2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Guards

()=2025 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

30.(+) Austin Corbett (Bills)

29.(13) Teven Jenkins (Browns)

28.(12) Alijah Vera-Tucker (Patriots)

27.(10) Robert Hunt (Panthers)

26.(27) Ezra Cleveland (Jaguars)

25.(+) Tate Ratledge (Lions)

24.(+) Tyler Steen (Eagles)

23.(+) Mason McCormick (Steelers)

22.(+) Tyler Booker (Cowboys)

21.(28) Matthew Bergeron (Falcons)

20.(+) Dalton Risner (Bengals)

19.(3) Kevin Zeitler (Free Agent)

18.(+) Ed Ingram (Texans)

17.(+) David Edwards (Saints)

16.(11) Dominick Puni (49ers)

15.(26) Jonah Jackson (Bears)

14.(8) Landon Dickerson (Eagles)

13.(+) Steve Avila (Rams)

12.(9) Tyler Smith (Cowboys)

11.(18) Damien Lewis (Panthers)

10.(+) Peter Skoronski (Titans)

9.(16) Sam Cosmi (Commanders)

8.(7) Trey Smith (Chiefs)

7.(14) Isaac Seumalo (Cardinals)

6.(17) Mike Onwenu (Patriots)

5.(6) Kevin Dotson (Rams)

4.(4) Joe Thuney (Bears)

3.(2) Quenton Nelson (Colts)

2.(5) Quinn Meinerz (Broncos)

1.(1) Chris Lindstrom (Falcons)

Kumail Nanjiani Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Kumail Nanjiani-whose latest project "The Breadwinner" releases in theaters today. 

Kumail Nanjiani's Filmography Ranked:

16.Ella McCay (C-)

15.Sex Tape (C)

14.Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (C)

13.Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (C)

12.Fist Fight (C)

11.Driver's Ed (C)

10.Migration (C+)

9.Men in Black: International (B-)

8.The Lego Ninjago Movie (B-)

7.Goosebumps (B-)

6.The Lovebirds (B)

5.Stuber (B)

4.The Kings of Summer (B+)

3.Eternals (B+)

2.Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (B+)

1.The Big Sick (B+)

Top Dog: The Big Sick (2017)

What has made Nanjiani's film career such a letdown to this point is that he proved with The Big Sick that he's capable of greatness when working with the right material. This hilarious and heartfelt romantic dramedy that was inspired by the early days of Nanjiani's relationship with his wife Emily Gordon is one of those movies that's just really easy to like. The candor that Nanjiani and Gordon-who co-wrote the Oscar-nominated script together-display in portraying the uniquely difficult conditions in which their love was born under allows every single note this film hits to feel completely honest. Despite all of the missteps he's taken over the past 7-8 years, I do believe that Nanjiani is capable of making another project that matches the wit and emotional resonance that's on display here.

Bottom Feeder: Ella McCay (2025)

When the calendar flipped to 2000, James L. Brooks just completely lost sight of the beautifully calibrated mix of comedy, drama and romance that made his movies such a treat to watch. Ella McCay-which marks his first features since 2010's How Do You Know-is the latest sign that Brooks is completely washed. The only thing more insane than Brooks' reliance on the type of Obama-era respectability politics that have long exited our government to tell this story of the lieutenant governor (Emma Mackey) of an unnamed state (spoiler alert: it's Rhode Island!) as she's preparing to be promoted after the beloved governor (Albert Brooks) steps down from his post to accept a presidential cabinet position are the subplots involving her reclusive online bookie brother (Spike Fern) trying to win back his ex-girlfriend (Ayo Edebiri), absentee womanizer father (Woody Harrelson) suddenly showing up to make amends after disappearing for over a decade following her mother's (Rebecca Hall) death and jealous idiot husband (Jack Lowden, in one of the worst performances of the decade) jeopardizing her political future for reasons that you really need to see to believe. Mackey deserves a ton of credit for being charming as hell and committing to selling the various bits of emotional turmoil McCay has to deal with in the midst of the biggest moment of her career, but everything else is so messy and absurd that her valiant effort can't be fully appreciated.  

Most Underrated: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)

Earlier this year, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates spent a couple of weeks on Top 10 most watched movie charts on Netflix in the US and I legitimately felt like it was some weird form of vindication for the longstanding love I have for this stupid fucking movie. Being a Mike and Dave fan over the past decade has been a very lonely place and for a fleeting moment, I felt the embrace of a community. I'd like to thank the hundreds, possibly thousands of people across the country who passively consumed that film during that small window of time for making me feel less alone for a fleeting moment. Anyways, I think this is one of the funniest movies released during the 2010's and fully intend on rewatching it in honor of its 10th anniversary in July. 

Most Overrated: None

Nanjiani making a career out of appearing in studio comedies that weren't well-liked, innocuous animated movies and blockbusters that got lukewarm at best receptions has made him exempt from this category. The Big Sick is the only film from the above list that could even meet the criteria of being overrated, which is kind of crazy for a guy that's been regularly acting in movies for over a decade now. Based on how his 2026 projects have been received so far, it could be a while longer before he shows up in something that could be considered for placement here. 

