Justin Long Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Justin Long-whose latest project "Barbarian" opens in theaters on Thursday. 

Justin Long's Filmography Ranked:

19.Tusk (D-)

18.Yoga Hosers (D)

17.Movie 43 (D)

16.Jeepers Creepers (D)

15.Strange Wilderness (C)

14.Wake Up, Ron Burgundy (C+)

13.For a Good Time, Call... (C+)

12.Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (B-)

11.Youth in Revolt (B-)

10.Waiting... (B-)

9.Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (B)

8.Going the Distance (B)

7.Idiocracy (B)

6.Galaxy Quest (B)

5.Drag Me to Hell (B+)

4.Zach and Miri Make a Porno (A-)

3.Live Free or Die Hard (A-)

2.Walk Hard: A Dewey Cox Story (A-)

1.Accepted (A)

Top Dog: Accepted (2006)

Accepted is the rare comedy from my teenage years that has bypassed the expiration date comedy tends to have. Why is that? Simple: There's a genuine warmth underneath all of its irreverent silliness. The characters in this film make the most of a shitty situation that was beyond their control (getting rejected from college) and spend their time exploring their interests and figuring who the hell they really are at a "school" that they invented themselves. Having a silly teen comedy reenforce the importance of self-discovery and pursuing a career that you're passionate is just beautiful to see and I really wish more movies would combine feel-good messaging with proudly dumb humor that hits at a very high clip. 

Bottom Feeder: Tusk (2014)

The moment I knew that Kevin Smith had completely lost his knack for comedy and general zest for filmmaking came about a quarter of the way through Tusk. Despite boasting a whacky horror comedy presence (a podcaster travels to Canada to meet with a wheelchair-bound retired sailor who is obsessed with the walrus that saved his life after a shipwreck, but soon discovers a sinister plot that will change his life forever), Tusk manages to a brutally dull film that tries very hard to be funny and shocking but fails miserably in both areas.  

Most Underrated: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

In my eyes, Live Free or Die Hard is far better than its merely decent reputation and the uncontested standout among the Die Hard sequels. Bruce Willis slides effortlessly back into the role of John McClane after a 12-year hiatus with one of his last great performances, Timothy Olyphant makes for a terrific villain that mixes menace with abundant magnetism and the action sequences are spectacular bursts of over-the-top blockbuster showmanship that are absurdly fun to watch.

Most Overrated: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

With the possible exception of Wrong Turn, there isn't a cult horror movie from the 2000's that impressed me less than Jeepers Creepers. While there are a couple of eerie, disturbing scenes in the early stages of the movie, that initial potential quickly fades once the films transforms into a poor supernatural slasher movie halfway through.  Few horror villains are as immediately forgettable as the ancient, winged monster known as "The Creeper" and the rushed final act that jams an entire movie's worth of mythology into 3-5 minutes of worth of exposition reveals just how inept writer/director/convicted sex offender Victor Salva is as a storyteller.

Top Instance of Sam Raimi Pulling a Fast One on Hollywood and Allowing Him to Make an Absolutely Insane Horror Comedy: Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness was a much-needed reminder of the joy that comes from watching Sam Raimi operate in his giddy, self-aware camp horror sweet spot. The last time we got to see Raimi cook like that while also burning the money of a major studio and pushing the limits of the PG-13 rating came on Drag Me to Hell. This supernatural horror comedy is a bonkers whirlwind of a movie that features plenty of hilarious gross-out gags, off-kilter camera angles/editing choices that really make its spooky meets silly atmosphere sing and a home run of an ending that is impossible to forget.