Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Best and Worst of Seann William Scott

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "Goon: Last of the Enforcers" star Seann William Scott.

Films starring Seann William Scott that I've seen:
American Pie
Final Destination
Road Trip
Dude, Where's My Car?
Evolution 
American Pie 2
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Old School
Bulletproof Monk
American Wedding
The Rundown
The Dukes of Hazzard
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Mr. Woodcock
Southland Tales
Role Models
Cop Out
Goon
American Reunion 
Movie 43

Best Performance: American Pie (1999)
Scott likely wouldn't have become one of the most prominent figures in comedy during the 2000's if it wasn't for American Pie. His larger-than life comedic presence made Steve Stifler one of the most entertaining, oddly likable douchebags in the history of teen comedies and ended up being a pretty significant part of why the film turned into a massive cult hit that spawned multiple sequels.

Worst Performance: The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Thanks to the success of American Pie, Scott been typecast as the sarcastic, loudmouth asshole in bro comedies for a vast majority of his career and by all accounts, he's consistently thrived in this very specific niche. To be honest, The Dukes of Hazzard was the only time where I felt his energetic dickhead routine ended up falling flat. Unlike his standout work in Role Models, The Rundown and the American Pie franchise, Scott managed to be completely insufferable and unfunny in this horrendous big-screen adaptation of the inexplicably popular 70's/80's television series.   

Best Film: The Rundown (2003)
Every generation of action movie fans has a selection of films they saw as a child/teenager that holds a special place in their heart. Peter Berg's The Rundown is one of those films for me. With its slew of excellent fight scenes, consistent laughs and a terrific pair of well-matched, charismatic actors (Scott and Dwayne Johnson) in the leading roles, The Rundown manages to be a deliriously entertaining viewing experience that I'll never grow tired of. 

Worst Film: The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Comedic adaptations of popular television shows from the 60's, 70's and 80's was a particularly big movement during the 2000's. The likes of Charlie's Angles, Starsky & Hutch and Get Smart were among the slew of past TV hits that found their way to the big screen during the inaugural years of the new millennium. While the quality of these films were unsurprisingly scattershot, I can say without any hesitation that The Dukes of Hazzard was by far the worst one that I actually saw. The car chases are headache-inducing, the performances from every member of the Duke family (Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson, Willie Nelson) are atrocious and the attempts at comedy are nothing short of embarrassing. If it wasn't for Burt Reynolds' gloriously over-the-top turn as the Duke's arch nemesis Boss Hogg, this would be among the top 15-25 worst movies I've ever seen.
 
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Home Again" star Michael Sheen.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

2017 NFL Preview: NFC North

Chicago Bears
2016 Record: 3-13 (4th in NFC North)
Head Coach: John Fox (3rd season)
 Notable Additions: QB Mike Glennon, S Quentin Demps, CB Prince Amukamara
Notable Departures: QB Jay Cutler, WR Alshon Jeffrey, QB Brian Hoyer
-The Bears transitioned to the post Jay Cutler-era in the most Bears way possible. General manager Ryan Pace appeared to have settled on a new starter when he signed "top" free agent quarterback Mike Glennon to a 3-year/$45 mil contract ($18.5 mil guaranteed) on the 1st day of free agency. While many fans across the country chuckled at how much money the Bears committed to a guy who hasn't played in a meaningful game since 2014, it was a smart, low-risk move that would either net them a new long-term starter or allowed them to easily move onto another option in 2018 (Pace wisely put a majority of the guaranteed money into the 1st year of the deal, so the team will only take a $3 mil cap hit if they cut him after this season). A month and a half after signing Glennon, the Bears confused the entire football world by trading up in the draft to select North Carolina product Mitch Trubisky. Nothing says "we know what we're doing" like drafting a QB in the top 5 less than 8 weeks after you anointed another guy your starter in one of the most bullshit-filled press conferences in sports history. The scariest part about this unnecessary, self-imposed QB dilemma is neither of these guys are particularly promising options. Glennon was below-average during his brief tenure as the Bucs starter before they drafted legit franchise signal-caller Jameis Winston 2 years ago while Trubisky is a raw, inexperienced (he only started for 1 season at North Carolina) passer coming out of a spread system that appears to be at least 2 years away from being able to start in an NFL game. I miss Cutler already.

-Making this delightful quarterback situation that much better is the dumpster fire the team currently has at wide receiver. This already dire situation has turned into a full-on catastrophe after top wideout (aka the lone glimmer of hope in a pile of heinous junk) Cameron Meredith tore his ACL in the team's 3rd preseason bout with the Titans on Sunday afternoon. With Meredith out for the year, the Bears now have to rely on 2015 1st-round pick Kevin White, who has appeared in 4 games in his first 2 seasons in the league and the trio of veteran castoffs (Markus Wheaton, Kendall Wright, Victor Cruz) Pace acquired in free agency to ensure that his team has the most fragile receiving corps in the league to make significant contributions in the passing game. Handing a pair of shaky quarterbacks a receiving corps that is as injury-prone and generally ineffective as this is an act of cruel, senseless torture that should result in prison time for whatever masochist in the organization thought it was a good idea to not ink a single durable veteran to a contract during the aforementioned "save a sad veteran wideout from unemployment" operation they ran this offseason. The decision to not give Alshon Jeffrey an extension before the 2016 season is going to come back to furiously bite this front office in the ass once this group of training table frequent flyers fails to collectively post 1,500 yards for this season.

-The unsettling level of disarray that is now present in the Bears passing attack has put starting running back Jordan Howard in a really shitty spot. The 2nd-year back, who finished 2nd in the league with 1,313 yards in 2016, is now a lock to face stacked boxes at least 75% of the time he lines up in the backfield. While Howard is a powerful runner that broke a ton of tackles last season (40 on 252 total carries), getting that level of attention could really stunt his growth as a player. If Howard can clear 4 yards a carry and 1,000+ yards on the ground this year against so many loaded fronts, then he truly is the league's next great back.

-While it's been understandably overshadowed by the seemingly endless number of question marks they have on offense, this defense actually appears to be in decent shape heading into this season. Their front 7 did a good job of getting to the quarterback last season (38 sacks, tied for 11th in the league) and with nose tackle Eddie Goldman back at 100% after missing almost all of 2016 with a high ankle sprain, their run D should improve, the additions of solid veteran cornerback Prince Amukamara and safety Quentin Demps should help bring some stability to their otherwise young secondary and defensive coordinator Vic Fangio has a proven track record of getting the most of every piece he's handed. They're clearly not going to challenging the Broncos, Seahawks, Texans, Patriots or Giants for the title of league's best defense anytime soon, but this unit has enough promising young talent (Adrian Amos, Leonard Floyd, Goldman) and underrated veterans (Akiem Hicks, Jerrell Freeman, Willie Young) to surprise some people in 2017.

Bottom Line:
Barring some shockingly strong quarterback play from 1 of their 2 wild cards at the position, 2017 will be yet another painful, emotionally-crushing season for the Bears. 

Detroit Lions
2016 Record: 9-7 (2nd in NFC North)
Head Coach: Jim Caldwell (4th season)
Notable Additions: T Ricky Wagner, G T.J. Lang, ILB Paul Worrilow
Notable Departures: T Riley Rieff,  G Larry Warford, S Rafael Bush
-It took a wave of luck (winning a tiebreaker over the Bucs despite ending the season on a 3-game losing streak) and a string of ridiculous 4th quarter comebacks (8 of their 9 wins were a result of late-game rallys) for the Lions to clinch a wild card spot last year. This may just be a result of me being a cynical prick, but I don't think Matthew Stafford and co. will be able to pull off that absurd feat again this season. Their roster just isn't overly good or deep on either side of the ball and I have a hard time buying them as a serious threat to contend in the tightly-contested without the acts of divine intervention that helped them pull off all of those unlikely rallies last season.

-Unlike their foes in Minnesota, the Lions went out and fortified their offensive line with a pair of smart, big-money free-agent signings this offseason. Ricky Wagner established himself as one of the league's premier right tackles during his 4-year tenure with the Ravens and former Packer T.J. Lang is a much more consistent run-blocker than previous starter Larry Warford. Pairing these excellent veteran lineman with 2nd-year tackle Taylor Decker, who greatly exceeded expectations as a rookie last season, should provide a much-needed spark to their long-suffering running game and help them sure up the pass-blocking inconsistencies that prevented them from being a top 10-12 line in the league a year ago.

-Ameer Abdullah needs to relish the opportunity Jim Caldwell and Jim Bob Cooter are giving him this season because it's most likely going to be his last chance to prove he can be a starting running back in the NFL. His brief professional career has shined an intense spotlight on the flaws (durability, ball security) he displayed during his time at the University of Nebraska while showcasing very little of the shiftiness and versatility that made him such a lauded prospect. He's looked pretty good in the preseason thus far and stands to benefit from the Lions somewhat-revamped offensive line, but the presence of pass-catching specialist Theo Riddick and gritcoin holder Zach Zenner-who both started and outplayed him while he missed time with a broken foot last season- in the backfield rotation make his room for error very small.

-No defensive player in the league is entering a more vital contract year than Ziggy Ansah. The 28-year defensive end was almost completely invisible a year ago, posting a paltry 2 sacks in 13 games after picking up 30 during his first 3 years in the league. A nagging ankle injury was reportedly to blame for Ansah's underwhelming season and given the fact that he's been on the PUP list for the duration of the preseason, there's no way of knowing if he's still hampered by it or the team is simply saving him for regular season action. Ansah's performance this season will not only effect how much money he'll land in his new contract, but it will also determine the productivity of the Lions pass-rush. 2016 team sack leader Kerry Hyder tore his ACL in the 1st preseason game and the front office's faith in Anasah's ability to return to form this season compelled them use to their draft assets elsewhere. Both parties need Ansah to thrive this season or else they'll end up side-by-side in a deep pit of self-loathing come January.      

Bottom Line:
Unless they can catch the same string of breaks they did in 2016, I don't see the Lions returning to the playoffs in 2017.

Green Bay Packers
2016 Record: 10-6 (1st in NFC North)
Head Coach: Mike McCarthy (12th season)
Notable Additions: TE Martellus Bennett, G Jahri Evans, CB Davon House
Notable Departures: G T.J. Lang, RB Eddie Lacy, C JC Tretter
-The Packers took a rare pair of potentially damaging hits by letting talented guards T.J Lang and center JC Tretter walk in free agency. Tretter had emerged as one of the league's most consistent young centers over the past 2 seasons and while the 30-year old Lang is nearing the end of his prime, he's still one of the top 15 guards in the league at this point in time. With Lang and Tretter now gone, this long-time strength could very well turn into a weakness. Center Cory Linsley is being thrust backing into the starting role after being benched in favor of Tretter at the start of the 2015 season while new pickup Jahri Evans is a long way removed from his dominant past as a perennial All-Pro with the Saints. Their elite tackle pairing (David Bakitahiri and Bryan Bulaga) should prevent them from completely imploding, but on paper, this looks it's going to be the shakiest o-line of the Aaron Rodgers/Mike McCarthy-era.