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Tackles

()=2025 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

30.(+) Kelvin Banks Jr. (Saints)

29.(25) Joe Alt (Chargers)

28.(+) Roger Rosengarten (Ravens)

27.(+) Abraham Lucas (Seahawks)

26.(29) Luke Goedeke (Buccaneers)

25.(+) Spencer Brown (Bills)

24.(11) Kolton Miller (Raiders)

23.(18) Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)

22.(19) Dion Dawkins (Bills)

21.(20) Charles Cross (Seahawks)

20.(23) Paris Johnson Jr. (Cardinals)

19.(28) Mike McGlinchey (Broncos)

18.(5) Rashawn Slater (Chargers)

17.(+) Colton McKivitz (49ers)

16.(24) Darnell Wright (Bears)

15.(7) Christian Darrisaw (Vikings)

14.(13) Jake Matthews (Falcons)

13.(16) Taylor Moton (Panthers)

12.(21) Alaric Jackson (Rams)

11.(12) Bernhard Raimann (Colts)

10.(3) Lane Johnson (Eagles)

9.(9) Laremy Tunsil (Commanders)

8.(10) Brian O'Neill (Vikings)

7.(8) Zach Tom (Packers)

6.(22) Andrew Thomas (Giants)

5.(14) Garett Bolles (Broncos)

4.(1) Jordan Mailata (Eagles)

3.(6) Tristan Wirfs (Buccaneers)

2.(4) Trent Williams (49ers)

1.(2) Penei Sewell (Lions)

Movie Review: I Love Boosters

 

Nearly 8 years ago, I penned one of the most scathing reviews I've ever written about Boots Riley's debut feature Sorry to Bother You. Riley has returned to the world of movies after trying his hand at television with 2023's I'm a Virgo with another absurdist social sci-fi satire in I Love Boosters. Has all of this time away from Riley's creative output caused me to warm up to his brand of hyperactive maximalism? Nope, but the vitriol that I have for Sorry to Bother You (mostly) didn't carry over to I Love Boosters. 

The working-class subculture Riley uses as the jumping off point for his wacky shenanigans this time around is "boosting", which is the practice of shoplifting clothes and selling them on the street at a discounted price. The boosters we follow here are a trio of Oakland women known as "The Velvet Gang" (Keke Palmer, Naomi Ackie, Taylour Paige) who go around the Bay Area in elaborate disguises stealing from luxury stores. They view it as a service for their community and have become kind of folk heroes to people who otherwise would never be able to afford to buy designer brand merchandise. Things get trickier for The Velvet Gang when they draw the ire of luxury fashion titan Christie Smith (Demi Moore) and she ups the security at all of her stores, which causes The Velvet Gang to get jobs at one of her stores to make ends meet while they plot how to steal merchandise from the inside without getting caught. The Velvet Gang's plan to lay low for a bit gets blown up pretty quickly when they discover that Smith stole a dress design that Corvette (Palmer) submitted to a contest a year earlier. As payback for Smith's artistic theft, The Velvet Gang draw up a plan to clear out the inventory of every single store Smith owns in the Bay Area. Their simple revenge plan becomes a lot more complicated when they cross paths with a Chinese factory worker (Poppy Liu) who has her own bone to pick with Smith and a co-worker (Eiza Gonzalez) who wants to unionize their store to fight back against the policies that have severely restricted their break time, vacation time and paychecks. 

At a time where income inequality and corporate exploitation of workers are even more prevalent than they were when Sorry to Bother You was released in July 2018, shitting on a movie that tackles these issues head-on feels kind of wrong. However, Riley having good politics doesn't make him a good filmmaker. His approach to sociopolitical commentary remains referencing a couple of dozen issues over the course of a movie then failing to meaningfully explore any of them. It's like he's gearing up to teach a class on the intersection of class, race, worker's rights and the fashion industry, but can't get past the introductory blub that he wrote for each section on the syllabus. There are some coherent points about the importance of collectivism, discovering that so many struggles around the world are interconnected and the fashion industry's common practice of stealing ideas from smaller designers (especially black and brown ones) then trying to pass them off as their own, but they ultimately get snuffed out by the plethora of other less developed ideas Riley bats around here that are all fighting each other for oxygen. Being conscience of and empathetic towards the struggles working class people are facing at the hands of corporations shows that Riley has genuine class consciousness. However, his solidarity doesn't excuse how his lack of focus in addressing these topics eliminates any chance he has of saying anything about the plight of the working people of the world that boasts much substance. 

Once again, Riley's Jackson Pollock approach to social/political commentary isn't in the pole position of my gripes with his filmmaking style. That title would go to his use of comedy. Absurdist satire is what he felt was the best vessel for the stories he's trying to tell. It's a choice that makes sense given all of the loopy turns his narrative takes and eccentric people that populate his stories. In practice, it becomes a brutal miscalculation as Riley just has zero feel for comedy. His approach to absurdist humor is weirdly noncommittal as he refuses to lean into the zaniness of the situations that he puts his characters in or counteract it with deadpan deliveries. What makes the jokes consistently falling flat particularly head-scratching is that Riley has a cast full of actors (Palmer, Ackie, Paige, Liu, Gonzalez, LaKeith Stanfield, Will Poulter, Don Cheadle, several people who make surprise cameos here) who have experience thriving with comedy at his disposal and yet, his punchlines are still getting met with far more crickets than guffaws. Comedic instincts are something that are something that can't be taught and Riley has proven that he simply doesn't have them. 

Where I Love Boosters does separate itself from Sorry to Bother You is in the art departments. Neon gave Riley a $20 mil budget- which is over 6 times higher than what he made Sorry to Bother You for- to make this and that significantly larger pool of money to play with can be seen on screen. Riley set out to make something with a vibrant aesthetic, and it shows in the explosively colorful production design, costumes and cinematography that allow every frame of the film to really pop visually. He even went as far as to find ways to work stop motion and miniatures into the big final act setpieces. Riley's visual sensibilities and creativity are leaps ahead of the rest of his filmmaking bag (which isn't surprising given his previous experience with music video direction) and I honestly think that his best path forward as a filmmaker is to make something that is driven by these qualities instead of a narrative. 

Despite my feelings towards I Love Boosters and Riley's work, I hope that he'll be able to keep putting stuff out in the future. While the grim financial realities of indie filmmaking in the 2020's aren't lost on me, this sector will start to march towards extinction if the industry refuses to back singular cinematic voices with passionate fanbases once they make one movie that doesn't do well at the box office relative to its budget. Most movies are a big roll of the financial dice and the fact that many people in the business seem to have lost sight of that is pretty fucking alarming. Time will tell if Riley can become the next Ari Aster and come out of multiple financial misfires in a row professionally unscathed, but I sure as shit wouldn't bet on that happening.  

