Nicole Kidman Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Nicole Kidman-whose latest project "Practical Magic 2" releases in theaters today. 

Nicole Kidman's Filmography Ranked:

25.Lion (D)

24.The Others (D+)

23.Practical Magic (D+)

22.The Beguiled (C-)

21.Secret in their Eyes (C)

20.The Paperboy (C)

19.A Family Affair (C)

18.Batman Forever (C+)

17.Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (B-)

16.Stoker (B-)

15.Dead Calm (B-)

14.Days of Thunder (B-)

13.Eyes Wide Shut (B-)

12.Just Go with It (B) 

11.Destroyer (B)

10.Bombshell (B)

9.Babygirl (B)

8.The Upside (B)

7.Being the Ricardos (B)

6.Paddington (B)

5.Aquaman (B+)

4.Rabbit Hole (B+)

3.The Northman (B+)

2.To Die For (B+)

1.The Killing of a Sacred Deer (B+)

Top Dog: The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

Even by the standards of notorious sicko Yorgos Lanthimos, The Killing of a Sacred Deer is going to be a tough sell for a lot of people. This is a BLEAK movie that goes to some dark places early on and only ventures further down a rabbit hole of despair and hopelessness as it progresses. This dedication to uncompromising darkness alongside the terrific performances from Colin Farrell, Kidman and Barry Keoghan are the main reasons why this deeply unnerving movie is very high on my list of favorite Lanthimos joints. 

Bottom Feeder: Lion (2016)

While I can't speak to how true to reality its fact-based story of an Indian man (Dev Patel) who mostly grew up in Australia returning to India with the hopes of finding the family he was accidently separated from when he was 5, Lion plays out in such a shamelessly melodramatic matter that I didn't buy an ounce of the wannabe feel good bullshit it was putting down. Disingenuous, faux sentimental bullshit like will never not piss me off and part of me is glad that the love Lion received during the 2016 awards season has largely dissipated with time. 

Most Underrated: Rabbit Hole (2010)

Rabbit Hole is a moving, raw and honest portrayal of grief and guilt that has really managed to fly completely under-the-radar since it was released 16 years ago. Kidman and Aaron Eckhart are stellar as a married couple that's struggling to maintain their relationship as they try to process the death of their 4-year-old son in a tragic accident and the really smart script from David Lindsay-Abair does a terrific job of delivering a sensitive, emotionally intelligent exploration of how this unfathomable loss is driving a wedge between them that may never be able to be repaired.

Most Overrated: The Others (2001)

The Others was one of those movies that I was too young to see when it came out but was old enough to process just how much buzz there was surrounding it at the time. By the time I finally got around to watching it in the spring of 2022, I was kind of taken aback by how I didn't like it. Outside of its gorgeous gothic haunted house aesthetics, nothing about this movie impressed me in the slightest. The pacing is brutal, the performances are merely alright, and the really silly twist ending manages to further unravel an already pretty weak story. 

2026 NFL Prediction-Palooza: Division Standings, Playoffs, Super Bowl, MVP and More

Today is NFL Groundhog Day as a rematch of the last consequential game that was held (Super Bowl LX: Seattle Seahawks vs. New England Patriots) is set to kick off the 2026 regular season. In honor of this wonderful occasion, I've put together a long list of predictions for the upcoming season that includes MVP, Super Bowl and for the first time ever as I elected to retire the NFL Preview Series this year, division standings. Hope you enjoy this collection of nonsense and the game tonight.

Division Standings:

AFC East:

1.Buffalo Bills (10-7)

2.New England Patriots (10-7)

3.New York Jets (4-13)

4.Miami Dolphins (2-15)

AFC North:

1.Baltimore Ravens (12-5)

2.Cincinnati Bengals (10-7)

3.Pittsburgh Steelers (8-9)

4.Cleveland Browns (3-14)

AFC South:

1.Houston Texans (11-6)

2.Jacksonville Jaguars (10-7)

3.Indianapolis Colts (7-10)

4.Tennesssee Titans (5-12)

AFC West:

1.Denver Broncos (12-5)

2.Los Angeles Chargers (9-8)

3.Kansas City Chiefs (7-10)

4.Las Vegas Raiders (4-13)

NFC East:

