Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Will Smith Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of the "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of one of America's sweethearts: Will Smith.  

Will Smith's Filmography Ranked:
23.Shark Tale (F)
22.The Legend of Bagger Vance (D)
21.Seven Pounds (D+)
20.After Earth (C)
19.Hitch (C+)
18.Men in Black II (C+)
17.Aladdin (B-)
16.Wild Wild West (B)
15.Gemini Man (B)
14.The Pursuit of Happyness (B)
13.Hancock (B)
12.Suicide Squad (B)
11.Bright (B+)
10.I, Robot (B+)
9.Focus (B+)
8.Independence Day (B+)
7.Bad Boys (B+)
6.Bad Boys for Life (B+)
5.Bad Boys II (B+)
4.Men in Black 3 (A-)
3.Concussion (A-)
2.I Am Legend (A)
1.Men in Black (A)

Top Dog: Men in Black (1997)
The original Men in Black should be right up there with Jurassic Park, The Matrix and Terminator 2: Judgement Day in the pantheon of 90's blockbusters. It's great mix of comedy and sci-fi action, inspired oddball lead pairing of the charismatic Smith and curmudgeon Tommy Lee Jones and clever premise made it a textbook display of the unparalleled wonders of high quality lighthearted entertainment.

Lowlight: Shark Tale (2004)
Of all the misguided, annoying and just flat out insufferable animated films I've ever seen, Shark Tale sits alone atop the trash heap. The only thing that's impressive about it is how the people at Dreamworks were able to assemble a star-studded voice cast that includes Smith, Robert De Niro, Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger and Martin Scorsese for what is essentially a disastrous  gangster movie starring sea creatures that's aimed at children for some reason. This shit is so cripplingly dumb, annoying and devoid of laughs or heart that it shouldn't been able to attract an awful community theater troupe, let alone an ensemble that as of today has a combined 6 Oscar wins and 25 nominations between them. Guess that's what the magic of big paychecks and a brand that was really popping after the massive success of Shrek can get you in Hollywood.    

Most Underrated: Focus (2015)
Following the dreary mediocrity of After Earth, Focus was the perfect vehicle for Smith to get his groove back. Driven by the intoxicating pairing of Smith and Margot Robbie, and a number of dazzlingly elaborate setpieces that take full advantage of their wonderous settings (New Orleans, Buenos Aries), this breezy, twist-heavy tale about a pair of con artists who quickly develop a complicated personal and working relationship following a chance encounter at an upscale restaurant keeps the audience engaged and guessing about what's real and what's part of the con until the very end.

Most Overrated: Hitch (2005)
Outside of Smith's abundant natural charisma in the titular role of dating advice guru Alex Hitchens, Hitch boasts a level of anonymity that would make The Phantom of the Opera jealous. The jokes are good enough to deliver some chuckles yet not inspired enough to land with any sort of real impact, the attempts to pull the heartstrings are neither corny enough to elicit a cringe or warm enough to be moving and perhaps worst of all, the characters are so collectively blah that it's hard to care whether or not they end up finding love by the end of the movie. Apathy is such a weird feeling to have about a romantic comedy that part of me would've almost preferred if it veered into obnoxiously unfunny/boring territory like Andy Tennant's other offerings from this era (Sweet Home Alabama, Fool's Gold, The Bounty Hunter), but alas here we are with the rare entry in this genre that falls firmly into the no man's land category of my rating spectrum.      

Most Iconic Turd: Wild Wild West (1999)
Wild Wild West is the rare kind of misfire that is so relentlessly bonkers that it becomes mesmerizing. The attempts at intentional humor are so oddly tasteless they develop kind of a surreal quality, Kenneth Branaugh's turn as a wheelchair-bound ex-Confederate officer with an affinity for engineering that's exceptionally advanced for 1869 is the type of unapologetic overacting that the medium needs more of and the fact that the devious plan Branaugh's character cooks up involves kidnapping the world's best scientists to build him a giant mechanical spider so he can intimidate Ulysses S. Grant into re-dividing the territories of the United States is so fucking absurd that it's a borderline stroke of creative genius. Now the Library of Congress needs to step up and do the right thing and enshrine this gloriously demented trainwreck into the National Film Archive as soon as it's appropriate to do so.      

An Entire Section Dedicated to Why His Portrayal of Genie in Aladdin was so great:
Here's a take that will likely make some Disney purists sick to their stomachs: Will Smith's portrayal of Genie in the live action version of Aladdin is just as good as Robin Williams' in the animated one. Smith's quick wit, joyous energy and inherent magnetism allows him to make the character his own while retaining the seemingly effortless scene-stealing quality that made Williams' portrayal so uniquely special.

Least Charismatic Live Action Role: Bagger Vance, The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)
The whole "it factor" ideology that separates bona fide movie stars from the rest of the acting community has been the focal point of Smith's identity as a screen performer since he debuted on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. His sheer magnetism is the type of powerful gravitational force that is just about impossible to ignore whenever he's on screen. Stripping that rare gift away is an exceptionally hard task, but The Legend of Bagger Vance managed to pull it off. Turns out all you need to do to suffocate Smith's endless likability is have him play a mystical, arguably offensive character that appears out of thin air to dispense advice to a drunk, disgraced World War I veteran (Matt Damon) who was a prolific golfer and all around swell guy with a heavily-desired lass before he left for the battlefield. As he slowly fixes the ills of Damon's personal and professional life, Smith becomes more and more of a charisma vacuum with each passing nauseatingly sentimental monologue of alleged wisdom. Thankfully, he's never managed to replicate this level of stunning emptiness on screen since and if he can make it out of a melodramatic stinker like Seven Pounds or dull epic like After Earth without sinking to those level of anti-charisma, I'm pretty confident he can continue to do so in the future.        

Monday, June 29, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Safeties

50.Tashaun Gipson (Bears)
49.Terrell Edmunds (Steelers)
48.Patrick Chung (Patriots)
47.Jessie Bates (Bengals)
46.Reshad Jones (Free Agent)
45.Andrew Sendejo (Browns)
44.Kenny Vaccaro (Titans)
43.Vonn Bell (Bengals)
42.Khari Willis (Colts)
41.Bradley McDougald (Seahawks)
40.Darnell Savage (Packers)
39.Juan Thornhill (Chiefs)
38.Jarrod Wilson (Jaguars)
37.Rodney McLeod (Eagles)
36.Jaquiski Tartt (49ers)
35.Jeff Heath (Raiders)
34.Budda Baker (Cardinals)
33.Damarious Randall (Raiders)
32.Chuck Clark (Ravens)
31.Malik Hooker (Colts)
30.Duron Harmon (Lions)
29.Xavier Woods (Cowboys)
28.Karl Joseph (Browns)
27.Jimmie Ward (49ers)
26.Jabril Peppers (Giants)
25.Tracy Walker (Lions)
24.Justin Reid (Texans)
23.Haha Clinton-Dix (Cowboys)
22.Quandre Diggs (Seahawks)
21.John Johnson III (Rams)
20.Malcolm Jenkins (Saints)
19.Landon Collins (Redskins)
18.Marcus Maye (Jets)
17.Jordan Poyer (Bills)
16.Tre Boston (Panthers)
15.Minkah Fitzpatrick (Steelers)
14.Anthony Harris (Vikings)
13.Justin Simmons (Broncos)
12.Kareem Jackson (Broncos)
11.Adrian Amos (Packers)
10.Derwin James (Chargers)
9.Marcus Williams (Saints)
8.Micah Hyde (Bills)
7.Eddie Jackson (Bears)
6.Earl Thomas (Ravens)
5.Devin McCourty (Patriots)
4.Tyrann Mathieu (Chiefs)
3.Jamal Adams (Jets)
2.Kevin Byard (Titans)
1.Harrison Smith (Vikings)

