Thursday, September 29, 2022

Bobby Cannavale Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Bobby Cannavale-whose latest project "Blonde" is now streaming on Netflix.

Bobby Cannavale's Filmography Ranked:

25.Movie 43 (D)

24.Jolt (D+)

23.Tom & Jerry (C)

22.Motherless Brooklyn (C)

21.Paul Blart: Mall Cop (C)

20.Lovelace (C)

19.Thunder Force (C+)

18.The Bone Collector (C+)

17.Adult Beginners (C+)

16.Parker (B)

15.Daddy's Home (B)

14.Ant-Man and the Wasp (B)

13.Win Win (B)

12.Ant-Man (B)

11.Danny Collins (B)

10.Snakes on a Plane (B)

9.Chef (B)

8.Spy (B)

7.The Fundamentals of Caring (B+)

6.The Irishman (B+)

5.The Station Agent (B+)

4.Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (A-)

3.Blue Jasmine (A)

2.The Other Guys (A)

1.I, Tonya (A)

Top Dog: I, Tonya (2017)

I'll never forget the sense of pleasant shock that I felt walking out of I, Tonya. The director of Mr. Woodcock made a riveting, often extremely funny biopic that creates sympathy for Tonya Harding and her (mostly lack of direct) involvement in the Nancy Kerrigan scandal that made her infamous without glossing over the messier aspects of her life/personality. This deserved more Oscar love other than the 3 nominations (fortunately Margot Robbie's career-best turn as Harding was among them) and lone (deserving) win it received for Allison Janney's brilliant performance as Harding's abusive, chain-smoking mother, but it's an incredible movie, nonetheless.

Bottom Feeder: Movie 43 (2013)

Hooray, the shittiest, largest ensemble piece seemingly in the history of Hollywood makes its 892nd appearance in a piece on this site! Making a goofy anthology comedy piece with a million superstar actors and several capable directors including James Gunn, Elizabeth Banks and Peter Farrelly-who was heavily involved in the creation of this project- is a cool idea on paper, but the execution couldn't have been shoddier. There's maybe a handful of laughs present in the 13 sketches that make up this film as the filmmakers only goal seemed to be seeing how many awful gross-out jokes they could fit into a 90-minute movie.

Most Underrated: The Station Agent (2003)

Tom McCarthy has put together a pretty uneven filmography on the whole, but when he hits, he's one of the most emotionally potent filmmakers on the planet. One of those instances where he churned out a real winner was The Station Agent. It's one of those rare movies that tackles grief, and the positive effects true human connection can have on a person's emotional state in a completely honest, non-manipulative or cheesy way and the performances from Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson and Cannavale are beautiful, sensitive and fearless.   

Most Overrated: The Irishman (2019)

This probably isn't the fairest distinction to hand out to The Irishman since it is still a very good movie that has some very vocal detractors. However, there are plenty of people in the critical/cinephile community that have hailed it as one of Martin Scorsese's best movies and I disagree with that sentiment so strongly that I ultimately view The Irishman as overrated. As incredible as its best moments and performances (Robert de Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Anna Paquin are all exceptional here) are, it suffers from the exact same problem as many of Scorsese's other movies over the past 20 years have: it's never able to justify its exceptionally long running time (in this 209 minutes). There are so many scenes here that either add nothing to the story or hammer home thematic points that have already extensively been made, which subsequently makes the film feel needlessly bloated and thus diminishes its overall effectiveness. 

Top Shockingly Great Reboot: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

There hasn't been a more successful, creatively rewarding reboot in ages than either of the new Jumanji films. Welcome to the Jungle is notable for introducing the franchise's very simple formula for success: Have charismatic, well-matched actors (Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillian) play against type via a body swap scenario and unleash them in a perilous adventure video game world that they are woefully unprepared to handle. That simple narrative twist and brilliant casting is enough to power a film that contains enough inspired jokes and old school rollicking adventure fun to fill 100 movies. Hopefully Sony can find a gap in the schedules of their extremely busy leads and churn out another installment within the next few years. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 4

 ()=previous ranking

1.(4) Philadelphia Eagles (3-0) Week 4 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

2.(6) Miami Dolphins (3-0) Week 4 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

3.(1) Buffalo Bills (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

4.(5) Los Angeles Rams (2-1) Week 4 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

5.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

6.(8) Baltimore Ravens (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Buffalo Bills

7.(9) Green Bay Packers (2-1) Week 4 opponent: New England Patriots 

8.(2) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

9.(12) Minnesota Vikings (2-1) Week 4 opponent: New Orleans Saints

10.(24) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

11.(19) Dallas Cowboys (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Washington Commanders

12.(11) New York Giants (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Chicago Bears

13.(14) Cincinnati Bengals (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Miami Dolphins

14.(13) Detroit Lions (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

15.(21) Cleveland Browns (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

16.(10) San Francisco 49ers (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

17.(25) Indianapolis Colts (1-1-1) Week 4 opponent: Tennessee Titans

18.(16) New England Patriots (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Green Bay Packers

19.(20) Denver Broncos (2-1) Week 4 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

20.(17) Arizona Cardinals (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Carolina Panthers

21.(7) Los Angeles Chargers (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Houston Texans

22.(18) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2) Week 4 opponent: New York Jets

23.(29) Tennessee Titans (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

24.(15) New Orleans Saints (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

25.(31) Atlanta Falcons (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Cleveland Browns 

26.(27) Chicago Bears (2-1) Week 4 opponent: New York Giants 

27.(32) Carolina Panthers (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Arizona Cardinals 

28.(22) Washington Commanders (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

29.(23) Las Vegas Raiders (0-3) Week 4 opponent: Denver Broncos 

30.(28) Seattle Seahawks (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Detroit Lions

31.(26) New York Jets (1-2) Week 4 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers  

32.(30) Houston Texans (0-2-1) Week 4 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Week 3 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Lamar Jackson (Ravens) 

The first chapter in Jackson's hunt for a record-breaking contract continues to be a masterpiece. This week's entry included a casual 218 passing YD/107 rushing YD/5 total TD performance in a road victory against the Patriots. Jackson has a home date with a tough but banged-up Bills defense in Week 4.

Honorable Mentions: Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Josh Allen (Bills), Joe Burrow (Bengals)

LVP: Justin Herbert (Chargers)

Good news: Herbert wasn't physically limited in his surprising return to action after suffering broken rib cartilage in the 4th quarter of the Chargers Week 2 contest with the Chiefs. Bad news: That's where the good news ends. Herbert and the Chargers were completely out of sorts as they got smacked in the mouth by the Jaguars at home on Sunday afternoon. The ascending star posted a solid yardage total (297) but threw only 1 touchdown and turned the ball over twice in the 1st half (an INT and a fumble). Herbert and an embattled Chargers offense that just lost left tackle Rashawn Slater for the season will look to bounce back against the winless Texans in Week 4.

Dishonorable Mentions: Kyler Murray (Cardinals), Tom Brady (Buccaneers), Jared Goff (Lions)

Running Back

MVP: Derrick Henry (Titans)

While it wasn't exactly a vintage explosion from the Titans star back, Henry did have his clear best game of 2022 so far this week against the putrid Raiders defense. King Henry was surprisingly active in the passing game (5 REC/58 YDS) and bolstered his pretty pedestrian rushing line (20 CAR/85 YDS) with a score in the Titans 1st win of 2022. Henry will remain an RB1 for the Titans Week 4 matchup with the Colts. 

Honorable Mentions: Cordarelle Patterson (Falcons), Saquon Barkley (Giants), James Robinson (Jaguars)

LVP: Aaron Jones (Packers)

Todd Bowles and Kacy Rodgers turned on the tape from the Bears game the previous week and fully committed to ensuring that Jones didn't take over another game. It worked in a big way as they held Jones to 47 YDS on his 15 touches and forced him to a lose a fumble. Jones gets a Patriots defense this Sunday that has been good against RB's overall, but struggled to contain speedsters Lamar Jackson and Justice Hill last week.

Dishonorable Mentions: A.J. Dillon (Packers), Miles Sanders (Eagles), Darrell Henderson Jr. (Rams)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

If you weren't a dope like me who sat Smith 90 minutes before kickoff on Sunday, you benefitted from one of the top WR performances of the season thus far. The Commanders secondary was lost pretty much every time Smith ran a route and that led to the 2021 1st round pick putting up a monstrous 8 REC/169 YDS/1 TD line in another emphatic win for the Eagles. Safe to say, Smith has quickly moved on from the donut he put up in Week 1 and can now be viewed as a weekly WR2 in this high-volume passing offense.

Honorable Mentions: Marquise Brown (Cardinals), Amari Cooper (Browns), CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

LVP: Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

On a day where Adam Thielen and K.J. Osborn had no trouble getting open against the Lions porous secondary, Jefferson was held completely in check-managing just 3 catches for 14 YDS. As concerning as Jefferson's back-to-back quiet days are, he's far too talented to lose confidence in. There are far more ideal opponents to break out of a mini-slump against than the Saints, but I wouldn't bet against Jefferson's ability to do it.

Dishonorable Mentions: DJ Moore (Panthers), Brandin Cooks (Texans), Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

Tight End

MVP: Mark Andrews (Ravens)

Bill Belichick tried his best to take Andrews out of the game, but the star tight end just wouldn't allow that to happen as he hauled in 8 catches for 89 YDS and 2 TD's in a hard-fought road win for the Ravens. Andrews will look to take advantage of a depleted Bills secondary on Sunday afternoon.

Honorable Mentions: David Njoku (Browns), Travis Kelce (Chiefs), Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

LVP: Darren Waller (Raiders)

After avoiding the true negative extremes of the Raiders hot-and-cold passing attack during the 1st 2 games, Waller finally encountered them in Sunday's loss against the Titans. The explosive veteran tight end registered only 3 catches for 22 YDS as Mack Hollins once again left the rest of the Raiders receiving options in the dust. As wonky as the Raiders offense has been through 3 weeks, Waller is too much of a mismatch for opposing defenses to remain this quiet for a prolonged period of time.

Dishonorable Mentions: Hayden Hurst (Bengals), Gerald Everett (Chargers), Logan Thomas (Commanders)

Defense/Special Teams:

MVP: Eagles

The Commanders were really ill-prepared for the buzzsaw that is the Eagles D. Carson Wentz got sacked 9 times and lost a fumble while the offense only managed 6 points in a game where they struggled to even move the ball until the prevent defense came out in garbage time. That 31-point slip up against the Lions in Week 1 is looking more and more like it was an outlier, so keep firing this group up as a starter or if you're looking for an upgrade at the D/ST spot-check to see if they're still on the wire (they probably are in many 8-10 team leagues).

Honorable Mentions: Bengals, Broncos, Packers

LVP: Chargers

Allowing the Chargers defense to post -4 in most leagues for this repulsive performance is an act of incredible generosity by the fantasy football scorekeepers. They were an absolute embarrassment-regularly allowing chunk plays and showing zero discipline-as they surrendered 38 points to the Jaguars without getting a single sack or takeaway. Despite this awful showing and Joey Bosa already being ruled out after sustaining a groin injury during the Jags game, they'll be worth starting against a bad Texans offense that hasn't scored more than 20 points in a game this season and turned the ball over twice against the Bears last week.

Dishonorable Mentions: Saints, Bills, Steelers  

Monday, September 26, 2022

Movie Review: Don't Worry Darling

People still love a good old-fashioned Hollywood scandal and gossip hounds have had been handed the golden goose of salacious rumors with the Don't Worry Darling press tour. Stories including a blossoming romantic relationship between an actor and the director disrupting the filming process, a feud between the film's lead and the director that culminated in an on-set screaming match and allegations of one actor spitting on another at the film's Venice Film Festival premiere have provided interested parties with a buffet of soapy media narratives that will keep them well-fed until at least Thanksgiving. Of course, all of this extracurricular, speculation-driven activity has drowned out much of the discussion about the actual film-which is odd since the film marks ascending star Florence Pugh's first leading role since her 2019 breakout Midsommar, Olivia Wilde's first directorial effort since her acclaimed 2019 directorial debut Booksmart and the first significant acting role pop superstar Harry Styles has ever had. As unfair and unfortunate as it is that Don't Worry Darling has drawn so much attention for things that have nothing to do with the on-screen product, the tabloid fodder proved to be more memorable than the film itself.

