Patrick Surtain II (Broncos), Trent McDuffie (Chiefs)

2nd team: Christian Benford (Bills), Marlon Humphrey (Ravens)

Safety

1st team: Kerby Joseph (Lions), Xavier McKinney (Packers)

2nd team: Kyle Hamilton (Ravens), Brandon Jones (Broncos)

Kicker

1st team: Chris Boswell (Steelers)

2nd team: Cameron Dicker (Chargers)

Punter

1st team: Jack Fox (Lions)

2nd team: Logan Cooke (Jaguars)

Return Specialist:

1st team: KaVontae Turpin (Cowboys), Marvin Mims Jr. (Broncos)

2nd team: Austin Ekeler (Commanders), Kalif Raymond (Lions)

Special Teamer:

1st team: Brenden Schooler (Patriots)

2nd team: J.T. Gray (Saints)

NFL Wild Card Predictions

Los Angeles Chargers over Houston Texans:

Wild Card Weekend wouldn't be quite the same if the Texans weren't playing in the 4:30 PM EST slot on Saturday. Unfortunately for them, they drew the shittiest matchup they possibly could in this round in the Chargers. A Texans offense that has been stagnant as hell for much of the past month is going to have their work cut out for them against a Chargers defense that is physical and fast at all 3 levels and Justin Herbert-whose quietly been playing the best football of his career this year despite being in Greg Roman's ultraconservative system-should be eager to prove his doubters wrong in his 1st playoff game since the infamous debacle against the Jaguars 2 years ago.  

Balitmore Ravens over Pittsburgh Steelers:

Anything can happen when divisional opponents meet for the 3rd time in a season. However, it would be a major shock if the Ravens didn't take this game-even with top wideout Zay Flowers out of the lineup with a knee sprain and the very legit concerns that remain over Lamar Jackson's ability to deliver in the playoffs. The Steelers have looked overmatched and completely rudderless during their current 4-game losing game streak while the Ravens have been rolling over the same stretch-going 4-0 and beating their opponents by a combined score of 135-43 (including a 34-17 win over the Steelers on December 21st). It's going to take a major change of fortune for this Steelers team to win this game given how terrible they've played over the last month and I just don't see them being able to do that against a Ravens offense that can wear you down with Derrick Henry or attack you through the air in a variety of ways and a defense that has really tightened up over the last 8 weeks or so after a rough start to the year.   

Buffalo Bills over Denver Broncos:

This is a sneaky prime upset spot on this slate. As much as everybody in Buffalo would like to forget that it happened, it was just 2 short years ago on Wild Card Weekend that they narrowly defeated the Skylar Thompson-led Dolphins on their home field and it would be the most Bills thing in the world to overlook a Broncos team that isn't overly talented on paper and is led by a rookie quarterback that most people think is just fine as a player. Despite the plausibility of this scenario playing out, I'm just not confident enough in the Broncos as an operation to pick them to win. Josh Allen is a dynamic enough quarterback to potentially shred their solid but overrated defense that has gotten torched by great QB's including Lamar Jackson, Joe Burrow and Justin Herbert this season, Sean Payton has gone 4-7 in the playoffs since winning the Super Bowl with the Saints in 2009 and excluding last week's win against the Chiefs backups, the Broncos are a horrid 1-5 against playoff teams during the 2024 campaign.    

Philadelphia Eagles over Green Bay Packers:

Can the Packers knock off a heavily favored NFC East team as the #7 seed for a 2nd straight season? Sure. Their run defense-which has been great since roughly the halfway point of the season-has what it takes to slow down Saquon Barkley-who is the undisputed focal point of their offense and Matt LaFluer is capable of coaching circles around Nick Sirianni. But just like the Broncos, I'm just not quite sold on them having the horses required to beat a loaded Eagles team. The Packers secondary is very exploitable if Jalen Hurts can settle into a groove as a passer after missing the past 2.5 games with a concussion and while Josh Jacobs could find some room to run like he did in their Week 1 matchup in Sao Paulo, Jordan Love being asked to throw against the Eagles top-ranked pass D amidst his current struggles feels like a tall order that he probably won't be able to deliver on.  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers over Washington Commanders:

Picking the Bucs here feels like I'm really playing with fire. Their defense cannot defend the pass at all and their stupid, sloppy performances in 2 of their past 3 games doesn't provide much optimism about their ability to go on a run in the playoffs. It really just comes down to me liking the way Baker Mayfield plays in playoff games and having absolutely zero confidence in Commanders OC Kliff Kingsbury's ability to call the right plays in a high leverage situation like this.     

Los Angeles Rams over Minnesota Vikings:

Setting aside the potential for an emotional boost or drain on account of the devastating wildfires ravaging through LA for a moment, I really like the Rams in this spot. Sean McVay most likely knows everything his protege Kevin O'Connell is going to cook up on offense, the Vikings continued struggles at slot corner opens the door for Puka Nacua to go absolutely wild and despite his recent stretch of poor play, I still trust Matthew Stafford way more than Sam Darnold in a game like this-especially after Darnold's horrendous performance against the Lions last week. 

