Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Screw Your Shitty Hot Take

(Note: For the sake of not being dubbed a "stat masturbator" or "Bill Simmons youth", I largely held back from using specific stats in this piece.) 

The Golden State Warriors completed their remarkable Western Conference Finals comeback with their 96-88 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder in game 7 last night and are now headed to their second straight NBA finals. This comeback seemed damn near impossible just last Tuesday when they fell behind 3-1 in the series after getting blown 118-94 in Game 4. The Warriors quest to build on their historic 2015-16 regular season with a championship and join the likes of the 1995-96 Bulls and the 1985-86 Celtics in the greatest NBA team of all-time conversation seemed destined to come to an ugly, untimely conclusion.

The minute the Warriors appeared to be on the verge of elimination, writers and talking heads across the country wasted no time pumping out their SCORCHING HOT TAKES about their seemingly imminent demise. Some questioned the leadership skills of Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green. Some questioned their mental toughness. Some declared that Curry had officially lost his magic 3-point shooting touch and deeply pondered if he was still going to be able to make an impact without his trademark potency from the beyond the arc. Some questioned the legitimacy of their championship run a season ago. Some people even went as far to say that they were the most overrated team in the history of the NBA and their recording-breaking 2015-16 regular season was merely a fluke.

Now that the series is over and didn't have the outcome many people predicted, the narrative will conveniently change. In the next 48 hours, you will see a flood of thinkpieces and rants from talk radio hosts and NBA analysts focusing on how the Thunder choked. Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant will be accused of not stepping in big game situations. Billy Donovan will be criticized for the coaching mistakes he made along the way and it will stated ad nauseam how a more seasoned NBA coach would've been able to get his team to close out this series without even breaking a sweat. There will be endless amounts of speculation about where impending free agent Durant will land this offseason since he once again came up short of capturing a title with the Thunder. Not one word of praise will be uttered for the Warriors and not one of the people who had this team buried last week will admit they were wrong and legitimately backpedal from their premature strong opinion.

I'd be lying if I said I thought the Warriors were going to rally in this series. I figured they would get one more win at Oracle Arena before losing a closely-contested contest when the series returned to Oklahoma for Game 6. That being said, I also never doubted the Warriors ability to come back and win the series. One of the very few things I've learned in my brief time on this planet is to never count out a deep and talented team that is playing with their backs against the wall.

While high-profile sports media figures across the country were busy creating their masterworks of mindless verbal diarrhea speculating at what internal force was responsible for killing the Warriors' dominant, dream-like season, they should've been looking at what the Thunder were doing to take them off their game. The Thunder were disrupting the passing lanes and forcing turnovers, constantly getting to the free throw line, dominating the paint and not allowing any of their premier shooters to get into a comfortable rhythm. The consistent tenacity and precision they played with allowed them to beat the Warriors by a combined score of 359-301 in Game's 1, 3 and 4.

In the final three games, the Warriors made the necessary adjustments to overcome the Thunder's formula for success. They didn't allow the far bigger and stronger Thunder frontcourt to gain a substantial advantage on the boards, their rapid ball movement and intelligent passing came back into the fold,and the open 3's that weren't falling in their three losses started to go down, which forced freuqent mismatches (ex: Steven Adams, Enes Kanter or Serge Ibaka covering Curry and Thompson) and subsequently caused the Thunder's poor perimeter defense to be exposed. The Warriors weren't imploding in their losses, they were simply being out-executed by a talented team that was playing their best basketball of the season and once they re-calibrated and recognized the mistakes they were making, the team that the NBA had feared all season long re-emerged and went onto make the highly improbable comeback that almost no basketball fan in the world expected them to make.

I get that "hot takes" make for fun fodder and high ratings, viewership, readership, etc in the ADD-and Twitter-fueled sports climate of 2016, but people need to hold off on producing them until a team has ACTUALLY been eliminated from the playoffs. The Warriors will not be the last team to make these egomaniac, attention-whoring blowhards look like imbeciles, but they are the latest reminder that forced, premature hot takes are a dumb sports trend that needs to come to an immediate end. 

P.S: I'm eagerly awaiting to see what excuse my hometown of Boston's resident moronic hot take fountain Tony Massarotti (aka the "Bill Belichick orchestrated Deflategate" guy) of the god awful "Felger and Mazz" show on 98.5 The Sports Hub produces this afternoon to undo his two-part "The Warriors just aren't very good/they didn't beat anyone last year" rant last week. The callers are once again going to spend four hours owning him and his thin-skinned ass is going to blow a gasket trying to produce dozens of poorly-realized, detail-free arguments as to why he wasn't wrong and the caller is the true moron. If this isn't the sports radio event of the year in Massachusetts, I'm going to be extremely disappointed.

Monday, May 30, 2016

The Best and Worst of Will Arnett

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows" and "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" star Will Arnett.

Films starring Will Arnett that I've seen:
Ice Age: The Meltdown
RV
Let's Go to Prison
Blades of Glory
Hot Rod
The Brothers Solomon
Semi-Pro
The Rocker
Monsters vs. Aliens
Jonah Hex
Despicable Me
The Lego Movie
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Best Performance: Hot Rod (2007)
While he's only in the film for approximately 15 minutes, Arnett still manages to turn in the funniest performance of his career in Hot Rod. Arnett's role as Rod's (Andy Samberg) love interest Denise's (Isla Fisher) asshole boyfriend allows him to showcase the zaniness and consistent willingness to go above and beyond to sell a joke that's made him one of the most respected comedic actors in the business over the past 15 years.

Worst Performance: Let's Go to Prison (2006)
This isn't so much a bad performance as it is a case of an actor getting severely overshadowed by his co-stars. Arnett's straight man act doesn't even come close to matching the spastic energy Dax Shepard and flawless deadpan delivery Chi McBride bring to this under-the-radar comedy.  

Best Film: Hot Rod (2007)
With Popstar hitting theaters on Friday, it's fitting that the Lonely Island's only other feature film gets the nod here. Hot Rod is the type of brilliant abstract comedy that comes along once in a generation. The over-the-top bizarre humor will alienate most audiences, but if you're a fan of unapologetic absurdity and frequent WTF moments, Hot Rod will cause you to laugh yourself into a coma.
    
Worst Film: Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
The first Ice Age film was one of the better animated films released in the 2000's. The follow-up..... not so much. The charm and sharp humor that anchored the first film were swamped out for weak jokes and an influx of annoying new characters (most notably a pair of possums voiced by Seann William Scott and Josh Peck) in the second installment of this now long-running franchise. It may not be a Shrek the Third-level disaster, but Ice Age: The Meltdown is still a completely worthless and unsatisfying sequel.

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Now You See Me 2" star Mark Ruffalo.

Friday, May 27, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Defensive Tackles

30.Vince Wilfork (Texans)
29.Ahtyba Rubin (Seahawks)
28.Sharrif Floyd (Vikings)
27.Roy Miller (Jaguars)
26.Eddie Goldman (Bears)
25.Cedric Thornton (Cowboys)
24.Jordan Hill (Seahawks)
23.Star Lotulelei (Panthers)
22.Nick Fairley (Saints)
21.Kyle Williams (Bills)
20.Brandon Mebane (Chargers)
19.Bennie Logan (Eagles)
18.Haloti Ngata (Lions)
17.Jaye Howard (Chiefs)
16.Jonathan Hankins (Giants)
15.Michael Brockers (Rams)
14.Terrence Knighton (Patriots)
13.Sen'Derrick Marks (Jaguars)
12.Dontari Poe (Chiefs)
11.Ian Williams (49ers)
10.Brandon Williams (Ravens)
9.Dan Williams (Raiders)
8.Damon Harrison (Giants)
7.Linval Joseph (Vikings)
6.Kawann Short (Panthers)
5.Marcell Dareus (Bills)
4.Geno Atkins (Bengals)
3.Gerald McCoy (Buccaneers)
2.Aaron Donald (Rams)
1.Ndamukong Suh (Dolphins)

Thursday, May 26, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Defensive Ends

30.Chris Baker (Redskins)
29.Mario Williams (Dolphins)
28.Robert Ayers (Buccaneers)
27.Derrick Shelby (Falcons)
26.Leonard Williams (Jets)
25.William Hayes (Rams)
24.Derek Wolfe (Broncos)
23.Carlos Dunlap (Bengals)
22.Vinny Curry (Eagles)
21.Cliff Avril (Seahawks)
20.Everson Griffen (Vikings)
19.Jabbal Sheard (Patriots)
18.Robert Quinn (Rams)
17.Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants)
16.Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
15.Jerry Hughes (Bills)
14.Malik Jackson (Jaguars)
13.Sheldon Richardson (Jets)
12.Cameron Wake (Dolphins)
11.Oliver Vernon (Giants)
10.Cameron Heyward (Steelers)
9.Ezekiel Ansah (Lions)
8.Calias Campbell (Cardinals)
7.Jurrell Casey (Titans)
6.Mike Daniels (Packers)
5.Muhammad Wilkerson (Jets)
4.Michael Bennett (Seahawks)
3.Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2.Fletcher Cox (Eagles)
1.J.J. Watt (Texans)

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Best and Worst of Michael Fassbender

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "X-Men: Apocalypse" star Michael Fassbender.