Friday, June 26, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year) Recap and Where to Stream Them

2010:
The A-Team (Honorable Mention)
The Book of Eli
Buried (Honorable Mention)
Going the Distance (Honorable Mention)
MacGruber
Piranha 3D

2011:
50/50
Attack the Block
Hobo with a Shotgun (Honorable Mention)
Horrible Bosses (Honorable Mention)
Martha Marcy May Marlene (Honorable Mention)
Super 8

2012:
American Reunion (Honorable Mention)
Dredd (Honorable Mention)
End of Watch 
The Expendables 2
Looper (Honorable Mention)
Smashed 

2013:
Fruitvale Station 
Inside Llewyn Davis (Honorable Mention)
The Last Stand (Honorable Mention)
Pain & Gain (Honorable Mention)
Short Term 12
The Spectacular Now

2014:
Dom Hemingway (Honorable Mention)
Edge of Tomorrow
Kill the Messenger (Honorable Mention)
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (Honorable Mention)
The Skeleton Twins
Top Five

2015:
Concussion (Honorable Mention)
Dope 
Match (Honorable Mention)
The Night Before
Sleeping with Other People (Honorable Mention)  
Steve Jobs

2016:
Don't Think Twice (Honorable Mention)
Green Room 
Keanu (Honorable Mention)
The Magnificent Seven (Honorable Mention)
The Nice Guys
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

2017:
Brigsby Bear (Honorable Mention)
The Disaster Artist 
Ghost in the Shell (Honorable Mention)
I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore (Honorable Mention)
Ingrid Goes West
Molly's Game 

2018:
Destination Wedding (Honorable Mention)
Mid90s
The Miseducation of Cameron Post (Honorable Mention)
The Night Comes for Us
Overlord
Red Sparrow (Honorable Mention)

2019:
Brittany Runs a Marathon (Honorable Mention)
Child's Play (Honorable Mention)
Dolemite is My Name 
Jumanji: The Next Level 
Long Shot 
Triple Frontier (Honorable Mention)


Where to Stream:
Amazon Prime:
Brittany Runs a Marathon
Child's Play
Destination Wedding
Inside Llewyn Davis
Mid90s
Overlord
Short Term 12
The Skeleton Twins
Super 8 

HBO/HBO Max:
Going the Distance
Long Shot 
The Nice Guys

Hulu:
Child's Play
Ingrid Goes West
Overlord
Super 8

Netflix:
The Disaster Artist
Dolemite is My Name
End of Watch
Green Room
I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
Molly's Game
The Night Comes for Us
Sleeping with Other People
The Spectacular Now (available until July 13th)
Steve Jobs
Triple Frontier

Rent (Amazon Video, YouTube, Xbox One/PS4, Cable Provider, etc.)/"Stream" Through Other Means:
50/50
The A-Team

American Reunion
Attack the Block
The Book of Eli
Brigsby Bear
Don't Think Twice
Dope
Dredd
Edge of Tomorrow
The Expendables 2
Fruitvale Station
Ghost in the Shell
Hobo with a Shotgun
Keanu
Kill the Messenger 
Jumanji: The Next Level
The Last Stand
Looper
MacGruber
The Magnificent Seven
Martha Marcy May Marlene 
Match
The Miseducation of Cameron Post
The Night Before
Pain & Gain
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Red Sparrow
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For 
Smashed 
Top Five

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2019

Honorable Mentions: Brittany Runs a Marathon, Child's Play, Triple Frontier 

Dolemite is My Name: In a really strong year for biopics that featured such unconventional triumphs as Rocketman, Honey Boy and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Dolemite is My Name managed to emerge as the clear leader in an elite clubhouse. Courtesy of Craig Brewer's energetic direction, Eddie Murphy's electrifying performance and a hilarious supporting cast (Wesley Snipes, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, Keegan Michael-Key, Craig Robinson, Mike Epps), comedian/eventual Blaxploitation icon Rudy Ray Moore's long journey to fame that culminated in the release of the cult classic Dolemite is transformed into a warm, wildly entertaining story of perseverance and dreams coming true against all odds.    

Jumanji: The Next Level:
Referring to a commercially successful blockbuster as "underrated" may see a little bit odd, but I believe that Jumanji: The Next Level doesn't get the level of credit it deserves for being a sequel that found creative ways to differentiate itself from its predecessor without losing sight of what made the original work. Bringing in new characters inside (Awkwafina) and outside (Danny DeVito, Danny Glover) of Jumanji allows for some inspired reshuffling of the body swap gimmick that drives the plot, the script adds some emotional depth by fleshing out the now college-aged kids (Alex Wolff, Morgan Turner, Ser'Darius Blain, Madison Iseman) that re-enter Jumanji and the avatar leads (Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Karen Gillan, Jack Black) seem to be enjoying playing these characters trapped inside of characters even more the second time around. It's just pure, massive-scale entertainment at its finest and I'd gladly watch 6,000 more of these contemporary Jumanji movies if they continued to be as fun as this.    

Long Shot:
I'd like to believe that the title of Long Shot is a reference to the odds of a love story that's set in the mind-numbing cesspool otherwise known as modern American politics being so utterly god damn delightful. Seriously, this movie is so fucking charming, good-natured and sweetly funny that it feels like it was sent here from another universe. Jonathan Levine, Liz Hannah, Dan Sterling, O'Shea Jackson Jr., June Diane Raphael, Ravi Patel, Andy Serkis, Bob Odenkirk, Alexander Skarsgard, Lisa Kudrow, Randall Park and of course the power couple themselves: president Charlize Theron and first man Seth Rogen, you're all miracle workers, and thank you for your contributions to the most improbable romantic comedy masterpiece in the history of cinema.

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Movie Review: Da 5 Bloods

A short synopsis of Spike Lee's Da 5 Bloods sets up a war story with a distinct narrative told from a  perspective that's rarely been shared on film. Four black Army veterans (Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Norm Lewis, Isiah Whitlock Jr.) who dubbed themselves "The Bloods" return to Vietnam in the present day to retrieve the remains of their beloved fallen squad leader (Chadwick Boseman) and a large stash of gold they buried in a combat zone. That simple premise seems to offer up a litany of excellent opportunities to examine a wide variety of subjects including the specific set of hardships that faced black soldiers faced when they returned to the United States, the eternal bond between soldiers and having the long dormant ghosts of their past be reawakened upon their return to Vietnamese soil all within the framework of an old school adventure tale. Despite early indications to the contrary, this isn't the film Da 5 Bloods ends up being.