1.Philadelphia Eagles (11-6)

2.New York Giants (9-8)

3.Dallas Cowboys (7-10)

4.Washington Commanders (5-12)

NFC North:

1.Minnesota Vikings (12-5)

2.Green Bay Packers (11-6)

3.Chicago Bears (9-8)

4.Detroit Lions (6-11)

NFC South:

1.Tampa Bay Buccaneers (11-6)

2.Carolina Panthers (8-9)

3.New Orleans Saints (6-11)

4.Atlanta Falcons (5-12)

NFC West:

1.Los Angeles Rams (14-3)

2.Seattle Seahawks (11-6)

3.San Francisco 49ers (8-9)

4.Arizona Cardinals (3-14)

Playoffs:

AFC:

1.Broncos

2.Ravens

3.Texans

4.Bills

5.Patriots

6.Bengals

7.Jaguars

Wild Card:

Ravens over Jaguars

Bengals over Texans

Bills over Patriots

Divisional Round:

Broncos over Bengals

Ravens over Bills

Conference Championship:

Ravens over Broncos

NFC:

1.Rams

2.Vikings 

3.Eagles

4.Buccaneers 

5.Seahawks

6.Packers

7.Giants

Wild Card:

Vikings over Giants

Packers over Eagles

Seahawks over Buccaneers

Divisional Round:

Rams over Packers

Seahawks over Vikings

Conference Championship:

Rams over Seahawks

Super Bowl:

Rams over Ravens

Year-End Awards:

MVP: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Offensive Player of the Year: Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

Defensive Player of the Year: Myles Garrett (Rams)

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Carnell Tate (Titans)

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Reuben Bain Jr. (Buccaneers) 

Comeback Player of the Year: Kyler Murray (Vikings)

Coach of the Year: Jesse Minter (Ravens)

League Leaders:

Passing YDS: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Passing TD's: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Rushing YDS: Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

Rushing TD's: Jonathan Taylor (Colts)

Receiving YDS: Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

Receiving TD's: Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

Receptions: Brock Bowers (Raiders)

Sacks: Myles Garrett (Rams)

Interceptions: Derek Stingley Jr. (Texans)

Forced Fumbles: Aidan Hutchinson (Lions)

Tackles: Edgerrin Cooper (Packers)

Miscellaneous Awards:

AFC Team Most Likely to Surprise: Bengals

AFC Team Most Likely to Disappoint: Patriots

NFC Team Most Likely to Surprise: Giants

NFC Team Most Likely to Disappoint: Bears

Head Coach Most Likely to Be Fired During the Season: Aaron Glenn (Jets)

2026 NFL Power Rankings: Week 1

1.Seattle Seahawks Week 1 opponent: New England Patriots

2.Los Angeles Rams Week 1 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

3.New England Patriots Week 1 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

4.Denver Broncos Week 1 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

5.Houston Texans Week 1 opponent: Buffalo Bills

6.Chicago Bears Week 1 opponent: Carolina Panthers

7.San Francisco 49ers Week 1 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

8.Philadelphia Eagles Week 1 opponent: Washington Commanders

9.Buffalo Bills Week 1 opponent: Houston Texans

10.Green Bay Packers Week 1 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

11.Jacksonville Jaguars Week 1 opponent: Cleveland Browns

12.Los Angeles Chargers Week 1 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

13.Baltimore Ravens Week 1 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

14.Minnesota Vikings Week 1 opponent: Green Bay Packers

15.Detroit Lions Week 1 opponent: New Orleans Saints

16.Pittsburgh Steelers Week 1 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

17.Dallas Cowboys Week 1 opponent: New York Giants

18.Kansas City Chiefs Week 1 opponent: Denver Broncos

19.Carolina Panthers Week 1 opponent: Chicago Bears

20.Tampa Bay Buccaneers Week 1 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

21.Cincinnati Bengals Week 1 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

22.Indianapolis Colts Week 1 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

23.New Orleans Saints Week 1 opponent: Detroit Lions

24.Washington Commanders Week 1 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

25.New York Giants Week 1 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

26.Atlanta Falcons Week 1 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

27.Tennesee Titans Week 1 opponent: New York Jets

28.New York Jets Week 1 opponent: Tennessee Titans

29.Arizona Cardinals Week 1 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