-Anyone that watched the Packers play in 2016 knows that their secondary outside of starting safeties Morgan Burnett and HaHa Clintion-Dix was nothing short of abysmal last year. While injuries admittedly played a part in this group's incompetence, the play of their young corners (Damarious Randall, Quentin Rollins, Ladarius Gunter) was often painful to watch. Even with a couple of tweaks and having all of their young corners return to the fold at full health, they're unlikely to be much better in 2017. Top draft pick Kevin King brings plenty of physicality to the table, but his coverage skills are still very much a work in progress, the return of Davon House to cheese country after a horrific 2-year stint in Jacksonville merely adds another uninspiring piece to their carousel of below-average corners and above all, there isn't a single guy currently on this roster that is consistent or dynamic enough to be a true #1 corner in the league. The blessing of not having any truly dominant receivers in their division should help keep things from getting out of hand during the regular season, but unless this secondary can make some unexpected strides, the Packers are going to run into some serious trouble come playoff time.

-The Packers signing of tight end Martellus Bennett could end up going down as one of the sneaky best moves of free agency. Bennett, who scored a career-high 7 TD with the Patriots last year, gives Aaron Rodgers yet another athletic vertical threat to work with as well as a much-needed redzone option in a primarily small-and-fast receiving corps. If he can develop a rapport with Rodgers and not get completely overshadowed by the Packers talented starting wideouts (Jordy Nelson and Davante Adams), I wouldn't be shocked if Bennett had the most productive season of his career thus far.

-By deciding not to re-up on Eddie Lacy and not bringing in any serious challengers during the offseason to compete for the job, the Packers appear to be committed to Ty Montgomery as their starting running back. The former wide receiver played pretty well last year (457 YDS, 3 TD's) in what was originally considered to be a temporary emergency gig due to injuries to Lacy and longtime backup James Starks. His lack of success in the playoffs last season ( 91 yards on 25 carries in 3 games)and small volume (including the playoffs, he only carried the ball 102 times last season) is a little bit alarming, but he still managed to do enough to prove he deserves a crack at the starting job. The progress or lack thereof Montgomery makes in his 1st full season as a starting running back should make for some fun drama on this otherwise stable, stagnant team.

Bottom Line:
With Aaron Rodgers still playing at an elite level and very limited roster turnover, the Packers are pretty much a lock to be in the NFC title mix for the 10th straight year. 

Minnesota Vikings
2016 Record: 8-8 (3rd in NFC North)
Head Coach: Mike Zimmer (3rd season)
Notable Additions: T Riley Rieff, T Mike Remmers, RB Latavius Murray
Notable Departures: RB Adrian Peterson, T Matt Kalil, CB Captain Munnerlyn
-Teddy Bridgewater is unsurprisingly still sidelined with the non-contact knee injury he suffered during a team practice last August, so that means that Vikings nation is in store for another season of the Sam Bradford experience. Bradford flexed why he's the king of efficient, relentlessly mediocre quarterback by setting an NFL single-season record for completion percentage (71.6%) in a year where the Vikings failed to parlay their hot start (6-0) into a playoff bid. Having Bradford under center once again raises the inevitable question of whether or not he is good enough to take a team to the playoffs. The 29-year old quarterback displayed a strong chemistry with a number of his top pass-catching targets (Adam Thielen, Kyle Rudolph, Stefon Diggs) and his reliance on low-risk short throws is ideal for defensive-driven team like the Vikings. However, if their defense is anything less than lights out and the running game doesn't take off like many people think it's going to this season, Bradford's "Alex Smith-light" style of play likely won't be enough to guide to them to the elusive promised land of playoffs.

-After watching the rushing game deteriorate without a healthy Adrian Peterson and Bradford run for dear life almost every time held the ball for more than 2 seconds, GM Rick Spielman finally decided to address the team's long-standing offensive line issues this offseason. Of course Spielman's idea of fixing the o-line was breaking out his checkbook to overpay the ever-loving shit out of a couple of guys from this year's horrific free agent class. The Vikings handed a pair of 5-year deals worth a  combined total of $36.8 mil in guaranteed money to the dream team of Riley Rieff, whose relentless inconsistency got him ousted by the Lions and ex-Panthers tackle Mike Remmers, who is best known for being the guy Von Miller put on skates for 4 quarters during Super Bowl 50. Handing out long-term deals for guys that are unlikely to be anything more than marginal improvements over woeful previous starters Matt Kalil and T.J Clemmings is a complete head-scratcher, especially for a team that currently has a starting quarterback with one of the lengthiest injury rap sheets in the league. The "overpay free agents to try and quickly fill a need" roster-building approach rarely yields positive results and I'd be surprised if this move ended up going down as one of the instances where this ill-advised yet consistently utilized personnel technique ended up working out.

-It became clear about halfway through last season that Adrian Peterson's time with the Vikings was going to come to a close after the 2016 season. The future Hall-of-Famer proved he wasn't a cyborg by showing signs of physical wear for the 1st time in his career and paying $18 million to a 32-year old back with a history of knee injuries that can't handle a 20+ carry per game workload anymore would be a batshit insane move. Replacing a generational talent like Peterson is going to be a tall order, but rookie Dalvin Cook absolutely has the potential to be a worthy successor. Cook, who surpassed Warrick Dunn as Florida State's all-time rushing leader last fall, has managed to impress the coaching staff so much in his first 4 months with the team that he's projected to beat out veteran free agent pickup Latavius Murray,who spent the past 2 seasons as the Raiders uncontested lead back, for the starting job. The Vikings early display of faith in Cook is an excellent sign for a player whose workouts were so heavily scrutinized throughout the pre-draft process. If Cook can avoid the off-the-field issues that played a role in his draft stock falling and display the same combination of vision, power and cutting ability that defined his time at FSU in the NFL, he should be able to make an instant impact for a Vikings squad that couldn't run the ball with any semblance of success a year ago.

Honorable Mentions:
Despite their abysmal offense line and average quarterback, the Vikings D is good enough to put them in the Wild Card mix.
 
Projected Standings
1.Green Bay Packers (11-5)
2.Minnesota Vikings (9-7)
3.Detroit Lions (7-9)
4.Chicago Bears (4-12) 

Monday, August 28, 2017

Top 10 Most Anticipated Albums of Fall 2017

10.Tove Lo-Lady Wood: Phase Two (Release Date: TBD October/November)
9.Counterparts-You're Not You Anymore (Release Date: September 22nd)
8.Archspire-Relentless Mutation (Release Date: September 22nd)
7.Machine Head-TBD (Release Date: TBD)
6.The Story So Far-TBD (Release Date: TBD)
5.The Faceless-In Becoming A Ghost (Release Date: TBD)
4.Converge-The Dusk in Us (Release Date: November 3rd)
3.Entheos-TBD (Release Date: TBD)
2.August Burns Red-Phantom Anthem (Release Date: October 6th)
1.The Black Dahlia Murder-Nightbringers (Release Date: October 6th)

Also excited for:
Septicflesh-Codex Omega (Release Date: September 1st)
Arch Enemy-Will to Power (Release Date: September 8th)
Cannabis Corpse-Left Hand Pass (Release Date: September 8th)
Stray From the Path-Only Death is Real (Release Date: September 8th)
The Contortionist-Clairvoyant (Release Date: September 15th) 
Ensiferium-Two Paths (Release Date: September 15th)
Foo Fighters-Concrete and Gold (Release Date: September 15th)
Gucci Mane-Mr.Davis (Release Date: September 15th)
Open Mike Eagle-Brick Body Kids Still Daydream (Release Date: September 15th)
Macklemore-Gemini (Release Date: September 22nd)
Mastodon-Cold Dark Place (Release Date: September 22nd)
Demi Lovato-Tell Me You Love Me (Release Date: September 29th)
Knuckle Puck-Shapeshifter (Release Date: October 13th)
Stick to Your Guns-True View (Release Date: October 13th)
Through the Eyes of the Dead-Disomus (Release Date: October 13th)
GWAR-The Blood of Gods (Release Date: October 20th)
Ne Obliviscaris-Urn (Release Date: October 27th)
Weezer-Pacific Daydream (Release Date: October 27th)
Denzel Curry-Taboo (Release Date: TBD)
ScHoolboy Q-TBD (Release Date: TBD)

Friday, August 25, 2017

2017 Fantasy Football Sleeper Mania

In the world of fantasy football, draft steals often play a pivotal role on the road to a championship. There's a whole lot of dart-throwing and blind faith involved in the quest to unearth a hidden gem in the back-end of the draft, but if you manage to land a productive player late, you will feel a borderline sad amount of pride and joy. Here are the group of guys that I believe are 2017's top, late-round (potential) studs.  

Quarterback: Derek Carr (Raiders) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 102.4, ESPN: 118.8, NFL.Com: 92.7)
The lack of disrespect Derek Carr is receiving in fantasy circles this season is appalling. He is coming off a 28 TD, 6 INT season where he picked up legitimate MVP buzz and led the Raiders to their first playoff berth since 2002 yet he's still falling into the double-digit rounds in most drafts. With the Raiders plethora of lethal options in the passing game and his tendency to improve with each subsequent year in the league, Carr is a terrific pickup for anyone that likes to wait until the final 5-6 rounds of the draft to select a QB. 
Honorable Mentions: Kirk Cousins (Redskins), Matthew Stafford (Lions), Carson Wentz (Eagles)
Deep Rookie Sleeper : Mitch Trubisky (Bears)*
(Since no other rookie looks like they're going to get a shot at starting this season, Trubisky is getting this distinction by default.) 

Running Back: Bilal Powell (Jets) (ADP: Yahoo!: 100.8, ESPN: 50.6, NFL.com: 64.6)
The Jets dumpster fire at the quarterback and wide receiver position makes dual-threat back Powell, who has been very productive a complementary piece over the past few seasons, a near-lock to be the focal point of their rebuilding offense. As long as he can stay healthy, I think Powell will get enough volume on a weekly basis to finish as a top 10 back in both standard and PPR leagues. 
Honorable Mentions: Doug Martin (Buccaneers), Theo Riddick (Lions), Thomas Rawls (Seahawks) 
Deep Rookie Sleeper: Kareem Hunt (Chiefs)

Wide Receiver: Cameron Meredith (Bears) (ADP: Yahoo!: 101.3, ESPN: 92.8, NFL.com: 123.5) 
I initially had Pierre Garcon in this slot, but the wave of buzz that has surrounded him in the fantasy community (especially in PPR leagues) over the past few weeks has taken him out of the "sleeper" category in my mind. While Cameron Meredith is unlikely to emerge as the NFL's next prolific young WR, he's the type of guy that should be able to net you the type of consistent targets and production (a la what Kenny Britt did with the Rams last year) that you don't usually get out of a receiver that's going in the 9th-11th round range. 
Honorable Mentions: Rishard Matthews (Titans), Jeremy Maclin (Ravens), Marvin Jones Jr. (Lions)
Deep Rookie Sleeper: Cooper Kupp (Rams)

Tight End: Cameron Brate (Buccaneers) (ADP: Yahoo!: 131.0, ESPN: 177.2, NFL.com: 144.0)
While the Bucs spent a first round pick this year on tight end O.J. Howard, they're reportedly going to be primarily utilizing him as a blocker this season. As a result of this decision, Cameron Brate is now in position to have another nice season as the starting tight end for this upstart Buccaneers team. Brate emerged as Jameis Winston's favorite redzone target outside of Mike Evans last season and even if his nice TD total (8) from a year ago slightly declines, he'll still provide outstanding value at his current 12th-14th round draft slot.
Honorable Mentions: Jack Doyle (Colts), C.J. Fiedorowicz (Texans), Jesse James (Steelers)
Deep Rookie Sleeper: Evan Engram (Giants)

Defense: New York Giants (ADP: Yahoo!: 127.9, ESPN: 177.6, NFL.com: 102.3)
The Giants D impressed the hell out of me with their play down the stretch last season and with the abundance of playmakers they have scattered throughout their ranks, I believe they're going to blossom into a top-10 fantasy defense this season.
Honorable Mentions: Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens, Los Angeles Chargers 

Thursday, August 24, 2017

2017 NFL Preview: NFC East

Dallas Cowboys
2016 Record: 13-3 (1st in NFC East)
Head Coach: Jason Garrett (7th season)
Notable Additions: CB Nolan Carroll, DT Stephen Paea, T Byron Bell
 Notable Departures: QB Tony Romo (retired), T Doug Free (retired), CB Brandon Carr
-The on-field impact of Ezkiel Elliott's impending 6-game suspension for alleged domestic abuse is being completely overblown. The Cowboys are among the handful of teams in the league that could lose the reigning league leader in rushing yards and not suffer a notable drop-off in their ability to run the ball effectively. This rare luxury of having essentially having an exceptional, plug-and-play rushing attack can be attributed to their stellar offensive line. Even with the loss of starting right tackle Doug Free to retirement, this unit anchored by perennial All-Pros Tyron Smith, Travis Fredrick and Zach Martin should continue to open up massive rushing lanes 15-20 times per game, and single-handily pave the way for multiple 100+ yard rushing performances over the course of he season. Clearly they would prefer to have Elliott out there, but Darren McFadden, who ran for over 1,000 yards in 2015, and Alfred Morris should have no issue keeping the Cowboys among the top 10 in the league in rushing while he's out of the lineup.