Film starring Michael Fassbender that I've seen:
300
Inglorious Basterds
Jonah Hex
X-Men: First Class
Shame
Haywire
Prometheus 
12 Years a Slave
The Counselor 
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Slow West
Steve Jobs

Best Performance: Steve Jobs (2015)
HOT TAKE ALERT: I firmly believe that Fassbender should've taken home this year's Best Actor Oscar over Leonardo DiCaprio. Fassbender portrays the late Apple co-founder/CEO with relentless ferocity and a level of fearlessness that puts every aspect of his personality on display, no matter grim those traits may be. It's a truly mesmerizing performance and hopefully one day it'll get the mass recognition it deserves.     

Worst Performance: 12 Years a Slave (2013)
Keeping with the theme of the Academy Awards, I think Fassbender's turn in 12 Years a Slave as   ruthless plantation owner Edwin Epps is easily one of the worst nominated performance of my lifetime to-date. Fassbender's turns a character that should be menacing and disgusting into a god damn caricature thanks to his absurd overacting. Fassbender's cartoonish performance derailed the third act of 12 Years a Slave and is the number one reason why the film failed to be the powerful, no-holds-barred look at slavery that director Steve McQueen intended it to be.  

Best Film: Inglorious Basterds (2009)
Quentin Tarantino is one of the most fearless directors to ever come out of Hollywood and there's arguably no stronger evidence of just how depraved and creative he is than Inglorious Basterds. Using the backdrop of World War II, Tarantino is able to make a brutal, complex and often hilarious revenge story about a group of Jewish-American soldiers (led by Brad Pitt and Eli Roth) who specialize in brutally killing Nazis all over Europe. It doesn't quite reach the soaring heights of Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and Django Unchained, but Inglorious Basterds is still one of Tarantino's most satisfying and audacious efforts to-date.  

Worst Film: Haywire (2012)
Recently-retired director Steven Soderbergh was a filmmaker that you could never really get a good read on. Whenever you started to gain trust in his creative abilities, he would release a monumental dud that crushed any of the faith you had in him. It was a vicious cycle that never stopped at any point of his 20-plus year career in Hollywood. 2012's Haywire was the last film Soderbergh made that made me scratch my head and wonder what the hell he was trying to accomplish. Haywire is part-action movie, part slow-burning espionage drama and 100% excruciating to sit through. Even the acting from its impressive ensemble cast featuring the likes of Fassbender, Ewan McGregor and Michael Douglas manages to be unholy awful. There's a special place in cinematic hell for this dull, moronic turd of a movie.    

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows" and "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" star Will Arnett. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Centers

20.Hroniss Grasu (Bears)
19.Russell Bodine (Bengals)
18.Corey Linsley (Packers)
17.Ben Jones (Titans)
16.Mitch Morse (Chiefs)
15.Jeremy Zuttah (Ravens) 
14.Stefen Wisniewski (Eagles)
13.John Sullivan (Vikings)
12.Jason Kelce (Eagles)
11.Joe Berger (Vikings)
10.Mike Pouncey (Dolphins)
9.Nick Mangold (Jets)
8.Weston Richburg (Giants)
7.Eric Wood (Bills)
6.Max Unger (Saints)
5.Alex Mack (Falcons)
4.Rodney Hudson (Raiders)
3.Maurkice Pouncey (Steelers)
2.Ryan Kalil (Panthers)
1.Travis Fredrick (Cowboys)

Album Review: Ariana Grande-Dangerous Woman

Since she shifted her career focus from acting to music in 2011, Ariana Grande has simultaneously been one of the most intriguing and frustrating artists on the planet. Her vocals are as good as it gets in the current pop climate and she's been responsible for some of the most interesting pop songs of the past few years ("Problem", "Love Me Harder"), but her often lackluster production and inconsistent albums squandered her potential to be a standout artist in the genre. On her third LP, Dangerous Woman, Grande works out just about all of the kinks that dragged down 2013's Yours Truly and 2014's My Everything and finally becomes the force of nature she's shown signs of being in the past.

Calling this record "dangerous" would be a stretch, but Grande does take a number of surprising stylistic risks over the course of the album's 16 tracks. Dangerous Woman sees Grande tackling everything from reggae ("Side to Side") to full-blown dance-pop ("Be Alright") to 60's inspired soul ("Moonlight") with equal success and vibrancy. The near-constant experimentation and genre-swapping naturally leads to a couple of missteps along the way ("Everyday", a failed attempt at pop/trap hybrid which features Future at his most obnoxious and the dull ballad "Leave Me Lonely"), but it's awesome to see her successfully escape the strictly synthpop and piano-ballad formula that defined her previous material and push the boundaries of what she's capable of as an artist.

The one constant among the array of different styles explored on this record is the quality of the choruses. The wide range and staggering power of Grande's vocals gives her the unique ability to pull off just about any style of chorus you could conceive. Whether the song calls for something massive ("Greedy", "Into You"), sultry ("Sometimes", "Let Me Love You") or subdued (the aforementioned "Moonlight" and "Be Alright"), Grande is able to deliver in a major way and create a hook that successful gets drilled into your head immediately. The success of pop music is largely measured by the strength of its hooks and I can't remember the last time an album featured as many brilliantly-executed and insanely catchy ones as Dangerous Woman does.  

Dangerous Woman is an essential modern pop release that considerably raises the bar for every other artist in the genre right now. The Taylor Swift's and Katy Perry's of the world are going to have significantly step their game up if they want to match the level of diversity, consistency and memorability this record achieves. With Dangerous Woman, Grande has officially separated herself from the crowded pack of modern pop artists and if she continues to put out music that matches or exceeds the quality of this record, it will only be a matter of time until she's immortalized alongside Madonna and her spiritual sister Mariah Carey in the annals of pop history.    

4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Into You
2.Greedy
3.Bad Decisions

Monday, May 23, 2016

Movie Review: Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

Neighbors was a massive success back in 2014 due to its unique premise (a fraternity moves in next door to a 30-something couple with a new baby) and a cast of comedic heavyweights all killing their respective roles. That feeling of freshness may be missing from Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, but the laughs (mostly) remain in tact.

Like most comedy sequels, Neighbors 2 is very reminiscent of its predecessor. The clash between the Radnor's (Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne), who now have a second baby on the way and are trying to sell their house and the loud, hard-partying college students living next door (led by Kick-Ass' Chloe Grace Moretz, Dope's Kiersey Clemons and newcomer Beanie Feldstein, who is the younger sister of Jonah Hill) is the film's primary source of comedy. The generational clash humor and onslaught of increasingly malicious and over-the-top pranks they pull on each other to gain the advantage in their battle for neighborhood power remarkably still works here. While it's clear that the humor is being mined from the same place as the original, the jokes rarely ever feel lazy or forced.

The feeling of successful familiarity that drives Neighbors 2 carries over to the cast as the deeply talented acting ensemble once again plays a pivotal role in making this material work so well. The newcomers and returning cast all deliver quality performances with ample standout moments and one-liners, but this film still undeniably belongs to Zac Efron. Despite the fact that he's relegated to a supporting role this time around, Efron manages to steal every single scene he's in thanks to his combination of outstanding timing and ability to perfectly skewer the "pretty boy" stereotype that's been attached to him since his High School Musical days. In addition to being absolutely hilarious, Efron adding some legitimate emotional depth to the dumb yet lovable recent college graduate Teddy Sanders by capturing the hopelessness he feels as he watches his former fraternity brothers enjoy successful careers and relationships while he continues to try to get his life together. Neighbors 2 further proves Efron's unlikely ascent to the top of the comedic actor food chain is completely justified.