Movie Review: Passenger

There may not have been a worse spot on the entire summer slate to release Passenger than this past weekend. Granted, a supernatural horror movie that heavily relies on the loud jump scare trope to provide jolts and boasts an inherently silly story about a demonic entity known as "The Passenger" (Joseph Lopez) who latches onto a young couple (Lou Llobell, Jacob Scipio) living out of their van after they had the audacity to pull over on the open road at night to offer assistance to someone (Miles Fowler) they witnessed get into a car accident wouldn't have been met with widespread praise if it had been slotted elsewhere on the calendar, but sandwiching it between the WOM-powered phenomenon that is Obsession and the buzzy feature adaptation of YouTube series Backrooms-which has drawn favorable early reactions from the critics who've seen it over the past couple of weeks and is pacing to obliterate the record for the biggest opening weekend in A24's history that's currently held by Civil War ($25.7 mil)- is inevitably going to maximize the scrutiny it receives. 

While I certainly understand where the detractors of Passenger are coming from, I will not be joining their disgruntled chrous as I walked out of the theater having had a good time with it. Seasoned horror filmmaker André Øvredal (The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark) punches up the predictable scare punchlines with some tense setpieces that are full of excellent camerawork that invoke the feeling of being completely disoriented from traveling nonstop (an extended sequence in the second act where Llobell's character is trying to find their van in a strip mall parking lot does a particularly good job of capturing this), there's a lingering atmosphere of dread present as the main characters navigate vast wide open spaces with the blind hope that they'll stumble upon a place that can provide them with some sort of safety from this serious supernatural threat and the lore surrounding "The Passenger" is made simple enough where it doesn't bog down the pacing of this efficient 94-minute ride with bloated exposition. Surrendering to the ridiculous baggage that Passenger is carrying with it is easy to do when it mostly succeeds in its primary goal of finding ways to be spooky. Part of the beauty of horror movies is that there's space for all sorts of different projects within it and in a month where the genre has commanded so much of the theatrical spotlight, I'm thrilled that flawed but entertaining studio horror flicks that will largely be forgotten within a few years of their release got some representation. 

Grade: B
 

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Tight Ends

()=2025 Ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

25.(11) Isaiah Likely (Giants)

24.(12) Mike Gesicki (Bengals)

23.(14) Pat Freiermuth (Steelers)

22.(4) Mark Andrews (Ravens)

21(+) .Oronde Gasden II (Chargers)

20.(+) Harold Fannin Jr. (Browns)

19.(+) Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

18.(7) T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

17.(8) Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

16.(+) Brenton Strange (Jaguars)

15.(+) A.J. Barner (Seahawks)

14.(+) Colby Parkinson (Rams)

13.(+) Tyler Warren (Colts)

12.(+) Juwan Johnson (Saints)

11.(20) Dalton Schultz (Texans)

10.(5) Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

9.(+) Colston Loveland (Bears)

8.(10) Tucker Kraft (Packers)

7.(16) Dalton Kincaid (Bills)

6.(13) Hunter Henry (Patriots)

5.(+) Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

4.(3) Brock Bowers (Raiders)

3.(6) Sam LaPorta (Lions)

2.(1) George Kittle (49ers)

1.(2) Trey McBride (Cardinals)

Movie Review: In the Grey

If Operation Fortune and The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare was Guy Ritchie relaxing with a beachside margarita, In the Grey is him doing bumps in a bathroom stall before giving the keynote address at some exotic business conference. Through a frantic string of monologues that detail schemes, contingences and the supplies needed to make them happen, Ritchie manages to make a movie about a lawyer (Eiza Gonzalez) and the team of shooters and saboteurs led by Henry Cavil and Jake Gyllenhaal she uses to extract debt from unsavory delinquent clients embarking on a very tough job where their target is a powerful crime lord (Carlos Bardem) who resides on a remote island where he controls damn near everything far more of a chore to follow than it should be. Gonzalez, Cavil and Gyllenhaal-who have all worked with Ritchie on other projects recently-know how to dispense the quips Ritchie chucked at them three minutes before the cameras rolled with enough deadpan swagger to make them convincing, but these zingers being delivered effectively doesn't mean all that much when they mainly serve as a way to break up the all of the breathless musings that are driving the plot. The arrival of shootouts, chases and huge explosions in the final act feels strangely tranquil as it forces the characters to practice brevity when they speak and mercifully allows the brainless macho shit that Ritchie has become particularly fond of doing in recent years to become the star of the show. Once this big extended action setpiece wraps up, there's about 5 more minutes of narrative housekeeping to be done and the credits start rolling. Ending things on such an efficient, high octane note made the sometimes-grating nature of the first 2/3 of the film easier to swallow and powered In the Grey into the respectably decent territory that Ritchie has often found himself since he turned into a machine that refuses to take time off post-Wrath of Man.

Grade: B-
 

Melissa Leo Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Melissa Leo-whose latest project "Passenger" opens in theaters on Thursday. 