-This story has gotten lost in the shuffle thanks to Elliott's off-the-field issues and level-headed discussions about Dak Prescott's potential moving forward dominating the offseason chatter out of Dallas, but good ol' Jerry Jones quietly let 4 key contributors from their secondary walk in free agency. Starters Barry Church, Morris Claiborne and Brandon Carr along with backup safety J.J. Wilcox all left America's Team after collectively posting career-best seasons as pass-defenders in 2016. With those 4 out of the equation, this surprising strength from 2016 that kept this otherwise suspect defense afloat has suddenly turned into a huge question mark. Outside of lone returning starter Byron Jones, who has cemented himself as one of the best young defensive backs in the league over the past 2 seasons, the rest of their secondary looks pretty god damn shaky. Anthony Brown is a 2nd-year corner coming off a so-so rookie year, Nolan Carroll was absolutely awful with the Eagles last season, slot corner Orlando Scandrick hasn't looked the same since he tore his Achilles in 2015 and the limited starting experience of strong safety Jeff Heath makes him a true wild card. Even with a magician like Rod Marinelli overseeing the defense, I expect this secondary to be much worse in 2017.

-Dak Prescott was by far one of the biggest storylines of the 2016 NFL season. The 4th-round pick seized the opportunity to be the Cowboys starting quarterback once the now-retired Tony Romo hurt his back for the 12,000th time last preseason and went onto help them clinch home-field advantage throughout the playoffs for the 1st time since 2007 with a remarkable 13-win season. With the attention-grabbing success of Prescott's rookie campaign in the rearview mirror, it's now time to find out whether or not he's going to be the real deal in the pros. While Prescott's play a year ago didn't really sell me on his potential to be an upper-echelon quarterback in this league, I'm also not foolish enough to write him off as the next RG3 or Vince Young-esque single season success story yet. He displayed solid decisionmaking (he only threw 4 INT's on 459 pass attempts), accuracy (67.8 CMP%) and athleticism as a rookie, but his primary utilization as a ball-control quarterback and lack of big throws made in key situations raises questions about his ability to go out and take over a game like the best QB's in the league do on a regular basis. 2017 will start to reveal who Prescott really is and by extension, prove whether this new-look Cowboys team are going to be a perennial powerhouse or if 2016 was simply a case of a young signalcaller stringing together 1 glorious season of fluky success.    

Bottom Line:
With their off-the-field issues, young quarterback who has yet to prove he can win games by himself and major losses to a defense that wasn't all that great to begin with, I believe the Cowboys are in-line to have the biggest regression from 2016 to 2017 in the NFL.

New York Giants
2016 Record: 11-5 (2nd in NFC East)
Head Coach: Ben McAdoo (2nd season)
Notable Additions: WR Brandon Marshall, G D.J. Fluker, QB Geno Smith
Notable Departures: DT Jonathan Hankins, WR Victor Cruz, RB Rashad Jennings

-For as much shit as he gets from fans across the country, the numbers show that Eli Manning can be highly productive when he has the right pieces around him. Despite narrowly clearing 4,000 yards (4,027), completing a respectable 63% of his passes and leading his team to an 11-win season, 2016 wasn't the 2x Super Bowl champion's finest hour as a quarterback. Manning clearly threw some of his ugly, backbreaking INT's along the way, but the unreliability of the guys around star wideout Odell Beckham Jr. last season hurt their effectiveness in the redzone (they only scored a TD on 51.1% of their redzone possessions, which ranked 22nd in the NFL) and pretty much derailed any shot they had of going on another one of their signature postseason runs. General manager Jerry Reese used what little resources he had at his disposal this season to try and correct this receiver depth problem by signing 6x Pro Bowl wideout Brandon Marshall to an affordable 2-year contract ($11 mil, $5 mil guaranteed) and using his 1st-round pick to select tight end Evan Engram. While both of them have red flags (Marshall just turned 33 and has racked up his fair share of injuries over the years while Engram needs to fine-tune his route-running skills before he can succeed in the pros) that could prevent from being productive this season, they both possess the top-notch athleticism and mismatch potential you want in a secondary receiving option. The addition of Marshall and Engram alongside promising 2nd-year WR Sterling Shepard should give Manning the additional weapons he needs to thrive and subsequently lowers the odds of them getting burnt by the poor complementary receiver play that sunk them a year ago.

-The Giants had the 29th-ranked rushing offense in the NFL last season and as of right now, there's no indication that they'll be any better in 2017. Projected starter Paul Perkins, who showed some flashes of potential in limited action last year, has not inspired a lot of confidence with a weak training camp and horrible preseason thus far. The depth chart behind Perkins is equally scary. Orleans Darkwa has been pretty ineffective during his handful of career starts, Shaun Draughn is a below-average journeyman back that is turning 30 in December, Shane Vereen is pretty much useless outside of the passing game and rookie Wayne Gallman is a complete mystery that more than likely isn't going to make an impact this season. Making this sketchy running back situation worse is their horrific offensive line, which is shockingly projected to retain all 5 of their primary starters from 2016 (right tackle Marshall Newhouse, who started 6 games in relief of Bobby Hart in 2016, is the only guy not returning). Outside of center Weston Richburg and guard Justin Pugh, the personnel they have up front (John Jerry, Ereck Flowers, Hart) are among the sorriest clowns at their respective positions in the entire league. This Giants offense is going to need to establish agreater sense of balance if they want to be taken seriously as contenders and unless 1 or more of these backs can deify the odds by emerging as a reliable option or the addition of guard/tackle D.J Fluker-who isn't even projected to start as of right now- can turn this offensive line into a competent group on a whim, that goal is going to be tough to achieve.

-With their offense entering a semi-shocking state of unreliability for much of last season, it was the defense that ended up carrying the Giants to the playoffs a year ago. The stellar play from their trio of big-money free agent acquisitions (defensive end Oliver Vernon, defensive tackle Damon Harrison, cornerback Janoris Jenkins) and a breakout campaign from safety Landon Collins helped the Giants go from to near the bottom of the league in scoring defense (27.6 points allowed per game, 30th in the league) to the top of the heap in 2016 (17.8 points allowed per game, 2nd best in the league behind the Patriots). Even with the addition of some more receiving weapons in the offseason, I expect their defense to once again run the show in 2017. Most of their top contributors (Jason Pierre-Paul, Collins, the aforementioned trio of 2016 free agent pickups) are still under 30 and they replaced the only notable starter they lost from a year ago (defensive tackle Jonathan Hankins) with another potential run-stuffing behemoth in rookie Dalvin Tomlinson. If Steve Spagnuolo can get better play out of their linebacking corps and Jenkins doesn't go back to the erraticism he displayed while he was with the Rams, they should be in contention to be top overall defense in the league this season.

Bottom Line:
As long as their defense can retain their elite form from a year ago and they don't blow close games, the Giants should be able to contend in the NFC.

Philadelphia Eagles
2016 Record: 7-9 (4th in NFC East)
Head Coach: Doug Pederson (2nd season)
Notable Additions: WR Alshon Jeffrey, RB LeGarrette Blount, CB Ronald Darby
Notable Departures: WR Jordan Matthews, DT Bennie Logan, OLB Connor Barwin
-Unlike most of the young quarterbacks in the league, I feel really good about Carson Wentz this year. The 24-year old was thrust into the starting role just 8 days before the season started last year when the team unexpectedly dealt projected starter Sam Bradford to the Vikings and despite the flashes of horrific play he experienced at various points of the season, he looked pretty decent on the whole. Having an offseason where he knows he's going to be the starter and was able to spend a significant amount of time developing a rapport with his receivers should be very beneficial to Wentz's confidence as well as his development as a passer. Plus general manager Howie Roseman went out and got him the weapons he lacked a year ago by signing Alshon Jeffrey and Torrey Smith in free agency. Jeffrey is a big, versatile top wideout with an absurd catch radius that has established himself as a top-10 wideout in the league when he's healthy while Smith is a home-run hitter that has proven to be lethal when paired with a big-armed quarterback. Wentz is in a pretty ideal situation right now and as long as he can limit his amount of misguided, forced throws, he should be able to make a notable leap forward in his sophomore season.

-Even with a strong offensive line in front of him and not even a semblance of competition for the starting running back job, this should be the season where the LeGarrette Blount hype train goes up in a sea of appropriately underwhelming flames. His tenure in New England was defined by a barrage of 2-3 yard runs that were offset by a dozen or so long run a season that padded the shit out of his stats and allowed insane conversations like "Is Blount better than Marshawn Lynch?" to become a thing that existed outside of a delusional Patriots fans symposium (I'd like to think that the people that made the argument for Blount over Lynch have all given money to a Nigeran prince at some point of their lives). Now that he's out of the Belichick/Brady voodoo overachiever zone, the volume of his game-breaking runs will cease to a halt and he'll go back to being the whiny, mediocre fuckboy he was when he played with the Buccaneers and Steelers. I'll be surprised if the 30 going on 31-year old back even sniffs 800 yards and 5 TD's this season.

-Going into training camp, I was baffled by the Eagles decision to not aggressively address their corner problem in the offseason. Despite their reported interest, they lacked the cap space to woo the high-profile free agents (Stephon Gilmore, A.J. Bouye, Brandon Carr) that were available at the position and they surprisingly passed on the plethora of buzzed-about corners (Marlon Humphrey, Adoree' Jackson, Tre'Davious White) that were on the board at #14 in favor of adding to their embarrassment of riches at edge-rusher by selecting Derek Barnett. They deserve some praise for landing a potential stud in Sidney Jones in the 2nd round, but the torn Achilles he suffered at his pro day in March will likely keep him out for the duration of the season. Then the Bills, who decided to go into full-blown tank mode after the 1st week of training camp, descended from the heavens to help them potentially solve their lack of a top corner problem for the 2017 season by trading them Ronald Darby in exchange for underachieving WR Jordan Matthews on August 11th. Despite his underwhelming sophomore season in 2016, Darby has all the traits of a top NFL corner (physicality, ball skills, fluid footwork) and with an overpowering pass-rush in front of him and a great defensive coordinator in Jim Schwartz running the show, he's in an excellent position to further develop in this organization. If Darby can consistently play like he did during his rookie year, this will go down as another lopsided trade win for grade-A finesser Howie Roseman.