The only really noticeable difference between Neighbors 2 and the original-aside from the obvious swamping out of a fraternity for a sorority-comes in the film's overarching messages. In between all of the gags about sex toys and drugs, the film makes some strong and insightful statements about how women are viewed in modern society and the ridiculous restrictions colleges put on sororities that don't apply to fraternities. It was pretty refreshing and surprising to see an over-the-top vulgar comedy have a pro woman's right message and treat all of its female characters with dignity and respect. Writer/director Nicholas Stoller and the army of other screenwriters deserve a ton of credit for making a film that addresses how poorly women are treated on college campuses without ever coming off as preachy or toning down the raunchy humor. Neighbors 2 is a slight downgrade from the original, but it's still a very funny movie that gets this summer's extensive R-rated comedy slate off to a rock-solid start.

4/5 Stars

Sunday, May 22, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Guards

30.Andy Levitre (Falcons)
29.Jeff Allen (Texans)
28.Brandon Linder (Jaguars)
27.Brandon Schreff (Redskins)
26.Louis Vazquez (Broncos)
25.John Greco (Browns)
24.Manny Ramirez (Bears)
23.James Carpenter (Jets)
22.Orlando Franklin (Chargers)
21.Jack Mewhort (Colts)
20.Justin Pugh (Giants) 
19.Clint Boling (Bengals)
18.Andrew Norwell (Panthers) 
17.Ramon Foster (Steelers)
16.Brandon Brooks (Eagles)
15.Joel Bitonio (Browns)
14.Matt Slauson (Chargers)
13.Gabe Jackson (Raiders)
12.T.J. Lang (Packers)
11.Trai Turner (Panthers)
10.Richie Incognito (Bills)
9.Kevin Zeitler (Bengals)
8.Kyle Long (Bears)
7.David DeCastro (Steelers)
6.Kelechi Osemele (Raiders)
5.Mike Iupati (Cardinals)
4.Zach Martin (Cowboys)
3.Evan Mathis (Cardinals)
2.Josh Sitton (Packers)
1.Marshal Yanda (Ravens)

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Best Albums of the Decade So Far (2010-15)

Here's the obligatory annual update to my best album of the decade so far list. Feel free to share, comment and cry.

2010
1.The Dillinger Escape Plan-Option Paralysis
2.letlive.-Fake History
3.Kvelertak-Kvelertak
4.As I Lay Dying-The Powerless Rise
5.Deftones-Diamond Eyes
6.Intronaut-Valley of Smoke
7.The Sword-Warp Riders
8.Kanye West-My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
9.Overkill-Ironbound
10.The Contortionist-Exoplanet
Honorable Mentions: High on Fire-Snakes for the Divine, Nas & Damian Marley-Distant Relatives, Volbeat-Beyond Hell/Above Heaven, Son of Aurelius-The Farthest Reaches, Decrepit Birth-Polarity

2011
1.The Black Dahlia Murder-Ritual
2.Revocation-Chaos of Forms
3.Protest the Hero-Scurrilous 
4.Unearth-Darkness in the Light
5.Fallujah-The Harvest Wombs
6.Machine Head-Unto the Locust
7.Mastodon-The Hunter
8.Born of Osiris-The Discovery9.The Story So Far-Under Soil and Dirt
10.Skeletonwitch-Forever Abomination
Honorable Mentions:Fleshgod Apocalypse-Agony ,Danny Brown-XXX, Obscura-Omnivium, All Shall Perish-This is Where it Ends, Last Chance to Reason-Level 2

2012
1.Between the Buried and Me-The Parallax II: Future Sequence
2.Death Grips-The Money Store
3.Every Time I Die-Ex Lives
4.The Faceless-Autotheism
5.Lana Del Rey-Born to Die
6.Sylosis-Monolith
7.Kendrick Lamar-good kid, m.A.A.d city
8.High on Fire-De Vermis Mysteriis
9.Periphery-Periphery II
10.Lamb of God-Resolution
Honorable Mentions: Coheed and Cambria-The Afterman: Ascension, Dying Fetus-Reign Supreme, Thank You Scientist-Maps of Non-Existent Places, Converge-All We Love We Leave Behind, God Forbid-Equilibrium

2013
1.Revocation-Revocation
2.Killswitch Engage-Disarm the Descent
3.The Dillinger Escape Plan-One of Us is the Killer
4.Protest the Hero-Volition
5.Battlecross-War of Will
6.The Ocean-Pelegial
7.Skeletonwitch-Serpents Unleashed
8.Run the Jewels-Run the Jewels
9.Danny Brown-Old
10.Hope for the Dying-Altheia 
Honorable Mentions: The Safety Fire-Mouth of Swords, August Burns Red-Rescue & Restore, Kanye West-Yeezus, State Champs-The Finer Things,The Black Dahlia Murder-Everblack

2014
1.Revocation-Deathless
2.Fallujah-The Flesh Prevails
3.Unearth-Watchers of Rule
4.Run the Jewels-Run the Jewels 2
5.Every Time I Die-From Parts Unknown
6.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Pinata
7.Behemoth-The Satanist
8.Job for a Cowboy-Sun Eater
9.Animals as Leaders-The Joy of Motion
10.Royal Blood-Royal Blood
Honorable Mentions: Alterbeast-Immortal, Goatwhore-Constricting Rage of the Merciless  Monuments-The Amanuensis, Beartooth-Disgusting, Body Count-Manslaughter

2015:
1.August Burns Red-Found in Far Away Places
2.The Black Dahlia Murder-Abysmal
3.Intronaut-The Direction of Last Things
4.Battlecross-Rise to Power
5.Kendrick Lamar-To Pimp a Butterfly
6.Periphery-Juggernaut (Alpha + Omega)
7.Mutoid Man-Bleeder
8.Dance Gavin Dance-Instant Gratification
9.Lana Del Rey-Honeymoon
10.Rivers of Nihil-Monarchy
Honorable Mentions: Vince Staples-Summertime '06, Action Bronson-Mr. Wonderful, iwrestledabearonce-Hail Mary, Mac Miller-GO: OD AM, While She Sleeps-Brainwashed 

Entire Decade So Far:
1.The Black Dahlia Murder-Ritual 
2.The Dillinger Escape Plan-Option Paralysis
3.Between the Buried and Me-The Parallax II: Future Sequence
4.Death Grips-The Money Store
5.Revocation-Deathless
6.letlive.-Fake History
7.August Burns Red-Found in Far Away Places
8.Killswitch Engage-Disarm the Descent
9.Fallujah-The Flesh Prevails
10.Kvelertak-Kvelertak
Honorable Mentions: Revocation-Chaos of Forms, Protest the Hero-Scurrilous, Unearth-Watchers of Rule, Every Time I Die-Ex Lives, The Dillinger Escape Plan-One of Us is the Killer

Best Films of the Decade So Far (2010-15)

Now that I've officially seen all of awards-bait and other noteworthy movies from 2015, the time has finally come to release the annual update of my favorite films of the decade. While there was a handful of films that I absolutely loved, the year of 2015 on the whole was the weakest of this decade so far by a pretty considerable margin. Here's hoping that 2016 will offer up more high quality projects(it hasn't through four and a half months) and get this mostly excellent six-year stretch of cinema back on track. Below you'll find my picks for the best of the 2010's up to this point in time on both a year-by-year and full decade basis. Hope you enjoy! 