Melissa Leo's Filmography Ranked:

19.Mr. Woodcock (D+)

18.King Ivory (C-)

17.Righteous Kill (C)

16.Guns Up (C)

15.The Equalizer 2 (C)

14.Red State (C)

13.Thunder Force (C+)

12.London Has Fallen (B-)

11.Charlie Countryman (B-)

10.The Equalizer 3 (B-)

9.The Equalizer (B-)

8.Olympus Has Fallen (B-)

7.Frozen River (B-)

6.Oblivion (B)

5.Snowden (B)

4.Flight (B+)

3.The Big Short (B+)

2.Prisoners (B+)

1.The Fighter (A)

Top Dog: The Fighter (2010)

The Fighter very much fits into the mold of a classic fact-based underdog sports drama as it details professional boxer "Irish" Micky Ward (Mark Wahlberg)'s efforts to mount a comeback after a tumultuous string of events in and outside of the ring put his career on hold for a bit during the mid 90's. What elevates The Fighter beyond its familiar story/structure are some outstanding performances from its entire main cast (Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Leo are alongside Wahlberg at the top of the call sheet), compelling family drama and rousing boxing sequences that sell just how hard Ward had to work to get back into top form. 

Bottom Feeder: Mr. Woodcock (2007)

Craig Gillespie has gone onto have a nice career that's best defined by his genre versatility and ability to make the most out of whatever sized budget he has to work with. Gillespie's longevity in this unforgiving industry is made even more impressive by the fact that his directorial debut was the universally loathed comedy Mr. Woodcock. While the premise of a self-help author (Seann William Scott) returning to his Nebraska hometown to discover that his widowed mother (Susan Sarandon) is dating the gym teacher (Billy Bob Thornton) that tormented him as a kid isn't bad on paper, the bits that are mined from it are consistently groanworthy and all of the actors involved seem to be acutely aware that they're in a comedy that isn't working and basically just stoically read their lines until they're able to fuck off and enjoy the money they earned from the gig. 

Most Underrated: None

After a few minutes of internal debate, I couldn't justify picking any of Leo's films here. None of the under-the-radar films she's appeared in over the years are titles that I would go to bat for and all of the movies of hers that I really like (The Fighter, Prisoners, The Big Short, Flight) have their fair share of fans. A veteran Oscar-winning character actor getting the abstain treatment here is a real shock to me, and I'd be surprised if this phenomenon occurred again anytime soon.

Most Overrated: The Equalizer (2014)

This is pretty widely considered to be one of the best action movies of the 2010's. Personally, I don't even think that it's the best action vehicle that Denzel Washington and Antonie Fuqua made together during that decade. There are a couple of excellent elements to The Equalizer as Washington is in top form as the meticulous, even-keeled killing machine Robert McCall and the action beats deliver some unflinchingly brutality that makes them standout from their peers. Everything else surrounding these key pillars is pretty suspect as the pacing is pretty sluggish when the bodies aren't dropping, the script's efforts to build up McCall as something other than a highly skilled killer who thought his days of wielding a gun were over are pretty half-hearted and Marton Csokas is completely asleep at the wheel as the film's Russian mobster antagonist. Part of me wants to give this another whirl since it's so well-liked, but my similarly lukewarm thoughts on the sequels that were far from hated by audiences will continue to give me pause. 

Movie Review: Is God Is

Great movies slipping through the cracks of the Hollywood machine is something that's happened throughout my lifetime and almost certainly predates 1992. What makes this occurrence all the more tragic in the present day is that the video store/pay cable ecosystem that used to elevate the profile of titles that were ignored in theaters has been gutted and the odds of something breaking out on streaming are similar to those of winning the Powerball jackpot. With this in mind, I'm going to use my tiny platform to bang the drum for Alesha Harris' incendiary revenge thriller Is God Is-which was quietly released into 1,510 theaters this past weekend and never stood a chance of finding a sizable audience during such a busy stretch of the calendar. 

The revenge plot of Is God Is revolves around twin sisters Racine (Kara Young) and Anaia (Mallori Johnson) who are summoned to their estranged mother's (Vivica A. Fox) home as she lies on her deathbed with simple instructions: Track down their abusive father (Sterling K. Brown) and kill him as payback for setting the three of them on fire before he walked out on the family roughly 20 years prior. After some initial reluctance to honor their mother's dying wish, the twins hit the road and attempt to locate their father by meeting with some other people that he was associated with in the years immediately following the incident (Erika Alexander, Mykelti Williamson). Eventually, they discover that he lives in a big house with a new wife (Janelle Monae) and twin sons (Xavier Mills, Justen Ross) and have to grapple with the high price that needs to be paid if they follow through on their plans to murder him. 

What makes Is God Is such a distinct take on the revenge story is that it never shies away from the messy reality of the situation Racine and Anaia find themselves in. Their father may be a serial abuser who has zero remorse and endless justifications for his actions (Brown does a stellar job of infusing the character with the kind of coldly menacing monster energy that can be found in terrifying abundance in our world), but this mission reveals a darkness in them that they never had to confront before and the blood that ends up on their hands as a result of them going down this violent path will stick with them for the rest of their days. The thing about being a child of an abuser that nobody wants to discuss is that those monstrous qualities are also in your DNA. Those traits may manifest in different ways, but that evil exists within them and there's no running away from it no matter how hard they try. Being unafraid to grapple with the thorniness of this paradox is an act of unflinching honesty and the weight of this painful truth informs the dynamic shift that occurs as the film progresses. Having a bond that was strengthened by love and being there for each other in the face of decades of facing trauma together be challenged by being in a situation where they're the ones inflicting pain that's similar to what they've faced onto others brings forth an unfathomable ugliness and how Young and Johnson navigate the moral complexity of going from being victims of violence to the ones carrying it out is the most impressive aspect of their powerhouse performances that ask them to run through an intense emotional gauntlet from start to finish. 

Remarkably, Is God Is originated as a stage production that was also written and directed by Harris. This story is so inherently cinematic in scope, look and feel that it's hard to conceive it being mounted in the confined space of a live theater. What makes the fluidity of its transition from stage to film even more impressive is that Harris had never worked as a writer or director on screen prior to this. Jumping into a new medium with such a strong overall clarity of vision-particularly once that is as emotionally and thematically dense as this-is a rare trait that speaks to how gifted Harris is as an artist. I don't know if Harris has any interest in making another film or quite frankly, will be able to secure the funding to do so given how little noise Is God Is is going to end up making at the box office (it'll be lucky to clear $5 mil domestic by the end of its run), but I'd run to watch any feature she was involved with in the future.  