-Since he has a front office role with the team, I'm going to use this space to bitch about Brian Dawkins getting snubbed from the Pro Football Hall of Fame in his 1st year of eligibility. Dawkins was arguably the most imposing safety of the 2000's and his resume is one of the most impressive of any defensive back to every play in the league (9x Pro Bowl, 6x All-Pro, 1st player in NFL history to record 30 career interceptions and forced fumbles, only player in NFL history to record 25+ sacks, INT's and forced fumbles in their career). How the Hall-of-Fame voters deemed Morten Andersen, Kurt Warner and JERRY FUCKING JONES worthy of enshrining over Dawkins (or fellow unfathomable snubs Terrell Owens and Alan Faneca) this year is completely asinine to me.

Bottom Line:
If Carson Wentz and the back-end of the defense can improve, the Eagles could end up surprising in 2017.

Washington Redskins
2016 Record: 8-7-1 (3rd in NFC East)
Head Coach: Jay Gruden (3rd season)
Notable Additions: WR Terrelle Pryor, ILB Zach Brown, S D.J. Swearinger
Notable Departures: WR DeSean Jackson, WR Pierre Garcon, DT/DE Chris Baker
-In the football wonderland that is Washington D.C., being a quarterback that throws for nearly 5,000 yards in a season isn't enough to secure a long-term contract. The Redskins once again proved their impressive ability to piss all over any good thing that falls into their lap by franchising poor Kirk Cousins for a 2nd straight season. Not only is the move insulting to a quarterback that has repeatedly  proven he can be a productive starter in the NFL, it also makes zero sense from a financial standpoint. Cousins would likely command $12-14 mil a year in guaranteed money on a long-tem deal, but since the Redskins brass are a bunch of petty, inept dinguses, they now have to fork over $23.9 mil in guaranteed money for 2017. I expect Cousins to ball out once again in 2017 and finally escape Dan Snyder's gridiron purgatory for the (ever so slightly) greener pastures of San Francisco or Jacksonville next season.

-Although free-agent pickup Terrelle Pryor has been positioned as the de facto top receiver since he signed with the team in March, I think that Jamison Crowder will end up with that role when the season starts. Crowder's chemistry with Kirk Cousins has been great since he joined the team in 2015 and his valuable strong route-running/YAC combo makes him the favorite to fill the possession receiver role that was vacated by Pierre Garcon when he left for the 49ers in free agency. Pryor's size and speed will undoubtedly earn him a solid amount of targets, but Crowder's more polished skill set makes him a more natural fit for the go-to receiver role in this pass-happy offense.

-Outside of Seattle, there isn't a less intriguing starting running back competition than the one going on in D.C. right now. The heated battle for who will touch the ball on the 12-14 plays a game where Cousins isn't dropping back to pass is currently a 2-horse race between incumbent starter "Fat" Rob Kelley and rookie Samaje Perine. Kelley seemed like a logical choice to remain the starter given his relative effectiveness in 9 games as the Skins featured back last season (704 YDS and 6 TD's on 168 carries), but the team was reportedly very high on Perine, who was drafted in the 4th round this year, going into training camp. Unsurprisingly, Kelley has looked better every step of the way since camp opened and is going to have to make some colossal fuck-ups over the next 2 weeks in order to lose the job to Perrine. Stay tuned for Jay Gruden's very dramatic announcement for which of these middling power backs gets the coveted honor of being the team's rarely-deployed change-of-pace option sometime next week.

-The 2016 numbers might not back it up (28th in total yards allowed, 25th against the pass, 19th in scoring defense) but there's a solid amount of talent present on this defense. Josh Norman is one of only a handful of true shutdown corners in the league right now, their pass-rush headed by Ryan Kerrigan and Preston Smith has been quietly excellent over the past few years and the influx of promising young talent they have on the roster right now (defensive tackle/end Jonathan Allen, safety Su'a Cravens, cornerbacks Bashaud Breeland and Kendall Fuller) is absurd. The untapped potential of this defense makes the hiring of Greg Manusky as defensive coordinator an absurdly confusing move. For those who don't know, Manusky was the architect of the Colts innovative mannequin defense that got Biblically steamrolled by the Patriots in the 2013 and 2014 playoffs. To be fair, Manusky has much more talent at his disposal here than he did during his time in Indy, but he's not a guy I would entrust with trying to turn a flawed group with some excellent pieces into a sound, productive collective.

Bottom Line:
Despite limited roster turnover and the presence of a reliable veteran quarterback, I have a bad feeling that this team won't be able to win more than 6 or 7 games this year.

Projected Standings
1.New York Giants (10-6)
2.Philadelphia Eagles (9-7)
3.Dallas Cowboys (7-9)
4.Washington Redskins (6-10)

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The Best and Worst of Elle Fanning

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "Leap!" star Elle Fanning.

Films starring Elle Fanning that I've seen:
Daddy Day Care
Deja Vu
Super 8
We Bought a Zoo
Maleficent
Trumbo
Live by Night
20th Century Women

Best Performance: Live by Night (2016)
Fanning had never really stood out among the vast sea of talented young actresses that are in Hollywood right now until I saw Live by Night. Her powerful supporting turn as a teenage drug addict turned preacher was the most impressive part of Ben Affleck's underrated gangster movie.

Worst Performance: Maleficent (2014)
The somewhat dark, live-action reimagining of Sleeping Beauty that focuses on the titular villain ended up being the most pleasant surprise the Disney machine has churned out in ages. Despite the film's overall competency, Fanning's work as Princess Aurora left a lot to be desired. She lacks the level of magnetic charm that defines Disney's best heroines and unlike her impressive recent work, fails to convincingly sell the film's dramatic scenes. 

Best Film: Super 8 (2011)
Nostalgia has become a staple of modern filmmaking and this is without question one of most authentic-feeling, engaging and flat-out best odes to a bygone era that I've ever seen. With its immensely likable group of child protagonists, an intriguing central mystery and a feeling of wonder that runs through the entire film, Super 8 would've nicely fit alongside any of Steven Spielberg's sci-fi gems from the late 70's/early 80's. Now that he's no longer tied to either the Star Trek or Star Wars franchises, I hope Abrams will make another original sci-fi movie ASAP.

Worst Film: Daddy Day Care (2003)
For a 19-year old actress whose been working in the industry since she was 4, the lowlight on Fanning's resume could/should be a whole lot more embarrassing than Daddy Day Care. While far from Eddie Murphy's worst starring vehicle, Daddy Day Care is never funny or touching enough to rise above mediocrity.

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Goon: Last of the Enforcers" star Seann William Scott.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

10 Most Anticipated Films of Fall 2017

While it's kind of unbelievable to think about, the start of the fall movie season is just 11 days away. September-December has a tendency to be the most varied, interesting stretch of the calendar year and 2017 is no exception to that long-standing unofficial rule. From high-profile sequels to beloved films (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Kingsman: The Golden Circle) to original projects from some of the industry's most exciting directors (mother!, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri) to ambitious awards contenders (Downsizing, The Shape of Water), there's ample reason to believe that this wild cinematic year will end on a soaring high note. Here are the 10 films I'm most excited to see over the final four months of 2017.

10.Pitch Perfect 3 (12/22): I'm not even remotely ashamed to admit that watching the Barden Bellas pitch-slap bitches one last time is going to be the highlight of my holiday season.

9.Thor: Ragnarok (11/3):
The Comic-Con trailer was far more generic-looking than I expected it to be given its quirky, buddy movie premise, but I'm still really intrigued to see how oddball indie comedy director Taika Waititi (What We Do in the Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople) handles a major superhero property.

8.Molly's Game (11/22): After developing a reputation as one of the sharpest screenwriters in Hollywood, Aaron Sorkin is finally making his directorial debut with a fact-based story about a former Olympic skier (Jessica Chastain) that ran a successful high-stakes underground poker game in Los Angeles for a decade before getting brought down by the FBI for her role in a prolific gambling ring. The fascinating real-life premise paired with the presence of a pair of ace actors in Chastain and Idris Elba in the leading roles inspires a lot of confidence about the potential quality of Sorkin's first foray into the world of directing.

7.The Snowman (10/20):
I'm a sucker for murder mysteries, and this one starring Michael Fassbender as an elite detective trying to stop a deranged serial killer that emerges after every first snowfall looks particularly tense and unsettling.     

6.Downsizing (12/22):
The premise is fascinating (it's too complicated to describe in this quick write-up, but it involves a future where humans can voluntary get shrunken down to the size of action figures), the ensemble cast is stacked (Matt Damon, Kristen Wiig, Christoph Waltz, Neil Patrick Harris, Alec Baldwin, Jason Sudekis, Margo Martindale, Niecy Nash) and I'm really curious to see how Alexander Payne (Nebraska, The Descendants) approaches a big-budget sci-fi flick. If this ends up building buzz after its premiere at the Venice Film Festival next week, it will move up a few spots on this list.

5.Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (11/10):
Martin McDonuagh (In Bruges, Seven Psychopaths) does blood-soaked dark comedy better than pretty much any other filmmaker working today and with yet another excellent cast (Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell, John Hawkes, Peter Dinklage) at his disposal, I fully expect him to once again deliver the depraved, hilarious goods.

4.Star Wars: The Last Jedi (12/15):
The Force Awakens was easily my favorite Star Wars movie since the original trilogy and I'm really excited to see what the next chapter holds for this fascinating band of characters.

3.Kingsman: The Golden Circle (9/22):
Kingsman: The Secret Service was a ridiculously fun satire of the spy movie genre that was better than 99% of the movies it was spoofing. With director Matthew Vaughn returning and the likes of Julianne Moore, Channing Tatum, Halle Berry and Jeff Motherfuckin' Bridges joining the cast, the sequel very well could end being better than its predecessor.

2.mother! (9/15): Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler) making his return to the world of mindfuckery cinema with a stacked cast (Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer, Domhnall Gleason, Kristen Wiig, Jovan Adepo) in tow is enough to get me to sprint to the theater on opening night.

1.The Disaster Artist (12/1):
I've been waiting to see The Disaster Artist for so long that I almost find it hard to believe that's actually going to see the light of day in just over three months. James Franco's adaptation of Greg Sestero's book detailing the behind-the-scenes making of The Room, which is widely considered to be one of the worst movies ever made, was met with a standing ovation during its premiere at South by Southwest in March and if the final product can match the brilliance of the teaser trailer that was released last month, it should go down as one of the best movies of 2017.