2024 in Movies: A Year in Review

Over the last few weeks as year-end best lists and nominations for various awards shows have trickled out, I've seen a lot of takes lamenting how 2024 was a poor or mediocre year for movies. To quote the great Howard Ratner, "I disagree". Was it one of the greatest years in recent memory? No. The production disruptions from 2023's strikes made that a near impossibility before the year even started. There's just no fucking way that I can sit here with a straight face and say that a year that produced stuff like Anora, Challengers and The Substance was underwhelming. On top of those films that all appeared in my top 5, the B+ or 8/10 tier of movies for me was in line with the previous couple years and that volume of doubles and triples made up for the smaller number of home runs. Maybe I'm too high on the artform as a whole to be overly critical of it or have just reached a point where I'm not going to dump all over an entire slate of films on the grounds of it not having enough A-level movies for my liking, but that's just how I feel damn it!   

Below, you'll find a list of every movie I saw in 2024 ranked from worst to best (with grades) along with a lengthy list of awards and superlatives that cover everything from the best performances to the biggest surprises/letdowns to the 10 movies I'm most excited to (hopefully) see in 2025. Hope you enjoy.  

Still Need to See:

The 4:30 Movie 

Absolution

AGGRO DR1FT

All We Imagine as Light 

Arcadian

Azrael

Better Man

Between the Temples

The Bricklayer 

The Brutalist

Canary Black

Dandelion

Daughters

Don't Move

Elevation

Exhibiting Forgiveness

Ezra

A Family Affair 

Flow

Get Away

Ghostlight

Girl You Know It's True

Goodrich

The Greatest Hits 

The Gutter 

Hard Truths

Hate to Love: Nickelback

Hellboy: The Crooked Man

Here

I'm Still Here

Incoming

In the Summers

Janet Planet

The Last Stop in Yuma County 

Late Bloomers

Lee

Life After Fighting

The Line 

The Listener 

Los Frikis

MadS

Magpie 

Maria

Mayhem!

Memoir of a Snail

Mothers' Instinct

MoviePass, MovieCrash

My Spy: The Eternal City

National Anthem

Nightbitch

Nickel Boys

Oddity

Omni Loop

One Life

The Order

Parachute

The People's Joker 

Piece by Piece

Poolman

Red Right Hand

Red Rooms

The Remarkable Life of Ibelin 

The Room Next Door

Salem's Lot

Sasquatch Sunset

Scrambled

The Seed of the Sacred Fig 

The Silent Hour 

Sing Sing

Sleep

Small Things Like These

Spaceman

Stress Positions

Subservience

Sugarcane 

Suncoast

Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

Sweethearts

Trigger Warning

Tuesday

Turtles All the Way Down

Unstoppable

Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl

Weekend in Taipei

Winner

Young Woman and the Sea

135.Bob Marley: One Love (D)

134.Miller's Girl (D)

133.Atlas (D)

132.Night Swim (D+)

131.Rebel Moon: Part Two-The Scargiver (D+)

130.Borderlands (D+)

129.Brothers (D+)

128.Caddo Lake (D+)

127.Players (C-)

126.Sleeping Dogs (C-)

125.Emilia Perez (C-)

124.Madame Web (C-)

123.Back to Black (C)

122.Lift (C)

121.The Book of Clarence (C)

120.Slingshot (C)

119.Megalopolis (C)

118.Nutcrackers (C)

117.The Watchers (C)

116.Red One (C)

115.Unfrosted (C)

114.Tarot (C)

113.Killer Heat (C)

112.Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (C)

111.Queer (C)

110.It's What's Inside (C)

109.Trap (C)

108.Werewolves (C+)

107.Transformers One (C+)

106.Cuckoo (C+)

105.Lisa Frankenstein (C+)

104.Arthur the King (B-)

103.Boy Kills World (B-)

102.The Strangers: Chapter 1 (B-)

101.Mean Girls (B-)

100.I.S.S. (B-)

99.Kung Fu Panda 4 (B-)

98.The Union (B-)

97.Fly Me to the Moon (B-)

96.Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (B-)

95.Am I OK? (B-)

94.Kraven the Hunter (B-)

93.The Underdoggs (B-)

92.It Ends with Us (B-)

91.Jackpot! (B-)

90.The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (B-)

89.Rez Ball (B-)

88.The Crow (B-)

87.Alien: Romulus (B-)

86.The American Society of Magical Negroes (B-)

85.Knox Goes Away (B-)

84.Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (B-)

83.The Outrun (B-)

82.Late Night with the Devil (B-)

81.The Bikeriders (B-)

80.Your Monster (B-)

79.The Front Room (B-)

78.Hundreds of Beavers (B-)

77.Deadpool & Wolverine (B-)

76.Immaculate (B-)

75.Land of Bad (B)

74.Self Reliance (B)

73.The Killer's Game (B)

72.Housekeeping for Beginners (B)

71.The Idea of You (B)

70.Road House (B)

69.Kill (B)

68.The Fire Inside (B)

67.Ricky Stanicky (B)

66.Touch (B)

65.My Old Ass (B)

64.Wicked Little Letters (B)

63.Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (B)

62.Femme (B)

61.Gladiator II (B)

60.Argylle (B)

59.Y2K (B)

58.Wicked (B)

57.Problemista (B)

56.Conclave (B)

55.We Live in Time (B)

54.Never Let Go (B)

53.Venom: The Last Dance (B)

52.The Piano Lesson (B)

51.Will & Harper (B)

50.Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (B)

49.Babygirl (B)

48.The Beekeeper (B)

47.Thelma (B)

46.Longlegs (B)

45.Inside Out 2 (B)

44.Speak No Evil (B)

43.The First Omen (B)

42.The Killer (B)

41.MaXXXine (B)

40.Heretic (B)

39.Love Lies Bleeding (B)

