Friday, May 29, 2026

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Guards

()=2025 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

30.(+) Austin Corbett (Bills)

29.(13) Teven Jenkins (Browns)

28.(12) Alijah Vera-Tucker (Patriots)

27.(10) Robert Hunt (Panthers)

26.(27) Ezra Cleveland (Jaguars)

25.(+) Tate Ratledge (Lions)

24.(+) Tyler Steen (Eagles)

23.(+) Mason McCormick (Steelers)

22.(+) Tyler Booker (Cowboys)

21.(28) Matthew Bergeron (Falcons)

20.(+) Dalton Risner (Bengals)

19.(3) Kevin Zeitler (Free Agent)

18.(+) Ed Ingram (Texans)

17.(+) David Edwards (Saints)

16.(11) Dominick Puni (49ers)

15.(26) Jonah Jackson (Bears)

14.(8) Landon Dickerson (Eagles)

13.(+) Steve Avila (Rams)

12.(9) Tyler Smith (Cowboys)

11.(18) Damien Lewis (Panthers)

10.(+) Peter Skoronski (Titans)

9.(16) Sam Cosmi (Commanders)

8.(7) Trey Smith (Chiefs)

7.(14) Isaac Seumalo (Cardinals)

6.(17) Mike Onwenu (Patriots)

5.(6) Kevin Dotson (Rams)

4.(4) Joe Thuney (Bears)

3.(2) Quenton Nelson (Colts)

2.(5) Quinn Meinerz (Broncos)

1.(1) Chris Lindstrom (Falcons)


Thursday, May 28, 2026

Kumail Nanjiani Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Kumail Nanjiani-whose latest project "The Breadwinner" releases in theaters today. 

Kumail Nanjiani's Filmography Ranked:

16.Ella McCay (C-)

15.Sex Tape (C)

14.Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (C)

13.Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (C)

12.Fist Fight (C)

11.Driver's Ed (C)

10.Migration (C+)

9.Men in Black: International (B-)

8.The Lego Ninjago Movie (B-)

7.Goosebumps (B-)

6.The Lovebirds (B)

5.Stuber (B)

4.The Kings of Summer (B+)

3.Eternals (B+)

2.Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (B+)

1.The Big Sick (B+)

Top Dog: The Big Sick (2017)

What has made Nanjiani's film career such a letdown to this point is that he proved with The Big Sick that he's capable of greatness when working with the right material. This hilarious and heartfelt romantic dramedy that was inspired by the early days of Nanjiani's relationship with his wife Emily Gordon is one of those movies that's just really easy to like. The candor that Nanjiani and Gordon-who co-wrote the Oscar-nominated script together-display in portraying the uniquely difficult conditions in which their love was born under allows every single note this film hits to feel completely honest. Despite all of the missteps he's taken over the past 7-8 years, I do believe that Nanjiani is capable of making another project that matches the wit and emotional resonance that's on display here.

Bottom Feeder: Ella McCay (2025)

When the calendar flipped to 2000, James L. Brooks just completely lost sight of the beautifully calibrated mix of comedy, drama and romance that made his movies such a treat to watch. Ella McCay-which marks his first features since 2010's How Do You Know-is the latest sign that Brooks is completely washed. The only thing more insane than Brooks' reliance on the type of Obama-era respectability politics that have long exited our government to tell this story of the lieutenant governor (Emma Mackey) of an unnamed state (spoiler alert: it's Rhode Island!) as she's preparing to be promoted after the beloved governor (Albert Brooks) steps down from his post to accept a presidential cabinet position are the subplots involving her reclusive online bookie brother (Spike Fern) trying to win back his ex-girlfriend (Ayo Edebiri), absentee womanizer father (Woody Harrelson) suddenly showing up to make amends after disappearing for over a decade following her mother's (Rebecca Hall) death and jealous idiot husband (Jack Lowden, in one of the worst performances of the decade) jeopardizing her political future for reasons that you really need to see to believe. Mackey deserves a ton of credit for being charming as hell and committing to selling the various bits of emotional turmoil McCay has to deal with in the midst of the biggest moment of her career, but everything else is so messy and absurd that her valiant effort can't be fully appreciated.  