Also Interested In:
Goon: Last of the Enforcers (9/1)
I Do... Until I Don't (9/1)
The Layover (9/1)
Little Evil (9/1)
It (9/8)
American Assassin (9/15)
Brad's Status (9/15)
Battle of the Sexes (9/22)
The Lego Ninjago Movie (9/22)
Stronger (9/22)
American Made (9/29) 
Flatliners (9/29)
Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House (9/29)
Blade Runner 2049 (10/6)
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (10/6)
The Mountain Between Us (10/6)
The Foreigner (10/13) 
Goodbye Christopher Robin (10/13)
Happy Death Day (10/13)
Marshall (10/13)
Geostorm (10/20)
Killing Gunther (10/20)
Only the Brave (10/20)
Suburbicon (10/27)
Thank You for Your Service (10/27)
A Bad Moms Christmas (11/3)
Last Flag Flying (11/3)
LBJ (11/3)
Roman Israel, Esq (11/3)
Daddy's Home 2 (11/10)
Murder on the Orient Express (11/10)
Justice League (11/17)
Darkest Hour (11/22)
Death Wish (11/22)
Vila Capri (11/22)
Call Me by Your Name (11/24)
The Current War (11/24)
Wonder Wheel (12/1) 
All the Money in the World (12/8)
The Shape of Water (12/8) 
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (12/20) 
Bastards (12/22)
Bright (12/22)
The Papers (12/22)

Monday, August 21, 2017

Movie Review: The Hitman's Bodyguard

Whether it was intentional or not, The Hitman's Bodyguard comes off as a love letter to a bygone era of cinematic history. Patrick Hughes' loud, rambunctious shoot'em up is a reminder of a simpler time when action comedies were solely designed as team-up vehicles for charismatic actors. The dynamic pairing captaining this spastic, ultraviolent ship (Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L.Jackson) are exactly the type of well-matched duo you want running the show in this chemistry-driven genre. Watching these two titans of ass-kicking and sarcastic one-liners bicker, kill henchman and develop an "unlikely" bond while traveling across Europe for just under two hours is a constant delight. The electricity present in Reynolds and Jackson's performances helps keeps the energy level at a frenzied high and allows the healthy amount of absurdity present in Tom O'Connor's script to work without any party-derailing hiccups. If you're looking for a late-summer diversion that has plenty of action and a goofy, good-natured spirit that's reminiscent of the buddy movie classics of 20-30 years ago, you should have fun watching The Hitman's Bodyguard.    

3.5/5 Stars

Friday, August 18, 2017

2017 NFL Power Rankings: Preseason

I would be an irresponsible blogger if I let the NFL season start without dropping some preseason NFL power rankings for 2017. This batch of rankings is bound to be severely shaken up by the time mid-September rolls around, but it's always a good time to take a look at where the NFL hierarchy stands before the chaos of the regular season hits. Make sure you check back in mid-November and laugh at how naïve I was in mid-August.

1.New England Patriots
2.Atlanta Falcons
3.Pittsburgh Steelers
4.Green Bay Packers
5.Oakland Raiders
6.Seattle Seahawks
7.New York Giants
8.Dallas Cowboys
9.Kansas City Chiefs
10.Houston Texans
11.Tampa Bay Buccaneers
12.Detroit Lions
13.Miami Dolphins
14.Minnesota Vikings
15.Denver Broncos
16.Arizona Cardinals
17.Tennessee Titans
18.Baltimore Ravens
19.Philadelphia Eagles
20.Washington Redskins
21.New Orleans Saints
22.Carolina Panthers
23.Indianapolis Colts
24.Cincinnati Bengals
25.Los Angeles Chargers
26.Buffalo Bills
27.Jacksonville Jaguars
28.Los Angeles Rams
29.Chicago Bears
30.Cleveland Browns
31.San Francisco 49ers
32.New York Jets

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Movie Review: Wind River

For reasons that are unbeknownst to me, the stretch of the calendar between mid-August and mid-September has become the most unconventional time of the year for the film industry. With the spectacle of summer all but completely finished and the glamour of fall's prestige pics lurking on the horizon, Hollywood has recently decided to dedicate this part of the calendar to risks they can't afford to take at any other time of the year. Everything from oddball mid-budget fare that didn't fit in with their prime summer slate to low-budget horror flicks to well-reviewed indie fare to long-delayed crap that they didn't feel like releasing last winter makes its way into theaters during this four-to-five week transitional period. The quality of these films are clearly all over the map, but the level of genre diversity and original products that tend to hit the marketplace during this time makes it a very thrilling period for avid moviegoers. Wind River, the first high-profile directorial effort from Sicario and Hell or High Water writer Taylor Sheridan, is a premier example of the greatness that can be found during Hollywood's unofficial "Island of Misfit Toys" period.

When writers make the leap to directing, there's always a sense that they might be in over their head. Just because you know to how to craft an effective story doesn't mean you know how to handle actors, establish the proper tone, pick the right camera angles, etc. Sheridan is not one of those people. As a director working from his own screenplay, Sheridan knows every single beat he needs to hit in order to maximize the effectiveness of his story. The dialogue-driven scenes do an excellent job of helping flesh out the motivations of every character, the burst of tension/action are perfectly deployed to elevate the stakes of the central mystery throughout and the desolate atmosphere that runs through every frame meshes beautifully with the frigid, isolated backdrop of the Wyoming Indian Reservation where it takes place. His understanding of structure and the palpable confidence in which he executes his vision is absolutely incredible for a guy whose only directed one straight-to-VOD horror film (Vile) before this.  

The excellence of Wind River is further solidified by outstanding performances from Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen in the leading roles. Renner hasn't been this emotive or powerful on-screen since American Hustle while Olsen does an excellent job of reminding the world why she's one of the best young actresses in the industry after a string of middling turns as Scarlet Witch in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Sheridan's reliance on straightforward plots pushes the characters to the forefront of his work and the plethora of terrific actors he's worked with on his first three projects as a writer have helped his minimalist, human approach to storytelling become booming successes.

As great as Sicario and Hell or High Water are (they both finished just outside my top 10 films of 2015 and 2016 respectively), I believe Wind River is by far Sherdian's most impressive project to-date.  Top-notch genre filmmaking is an underappreciated artform and you aren't going to find too many entries in the time-tested murder mystery/thriller genre that are as well-constructed, engrossing and satisfying from start to finish as this. Fingers crossed that Wind River can follow Hell or High Water's lead and get some recognition come awards season.    

4.5/5 Stars

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

2017 NFL Preview: AFC West

Denver Broncos 
2016 Record: 9-7 (3rd in AFC West)
Head Coach: Vance Joseph (1st season)
Notable Additions: G Ronald Leary, RB Jammal Charles, T Menelik Watson
Notable Departures: DE DeMarcus Ware (retired), T Russell Okung, NT Sylvester Williams 

-Fans in the Mile High City have the distinct pleasure of sitting through a riveting QB battle between Trevor Siemian and Paxton Lynch for the 2nd consecutive year. As disheartening as it is for a fanbase that is just 4 years removed from watching Peyton Manning throw an NFL-record 55 TD's in a season to hear, Siemian appears to be the clear favorite to line up center for the Broncos in 2017. Denver's offense was at least semi-functional with Siemian at the helm last season and his chemistry with the team's top wideouts (Demaryius Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders) was solid throughout the year. Despite Siemian's respectable 1st season as a starter (3,401 YDS, 18 TD, 10 INT in 14 games), I can't help but think that Lynch has a realistic chance of stealing the job. The Broncos made a huge investment in the former University of Memphis standout by selecting him with the 26th overall pick in the 2016 NFL Draft and it's only a matter of time before the team wants to see if their faith in his ability to evolve into a franchise quarterback was justified. The common sense move would be to let Lynch, who looked like a lost puppy in his 2 starts last season, sit for another year while he gets acclimated with new offensive coordinator's Mike McCoy's system, but I wouldn't be shocked if the coaching staff forced him onto the field this season. Regardless of how this situation shakes out, Broncos nation are all but guaranteed to be dealing with another season of so-so play at the quarterback position.

-General manager John Elway has become known as a model front office leader during his 6 seasons on the job. His latest innovative piece of roster-building was changing the approach to his annual offensive line overhaul from trotting out inept clowns he selected in the early-to-mid rounds of the draft (Max Garcia, Michael Schofield, Ty Sambrailo) to signing every a-hole castoff from excellent offensive lines around the league. Ex-Cowboys guard Ronald Leary, you get a contract! Former Raiders tackle Menelik Watson, you get a contract! Journeyman guard Allen Barbre, who just got acquired from the Eagles, you get a contract! EVERYONE WHO PLAYED SPARINGLY ON AN ELITE OFFENSIVE LINE GETS A CONTRACT!!!!!!!! This ragtag group of rotational lineman will be rounded out by 25-year old rookie left tackle Garret Bolles, who is sure to emerge into the next Jonathan Ogden and definitely isn't the offensive lineman version of Brandon Weeden and center Matt Paradis, who is coming off an excellent 2016 season and could once again end up being the only success story in the group. O-line has been the only area Elway has consistently screwed up on during his tenure with the Broncos and it's going to be a Rudy-esque underdog story if this haphazardly-assembled group ends up stopping this extended streak of futility.

-Watching the Broncos defense play last season was a high-wire act full of awe-inspring highs and sprit-breaking lows. Their pass defense was pretty much impenetrable thanks to the continued dominance of their league-best corner duo of Aqib Talib and Chris Harris Jr. and their pass-rush led by sack artists Von Miller and Derek Wolfe was once again excellent (their 42 total sacks was tied for 3rd most in the NFL). However unlike their 2015 Super Bowl Champion team, the 2016 squad was helpless at stopping the run, ranking 28th in the league with an average of 130.3 yards allowed per game. 2017 looks like it's going to be more of the same. For some inexplicable reason, the Broncos didn't make any serious changes to the front 7 of their defense this offseason. The only new starter (the recently-retired DeMarcus Ware is being replaced in the starting lineup by Shane Ray, who started 8 games in 2016 while Ware missed time with elbow and back injuries) they brought in is geriatric defensive tackle Domata Peko, who honestly isn't much of an improvement over last year's horrific starter Sylvester Williams. Without any notable new blood on the roster, it's going to be up to the group's returning deadbeat starters (inside linebacker Todd Davis and defensive end Jared Crick) to improve this run-defense and ideally, help this group return to its elite all-around form of 2015.

-This narrative oddly hasn't come up much this offseason, but the hiring of Vance Joseph as head coach to replace Gary Kubiak, who was forced to retire from coaching due to medical issues, strikes me as a potentially damaging move for this franchise. Joseph, who was Kubiak's defensive backs coach for 3 seasons when he was with the Texans, has never had a head coaching before this and his middling work with the Dolphins last season in his only year as an NFL defensive coordinator doesn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence in his ability to lead a team. Not even the return of offensive coordinator Mike McCoy, who was with the team from 2010-2012, has me sold on the Joseph regime in Denver. None of the key personnel outside of wideout Demaryius Thomas was here during McCoy's previous tenure as OC, so the "familiarity" with his system that some of the beat writers/national reporters have been droning on about for the past 6 months doesn't really apply. Going from a staff full of wily veterans that have solid, if not excellent track records at their respective jobs (Kubiak, Rick Dennison, Wade Philips) to a group that largely lacks experience at their current positions (new defensive coordinator Joe Woods, who was promoted from defensive backs coach, is also a 1st-time shot caller) could be a hard pill to swallow for a team that is trying to bounce back from a disappointing season.

Bottom Line:
While the Broncos have too many elite players to be written off completely, their shaky QB situation horrific run D and 1st-time head coach make it hard to get overly excited about their team this season.