Grade: A-
 

Andy Ritcher Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Andy Richter-whose latest project "Obsession" is in theaters today. 

Andy Richter's Filmography Ranked:

13.My Boss's Daughter (D)

12.Dr. Dolittle 2 (C-)

11.Big Trouble (C)

10.80 for Brady (C)

9.Semi-Pro (C+)

8.Scary Movie 2 (C+)

7.Madagascar (B-)

6.Blades of Glory (B-)

5.Elf (B)

4.Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (B+)

3.Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (B+)

2.Obsession (A-)

1.Pootie Tang (A)

Top Dog: Pootie Tang (2001)

Sine your pitty on the runny kine! Sepatown! Sadatay! Wahdahtah! These are the wise, immortal words of the legend known as Pootie Tang. The impact he's made through his work as a philanthropist, musician and crime fighter will never be properly measured and the world would be a much better place if there more people like Mr. Tang in it. 

Bottom Feeder: My Boss's Daughter (2003)

One of the most unsung staples of the 2000's were comedy movies that came out during the winter or late summer that just completely ate shit in their pursuit of laughs. My Boss's Daughter very well could be my personal favorite example of this long forgotten breed of movie as it's basically a series of loosely connected bits with a romantic subplot where absolutely nothing works. What make this misfire particularly disheartening is that was it directed by comedy legend David Zucker. How the guy behind Airplane!, The Naked Gun and Top Secret! managed to make something so brutally unfunny is one of those mysteries that will never produce an answer that makes any sense. 

Most Underrated: Pootie Tang (2001)

Blaxploitation spoof Pootie Tang is about as niche as comedy gets and its status as a minor cult classic among the people that stumbled upon it on home video or VOD following its disastrous theatrical run in the summer of 2001 proves that. I'm proud to be part of this small group that will champion this movie whenever the opportunity arises. There are honestly only about 15-20 movies that I've ever seen that have me laugh harder than Pootie Tang and one scene in particular is a surefire bet to make me cackle to the point where tears are streaming out of my eyes every single time I see it. Even in the far wackier creative climate of the early 2000's, it's hard to believe that a movie like this was able to secure funding from a major studio and I'd like to thank whoever at Paramount was responsible for greenlighting this for allowing a genuine miracle to happen on Earth. 

Most Overrated: Madagascar (2005)

Admittedly, including Madagascar here is kind of a stretch as it's not aspiring to be much more than a goofy movie for kids and it does a perfectly fine job of delivering on that front. However, it's pretty widely considered to be a classic in the 2000's animation space, and I just think it's too minor of a movie to have such high praise placed upon it.  

Some Thoughts on Obsession Since I Didn't Review It After I Saw It in March:

Does the horror genre have its next ascending star filmmaker in Curry Barker? Time will tell, but Obsession is a mighty promising sign that the 26-year-old that started out making sketch comedy videos on YouTube with his longtime creative partner Cooper Tomlinson-who also appears here in a key supporting role-under the name that's a bad idea is well on his way to becoming one of the genre's most exciting filmmakers. His first feature to play on the big screen (his 2024 feature debut Milk & Serial is available on YouTube) is a really well-constructed piece of work that does wonders with its simple premise revolving around an awkward "nice" guy's (Michael Johnston) wish for their longtime unrequited crush (Inde Navarrette) to fall in love with him going horribly wrong. Barker does an incredible job of walking a tonal tightrope that frequently switches between dark/cringe comedy and hardcore horror throughout while Johnston and Navarrette deeply commit to making this forced relationship feel nauseatingly uncomfortable from the very moment the wish is granted until it reaches its inevitable horrific conclusion. The story goes to some very twisted places (there are three scenes in particular that caused the sold-out festival crowd that I saw it with to go fucking bonkers) so I'd urge horror fans to check this out as soon as possible before the spoilers are shouted all over the internet rooftops. 

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Wide Receivers

 ()=2025 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

50.(+) Quentin Johnston (Chargers)

49.(+) Kayshon Boutte (Patriots)

48.(+) Rashid Shaheed (Seahawks)

47.(+) Luther Burden III (Bears)

46.(42) Josh Downs (Colts)

45.(18) Brian Thomas Jr. (Jaguars)

44.(+) Emeka Egbuka (Buccaneers)

43.(+) Ricky Pearsall (49ers)

42.(+) Christian Watson (Packers)

41.(39) Deebo Samuel (Free Agent)

40.(+) Keenan Allen (Free Agent)

39.(25) Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)

38.(37) Jauan Jennings (Vikings)

37.(34) Khalil Shakir (Bills)

36.(+) Rome Odunze (Bears)

35.(+) Parker Washington (Jaguars)

34.(32) Ladd McConkey (Chargers)

33.(+) Wan'Dale Robinson (Titans)

32.(15) D.J. Moore (Bills)

31.(+) Romeo Doubs (Patriots)

30.(30) Michael Pittman Jr. (Steelers)

29.(31) Jakobi Meyers (Jaguars)

28.(46) Rashee Rice (Chiefs)

27.(16) D.K. Metcalf (Steelers)

26.(+) Michael Wilson (Cardinals)

25.(+) Tetairoa McMillan (Panthers)

24.(11) Mike Evans (49ers)

23.(35) Jameson Williams (Lions)

22.(47) Alec Pierce (Colts)

21.(27) Stefon Diggs (Free Agent)

20.(17) Davante Adams (Rams)

19.(20) DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

18.(28) Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

17.(14) Malik Nabers (Giants)

16.(13) Garrett Wilson (Jets)

15.(21) Jaylen Waddle (Broncos)