Based on the reports that have come out about the film's production-which definitely aren't completely false given Pugh's refusal to do press for the movie and the chilly interactions Wilde has had with the bulk of the cast during the film's public screenings, the blame for Don't Worry Darling miscues are going to fall on Wilde and Styles. And to be fair, they certainly deserve their share of the blame. Wilde makes the critical mistake of making a psychological thriller that doesn't really try to mount any tension or attempt to delve into the main character's psyche outside of pulling out the basic "people surrounding them actively deny their concerns/make them belief they're the crazy one's" playbook and Styles is a pretty aloof screen presence that especially struggles with selling the romantic angle of the relationship between him and Pugh's character. While their efforts were questionable, neither of them has ownership of the biggest piece of the blame pie.  

That person would be screenwriter Katie Silberman. The career comedy scribe behind Booksmart, Set It Up and Isn't It Romantic really struggles with her first script that falls outside of the genre that she's had a good degree of success with over the past handful of years. Crafting a narrative that attempts to balance mystery/thriller with social commentary on patriarchal society, gender roles, etc. (there's another major theme I can't name here since it would allude to a major spoiler) is the right idea, but the execution is listless to the point where it doesn't provide much in the way of intrigue or insight. These script woes manage to further intensify when the big twist/reveal occurs at the start of the final act. Not only does this revelation inject this very serious film with an unintended layer of ridiculousness but it unleashes a whole new string of questions about the mechanics of the entire narrative that leads to a finale that delivers more moments of head-scratching confusion than the powerful emotional catharsis it appears to be aiming for. Much has been made about the quality of Wilde's direction here, but it would've taken a string of miracles for any director to make a great film out of a script that is this thin and silly.

Despite its best efforts to be overwhelmingly monotonous, several people involved with Don't Worry Darling weren't going to allow that to happen on their watch. For starters, the film looks absolutely immaculate as the production/costume design radiate the idyllic vibrancy of the 1950's and cinematographer Matthew Libatique steals the show with a slew of creative shots that provide this largely predictable affair with some much-needed moments of unexpected wonder. 

There also happens to be some strong acting from the bulk of the cast outside of Styles. Pugh is her typical commanding self as the woman who realizes there might be something sinister going on in the picture-esque desert community she resides in, Chris Pine is effectively charismatic and creepy yet oddly underutilized as the community's mysterious leader and Wilde herself is a hoot as the gossip-slinging, heavy-drinking housewife that lives next door to Pugh and Styles' characters. Being the standout parts of a misguided, mediocre project isn't glamorous or exciting, but it is a surefire way to ensure that your efforts are remembered-which is more than can be said about the bulk of this movie.   

Don't Worry Darling is a massively disappointing sophomore directorial effort from Wilde and one of the most frustrating movies I've watched all year. Talented people teaming up to make an original story shouldn't feel just as soullessly derivative or narratively lost as the most disposable IP exercises, but that's exactly what happened here and it's a shitty sight to behold. Wilde has already proven she has the chops to direct, so hopefully this is just a sophomore slump and not an early sign that Booksmart will be the lone excellent film she puts into the world.

Grade: C+

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Olivia Wilde Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Olivia Wilde-whose latest project "Don't Worry Darling" releases in theaters today. 

Olivia Wilde's Filmography Ranked:

19.Tron: Legacy (D)

18.Year One (D)

17.How It Ends (D+)

16.The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (D+)

15.The Change-Up (C)

14.The Girl Next Door (C+)

13.Ghostbusters: Afterlife (B-)

12.In Time (B-)

11.Deadfall (B-)

10.People Like Us (B-)

9.The Words (B)

8.Drinking Buddies (B)

7.Cowboys & Aliens (B)

6.Butter (B)

5.Richard Jewell (B+)

4.Alpha Dog (B+)

3.Rush (A-)

2.Her (A-)

1.Booksmart (A-)

Top Dog: Booksmart (2019)

A large part of why the expectations for Don't Worry Darling are/were so high is due to how terrific Wilde's directorial debut Booksmart was. She showed tremendous polish as a filmmaker by crafting something that seamlessly blends vulgar, often inventively absurd R-rated high school comedy hijinks with a really moving, realistic portrait of lifelong best friends (Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein) that are struggling to deal with the prospect of their relationship drastically changing when they go off to college. 

Bottom Feeder: Tron: Legacy (2010)

12 years before helming Top Gun: Maverick, Joseph Kosinski helmed his first blockbuster sequel. Let's just say it didn't work out quite as well as Maverick's return to the Top Gun program did. Tron: Legacy proudly rips a page out of the Avatar playbook as it tries to compensate for its wretched acting, cornball storytelling and needlessly long running time that's made significantly worse by brutally slow pacing with a parade of striking computer-generated visuals. And dare I say it was successful in doing so because I was just as bored and disgusted while watching Tron as I was during James Cameron's global phenomenon a year earlier, so kudos on making a pretty-looking pile of garbage Mr. Kosinski.   

Most Underrated: Alpha Dog (2006)

A slow yet steady escalation of the stakes, sensational performances from Anton Yelchin, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster and Justin Timberlake-who made his acting debut here and a gut-wrenching ending that is elevated by the strong character work that comes before it allowed Alpha Dog to carve out its own space in the large crowd of 2000's-era gritty crime dramas. 

Most Overrated: Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

The warm embrace of Ghostbusters: Afterlife by its fans is a perfect example of the very disconcerting trend that's emerged in entertainment over the past several years of people only enjoying franchise movies that feature heavy amounts of nostalgia-driven fan service. There's not a single idea, moment or emotional beat in Ghostbusters: Afterlife that wasn't painstakingly catered to appease the appetites of the franchise's most vocal fans. Does this make the movie bad? No, Afterlife is a harmless, relatively engaging homage to the classic franchise that will probably get a whole new generation of people excited about Ghostbusters. It is however a creatively bankrupt, phony creation that effectively only exists to be a cinematic apology note to the fragile dipshits who had their feelings hurt by the 2016 female-led reboot-which despite being a flawed film in its own right is considerably more fun and creative than this long, expensive transmission from the Sony PR department.

Most Overlooked Recent Clint Eastwood Movie: Richard Jewell (2019)

Donald Trump's long perpetuated narrative about the media being dishonest and comical reframing of the term "witch hunt" made Richard Jewell a tough pillow to swallow for some people. The truth is that that unlike the treasonous former president of the United States, the media actually DID conduct a witch hunt on Jewell. What Eastwood did here is tell a brutally honest true story that explores how law enforcement and the media's desire for being hailed as heroes in their respective fields has led to powerful people running with erroneous, poorly supported claims before they can their vet their accuracy while investigating a high-profile incident as well as the brutal emotional and psychological damage that is inflicted on the people that are being targeted by the public smear campaign. While Richard Jewell will likely only end up being a footnote in his storied career, Eastwood's raw, potent approach to telling Jewell's story makes this the greatest directorial triumph he's had since Gran Torino. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 3

 ()=previous ranking

1.(2) Buffalo Bills (2-0) Week 3 opponent: Miami Dolphins

2.(1) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-0) Week 3 opponent: Green Bay Packers

3.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (2-0) Week 3 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

4.(7) Philadelphia Eagles (2-0) Week 3 opponent: Washington Commanders  

5.(6) Los Angeles Rams (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Arizona Cardinals 

6.(11) Miami Dolphins (2-0) Week 3 opponent: Buffalo Bills 

7.(5) Los Angeles Chargers (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

8.(4) Baltimore Ravens (1-1) Week 3 opponent: New England Patriots 

9.(10) Green Bay Packers (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

10.(13) San Francisco 49ers (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Denver Broncos 

11.(23) New York Giants (2-0) Week 3 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

12.(9) Minnesota Vikings (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Detroit Lions

13.(24) Detroit Lions (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

14.(8) Cincinnati Bengals (0-2) Week 3 opponent: New York Jets

15.(16) New Orleans Saints (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Carolina Panthers

16.(21) New England Patriots (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

17.(20) Arizona Cardinals (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Los Angeles Rams 

18.(15) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Cleveland Browns

19.(29) Dallas Cowboys (1-1) Week 3 opponent: New York Giants 

20.(22) Denver Broncos (1-1) Week 3 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

21.(17) Cleveland Browns (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

22.(19) Washington Commanders (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

23.(12) Las Vegas Raiders (0-2) Week 3 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

24.(31) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

25.(14) Indianapolis Colts (0-1-1) Week 3 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

26.(32) New York Jets (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

27.(25) Chicago Bears (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Houston Texans 

28.(26) Seattle Seahawks (1-1) Week 3 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

29.(18) Tennessee Titans (0-2) Week 3 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

30.(28) Houston Texans (0-1-1) Week 3 opponent: Chicago Bears

31.(30) Atlanta Falcons (0-2) Week 3 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

32.(27) Carolina Panthers (0-2) Week 3 opponent: New Orleans Saints

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Week 2 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Lamar Jackson (Ravens) 

Things went up in flames in jaw-dropping fashion for the Ravens in the 4th quarter of their shocking Week 2 loss to the Dolphins, but Jackson certainly wasn't to blame for their late game collapse. The 5th year pro showed off why he deserves the record-breaking contract he'll receive next spring with an impeccable performance (318 YDS/3 TD's passing, 119 YDS/1 TD rushing) that served as a tremendous showcase for his special dual-threat skill set. Jackson will look to get his team back in the win column against the Patriots on Sunday afternoon.

Honorable Mentions: Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Josh Allen (Bills), Kyler Murray (Cardinals)

LVP: Tom Brady (Buccaneers)

While the Bucs ultimately won the game, Brady's struggles against the Saints continued. TB12 posted a very pedestrian passing line (190 YDS/1 TD) and even fumbled a snap on the team's opening drive that was recovered by Demario Davis. With Mike Evans earning a 1-game suspension for the fight he got into with Marshon Lattimore and Chris Godwin expected to remain out with the hamstring injury he suffered in Week 1, Brady could be in for another tough day against the Packers in Week 3. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Russell Wilson (Broncos), Kirk Cousins (Vikings), Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Running Back

MVP: Nick Chubb (Browns)

Outside of bizarrely being chosen as the scapegoat for the Browns hilarious Week 2 loss to the Jets that was ultimately made possible by a missed extra point from rookie kicker Cade York, a successful onside kick from New York and the vaunted Browns defense allowing Joe Flacco to throw 2 TD's in the final 1:57 of play, everything worked out great for Chubb on Sunday. The perpetually underrated veteran back turned 17 carries into 87 YDS and 3 TD's while also seeing higher than usual work in the passing game (3 REC/26 YDS). As long as Jacoby Brissett is under center, Chubb should be a terrific RB1 option.

Honorable Mentions: Aaron Jones (Packers), D'Andre Swift (Lions), Tony Pollard (Cowboys)

LVP: Rashaad Penny (Seahawks)

Abysmal game script and the earlier than expected return of rookie back Kenneth Walker III from his hernia surgery in late July doomed Penny this week as he only ended up seeing 6 carries for 15 YDS in a blowout loss to the 49ers. While things will almost certainly work out better for him when the Falcons travel up to Seattle this Sunday, the unknown structure of the Seahawks new look backfield makes him a needlessly risky start.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Dalvin Cook (Vikings), Jonathan Taylor (Colts), Ezkiel Elliott (Cowboys)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Stefon Diggs (Bills)

Josh Allen and Diggs looked like they were working on timing routes against no defenders last night as the Bills top wideout effortlessly dismantled the Titans secondary for 148 YDS and 3 TD's on 12 catches. The Dolphins will have the daunting task of trying to slow down the Bills top WR this week.