38.The Shadow Strays (B)

37.Kneecap (B)

36.Twisters (B)

35.Drive-Away Dolls (B)

34.Juror #2 (B)

33.Dune: Part Two (B)

32.IF (B+)

31.Hit Man (B+)

30.Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (B+)

29.A Quiet Place: Day One (B+)

28.A Complete Unknown (B+)

27.Carry-On (B+)

26.Strange Darling (B+)

25.I Used to Be Funny (B+)

24.Nosferatu (B+)

23.Daddio (B+)

22.Blink Twice (B+)

21.A Different Man (B+)

20.Kinds of Kindness (B+)

19.Snack Shack (B+)

18.Bad Boys: Ride or Die (B+)

17.Babes (B+)

16.Woman of the Hour (B+)

15.Saturday Night (B+)

14.A Real Pain (B+)

13.Smile 2 (B+)

12.His Three Daughters (B+)

11.The Wild Robot (B+)

10.I Saw the TV Glow (B+)

9.Monkey Man (B+)

8.Civil War (B+)

7.Abigail (B+)

6.Rebel Ridge (B+)

5.The Substance (A-)

4.Didi (A-)

3.The Fall Guy (A)

2.Challengers (A)

1.Anora (A)

Awards/Superlatives:

Best Picture: Anora

Best Director: Sean Baker, Anora

Best Actor: Sebastian Stan, A Different Man

Best Actress: Mikey Madison, Anora

Best Supporting Actor: Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain

Best Supporting Actress: Ariana Grande, Wicked

Best Original Screenplay: Sean Baker, Anora

Best Adapted Screenplay: Chris Sanders, The Wild Robot

Best Cinematography: Jarin Blaschke, Nosferatu

Best Editing: Marco Costa, Challengers

Best Score: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Challengers

Best Original Song: "Ain't No Love in Oklahoma" by Luke Combs, Twisters

Best Visual Effects: Dune: Part Two

Best Sound: Dune: Part Two

Best Directorial Debut: Sean Wang, Didi

Best Animated Feature: The Wild Robot

Best Documentary Feature: Will & Harper

Best International Feature: Kneecap

Best Villain: Rodney Alcala (Daniel Zovatto), Woman of the Hour

Worst Villain: Ezkiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), Madame Web

Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Aubrey Plaza, Megalopolis 

Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Paul Mescal, Gladiator II

Best Piece of Overacting: Dennis Quaid, The Substance

Worst Piece of Overacting: Brett Gelman, Boy Kills World

The 7th Annual "Carry a Movie on Your Back" Award Presented by Greg Jennings: John Cena, Ricky Stanicky 

Best Action Sequence: "Alligator Park Showdown", Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Worst Action Sequence: "Bus Fight", Deadpool & Wolverine

Best Blockbuster: The Fall Guy

Worst Blockbuster: Atlas

Finest Hidden Indie Gem: Didi

Most Insufferable Indie Trash: Miller's Girl

Best Theater Experience (Presentation): Dune: Part Two

Worst Theater Experience (Presentation): Immaculate 

Best Theater Experience (Crowd): Venom: The Last Dance

Worst Theater Experience (Crowd): Inside Out 2

Sickest Double Feature That I Did: The Fall Guy/Abigail

Saddest Double Feature That I Did: Madame Web/Bob Marley: One Love

Greatest Reminder of the Power of Movie Stars and Practical Stunts: The Fall Guy

Top Movies Where Fred Durst Kind of Just Shows Up for a Bit: I Saw the TV Glow and Y2K  

Best Use of Dan Stevens as King Kong's Dentist: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Possibly The Hardest I've Ever Laughed at Anything That No One Else in the Theater Found to be Even Remotely Funny: About 15-20 different moments in Kinds of Kindness

Screening Where I Witnessed the Highest Volume of Old People Getting Their Ass Kicked by the Reserved Seating System at an AMC: A Complete Unknown  

Most Underrated Movies:

1.Abigail

2.Woman of the Hour

3.Babes

4.Snack Shack

5.Daddio

Most Overrated Movies:

1.Emilia Perez

2.Transformers One

3.Deadpool & Wolverine

4.Alien: Romulus

5.Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Biggest Surprises:

1.IF

2.The Killer

3.The First Omen

4.Longlegs

5.Never Let Go

Biggest Letdowns:

1.Kill 

2.The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

3.The Bikeriders

4.Gladiator II 

5.Hundreds of Beavers

Top Performances:

1.Mikey Madison, Anora

2.Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain

3.Lily Rose-Depp, Nosferatu

4.Zendaya, Challengers

5.Demi Moore, The Substance

6.Sebastian Stan, A Different Man

7.Naomi Scott, Smile 2

8.Yura Borisov, Anora

9.Timothee Chalamet, A Complete Unknown

10.Nicole Kidman, Babygirl

Top Breakthrough Performances:

1.Daniel Zovatto, Woman of the Hour

2.Aaron Pierre, Rebel Ridge

3.Katy O'Brian, Love Lies Bleeding

4.Izaac Wang, Didi

5.Nell Tiger Free, The First Omen

6.Mark Eydelshteyn, Anora

7.Maisy Stella, My Old Ass

8.Ryan Destiny, The Fire Inside

9.Avantika, Mean Girls

10.Percy Daggs IV, Never Let Go

Great Under-the-Radar Performance That I Didn't List Above:

1.Adam Pearson, A Different Man

2.Corey Michael Smith, Saturday Night

3.Cailee Spaeny, Civil War

4.Dan Stevens, Abigail

5.Justice Smith, I Saw the TV Glow

6.Nicholas Hoult, Juror #2

7.Anne Hathaway, The Idea of You

8,Sydney Sweeney, Immaculate 

9.Halle Berry, Never Let Go

10.Melissa Barrera, Your Monster

Top Acting Ensembles:

1.Challengers

2.Anora

3.A Complete Unknown

4.The Substance

5.His Three Daughters

6.Nosferatu

7.Saturday Night

8.Abigail

9.Civil War

10.Kinds of Kindness

Top Directorial Debuts:

1.Sean Wang, Didi

2.Dev Patel, Monkey Man

3.Anna Kendrick, Woman of the Hour

4.Pamela Adlon, Babes

5.Zoe Kravitz, Blink Twice

6.Christy Hall, Daddio

7.Arkasha Stevenson, The First Omen

8.Malcolm Washington, The Piano Lesson

9.Kelly Marcel, Venom: The Last Dance

10.Julio Torres, Problemista

Top Cinematography: 

1.Jarin Blaschke, Nosferatu

2.Eric K. Yue, I Saw the TV Glow

3.Stephane Fontaine, Conclave

4.Greig Fraser, Dune: Part Two

5.Giovani Ribisi, Strange Darling

6.Saymbhu Mukdeeprom, Challengers

7.Aaron Morton, The First Omen

8.Drew Daniels, Anora

9.Kevin Fletcher, It's What's Inside

10.Zach Kuperstein, Woman of the Hour

Top Scores:

1.Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Challengers

2.Michael Giacchino, IF

3.Jon Batiste, Saturday Night

4.Robin Carolan, Nosferatu

5.Cristobal Tapia de Veer, Babygirl

6.Raffertie, The Substance

7.Hans Zimmer, Dune: Part Two

8.Kris Bowers, The Wild Robot

9.Chanda Dancy, Blink Twice

10.Simon Waskow, Cuckoo

Top Movies I Hope to See in 2025:

1.Friendship

2.28 Years Later

3.Sinners

4.Superman

5.Marty Supreme

6.The Running Man

7.Ballerina

8.The Naked Gun

9.Bugonia

10.Nobody 2 

Top 10 Movies of 2024

Honorable Mentions (in alphabetical order):

His Three Daughters

A Real Pain

Saturday Night

Smile 2

The Wild Robot

10.I Saw the TV Glow:

I've never seen a movie provide a clearer window into what it feels like to battle gender dysphoria and the agonizing struggle of someone deciding to embrace their true identity or remain in the closet at the expense of their mental health than I Saw the TV Glow. Pairing haunting imagery with a slowly escalating feeling of suffocating isolation to capture how a reclusive young man's (Justice Smith) life changes forever when his only friend disappears (Brigette Lundy-Paine) following the cancelation of their shared favorite TV show The Pink Opaque, writer/director Jane Schoenbrun is able to cast a hypnotic surrealist spell that captures the struggle of how electing to not live your life as your true self will eat away at you until there's nothing left but a hollow shell in heartbreakingly vivid fashion.         

9.Monkey Man:

Freed from the clutches of Netflix after sitting on the shelf for nearly 3 years, Dev Patel's directorial debut exploded onto the big screen back in April thanks to Jordan Peele's company Monkeypaw and their distribution partners at Universal. While Monkey Man's political subtext about India's caste system isn't fully coherent, Patel's tremendous dedication to his role as Kid-a jobber working at an underground fight club who is angling to kill the powerful men (Makarand Deshpande, Skiandar Kher) responsible for massacring his village-including his mother-as a child and the bone-crunching, visceral fight sequences he put together are more than enough to make it a top-notch revenge action thriller nonetheless.    

8.Civil War:

Civil War works as well as it does because Alex Garland forces the viewer to draw their own conclusions as to why the events of the film are happening and what they say about the people of the United States. Making an ambiguous war movie set in the present day is a ballsy move, especially in the current political climate where we're seemingly always on the precipice of grand-scale violence, but the lack of a defined agenda allows Garland to shift his focus to something that we don't see depicted too often in this genre: the human element underneath all the carnage. At its core, it's really a movie about what living in an active warzone does to people and the answers the film provides are occasionally reassuring but mostly really fucking terrifying. It's an illuminating, thought-provoking and disturbing depiction of the type of immense destruction that mankind is capable of inflicting on one another that I'll continue to wrestle with for quite some time.          

7.Abigail:

Radio Silence's first post-Scream project adds another winner to their increasingly impressive filmography. The ensemble cast (Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Alisha Weir, Kathryn Newton, Kevin Durand, Will Catlett, Giancarlo Esposito, the late Angus Cloud in the final role of his career) is phenomenal, the gore/kills are nuts and the whole "unsuspecting band of crooks locked in a mansion with a vampire that looks like a 12-year-old human girl" plot conceit leads to a great, organic balance of horror and comedy elements.    

6.Rebel Ridge:

After stumbling a tad with the endearing but uneven mystery/folk horror project Hold the Dark, Rebel Ridge marks a gritty, thrilling return to Jeremy Saulnier's top form. The modernized take on the classic western narrative of a mysterious, well-intentioned outsider (Aaron Pierre-who oozes charisma and quiet empathy in a breakout performance) taking on the dirtbag local cops (Emory Cohen, David Denman and Don Johnson) after they wrong him is the perfect vessel for Saulnier to explore the deep systematic rot of small-town legal systems while also delivering a string of awesome confrontations full of snappy dialogue and pulse-pounding suspense. Having the hero be an imposing retired Marine that specializes in de-escalation through hand-to-hand close quarters combat is also a nice touch that births some really clever, subversive writing.     