30.Las Vegas Raiders Week 1 opponent: Miami Dolphins

31.Cleveland Browns Week 1 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

32.Miami Dolphins Week 1 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

Movie Review: Onslaught

 

Adam Wingard brushed off the failures of Death Note and Blair Witch in a very unique way by making a pair of successful, pretty well-liked blockbusters in Godzilla vs. Kong and Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. With his artistic image rehabilitated and producers eager to work with him after making Warner Brothers a boatload of cash, Wingard had the freedom to do whatever the hell he wanted when he elected to not come back for the upcoming Godzilla x Kong: Supernova. Instead of going bigger, Wingard decided to return to his down-and-dirty genre movie roots for the first time since 2014's The Guest with original action horror vehicle Onslaught. While it's not as high on giddy energy or sleazy thrills as You're Next or The Guest, it's still a welcome return to the style of filmmaking that put Wingard on the map. 

For those of you out there that have seen Wingard's early work, Onslaught is speaking a language you're fluent in. His fascination with the evils of the military industrial complex and love of 80's B-movies are the driving forces behind this tale of a PTSD-afflicted Army veteran (Adria Arjona) rotting away in an isolated trailer New Mexico trailer park who has to rely on her old skill set when a trio of genetically enhanced super soldiers (Alex Pereira, Dave Campbell, Tyler Hall) created by a former Nazi scientist (Dan Stevens) designed to wage war on the American populace escape from a secret government facility after a test run for their private contractor buyer (Michael Biehn) goes awry. Wingard is completely at ease returning to operating in his old sleazy register as he concocts an efficient, stylish pseudo-slasher flick that feels like it was ripped from the bottom shelf of a video store circa 1986. Some viewers will take issue with how thin Onslaught's story/social commentary is, and I can't argue with them on that point as it's mostly just there to provide an excuse to unleash these glowing-eyed killing machines onto an unsuspecting population. However, there is so much cool shit going on (Gigantic blood squibs! Insane chainsaw kills! Oren Soffer becoming the latest cinematographer to prove that night scenes on digital cameras can look sick if they're lit properly!) and magnetic actors (Arjona, Stevens, Rebecca Hall, Reginald VelJohnson, Eric Warehiem and MVP Drew Starkey with a mesmerizing freak turn that has finally sold me on his status as one of the industry's rising stars) having fun throwing themselves into this weird little fucked up world that I didn't really care that Wingard was more interested in reveling in his long overdue return to his beloved grindhouse aesthetics than examining the contempt the United States government has for its own people and the role that the military plays in carrying out this violent disdain. Onslaught is a flavor of genre picture that doesn't really exist anymore and when somebody like Wingard is responsible for bringing one into the world it's a legitimate cause for celebration among the small group of sickos who care about this sort of thing. Welcome home to Sleazeville Mr. Wingard, hopefully you can stay a while before you get called back up to the higher class digs of Blockbuster City.

Grade: B

RIP Andy Williams

I was shocked and saddened to hear that musician and professional wrestler Andy Williams died early this morning after collapsing following a match last night in Millvale, Pennsylvania. He was 48. Williams was best known as one of the founding guitarists of Buffalo metalcore outfit Every Time I Die, a role that he remained in until they disbanded in 2022. Williams elected not to join the rest of the instrumental section from ETID's final lineup (lead guitarist/fellow founding ETID member Jordan Buckley, bassist Stephen Micciche, drummer Clayton "Goose" Holyoak) in their new band Better Lovers to focus on his wrestling career with AEW, but he was part of a newly founded post-hardcore/sludge metal band called Atomic Rule that released a pair of EP's last year. 

As I'm not a wrestling fan, Williams' work in ETID is what I'll primarily remember him by. Him and Buckley were such a formidable guitar tandem that always knew when to punch people in the face with their riffs or give them a chance to breathe before picking the tempo back up again. On top of his top-notch guitar playing, he was a colorful personality that fully embodied the goofy energy that ETID often carried themselves with. ETID would've never become the beacon of consistent greatness that made them one of the most influential bands in the history of metalcore without Williams and his electrifying presence. He'll be sorely missed and my thoughts go out to his family and friends. 

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II- whose latest project "By Any Means" releases in theaters today. 