Honorable Mentions: Tyreek Hill (Dolphins), Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions), Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

LVP: JuJu Smith-Schuster (Chiefs)

A stingy Chargers defense that minimized the damage Patrick Mahomes did overall along with a few unexpected splash plays from Justin Watson cutting into his target share kept Smith-Schuster very quiet (3 REC/10 YDS) last Thursday night. There will likely be a bunch of peaks and valleys with Smith-Schuster this year, so there's no reason to panic and remove him from his current WR3/FLEX spot right now.

Dishonorable Mentions: DK Metcalf (Seahawks), Darnell Mooney (Bears), D.J. Chark (Lions)

Tight End

MVP: Mark Andrews (Ravens)

Any of the narratives that emerged last week surrounding how Rashod Bateman and Devin Duvernay's strong Week 1 showings could chip into Andrews' productivity died just as quickly as they arrived. Lamar Jackson's long-time go-to-guy returned to the featured role after a pretty quiet Week 1, turning a team-high 9 catches into 104 YDS and a TD in the aforementioned tragic loss to the Dolphins. Andrews will have to fight his way through the extra attention the Patriots strong secondary are bound to throw at him to return to the top of the TE scoring leaderboards in Week 3. 

Honorable Mentions: Darren Waller (Raiders), Irv Smith Jr. (Vikings), Zach Ertz (Cardinals)

LVP: Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

As expected, Pitts royally struggled again in Week 2 against the Rams. The 2nd year pro somehow managed to duplicate his exact output from Week 1 (2 REC/19 YDS) as Marcus Mariota heavily favored rookie Drake London-who was targeted 12 times on Mariota's 26 pass attempts. If Pitts flounders against the Seahawks youth-driven defense in Week 3, it will officially be time to push the panic button.

Dishonorable Mentions: Cole Kmet (Bears), T.J. Hockenson (Lions), Hunter Henry (Patriots)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Buccaneers 

Jameis Winston and the Saints banged-up offensive line got eaten alive on Sunday. The Bucs defense scooped up a whopping 6 sacks, 3 INT's, 2 FUM REC and a TD that helped power them to a 20-10 victory over their pesky division rival. This group has looked terrific in both games this year and will look to keep rolling versus a relatively vulnerable Packers offense in Week 3.

Honorable Mentions: Bills, 49ers, Rams

LVP: Colts 

Putrid, giveaway-happy play from their offense and the fatigue that comes with that led to the Colts D putting together a pretty nondescript performance (24 points allowed, 0 sacks or takeaways) in a rough loss to the Jaguars. Considering how average they've looked to start the year, dropping them ahead of their Week 3 matchup with the Chiefs feels like the right move.

Dishonorable Mentions: Chargers, Steelers, Bengals 

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Quick Movie Reviews: Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul., Barbarian, End of the Road

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul.:  Using the story of a pastor (Sterling K. Brown) and his wife (Regina Hall) re-opening their megachurch after sexual misconduct allegations against the pastor caused their congregation to shut down for a year, writer/director Adamma Ebo takes aim at the culture of Christian megachurches (in this case Southern Baptists) in the mockumentary-style dramedy Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. Ebo balances the absurd with the tragic as she explores how these institutions run by phony grifters who care more about material items, flashy theatrics and projecting an aura of unattainable perfection than preaching the faith they claim to follow so closely are inherently toxic and the stellar performances from Hall and Brown tap into the level of pain, delusion and loneliness that exist underneath the confident, smiling exteriors of this couple that is struggling to accept that their time in the spotlight is over. Honk for Jesus. may not be the most nuanced piece of satire Hollywood has ever churned out, but it's still a very effective and compelling film that announces Ebo as a filmmaker to watch and reminds the world that its leads (especially the perpetually underrated Hall) are among the most versatile, effortlessly commanding actors working today.

Grade: B+

Barbarian: It's funny to think that The Whitest Kids U Know co-creator/star Zach Cregger's big reemergence into the creative arts has come in the form of a gnarly horror movie he wrote and directed. What's next: Danny Tamberelli resurfaces to make a movie about a man who resorts to a life of crime after losing his life savings betting on the Jets to win the Super Bowl?     

Barbarian has what appears to be a simple hook: A woman (Georgina Campbell) arrives at an AirBnb she booked and is surprised to discover that there's a man (Bill Skarsgard) already staying there. After confirming that the AirBnb was indeed double booked and failing to find another place to stay, she reluctantly decides to spend the night. Before too long, she discovers that there is far more fear in this house than a stranger sleeping in the next room over. 

The twisted, wild and often darkly comedic directions Barbarian goes in from there are pretty staggering to behold and couldn't be predicted by even the most astute viewer of the trailer or opening stretch of the film. Cregger's relative inexperience as a director causes him to lose the reigns of this chaotic macabre funhouse of a movie at times (particularly in the unwieldy final act that hurls about 600 additional curveballs at the viewer before ending on a surprisingly basic note), but the man has a brazen fearlessness, playful giddiness and knack for tension-building behind the camera that can't be denied. With some fine-tuning of the storytelling that lies underneath all of the shocking, repulsive twists of this film, Cregger could become one of the best horror directors on the planet.

Grade: B

End of the Road: End of the Road is a throwback to the days when Hollywood would use the dead weekends on the release calendar (ex: mid-January, Labor Day weekend, weekend after Thanksgiving) to trot out a below average genre movie with a low-ish budget to tide audiences over before the more respectable, large-scale releases were released in the following weeks. This family melodrama meets kidnapping crime thriller has enough respectable veteran actors (Queen Latifah, Ludacris, Beau Bridges) in key roles and aesthetically-pleasing shots to provide the film with the degree of legitimacy it needs to be elevated above the flood of VOD titles that cover similar territory, but its clumsy tonal shifts from sappy to gritty to silly, predictable idiotic plot twists and stagnant direction from TV vet Millicent Shelton bring enough ineptitude to the table to ensure that the movie never quite gets off the ground. Deon Taylor has a whole filmography full of movies like End of the Road that are way more entertaining and competently made and I encourage anybody to watch any of those films instead of this thoroughly forgettable affair. 

Grade: C- 

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 2

 ()=previous ranking

1.(2) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: New Orleans Saints

2.(4) Buffalo Bills (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Tennessee Titans

3.(5) Kansas City Chiefs (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

4.(7) Baltimore Ravens (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Miami Dolphins

5.(11) Los Angeles Chargers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

6.(1) Los Angeles Rams (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

7.(8) Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

8.(3) Cincinnati Bengals (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

9.(18) Minnesota Vikings (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles 

10.(6) Green Bay Packers (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Chicago Bears

11.(16) Miami Dolphins (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

12.(10) Las Vegas Raiders (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

13.(9) San Francisco 49ers (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

14.(14) Indianapolis Colts (0-0-1) Week 2 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

15.(20) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0) Week 2 opponent: New England Patriots 

16.(19) New Orleans Saints (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

17.(23) Cleveland Browns (1-0) Week 2 opponent: New York Jets

18.(12) Tennessee Titans (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Buffalo Bills 

19.(22) Washington Commanders (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Detroit Lions

20.(15) Arizona Cardinals (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

21.(17) New England Patriots (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

22.(21) Denver Broncos (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Houston Texans

23.(32) New York Giants (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Carolina Panthers

24.(26) Detroit Lions (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Washington Commanders

25.(27) Chicago Bears (1-0) Week 2 opponent: Green Bay Packers

26.(30) Seattle Seahawks (1-0) Week 2 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

27.(24) Carolina Panthers (0-1) Week 2 opponent: New York Giants

28.(31) Houston Texans (0-0-1) Week 2 opponent: Denver Broncos

29.(13) Dallas Cowboys (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

30.(29) Atlanta Falcons (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Los Angeles Rams 

31.(28) Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

32.(25) New York Jets (0-1) Week 2 opponent: Cleveland Browns

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Week 1 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

Well well well ,look who's still out here making a lot of plays?! Mahomes' 1st game post-Tyreek Hill was a rousing sucess as he lit up a helpless Cardinals defense for 360 YDS and 5 TD's in a commanding 44-21 win for the Chiefs. While he faces a more difficult Week 2 matchup in the Chargers, Mahomes will remain a no-brainer Top 3-5 QB option.

Honorable Mentions: Josh Allen (Bills), Justin Herbert (Chargers), Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

LVP: Aaron Rodgers (Packers)

Unlike Mahomes, Rodgers missed his recently departed star wideout very much on Sunday. With sole remaining trusted WR Allen Lazard out of the lineup due to an ankle injury, Rodgers was pretty unspectacular (195 YDS/0 TD/1 INT/FUM lost) in a lopsided loss to the Vikings. Even if he's stuck with nothing but the overmatched whippersnapper gang (Christian Watson, Romeo Doubs, Amari Rodgers) and Sammy Watkins at receiver again, he should be able to get right back on track against a Bears team that he destroys in 9 out of every 10 meetings. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Matthew Stafford (Rams), Tom Brady (Buccaneers) 

Running Back

MVP: Saquon Barkley (Giants)

Welcome back Saquon, it's been a while. The 5th year back turned in the kind of monster performance that won him Offensive Rookie of the Year and got him anointed as the next star RB in 2018 by logging 194 scrimmage YDS (164 rushing, 30 receiving), a TD and the game-clinching 2-PT CNV on 24 touches in a wild comeback win over the Titans. As long as he can allude the injuries that have plagued him the past 3 seasons, Barkley will be a weekly RB1 lock.

Honorable Mentions: Jonathan Taylor (Colts), D'Andre Swift (Lions), Cordarrelle Patterson (Falcons)

LVP: Cam Akers (Rams)

All of the Akers detractors out there had themselves a delightful Week 1. Not only did the Florida State product ride the pine in favor of Darrell Henderson for most of the game, he did diddly squat with the touches he did get (0 YDS on 3 carries). While severing ties with Akers after 1 no-show game would be a harsh overreaction, playing him in the interim is an awful idea. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Dameon Pierce (Texans), Ezkiel Elliott (Cowboys), Alvin Kamara (Saints)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

This Kevin O'Connell/Jefferson marriage could prove to be something really special. The Packers could only watch in horror as O'Connell schemed Jefferson open all game long and the star WR registered 184 YDS and 2 TD's on 9 receptions in a big divisional victory for the Vikings. Darius Slay, James Bradberry and the rest of the Eagles secondary will see if they can fare better against Jefferson next Monday night.

Honorable Mentions: Cooper Kupp (Rams), Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals), Michael Pittman Jr. (Colts)

LVP: Allen Robinson (Rams)

No Week 1 faceplant surprised or concerned me more than Robinson's. The newest Rams receiver-who was widely viewed as a lock to return to his 2019/20 dominance after a down 2021-struggled to get open against the Bills feisty secondary last Thursday night and as a result, was practically invisible the whole game, catching 1 of his 2 targets for 12 YDS. A meeting with a Falcons secondary that completely collapsed in the 4th quarter this past week will provide Robinson with an ideal bounceback opportunity.

Dishonorable Mentions: CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys), Amari Cooper (Browns), Darnell Mooney (Bears)

Tight End

MVP: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

The biggest beneficiary of Hill's exit from the Chiefs was widely believed to be Kelce and for Week 1 at least, that absolutely was the case. Kelce was all over the place making plays against the Cardinals lackluster defense and finished the afternoon with a terrific 8 REC/121 YDS/1 TD line. A Week 2 showdown with a Chargers defense that allowed Darren Waller to cook a fair amount (4 REC/79 YDS) could put Kelce atop the TE scoring leaderboards for a 2nd straight week.