2010:
1.Kick-Ass
2.Inception
3.Black Swan
4.The Fighter
5.The Book of Eli
6.The Town
7.Hot Tub Time Machine
8.True Grit
9.Toy Story 3
10.Get Him to the Greek
Honorable Mentions: The Social Network, The Other Guys, The Expendables, Shutter Island, Machete

2011:
1.50/50
2.The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
3.Fast Five
4.Super 8
5.Warrior
6.Source Code
7.Attack the Block 
8.Moneyball
9.Horrible Bosses
10.X-Men: First Class
Honorable Mentions: Hobo with a Shotgun, Drive, Sucker Punch, The Lincoln Lawyer, The Descendants

2012:
1.Django Unchained
2.Silver Linings Playbook
3.The Dark Knight Rises
4.21 Jump Street
5.End of Watch
6.The Expendables 2
7.Ted
8.The Raid: Redemption
9.The Avengers
10.Chronicle
Honorable Mentions: American Reunion, The Dictator, Looper, The Cabin in the Woods, Dredd

2013:
1.Frutivale Station
2.This is the End
3.American Hustle
4.The Spectacular Now
5.Short Term 12
6.Pain & Gain
7.Blue Jasmine
8.The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
9.Iron Man 3
10.Inside Llewyn Davis
Honorable Mentions: The Last Stand, Fast and Furious 6, Rush, Bad Grandpa, Prisoners

2014:
1.Gone Girl
2.Whiplash
3.22 Jump Street
4.Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
5.Nightcrawler
6.Top Five
7.Draft Day
8.The Raid 2
9.Guardians of the Galaxy
10.Boyhood
Honorable Mentions: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Kill the Messenger, The Skeleton Twins, The Imitation Game, Selma

2015:
1.Straight Outta Compton
2.Room
3.The Hateful Eight
4.Dope
5.Furious 7
6.Creed
7.Trainwreck
8.The Night Before
9.Concussion
10.Kingsman: The Secret Service
Honorable Mentions: Ex Machina, Sicario, Steve Jobs, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Spotlight

Entire Decade So Far:
1.Django Unchained
2.Gone Girl
3.Fruitvale Station
4.Kick-Ass
5.50/50
6.Whiplash
7.Inception
8.Straight Outta Compton
9.Black Swan
10.Silver Linings Playbook
Honorable Mentions: This is the End, Room, 22 Jump Street, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Fighter

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

The Best and Worst of Ryan Gosling

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "The Nice Guys" star Ryan Gosling.

Films starring Ryan Gosling that I've seen:
Remember the Titans
The Notebook
Fracture 
Blue Valentine
Crazy, Stupid, Love
Drive
The Ides of March
Gangster Squad
The Place Beyond the Pines
Only God Forgives
The Big Short

Best Performance: Drive (2011)
A common criticism of Gosling's acting is his inability to convey emotion. In Drive, that "flaw" proves to be a major asset. Gosling gives a cold, intense performance as a soft-spoken getaway driver who goes on a quest for vengeance after a bad heist puts the lives of him and the woman he loves (Carey Mulligan) in danger. The fact that Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Solider Spy) and winner Jean Dujardin (The Artist) got nominated for Best Actor over Gosling is a travesty.

Worst Performance: Only God Forgives (2013)
The emotionless presence that made his performance in Drive so memorable is the same reason his turn in Only God Forgives fails miserably. While the atrocious writing and weak plot certainly don't help matters, Gosling's combination of prolonged blank, confused staring into the camera with occasional bursts of cartoon-like overacting makes this performance a monumental dud in an otherwise stellar body of work. 

Best Film: Remember the Titans (2000)
Gosling's most critically-acclaimed films (Drive, Blue Valentine and The Big Short) are all excellent films with top-notch acting, directing and writing, but none of them have the immense re-watchability and lingering emotional impact of Remember the Titans. It may be in the same mold as countless other fact-based, inspirational sports dramas, but the way Remember the Titans handles themes of racial equality and unity combined with a sensational lead performance from Denzel Washington as the titular team's head coach makes it one of the genre's standout films.  

Worst Film: Only God Forgives (2013) 
Only God Forgives is the film that caused me to develop a deep hatred of Nicolas Winding Refn's writing. Refn is more concerned with shocking the audience with bursts of over-the-top graphic violence and beating them over the head with cheap romantic and religious symbolism than telling a coherent and engaging story. Refn's pretension and lack of storytelling ability makes me wish he would just stick to directing for the rest of his career.

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "X-Men: Apocalypse" star Michael Fassbender. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Tackles

30.Ryan Clady (Jets)
29.Russell Okung (Broncos)
28.King Dunlap (Chargers)
27.Morgan Moses (Redskins)
26.Derek Newton (Texans)
25.Lane Johnson (Eagles)
24.Sebastian Vollmer (Patriots)
23.Demar Dotson (Buccaneers)
22.Bryan Bulaga (Packers)
21.Marcus Gilbert (Steelers)
20.Joe Barksdale (Chargers)
19.Austin Howard (Raiders)
18.Taylor Lewan (Titans)
17.Jake Matthews (Falcons)
16.Kelvin Beachum (Jaguars)
15.Ryan Schrader (Falcons)
14.Branden Albert (Dolphins)
13.Duane Brown (Texans)
12.Mitchell Schwartz (Chiefs)
11.Donald Penn (Raiders)
10.Anthony Castonzo (Colts) 
9.Jared Veldheer (Cardinals)
8.Jason Peters (Eagles) 
7.Cordy Glenn (Bills)
6.Terron Armstead (Saints)
5.Joe Staley (49ers)
4.Trent Williams (Redskins)
3.Andrew Whitworth (Bengals)
2.Tyron Smith (Cowboys)
1.Joe Thomas (Browns)

Monday, May 16, 2016

Album Review: Drake-Views

Rapper/singer/human meme generator Drake is on top of the musical kingdom in 2016 and he's not afraid to let the world know it. His fourth LP, Views, is the work of an artist that knows what he's good at and has never been more confident in his skill set.

Fans hoping for an extension of the abrasive, faux tough-guy image he flaunted on last year's What a Time to Be Alive and Meek Mill-diss song "Back to Back" will be sorely disappointed with the direction he takes on this record. Views is Drake in full-on sad romantic mode and as far as I'm concerned, this is where he shines brightest as an artist. Drake is far more believable as the sensitive crooner making songs about lost love than the street-hardened badass he pretends to be when he's making songs with Future.

Drake's unwavering commitment to the softer side of this sound is the driving force behind the quality of Views. His laid-back flow and knack for catchy vocal melodies makes tracks like "U with Me?", "Keep the Family Close" and PartyNextDoor collab "With You" pop with subtle beauty and surprising poignancy. Even the "harder" pure hip-hop tracks headlined by "Hype" and "Weston Road Flows" feature a subtle sense of sadness that helps them align with the record's overarching themes of heartbreak and reflection on past mistakes. It may lack a true "HOLY SHIT" highlight track like Nothing Was the Same's "Tuscan Leather" or Take Care's "Crew Love", but as a whole, Views is Drake's consistent and cohesive set of songs to-date.

The quality of Views takes a pretty steep nosedive shortly after the halfway mark and like all of his records, the 81-minute runtime is excessive. Even though these issues with length and latter-half consistency prevent Views from achieving true greatness, I still have to commend Drake for the work he puts into improving as an artist with each new release he puts out. With his status as one of the biggest heavyweights in modern music solidified, he could've easily loafed through 20 songs of material and still sold a bazillion copies, but thankfully he takes his craft too seriously to go into autopilot at this juncture of his career. Unless you're looking for something truly unique or innovative, Views is an unabashed success for an artist that is only now starting to really hit his stride.  
3.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Weston Road Flows
2.U with Me?
3.Keep the Family Close

Saturday, May 14, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Tight Ends

20.Coby Fleener (Saints)
19.Jordan Cameron (Dolphins) 
18.Dwayne Allen (Colts)
17.Benjamin Watson (Ravens)
16.Kyle Rudolph (Vikings) 
15.Ladarius Green (Steelers)
14.Martellus Bennett (Patriots) 
13.Charles Clay (Bills)
12.Jason Witten (Cowboys)
11.Zach Ertz (Eagles)
10.Julius Thomas (Jaguars)
9.Gary Barnidge (Browns)
8.Antonio Gates (Chargers)
7.Tyler Eifert (Bengals)
6.Jordan Reed (Redskins)
5.Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
4.Delanie Walker (Titans)
3.Jimmy Graham (Seahawks)
2.Greg Olsen (Panthers)
1.Rob Gronkowski (Patriots)

Friday, May 13, 2016

Album Review: Death Grips-Bottomless Pit

The past several years have been a whirlwind for the psychotic, polarizing musical army otherwise known as Death Grips. Ever since they exploded following the release of The Money Store in April 2012, they've been dropped from Epic Records, announced their "disbandment" via a hand-written note on their Facebook page and become notorious for canceling and/or not showing up for shows at the last minute. Whether their erratic public behavior from fall 2012 through the end of 2014 was genuine or merely a publicity stunt to further solidify their rebellious image is up for debate, but there's no denying that the music they released during this tumultuous period was far from their best work. 2013's Government Plates and 2014's Niggas on the Moon leaned way too heavily on the electronic side of their sound and lacked the unpredictability and aggression that made their first three releases (Exmillitary, The Money Store and No Love Deep Web) so notable. Death Grips finally got out of their creative funk and put their side-show antics to rest with last year's Jenny Death. Jenny Death was by no means a classic, but it was the work of a group that had rediscovered its edge and true musical vision.