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II's Filmography Ranked:

11.The Greatest Showman (C)

10.Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (B-)

9.All Day and a Night (B-)

8.Baywatch (B-)

7.First Match (B-)

6.Candyman (B-)

5.The Matrix Resurrections (B+)

4.Aquaman (B+)

3.The Trial of the Chicago 7 (B+)

2.Us (B+)

1.Ambulance (A)

Top Dog: Ambulance (2022)

Michael Bay, please come back to making movies. There are a few thousand of us that miss your demented ass dearly. Ambulance is one of the purest distillations of Bay's maximalist style that he's ever put out and its unwavering commitment to being relentless makes it an exhilarating movie that particularly popped on the big screen.   

Bottom Feeder: The Greatest Showman (2017)

Egregious whitewashing of P.T. Barnam's legacy aside, The Greatest Showman is just a very vanilla musical that suffocates the talent of its exceptional cast (Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams, Zac Efron, Zendaya, Rebecca Ferguson, Abdul-Mateen II) with its pervasive plainness. 

Most Underrated: Ambulance (2022)

As we enter the final quarter of 2026, I can confidently say that I believe that Ambulance is currently among the best movies released this decade thus far. Bay is firing on all cylinders as he uses brain-breaking drone shots, massive explosions and dangerous stunts to heighten the chaos of a heist movie that is centered around a pair of bank robbers (Jake Gyllenhaal, Abdul-Mateen II)-who happen to be adoptive brothers-hijacking an ambulance after the job goes sideways and racing around Los Angeles trying to avoid getting arrested or killed while the EMT (Eiza González) tries to keep the cop (Jackson White) someone from their crew shot alive. The fact that all of this manic spectacle was delivered on a shoestring budget ($40 mil) by Bay's standards makes its tremendous success that much more impressive.

Most Overrated: The Greatest Showman (2017)

It's not exactly hard to deduce why The Greatest Showman became a crowdpleasing box office sensation that remains in the zeitgeist nearly 9 years after its release. Underdogs and outcasts overcoming adversity to find success is the ultimate feel-good movie formula and the aforementioned ensemble cast is full of actors that are well-liked by the masses. While I'm definitely not immune to this style of storytelling or being swept away by watching actors that I like on screen, The Greatest Showman doesn't have enough personality or excitement in its DNA for its "charms" to work on me.  

10 Most Anticipated Albums of Fall 2026

10.Judiciary-Stalagmite Angels (Release Date: September 4)

9.Darkest Hour-Suffer Divine (Release Date: October 30)

8.Queens of the Stone Age-Perfecth (Release Date: October 30)

7.Anthrax-Cursum Perficio (Release Date: September 18)

6.Hatebreed-Fatal Paradox (Release Date: November 6)

5.Amon Amarth-The Allfather Awakens (Release Date: October 2)

4.Frontierer-Ultraviolet Parasite (Release Date: October 23)

3.Tove Lo-Estrus (Release Date: September 18)

2.Carly Rae Jepsen-Day and Night (Release Date: September 18)

1.Remi Wolf-Mud (Release Date: October 9)

Also Intend to Listen to:

156/Silence-From a Distance (Release Date: September 4)

Behemoth-I, Scvlptor (Release Date: September 4)

Chat Pile-Who Loves the Sun (Release Date: September 4)

Harrison Gordon-BLISS (Release Date: September 4)

PRESIDENT-Blood of Your Empire (Release Date: September 4)

Brat-Manslayer (Release Date: September 25)

The Ocean-Solaris (Release Date: September 25)

Pain of Truth-Pain of Truth (Release Date: September 25)

Victoria Monét-Frequency of Love (Release Date: October 2)

The Number Twelve Looks Like You-Howls from the Holographic Heart (Release Date: October 16)

Anderson. Paak and Cordae-Heavy is the Crown (Release Date: October 23)

Mental Cruelty-Echoes of a Forlorn Land (Release Date: October 23)

Entheos-Empty on the Inside (Release Date: October 23)

Polyphia-Be Not Afraid (Release Date: October 23)

Northlane-Anemoia (Release Date: October 30)

Carnifex-More Than Misery (Release Date: November 6)

Royal Blood-Dead Company (Release Date: November 13)