Honorable Mentions: Gerald Everett (Chargers), Zach Ertz (Cardinals), Pat Friermuth (Steelers)

LVP: Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

The whole Falcons building the offense around Pitts plan didn't exactly materialize on Sunday against the Saints. The 2nd year pro only hauled in 2 catches for 19 YDS while new Falcons QB Marcus Mariota flashed a pretty strong connection with rookie WR Drake London (5 REC/74 YDS). Pitts did however tie with London for the team target lead (7), which indicates better days should be on the horizon for him- although they might not come this week against a Rams defense that will be hungry for revenge after getting embarrassed by the Bills in their season opener.

Dishonorable Mentions: Dawson Knox (Bills), Cole Kmet (Bears), David Njoku (Browns)

Defense/Special Teams:

MVP: Bills

A big reason why the Rams Super Bowl Banner reveal celebration got spoiled was the play of the Bills defense. Leslie Frazier's group was aggressive, disciplined and downright stifling as they put up 7 sacks, 3 INT's and only allowed 10 points to one of the most explosive offenses in football. The Titans offense-who didn't look particularly good against the Giants on Sunday-are going to have their hands full trying to move the ball against this group.

Honorable Mentions: Buccaneers, Chargers, Ravens

LVP: Packers

The crowning of the 2022 Packers defense as one of the league's best is going to have to wait at least another week. They had zero answers for the Vikings new offense led by Sean McVay disciple Kevin O'Connell-as they managed 0 takeaways and only 1 sack in a 23-7 loss. Like Rodgers, they'll get their opportunity to redeem themselves when they feast on the Bears on Sunday. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Broncos, 49ers, Patriots 

Monday, September 12, 2022

David Oyelowo Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of David Oyelowo-whose latest project "See How They Run" releases in theaters on Thursday.

David Oyelowo's Filmography Ranked:

14.A Sound of Thunder (F)

13.Chaos Walking (D)

12.Interstellar (D+)

11.Jack Reacher (C-)

10.The Butler (C)

9.The Paperboy (C)

8.The Cloverfield Paradox (C+)

7.Gringo (C+) 

6.Red Tails (B-)

5.A Most Violent Year (B)

4.The Last King of Scotland (B)

3.The Help (B)

2.Rise of the Planet of the Apes (B+)

1.Selma (A-)

Top Dog: Selma (2014)

Sharply constructed by Ava DuVernay, Selma is a terrific, surprisingly raw biopic that uses the process of organizing and participating in the Selma to Montgomery Marches to highlight the bravery and resolve of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.-who Oyelowo fully embodies with his towering performance- while also acknowledging the private doubts the prominent civil rights leader had about his ability to bring meaningful change to a world where racism has such a deep-rooted stranglehold nearly every aspect of everyday life. 

Bottom Feeder: A Sound of Thunder (2005)

Something I did relatively often growing up was picking random movies to rent at Blockbuster based on the cover art of the VHS or DVD. Sometime in 2006, this ritual led me to rent A Sound of Thunder. While I can't fully confirm this, A Sound of Thunder may've caused the demise of this practice. This woefully inept adaptation of a Ray Bradbury short story is among the dullest, silliest and horribly-acted films I've ever seen and it's no wonder that Warner Brothers dumped into theaters with zero promotion despite sinking $80 million into the production (which is also shocking since the CGI is super cheap-looking and the cast doesn't feature any actors that commanded massive salaries at the time it was shot). 

Most Underrated: N/A

Arguing that any of the top 5 films above are undervalued by the masses would be pretty absurd. Selma is among the most celebrated biopics of the past 15 years. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is part of a trilogy that has only become beloved since it concluded in 2017. The Last King of Scotland being a pretty good film that features an incredible turn from Forest Whittaker as brutal Ugandan dictator Idi Umin is a popular opinion that I back fully. The Help may be a watered-down civil rights drama, but the performances from Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Emma Stone, Jessica Chastain and Bryce Dallas Howard are so good that it largely offsets its safe structure/messaging. A Most Violent Year is a slick, contained crime drama driven by unsurprisingly stellar work from heavyweight thespians Oscar Isaac and Chastain. It would be similarly silly to make a case for any of the other 9 films since they all happen to be varying degrees of decent to average (Gringo, Red Tails, The Cloverfield Paradox), completely worthless (A Sound of Thunder, Chaos Walking) or sitting on the exact opposite end of the spectrum (Jack Reacher, The Butler, another film that won the "Most Overrated" honor). 

Most Overrated: Interstellar (2014)

Christopher Nolan's post-Dark Knight trilogy funk kicked off in particularly grand fashion with the soul-sucking stinker that is Interstellar. Through its sluggish pacing and thin, cheesy script that shines a light on just how bad Nolan's character work can be it when it's not accompanied by spectacular action setpieces or compelling psychological mind games, Interstellar cements itself as a dull, silly sc-fi tale with no real emotional weight or entertainment value to speak of.

Thursday, September 8, 2022

2022 NFL Prediction Palooza: Playoffs, Super Bowl, Playoffs, MVP and More

The 2022 NFL season starts this evening at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles when the defending Super Bowl Champion Rams take on this year's overwhelming Super Bowl favorite Bills. To honor this glorious occasion, I'm dropping my predictions for everything from the Super Bowl to MVP to what coach has the best chance of getting fired before the end of the season. Enjoy the return of football until the moment you root for or your fantasy team makes you wish the sport never existed. I know I will! 

Playoffs:

AFC:

1.Bills

2.Ravens

3.Chiefs

4.Colts

5.Chargers

6.Bengals

7.Dolphins

Wild Card:

Ravens over Dolphins

Chiefs over Bengals

Chargers over Colts

Divisional Round:

Bills over Chargers

Ravens over Chiefs

Conference Championship:
Ravens over Bills

NFC:

1.Rams

2.Eagles

3.Packers

4.Buccaneers 

5.49ers

6.Saints

7.Vikings

Wild Card:

Eagles over Vikings

Packers over Saints

49ers over Buccaneers 

Divisional Round:

Rams over 49ers

Eagles over Packers

Conference Championship:

Eagles over Rams

Super Bowl:

Ravens over Eagles

Awards:

MVP: Josh Allen (Bills)

Offensive Player of the Year: Josh Allen (Bills)

Defensive Player of the Year: Nick Bosa (49ers) 

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Chris Olave (Saints)

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Aidan Hutchinson (Lions)

Comeback Player of the Year: Allen Robinson (Rams)

Coach of the Year: Nick Siranni (Eagles)

League Leaders:

Passing YDS: Josh Allen

Passing TD's: Josh Allen

Rushing YDS: Jonathan Taylor

Rushing TD's: A.J. Dillon 

Receiving YDS: Justin Jefferson

Receiving TD's: Travis Kelce

Receptions: Mark Andrews

Sacks: Nick Bosa

INT's: Marlon Humphrey

Forced Fumbles: Myles Garrett 

Tackles: Logan Wilson 

Miscellaneous Awards:

AFC Team Most Likely to Surprise: Dolphins

AFC Team Most Likely to Disappoint: Broncos

NFC Team Most Likely to Surprise: Saints

NFC Team Most Likely to Disappoint: Cardinals 

Most Likely to Go 17-0: Rams

Most Likely to Go 0-17: Giants 

Coach Most Likely to Be Fired During the Season: Matt Rhule (Panthers)

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

2022 NFL Preview: NFC West

 Arizona Cardinals

2021 Record: 11-6 (2nd in NFC West)

Head Coach: Kliff Kingsbury (4th season)

Notable Additions: WR Marquise Brown, RB Darrel Williams, G Will Hernandez

Notable Departures: OLB Chandler Jones, WR Christian Kirk, ILB Jordan Hicks

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The NFC Got Weaker

After surprising a lot of people with a hot 7-0 start which left as the final unbeaten team in the league last year, the Cardinals fell from grace pretty hard when they finished the year on a 4-7 slide which culminated in an embarrassing 34-11 loss to the division rival Rams in the Wild Card round. Despite this poor finish to the season, the Cardinals had a pretty quiet offseason on the personnel addition. They acquired Marquise Brown from the Ravens on draft night to make up for Christian Kirk's departure in free agency/DeAndre Hopkins 6 game PED suspension to start the year, let Chandler Jones walk without making a serious offer or bringing in a high-end replacement (Jones' vacated spot on the edge will be filled by his former backup Dennis Gardeck-who has 7 career sacks in 4 NFL seasons) and made some low key veteran additions (Will Hernandez, Darrell Williams, Cody Ford, Trayvon Mullen, Nick Vigil) to fill out their roster that aren't going to swing the pendulum too far in either direction.

There is however one piece of great news for a Cardinals team that didn't radically change their roster from last season and will be without their future Hall of Fame WR for almost the first third of the season: the rest of the NFC got notably worse. As a team that got to the playoffs solely off of a hot start, nobody stands to gain more from Russell Wilson leaving Seattle, Davante Adams leaving Green Bay, Matt Ryan leaving Atlanta, the uncertain San Francisco QB situation and whatever the hell is going on in Dallas than them. They're an average-to-above-average team with the same average-to-above average corps and coaches and that degree of continuity gives them an advantage over a lot of the other teams that will be fighting for the wild card scraps in this suddenly top-heavy conference. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: Kyler Murray's Work Ethic 

Committing to Kyler Murray as a franchise quarterback was an expected move by the Cardinals. He helped put a stop to a woeful run of QB play that followed Carson Palmer's last productive season in 2015 and this team hasn't had a reliable starting QB that was under the age of 35 since Neil Lomax in the 80's. Despite their willingness, the Cardinals were revealed to have some pause about giving the #1 overall pick in the 2019 draft a massive extension after a press leak revealed that the contract contained a clause requiring Murray to commit to "4 hours of independent study" (code for watch film on the opponent) every week. Shortly after this information became public, the Cardinals released a statement making it sound like this was no big deal before revealing they'd removed that language from the contract and Murray hosted a press conference where he fiercely defended his work ethic and bashed the media for daring to question it.

While it's understandable that Murray would be offended by the perception that he isn't a hard worker, it's hard not to read into this situation. The Cardinals wouldn't have put a clause in his big money contract if he was the typical "first one in/last one out" QB and hearing that someone who is viewed as and being paid like an elite QB struggles to watch film is very alarming. If Murray can't be bothered to properly prepare for an opponent, questions begin to rise about the rest of his tendencies. Does he take the time to say work on building a rapport with a new top WR in Brown and a 2nd year guy in Rondale Moore-who is in line to get a heavy increase in snaps while Hopkins is on the shelf? Is he spending an adequate amount of time preparing for key football situations like the 2-minute drill, no huddle and redzone? Can he recognize a look from the defense and audible out of a playcall from the sideline in favor of running something that's better suited to work against a given front? Murray is naturally gifted enough as a thrower and rusher to put together a passable career without putting forth that much extracurricular effort, but he's never going to accomplish anything of note without being diligent in his preparation. Clearly the Cardinals aren't convinced that he's all the way dialed in as he enters his 4th pro season and that's a dangerous situation to be in with a guy that they owe at least $160 million over the next 5 seasons. 

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Fixing Their Red Zone Offense

For the first 80 yards of the field, the Cardinals were a pretty high-flying offensive machine in 2021. They ranked 8th in total offensive yards as their balanced attack (their rushing and passing offense were both ranked 10th in the league) earned 1st downs and made chunk plays with relative ease. When they worked their way down to the redzone, things got bogged down a bit more. Their redzone offense was ranked 14th overall as they managed to score a TD on just 60% of their trips. Like in the past, this notable decline in offensive productivity once they enter that mystical land where their opponents endzone resides is largely brought on by Kingsbury's playcalling and overall management of these situations. 