Most Underrated: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)

Earlier this year, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates spent a couple of weeks on Top 10 most watched movie charts on Netflix in the US and I legitimately felt like it was some weird form of vindication for the longstanding love I have for this stupid fucking movie. Being a Mike and Dave fan over the past decade has been a very lonely place and for a fleeting moment, I felt the embrace of a community. I'd like to thank the hundreds, possibly thousands of people across the country who passively consumed that film during that small window of time for making me feel less alone for a fleeting moment. Anyways, I think this is one of the funniest movies released during the 2010's and fully intend on rewatching it in honor of its 10th anniversary in July. 

Most Overrated: None

Nanjiani making a career out of appearing in studio comedies that weren't well-liked, innocuous animated movies and blockbusters that got lukewarm at best receptions has made him exempt from this category. The Big Sick is the only film from the above list that could even meet the criteria of being overrated, which is kind of crazy for a guy that's been regularly acting in movies for over a decade now. Based on how his 2026 projects have been received so far, it could be a while longer before he shows up in something that could be considered for placement here. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2026

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Tackles

()=2025 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

30.(+) Kelvin Banks Jr. (Saints)

29.(25) Joe Alt (Chargers)

28.(+) Roger Rosengarten (Ravens)

27.(+) Abraham Lucas (Seahawks)

26.(29) Luke Goedeke (Buccaneers)

25.(+) Spencer Brown (Bills)

24.(11) Kolton Miller (Raiders)

23.(18) Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)

22.(19) Dion Dawkins (Bills)

21.(20) Charles Cross (Seahawks)

20.(23) Paris Johnson Jr. (Cardinals)

19.(28) Mike McGlinchey (Broncos)

18.(5) Rashawn Slater (Chargers)

17.(+) Colton McKivitz (49ers)

16.(24) Darnell Wright (Bears)

15.(7) Christian Darrisaw (Vikings)

14.(13) Jake Matthews (Falcons)

13.(16) Taylor Moton (Panthers)

12.(21) Alaric Jackson (Rams)

11.(12) Bernhard Raimann (Colts)

10.(3) Lane Johnson (Eagles)

9.(9) Laremy Tunsil (Commanders)

8.(10) Brian O'Neill (Vikings)

7.(8) Zach Tom (Packers)

6.(22) Andrew Thomas (Giants)

5.(14) Garett Bolles (Broncos)

4.(1) Jordan Mailata (Eagles)

3.(6) Tristan Wirfs (Buccaneers)

2.(4) Trent Williams (49ers)

1.(2) Penei Sewell (Lions)

Tuesday, May 26, 2026

Movie Review: I Love Boosters

 

Nearly 8 years ago, I penned one of the most scathing reviews I've ever written about Boots Riley's debut feature Sorry to Bother You. Riley has returned to the world of movies after trying his hand at television with 2023's I'm a Virgo with another absurdist social sci-fi satire in I Love Boosters. Has all of this time away from Riley's creative output caused me to warm up to his brand of hyperactive maximalism? Nope, but the vitriol that I have for Sorry to Bother You (mostly) didn't carry over to I Love Boosters

The working-class subculture Riley uses as the jumping off point for his wacky shenanigans this time around is "boosting", which is the practice of shoplifting clothes and selling them on the street at a discounted price. The boosters we follow here are a trio of Oakland women known as "The Velvet Gang" (Keke Palmer, Naomi Ackie, Taylour Paige) who go around the Bay Area in elaborate disguises stealing from luxury stores. They view it as a service for their community and have become kind of folk heroes to people who otherwise would never be able to afford to buy designer brand merchandise. Things get trickier for The Velvet Gang when they draw the ire of luxury fashion titan Christie Smith (Demi Moore) and she ups the security at all of her stores, which causes The Velvet Gang to get jobs at one of her stores to make ends meet while they plot how to steal merchandise from the inside without getting caught. The Velvet Gang's plan to lay low for a bit gets blown up pretty quickly when they discover that Smith stole a dress design that Corvette (Palmer) submitted to a contest a year earlier. As payback for Smith's artistic theft, The Velvet Gang draw up a plan to clear out the inventory of every single store Smith owns in the Bay Area. Their simple revenge plan becomes a lot more complicated when they cross paths with a Chinese factory worker (Poppy Liu) who has her own bone to pick with Smith and a co-worker (Eiza Gonzalez) who wants to unionize their store to fight back against the policies that have severely restricted their break time, vacation time and paychecks. 