5.The Substance:

What better way to take a blowtorch to unrealistic female beauty standards and women's internalized fears over aging than making a body horror movie in which you satirize them in the most overtly disgusting way possible? The Substance is a gory, hilarious triumph driven by a trio of incredible performances (Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, Dennis Quaid) that are completely in-tune with the movie's sad/silly/angry tonal balancing act and writer/director Coralie Fargeat's refreshingly audacious, uncompromising vision. It also absolutely rules that a hardcore genre movie has a strong chance of landing a Best Picture nomination at the Oscars.  

4.Didi:

Didi is one of those coming-of-age movies that comes along every few years or so that just hit me like a fucking truck since I recognized so many of the situations the main character found himself in as I was around the same age in the year in which the film takes place (the summer of 2008). Writer/director Sean Wang does a great job of applying the wisdom that adulthood provides to the proceedings by highlighting just how necessary these awkward moments, stupid lies that blow up in your face and little acts of rebellion towards your parents are to figuring out the person you truly are once the chaos of being a directionless shithead teenager subsides. Please seek out this underseen, poignant gem of a movie ASAP.    

3.The Fall Guy:

Movie stars! Real stunts! Romance! The Fall Guy is the kind of lovingly crafted, immensely fun grand-scale blockbuster that Hollywood just doesn't have much interest in making these days. Kudos to David Leitch, Drew Pearce and the primary cast (Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Hannah Waddingham, Winston Duke, Stephanie Hsu, Teresa Palmer) for taking full advantage of the rare opportunity that was afforded to them.        

2.Challengers:

Getting to see Luca Guadagnino put his feet up and just have a blast after so many years of making gloomy, tragic romances was one of the biggest treats of the year. With the help of a smart script from Justin Kuritzkes, an absurdly hard electro-industrial score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross and a trio of powerhouse actors (Zendaya, Josh O'Connor, Mike Faist) that the sell the shit of their roles as three manipulative egomaniacal tennis players that find themselves caught in a love triangle that spans 10+ years, the Italian auteur makes a really stylish, accessible romantic sports drama about how the obsessive drive athletes have to win by any means necessary poisons every area of their life. Who knows when we'll see get to see this loose side of Guadagnino again, but hopefully it's sooner than later because he's really damn good at it.     

1.Anora:

Throwing around the "M" word willy nilly is not something I'm about, so just know that I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that Anora is a masterpiece. Mikey Madison shines as a Brooklyn stripper who develops a whirlwind fairy tale romance with the immature, hard-partying son of a Russian oligarch (Mark Eydelshteyn) that suddenly gets sent into disarray once word of the couple's impromptu nuptials during a raging weekend in Vegas reaches his powerful parents in Moscow. Sean Baker's excellent script does a terrific job of exploring class, the dehumanization of sex workers that's built into our society and the harsh truth of who gets left paying the price when shit hits the fan. The tonal balancing act on display as Baker weaves together romantic comedy, chaos and tragedy elements is masterful and the final moments are a blinding gut punch that the film brilliantly forces you to sit with as the credits roll. I'd vote for it for Best Picture 10,000 times if I could.   

2024 in Music: A Year in Review

If nothing else, at least 2024's musical year made slightly more sense than 2023. Some great veteran artists returned to their roots and put out their best material in years (Jack White, Judas Priest, St. Vincent). The world embraced then quickly got infuriated by the birth of new pop icons (Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter). A certain pop superstar went into autopilot mode and still put up insane numbers on the charts. Katy Perry's efforts to mount a comeback failed in spectacular fashion. Kendrick Lamar ruined someone's career and fell back in love with making aggressive bangers. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard found yet another new musical avenue to travel down. Glass Animals strengthened the odds that How to Be a Human Being was a fluke by releasing another collection of lukewarm tracks designed to be half listened to in the frozen food section of your local grocery store. Metalcore's continued resurgence led to my top 20 albums once again being populated by releases from that genre.  

Below, you'll find a list of every 2024 EP and LP I heard ranked from worst to best (w/grades) along with a collection of superlatives and my picks for the year's top 50 songs. Hope you enjoy.

EP's:

8.Corpse Pile-Hardgore Deathmetal (B-)

7.Big Ass Truck-Big Ass Demo (B)

6.Frontierer-The Skull Burned Wearing Hell Like a Life Vest as the Night Wept (B)

5.Disembodied Tyrant-The Tower: Part One (B)

4.Tove Lo and SG Lewis-Heat (B)

3.Unearth-Bask in the Blood of Our Demons (B+)

2.Counterparts-Heaven Let Them Die (B+)

1.Greyhaven-Stereo Grief (B+)

LP's:

103.Taylor Swift-The Tortured Poets Department (D+)

102.Maya Hawke-Chaos Angel (C-)

101.Ice Spice-Y2K! (C)

100.Glass Animals-I Love You So F***ing Much (C)

99.The Ghost Inside-Searching for Solace (C)

98.Alkaline Trio-Blood, Hair, and Eyeballs (C)

97.Left to Suffer-Leap of Death (C)

96.GloRilla-Glorious (C)

95.Normani-Dopamine (C)

94.Sum 41-Heaven :x: Hell (C)