Whether it's going for it on 4th and goal at the wrong time or simply refusing to get creative with his playcalls, Kingsbury looks like he's routinely in over his skis in the redzone. Instead of dialing up an RPO that takes advantage of Murray's rushing ability or that frees up a big body like Zach Ertz or A.J. Green, he calls a lot of simple HB dives that regularly go nowhere behind the Cardinals average offensive line and shovel passes that rely on YAC. It's just shocking to watch him draw up the same old shit and yield the same results, especially when the team is on the wrong end of the scoreboard. Kingsbury is an alleged offensive guru that has a group of players that were brought in to play in his uptempo spread system and it's beyond time that he proved that by fielding a group that's just as lethal in the redzone as they elsewhere on the field.

Bottom Line:

After a fluky successful 2021, order appears set to return to the desert as the Cardinals set their sights on another average season filled with questionable coaching, up-and-down play from Murray and zero mental toughness. 

Los Angeles Rams

2021 Record: 12-5 (1st in NFC West)

Head Coach: Sean McVay (6th season)

Notable Additions: ILB Bobby Wagner, WR Allen Robinson, CB Troy Hill

Notable Departures: OLB Von Miller, T Andrew Whitworth (retired), WR Robert Woods

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Landing More Talent

When a team wins a Super Bowl, they'll usually just add a couple of accomplished aging vets that are eager to win a title to their roster and call it a day. In fairness, the Rams did make one of those signings in Bobby Wagner-who even at 33 provides a massive upgrade over the Ernest Jones and Troy Reeder duo they had starting at inside linebacker last year- but Les "Fuck Them Picks" Snead had loftier ambitions than that.

Snead went shopping in free agency like he was the time that lost the Super Bowl. He kicked things off by acknowledging that Robert Woods was too expensive/old to retain for another year (the ACL tear he suffered last October also had to factor into the decision to move on from him) and Odell Beckham Jr.-who hit free agency in the spring-wouldn't be able to play this year after suffering an ACL tear in the Super Bowl. This meant that the Rams were suddenly in the market for a WR2 and instead of using the luxury of having Cooper Kupp on the roster as a reason to opt for a value option such as DeVante Parker, Russell Gage or Marquez Valdez-Scantling, Snead went out and got the biggest name on the open market in Allen Robinson. Don't let a poor 2021 season with the Bears fool you. Robinson is an elite-level talent that excels at making contested catches and overeager corners looks silly all over the field. Given the production he's put up in the past with Blake Bortles and Mitch Trubisky throwing him the ball, he could end up leading the league in receiving with someone of Matthew Stafford's caliber under center.

While the other moves weren't quite as splashy as the Robinson and Wagner signings, the Rams made multiple other savvy moves to bolster their roster. Getting Troy Hill back to LA after Darious Williams left for a big payday in Jacksonville preserves their standing as one of the best corner groups in the league and despite how integral he was for the franchise over the past 10 seasons, moving from Johnny Hekker-whose numbers had tanked in back-to-back season-in favor of Riley Dixon at punter is the right move.

A challenging cap space situation did that caused them to lose out in the Von Miller sweepstakes and shed some starters/depth pieces (Sebastian Joseph-Day, Austin Corbett, Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, the aforementioned Darious Williams) and Andrew Whitworth finally retiring after a 62-year career will definitely. However, the surplus of depth they've built up throughout this roster along with these new impact players should be able to keep the damage from these personnel losses on their win/loss record to a minimum.  

Biggest Reason for Concern: Matthew Stafford's Elbow

Of all the training camp injury reports that surfaced in the past month, the ones involving Matthew Stafford's elbow are among the most concerning. The news broke in early August that the Rams had shut Stafford down from throwing and were closely monitoring his workload after it was revealed that he was dealing with a tendinitis-like injury in his throwing elbow that is usually found in baseball pitchers. Coach Sean McVay even publicly said that he was baffled by the ailment and that he's never seen anything like it in a football player. Both Stafford and McVay have publicly stated that the elbow won't be a concern moving forward, but since Stafford was held out of every preseason game, there's no way to know if that's true or a bullshit PR deflection tactic at this juncture.

While it could very well end up being a pain tolerance issue that doesn't hold Stafford back, it's hard to feel comfortable when the words "unusual" and "lingering" are frequently used to describe an ailment a quarterback is dealing with on their throwing arm. I'm no doctor, but those terms have a tendency to be associated with serious fucking problems. This entire Rams operation is built around Stafford being available (the Rams backup is once again John Wolford-who is best known for starting their 2020 regular season finale after Jared Goff sustained a thumb injury the previous week and has yet to throw a TD on 48 career pass attempts) and playing at a high level, so it's pretty imperative that he's out there slinging the rock at this typical level or this team could be headed for a miserable underachieving  season that nobody would've ever predicted as recently as late July.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Not Getting Complacent After Winning a Title

I know this is a real "no shit sherlock" situation, but it's especially crucial for the Rams to not coast off of their success last season. Their absurd talent level in a depleted NFC field will make loafing a bit pretty tempting and while they have the luxury of having more wiggle room than a reigning champion typically, they have to resist urge. There are guys on this team that were already going to the Hall of Fame (Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey) before they won a ring that can treat actually winning one as just another notch on their $100,000 designer belt. But you know what really builds a legacy? Winning multiple rings with the same team and corps. Jim Kelly, Bruce Smith and Andre Reed may have ultimately it made to Canton for all they accomplished with the Bills teams that went 0 for 4 in Super Bowls, but their shrines are a lot less shiny than their counterparts from the 80's 49ers and 90's Cowboys teams that have diamond rings to go with their gold jackets and busts. The Rams have the horses, favorable contract situations (aka the key guys are all signed long-term) and relative youth to win additional championships over the new few years and they'll be in the mix to do so as long as they remain hungry, focused and dedicated in their pursuit of the Lombardi Trophy.

Bottom Line:

As long as Matthew Stafford's elbow remains functional, the very well-coached, immensely talented Rams will be back among the title contenders in 2022.

San Francisco 49ers

2021 Record: 10-7 (3rd in NFC West)

Head Coach: Kyle Shanahan (6th season)

Notable Additions: CB Charvarius Ward, S George Odum, WR/KR Ray-Ray McCloud 

Notable Departures: C Alex Mack (retired), G Laken Tomlinson, S Jaquiski Tartt

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Kyle Shanahan is Around to Navigate Them Through a Bit of a Turbulent Period 

While league circles have been buzzing non-stop about Trey Lance's readiness to take the starting quarterback reigns and their decision to ultimately keep Jimmy Garoppolo around as insurance for Lance after failing to find a trade partner for the 31-year-old veteran, the 49ers have been dealing with a number of additional headaches/potentially concerning situations during the offseason. They're rolling out a whole new starting interior offensive group (2nd year player Aaron Banks and rookie Spencer Burford at guard, career backup Jake Brendel at center) following the retirement of Alex Mack, free agent departure of Laken Tomlinson and benching of Daniel Brunskill, veteran safety Jimmie Ward is out for at least the 4 weeks of the season-which has suddenly inserted 2nd year special teamer Talanoa Hufanga into a starting lineup that is already featuring a new full-time starter in Tarvarius Moore-who missed all of 2021 with an Achilles tear and has only logged 8 career starts (all in 2020 when now ex-49er Jaquiski Tartt was out of the lineup with turf toe) and their interior defensive line depth took another hit with D.J Jones leaving for the Broncos in free agency-which puts more pressure on 2020 1st rounder Javon Kinlaw to step up after an underwhelming start to his career. There is no question that this is a bit of an uncertain, turbulent period for a 49ers team that has been really good of late save for their injury-ravaged 2020 campaign, but fortunately for them they have Kyle Shanahan running the show.

Part of Shanahan's growth into a good head coach has been his positive track record of dealing with adversity. Just last season, he brought this team back from a rough 3-5 start by ripping off a 7-2 finish to the season that included a pair of wins over the Rams and a road OT victory over the Bengals. In that brutal 2020 season, he kept this team competitive in most games (only 3 of their 10 losses were by 10+ points and a 34-17 defeat to the Packers was the only one that exceeded 10) despite having 3 different starting QB's throughout the year, a whopping 16 players on season-ending IR and another dozen or so guys that missed at least half the season with injuries. As long as the bulk of the team's injury-prone stars (Nick Bosa, Deebo Samuel, George Kittle, Mike McGlinchey) can stay healthy, he and his shrinking yet still very talented group of assistants (Demeco Ryans, Bobby Slowik, Anthony Lynn, Corey Undlin, Kris Kocurek, Chris Foerster) should be able to successfully manage the Lance/Garoppolo situation and their influx of new, unproven starters on both sides of the ball without sacrificing wins in the process.

Biggest Reason for Concern: The Trey Lance/Jimmy Garoppolo Dynamic

Ready or not, the time is now for Trey Lance in San Francisco. The team invested too many future draft picks to trade up and select him with the 3rd overall pick in the 2021 draft to have him take another redshirt year behind Garoppolo. Shanahan and John Lynch agreed throughout the offseason process, as they repeatedly asserted that this was Lance's team and they were going to move on from Garoppolo. Then just week, shit got really muddy all of a sudden. After failing to find a trade partner and wanting to avoid the likely worst-case scenario of him landing with the rival Seahawks after they released him, they decided to keep him as a backup. This sudden shocking development added a lot more fuel to the troubling offseason narrative that Lance's arm was struggling to hold up to the rigors of an NFL passing workload and adjust to the speed of the pro game. 

Bringing back Garoppolo may provide the 49ers with some additional piece of QB in the interim, but it's opening up the possibility of multiple negative outcomes surrounding Lance's future. If Garoppolo was retained due to Lance's poor offseason performance, that's a sign that the team is experiencing some serious buyer's remorse and are trying to cope with the unwelcome possibility that they gave up all that draft capital to select a guy that just can't hack it as an NFL QB. If Garoppolo's return was simply brought on by a fear of him going to the Seahawks if they released him, they may've created a QB controversy that will do irreputable damage to Lance's psyche after only 2 career starts. 

If Lance stinks out of the gate and Shanahan quickly brings out the hook and benches him in favor of Garoppolo, how will the team know if the kid actually stinks? As reasonable as the concerns are surrounding his ability to play in the pros after playing in a simple, run-heavy system at the D1-A level in college, it feels like Lance isn't really getting a chance to prove himself in the league and that's just not fair for a kid that the team was so eager to acquire 17 months ago after the man who's currently looking over his shoulder was deemed to be unfit to remain the starter by the organization.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Deebo Samuel Remaining Healthy

Deebo Samuel wasn't some unheralded talent when he came out of the University of South Carolina in 2019. The kid's versatility as an offensive weapon and ability to make plays on the open field popped on tape and it was pretty clear that he was going to be special at the next level if things broke his way. What prevented Samuel from being a 1st round pick in the 2019 draft was the same thing that prevented other top-tier talents including Rob Gronkowski, Keenan Allen and DK Metcalf from hearing their name called from picks #1-32 earlier in the same decade: Injuries. Between the broken fibula that cost him most of his 2017 season and a whole host of other bang and bruises along the way (ankle sprains, hamstring pulls, foot issues), Samuel spent a ton of time on the sideline in college and spending a 1st round pick on a guy with a track record of durability issues isn't advantageous.

Those durability issues have followed Samuel to the pros as he missed 9 games in 2020 and been a frequent flyer on the injury reports in 2019 and 2021 despite missing just a combined 2 games over those times. However, what else has followed Samuel is his status as an impact player. Samuel cemented himself as a key cog in the 49ers offense right away with 802 receiving YDS and 6 total TD's during his rookie year and after struggling in his injury-shortened 2020, became the heart of the entire operation with his incredible 2021 campaign that saw him score 14 TD's, register 1,770 scrimmage YDS (1,405 receiving, 365 rushing) and average a league-leading 18.2 YDS per reception.