At a time where income inequality and corporate exploitation of workers are even more prevalent than they were when Sorry to Bother You was released in July 2018, shitting on a movie that tackles these issues head-on feels kind of wrong. However, Riley having good politics doesn't make him a good filmmaker. His approach to sociopolitical commentary remains referencing a couple of dozen issues over the course of a movie then failing to meaningfully explore any of them. It's like he's gearing up to teach a class on the intersection of class, race, worker's rights and the fashion industry, but can't get past the introductory blub that he wrote for each section on the syllabus. There are some coherent points about the importance of collectivism, discovering that so many struggles around the world are interconnected and the fashion industry's common practice of stealing ideas from smaller designers (especially black and brown ones) then trying to pass them off as their own, but they ultimately get snuffed out by the plethora of other less developed ideas Riley bats around here that are all fighting each other for oxygen. Being conscience of and empathetic towards the struggles working class people are facing at the hands of corporations shows that Riley has genuine class consciousness. However, his solidarity doesn't excuse how his lack of focus in addressing these topics eliminates any chance he has of saying anything about the plight of the working people of the world that boasts much substance. 

Once again, Riley's Jackson Pollock approach to social/political commentary isn't in the pole position of my gripes with his filmmaking style. That title would go to his use of comedy. Absurdist satire is what he felt was the best vessel for the stories he's trying to tell. It's a choice that makes sense given all of the loopy turns his narrative takes and eccentric people that populate his stories. In practice, it becomes a brutal miscalculation as Riley just has zero feel for comedy. His approach to absurdist humor is weirdly noncommittal as he refuses to lean into the zaniness of the situations that he puts his characters in or counteract it with deadpan deliveries. What makes the jokes consistently falling flat particularly head-scratching is that Riley has a cast full of actors (Palmer, Ackie, Paige, Liu, Gonzalez, LaKeith Stanfield, Will Poulter, Don Cheadle, several people who make surprise cameos here) who have experience thriving with comedy at his disposal and yet, his punchlines are still getting met with far more crickets than guffaws. Comedic instincts are something that are something that can't be taught and Riley has proven that he simply doesn't have them. 

Where I Love Boosters does separate itself from Sorry to Bother You is in the art departments. Neon gave Riley a $20 mil budget- which is over 6 times higher than what he made Sorry to Bother You for- to make this and that significantly larger pool of money to play with can be seen on screen. Riley set out to make something with a vibrant aesthetic, and it shows in the explosively colorful production design, costumes and cinematography that allow every frame of the film to really pop visually. He even went as far as to find ways to work stop motion and miniatures into the big final act setpieces. Riley's visual sensibilities and creativity are leaps ahead of the rest of his filmmaking bag (which isn't surprising given his previous experience with music video direction) and I honestly think that his best path forward as a filmmaker is to make something that is driven by these qualities instead of a narrative. 

Despite my feelings towards I Love Boosters and Riley's work, I hope that he'll be able to keep putting stuff out in the future. While the grim financial realities of indie filmmaking in the 2020's aren't lost on me, this sector will start to march towards extinction if the industry refuses to back singular cinematic voices with passionate fanbases once they make one movie that doesn't do well at the box office relative to its budget. Most movies are a big roll of the financial dice and the fact that many people in the business seem to have lost sight of that is pretty fucking alarming. Time will tell if Riley can become the next Ari Aster and come out of multiple financial misfires in a row professionally unscathed, but I sure as shit wouldn't bet on that happening.  

Monday, May 25, 2026

Movie Review: Passenger

There may not have been a worse spot on the entire summer slate to release Passenger than this past weekend. Granted, a supernatural horror movie that heavily relies on the loud jump scare trope to provide jolts and boasts an inherently silly story about a demonic entity known as "The Passenger" (Joseph Lopez) who latches onto a young couple (Lou Llobell, Jacob Scipio) living out of their van after they had the audacity to pull over on the open road at night to offer assistance to someone (Miles Fowler) they witnessed get into a car accident wouldn't have been met with widespread praise if it had been slotted elsewhere on the calendar, but sandwiching it between the WOM-powered phenomenon that is Obsession and the buzzy feature adaptation of YouTube series Backrooms-which has drawn favorable early reactions from the critics who've seen it over the past couple of weeks and is pacing to obliterate the record for the biggest opening weekend in A24's history that's currently held by Civil War ($25.7 mil)- is inevitably going to maximize the scrutiny it receives. 