At the start, Da 5 Bloods seems to be on the cusp of telling a complex, haunting and deeply poignant story. These four men spend their early scenes reconnecting in the present day by having conversations that reflect on the hellish environment of the battlefields they fought on and allude to everything from how a lot of white men that were their age were able to get out of going to Vietnam,which unsurprisingly includes a home run of a dig at Donald Trump, to the continued disenfranchisement they faced upon returning home. These pivotal establishing moments also introduce powerful arcs surrounding Lindo's character's long battle with PTSD and Peters' character discovery that he's fathered a daughter (Sandy Hurong Pham) with a former prostitute (Le Y Lan) he was close with during his service time. It's simply excellent storytelling that touches on a lot of interest, powerful subjects that haven't been explored in most of the past films about Vietnam and lays down the groundwork for something that feels like it's going to become really special.

Then the hunt for the lost gold comes into play and Da 5 Bloods morphs into something radically different. While this treasure hunt makes for quality entertainment that features some terrific moments of suspense, it ends up obscuring and undermining the deeper themes Lee hints at exploring in depth in the earlier parts of the film. This 90 minute sidequest sees the introduction of several supporting characters including Lindo's character's concerned son (Jonathan Majors), a trio of 30-somethings (Melanie Thierry, Paul Walter Hauser, Jasper Paakonen) who belong to an organization that clears landmines in former warzones and a local militia that's also hellbent on finding the gold that prevents further development of the Bloods both on an individual and group level as well as some heavy-handed, painfully contrived moments that take away from the raw realism that was on display in the early stages.

There isn't even the presence of some unexpected betrayal or a greed-driven dissolving of bonds along the way to make up for some of the depth that was lost by approaching this treasure hunt with full blown tunnel vision, it's pretty much just good guys vs. bad guys fighting over a huge gold stash in the Vietnamese jungle that ends with an Expendables-esque bloody standoff. Spending this much time on an engaging yet ultimately hollow treasure hunt just feels like an odd miscalculation by Lee that significantly dulls the potency of his intention to a shine a light on the black soldiers whose presence and plight has been minimized in both the history books and cinematic takes on said history.      
Da 5 Bloods is without question the most conflicted I've felt about one of Lee's films. It's a well-acted, uniquely compelling film that also happens to be scattershot and devoid of a clear message. It's a good start to unearthing a historical viewpoint that's been largely glossed over and a missed opportunity to explore it further. It's a showcase of the limitless ambition that makes Lee such a fascinating filmmaker and a damning example of the trouble he can have with forming his sweeping vision into a focused, cohesive product. While it's far too flawed for me to consider it a great film, it's definitely one that I'll have a hard time forgetting.           

Grade: B

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Will Ferrell Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Will Ferrell-whose latest project "Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga" hits Netflix on Friday. 

Will Ferrell's Filmography Ranked:
35.The House (C)
34.Casa De Mi Padre (C)
33.Superstar (C)
32.Zoolander 2 (C+)
31.Holmes & Watson (B-)
30.Semi-Pro (B-)
29.Kicking & Screaming (B-)
28.Get Hard (B-)
27.Stranger Than Fiction (B-)
26.Everything Must Go (B-)
25.Land of the Lost (B)
24.Daddy's Home 2 (B)
23.Daddy's Home (B)
22.The Internship (B)
21.The Ladies Man (B)
20.The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (B)
19.The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (B)
18.A Night at the Roxbury (B)
17.Blades of Glory (B)
16.The Campaign (B+)
15.Between Two Ferns: The Movie (B+)
14.Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (B+)
13.Starsky & Hutch (B+)
12.Wedding Crashers (B+)
11.The Lego Movie (B+)
10.Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (B+)
9.Elf (B+)
8.Old School (B+)
7.Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (A-)
6.Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (A-)
5.Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (A)
4.The Other Guys (A)
3.Zoolander (A)
2.Step Brothers (A)
1.Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (A+)

Top Dog: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004):
Despite #2-5 being movies that I consider to be iconic comedies that are perfectly tailored to my sense of humor, Anchorman remains an easy #1 pick. There hasn't been another comedy that I've ever watched more than this and even after nearly 10 watches, the shine of this gut-busting masterpiece hasn't worn off at all. It's the comedic equivalent of watching a team of maestros work and their collective brilliance results in some of the most inspired, insane and overwhelmingly hilarious things I've ever seen on film. Ferrell, Adam McKay, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell, David Koechner, Fred Willard and everybody else that utters a joke here deserves a place in a hypothetical Comedy Hall of Fame just for this priceless contribution to the artform.    

Lowlight: The House (2017):
While the bulk of Ferrell's recent output hasn't been particularly good, the shoulder-shrugging, mind-numbing mediocrity of The House is enough to put it firmly below the rest of the merely passable affairs he's been churning out with regularity for much of the past decade. How Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas and roughly a dozen other respected comic actors teamed up for a film about three clueless, financially-challenged suburbanites who team up to run an underground casino in their neighborhood wasn't a standout comedy truly boggles the mind. That premise feels like the perfect jumping off point for the type of wild, vulgar comedy that both the on-screen talent and writing/directing team of Andrew Jay Cohen and Brendan O'Brien (Mike and Dave Wedding Dates, both Neighbors movies) have excelled at throughout their careers yet the entire project feels like it almost consciously goes out of its way to neuter the constant opportunities for outrageous comedy gold to be mined. Everybody involved feels like they've been instructed to hold back for whatever reason and the few gags that do hit, almost all of which are in the redband trailer, are just a depressing sign of what could've been had these talented folks just played up absurd, unpredictable humor a movie like this needs to thrive.      

Most Underrated: Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013):
Considering the nearly 9-year wait and how the sequel to another cult classic comedy from the 2000's that I'll discuss further in a little bit turned out, Anchorman 2 was pretty much a runaway success story. The entire cast effortlessly slides back into their iconic characters, the absurd, satirical spirit is still very much in tact and there's plenty of scenes/improvised lines here that are cripplingly funny. 

Most Overrated: Stranger Than Fiction (2006):
Chalk this one up to something just not really being in my wheelhouse. Emma Thompson is pretty great as a jaded famous author whose depression-induced writer's block begins to threaten her career and its fantastical meta elements are clever at times, but the film is ultimately too quirky and cutesy for me to have anything more than a fleeting appreciation for it.

Best Character: Ron Burgundy (Anchorman, Anchorman 2):
Before Anchorman came along, Ferrell was already a rising star thanks to his successful tenure on Saturday Night Live and a couple of memorable turns in some dumb comedies (Zoolander, Old School) that found fanatical audiences upon their home video releases. With Burgundy, he found the perfect vessel for his comedic gifts and a character that will define him as a performer for the rest of time. Playing an exaggerated version of the overly confident, blissfully ignorant anchormen that dominated the landscape of 70's broadcast news provides Ferrell with a tremendous opportunity to flex his absurd comedy muscles by dispensing memorable quotes and inspired bits of physical comedy at a machine gun clip for 90 minutes. He's the Michael Jordan of fictional comic idiots and I'm not confident this level of dominance will ever be seen in a movie again.                  