Particularly given the situation with Lance coming in as the new starter that the team appears to have some confidence issues in, it's crucial that Samuel stays healthy. His ability to make plays on the ground and through the air makes him a special, offense-altering weapon that could really help ease the transition process for a young QB. No disrespect to Brandon Aiyuk, Eli Mitchell and the great All-Pro tight end George Kittle, but Samuel is the most indispensable player on this offense and the consequences brought on by him not being out there could be particularly dire for this 49er team that is less proven/deep than they have been over the past few years.

Bottom Line:

As challenging as the whole Trey Lance/Jimmy Garoppolo QB predicament is shaping up to be, the 49ers have more than enough on this roster and coaching staff to overcome this turbulence and remain a winning franchise.   

Seattle Seahawks

2021 Record: 7-10 (4th in NFC West)

Head Coach: Pete Carroll (13th season)

Notable Additions: TE Noah Fant, DT Shelby Harris, QB Drew Lock

Notable Departures: QB Russell Wilson, ILB Bobby Wagner, T Duane Brown 

Biggest Reason for Excitement: DK Metcalf Signing an Extension

Trading Russell Wilson during the final year of his deal could've given DK Metcalf plenty of incentive to leave the Seahawks in free agency once his rookie deal expired at the end of the season. Considering his age (he turns 25 in December) and talent level, he could go anywhere in the league and avoid the frustration of sticking around in a place that could very well be headed for a rebuild. But despite their currently cloudy future at QB, Metcalf decided to stay loyal to the team that ended his unexpected slide to the tail end of the 2nd round in the 2019 draft by inking a 3-year extension worth up to $72 mil that will keep him in Seattle through the 2025 season. Regardless of whether the Seahawks decide to draft a guy in the 1st round or use the draft capital they acquired from the Broncos in the Wilson trade to acquire a veteran in a trade, having a tough, athletic playmaker like Metcalf in the receiving corps is going to make Seattle an appealing option for any QB they choose to court.     

Biggest Reason for Concern: Geno Smith is currently the Starting Quarterback

In the long-term, the Seahawks are taking the right approach to finding a QB. Using the extra draft capital they picked up in the Wilson deal to try and build up their largely thin roster instead of trading for one of the many available vets while also refusing to draft a signalcaller from this questionable draft class was the right move by John Schneider-particularly since they ended up with a few really high upside players (tackle Charles Cross, edge rusher Boye Mafe, running back Kenneth Walker III). The unfortunate trade-off is that choice left them hosting an open competition between Geno Smith-who served as Wilson's backup from 2019-2021 and ex-Bronco Drew Lock-a 2019 2nd round pick who the Seahawks felt compelled to kick the tires on for reasons that likely boil down to the fact that he's cheap and played pretty well at the end of the 2019 season before spectacularly imploding in the subsequent 2 seasons-in camp. Courtesy of his institutional knowledge and Lock's continued struggles, Smith was awarded the job a couple weeks back. 

The pluses with Smith begin and end with the fact that he has experience in this system and with these receivers. Smith is one of those guys that is just good enough to justify him staying on an NFL roster, but not good enough to feel good when he's forced into action. His career record as a starter is 13-21 and 8 of those wins came during his rookie campaign with the Jets in 2013 and his passing numbers (6,917 YDS/34 TD's/37 TD's/58.8 CMP%/75.7 QBR) epitomize shoulder shrug-worth mediocrity. An optimist would point to his numbers during his 4 appearances and 3 starts in relief of an injured Wilson last season (702 YDS/5 TD/1 INT/68.4 CMP%/103.0 QBR) as a sign that Geno has improved since he got to the Seahawks, but that sample size is way too small and the team's results weren't nearly good enough (they went 1-3 in the games he appeared in) to draw any really positive conclusions from that stretch of play. He's a stopgap in the purest sense of the word and everyone in the organization will be happy when he goes back to the bench or ends his time in Seattle altogether in 2023.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Securing a Bad Enough Record to Make Landing Their Next Starting QB As Easy as Possible

The only goal for the 2022 Seahawks is to lose enough to secure a high draft pick. Whether they want to use that pick to select Bryce Young, C.J. Stroud or some hotshot that ascends into the 1st round conversation in the next few months or package that pick into a trade for a veteran will be their choice to make next spring, but dropping games is the only way to ensure that they control their own destiny in their QB search. 

Making this goal very attainable is their pretty poor roster situation. The offensive line (Damien Lewis, Gabe Jackson, Cross, Jake Curhan, Austin Blythe-the latter 3 being new starters) has the potential to be a mess if Cross struggles as a rookie, Smith isn't capable of willing the team to wins like Wilson did many times during his 10 years here and while adding ex-Bears DC/longtime Vic Fangio understudy Sean Desai to their defensive staff and a couple of nice veteran pieces to their front 7 (Shelby Harris, Uchena Nwosu) should make them better than they were last year, their question marks at corner (they're starting raw rookies Tariq Woolen and Coby Bryant next to incumbent #1 corner Sidney Jones) and at linebacker (Jordyn Brooks has been so-so through 2 seasons and Cody Barton has yet to prove he contribute outside of special teams in the pros) in the wake of Bobby Wagner's exit will likely be enough of a detriment to keep them in the bottom half of the league in most categories. A group with that resume shouldn't be able to win more than 5-6 games in circumstances where the playing field is level and/or the Seahawks aren't purposefully tanking. The 2022 Seahawks have the power to conceivably dictate the next 10-15 years of this franchise just by playing up to the ability level of their roster, so go (and lose) 'Hawks and give this front office another crack at landing a franchise QB.

Bottom Line:

Trading Russell Wilson is launching what will at least be a soft rebuild in Seattle and without strong quarterback play to prop up their flawed roster, the results are going to pretty ugly.

Projected Standings:

1.Los Angeles Rams (12-5)

2.San Francisco 49ers (10-7)

3.Arizona Cardinals (7-10)

4.Seattle Seahawks (5-12)

Tuesday, September 6, 2022

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 1

1.Los Angeles Rams Week 1 opponent: Buffalo Bills

2.Tampa Bay Buccaneers Week 1 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

3.Cincinnati Bengals Week 1 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers 

4.Buffalo Bills Week 1 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

5.Kansas City Chiefs Week 1 opponent: Arizona Cardinals 

6.Green Bay Packers Week 1 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

7.Baltimore Ravens Week 1 opponent: New York Jets

8.Philadelphia Eagles Week 1 opponent: Detroit Lions

9.San Francisco 49ers Week 1 opponent: Chicago Bears

10.Las Vegas Raiders Week 1 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers 

11.Los Angeles Chargers Week 1 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

12.Tennessee Titans Week 1 opponent: New York Giants 

13.Dallas Cowboys Week 1 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

14.Indianapolis Colts Week 1 opponent: Houston Texans

15.Arizona Cardinals Week 1 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs  

16.Miami Dolphins Week 1 opponent: New England Patriots 

17.New England Patriots Week 1 opponent: Miami Dolphins

18.Minnesota Vikings Week 1 opponent: Green Bay Packers

19.New Orleans Saints Week 1 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

20.Pittsburgh Steelers Week 1 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals  

21.Denver Broncos Week 1 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

22.Washington Commanders Week 1 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

23.Cleveland Browns Week 1 opponent: Carolina Panthers

24.Carolina Panthers Week 1 opponent: Cleveland Browns

25.New York Jets Week 1 opponent:  Baltimore Ravens

26.Detroit Lions Week 1 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

27.Chicago Bears Week 1 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

28.Jacksonville Jaguars Week 1 opponent: Washington Commanders

29.Atlanta Falcons Week 1 opponent: New Orleans Saints 

30.Seattle Seahawks Week 1 opponent: Denver Broncos

31.Houston Texans Week 1 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

32.New York Giants Week 1 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

Monday, September 5, 2022

Justin Long Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Justin Long-whose latest project "Barbarian" opens in theaters on Thursday. 

Justin Long's Filmography Ranked:

19.Tusk (D-)

18.Yoga Hosers (D)

17.Movie 43 (D)

16.Jeepers Creepers (D)

15.Strange Wilderness (C)

14.Wake Up, Ron Burgundy (C+)

13.For a Good Time, Call... (C+)

12.Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (B-)

11.Youth in Revolt (B-)

10.Waiting... (B-)

9.Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (B)

8.Going the Distance (B)

7.Idiocracy (B)

6.Galaxy Quest (B)

5.Drag Me to Hell (B+)

4.Zach and Miri Make a Porno (A-)

3.Live Free or Die Hard (A-)

2.Walk Hard: A Dewey Cox Story (A-)

1.Accepted (A)

Top Dog: Accepted (2006)

Accepted is the rare comedy from my teenage years that has bypassed the expiration date comedy tends to have. Why is that? Simple: There's a genuine warmth underneath all of its irreverent silliness. The characters in this film make the most of a shitty situation that was beyond their control (getting rejected from college) and spend their time exploring their interests and figuring who the hell they really are at a "school" that they invented themselves. Having a silly teen comedy reenforce the importance of self-discovery and pursuing a career that you're passionate is just beautiful to see and I really wish more movies would combine feel-good messaging with proudly dumb humor that hits at a very high clip. 

Bottom Feeder: Tusk (2014)

The moment I knew that Kevin Smith had completely lost his knack for comedy and general zest for filmmaking came about a quarter of the way through Tusk. Despite boasting a whacky horror comedy presence (a podcaster travels to Canada to meet with a wheelchair-bound retired sailor who is obsessed with the walrus that saved his life after a shipwreck, but soon discovers a sinister plot that will change his life forever), Tusk manages to a brutally dull film that tries very hard to be funny and shocking but fails miserably in both areas.  

Most Underrated: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

In my eyes, Live Free or Die Hard is far better than its merely decent reputation and the uncontested standout among the Die Hard sequels. Bruce Willis slides effortlessly back into the role of John McClane after a 12-year hiatus with one of his last great performances, Timothy Olyphant makes for a terrific villain that mixes menace with abundant magnetism and the action sequences are spectacular bursts of over-the-top blockbuster showmanship that are absurdly fun to watch.

Most Overrated: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

With the possible exception of Wrong Turn, there isn't a cult horror movie from the 2000's that impressed me less than Jeepers Creepers. While there are a couple of eerie, disturbing scenes in the early stages of the movie, that initial potential quickly fades once the films transforms into a poor supernatural slasher movie halfway through.  Few horror villains are as immediately forgettable as the ancient, winged monster known as "The Creeper" and the rushed final act that jams an entire movie's worth of mythology into 3-5 minutes of worth of exposition reveals just how inept writer/director/convicted sex offender Victor Salva is as a storyteller.

Top Instance of Sam Raimi Pulling a Fast One on Hollywood and Allowing Him to Make an Absolutely Insane Horror Comedy: Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness was a much-needed reminder of the joy that comes from watching Sam Raimi operate in his giddy, self-aware camp horror sweet spot. The last time we got to see Raimi cook like that while also burning the money of a major studio and pushing the limits of the PG-13 rating came on Drag Me to Hell. This supernatural horror comedy is a bonkers whirlwind of a movie that features plenty of hilarious gross-out gags, off-kilter camera angles/editing choices that really make its spooky meets silly atmosphere sing and a home run of an ending that is impossible to forget. 