14.(10) Terry McLaurin (Commanders)

13.(12) Tee Higgins (Bengals)

12.(23) Chris Olave (Saints)

11.(19) Zay Flowers (Ravens)

10.(29) George Pickens (Cowboys)

9.(8) Drake London (Falcons)

8.(5) A.J. Brown (Eagles)

7.(9) Nico Collins (Texans)

6.(3) CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

5.(4) Amon-Ra St.Brown (Lions)

4.(22) Jaxson Smith-Njigba (Seahawks)

3.(1) Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

2.(6) Puka Nacua (Rams)

1.(2) Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Running Backs

()=2025 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

50.(44) Ray Davis (Bills)

49.(38) Justice Hill (Ravens)

48.(+) Samjae Perine (Bengals)

47.(+) Sean Tucker (Buccaneers)

46.(42) Nick Chubb (Free Agent)

45.(12) Chuba Hubbard (Panthers)

44.(22) Brian Robinson Jr. (Falcons)

43.(+) Chris Rodriguez Jr. (Jaguars)

42.(19) Alvin Kamara (Saints)

41.(+) Woody Marks (Texans)

40.(+) R.J. Harvey (Broncos)

39.(14) Aaron Jones (Vikings)

38.(+) Quinshon Judkins (Browns)

37.(+) Ashton Jeanty (Raiders)

36.(+) Kyle Monangai (Bears)

35.(+) Jacory Croskey-Merritt (Commanders)

34.(+) Kimani Vidal (Chargers)

33.(28) Tyler Allgeier (Cardinals)

32.(43) Tyrone Tracy Jr. (Giants)

31.(+) Omarion Hampton (Chargers)

30.(+) Cam Skattebo (Giants)

29.(25) Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots)

28.(29) Jordan Mason (Vikings)

27.(+) Kenneth Gainwell (Buccaneers)

26.(27) Rico Dowdle (Steelers)

25.(16) Bucky Irving (Buccaneers)

24.(17) Tony Pollard (Titans)

23.(23) Rachaad White (Commanders)

22.(+) TreVeyon Henderson (Patriots)

21.(32) J.K. Dobbins (Broncos)

20.(+) Blake Corum (Rams)

19.(9) David Montgomery (Texans)

18.(30) Zach Charbonnet (Seahawks)

17.(40) Jaylen Warren (Steelers)

16.(36) Travis Etienne (Saints)

15.(18) Chase Brown (Bengals)

14.(47) Javonte Williams (Cowboys)

13.(24) Breece Hall (Jets)

12.(37) D'Andre Swift (Bears)

11.(1) Saquon Barkley (Eagles)

10.(5) Josh Jacobs (Packers)

9.(10) Kyren Williams (Rams)

8.(20) Kenneth Walker III (Chiefs)

7.(11) Jonathan Taylor (Colts)

6.(7) James Cook (Bills)

5.(3) Christian McCaffery (49ers)

4.(15) De'Von Achane (Dolphins)

3.(6) Jahmyr Gibbs (Lions)

2.(2) Derrick Henry (Ravens)

1.(4) Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

Movie Review: Mortal Kombat II

2021's Mortal Kombat-which was notable for being the first R-rated take on the legendary fighting game franchise-had two very common gripes from fans: 1. The titular tournament wasn't featured at all. 2.The main character (Lewis Tan's Cole Young) was an original creation for the movie who struggled to leave much of an impression when sharing the screen with MK's stable of iconic characters including Scorpion, Subzero and Sonya Blade. The creative team for the sequel Mortal Kombat II headed up by returning director Simon McQuoid and new screenwriter Jeremy Slater (Moon Knight, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire) listened to fan feedback and came up with a really groundbreaking solution: Break out the tournament and make fan favorite character Johnny Cage (Karl Urban) the protagonist.  This application of constructive criticism/olive branch fan service is exactly the remedy MKII needed to improve upon its predecessor.  

Structurally, Mortal Kombat II tests the limits of the definition of narrative storytelling. About 90% of the film is a breathless upchucking of frantic, CGI gore-soaked fights, quips that were collected off the cutting room of all three Deadpool movies and lore dumps about magic amulets that make fighters invincible and warning of the horrors that would fall upon the people of Earth if a tyrannical monster from another dimension were to win the latest edition of an interdimensional martial arts tournament where the losing contestants are typically killed in an over-the-top gruesome manner.  These smooth-brained shenanigans will drive certain viewers absolutely fucking insane as they chug along for a little under two hours until it reaches a conclusion that features wait for it... a tease for the next movie. 

For me, this particular configuration of a Mortal Kombat movie is pretty ideal. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of Mortal Kombat is a relentless stream of over-the-top fights and building a movie around this cornerstone of the game just feels right. Honestly, the only time I wasn't entertained was when they attempted to build an emotional core surrounding Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) and her quest for revenge against big bad Shao Khan (Martyn Ford) for killing her father when she was a kid. Trying to establish even just a single somewhat substantial arc for one of these characters is just entirely antithetical to the rest of the movie that is built around things like Character X ripping Character Y's head off or Character A sparing the life of Character B to remind the viewer that they're one of the good guys, and it shows in the complete lack of heart that is put into this subplot. There was really no need to try to apply some half-assed personal stakes to a plot that basically boils down to "if Shao Khan wins the tournament, he will be free to enslave the Earth" and it's really hard to argue that it serves any purpose other than to than fill up the small bursts of dead air that exist between fights. Just let the cartoonish martial arts do the talking and leave the emotional resonance to movies that don't include spontaneous trips to Hell, a recently resurrected man melting goons with the laser eye that some corpse paint-covered wizard conjured up in a few seconds upon request and an avatar for Jean-Claude Van Damme helping save Earth from the brink of extinction. 