If Jenny Death was Death Grips' way of easing back into their original sound, Bottomless Pit is them reminding the world exactly why they became instant cult icons four years ago. From the thunderous drums and buzzsaw guitars of opener "Giving Bad People Good Ideas" to the lo-fi synth attack of "80808", Bottomless Pit is 39 minutes of raw, in-your-face musical insanity. Listening to the unfiltered rage and consistent sense of chaos present on tracks like "Bubbles Buried in This Jungle", "Houdini", "Spikes" and "BB Poison" conjured up the feelings of twisted joy I felt when I heard The Money Store for the first time. I had lost faith that Death Grips was ever going to make a record that connected with me ever again, but they were somehow able to turn back the clocks and return to making music that puts your ears and mind in an unrelenting chokehold. Now that they're fully back on the thumping synthesizers, spastic drums and inaudible yelling train, I sincerely hope that they never stray from making music that sounds like a speed freak's interpretation of the apocalypse ever again. Bottomless Pit is about unlikely as a comeback record as you'll possibly find in the music industry and I can say with complete certainty that this is Death Grips' finest album next to The Money Store.   

4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Bubbles Buried in This Jungle
2.Houdini
3.BB Poison

Thursday, May 12, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Wide Receivers

50.Kenny Stills (Dolphins)
49.Willie Snead (Saints)
48.Kendall Wright (Titans)
47.Mike Wallace (Ravens)
46.Markus Wheaton (Steelers)
45.Jermaine Kearse (Seahawks)
44.Rishard Matthews (Titans)
43.Danny Amendola (Patriots)
42.Anquan Boldin (Free Agent)
41.Pierre Garcon (Redskins)
40.Kamar Aiken (Ravens)
39.Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)
38.Donte Moncrief (Colts)
37.Torrey Smith (49ers)
36.Travis Benjamin (Chargers)
35.Michael Crabtree (Raiders)
34.Marvin Jones (Lions)
33.Amari Cooper (Raiders)
32.Brandin Cooks (Saints)
31.Kelvin Benjamin (Panthers)
30.Vincent Jackson (Buccaneers)
29.Michael Floyd (Cardinals)
28.John Brown (Cardinals)
27.Doug Baldwin (Seahawks)
26.Steve Smith (Ravens)
25.DeSean Jackson (Redskins)
24.Allen Hurns (Jaguars)
23.Julian Edelman (Patriots)
22.Eric Decker (Jets)
21.Mike Evans (Buccaneers)
20.Golden Tate (Lions)
19.Jarvis Landry (Dolphins)
18.Emmanuel Sanders (Broncos)
17.Allen Robinson (Jaguars)
16.Sammy Watkins (Bills)
15.Randall Cobb (Packers)
14.Jeremy Maclin (Chiefs)
13.T.Y. Hilton (Colts)
12.Keenan Allen (Chargers)
11.Demaryius Thomas (Broncos)
10.Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)
9.Jordy Nelson (Packers)
8.Alshon Jeffrey (Bears)
7.Brandon Marshall (Jets)
6.A.J. Green (Bengals)
5.Dez Bryant (Cowboys)
4.DeAndre Hopkins (Texans)
3.Odell Beckham Jr. (Giants)
2.Julio Jones (Falcons)
1.Antonio Brown (Steelers)

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Movie Review: Captain America: Civil War

My love/hate relationship with the Marvel brand is well-documented. Every time I start to get tired of their seemingly endless world building, overstuffed storylines and unwillingness to take risks with their stories, they release a film like Guardians of the Galaxy or Iron Man 3 that restores my faith in their ability to put out a quality product and reminds me of how much fun their films can be when they don't stick to their well-worn, cut-and-paste formula. Their latest film, Captain America: Civil War (aka The Avengers 2.5) has left me in a state of internal conflict. While the surprisingly dense, dark story and impressive action sequences make it worth seeing, it also serves as a frustrating reminder of how Marvel's unwillingness to deviate too much from their well-established formula is starting to really put a damper on their vast cannon of films.

(Note: Given my scattered, conflicting thoughts on this film, I've decided to deviate from my traditional review structure and present this review in a pros and cons format.)   

Pros:
-Standalone Story: The fallout from the events of Civil War will undoubtedly have a ripple effect on future films in the Marvel universe, but this film's plot is just about completely self-contained.No words can properly express how refreshing it was to watch a Marvel Studios-backed film that has a well-constructed and dense storyline instead of serving as a two-hour prequel for the next installment in the Avengers series

-Refreshingly Dark Tone: Given Marvel's tendency to sugercoat the ever-loving shit out of their movies, it was very surprising to see them release a film that contains so much bleakness and cynicism. Civil War is the first time the consequences of The Avengers' world-saving actions and their heroism has been put into question and the divide in ideology that forms between Steve "Captain America" Rodgers (Chris Evans) and Tony "Iron Man" Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) results in a surprising amount of heavy, emotional moments.  Even as the film comes to a close, there's still a sense of serious unease and questions about whether or not The Avengers will ever be seen as flawless heroes ever again. Kudos to the filmmakers (screenwriters Christopher and Stephen McMancus and directors Anthony and Joe Russo) for their willingness to enter previously uncharted territory for Marvel-produced films.
 
-Quality of action sequences: The title's a bit misleading as there were only two action sequences that really impressed me. That being said, two wildly impressive action sequences is still enough to garner praise in my book. The opening battle in Lagos, Nigeria that jump starts the conflict at the center of the story and the widely-hyped airport duel between Team Captain America and Team Iron Man are two of the most sprawling, exciting and flat-out badass action scenes to ever be staged in a superhero film. It's kind of astonishing that the Russo Brothers- who had only directed comedies before signing to direct the previous Captain America film, The Winter Solider- have developed such a strong feel for staging massive action scenes while some veteran action directors including Zach Snyder (Man of Steel) and Martin Campbell (Green Lantern) have previously failed to deliver on this huge of a stage.

-Black Panther: He may be on screen for less than 45 minutes, but god damn is Black Panther a welcome addition to the Marvel Universe. His backstory is fascinating (he's royalty from the fictional African nation of Wakanda whose father's murder leads to him becoming a vigilante) and Chadwick Boseman (42, Get on Up) flat-out crushes the role with his intense presence and visible passion for the character. I'm honestly kind of pissed that the character's solo movie won't be out until 2018.

-Spider-Man and Ant-Man: The timing of Spider-Man and Ant-Man's entrance into Civil War couldn't have been more perfect. The film was in the middle of an incredibly dull half-hour stretch until the duo of Avengers universe newcomers arrive and inject a much-needed burst of whirlwind energy and humor into the proceedings. Tom Holland puts any fears about to rest about his ability to step into the role of Spider-Man with his spot-on portrayal of the goofy, adolescent nerd Spider-Man is in the comic books and Paul Rudd is much looser and funnier in his second turn as the miniature crime fighter. For all that Marvel does wrong, I have to give them props for almost always perfectly casting their heroes.

Cons: 
Never Fully Commits to the Dark Tone: This is a prime example of Marvel watering down their films to please mass audiences. There was so much potential to take this story into a truly dark direction (MINOR SPOILER ALERT ex: kill a primary character, have a hero change sides, etc.) that would've dramatically altered the trajectory of the entire universe, but Marvel is far too consumer-conscious to make a game-changing decision like that. While there is a surprising amount of uncertainty present when the credits roll, all of the issues and unanswered questions can quickly be cleared up in the next film. Batman v. Superman had much deeper flaws than Civil War does, but at least the filmmakers fully embraced the darkness of the story and didn't feel the need to pander to the audience to keep their future box office grosses steady.

Pointless villain: Daniel Bruhl is a gifted actor and he does a solid job as primary antagonist Helmut Zemo, but I firmly believe that the character served zero purpose in this film. His motivations were understandable (although they're strangely not revealed until the last 10 minutes of the film), but with all of the internal conflict going on within The Avengers over the course of Civil War, his character seemed like merely a excuse for The Avengers to squash their beefs with each other and unify against a common enemy in the final act of the film.

The Rest of the Action Scenes: Aside from the aforementioned Lagos and airport sequences, the rest of the action scenes are pretty forgettable.The final fight between Captain America and Iron Man is particularly weak and has very low stakes for the climax of a film that features so much conflict. It would be ridiculous to expect every action scene to be of the same caliber as the Lagos and airport fights, but they also need to be more exciting and creative than the ones that populate a majority of this film.
 