93.Clairo-Charm (C)

92.21 Savage-american dream (C+)

91.Don Toliver-Hardstone Psycho (C+)

90.Gatecreeper-Dark Superstition (C+)

89.Vomit Forth-Terrified of God (C+)

88.Melt-Banana-3+5 (C+)

87.Tinashe-Quantum Baby (C+)

86.Megan Thee Stallion-Megan (B-)

85.Neck Deep-Neck Deep (B-)

84.Linkin Park-From Zero (B-)

83.Make Them Suffer-Make Them Suffer (B-)

82.Body Count-Merciless (B-)

81.Michael Kiwanuka-Small Changes (B-)

80.Kacey Musgraves-Deeper Well (B-)

79.IDLES-TANGK (B-)

78.While She Sleeps-Self Hell (B-)

77.Party Cannon-Injuries Are Inevitable (B-)

76.Johnny Blue Skies (Sturgill Simpson)-Passage du desir (B-)

75.Mk.gee-Two Star & the Dream Police (B-)

74.Four Year Strong-Analysis Paralysis (B-)

73.Beyonce-Cowboy Carter (B-)

72.Zach Bryan-The Great American Bar Scene (B-)

71.Speed-Only One Mode (B-)

70.Wage War-STIGMA (B-)

69.Ariana Grande-Eternal Sunshine (B-)

68.Future-Mixtape Pluto (B-)

67.Spectral Wound-Songs of Blood and Mire (B-)

66.Chat Pile-Cool World (B-)

65.Maggie Rogers-Don't Forget Me (B-)

64.Childish Gambino-Bando Stone and the New World (B-)

63.Halsey-The Great Impersonator (B-)

62.Darkest Hour-Perpetual|Terminal (B)

61.Defeated Sanity-Chronicles of Lunacy (B)

60.Vampire Weekend-Only God Was Above Us (B)

59.Future and Metro Boomin-WE DON'T TRUST YOU (B)

58.Dealer-New Order of Mind (B)

57.Tommy Richman-Coyote (B)

56.Touche Amore-Spiral in a Straight Line (B)

55.Fleshgod Apocalypse-Opera (B)

54.Magdalena Bay-Imaginal Disk (B)

53.Underneath-From the Gut of Gaia (B)

52.Action Bronson-Johan Sebastian Bachlava the Doctor (B)

51.Anciients-Beyond the Reach of the Sun (B)

50.Intervals-Memory Palace (B)

49.Chelsea Wolfe-She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She (B)

48.Vale of Pnath-Between the Worlds of Life and Death (B)

47.The Smile-Cutouts (B)

46.Fit for an Autopsy-The Nothing That Is (B)

45.Many Eyes-The Light Age (B)

44.The Story So Far-I Want to Disappear (B)

43.Foreign Hands-What's Left Unsaid (B)

42.Kali Uchis-Orquideas (B)

41.Kublai Khan TX-Exhibition of Forgiveness (B)

40.Sabrina Carpenter-Short n'Sweet (B)

39.SZA-Lana (B)

38.Bring Me the Horizon-Post Human: NeX Gen (B)

37.NxWorries-Why Lawd? (B)

36.Dark Tranquility-Endtime Signals (B)

35.BRAT-Social Grace (B)

34.Candy-It's Inside You (B)

33.The Smile-Wall of Eyes (B)

32.Wristmeetrazor-Degeneration (B)

31.Dissimulator-Lower Form Resistance (B)

30.PeelingFlesh-The G Code (B)

29.Nile-The Underworld Awaits Us All (B)

28.Dua Lipa-Radical Optimism (B)

27.Tyler, the Creator-CHROMAKOPIA (B)

26.Alpha Wolf-Half Living Things (B)

25.Vince Staples-Dark Times (B)

24.Billie Eilish-HIT ME HARD AND SOFT (B)

23.ScHoolboy Q-Blue Lips (B)

22.JPEGMAFIA-I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU (B)

21.Poppy-Negative Spaces (B)

20.High on Fire-Cometh the Storm (B+)

19.Boundaries-Death is Little More (B+)

18.Within the Ruins-Phenomena II (B+)

17.Blood Incantation-Absolute Elsewhere (B+)

16.Jack White-No Name (B+)

15.The Black Dahlia Murder-Servitude (B+)

14.Denzel Curry-King of the Mischievous South Vol.2 (B+)

13.Judas Priest-Invincible Shield (B+)

12.Kendrick Lamar-GNX (B+)

11.Remi Wolf-Big Ideas (B+)

10.Ripped to Shreds-Sanshi (B+)

9.Undeath-More Insane (B+)

8.Charli XCX-Brat (B+)

7.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-Coup de Grace (B+)

6.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Flight b741 (B+)

5.Job for a Cowboy-Moon Healer (B+)

4.200 Stab Wounds-Manual Manic Procedures (B+)

3.St.Vincent-All Born Screaming (A-)

2.Better Lovers-Highly Irresponsible (A)

1.Knocked Loose-You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To (A)

Awards/Superlatives:

Biggest Surprises:

1.Charli XCX-Brat

2.Poppy-Negative Spaces

3.Judas Priest-Invincible Shield

4.Undeath-More Insane

5.ScHoolboy Q-Blue Lips

Biggest Letdowns:

1.IDLES-TANGK

2.While She Sleeps-Self Hell

3.Ariana Grande-Eternal Sunshine

4.Halsey-The Great Impersonator 

5.21 Savage-american dream

Most Underrated:

1.SeeYouSpaceCowboy-Coup de Grace

2.Ripped to Shreds-Sanshi

3.Remi Wolf-Big Ideas

4.Alpha Wolf-Half Living Things

5.ScHoolboy Q-Blue Lips

Most Overrated:

1.Zach Bryan-The Great American Bar Scene 

2.Johhny Blue Skies-Passage du desir

3.Beyonce-Cowboy Carter

4.Chat Pile-Cool World

5.Defeated Sanity-Chronicles of Lunacy

Top Artists I Hope Drop an Albums in 2025 (Excluding Albums with Confirmed 2025 Release Dates):

1.Vein.fm

2.Deftones

3.Lorna Shore

4.Bad Omens

5.Emmure

Top 50 Songs (in Alphabetical Order by Artist):

200 Stab Wounds-Flesh from Within

200 Stab Wounds-Manic Manual Procedures

Alpha Wolf-Bring Back the Noise

Better Lovers-Drowning in a Burning World

Better Lovers-Future Myopia

Born of Osiris-Elevate

Boundaries-Scars on a Soul

Bring Me the Horizon-Kool-Aid

Chappell Roan-Good Luck, Babe!

Charli XCX-Sympathy is a Knife

Coheed and Cambria-Searching for Tomorrow

Denzel Curry-ULTRA SHXT (feat. Key Nyata)

Dua Lipa-Illusion

FKA twigs-Eusexua

Halsey-Lonely is the Muse

Jack White-Bombing Out

Job for a Cowboy-Into the Crystaline Crypts

Job for a Cowboy-The Sun Gave Me Ashes So I Sought Out the Moon

JPEGMAFIA-Sin Miedo

Judas Priest-Invincible Shield

Kacey Musgraves-Jade Green

Kendrick Lamar-Squabble Up

Kendrick Lamar-TV OFF (feat. Lefty Gunplay)

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Field of Vision

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Le Risque

Knocked Loose-Blinding Faith

Knocked Loose-Piece by Piece

Knocked Loose-Suffocate (feat. Poppy)

Kublai Khan TX-Darwinism

Luke Combs-Ain't No Love in Oklahoma

PEELINGFLESH-Shoot 2 Kill

Poppy-Negative Spaces

Poppy-Push Go

Remi Wolf-Cherries & Cream

Remi Wolf-Toro

Remi Wolf-Wave

Ripped to Shreds-Cultivating towards Ascension 

Sabrina Carpenter-Taste

SeeYouSpaceCowboy-And the Two Slipped Into the Shadows

SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-Subtle Whispers to Take Your Breath Away

Spiritbox-Soft Spine

St. Vincent-Broken Man

St.Vincent-Sweetest Fruit

SZA-Saturn

The Black Dahlia Murder-Panic Hysteric

The Weeknd-Dancing in the Flames

Tommy Richman-Million Dollar Baby

Tove Lo-Let Me go OH OH

Undeath-Disputatious Malignancy

Undeath-More Insane

Top 10 Albums of 2024

Honorable Mentions (in alphabetical order by artist):

The Black Dahlia Murder-Servitude 

Denzel Curry-King of the Mischievous South Vol.2

Judas Priest-Invincible Shield

Kendrick Lamar-GNX

Remi Wolf-Big Ideas

10.Ripped to Shreds-Sanshi:

Buried deep on the roster of Relapse Records, San Jose-bred Ripped to Shreds is my personal choice for the unfortunate title of Most Exciting Upstart Extreme Metal Band That Basically No One Has Heard Of. They deftly combine a variety of styles (traditional death metal, melodeath, deathgrind) to create a blistering yet consistently unpredictable sound, Brian Do's frantic drumming hits like a fucking artillery attack and vocalist/guitarist Andrew Lee is doing some crazy David Davidson-esque shit with the way he's laying down blistering leads and an array of vile screams on every single track. If this sounds even remotely appealing to you, please go check out Sanshi ASAP. 

Top Tracks: 1.Cultivating towards Ascension 2.Feast of the Deceased 3.Force Fed

9.Undeath-More Insane:

Undeath's previous record It's Time... to Rise from the Grave took their old school death metal revival act a bit too far as it had production that was so muddy that it bypassed charming throwback and entered straight into "did they record this is in a sealed bank vault?" territory. Tweaking their sound to something cleaner and catchier on their 3rd LP More Insane proved to be a major win. Embracing something that more closely resembles an homage to Cannibal Corpse than the early Death and Obituary records they were drawing inspiration from previously really elevated their energy level and the volume of killer riffs/breakdowns they pack into these 10 tracks is frankly absurd. Hopefully this style isn't a just pit stop for them because More Insane sounds like a band that has finally found its identity after years of searching for it.     

Top Tracks: 1.Disupatious Malignancy 2.More Insane 3.Cramped Caskets (Necrology)

8.Charli XCX-Brat:

Sometimes humility is overrated. For damn near a decade, Charli XCX has been steadily operating on the outskirts of mainstream pop music while getting overshadowed and leapfrogged by a bunch of similar artists that were less seasoned than her. Brat is her way of seizing the stardom that has long alluded her and letting the whole world know that she no longer accepts being treated as anything less than one of the genre's most important artists. Her charmingly overt brashness is perfectly paired with the thumping electronic dance production from her longtime collaborator A.G. Cook and the streak of vulnerability she deploys on tracks like "Sympathy is a Knife", "Girl, So Confusing" and "Talk Talk" adds a surprising layer of raw honesty to this raucous collection of party anthems.     