Most Inexplicable, Soul-Crushing Letdown: Zoolander 2 (2016):
Zoolander 2 should've been great. Ben Stiller seemed very passionate about making a sequel every time he was asked about it publicly and when it finally got greenlit, all of the key players (Owen Wilson, Ferrell, Jerry Stiller, Mila Jovovich, Justin Theroux, Christine Taylor) from the brilliant original agreed to return alongside some very some impressive new additions (Penelope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Kyle Mooney, Fred Armisen). Very little of that promise actually translated to the finished product. The combination of a script that lacks much of its predecessors tongue-in-cheek wit and a cast that outside of Stiller and Wiig didn't bring their fastball results in a frustratingly erratic comedy that whiffs more than it hits.

Monday, June 22, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Cornerbacks

50.Jourdan Lewis (Cowboys)
49.Kevin Johnson (Browns)
48.Brandon Carr (Free Agent)
47.Xavier Rhodes (Colts)
46.Trae Waynes (Bengals)
45.Jamel Dean (Buccaneers)
44.William Jackson III (Bengals)
43.James Bradberry (Giants)
42.Bryce Callahan (Broncos)
41.Bradley Roby (Texans)
40.Jonathan Joseph (Titans)
39.Prince Amukamara (Raiders)
38.Malcolm Butler (Titans)
37.Mike Hilton (Steelers)
36.Carlton Davis (Buccaneers)
35.Charvarius Ward (Chiefs)
34.Jonathan Jones (Patriots)
33.K'Waun Williams (49ers)
32.Chidobe Awuzie (Cowboys)
31.Desmond Trufant (Lions)
30.Troy Hill (Rams)
29.D.J. Hayden (Jaguars)
28.Xavien Howard (Dolphins)
27.A.J. Bouye (Broncos)
26.Joe Haden (Steelers)
25.Janoris Jenkins (Saints)
24.Denzel Ward (Browns)
23.Kenny Moore (Colts)
22.Shaq Griffin (Seahawks)
21.Adoree' Jackson (Titans)
20.Jaire Alexander (Packers)
19.Nickell Robey-Coleman (Eagles)
18.Brian Poole (Jets)
17.Kyle Fuller (Bears)
16.Quinton Dunbar (Seahawks)
15.Jason McCourty (Patriots)
14.Desmond King (Chargers)
13.Marlon Humphrey (Ravens)
12.Darius Slay (Eagles)
11.Patrick Peterson (Cardinals)
10.Marshon Lattimore (Saints)
9.Jalen Ramsey (Rams)
8.Tre'Davious White (Bills)
7.Steven Nelson (Steelers)
6.Chris Harris Jr. (Chargers)
5.Byron Jones (Dolphins)
4.Marcus Peters (Ravens)
3.Richard Sherman (49ers)
2.Casey Hayward (Chargers)
1.Stephon Gilmore (Patriots)

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2018

Honorable Mentions: Destination Wedding, The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Red Sparrow 

Mid90s:
Watching Mid90s was a surreal trip because its characters and the situations they were put into reminded me a lot of my own experiences as a teenager. It captures the loving ballbusting, reckless decisionmaking and raw heart-to-heart conversations that defines the adolescent male experience with staggering realism. Providing such a level of heartfelt authenticity to a scrappy story made Jonah Hill's directorial debut every bit as impressive as the more widely celebrated inaugural efforts from other actor-turned-filmmakers including Jordan Peele, Greta Gerwig and Bradley Cooper that were released during the same nearly 2 year period.
   

The Night Comes for Us: Indonesia became known as an international martial arts powerhouse after the release of The Raid series. The traditional Indonesia form of martial arts known as Pencak silat- which combines full body fighting with the use of weapons both traditional and improvised- provided the type of versatile backdrop that allowed for the creation of a pair of widely-acclaimed martial arts flicks that featured some of the most elaborate choreography and brutal enemy deaths the genre has ever seen. By bringing in many of the same unbelievably gifted silat masters (Joe Taslim, Iko Uwais, Julie Estelle, Zack Lee) and a horror director in Timo Tjahjanto that shared Gareth Evans' unfiltered sensibilities, The Night Comes for Us serves as a spiritual sequel that comes very close to matching the jaw-dropping highs of both Raid films. The pacing is relentless, the fight sequences are cleanly-edited, impeccably-choreographed spectacles and the gore is on the level of an extreme grindhouse splatter flick. For my money, it's one of the best martial films ever made and a call to the rest of the world's martial artists to get on the level of Indonesia.    

Overlord:
Its been 18 months since Overlord was released, and I'm still blown away by how smoothly it melded together the war and horror genres. Combining the real life terror of World War II with the supernatural threat of the Nazis turning people into bloodthirsty zombie-like creatures that are damn near impossible to kill makes for a uniquely visceral experience that is unbelievably intense, unsettling and entertaining throughout.

Thursday, June 18, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Inside Linebackers

25.David Mayo (Giants)
24.Kwon Alexander (49ers)
23.Fred Warner (49ers)
22.Vince Williams (Steelers)
21.Avery Williamson (Jets)
20.Josh Bynes (Bengals)
19.Blake Martinez (Giants)
18.Danny Trevathan (Bears)
17.Todd Davis (Broncos)
16.Nick Kwiatkoski (Raiders)
15.Joe Schobert (Jaguars)
14.A.J. Johnson (Broncos)
13.Jordan Hicks (Cardinals)
12.Zach Cunningham (Texans)
11.Jayon Brown (Titans)
10.Dont'a Hightower (Patriots)
9.Benardrick McKinney (Texans)
8.C.J. Mosley (Jets)
7.Cory Littleton (Raiders)
6.Jaylon Smith (Cowboys)
5.Deion Jones (Falcons)
4.Eric Kendricks (Vikings)
3.Demario Davis (Saints)
2.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)
1.Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

F. Gary Gray Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out releated acolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of veteran director F.Gary Gray. 

F. Gary Gray's Filmography Ranked:
9.Be Cool (F)
8.Men in Black: International (B-)
7.Set It Off (B-)
6.A Man Apart (B)
5.Law Abiding Citizen (B+)
4.The Italian Job (A)
3.The Fate of the Furious (A)
2.Straight Outta Compton (A)
1.Friday (A+)

Top Dog: Friday (1995)
Friday is what every hangout movie should aspire to be. It has an effortlessly loose, natural feel, the characters are the type of vibrant, fun people that you'd have a blast spending time with in real life and the laughs hardly ever stop. Really can't ask for anything more from a buddy comedy.  

Lowlight: Be Cool (2005)
The level of energy Gray brings behind the camera has helped establish a pretty high floor for his movies. Showbiz comedy Be Cool landed a few levels below that sturdy, reliable floor and caused the septic tank to explode all over the place. This film is one of the most lazy, distasteful and overwhelmingly pathetic attempts to make something that's considered humorous that I've ever watched. There are allergy medication commercials that are funnier than this and based on the largely phoned-in performances here (namely John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn), most of the actors involved seemed to realize this project was worthless during the filming process.

Most Underrated: The Fate of the Furious (2017)
All of the recent Fast and Furious movies are pretty close on the quality scale. However, The Fate of the Furious is considered to be the weakest from a consensus standpoint and I'm here to say that I strongly disagree with the assessment. In fact, I believe that the particularly playful action sequences, emergence of the incredible Hobbs/Shaw pairing and Charlize Theron's unapologetic, grade-A overacting as the villain Cipher makes it the best entry in the franchise aside from Fast Five. PUT SOME RESPECT ON THE CARS THAT ARE RAINING DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS AND DWAYNE JOHNSON RE-DIRECTING A TORPEDO THAT'S SLIDING ACROSS ICE WITH HIS FIST DAMN IT.