Not Enough Black Panther: I'm well aware that this is a completely petty complaint, I just really wanted to see more of the character. The film was more enjoyable every moment he was on screen and I would've preferred to see more scenes involving his origins over the dumb Scarlet Witch and rehashed Bucky/Winter Solider subplots the film spends a third or so of its duration on.

Uneven Pacing: The frequent shifts between breakneck and deliberate pacing in Civil War is honestly its most crippling problem. The rapid and often inorganic changes in pace prevented the film from falling into a comfortable flow and subsequently ensured that I never became fully engrossed in the proceedings. Films that regularly teeter between exhilarating and boring are rare, but they always manage to leave me in a torn state after I'm done watching them.
 
Civil War is the strongest argument to-date as to why Marvel Studios needs to stop dictating the content of their films. If this film was made without studio interference, it very well could've been a landmark for the comic book movie genre instead of merely a solid yet completely unremarkable film. By forcing the filmmakers to adhere to a universal vision and not allowing them to interpret the source material in their own voice, the films Marvel Studios release are starting to becoming more and more one-note and stale. They may generate plenty of revenue every time they stamp their name on a film, but the days of Marvel comic book films (except the 20th Century Fox-produced X-Men and Deadpool films) consistently being grade-A blockbuster entertainment are officially over.

3.5/5 Stars   

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The Best and Worst of Colin Farrell

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "The Lobster" star Colin Farrell.

Film starring Colin Farrell that I've seen:
Minority Report
Daredevil
Phone Booth
S.W.A.T.
In Bruges
Crazy Heart
Horrible Bosses
Fright Night 
Total Recall
Seven Psychopaths

Best Performance: Seven Psychopaths (2012)
Martin McDonagh's Seven Psychopaths is one of the most twisted and absurd comedies to be released in the United States in recent memory. Amidst all the pitch-black humor and mentally-unstable characters, Farrell's Marty, a struggling screenwriter whose long in-progress script shares a title with the film, serves as a pillar of sanity. Farrell's subtle, level-headed performance does an excellent job of highlighting the off-the-rails insanity the rest of the film offers up and makes you empathize for his character as he unintentionally gets dragged into a series of dangerous and often highly illegal situations. 

Worst Performance: S.W.A.T. (2003)
When Farrell first arrived in Hollywood in the early 2000's, studios were trying really hard to make him an action star. If you're wondering why the action hero tag never gained any traction, all you have to do is watch S.W.A.T. No matter how hard this film tries to sell him as the brave, borderline indestructible SWAT Team leader, his mannequin-esque presence and awkward line delivery ensures that he's never even remotely believable in the part.

Best Film: Horrible Bosses (2011)
In the wave of breakout comedy hits of the 2010's, Horrible Bosses regularly gets unfairly glossed over. The combination of an elite ensemble cast that's collectively firing on all cylinders and a clever script that wasn't afraid to delve into dark territory made Horrible Bosses one of the most consistently laugh-out-loud comedies of this decade so far.

Worst Film: Phone Booth (2003)
Thrillers that entirely take place in one setting can work if they have quality acting and maintain a constant level of suspense (see Buried and 10 Cloverfield Lane.) Phone Booth is not one of those films. While it's not without its tense moments, the below-average acting and ridiculous resolution manage to derail the entire film.  
 
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Nice Guys" star Ryan Gosling.

Monday, May 9, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Running Backs

50.Roy Helu Jr. (Raiders)
49.Theo Riddick (Lions)
48.Isiah Crowell (Browns)
47.Matt Jones (Redskins)
46.Duke Johnson (Browns)
45.Ronnie Hillman (Broncos)
44.Shane Vereen (Giants)
43.LeGarette Blount (Patriots)
42.Karlos Williams (Bills)
41.Dion Lewis (Patriots)
40.James Starks (Packers)
39.Arian Foster (Free Agent)
38.Bilal Powell (Jets)
37.Charles Sims (Buccaneers)
36.Chris Johnson (Cardinals)
35.Tim Hightower (Saints)
34.Darren McFadden (Cowboys)
33.Darren Sproles (Eagles) 
32.Jeremy Langford (Bears)
31.Rashad Jennings (Giants)
30.Spencer Ware (Chiefs)
29.Alfred Morris (Cowboys)
28.Charcandrick West (Chiefs)
27.Carlos Hyde (49ers)
26.T.J. Yeldon (Jaguars)
25.Thomas Rawls (Seahawks)
24.Danny Woodhead (Chargers)
23.Ryan Matthews (Eagles)
22.Frank Gore (Colts)
21.Giovani Bernard (Bengals)
20.Latavius Murray (Raiders)
19.Chris Ivory (Jaguars) 
18.DeMarco Murray (Titans)
17.C.J. Anderson (Broncos)
16.DeAngelo Williams (Steelers)
15.Justin Forsett (Ravens)
14.Jonathan Stewart (Panthers)
13.David Johnson (Cardinals)
12.Lamar Miller (Texans) 
11.Jeremy Hill (Bengals)
10.Mark Ingram (Saints) 
9.Eddie Lacy (Packers)
8.Matt Forte (Jets)
7.Devonta Freeman (Falcons)
6.Todd Gurley (Rams)
5.Doug Martin (Buccaneers)
4.Jammal Charles (Chiefs)
3.LeSean McCoy (Bills)
2.Le'Veon Bell (Steelers)
1.Adrian Peterson (Vikings)

Friday, May 6, 2016

2016 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Quarterbacks

Ladies and gentleman, it's that time of the year again. To break up the monotony of the agonizingly long NFL offseason, I'll be rolling out my picks for the best players in the NFL heading into the 2016 season with my fourth annual Position Ranking Series. The series will be released in individual posts over the course of the next three or four weeks and will cover every position on offense, defense and special teams. Feel feel to post any praise or disdain for my picks in the comment section below or tweet them to me at @cmaitlandmm. Hope all of you fine people enjoy the onslaught of lists in the coming weeks!

Notes/Rules for the Position Ranking Series (copy/pasted from last year):
1.Rookies are excluded from these rankings
2.Each player is judged on where they currently stand in my opinion, not the player they once were, are going to be, etc.
3.Each player is listed as member of the team they will play for in 2016, not who they played for in 2015.

25.Teddy Bridgewater (Vikings)
24.Ryan Fitzpatrick (Jets*)
23.Tyrod Taylor (Bills)
22.Jameis Winston (Buccaneers)
21.Kirk Cousins (Redskins)
20.Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins)
19.Alex Smith (Chiefs)
18.Blake Bortles (Jaguars)
17.Matthew Stafford (Lions)
16.Derek Carr (Raiders)
15.Jay Cutler (Bears)
14.Joe Flacco (Ravens)
13.Andy Dalton (Bengals)
12.Matt Ryan (Falcons)
11.Tony Romo (Cowboys)
10.Eli Manning (Giants)
9.Carson Palmer (Cardinals)
8.Phillip Rivers (Chargers)
7.Andrew Luck (Colts)
6.Cam Newton (Panthers)
5.Russell Wilson (Seahawks)
4.Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)
3.Drew Brees (Saints)
2.Tom Brady (Patriots)
1.Aaron Rodgers (Packers)

* Hasn't officially re-signed with the Jets officially as of May 6th at 4:52 EST, but it's only matter of a time before he stops playing hardball and agrees to play for the reported $7 million a year they offered him.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Album Review: A$AP Ferg-Always Strive and Prosper

The man that was once known as the "Trap Lord" appears to be in the middle of an identity crisis. After releasing one of the finest efforts the genre has ever seen with 2013's Trap Lord, Ferg went to great lengths to deviate from his established trap mold on his wildly uneven and often contrived 2014 mixtape Ferg Forever. The jarring tonal shifts and bizarre forays into more mellow, introspective material that dragged down the quality of Ferg Forever have somehow managed to get significantly worse on his second LP Always Strive and Prosper.