While I certainly understand where the detractors of Passenger are coming from, I will not be joining their disgruntled chrous as I walked out of the theater having had a good time with it. Seasoned horror filmmaker André Øvredal (The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark) punches up the predictable scare punchlines with some tense setpieces that are full of excellent camerawork that invoke the feeling of being completely disoriented from traveling nonstop (an extended sequence in the second act where Llobell's character is trying to find their van in a strip mall parking lot does a particularly good job of capturing this), there's a lingering atmosphere of dread present as the main characters navigate vast wide open spaces with the blind hope that they'll stumble upon a place that can provide them with some sort of safety from this serious supernatural threat and the lore surrounding "The Passenger" is made simple enough where it doesn't bog down the pacing of this efficient 94-minute ride with bloated exposition. Surrendering to the ridiculous baggage that Passenger is carrying with it is easy to do when it mostly succeeds in its primary goal of finding ways to be spooky. Part of the beauty of horror movies is that there's space for all sorts of different projects within it and in a month where the genre has commanded so much of the theatrical spotlight, I'm thrilled that flawed but entertaining studio horror flicks that will largely be forgotten within a few years of their release got some representation. 

Grade: B
 

Thursday, May 21, 2026

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Tight Ends

()=2025 Ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

25.(11) Isaiah Likely (Giants)

24.(12) Mike Gesicki (Bengals)

23.(14) Pat Freiermuth (Steelers)

22.(4) Mark Andrews (Ravens)

21(+) .Oronde Gasden II (Chargers)

20.(+) Harold Fannin Jr. (Browns)

19.(+) Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

18.(7) T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

17.(8) Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

16.(+) Brenton Strange (Jaguars)

15.(+) A.J. Barner (Seahawks)

14.(+) Colby Parkinson (Rams)

13.(+) Tyler Warren (Colts)

12.(+) Juwan Johnson (Saints)

11.(20) Dalton Schultz (Texans)

10.(5) Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

9.(+) Colston Loveland (Bears)

8.(10) Tucker Kraft (Packers)

7.(16) Dalton Kincaid (Bills)

6.(13) Hunter Henry (Patriots)

5.(+) Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

4.(3) Brock Bowers (Raiders)

3.(6) Sam LaPorta (Lions)

2.(1) George Kittle (49ers)

1.(2) Trey McBride (Cardinals)

Wednesday, May 20, 2026

Movie Review: In the Grey

If Operation Fortune and The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare was Guy Ritchie relaxing with a beachside margarita, In the Grey is him doing bumps in a bathroom stall before giving the keynote address at some exotic business conference. Through a frantic string of monologues that detail schemes, contingences and the supplies needed to make them happen, Ritchie manages to make a movie about a lawyer (Eiza Gonzalez) and the team of shooters and saboteurs led by Henry Cavil and Jake Gyllenhaal she uses to extract debt from unsavory delinquent clients embarking on a very tough job where their target is a powerful crime lord (Carlos Bardem) who resides on a remote island where he controls damn near everything far more of a chore to follow than it should be. Gonzalez, Cavil and Gyllenhaal-who have all worked with Ritchie on other projects recently-know how to dispense the quips Ritchie chucked at them three minutes before the cameras rolled with enough deadpan swagger to make them convincing, but these zingers being delivered effectively doesn't mean all that much when they mainly serve as a way to break up the all of the breathless musings that are driving the plot. The arrival of shootouts, chases and huge explosions in the final act feels strangely tranquil as it forces the characters to practice brevity when they speak and mercifully allows the brainless macho shit that Ritchie has become particularly fond of doing in recent years to become the star of the show. Once this big extended action setpiece wraps up, there's about 5 more minutes of narrative housekeeping to be done and the credits start rolling. Ending things on such an efficient, high octane note made the sometimes-grating nature of the first 2/3 of the film easier to swallow and powered In the Grey into the respectably decent territory that Ritchie has often found himself since he turned into a machine that refuses to take time off post-Wrath of Man.

Grade: B-