Top Tracks: 1.Sympathy Is a Knife 2.365 3.Von Dutch

7.SeeyouSpaceCowboy...-Coup de Grace:

There's a certain degree of pain that comes with watching SeeYouSpaceCowboy... further distance themselves from the mathcore sound they had when they first gained national attention in the late 2010's. The good news is that sacrifice led to the creation of something that's also great as their further embrace of the post-hardcore/emo-pop sensibilities they introduced on 2021's The Romance of Affliction resulted in their best album to date in Coup de Grace. Make no mistake, there's still a lot of heavy shit present on Coup de Grace as the breakdowns and Connie Sgarbossa's screams remain as vicious as ever, they're just wonderfully juxtaposed with a lot of bouncy melodic riffing and huge sung hooks from guitarist Ethan Sgarbossa. Missing out on seeing these fun-ass songs live on their headlining tour last summer will haunt me for some time.     

Top Tracks: 1.Subtle Whispers to Take Your Breath Away 2.And the Two Slipped into the Shadows 3.Rhythm and Rapture (feat. Nothing, Nowhere)

6.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Flightb741

Flightb741 answers a question I previously never would've thought to ask: What would a ZZ Top record sound like if it was made by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard? These delightful Australian weirdos are having the time of their life laying down goofy, bluesy grooves and the kind of playful, southern fried-rock hooks that the world hasn't heard since The Dukes of Hazzard went off the air 40 years ago. The day they decide to explore this sound again 3-5 years down the line is going to be a great one.        

Top Tracks: 1.Le Risque 2.Field of Vision 3.Sad Pilot

5.Job for a Cowboy-Moon Healer 

The long-developing Job for a Cowboy comeback album proved to be well worth the 9+ year wait. Moon Healer marks a natural extension of their prior record Sun Eater as it takes an atmospheric approach to progressive death metal that takes great pride in establishing an unbreakable layer of lingering evil and dread. While it suffers a bit from lacking the show-stopping fireworks that filled Sun Eater, the more methodical songwriting that allows more space for the gloomy textures of the compositions to really flourish ultimately makes it a similarly rewarding listen.   

Top Tracks: 1.The Sun Brought Me Ashes So I Sought Out the Moon 2.Into the Crystaline Crypts 3.Beyond the Chemical Doorway

4.200 Stab Wounds-Manual Manic Procedures:

Are 200 Stab Wounds still too new to the game to be dubbed death metal royalty? Without question. However, their sophomore LP Manual Manic Procedures has them hurdling towards earning such a prestigious distinction at an impressive speed. The Cleveland-bred outfit cranks up the dynamism of their gritty old school sound by adding ambient synths, acoustic guitars and even the occasional prog (!) tinge to the mix without sacrificing the emphasis on punchy, riff-driven brutality that has allowed them to stand out among a sea of acts that harken back to the genre's gory glory days of the late 80's/early 90's.     

Top Tracks: 1. Manual Manic Procedures 2.Flesh from Within 3.Release the Stench

3.St. Vincent-All Born Screaming:

Nobody knows what the hell is going to come flowing out of the relentlessly experimental brain of Annie Clark when she sits down to make a new St. Vincent record. On her seventh LP, All Born Screaming she cooked up what just might be her most satisfying release to date. All Born Screaming is really just a glorious case of many of the most interesting sides of St. Vincent (industrial rock, neo-psychedelia, synthpop, alt-rock) converging into one anxious, somber beast of a record that delivers home run after home run over its perfectly conceived 41-minute runtime.  

Top Tracks: 1.Broken Man 2.Sweetest Fruit 3.Hell is Near

2.Better Lovers-Highly Irresponsible:

Better Lovers is no longer just the band that brought together ex-Dillinger Escape Plan vocalist Greg Puciato, comically employed guitarist/producer Will Putney and 3/5 of Every Time I Die's final lineup. They're now their own standalone force delivering metalcore that has bite, soul and enough electricity flowing through their veins to power an entire fucking continent. Obliterating the novelty that comes with the dreaded "supergroup" tag so soon after their formation is an incredible feat and a testament to how well these guys work together. May they continue to deify the cliches that tend to plague bands that were birthed in similar manners for years to come.     

Top Tracks: 1.Drowning in a Burning World 2.Future Myopia 3.Everything Was Put Here for Me 

1.Knocked Loose-You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To:

Since their inception, Knocked Loose has been making exceptionally heavy music. Even with this established track record of heaviness, what they conjured up on their third LP You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To is astonishing to hear. This isn't run-of-the mill extreme metal anger, it's a concentrated attack of feral, uncompromising rage that has been boiling underneath the surface for years just waiting to be unleashed on the world in its full incendiary glory. Packaging so much intensity into just 10 tracks that run for approximately 27 minutes elevates the efficiency of this auditory onslaught to downright devastating levels. I'd like to thank the people who attended and preached at the Northern Kentucky churches the members of Knocked Loose attended growing up for helping put something so beautifully aggressive into the world.  The overwhelming disdain for organized religion and the people that use God as a tool to justify their hate-fueled worldview that fuels this record likely wouldn't exist if they hadn't spent so much time around people like you. Everyone who prays at the altar of Knocked Loose will be forever thankful for what you blessed them with.              

 Top Tracks: 1.Blinding Faith 2.Piece by Piece 3.Suffocate (feat. Poppy)