Thursday, September 1, 2022

2022 NFL Preview: AFC West

Denver Broncos

2021 Record: 7-10 (4th in AFC West)

Head Coach: Nathaniel Hackett (1st season)

Notable Additions: QB Russell Wilson, DE Randy Gregory, CB K'Wuan Williams

Notable Departures: TE Noah Fant, DT/DE Shelby Harris, QB Teddy Bridgewater

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Russell Wilson's Arrival

This may be the single most obvious choice of the entire series so far. How could the acquisition of Russell Wilson not absolutely delight the Broncos organizations and their fans? Since the team won the Super Bowl in 2015 with a depleted Peyton Manning, they've had 1 winning season and 0 playoff appearances while trotting out a sad carousel of QB's that included Trevor Siemian, Paxton Lynch, Drew Lock, Brock Osweiler, Case Keenum, Joe Flacco and Teddy Bridgewater. During that same span, Wilson logged 4 playoff appearances and 1 losing season with the Seahawks. Getting a QB who has a Super Bowl ring, one of the most impressive resumes of any active QB and is just 2 years removed from a 40 TD season feels like a divine blessing after sitting through 6 straight seasons of mediocre-to-wretched play from that season. There are plenty of questions about Wilson's longevity and the makeup of the Broncos roster that could dampen the party a bit, but for now, everybody who works, plays or roots for this team should be thrilled about the return of a real quarterback to the Mile High City.    

Biggest Reason for Concern: Wilson's Level of Play at This Stage of His Career

Any celebration of the Wilson trade ends here. Now, it's time to get down to the cynical caveats attached to it. 2021 proved to be Wilson's worst season as a pro and that is reenforced by him picking up a losing record (6-8) as a starter for the 1st time in his career. There were plenty of factors that led to the Seahawks struggles last season including Wilson hurting the thumb on his throwing hand in early October, a questionable performance from 1st year OC Shane Waldron and a defense that couldn't stop anybody-particularly through the air, but Wilson's struggles weren't solely linked to injuries. Something felt off about his game even before he dinged up his thumb and the clutch, scrambling deep ball-chucking version of Wilson barely made any appearances last season. Could this be attributed to him being a poor fit in Waldron's scheme? For sure, but Wilson's age (33 going on 34) paired with his small stature and all the hits he took behind the Seahawks pretty consistently poor offensive line for a decade, 2021 could go down as the start of a notable decline in play for Mr. Unlimited.   

Adding to these concerns is the harsh reality that he might not be entering a rosier situation in Denver. The Broncos offensive line isn't exactly an impenetrable fortress with none of their lineman save for Garrett Bolles demonstrating better than somewhat above average play of late, Nathaniel Hackett is an enigma as an offensive mind (more on that in a minute), their defense is pretty average save for a couple secondary pieces (Justin Simmons, Patrick Surtain II) and ironically got worse when they shipped their best front 7 player Shelby Harris to Seattle in the Wilson trade (nobody will be able to sell me that Randy Gregory is some kind of real impact player after 1 decent season in Dallas) and while still talented pro WR's, Courtland Sutton and Jerry Jeudy aren't as dynamic or reliable as the duo of DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett that Wilson left behind. If Wilson is indeed still physically capable of playing at a high level, he's going to need be into an optimal situation to get past the hurdles that the Seahawks couldn't clear of late and I'm not confident that the Broncos can provide that for him. 

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Nathaniel Hackett Being a Legit Offensive Mind

Nathaniel Hackett ended up as the newest head coach of the Broncos based off his recent tenure as the Packers offensive coordinator.  Considering that Aaron Rodgers won 2 MVP's and the Packers went 39-10 in the regular season during his tenure there, it's easy to see why teams seeking an offensive-minded head coach were eager to land Hackett. There are a couple of caveats surrounding the success that Hackett had in Green Bay that need to be floated out into the world: 1. Rodgers is a finished product who doesn't need/want much coaching at this stage of his career. 2. Matt LaFluer calls the offensive plays and serves as the primary offensive game planner in Green Bay. Those pieces of information alone do a long way in clouding up Hackett's resume.

Well, that's just the start of the ambiguity surrounding Hackett. Prior to joining the Packers, Hackett had 2 stints as an offensive coordinator where he was responsible for calling the plays. However, those gigs were with the Bills in 2013-14 and the Jaguars in 2016-18. These offenses were led by a platoon of E.J Manuel/Kyle Orton/Thad Lewis/Jeff Tuel and Blake Bortles respectively and the supporting casts weren't a whole lot more appealing, so the largely poor stats amassed during those stints could be largely chalked up to personnel.

Of all the fates Hackett could face now that he's back calling the shots, the only one that is going to help the Broncos break free from this prolonged stretch of below average play is the one where he proves that he's a damn fine offensive mind that had the misfortune of being let down by poor talent in the past. Considering what the Broncos currently have at their disposal, envisioning a scenario where this materializes isn't too much of a stretch. The 1-2 backfield punch of Javonte Williams and Melvin Gordon should provide a coach like Hackett-whose previous history as a playcaller has included a heavy dose of the running game-with a varied attack that disorients and wears down opposing defenses Sutton and Jeudy could be a top 5 starting WR duo in the league if they stay healthy and if Wilson is on his game, Hackett should be delighted with the results he gets out of the QB spot. Anything that veers too far from this idyllic plan being executed well could bring the same old middling results or perhaps something even worse, which wouldn't exactly endear Hackett to a new ownership group that had no input on his hiring.

Bottom Line:

Somebody in the AFC West is going to fall on their faces this season and considering the overall makeup of their roster and mysterious surrounding the viability of their coach, my money is on the Broncos to be that team.

Kansas City Chiefs

2021 Record: 12-5 (1st in AFC West)

Head Coach: Andy Reid (10th season)

Notable Additions: WR JuJu Smith-Schuster, S Justin Reid, WR Marquez Valdez-Scantling

Notable Departures: WR Tyreek Hill, S Tyrann Mathieu, CB Charvarius Ward

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Defensive Improvements

Losing Tyrann Mathieu and the negative buzz that inevitably generates when a respected vocal leader with name recognition leaves the roster has overshadowed the string of movies the Chiefs made on defense that will likely make them a better overall unit. 

Letting Charvarius Ward walk in free agency is going to give Rashad Fenton more playing time-which he 100% deserves after his impressive play as an injury fill-in on the outside last year. 1st round pick Trent McDuffie is a physical, smart corner that should be up for the challenge of going against the AFC West's gauntlet of WR's. Carlos Dunlap is a steady pass-rushing presence who could really pop off now that he's transitioning to a situational role with the Chiefs. Their other 1st round pick George Karlaftis could struggle to make waves as a pass-rusher in the early going, but his sound playing style and instincts should make an immediate contributor as a run defender. And finally, Justin Reid has a better long-term forecast than Mathieu and should have no trouble filling his role as the rangey irritant who thumps receivers going over the middle and reels in 3-5 picks per year. Pairing these new additions and reshuffled returning players with continued improvement from some of their younger entrenched starters including Nick Bolton, Juan Thornhill and L'Jarius Sneed could provide Steve Spagnoulo's group withe boost it needs to grow into a top 10 unit.

Biggest Reason for Concern: The Running Game

Having such a dynamic passing attack with Patrick Mahomes at the helm has deemphasized the Chiefs need to be able to rush the ball consistently. Save for the occasional explosion from Clyde-Edwards Helaire in 2020 or Damien Williams in the 2nd half of their Super Bowl win in 2019, the Mahomes-era has been defined by sluggish performances on the game and a constant reminder that they haven't been able to find a replacement for Kareem Hunt since they (rightfully) cut him in November 2018 following the release of a video that showed him assaulting a woman outside of a hotel in Cleveland. Last season they managed to finish 16th in the league-which is exactly where they finished in 2020-in rushing despite not having a single guy finish with more than 558 YDS on the ground (Darrel Williams-who is now an Arizona Cardinal) and getting next to no spark plays on the ground outside of Mahomes himself.

With Tyreek Hill gone, the Chiefs aren't going to be as reliant on speed and splash plays to generate offense. The easiest way to keep the offense humming without those explosions would be to improve the running game. They conceivably have the horses up front with Orlando Brown Jr., Creed Humphrey, Joe Thuney, Trey Smith and Andrew Wylie to open up rushing lanes and even without Hill around, teams are going to be too focused on stopping Mahomes and the passing game to stack the box and make life particularly difficult on the backs. Unfortunately, the Chiefs just don't seem to have the RB talent to make the strides they need to rise above the spot in the direct middle of the pack that they've occupied for the past 2 seasons.

After roster cut down day on Tuesday, it appears they'll be heading into the season with Edwards-Helaire, Jerick McKinnon, Ronald Jones and Isaiah Pacheco. As of right now, it's difficult to get overly excited about anyone in this bunch-even in the context of a committee situation that they're likely to utilize. Edwards-Helaire appears to be the de facto starter once again, but a combination of injuries and questionable patience/vision as a rusher has caused to him have a pretty unassuming start to his NFL career. McKinnon looked really good in the playoffs last year and is probably the best pass-catcher of the bunch, but he's also a massive injury risk that can't be asked to handle a big workload at this stage of his career. Jones was a notoriously up-and-down player during his 4 years with the Bucs that possesses a bad fumbling problem that makes him particularly difficult to trust and it's honestly a bit of a surprise that he was even able to make the roster. The rookie Pacheco is the wild card of the bunch as a late-round selection who impressed in camp and the preseason with his burst, but he got very little run against real NFL players during the exhibition slate and doesn't feel like a steady bet to meaningfully contribute right away.

Andy Reid is the greatest offensive mind in the league whose track record of developing backs with the Eagles and during his early years with the Chiefs is outstanding and doubting his ability to produce a strong rushing game when his team needs it most would be silly. However, nobody from this group has proven they can be a consistently impactful back yet and it's going to take some of his best coaching to date to reverse this group's fortunes. 

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Making Up for the Loss of Tyreek Hill's Productivity in the Passing Game

A real "the sky is falling!!!" moment happened with the Chiefs when they shockingly dealt Tyreek Hill to the Dolphins in late March following some contract extent negotiations that irreparably damaged the relationship between the two sides. Hill is the single most dynamic receiver in the league and pairing that kind of weapon with Patrick Mahomes' arm talent made the Chiefs a threat to hit a home run on any play. When it comes to the obligatory replacement talk, simply sliding somebody else into Hill's role is off the table. Sure, Mecole Hardman is really fast and will be asked to run some of the vertical streaks that Hill scored many a touchdown on during his time with the Chiefs, but he doesn't quite have the burners that Hill has and he sure as hell doesn't have the route running/YAC skills that made him especially dangerous.

Filling the void in the passing game left by Hill is a job that's going to have to be split up among the WR/TE group. Naturally, Travis Kelce is going to be the new primary target and this is a role that he'll be able to handle just fine. He's been getting a shitload of attention for ages and getting a little bit more isn't going to stop him from being massively productive.  As I just mentioned above, Hardman will be a deep ball specialist that should also be able to handle some of the jet sweeps they liked to run with Hill as well.

Here's where things start to get tricky: Kelce and Hardman are the only returning primary pass-catchers for the Chiefs, so most of these guys have the extra pressure of having to develop a rapport with Mahomes and learn a new offense while they also try and help their new team make up for the loss of an All-Pro/potential future HOF wideout. It's a shitty ask, but this group should be able to make it work. 

The clear favorite for the #2 role at present is Juju Smith-Schuster. Juju ended his stint with the Steelers on a really sour note where he got more attention for TikTok dances than his play on the field, but he was really held back by the Steelers ultra-limited passing offense during Ben Roethlisberger's bloated mannequin era of 2020-21 and joining a more creative group with a quarterback that can actually throw the ball more than 9 yards downfield should do wonders for his productivity and allow him to return to the reliable YAC machine he once was.

Also expected to be among the starting lineup is Marquez Valdez-Scantling. As prone to disappearing as he was during his stint with the Packers, Valdez-Scantling is a freakish athlete who can haul in contested catches and make huge plays downfield. A move to an offense that is more open to spreading the ball around and doesn't have a moody quarterback who is known to ice receivers for weeks at a time every time they make a mistake could benefit him immensely.