Most Overrated: Set It Off (1996)
Forced melodrama really does a number on the quality of the heist drama Set It Off.  Every time this story about four LA women (Jada Pinkett Smith, Queen Latifah, Kimberly Elise, Vivica A. Fox) working dead-end janitorial jobs who decide to start robbing banks to put an end to their long-running financial struggles starts to get really compelling, some kind of contrived plot development emerges and disrupts the flow of the film. Adding soap opera-esque narrative flourishes brings a layer of phoniness to a story that's otherwise aiming (and mostly succeeds) at providing a grimly realistic take on a popular subgenre, and subsequently makes this a frustrating missed opportunity that no amount of quality performances or well-crafted robbery sequences can save.

Biggest Missed Opportunity: Men in Black: International (2019)
A great buddy team at the center of the intergalactic action is a big reason why two of the first three Men in Black films worked so well and the reboot Men in Black: International gets that key ingredient right with the effortlessly charismatic duo of Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson. So how did Men in Black: International nail the pivotal lead pairing yet fail to replicate the success of Men in Black and Men in Black III? Well, that's on Gray, the writing duo of Art Marcum and Matt Holloway and reported behind-the-scenes tampering from producer Walter F. Parkes that included on-the-fly rewrites and final cut privileges. Gray's direction is uncharacteristically flat and the monotonous script establishes an oddly serious tone that actively suffocates the magic of the strong comic rapport between Hemsworth and Thompson that made the scenes they shared in Thor: Ragnarok so memorable. While it's not likely to ever happen following International's middling global box office performance, I'd be all for Hemsworth and Thompson getting another crack at starring in a Men in Black film that actually knew how to properly utilize their talents/chemistry.  

Finest Remake of a Film from the '60s That Absolutely Blew My Mind at Age 11: The Italian Job (2003)
Before I proceed, I'm just going to say that I watched The Italian Job a few years back and it held up beautifully. It's an absurdly entertaining movie with an amazing ensemble cast (Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton, Mos Def, Seth Green, Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland) and a closing heist/chase sequence that remains an all-timer. That being said, this shit just hit a little bit different when I was on the cusp of being a teenager. The Italian Job was one of the first times I had ever seen a real, adult-aimed action spectacle and it just hooked me right away. Everything from the various steps the characters took to plan the robbery to the unforeseen to the snarky way the characters interacted with one another to the unfolding of the actual action scenes was so exciting that I truly didn't want it to end. Guess that was just an early indication that this genre was something I was going to end up being alarmingly passionate about as a grown person.  

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2017

Honorable Mentions: Brigsby Bear, Ghost in the Shell, I Don't Feel At Home in this World Anymore

The Disaster Artist:
As a huge fan of The Room and the book its based on, I couldn't be more satisfied with how The Disaster Artist turned out. The long-delayed big screen adaptation of the behind-the-scenes making of Tommy Wiseau's cult classic combines a compelling underdog story about a naïve dreamer having all of his wishes come true after years of rejection with stunningly faithful recreations of the iconic scenes from Wiseau's masterpiece to make a hilarious yet moving piece of great art.

Ingrid Goes West: Is it reasonable to declare a movie that's only three years old ahead of its time? If so, Ingrid Goes West absolutely was. This still ever-so-timely examination of influencer culture is a scathing, impeccably-acted satirical dark comedy that demonstrates the appeal of the lifestyle before swiftly cutting through the hollowness of both the façade these people sell as their real lives on social media and the fleeting "fame" that's attached to it to reveal the deep misery that exists in between the staged glamorous posts.        

Molly's Game:
It somehow took acclaimed writer/showrunner Aaron Sorkin 25 years to secure his first directorial gig, but holy shit did he make the most of it with the superb Molly's Game. Aided by a fascinating real life story and knockout lead performance from Jessica Chastian as Olympic skier turned underground poker kingpin Molly Bloom, Sorkin was able to make an easy transition to the commander of the ship by crafting a wildly entertaining crime flick that boasted a huge supply of his signature electric energy and snappy dialogue.  

Monday, June 15, 2020

Movie Review: The King of Staten Island

Pete Davidson's opening act as a public figure has been lively to say the least. He's been a fixture on Saturday Night Live since 2014, generated tabloid headlines with everything from his love life to his struggles with mental health and pissed off some powerful people (the Catholic Church, Texas congressman Dan Crenshaw,) with his dark, take-no-prisoners sense of humor. Despite the level of attention he's commanded, do we really know who Davidson is? The semi-autobiographical The King of Staten Island aims to answer that by exploring how the childhood trauma of his father dying shaped him as a person.

The film's narrative imagines a world where Davidson didn't find comedy. His character Scott is a 24 year old unemployed stoner that uses the lasting emotional damage from the death of his father-who like his real life father was a firefighter who died on duty when he was a child-to justify his selfish behavior, fear of making deep emotional connections with others and willingness to quit doing something at the first sign of hardship. This approach to living is suddenly challenged when his mother (Marisa Tomei) starts dating an intense fireman (Bill Burr), whose presence threatens the comfortability of his long-standing family dynamic and forces him to deal with certain aspects of his father's death that he had previously internalized.

If that synopsis wasn't a clear enough indication, The King of Staten Island isn't the laugh-a-minute comedy audiences may have expected Davidson's first solo star vehicle to be. While there's plenty of terrific one-liners and a handful of extensive comedic bits that are pure gold, humor is more of a complement to rather than the driving force behind Scott's journey.  

At its core, The King of a Staten Island is a serious character study designed to be a creative, cathartic outlet for Davidson to detail the struggles that have defined his life. As pretentious or unappealing as they may sound, he knocks it out of the park. Through his tremendous performance and the impressively nuanced script that he co-wrote with director Judd Apatow and his lifelong friend Dave Sirius, he's able to allow the viewer to empathize with how the deep trauma of his father has affected his ability and willingness to get attached to people while also acknowledging that there are instances where he weaponizes that pain in an attempt to justify his shitty behavior towards others. His refusal to sugarcoat his battles or ignore the hurt he's caused others with his actions, even if some of the events aren't entirely true to his life-is what makes this movie so quietly powerful. Being open about your experiences is never easy or fun, but it's crucial in helping develop a deeper understanding of a person's plight and how they see the world. I feel like I know Davidson better than ever after watching him pour his heart out here and I've never liked or respected him more because of it.

While this is very much Davidson's show, Apatow's role in making The King of Staten Island such a powerful film can't be minimized. From laying out a narrative framework that dramatized Davidson's struggles without stripping them of their authentic emotional power to his subdued direction to assembling a magnificent supporting cast (Tomei, Burr, Bel Powley, Maude Apatow, Steve Buscemi, Ricky Velez) to portray the people that Scott has hurt the most and ultimately help him start to change his behavior for the better, Apatow went all out to tell Davidson's story in the most honest, rewarding way possible. Finding the heart in people and situations where they're least expected is Apatow's secret weapon as a director and that gift made him the perfect choice to bring this story to the screen.