Assuming Mortal Kombat III gets greenlit, the path forward for this franchise could suddenly get murkier. Doubling down on the tournament/lore formula could swiftly erase the goodwill that was built up here and pivoting to a weightier story just doesn't make much sense for a franchise that is at its worst when its characters aren't trying to fight each other to the death. While there are certainly far worse outcomes than a fighting game adaptation peaking with something that's on the level of Mortal Kombat II, there's still some room for these movies to grow in terms of leaning into the inherent ridiculousness of this material and upping the creativity of the fight choreography in a world where the possibilities for combat fireworks are basically endless (more stuff on the level of the Kung Lao vs. Liu Kang fight in this installment would be awesome). A flawless victory is in sight, the people behind the controller just have to lock in and put the work into making it happen. 

Grade: B

Karl Urban Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Karl Urban-whose latest project "Mortal Kombat II" releases in theaters today.

Karl Urban's Filmography Ranked:

16.The Loft (D+)

15.Priest (C-)

14.The Chronicles of Riddick (C)

13.The Bourne Supremacy (C) 

12.The Bluff (B-)

11.Riddick (B-)

10.Star Trek Beyond (B-)

9.Doom (B-)

8.Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (B-)

7.Acts of Vengeance (B) 

6.Red (B)

5.Star Trek Into Darkness (B+)

4.The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (B+)

3.Dredd (B+)

2.Star Trek (A)

1.Thor: Ragnarok (A)

Top Dog: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Taika Waititi coming in and revitalizing Thor after The Dark World turned the Norse God into the MCU's biggest liability as a solo movie headliner is one of the best things that's ever happened in the history of this massive franchise. Ragnarok is a big, colorful blast of a movie that is unafraid to get weird and show off Chris Hemsworth's underutilized range by turning Thor into this magnetic goofball who is finally forced to be vulnerable as his home faces extinction from his estranged sister Hela (Cate Blanchett in a delightful scenery-chewing villain turn).

Bottom Feeder: The Loft (2015)

It would be very hard to find a throwback sleazeball thriller attempt that's as misguided as The Loft. Belgian director Erik Van Looy-who is remaking his own 2008 movie Loft in English!-establishes a bafflingly serious tone for a movie with a logline that basically amounts to "five friends find a dead woman in the luxury apartment that they all use for their extramarital affairs and have to figure out who is responsible for this unidentified corpse before the authorities are alerted", none of the actors save for Matthias Scohenaerts-who also appeared in the original-invest any energy into trying to sell the fractures in the group's dynamic that this heinous crime has exposed and the obligatory avalanche of plot twists that arrives in the final act is too clumsily deployed to provide the intended seismic reconfiguring of the lens that the preceding events are viewed through. 

Most Underrated: Dredd (2012)

Plan and simple, Dredd fucking tips. The bloody, slow motion-driven action sequences hit like a truck, the simple plotting and confined apartment complex setting keep the suspense at a very high level throughout and the interactions between Urban's stoic brute Judge Dredd and Lena Headey's cartoonishly evil drug lord Ma-Ma are consistently electrifying. I would be absolutely overjoyed if Urban finally got his longstanding wish to get a sequel off the ground.

Most Overrated: Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Being on an island when it comes to Return of the King is one of the loneliest places you can ever find yourself in the world of movie takes. The reality is that I was very underwhelmed by this as a kid and that feeling has stuck with me as an adult. Padding out the runtime by tacking on nearly an hour of inert drama following the destruction of the ring adds a huge anticlimactic streak to what is supposed to be this soaring conclusion to an epic story. Looking back on it now, I'd argue that this creative choice proved to be a harbringer of what was to come with Peter Jackson's drawn-out adaptation of The Hobbit. Perhaps, a rewatch of the full trilogy would unlock something that I missed all of those years ago but for now, I remain firm in my belief that this is easily one of the most overrated movies I've ever watched.  

2026 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Quarterbacks

Blooming flowers and the promise that summer is within reach isn't the only thing that May always brings. That's right, there's also the considerably less exciting arrival of my annual NFL Position Ranking series. This was a tradition that was born out of pure boredom during the seemingly endless offseason about a decade ago and it's something that I really enjoy putting together every year. Here are a few notes on how this series works before we get started.

1.Rookies are barred from inclusion.

2.Players are judged on where they currently stand in my opinion, not the player they once were or could potentially go onto be.

3.Each player is listed as a member of the team they're currently rostered by. If a player is not on a roster at the time of the publishing of their position's rankings, they'll be listed as a free agent.

Quarterback has the honor of kicking things off as per usual and for the first time in a long time, there's a new guy occupying the top spot. Hope you enjoy and I encourage you to regularly check back over the next 8-9 weeks as the remainder of the series is published. 

()=2025 ranking 

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2025

25.(16) Kyler Murray (Vikings)

24.(+) Kirk Cousins (Raiders)

23.(+) Jacoby Brissett (Cardinals)

22.(23) Bryce Young (Panthers)

21.(25) Aaron Rodgers (Steelers)

20.(+) Daniel Jones (Colts)

19.(12) C.J. Stroud (Texans)

18.(+) Bo Nix (Broncos)

17.(8) Jayden Daniels (Commanders)

16.(11) Baker Mayfield (Buccaneers)

15.(24) Caleb Williams (Bears)

14.(18) Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars)

13.(9) Jared Goff (Lions)

12.(13) Brock Purdy (49ers)

11.(17) Jordan Love (Packers)

10.(20) Drake Maye (Patriots)

9.(5) Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

8.(10) Dak Prescott (Cowboys)

7.(6) Justin Herbert (Chargers)

6.(15) Sam Darnold (Seahawks)

5.(2) Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

4.(4) Joe Burrow (Bengals)

3.(1) Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

2.(7) Matthew Stafford (Rams)

1.(3) Josh Allen (Bills)

Movie Review: Deep Water

 

Picture this: It's the first weekend of the summer movie season and you're in the lobby of your local multiplex. Among the offerings playing is a Renny Harlin-directed disaster movie-turned-shark survival thriller starring Aaron Eckhart, Ben Kingsley and Angus Sampson. A reasonable follow up question would be what year is it? 1998? 2004? Perhaps, 2010? Believe it or not, this was a scenario that could've played out if you had walked into any of the 1,675 theaters in the United States and Canada that were playing Deep Water this past weekend. What's just as surprising as something like this making its way to the big screen in 2026 is its standing as a legitimately solid piece of throwback entertainment.