Kansas City Chiefs
2016 Record: 12-4 (1st in AFC West)
Head Coach: Andy Reid (5th season)
Notable Additions: DT Bennie Logan, DE Jarvis Jenkins, ILB Kevin Pierre-Louis  
 Notable Departures: WR Jeremy Maclin, RB Jammal Charles, DT Dontari Poe
-With their surprising decision to cut ties with top WR Jeremy Maclin in early June, the Chiefs have fully committed to All-Pro tight end Travis Kelce as their top receiving option. Kelce's reliable hands, strong short-to-intermediate route-running and status as a YAC (yards after catch) god make him a perfect fit for this offense. Unless the Chiefs can magically complete their seemingly eternal quest to find a true top wideout this season, I believe that Kelce has a great opportunity to top his career-best numbers (85 REC, 1,125 YDS, 4 TD) from a year ago.

-While Kelce is an elite tight end that arguably hasn't peaked yet, the lack of options behind him are alarming, even for a team is as reliant on the running game as the Chiefs are. Chris Conley's impressive athleticism is overshadowed by his terrible hands/route-running, notorious fantasy point stealer Albert Wilson is fortunate to still be on the roster and unlike every football fan in the Greater Kansas City area, I'm not convinced that Tyreek Hill can be anything more than a splash play-dependent gadget player in this league. Kelce is dynamic enough to make an impact almost every week, but without a reliable 2nd option to complement him, this team will more than likely be even less scary through the air than usual.

-Don't be stunned if rookie Kareem Hunt becomes the 2017 version of David Johnson or Jordan Howard by unseating veteran Spencer Ware as the team's starting running back at some point this season. Ware battled streaks of poor play (he failed to run for more 69 yards in the last 8 games of the season) and some fumbling issues (4 total, 3 lost in 14 games) during his 1st year as a starter in 2016, and Hunt strikes me as the type of under-the-radar, powerhouse back that could step in as an injury replacement and end up stealing the job on a permanent basis. While this clearly is by no means a guarantee, it'll be an intriguing situation to monitor as the season progresses.

-With the decision to replace rapidly-fading Dontari Poe with ex-Eagles standout Bennie Logan in free agency and outside linebacker Justin Houston returning to the fold at 100% health after missing 11 games last season, you can make a pretty strong case that the Chiefs are going to be the most improved defense in the NFL this season. While they still managed to be resilient enough to hold their opponents to under 20 points a game (19.4, 9th best in the league), their defense wasn't too  great on the whole. All-Pro seasons from cornerback Marcus Peters and safety Eric Berry kept the pass defense afloat, but their rush D (8th in 2015 to 26th in 2016) and sack total (47 to 28) suffered immensely without Houston in the lineup. 2 players joining an otherwise unchanged group might seem like too insignificant of an overhaul to make a notable difference, but both of these guys can make the type of impact that elevates this group back into the upper-echelon of defenses in the league. Logan is a run-stuffing specialist that should help immediately stabilize the interior defensive line that Poe let turn to hell over the past 2 seasons and if Houston can return to be the human wrecking ball he was prior to suffering an injury, him and Dee Ford, whose 10 sacks accounted for most of the team's pass-rushing in 2017, have a pretty good shot of turning into the one of the most feared edge-rushing duos in the league. Defense has defined the Chiefs for most of the past decade and after a pretty sizable regression last season, it should once again in 2017.

-While it's unlikely to have any ramifications on the 2017 season, the Chiefs decision to trade up to #10 overall to select Patrick Mahomes makes no sense. Putting a mobile gunslinger with a cannon arm in the most conservative passing offense in the NFL is like putting Speed Racer behind the wheel of a fucking Prius. Andy Reid's love affair with quick screens and shovel passes goes completely against the Texas Tech's products strengths as a quarterback (which as of right now, are exclusively throwing long bombs with astonishing accuracy and evading pressure with his solid mobility). The polarizing rookie has the luxury of sitting behind Alex Smith for at least the next 2 seasons, but unless Reid opens up the offense to tailor to his young quarterback's strengths or he can develop into a more versatile pocket passer before he gets handed the reigns, I don't see Mahomes thriving on this team.

Bottom Line:
The Chiefs continuity gives them a solid shot of returning to the playoffs, but their offense is too vanilla and weak at the skill positions to take them seriously as contenders in the AFC.

Los Angeles Chargers
2016 Record: 5-11 (4th in AFC West)
Head Coach: Anthony Lynn (1st season)
Notable Additions: T Russell Okung, S Tre Boston, RB Kenjon Barner
Notable Departures: RB Danny Woodhead, CB Brandon Flowers (retired), G D.J. Fluker

-It's mid-August, which means the Chargers are already getting a nice head start on filling up their injured reserve. Through 2 weeks of training camp and 1 preseason game, the team has already lost projected starting guard Forrest Lamp (torn ACL), rookie wide receiver and top-10 overall pick Mike Williams (phantom back injury) and starting inside linebacker Denzel Perryman (torn ankle ligament) for a significant amount of time. Tune in Week 3 when 60% of this eternally snake-bitten team's key players are rocking basketball shorts and earbuds on the sideline.

-No 2017 head coach hiring made less sense to me than Anthony Lynn. Dumping Mike McCoy for another offensive-minded guy with a resume that's nowhere near as impressive is such a textbook Dean Spanos move that it almost seems like a cruel joke. The crowning achievement of Lynn's 14-game stint as the Bills offensive coordinator was presiding over the top rushing offense in football, which is immediately undercut once you find out that Greg Roman (aka the man he replaced in Week 3 last season) managed to accomplish the exact same feat the year before. The odds of Lynn's ground-and-pound philosophy having the same level of effectiveness with Melvin Gordon running behind guys like Matt Slauson, Joe Barksdale and Russell Okung that it did with LeSean McCoy running behind a line with 3 Pro Bowlers on it (Richie Incognito, Cordy Glenn, Eric Wood) is highly unlikely. To top it all off,  Lynn has already managed to disrespect the team's 2 most respected leaders (quarterback Phillip Rivers and tight end Antonio Gates) by reportedly refusing to let them attend the Hall-of-Fame induction of their former teammate LaDanian Tomlinson. If I were to bet on any new coach losing their job after 1 season, I would every penny I had on Lynn.

-Since arriving in the grand city of Los Angeles, the Chargers PR team has been pushing the fact they're "temporarily" playing in a 20,000-capacity soccer stadium to try and bring in fans. Not to be hyperbolic, but this is an absolutely brilliant move on their part. The intimate setting of the StubHub Center will be cool for the opposing team's fans to experience 8 times a year and force the Chargers to run even more silent-counts on their home field than they did in San Diego, which is a moving tribute to the 12 people (which is approximately 40% of their old fanbase) that begrudgingly stuck with the team after they relocated. Whoever came up with this ingenious marketing campaign deserves a raise stat.

-Whether he likes it or not, wide receiver Keenan Allen has become the poster boy for the Chargers status as the most snake-bitten team in the NFL. Allen has arguably been the brightest offensive talent to enter the Chargers organization since Antonio Gates and the rapport he's developed with quarterback Phillip Rivers in such a short period of time is astonishing, but a slew of injuries including back-to-back season-ending ailments (kidney laceration and torn ACL respectively) have prevented him from blossoming into a top-tier WR. Fortunately for Allen, time is on his side. He only turned 25 in April and the Chargers expressed their confidence in his ability to be a long-term factor on this team when they signed him to a 4-year extension prior to last season. If Allen can remain healthy and retain the level of dominance he flashed in the past, the Chargers could end up surpassing expectations in 2017.

-If anything is going to help the Chargers break out of their cycle of perpetual misery, it's their defense. This group has a nice combination of players entering their prime (cornerback Casey Hayward, defensive end Melvin Ingram) and promising young talent (reigning Defensive ROY Joey Bosa, cornerback Jason Verrett, outside linebacker Jatavis Brown) spread throughout their ranks and new defensive coordinator Gus Bradley is the type of coach that could push them to a whole other stratosphere of production. As a fellow fan of a team that's stuck in the league's basement, I know that it's nice to have little rays of sunshine to give you (often false) hope for the future, and this group offers up PLENTY of the necessary mental comfort food that helps you get through a double-digit loss season.

Bottom Line:
New city, same fanless, injury-riddled Chargers.

Oakland Raiders
2016 Record: 12-4 (2nd in AFC West)
Head Coach: Jack Del Rio (3rd season)
Notable Additions: RB Marshawn Lynch, TE Jared Cook, WR Cordarrelle Patterson
Notable Departures: RB Latavius Murray, ILB Malcolm Smith, T Menelik Watson

-After a phenomenal 3rd season in the pro's that saw him parlay the immense potential he showed during his first 2 years in the league into something truly special, the Raiders unsurprisingly decided to give Derek Carr a historic payday (5 year/$125 mil/$70.5 mil guaranteed). Now that Reggie McKenzie and Mark Davis have given him his lucrative contract extension, Carr needs to go out and prove that he's an undisputed franchise quarterback. He was playing like a legit MVP candidate before he went down with a broken fibula against the Colts in Week 16, so there's absolutely no reason that he should suddenly regress now that he's back at 100% with the same group of guys that he won 12 games with a season ago. This Raiders squad is in a terrific position for the foreseeable future and if they want to become the team that ends the Patriots decade-and-a-half reign of terror on the piss-weak AFC, Carr is going to have to play his off every single year.

-Nothing else that occurred this offseason brought me more joy than when the news broke that running back Marshawn Lynch was going to come out of retirement to play for his hometown Oakland Raiders. As delighted as I am to have Beast Mode back in the NFL, I'm skeptical that his comeback is going to be a rousing success. His last season with the Seahawks in 2015 was defined by injuries and mediocre play (he only ran for 417 yards and 3 TD's in 7 games) and even with a year away from the game, the harsh reality is that he's a 31-year old back whose trademark punishing running style puts him at an even higher risk of tapering off than most backs at his advanced age (31 is pretty much 70 in RB years). That being said, the Raiders give Lynch the best possible chance of ending his career on a more positive note. Their offensive line is among the best in football and they have dense cache of weapons in the passing game (Amari Cooper, Michael Crabtree, Seth Roberts, new-acquisition Jared Cook) that should give Lynch more open tackle boxes in the first few games than he faced during his entire 6-year stint in Seattle. I'm crossing my fingers that he can return to his crushing form and end up being the missing piece that pushes this Raiders squad from surprise playoff team in 2016 to legit contenders in 2017.

-Unlike a lot of defenses that finished in the bottom-3rd of the league in 2016 (23rd against the run, 24th against the pass, 20th in points allowed per game), there's reason to believe that the Raiders can make a huge swing in the other direction this season. They've accomplished the hardest parts of building a good defense by bringing in a talented top corner that can shutdown pretty much any wideout in the league (Sean Smith), some skilled edge-defenders (Bruce Irvin, Mario Edwards Jr.) that can prevent huge outside runs from happening and get after the quarterback, hard-nosed young defensive backs with sky-high ceilings (David Amerson, Karl Joseph) and of course, the elusive transcendent talent that can take over games (and occasionally dictate outcomes) by himself (reigning Defensive Player of the Player Khalil Mack). Now the Raiders just need to nail down the smaller, more unsung roles in order to make their desired leap up the league's defensive power rankings. Their attempt to fill the void at these not-so-glamorous positions (inside linebacker, slot corner) in 2017 appears to be rookies Marquel Lee and Gareon Conley. While trusting rookies with (potential) starting roles right away is always a nerve-racking dice roll, it's hard to believe that these young guys will be much of a downgrade from previous starters Malcolm Smith and D.J Hayden-who were among the biggest coverage liabilities in the league over the past couple of seasons. Lee isn't super athletic or fast, but his discipline and instincts are excellent for a young linebacker while Conley displayed excellent ball skills and sure-tackling during his tenure at Ohio State. This young duo paired with the continued strong play of their established, big-name starters could prove to be the X-factor for the 2017 Raiders.