Quite frankly, I didn't realize how much I loved The King of Staten Island until I sat down to write this. It's subdued poignancy took a few days to really sink in and now I'm really in awe of what the Davidson/Apatow/Sirius team was able to pull off here. Approaching the lasting mental/emotional impact that stems from experiencing childhood trauma in such a sincere, unfiltered fashion made this a deeply moving portrait of a flawed young man who is finally starting to come to terms with the loss of his father. Davidson gives a face to every person who feels like they're an outcast because they're having a hard time dealing with their pain and his willingness to showcase his insecurities is exactly why he's a relatable rising star that an entire generation has rallied around.
          
Grade: A-

Friday, June 12, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 35 Outside Linebackers

35.Bruce Irvin (Seahawks)
34.Thomas Davis (Redskins)
33.Cameron Wake (Free Agent)
32.Kyler Fackrell (Giants)
31.Kamalei Correa (Titans)
30.Myles Jack (Jaguars)
29.Jordan Jenkins (Jets)
28.Harold Landry (Titans)
27.Devon Kennard (Cardinals)
26.Lorenzo Carter (Giants)
25.Tyus Bowser (Ravens)
24.Emmanuel Ogbah (Dolphins)
23.Whitney Mercilus (Texans)
22.Leonard Floyd (Rams)
21.Robert Quinn (Bears)
20.Shaq Thompson (Panthers)
19.Matt Milano (Bills)
18.Bobby Okereke (Colts)
17.K.J. Wright (Seahawks)
16.Anthony Barr (Vikings)
15.Leighton Vander Esch (Cowboys)
14.Matthew Judon (Ravens)
13.Jamie Collins (Lions)
12.Bud Dupree (Steelers)
11.Jason Pierre-Paul (Buccaneers)
10.Preston Smith (Packers)
9.Shaq Barrett (Buccaneers)
8.Darius Leonard (Colts)
7.Kyle Van Noy (Dolphins)
6.Za'Darius Smith (Packers)
5.Dee Ford (49ers)
4.T.J. Watt (Steelers)
3.Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2.Von Miller (Broncos)
1.Khalil Mack (Bears)

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2016

Honorable Mentions: Don't Think Twice, Keanu, The Magnificent Seven

Green Room:
Calling Green Room a relentless thriller feels too mild. Jeremy Saulnier's brutally realistic shockfest delivers the type of unnerving, pulse-pounding suspense that puts knots the size of boulders into your stomach. Its claustrophobic setting (a backwoods Nazi club in rural Oregon) paired with its legitimately dangerous antagonists and bursts of gruesome violence creates an atmosphere of everpresent danger as the unsuspecting protagonists (the late Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat, Joe Cole, Callum Turner) fight for their lives that is both gripping and deeply horrifying. Any aspiring filmmaker that wants to learn how to create something that's full of dread and intensity on a microbudget needs to seek this out ASAP.

The Nice Guys: Throwback misfit buddy noir comedy The Nice Guys is easily one of the most fun movies that's come out in recent years. It's one of those movies that I can't possibly turn off if I stumble upon it on TV, which actually happened a few weeks ago on HBO, because it's just so god damn amusing and entertaining. Shane Black's script is full of clever, wildly entertaining twists, the dialogue is razor sharp and Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe are just a hilarious screwball duo that boast a rapport so strong that it borders on the absurd. Now if some producer would only step up and fund the sequel they intended to make before this failed to takeoff at the box office...

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stop Never Stopping:
The day where it doesn't take years for people to discover the genius of The Lonely Island's movies is going to be a great one. Popstar is slowly and steadily starting to developing a vocal following, but I still feel like it's vastly underrated overall. A parody of the music industry and the self-indulgent documentaries from prominent pop artists (Katy Perry, Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber x2) that were trendy in the late 2000's/early 2010's provides the trio with an ideal setting to utilize their subtly smart, gleefully absurd humor to mine non-stop laughs out of a subject that is a prime target for pointed jabs. The songs are the best The Lonely Island have ever written, the ensemble just crushes (particularly Andy Samberg as Conner4Real, Chris Redd as the Tyler, the Creator-inspired Hunter the Hungry and Tim Meadows as Conner's far too levelheaded musician turned manager) and like all great comedies, it manages to get even funnier upon each rewatch.

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Judd Apatow Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of director/writer/producer Judd Apatow-whose latest project "The King of Staten Island" hits on demand video services on Friday.  

Judd Apatow's Filmography Ranked:
5.Funny People (B)
4.This is 40 (B+)
3.Trainwreck (A)
2.Knocked Up (A+)
1.The 40 Year-Old Virgin (A+)

Top Dog: The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
No behind-the-scenes figure has been involved with more of my favorite comedies than Apatow. Even when narrowing the focus of his lengthy resume to just his feature length directorial efforts, the list of contributions he's made is remarkable. Trainwreck is a clever, standout romantic comedy that utilized Amy Schumer far better than any other project she's appeared in thus far in her acting career and Knocked Up remains one of the most well-rounded, wire-to-wire funny comedies I've ever seen. As terrific as those projects are, The 40-Year Old Virgin is a film that defines Apatow's brilliance better than any other. In this story of an electronic good store employee (Steve Carrell) who goes on a quest to end his virginity, he weaves together vulgar laughs, the warm camaraderie of friendship and sincere sweetness into a joyous package that hasn't lost an ounce of its power in the nearly 15 years since it was released.    

Lowlight: Funny People (2009)
There's a lot of elements of Funny People that work very well. Adam Sandler is terrific as a jaded asshole movie star who returns to his stand-up roots after being diagnosed with a rare type of leukemia, the buddy dynamic between Sandler and Seth Rogen-who portrays a struggling comedian who Sandler takes under his wing is very realistic and per usual, the supporting cast is full of hilarious scene-stealers (Jason Schwartzman, Jonah Hill, Aubrey Plaza, Aziz Ansari, RZA). The problem is that unlike most of Apatow's other projects, there's some real hiccups present here. Its gaudy 149-minute runtime just never feels necessary, particularly in the second half of the film where the narrative shifts from a miserable A-list comic actor trying to come to terms with his life in the wake of potential death and pass along his knowledge to someone else that's coming up in the business to him trying to win over his now-(unhappily) married former girlfriend (Leslie Mann) that he's still in love with. That romantic plot is just nowhere near as compelling, funny or poignantly introspective as the first half and it turns the film into the kind of imperfect quality roller coaster that Apatow had previously managed to avoid.
     

Most Overrated: None
A combination of a relatively small filmography, mixed critical or audience reception on every movie he's put out post-Knocked Up and the deep love I have for his first two projects prevents me from feeling any of Apatow's work is overrated.  

Most Underrated: This is 40 (2012)
The semi-sequel to Knocked Up may lack the narrative stakes or heart of its predecessor, but I don't think it deserves the reputation its earned as the worthless throwaway title in Apatow's directorial catalog. Checking back in with the side characters from Knocked Up (Rudd, Mann) as they navigate a crossroads in their lives and marriage made for a enjoyable low stakes comedy that mined a lot of laughs out of mundane everyday life/relationship problems.

Best Ensemble Cast: The 40 Year Old-Virgin (2005)
Before I explain why The 40 Year Old-Virgin is receiving this accolade, let's take a look at the unfairly stacked ensembles that led some of his other movies.