Deep Water is the kind of movie that Harlin should always be considered for but rarely gets hired to make these days. His largely uninspiring filmography over the past 25 years has painted a distorted picture of who he is as a filmmaker and getting the chance to direct this two-for-one schlock special is his way of proving that he's still the same guy he was in the 90's when he was one of Hollywood's preferred hires when they needed a reliable pro to direct a dumb blockbuster. The pride he takes in being able to stage a massive plane crash that kills dozens of people via flying objects, slamming their heads off their tray tables, etc. then immediately shifting gears to having some of the people that survived the impact of the plane hitting the open ocean promptly get eaten by sharks can be felt through the screen. This material doesn't require buy-in from the director, but Harlin can't help but get earnestly invested in the plight of these one-note characters, their struggle to survive back-to-back catastrophic events and the horrific dismemberment of the (mostly) unlikable souls who don't make it out of the shark-infested, debris-filled waters alive. After seeing him slip back into his old form here, I'm actually kind of excited to see what he did on the whale attack movie he made with Melissa Barrera and 2-4 Travoltas last summer.

Deep Water isn't the next Deep Blue Sea (although there are a few moments in the final 20 minutes where Harlin channels the same demented over-the-top cartoonish energy that made that movie so much fun), let alone the next Jaws. It is however a reminder of the special entertainment value that a disaster/survival movie that's earnestly cheesy and stupid can hold. This is a recipe that has threatened to be lost with time, and it was nice to see a trusted steward of its legacy allow it to stave off extinction for now by cooking up a damn fine meal with it at a time where it was widely believed he no longer knew his way around a kitchen. 

Grade: B-

Movie Review: Hokum

Hollywood has tasked the blockbuster trio of The Devil Wears Prada 2, The Mandalorian & Grogu and Mortal Kombat II with being the primary driver of audiences to theaters during the month of May. What's lurking in the shadows and eager to feast on whatever scraps come their way during this opening month of 2026's summer movie season is a whole lot of horror movies. There are a whopping five horror movies releasing in May (which as of this writing, is more than June-August combined!) and this upcoming weekend is the only one this month that doesn't have one on the calendar. Batting leadoff in this spooky lineup is the Neon-backed supernatural/psychological chiller Hokum from Irish filmmaker Damian Mc Carthy (Oddity, Caveat). If Hokum is a harbinger of what's to come from Obsession, Passenger, Corporate Retreat and Backrooms in the coming weeks, this is going to be a very enjoyable stretch for fans of the horror genre. 

The setup to Hokum is a pretty familiar one as it centers around an American writer (a really terrific Adam Scott) who travels to Ireland to spread the ashes of his deceased parents outside of the remote countryside hotel they honeymooned at, only to quick discover that this idyllic place is haunted by a witch and some other evils that aren't of the supernatural variety. Seeing another story involving a haunted hotel and tortured creatives confronting the trauma that made them miserable is going to have zero appeal to some folks out there that have had their fill of movies that are in the mold of The Shining or 1408 over the years. Safe to say, I'm not one of these people. Once Hokum settles into a groove after a pretty slow first act where it establishes the central players that are going to help make this writer's trip to Ireland unforgettable (the desk clerk who is seemingly only employed there because he's the owner's son-in-law, a psychedelic mushroom-loving drifter with a troubling past who lives in a van in the woods next to the hotel, a friendly bartender who is the only member of the hotel staff that Scott's prickly character is even somewhat nice to, the aspiring writer bellhop who is naive enough to believe that a famous author would be anything other than bluntly dismissive upon being asked if they were interested in reading a stranger's manuscript, the hotheaded groundskeeper) and a bit of folklore surrounding the witch that haunts the hotel's long decommissioned honeymoon suite, the film becomes so fucking terrifying that I didn't give two shits about any similarities it may or may not have shared with other movies.  

It's been quite a bit since I've watched a haunted house movie where it felt like the main character was being haunted by a dangerous evil that could be lurking around every corner. The seemingly endless corridors and ambient wall-mounted lighting that run through the hotel are designed in a way that screams "SOMETHING EVIL LIVES WITHIN THESE WALLS" without feeling like they were explicitly built as a nightmare playground for a horror movie. Naturally, this feeling of unease and inherent creepiness intensifies when the action eventually shifts to the honeymoon suite. This long vacant space is a cavernous maze full of secret tunnels and old elevators that serve as portals to various evils that are better left unspoken until you actually see the movie. Trapping the viewer in an area where the sense of confinement and danger from the various threats the protagonist is facing aren't just seen but felt in the deepest pits of your stomach is the most surefire way to know that a horror movie has done its job and Mc Carthy finds so much success on that front that I hope the producers give him a bonus for all of the internal distress he caused through the relentlessly nightmarish materialization of his vision.  

Hokum isn't quite as successful with handling the subtext around the long-held trauma that has made Scott's character the miserable loner alcoholic writer he is today. But when the movie is this scary and compelling, it becomes a lot easier to forgive a somewhat underwritten emotional arc that forces the main character to finally obtain the courage to face their inner demons. Mc Carthy is well on his way to keep on rising through the horror ranks and may he not lose sight of the meticulous visceral craftsmanship that fueled his ascent once he moves onto bigger projects. 

Grade: B+