Bottom Line:
With a deep, talented-loaded offense and defense with some exciting young players, the Raiders are the only AFC team that even has a shot of spoiling the Patriots Super Bowl run in 2017.
    
Projected Standings
1.Oakland Raiders (12-4)
2.Kansas City Chiefs (10-6)
3.Denver Broncos (7-9)
4.Los Angeles Chargers (4-12)

Monday, August 14, 2017

The Best and Worst of Daniel Craig

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "Logan Lucky" star Daniel Craig.

Films starring Daniel Craig that I've seen:
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Road to Perdition 
Layer Cake
Casino Royale
Quantum of Solace
Cowboys & Aliens
Dream House
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Adventures of Tintin
Skyfall
Spectre

Best Performance: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
With films like Skyfall and Layer Cake, Craig has established himself as a pretty reliable action movie badass. However, the 49-year old Brit ,whose resume primarily consists of big-budget, stunt-filled spectacles- finest hour came in his co-leading role in the American version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Craig got out of his usual, hardened tough guy element with an understated, laser-focused and subtly vulnerable turn as a disgraced Swedish journalist that gets wrapped up in solving a decades-old missing persons case.     

Worst Performance: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
Craig became an international superstar a decade ago thanks to his gritty portrayal of James Bond. If you had watched him sleepwalk through the role of Alex West in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider five years before he first appeared as 007 in Casino Royale, his future success as an action hero would've seemed like a stretch to say the least. Despite being one of the film's main characters, Craig is so charmless and wooden every second he's on screen that I'd pretty much forgotten he was in it.

Best Film: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) 
David Fincher's version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo permanently shut down the "American remakes of foreign film are worthless" take that film elitists scream from the virtual mountaintops every time Hollywood adapts a beloved non-English language film. With its masterful slow-burn pacing and stunning performances from its entire primary cast (Rooney Mara, Craig, Stellan Skarsgard, Christopher Plummer), Fincher was able to make an engrossing, atmospheric and remarkably tense mystery/thriller that greatly exceeded the quality of the Swedish original. 

Worst Film: Dream House (2011) 
To be fair, Dream House isn't an aggressively terrible movie. Hell, there was a number of horror-thrillers that came out the same year (The Roommate, The Rite, Shark Night 3D, Straw Dogs, Apollo 18) that made it seem like the apex of cinema. However, it's a still below average thriller that wastes its creepy atmosphere and decent acting on a dull story full of weak, obvious plot twists.    

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Leap!" star Elle Fanning.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

5 Highly Ranked Players to Avoid in Fantasy Football: 2017 Edition

Every year I dawn my douchey fantasy football authoritarian  hat and put out a list of highly-touted players that I believe are horrible value picks. After weeks of thumbing through projections from the so-called "experts" and doing a healthy amount of mock drafts, the 2017 edition of this useless public service has finally arrived. Here are the 5 guys (plus an additional 3 "honorable" mentions at each position) I think should be avoided at their current ADP.

Quarterback: Andrew Luck (Colts) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 47.3 ESPN: 69.6 NFL.com: 52.5)
I absolutely love Andrew Luck as both a real-life and fantasy quarterback, but with his availability for the start of the season currently in question, I just can't justify spending a 4th or 5th round pick on him when there's comparable talents with a clean bill of health (Russell Wilson, Matt Ryan, Jameis Winston) getting selected around the same point.
Honorable Mentions (aka "Also going too high"): Marcus Mariota (Titans), Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Phillip Rivers (Chargers)

Running Back: Melvin Gordon (Chargers) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 10.6 ESPN: 10.8 NFL.com: 11.3)
The lack of depth at running back has forced a disturbing, head-scratching trend of fantasy players overdrafting unproven talent on average-to-bad teams (Jordan Howard, Jay Ajayi, Leonard Fournette) in the first 15-20 picks to emerge this season. Of these young, untrustworthy RB1's, none are more overvalued than Melvin Gordon. Gordon averaged just under 4 yards per carry last season, has missed multiple games in each of his first 2 NFL seasons (2 in 2015 and 3 in 2016) and most importantly, has a horrific offensive line in front of him that already lost a starter for the year (RIP Forrest Lamp). I'd rather grossly overdraft a proven stud QB like Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady or Drew Brees with a late 1st round pick than spend one on a 3rd-year back who has no 1,000-yard rushing seasons under his belt and possesses a floor that's well below top 11 overall pick.

Honorable Mentions: Leonard Fournette (Jaguars), Joe Mixon (Bengals), Mike Gillislee (Patriots)

Wide Receiver: Tyreek Hill (Chiefs) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 51.2 ESPN: 59.6 NFL.com: 49.8)
Tyreek Hill has been anointed the Chiefs de facto top WR after the release of Jeremy Maclin, but I'm not sold on the idea of him suddenly getting flooded with targets now that the 29-year old Pro Bowler is out of the equation. Andy Reid primarily utilized Hill as a gadget player (355 of his 860 total yards last season came on 8 plays) to offer up a reprieve from the Chiefs' usual short-pass/run-based offense and even with the group of well below-average clowns that are currently beside him in the receiving corps (Chris Conley is currently penciled in as the other starter), I don't foresee him shifting to a more traditional outside/slot receiver role this season. Hill didn't leave his role as the offense's Swiss Army Knife while Maclin struggled to produce for the bulk of last season and reigning 1st-team All-Pro tight end Travis Kelce, who led the team in receptions and receiving yards in 2016, should once again be the clear focal point of the passing attack. In addition to Hill's specialist-esque role in the Chiefs ultra-conservative offense, I also have a feeling that opposing defenses are going to start scheming against his splash play-dependent skill set in his sophomore season and not let him get as many uncontested free-runs to the endzone as he did as a rookie. Unless your league counts kick return yards/TD's towards individual scoring, Hill should be avoided as a WR2/3.
Honorable Mentions: Brandin Cooks (Patriots), Davante Adams (Packers), Keenan Allen (Chargers)

Tight End: Rob Gronkowski (Patriots) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 25.6 ESPN: 23.0 NFL.com: 22.0)
Every fantasy football player around the globe knows how much of a monster Rob Gronkowski is when he's healthy. He has 3 1,000+ yards seasons on his resume, has put up double-digit TD's every single season he's appeared in 11 or more games (5 out of 7 seasons in the league) and is the 1st tight end since future Hall-of-Famer Tony Gonzalez to be considered a perennial top-20 overall pick. That being said, his extensive injury history combined with his standing in a Patriots offense that prides itself on getting as many people as humanly possible involved in the passing game on a weekly basis make him an unnecessary risk at his current ADP (late 2nd-early 3rd round). 
Honorable Mentions: Jordan Reed (Redskins), Tyler Eifert (Bengals), Eric Ebron (Lions)

Defense: Arizona Cardinals (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 84.9 ESPN: 155.8 NFL.com: 94.3)
No this isn't a typo, I'm pretty much only the moron in this lovely fictional football realm that's down on a defense that finished number 1 in fantasy points in most leagues last season. While the pass-rush led by Chandler Jones and Markus Golden should remain excellent, I think that the losses of star defensive lineman Calias Campbell and safety Tony Jefferson is going to effect their points allowed and takeaway total.
Honorable Mentions: Carolina Panthers, Baltimore Ravens, Los Angeles Rams

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

2017 NFL Preview: AFC South

Houston Texans
2016 Record: 9-7 (1st in AFC South)
Head Coach: Bill O'Brien (4th season)
Notable Additions: T Breno Giacomini, ILB Sio Moore, CB Marcus Roberson
Notable Departures: QB Brock Osweiler, CB A.J. Bouye, S Quentin Demps

-Rick Smith was able to undo the biggest mistake of his 11-year tenure as the Texans GM by somehow finding a team that was willing to take on Brock Osweiler's ridiculous contract. In a twist that shouldn't really surprise anyone, the brave squad that was willing to accept a trade offer involving the grossly overpaid signalcaller was the Browns. The sabermetric-obsessed Browns gleefully agreed to dish out $19 million to Osweiler for the 2017 season, simply so they could add another 2nd round selection to their overflowing aresenal of future draft picks. It's one of the most jaw-dropping yet subtly ingenious transactions I've ever seen in the NFL and I doubt that the Texans have ever been happier to trade a draft pick in their brief existence as a franchise.

-With Osweiler out of the equation, the Texans appear to be set to (temporarily) turn over the reigns to Tom Savage. While he has yet to throw a touchdown as a pro, the 27-year old still managed to serviceable in the 3 games he appeared (461 YDS, 63.0 CMP% 0 INT's) in last season before going down with a concussion in Week 17. This defense is good enough to carry the Texans to another title in the sorry-ass AFC South, so as long as Savage can master the art of the dump-off pass and not turn the ball over at an Osweiler or Blake Bortles-esque level before they let him walk in free agency to make way for this year's 1st-round draft pick DeShaun Watson, they'll be fine.


-Savage and head coach/offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien got handed a big bag of shit when 2nd-year wideout Will Fuller went down with a broken collarbone during a training camp practice last week. Fuller may fallen off like crazy after a solid start to his rookie campaign a year ago, but his top-end speed at least gives O'Brien a constant splash-play threat to place next to firmly-entrenched top wideout DeAndre Hopkins. Now the team is left scrambling to find a starter from a trash heap of unattractive options. Converted college quarterback Braxton Miller is still far too raw to be trusted with a prominent role in the passing attack, Jaelen Strong has failed to make any plays that weren't fluke hail marys against the Colts, Devin Street is coming off a season where he hauled in a whopping 1 pass and Dres Anderson was an early cut by the Bears, whose receiver room currently includes such studs as Markus Wheaton, Reuben Randle and the rhythmic particles of dust that used to be Victor Cruz. If all hell breaks loose and Hopkins goes down sometime before Fuller returns, the Texans will be a Jets-level of fucked at the receiver position.

-2016 proved that the Texans defense doesn't need J.J Watt to succeed. As Watt spent the final 14 games on the sideline, his teammates managed to post very good numbers across the board (1st in yards allowed, 2nd in pass defense, 11th in run defense) and finish as the 11th ranked scoring defense in the league. With the 3-time Defensive Player of the Year reportedly returning at 100% after undergoing back surgery last September (his 2nd in a 2-month period), a series of interesting questions arise about what effect his presence will have on the functionally of this group. Will Watt's return stunt the growth of rising young stars Jadeveon Clowney and Whitney Mercilius? Is Watt comfortable letting other players emerge as vocal leaders or will he double-down on his attention-whore persona and ensure the spotlight is only on him? And most importantly, will the 28-year old still be able to play his bruising style of football after undergoing multiple major injuries in the past 2 seasons? In an ideal scenario, Watt's physicality won't drop off in the slightest and his disruptive presence upfront will make this talent-loaded unit even better than they were a season ago. At worst, he won't be the player he once was or his return will screw up this group's dynamic and force a surprise regression to happen. Logic would point to the former being the case, but Watt's potential physical decline and domineering presence on-and-off-the field could have a negative effect on the togetherness this group played with in his absence.