Knocked Up:
Seth Rogen
Katherine Heigl
Paul Rudd
Leslie Mann
Jay Baruchel
Jason Segel
Jonah Hill
Martin Starr
Charlene Yi
Harold Ramis
Kristen Wiig
Ken Jeong

Funny People:
Adam Sandler
Seth Rogen
Leslie Mann
Eric Bana
Jason Schwartzman
Jonah Hill
Aubrey Plaza
Aziz Ansari
RZA

Trainwreck:
Amy Schumer
Bill Hader
Brie Larson
LeBron James
Tilda Swinton
Vanessa Bayer
Colin Quinn
John Cena
Mike Birbiglia

Considering the amount of talent present, a strong argument could be made for any of those. However, the combination of pure talent and collective role-crushing done. Everybody from Steve Carrell as the awkward yet lovable protagonist to Catherine Keener as his love interest to his co-workers/best friends (Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Romany Malco) to the incredible bit players (Elizabeth Banks, Jane Lynch, Leslie Mann, Kat Dennings) are note-perfect and that level of universal excellence allows every note of Apatow's script to play out gracefully.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 35 Defensive Tackles

35.Ed Oliver (Bills)
34.Sheldon Rankins (Saints)
33.Poona Ford (Seahawks)
32.Andrew Billings (Browns)
31.Denico Autry (Colts)
30.Dontari Poe (Cowboys)
29.Taven Bryan (Jaguars)
28.Maurice Hurst (Raiders)
27.Danny Shelton (Lions)
26.Brandon Williams (Ravens)
25.Michael Pierce (Vikings)
24.Mike Pennel (Chiefs)
23.Steve McClendon (Jets)
22.Dalvin Tomlinson (Giants)
21.DaQuan Jones (Titans)
20.Eddie Goldman (Bears)
19.Lawrence Guy (Patriots)
18.Linval Joseph (Chargers)
17.Vita Vea (Buccaneers)
16.Damon Harrison (Free Agent)
15.Gerald McCoy (Cowboys)
14.Sheldon Richardson (Browns)
13.Shelby Harris (Broncos)
12.D.J. Reader (Bengals)
11.Javon Hargrave (Eagles)
10.Kawann Short (Panthers)
9.Arik Armstead (49ers)
8.Geno Atkins (Bengals)
7.Kenny Clark (Packers)
6.DeForest Buckner (Colts)
5.Akiem Hicks (Bears)
4.Grady Jarrett (Falcons)
3.Chris Jones (Chiefs)
2.Fletcher Cox (Eagles)
1.Aaron Donald (Rams)

Friday, June 5, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2015

Honorable Mentions: Concussion, Match, Sleeping with Other People

Dope: Netflix really helped elevate Dope's profile a few years back after a lackluster theatrical run, but I still don't think it gets the amount of credit it deserves. Thanks to the clever, confident vision of writer/director Rick Famuyiwa  and a strong group of actors (Shameik Moore, Tony Revolori, Kiersey Clemons, Zoe Kravitz, Blake Anderson, Chanel Iman, A$AP Rocky, Roger Guenveur Smith) that all nail their respective roles, Dope succeeds as both a hilarious coming-of-age story and poignant drama that tackles the overlooked issue of the prejudiced systemic biases that are placed upon students from black communities while applying for colleges that prevent them from getting the same opportunities as their white counterparts.  

The Night Before: How many great comedies are also great holiday movies? It's basically just Bad Santa and this slept-on gem-which doesn't have the cult following of that wonderfully depraved, hilarious film from 2003. Combining the vulgar stoner humor and natural buddy rapport (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen and Anthony Mackie play lifelong best friends who celebrate every Christmas Eve together for a very personal reason) that drives all of Rogen's best work with an overwhelmingly genuine warmth makes this a beautiful seasonal triumph.

Steve Jobs: The theatrical style of Steve Jobs has made it one of the more polarizing biopics of the past several years. Personally, I believe that narrative framing device is a huge reason why it's such a strong film. Choosing to tell Jobs' story through three of his product launch days provides an underlying intensity to the events that probably wouldn't have existed if they had been told in a more conventional way while also providing a raw forum to explore both the persistence, creative/marketing genius and slew of personal shortcomings (egomaniacal behavior, control problems, failure to properly acknowledge his daughter during the early years of her life) that defined him as a person.  

Thursday, June 4, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 35 Defensive Ends

35.Maxx Crosby (Raiders)
34.Derek Wolfe (Ravens)
33.Josh Allen (Jaguars)
32.William Gholston (Buccaneers)
31.John Simon (Patriots)
30.Ryan Kerrigan (Redskins)
29.Shaq Lawson (Dolphins)
28.Dexter Lawrence (Giants)
27.Michael Brockers (Rams)
26.Stephon Tuitt (Steelers)
25.Marcus Davenport (Saints)
24.Frank Clark (Chiefs)
23.Ndamukong Suh (Buccaneers)
22.Everson Griffen (Free Agent)
21.Leonard Williams (Giants)
20.Dante Fowler Jr. (Falcons)
19.Yannick Ngakoue (Jaguars)
18.Melvin Ingram (Chargers)
17.Nick Bosa (49ers)
16.Jerry Hughes (Bills)
15.Jurrell Casey (Broncos)
14.Jadeveon Clowney (Free Agent)
13.Olivier Vernon (Browns)
12.Carlos Dunlap (Bengals)
11.Justin Houston (Colts)
10.Myles Garrett (Browns)
9.Trey Flowers (Lions)
8.Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
7.Cameron Heyward (Steelers)
6.DeMarcus Lawrence (Cowboys)
5.Joey Bosa (Chargers)
4.J.J. Watt (Texans)
3.Brandon Graham (Eagles)
2.Calias Campbell (Ravens)
1.Cameron Jordan (Saints)

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Blumhouse Productions Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director from worst to best. This week, I'm profiling the work of horror/thriller giant Blumhouse Productions. 

(NOTE: Dramatic titles including BlacKkKlansman, Whiplash, In a Valley of Violence and Lowriders have been excluded).

Blumhouse Productions' Filmography Ranked:
28.Paranormal Activity (D)
27.The Boy Next Door (D+)
26.Fantasy Island (C-)
25.Oculus (C-)
24.Glass (C-)
23.Insidious (C-)
22.Split (C-)
21.Paranormal Activity 3 (C)
20.Black Christmas (C+)
19.Unfriended: Dark Web (C+)
18.Sleight (C+)
17.The Purge (C+)
16.The Green Inferno (B-)
15.The Visit (B-)
14.The Gift (B)
13.The Belko Experiment (B)
12.Happy Death Day 2U (B)
11.The Hunt (B)
10.Ma (B)
9.The Purge: Anarchy (B)
8.Sinister (B+)
7.Happy Death Day (B+)
6.Halloween (B+)
5.The Purge: Election Year (A-)
4.The First Purge (A-)
3.Upgrade (A-)
2.The Invisible Man (A)
1.Get Out (A)

Top Dog: Get Out (2017)
Jordan Peele's incendiary debut is an exceptional piece of satire that takes aim at the covert racism deployed by many white liberals and how black people's gifts are valued far more than their rights. Art can play an essential role in changing the attitudes of people and by putting forth a movie that entertains, frightens and delivers jokes while exploring very serious real life themes, Peele inspired a dialogue about deep-rooted problems that may not have otherwise been so widely discussed.  