Ferg's willingness to experiment with pop, conscious and electronic-influenced hip-hop is undeniably ambitious, but when all of those genres are executed this poorly, that ambition ends up being meaningless. Everything from the overwhelmingly cheesy inspirational anthem "Strive" to the "sensitive" love song "I Love You" to the five-minute ode to his late grandmother cleverly titled "Grandma" is haphazardly put together and completely disingenuous. There's not a moment on any of these tracks where Ferg seems enthused by or actually believes anything of the words coming out of his mouth. The confident, in-your-face MC that ruled a vast majority of Trap Lord is nowhere to be found as he stumbles through his verses with a hesitant delivery and no real personality on display. This entire record feels like a blatant attempt to cash in on the biggest current trends in hip-hop (Drake and J. Cole's introspective, catchy take on pop rap, Kendrick Lamar's dense storytelling, Die Antwoord's hip house style) while sacrificing the heart, well-structured songwriting and genuineness that makes the music of the artists Ferg is trying so desperately to replicate here work. 

The only time Ferg sounds natural on Always Strive and Prosper is when he goes back to his trap roots. Singles "New Level" and "Let It Bang" gave me hope that Always Strive and Prosper would mark a return to form for Ferg after the extremely inconsistent Ferg Forever. On this duo of fiery bangers, Ferg lets the wit, grit and charisma he displayed in droves on Trap Lord loose in a major way. It's abundantly clear while listening to these tracks that this is Ferg exposing his true self and having a great time on the mic. "New Level" and "Let It Bang" are textbook examples of an artist that's locked in and on the top of their game. Unfortunately, these moments of triumph are too few and far between to make up for the rest of the album's uneven and often head-scratching nature. Ferg has ample talent and an excellent ear for beats, but until he stops his current obsession with an inorganic experimentation and returns to his trap roots, his music won't be listenable.

2/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.New Level (feat. Future)
2.Let it Bang (feat. ScHoolboy Q)
3.Rebirth

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

The Best and Worst of Anthony Mackie

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "Captain America: Civil War" star Anthony Mackie.

Film starring Anthony Mackie that I've seen:
8 Mile
Million Dollar Baby
The Man
Freedomland
Eagle Eye
The Hurt Locker
Notorious 
Night Catches Us
The Adjustment Bureau
What's Your Number?
Real Steel
Man on a Ledge
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Gangster Squad
Pain & Gain
Runner Runner
Captain America: The Winter Solider
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Ant-Man
The Night Before 

Best Performance: Pain & Gain (2013)
Up to this point in his career, Mackie had showed plenty of promise as a supporting actor, he just hadn't been given a substantial-enough role to showcase the full extent of his talents. That opportunity finally came in Michael Bay's twisted satire Pain & Gain. Alongside the equally brilliant Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson, Mackie shines as a dim-witted, steroid-fueled weightlifter who aids in the kidnapping and extortion of a pompous, wealthy businessman (Tony Shaloub) who works out at the same gym as him. I sincerely hope that another opportunity arises for Mackie to play a hilarious, unhinged character like this because he's just too damn good at it.  

Worst Performance: N/A
Mackie becomes the second actor (Ironically, the other was his Triple 9 co-star Woody Harrelson) in the history of this series to not have a worst performance attached to their name. Mackie has been pretty good to downright excellent in every one of the films he's had a notable amount of screentime in and the handful of other films he's starred that don't fall under that umbrella he either wasn't in long enough to properly assess (8 Mile, What's Your Number?) or made the most out of his small role (Notorious, Real Steel). Mackie is one of the most gifted and versatile actors working today and if he continues to tackle his roles with the same level of passion and intensity he's shown throughout his first 15 years in Hollywood, he should be able to keep his perfect track record alive for the rest of his career. 

Best Film: The Hurt Locker (2009)
War films are very hit-or-miss for me. There are a fair number of classic films (Saving Private Ryan, Glory) that tell exceptional stories about heroism and bravery in the line of duty. However, I've found a lot of the recent war films (American Sniper, Act of Valor) to be more concerned with pushing a jingoist agenda than actually tackling the harsh realities of warfare and the psychological and emotional toll that it takes on the people involved. This recent wave of simplistic, lazy war films is why The Hurt Locker is such a refreshing and special film. The Hurt Locker has the courage to treat soldiers as human beings, not just faceless pawns in our government's foreign policy goals, by delving into why they chose to put their lives on the line for their country and what lasting effects combat can have on a human being without constantly ramming a political agenda down the audience's throat for two hours. We need more war films like this that tackle the human side of war and don't simply serve as mindless, masturbatory recruitment ad's for the United States Armed Forces.

Worst Film: What's Your Number? (2011)
This fucking movie man..... Aside from the completely torturous Sweet Home Alabama and Runaway Bride, I've never seen a more uninspired romantic comedy in my life than What's Your Number? This movie hits on an abundance of romcom cliches (woman awkwardly falls in front of her crush, central couple initially hates each other then falls in love after spending more time together, way too many other one's to name here) without having the clever humor or believable chemistry between the two leads (Anna Farris and Chris Evans) to offset the lack of creativity on display. Fortunately, none of the actors involved with this project had their career derailed because of it and they've collectively managed to avoid starring in films that are on this level of epic suckiness since this was released.

 Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Lobster" star Colin Farrell.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Album Review: Fallujah-Dreamless

Bay Area technical/progressive death metal acts Fallujah went from being a promising upstart band with a decent sized albeit very passionate fanbase to one of the most hyped bands in extreme metal following the release of their widely-acclaimed sophomore LP The Flesh Prevails in 2014. The pressure to follow up an almost universally beloved album like The Flesh Prevails is immense, especially when you're a young act who hasn't previously garnered this level of attention while in the process of writing new material and are dealing with a genre of music whose fans are amongst the harshest critics on the planet. Fallujah thankfully didn't let their newfound prestige go to their heads. The euphoric and triumphant Dreamless is not only a worthy follow-up to The Flesh Prevails, it's a noticeable improvement over it on both a musical and emotional level.

Dreamless takes the distinct sound they established on The Flesh Prevails and essentially injects it with the musical equivalent of performance-enhancing drugs. The death metal parts hit harder, the solos from guitarist Scott Corstairs are more frequent and technically-dazzling, and the striking, often beautiful progressive elements make up a larger portion of the album. It might lack the freshness of the dramatic sound overhaul they introduced on The Flesh Prevails, but Dreamless sees the band taking that established sound to stunning new heights.

As always with Fallujah, they are at their best when they're frequently shifting between blistering technical death metal and emotionally-dense progressive/ambient rock over the course of the same song. The full-on aural assault of "Adrenaline" is punctuated with a mellow Middle Eastern-guitar influenced outro while the intense verses of "The Void Alone", "Amber Gaze" and "Wind for Wings" are broken up by lengthy mid-sections featuring gorgeous melodies and haunting, subtle clean vocals from guest vocalists Tori Letzler and Katie Thompson. It's pretty incredible to listen to a band that veers so frequently into deeply melodic/ambient territory without losing the sinister edge and jaw-dropping technicality that makes them a death metal powerhouse. There's been a flood of young prog/tech death bands that have released records in the past 18 months that have tried to copy their unconventional approach to the genre, but they don't even come close to matching the broad, sweeping scope and deep emotional impact that Fallujah consistently achieves with their music.  

The superb musicianship, layered songwriting and intoxicating atmosphere are still the most endearing elements of the record, but to be completely honest, anyone that has listened to their material in the past has come to expect those things on each release they put out. What elevates Dreamless past the rest of their discography is the stellar production. The biggest knock on The Flesh Prevails was its compressed production that made the entire record sound mechanical and forced all of the instruments to bleed into one another for the duration of the record. On Dreamless, every layer is given the proper space to breathe and it leads to all of the band's strengths reaching a new level of effectiveness. The well-balanced production highlights the power of each haunting melody, punchy riff, tortured scream, etc. they lay down in each song and ensures that all five members of the band get their respective times in the spotlight. Hopefully the band will continue to have production that matches or surpasses the crispness of Dreamless on their future releases.

Dreamless is the record I knew was Fallujah was capable of making since I first heard The Harvest Wombs in early 2012. The growth they continue to show as musicians and songwriters with each new release they put out is simply staggering and during a period of time where metal bands are releasing thoroughly underwhelming records at a seemingly record clip, it's a delight to experience a album that manages to get better each time you listen to it. Fallujah is inching closer to putting out a transcendent release and if they can continue to progress at their current rate, I wouldn't be shocked if their next release was a game-changing masterpiece that sent a lasting ripple effect throughout the entire metal community.  

4.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Adrenaline
2.The Void Alone
3.Amber Gaze

Monday, May 2, 2016

Movie Review: Keanu

The unique zaniness that Keegan Michael-Key and Jordan Peele brought to the small screen for five seasons with their brilliant Comedy Central sketch comedy show Key & Peele has successfully transferred to the big screen. Keanu, the cult-favorite comedy duo's first foray into the world of cinema, essentially just takes the pair's infectious chemistry and relentlessly clever humor that made their show such a success and brings onto a larger scale.