Rounding out the depth chart is rookie Skyy Moore and ex-Buccaneer Justin Watson. Moore is a very interesting prospect who is tough and shifty enough to play in the slot while also being big and fast enough to play on the outside. His role right now is kind of up in the air, but there's a chance he becomes a real contributor later in the year once he gets better acclimated to the pro game. 

Watson's resume isn't overly impressive, as he's only logged 23 career receptions in 4 NFL seasons. He has however made some splash plays and was a practice favorite of one Tom Brady, so maybe there's some untapped potential there that wasn't given the chance to shine in the Bucs loaded receiver room. 

There's enough versatility and raw talent present in their ranks to remain a potent passing attack, it'll just be up to Reid and Eric Biniemy to figure out where each guy is going to be slotted on the field/which role they're going to playing in the passing game and Mahomes to make sure everybody gets involved.

Bottom Line:

I believe that the rumors of the Chiefs demise are greatly exaggerated and would be downright shocked if they weren't back in the playoffs and competeing for a title in 2022.

Las Vegas Raiders

2021 Record: 10-7 (2nd in AFC West)

Head Coach: Josh McDaniels (1st season)

Notable Additions: WR Davante Adams, OLB Chandler Jones, ILB Jayon Brown

Notable Departures: CB Casey Hayward Jr., OLB Yannick Ngakoue, ILB Corey Littleton

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Landing Davante Adams

While a breakout campaign from Hunter Renfrow stopped the bleeding a bit, the Raiders receiving corps was in a really rough spot last year. Neither Zay Jones or Bryan Edwards could fill the vertical threat role that Nelson Agholor exceled in during the 2020 season and Henry Ruggs' vehicular manslaughter incident further contributed to the black cloud that was surrounding the entire organization following the Jon Gruden email leak as well as abruptly ended the career of a player that the Raiders had positioned to be their long-term WR1. Well, the wounds of the 2021 season were quickly healed when the Raiders swung a stunning trade for Davante Adams.

Adams getting traded to the Raiders still doesn't feal real. Like why the hell would the Packers agree to trade the best WR in the league immediately after Aaron Rodgers re-signed with the team when they have no succession plan in place?!?!? That would be an act of lunacy! But since this deal is somehow indeed real, the potential implications of it have to be discussed.

Adding Adams alters the entire complexion of the Raiders offense. Gone are the days of chucking the ball downfield with the hopes that Bryan Edwards can reel it in or dinking-and-dunking their way down the field with short crossers to Renfrow. They now have a do-it all superstar receiver who is the best route-runner, contested catch specialist and redzone threat in the league at their disposal and all of the possibilities for utilizing that talent are endless. The reunion with Derek Carr-who was his college QB at Fresno State and opportunities his presence will open up for Renfrow and Darren Waller-who is back at full health after a disappointing 2021 season that saw him nursing injuries for the bulk of the year-are just the cherries on top of this potentially-franchise altering move. 

Kudos to Dave Zeigler and Josh McDaniels for being bold enough to make this kind of move a mere 2 months into their tenure with the team. All that time working for Bill Belichick clearly made them want to rebel and acquire a superstar as soon as they got out from under the roof of their domineering father who refuses to adapt to the modern ways of doing business. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: The Offensive Line

Sorry, there is ONE thing that could stop Davante Adams... The Raiders have the misfortune of having one of the worst offensive lines in football and having a good left tackle in Kolten Miller that has steadily improved throughout his career is probably the only reason they're not in contention for the title of the absolute worst. Andre James, John Simpson, Jermaine Elmeanour and Lester Cotton Sr. aren't starting offensive lineman in the pros. Hell, they're barely qualified to be bottom of the depth chart guys that only get playing time in extreme injury situations. These guys are the rare nightmarish combination of inept blockers and frequent flag-drawers who specialize in maddening holding and false start infractions. This was demonstrated with their brutal preseason showings that served as a clinic in getting blown away by the defense and racking up negative yards for their offense with all the penalties they picked up. 2021 1st round pick Alex Leatherwood being deemed not good enough to even grace a roster that features such a putrid collection of starters is a startling indictment on his game at the pro level. Since no help will be arriving this season, Derek Carr is going to need to do a lot of finger-crossing that he can make it through the season healthy and steadily move the ball/score points despite having a platoon of overmatched jabronis tasked with protecting him. 

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: The Maxx Crosby/Chandler Jones Duo Living Up to their Potential

Maxx Crosby's breakout 2021 All-Pro campaign becomes even more impressive when the lack of help he received from the supporting cast is factored into his statistical output (56 tackles, 8 sacks, 30 QB hits, 13 TFL's, 7 passes defensed). Crosby did the dirty work on the edge that allowed to Yannick Ngakoue to pick up his typical hollow 10 sacks on 8,000 pass-rushing attempts and often bailed out the poor play of their interior line (Jonathan Hankins, Quentin Jefferson, Solomon Thomas) with his deceptively strong play against the run.

This year, Crosby will go be going to war with somebody new on the edge and he should provide some much-needed help. The Raiders inked none other than 2x All-Pro/4x Pro Bowl edge rusher Chandler Jones to a deal in free agency after deciding to move on from Ngakoue after 1 season. While Jones has lost a couple steps since he exited the peak of his prime, he's still a very productive pass-rusher (he registered 10.5 sacks with the Cardinals last season) that will draw enough attention to make double teaming Crosby impossible. As long as Crosby's dominant 2021 wasn't a fluke and Jones doesn't hit a wall at age 32 going on 33, the prospect of a free-moving Crosby and Jones terrorizing opposing backfields should horrify any team that has a date with the Raiders this season

An added benefit to Crosby and Jones taking off as an edge duo would be the pressure their pressure would take off the secondary. Their pass defense ranked 13th in YDS and 22nd in TD's allowed last season and that was with Casey Hayward putting together a dame fine season on the outside and Nate Hobbs being a very pleasant surprise as a rookie in the slot. With the new combination of Rock Ya-Sin and Anthony Averett on the outside and Hobbs entering his sophomore season with legit expectations to follow up and build upon his strong rookie years, the potential for a much worse finish without some help from the stud edge rushers is very strong.

Bottom Line:

Despite the regime change and some glaring holes on key parts of their roster (offensive line, corner), the Raiders have enough proven firepower on offense and potential game-changers on the front 7 to be in the playoff mix again this year.

Los Angeles Chargers

2021 Record: 9-8 (3rd in AFC West)

Head Coach: Brandon Staley (2nd season)

Notable Additions: CB J.C. Jackson, OLB Khalil Mack, OLB Kyle Van Noy

Notable Departures: CB Chris Harris Jr., OLB Uchenna Nwosu, ILB Kyzir White

Biggest Reason for Excitement: All of the Big-Ticket Additions on Defense

Putrid interior defensive line play, an overmatched corner group led by rookies and over-the-hill veterans and undisciplined linebackers were all huge factors in the Chargers defensive struggles that saw them rank near the bottom of the league in most major categories (29th in scoring defense, 30th in rushing defense, 29th in rushing TD's allowed, 32nd in 3rd down defense, 26th in redzone defense, 22nd in YDS allowed per pass attempt). For the 2nd straight offseason, Tom Telesco took advantage of the cap flexibility that comes with having a QB on a rookie deal and aggressively addressed their biggest issues by adding top-end talent. Within the first 5 days of the new league year, Telesco acquired the top corner on the market (shutdown ballhawk J.C. Jackson), a star edge rusher with a multi-faceted game that perfectly complements Joey Bosa (Khalil Mack), a run-stuffing interior lineman (Sebastain Joseph-Day) and a smart, versatile linebacker that can handle everything from rushing the passer to coverage assignments in the middle of the field (Kyle Van Noy). Later on in the offseason, he capped things off with a pair of dice rolls in the super athletic, but very raw rookie safety J.T. Woods and the talented, but oft-injured veteran slot corner Bryce Callahan. Jackson already getting dinged up in camp and requiring minor ankle surgery that will likely keep out for the beginning of the regular season isn't the best start to this haul, but it's hard to not get giddy over what throwing this degree of high-end talent alongside established stars in Bosa and Derwin James and intriguing raw talents like Nasir Adderely and Asante Samuel Jr. could do for this defense. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: Brandon Staley's Reliance on Analytics

As horrific as the defense was, Brandon Staley's egregious use of analytics were equally to blame for the Chargers falling just short of the playoffs last season. Getting cute and going for it on 4th or going for 2 after a TD was semi-justifiable in the first 6 games when kicker Tristian Vizcaino was shanking kicks on the regular (he whiffed a shocking 6 extra points during his time in LA), but it became a lot harder to justify once Dustin Hopkins arrived and proved he could be relied on to make kicks (he was 18/20 on FG's and 30/32 on XP's in his 11 games with the Chargers last year). Those mismanaged situations were actually directly responsible for the late season losses to the Chiefs and Raiders that ultimately kept them out of the playoffs. 

While it's possible that season-ending Week 18 loss to the Raiders got Staley to rethink his overly aggressive, data-driven philosophy, people should be sweating bullets when the first major 4th down situation in a tight game arrives this season. Staley is by all accounts a good football mind, but as we've seen with Andy Reid's clock management woes and Kyle Shanahan refusing to run the ball in the 2nd half of the Super Bowl, great coaches can overthink shit and end up costing themselves games in the process. Putting down the spreadsheet is going to be hard for a young coach who clearly loves putting data into practice on a football field, but if the Chargers keep losing games due to Staley refusal to send the kicker out on a 4th and 12th on the opponents 20-yard line or on a 4th and goal from the 9, he will be applying data to real-world situations somewhere far away from a pro football field in the very near future.  

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: The Chargers Historic Bad Luck Not Making Too Many Appearances

 Looking at the Chargers current situation should be enough to inspire a great deal of confidence about their chances. Justin Herbert is a rising star who has the tools to be the best QB in the league someday. Their offensive line greatly improved with the additions of Rashawn Slater, Corey Linsley and Matt Feiler last season and should be even better this year with the addition of rookie guard Zion Johnson-who looked great throughout the preseason. Their collection of offensive skill position players (Keenan Allen, Mike Williams, Austin Ekeler, Josh Palmer, Jalen Guyton, Gerald Everett, the just-signed Sony Michel) is among the most exciting, explosive and dynamic in the entire league. While there are still some flaws at inside linebacker and along the defensive interior that will almost certainly prevent them from being a shutdown group, their defense has enough talent that they should be able to improve dramatically from last season's generally terrible numbers.

What's preventing a lot of people from going all-in on the Chargers is their history of things going wrong. Guys like Allen, James, Bosa, Mack and Mike Williams who have all missed considerable time with injuries during their careers-could be all on IR in short order. Or perhaps Hopkins will follow the lead of so many past Chargers kickers and shank multiple game-winning kicks before he gets released and replaced by another doomed soul in early November. Then there's of course the fun possibility that Staley keeps riding the analytics train and losses them 5-7 winnable games when they fail to score or convert. There are endless negative outcomes out there for the Chargers and if the football gods have their way, they'll experience many of them once again this season. 

The fate of this team is largely beholden to how much of this bad luck surfaces during the regular season. If the injuries, coaching gaffes and bad breaks are kept to a minimum, they should be a wagon. If the football gods to make it rain misery and misfortunate on the Chargers yet again, they're likely be headed to the bottom of this perceived juggernaut division and towards another top 12-15 draft pick. What direction they get in pulled could be revealed as early as Week 4 or as late as Week 18 (again). There are no rules to the Chargers bad luck, which is what makes it so hard to predict and so painful to experience as a fan.

Bottom Line:

I'm foolish enough to believe at this point that the Chargers won't get hit overly hard by their cursed tendencies this season and they will make the playoffs as a result of the mercy of the football gods.

Projected Standings:

1.Kansas City Chiefs (12-5)

2.Los Angeles Chargers (11-6)

3.Las Vegas Raiders (9-8)

4.Denver Broncos (6-11)