Lowlight: Paranormal Activity (2009)
The influence of Paranormal Activity is undeniable. It sparked a new wave of microbudgeted horror films, proved unknown actors could lead successful original projects and marked the turning point for Jason Blum that eventually led to him becoming one of the most prolific producers in Hollywood. However, the quality of the film doesn't match the impact it made on the business and the career trajectory of its producer. Its a downright sloppy movie with annoying characters, terrible acting and poor direction that fails to make good use of its unseen minimalist terrors.

Most Underrated: Sinister (2012)
When horror movies put a sizable amount of effort into crafting a satisfying story to put alongside the scares, the results tend to be pretty favorable. Here, writer/director Scott Derrickson (Doctor Strange, The Exorcism of Emily Rose) achieves that by exploring the deep mythology of its villain- a Pagan deity named Baghuul that possesses children into murdering the rest of their families on film before consuming their souls- through a mystery narrative that is headed up by the family (Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Clare Foley, Michael Hall D'Addrio) that appears to be in line to become his next victims. That deep plotting makes it easy to get very invested in the characters as the threat of Baghuul becomes more apparent and the mystery angle adds another layer of suspense to this already very effective supernatural horror exercise that further intensifies Derrickson's slow build approach to delivering tension/jump scares

Most Overrated: Insidious (2013)
Not knowing how to close out a story is a problem that I believe is more prevalent with horror movies than any other genre. James Wan's Insidious took this problem to the extreme by not only fucking up the ending, but the entire final act. After an eerie opening 2/3 dominated by Wan's mastery of building creepy atmosphere, the film suddenly goes completely off-the-rails by shifting into sort of a demon funhouse ride with unintentionally hilarious jump scares and truly insane plot developments galore. How this monumental, film-ruining late game collapse came to be remains a head-scratching mystery-especially when you look at what Wan and writer Leigh Whannell have gone onto do in recent years, but it's an important reminder of the degree of damage a terrible conclusion can do to the overall quality of a movie.

Best Remake: The Invisible Man (2020)
This is one of the exceptional projects that I just mentioned Whannell went onto make post-Insidious. Anchored by a chillingly great performance from Elisabeth Moss, his third directorial effort is a horrifying examination of the unrelenting terror brought on by being involved in an abusive relationship and how the unease doesn't stop once a person gets out of it. This film does a remarkable job of exploring the lengths an abuser will go to the destroy the credibility of the person they're abusing, the crippling fear that their abuser will find a way to continue to harm them and the catharsis that eventually comes from being liberated from this vicious cycle of emotional and psychological torture. Everyone from Whannell and Moss down to the composers and visual effects artists deserves a hearty round of applause for putting together such a powerful, impeccably-crafted film.

Worst Remake: Fantasy Island (2020)
Just two weeks before The Invisible Man was released, Blumhouse backed another reimagining of a vintage property that wasn't quite as successful. Applying horror elements to Fantasy Island is actually a pretty good idea in theory, the problem is that the writing and attempts to generate scares are so inept that whatever potential it had never even comes close to being fully realized.

Least Frustrating M. Night Shyamalan Project: The Visit (2015)
Speaking of squandering potential, let's talk about M. Night Shyamalan-who is a god damn trailblazer in that department. From the water dumping/baseball bat swinging finale of Signs to whatever convoluted shadow organization got exposed at the end of Glass, dropping the ball with stupid, infuriating dumb late game plot twists and/or bizarre detours are a focal point of the Shyamalan brand. While not without its issues (particularly with the pacing), Shyamalan's Blumhouse debut The Visit was refreshingly light on the aggravation he tends to deliver. In fact, it was actually a pretty decent movie! It was well-acted, there's a handful of super creepy/tense scenes and *gasp* the twist was legimately clever. Even a moderately successful movie feels like a miracle from post-Unbreakable M.Night, so I'll continue to treat it as such until he puts out another project that isn't a tragic waste of potential. 

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Centers

20.Ted Karras (Dolphins)
19.Nick Martin (Texans)
18.Matt Skura (Ravens)
17.Frank Ragnow (Lions)
16.Chase Roullier (Redskins)
15.Mitch Morse (Bills)
14.Connor McGovern (Jets)
13.Cody Whitehair (Bears)
12.Erik McCoy (Saints)
11.Ryan Jensen (Buccaneers)
10.Matt Paradis (Panthers)
9.Ryan Kelly (Colts)
8.David Andrews (Patriots)
7.Corey Linsley (Packers)
6.J.C. Tretter (Browns)
5.Ben Jones (Titans)
4.Brandon Linder (Jaguars)
3.Alex Mack (Falcons)
2.Rodney Hudson (Raiders)
1.Jason Kelce (Eagles)

Monday, June 1, 2020

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2014

Honorable Mentions: Dom Hemingway, Kill the Messenger, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Edge of Tomorrow (aka Live. Die. Repeat.): Doug Liman's adaptation of the Japanese graphic novel All You Need is Kill about a cowardly military media relations officer (Tom Cruise) who gets forced to fight on the frontlines of a war against a lethal alien race known as Mimics who gets caught in a time loop reliving the same day after killing their leader is arguably the most quietly influential blockbuster of the past decade. Its moderate financial/critical success led to a resurgence of films using plots revolving around time loops and Emily Blunt's role as the tough, decorated solider who has teach to Cruise's character to become an unselfish hero marked the start of a shift in how female characters are portrayed in these types of movies. It also doesn't hurt that the film happens to be a funny, action-packed and just plain exhilarating spectacle that reinforces why the particularly brand of joy that a well-executed piece of escapism delivers is so special.

The Skeleton Twins: Another year, another slept-on Sundance acquisition. Not only did The Skeleton Twins feature a pair of fearlessly powerful performances from Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig that showed that they're much more than just standout Saturday Night Live alums, it examines subjects like childhood trauma, mental illness and how the powerful, honesty-driven bond between siblings  can help navigate through life's toughest situations in a really beautiful, profound way that you don't see very often in dramedies of any production size or narrative style.  

Top Five: Looking at Chris Rock's filmography through the early 2010's, it was fair to question whether or not he was better off just sticking to stand-up. Even in his better big screen projects (Death at a Funeral, Pootie Tang, Head of State), the sharp wit and incendiary delivery that has made one of the most strongest comedic forces to ever step foot on a stage rarely ever shined through. After 20+ years of acting, the full extent of Rock's comedic talent finally made its way to his movies with Top Five. By making his third directorial effort a semi-autobiographical story about a comedian turned actor whose confidence is wavering after getting sober, starring in a string of unsuccessful projects and entering a highly public relationship with a famous reality TV star to try to remain relevant, a visibly revitalized Rock was able to seamlessly bring the sincere, intelligent, honest and deeply hilarious observations that have defined his career on stage to the screen for the very first time. Here's to hoping that his upcoming work, which includes appearances in Robert Zemeicks' remake of The Witches, Saw reboot Spiral and the fourth season of FX's anthology series Fargo continues to be as heartfelt and brilliant as this.