At its core, Keanu is a film about the astonishing lengths a man (Peele) will go to get his beloved cat back. This story of a unique, special bond between a human being and their pet just happens to be told in the format of a flat-out insane, over-the-top action comedy. Director Pete Atencio-who was the go-to director on Key & Peele-does a phenomenal job of establishing a loose tone and blistering pace that's reminiscent of 90's buddy action comedies such as Bad Boys and Rush Hour. Like the aforementioned films, Keanu also does an excellent job of balancing manic, clever humor with a handful of impressive, huge action scenes. Given how well-choreographed and shot the film's shootouts and car chases are, Atencio proves here that his talents as a director stretch far out of the comedy realm. The absurdity of the premise (two nerdy cousins posing as hardened drug dealers to get the titular cat back from the gang that kidnapped him) and occasionally pitch-black humor will alienate some mainstream comedy audiences, but for those who aren't turned off by either of those things, Keanu is a consistently hilarious and wildly entertaining ride that proves Key and Peele should be able to sustain long, successful careers in Hollywood.

4/5 Stars

Sunday, May 1, 2016

2016 NFL Draft Recap

The 2016 NFL Draft officially came to a close last night after three thoroughly unpredictable days. Now that the chaos of the draft has subsided, here are my picks for which teams made the biggest splash and who missed the mark, the biggest reaches and steals and potential sleepers and busts.

Biggest Winners: Jacksonville Jaguars
After watching his team's offense headlined by 2014 draft picks quarterback Blake Bortles and wide receiver Allen Robinson explode in 2015, general manager Dave Caldwell knew his team needed to get stronger on defense in this draft and he delivered with a draft haul that is pretty much flawless on paper. The Jaguars pulled off a task that would've seemed impossible a week ago by landing two of the draft's most decorated prospects in cornerback Jalen Ramsey and linebacker Myles Jack-who fell out of the first round due to concerns about how his knee will hold up long-term-with their first two picks in the draft. Ramsey and Jack are both freakishly athletic, dynamic players that give the Jaguars some much-needed help at positions that were major weaknesses for them a season ago. In addition to Ramsey and Jack, the Jaguars acquired a pair of pass-rushing specialists in defensive end Yannick Ngakoue and defensive tackle Sheldon Day that should be able to come in and contribute in sub packages right away. Caldwell has drafted consistently well since he took over as the Jaguars GM in 2013 and 2016 could very well prove to be his finest work to-date. 
Honorable Mentions: Buffalo Bills, Seattle Seahawks, Baltimore Ravens

Biggest Losers: Houston Texans
With the Jaguars plethora of young talent and the prospect of a healthy Andrew Luck returning to the Colts in 2016, the Texans are clearly panicking that they're going to fall behind in the AFC South hierarchy and it showed with their series of ill-advised draft selections. They used two of their first three draft picks on wide receivers in Will Fuller and Braxton Miller that have plenty of speed and athleticism, but limited experience running routes that aren't 20-25 yards downfield and terrible hands and their day three picks-with the exception of West Virginia safety K.J. Dillon-were all major reaches. This weak draft class paired with their head-scratching free agency moves gives me little faith that the Texans will be returning to the playoffs in 2016.
Dishonorable Mentions: Miami Dolphins, Atlanta Falcons, Detroit Lions

Biggest Steal: Noah Spence, defensive end/outside linebacker (Round 2, 39th overall, Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
It's amazing what past off-the-field issues will due to a player's draft stock. Despite not having a single failed drug test since he was dismissed from Ohio State in 2014 after testing positive for MDMA twice and impressing scouts with his transparency in pre-draft interviews, the highly talented Spence somehow managed to slip into the second round. With his power and burst off the edge, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Spence turned out to be the most productive pass rusher in this draft class. 
Honorable Mentions: Myles Jack, inside/outside linebacker (Round 2, 36th overall, Jacksonville Jaguars), Reggie Ragland, inside linebacker (Round 2, 41st overall, Buffalo Bills), Devonate Booker, running back (Round 4, 121st overall, Denver Broncos) 

Biggest Reach: Eli Apple, cornerback (Round 1, 10th overall, New York Giants)
After the Bears traded up to get Leonard Floyd at number nine overall and all of the top tackle prospects that weren't videotaped proudly ripping a bong were off-the board, Giants general manager Jerry Reese was clearly beside himself with what to do with the 10th overall pick. Instead of trading down or addressing a position that they hadn't just committed $62 million to in the offseason, Reese pulled the trigger on Ohio State corner Eli Apple. Not only did the Giants not need to draft a corner that high with Janoris Jenkins and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie locked in as starters, Apple is without question one of the rawest cornerbacks in the entire 2016 draft class. Apple's over-reliance on using his hands to slow down receivers, terrible footwork and tendency to get burned by any receiver that's a remotely savvy route runner ensures that he's a long way away from seeing a lot of reps in the pros and if the Giants continue to underwhelm, this current regime won't even get the opportunity to develop him themselves.
Honorable Mentions: Keanu Neal, safety (Round 1, 17th overall, Atlanta Falcons), Will Fuller, wide receiver (Round 1, 21st overall, Houston Texans), Leonard Floyd (Round 1, 9th overall, Chicago Bears)

10 Biggest Potential Sleepers:
1.Alex Collins, running back (Round 5, 171st overall, Seattle Seahawks)
2.Pharoh Cooper, wide receiver (Round 4, 117th overall, Los Angeles Rams)
3.Jerrell Adams, tight end (Round 6, 184th overall, New York Giants)
4.Kentrell Brothers, inside/outside linebacker (Round 5, 160th overall, Minnesota Vikings)
5.Sheldon Day, defensive tackle (Round 4, 103rd overall, Jacksonville Jaguars)
6.Hassan Ridgeway, defensive tackle (Round 4, 116th overall, Indianapolis Colts)
7.Joshua Perry, inside linebacker (Round 4, 102nd overall, San Diego Chargers)
8.Deon Bush, safety (Round 4, 124th overall, Chicago Bears)
9.Kolby Listenbee, wide receiver (Round 6, 192nd overall, Buffalo Bills)
10.Scooby Wright III, inside linebacker (Round 7, 250th overall, Cleveland Browns)

10 Biggest Potential Busts:
1.Eli Apple, cornerback (Round 1, 10th overall, New York Giants)
2.Will Fuller, wide receiver (Round 1, 21st overall, Houston Texans)
3.Keanu Neal, safety (Round 1, 17th overall, Atlanta Falcons)
4.Robert Nkemdiche, defensive tackle (Round 1, 29th overall, Arizona Cardinals)
5.A'Shawn Robinson, defensive tackle (Round 2, 42nd overall, Detroit Lions)
6.Josh Doctson, wide receiver (Round 1, 22nd overall, Washington Redskins)
7.Xavien Howard, cornerback (Round 2, 38th overall, Miami Dolphins)
8.Austin Johnson, defensive tackle (Round 2, 42nd overall, Tennessee Titans)
9.Jihad Ward, defensive end/outside linebacker (Round 2, 44th overall, Oakland Raiders)
10.Christian Hackenberg, quarterback (Round 2, 51st overall, New York Jets)

Draft Grades by Team: (team-by-team draft classes can be found here: http://www.nfl.com/draft/2016/tracker#dt-tabs:dt-by-team)
Arizona Cardinals: B-
Atlanta Falcons: C-
Baltimore Ravens: A-
Buffalo Bills: A-
Carolina Panthers: C+
Chicago Bears: B+
Cincinnati Bengals: B+
Cleveland Browns: B
Dallas Cowboys: B
Denver Broncos: B+
Detroit Lions: C
Green Bay Packers: B
Houston Texans: D+
Indianapolis Colts: B+
Kansas City Chiefs: B
Jacksonville Jaguars: A+
Los Angeles Rams: B+
Miami Dolphins: C-
Minnesota Vikings: B
New England Patriots: B+
New Orleans Saints: A-
New York Giants: B+
New York Jets: B-
Oakland Raiders: B
Philadelphia Eagles: C+
Pittsburgh Steelers: B
San Diego Chargers: B+
San Francisco 49ers: B
Seattle Seahawks: A
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: B+
Tennessee Titans: B
Washington Redskins: A-