-The Texans currently have the rare luxury of letting notable players leave in free agency without suffering any serious loss of talent. Their excellent depth throughout the defense allowed them to let cornerback A.J. Bouye, safety Quentin Demps and outside linebacker John Simon walk this offseason without even batting an eye. On the flip side, their lack of new additions is also kind of worrisome. The biggest potential impact veteran they brought in this offseason was ex-Jets right tackle Breno Giacomini, who is currently locked in a position battle with incumbent starter Chris Clark. This is a team that struggled to go 9-7 in 2016 and unless some of their draft picks make a monumental impact right away (I'm looking at you Zach Cunningham and D'Onta Foreman), they're unlikely to be much better this season. 

Bottom Line:
The Texans once again have enough defensive talent to win their division yet not enough offensive firepower to contend with the AFC's best teams.

Indianapolis Colts
2016 Record: 8-8 (3rd in AFC South)
Head Coach: Chuck Pagano (6th season)
Notable Additions: DT Jonathan Hankins, OLB Jabbal Sheard, OLB John Simon
Notable Departures: P Pat McAfee (retired), S Mike Adams, TE Dwayne Allen

-After 5 years of poor drafting and misguided free agent signings, Jim Irsay pulled the plug on much-maligned general manager Ryan Grigson in mid-January. This move was long overdue, but at least Irsay finally rid this organization of the man that stunted any chance the team had of growing after they drafted young stars Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton in 2012. Grigson was replaced by former Chiefs front office assistant Chris Ballard, who went onto to put together a pretty impressive haul in his inaugural season as the Colts front office shot caller. Ballard addressed the team's hole-filled defense with a plethora of affordable, potential impact free agent signings (defensive tackle Jonathan Hankins, outside linebackers Jabbal Sheard and John Simon, inside linebacker Sean Spence) and brought in a draft class that is loaded with numerous high-upside prospects (safety Malik Hooker, cornerback Quincy Wilson, edge rusher Tarral Basham, running back Marlon Mack). While there's clearly no way to tell if Ballard's moves will help elevate the Colts from their 2-year mediocrity slump right now, he's already managed put more effort into trying to address the team's needs than Grigson did during his entire tenure.


-For a team that's looking to break out of a funk, the news that broke last Tuesday about Andrew Luck potentially missing the first 6 games of the season as he recovers from offseason surgery on his throwing shoulder was devastating. Luck's low-key excellent 2016 (63.5 CMP %, 4,240 YDS, 31 TD, 13 INT in 15 games) was the only reason the team cracked .500 and without him on the field, they would likely crumble into complete disarray. Current backup Scott Tolzien boasts a 0-2-1 career record as a starter and has thrown multiple interceptions in all 3 of those games. I'm not even a Colts fan and reading that stat still made me want to projectile vomit all over my keyboard. If a situation arises where Tolzien has to step in for any substantial length of time, this squad's hopes of returning to the playoffs for the 1st time since 2014 are pretty much dead and buried.

- 2017 is a crucial year for the development of this offensive line. For the 1st time in a long time, there's actually reason for optimism when you look at the Colts o-line group. Center Ryan Kelly had a pretty decent rookie year in 2016, Jack Mewhort has played well whenever he's been at his natural position of guard and left tackle Anthony Castonzo is a reliable performer that's currently in the middle of his prime. However, that's not to say there isn't still some reason for concern with this group. Young guns Joe Haeg and Le'Raven Clark didn't display the same level of polish or consistency as Kelly did in his rookie year and have the unfortunate distinction of being raw, inexperienced players playing on the same side of the line. There may be more talent present than there was in the Mike McGlynn/Samson Satele/Gosder Cherlius days, but unless they can establish some consistency and stability across the entire group, this revamped o-line will be deemed yet another failure for the long-suffering Colts.

Bottom Line:
Without the guarantee of a healthy Luck for the entire season, the Colts are more than likely going to miss the playoffs for the 4th straight season. 

Jacksonville Jaguars
2016 Record: 3-13 (4th in AFC South)
Head Coach: Doug Marrone (1st season)
Notable Additions: DT Calias Campbell, CB A.J. Bouye, S Barry Church
Notable Departures: S Jonathan Cyprien, CB Prince Amukamara, TE Julius Thomas

-Even with the team's decision to exercise his 5th-year option and keep him under team control through the 2018 season, 2017 is going to be a make-or-break year for Blake Bortles in Jacksonville. The former top-5 pick undid any of the goodwill he earned during his perceived breakout 2015 campaign with an underwhelming 2016 that saw his TD total dip from 35 to 23 and already-maligned throwing mechanics fit a new level of sloppiness (sup Tebow-esque sidearm). Even as a person who has unreasonable amount of faith in Bortles, it's hard for me to envision a scenario where he magically fixes his ailments in a single offseason. New head coach Doug Marrone retained Nathaniel Hackett, whose has worked with Bortles since the 2015 season, as offensive coordinator, new front office minion Tom Coughlin reportedly doesn't envision him as the team's long-term starter and  decisionmaking/delivery deficiencies are damn near impossible for a quarterback to correct in a such a short period of time. A rapid level of development that he has yet to display during his professional career paired with a tsunami of good fortune (aka a bunch of players overachieve and the teams ends up winning 8-10 games) is the only way Bortles will be able to keep his job past this season.

-To be honest, the best bet of the Jags offense getting back on track doesn't even lie on their embattled QB's shoulders. That's right, the most viable potential savior of this offense is rookie running back Leonard Fournette. Part of the reason Bortles and co. struggled so mightily last season was due to their inability to run the ball. Chris Ivory and T.J. Yeldon couldn't generate a god damn thing whenever they touched the ball (they combined for 904 yards on 247 carries), which forced their erratic, gunslinging quarterback to throw more than he should've. While there's questions about his durability and the talent level of the guys upfront that are blocking for him, Fournette has the potential to be the type of 3-down back you can run your offense through. At 6'1, 228 lbs, he has the devastating speed, size and power combo that every NFL team dreams of having in their backfield. The presence of a reliable workhorse back would bring a much-needed sense of balance to this group and take some of the pressure off of Bortles to be the sole creator of offense.

-The plus side of the Jags non-stop losing is the plethora of available cap space they have to go out and sign pretty much any free agent they want. Their 2017 haul might have been their most impressive to-date. Defensive tackle/end Calias Campbell is a versatile, well-rounded monster upfront that also happens to be one of the best locker room leaders in the league, cornerback A.J Bouye is a burgeoning menace in the slot and safety Barry Church is a run-stuffing specialist coming off a career-best year with the Cowboys. Putting more high-caliber veteran along talents alongside outside linebacker Telvin Smith, promising young corner Jalen Ramsey and last year's big-ticket signing defensive tackle Malik Jackson should help this mostly young unit make another substantial leap forward in 2017.

-There's nothing about this Branden Albert situation that isn't hilarious. The Jags acquired the 32-year old Pro Bowler from the Dolphins for pretty much nothing (tight end Julius Thomas and a 6th-round draft pick) in late February with the hopes that he would be a viable short-term solution to the left tackle woes that have plagued them since they dealt Eugene Monroe 4 games into the 2013 season. Then Albert gets a few days into training camp and decides he'd rather sit on his coach than try to protect Blake Bortles' blindside. The story appeared to be over until the news broke on Monday night that Albert told the Jags he wanted to return to the team and the brass said no thanks. To sum it all up, the Jags are now being forced to throw unpolished rookie Cam Robinson into the fire at left tackle right away and Albert is going to have to try and make his NFL "comeback" somewhere else. Professional sports never fail to be the greatest soap operas on Earth.

Bottom Line:
Even with the additions of more solid veteran talent, the Jaguars have too many deficiencies and uncertainties (particularly on offense) to make a significant jump in the standings this season.      

Tennessee Titans
2016 Record: 9-7 (2nd in AFC South)
Head Coach: Mike Mularkey (2nd season)
Notable Additions: CB Logan Ryan, S Jonathan Cyprien, WR Eric Decker
 Notable Departures: CB Jason McCourty, WR Kendall Wright, G Chance Warmack

-After a surprise 9-7 finish last season, everybody from Wichita to Omaha is aboard the Titans hype train heading into 2017. I'm one of the few people that refuses to board this densely-packed locomotive. This team never impressed me at any point of last season and nothing that's occurred in the 7 months since they last took the field gotten me to waver from that position. I think Marcus Mariota is more of an anonymous game-manager than a legit franchise quarterback, they're relying on a currently-injured rookie (Corey Davis) and an inconsistent 30-year old coming off of a major shoulder injury (Eric Decker) to improve their wonky receiving corps, their defense ,outside of a few nice pieces on the front 7 (Derrick Morgan, Jurrell Casey, Wesley Woodyard) is an unreliable, injury-prone mess (more on that later) and even though he's coming off a nice season (1,287 YDS, 9 TD) and has an excellent offensive line blocking for him, workhorse running back DeMarco Murray is still one of the biggest injury flight risks in the league (he already pulled him hamstring in training camp. I've got a strong feeling that this 2017 team will expose the Titans as a below-average squad primarily driven by fugazi talent that can't be relied to deliver sustained success in the NFL.

-The Achilles' heel of the 2016 Titans (and what their fanbase believes was the only reason they didn't win the division) was their secondary. Their 30th-ranked pass defense doesn't do justice to how much they burnt throughout last season. Naturally, general manager Jon Robinson made trying to upgrade this lackluster his primary focus this season. He went out and signed ex-Patriot corner Logan Ryan and former Jags Jonathan Cyprien on the 2nd day of free agency then proceeded to use 1 of the team's 2 1st round draft picks to select USC corner Adoree' Jackson. The problem with these moves is that every single one of them is a massive dice roll. Ryan was an erratic presence throughout his tenure in New England and has yet to prove he can guard top WR's on a weekly basis, Cyprien was a garbageman until last season and Jackson is a super athletic gambler that lives and dies by the big play. Robinson was right to make a ton of moves in the secondary, but I'm skeptical that the guys he brought in are going to be able to make the type of impact he desperately needs them to make in order to quickly sure up their horrific pass defense.

-Another part of the reason why I'm so down on the Titans is because of this coaching staff. A surprisingly strong season from DeMarco Murray and rare 16-game campaign for Brian Orakpo covered up a lot of the issues the schematic masterminds behind this operation bring to the table, but I wouldn't bank on it happening again. Mike Mularkey is a so-so offensive mind (I still haven't figured out what "exotic smashmouth" means) that has mustered 2 winning seasons and 0 playoff appearances in 5 seasons as an NFL head coach, Dick LeBeau is a stubborn fossil that won't let go of his precious zone-driven scheme that hasn't been consistently effective in at least 20 years and with just 1 year as an offensive coordinator, there's no way to tell if Terry Robiskie is the real deal or not (spoiler alert: I don't think he is). While the play of Mariota and the impact of (or lack thereof) their big-ticket free agent signing are currently commanding the narratives out of Nashville, the abilities of these 3 men should ultimately determine if the Titans deserve to be taken seriously as a playoff contender or simply benefited from a whole lot of fluky-ass strong performances in 2016.    

Bottom Line:
The pride of Smashville appear set to fall back to Earth after overachieving a season ago. 
 
Projected Standings
1.Houston Texans (9-7)
2.Indianapolis Colts (7-9)
3.Tennessee Titans (6-10) 
4.Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11)