Blumhouse Productions Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director from worst to best. This week, I'm profiling the work of horror/thriller giant Blumhouse Productions. 

(NOTE: Dramatic titles including BlacKkKlansman, Whiplash, In a Valley of Violence and Lowriders have been excluded).

Blumhouse Productions' Filmography Ranked:
28.Paranormal Activity (D)
27.The Boy Next Door (D+)
26.Fantasy Island (C-)
25.Oculus (C-)
24.Glass (C-)
23.Insidious (C-)
22.Split (C-)
21.Paranormal Activity 3 (C)
20.Black Christmas (C+)
19.Unfriended: Dark Web (C+)
18.Sleight (C+)
17.The Purge (C+)
16.The Green Inferno (B-)
15.The Visit (B-)
14.The Gift (B)
13.The Belko Experiment (B)
12.Happy Death Day 2U (B)
11.The Hunt (B)
10.Ma (B)
9.The Purge: Anarchy (B)
8.Sinister (B+)
7.Happy Death Day (B+)
6.Halloween (B+)
5.The Purge: Election Year (A-)
4.The First Purge (A-)
3.Upgrade (A-)
2.The Invisible Man (A)
1.Get Out (A)

Top Dog: Get Out (2017)
Jordan Peele's incendiary debut is an exceptional piece of satire that takes aim at the covert racism deployed by many white liberals and how black people's gifts are valued far more than their rights. Art can play an essential role in changing the attitudes of people and by putting forth a movie that entertains, frightens and delivers jokes while exploring very serious real life themes, Peele inspired a dialogue about deep-rooted problems that may not have otherwise been so widely discussed.  

Lowlight: Paranormal Activity (2009)
The influence of Paranormal Activity is undeniable. It sparked a new wave of microbudgeted horror films, proved unknown actors could lead successful original projects and marked the turning point for Jason Blum that eventually led to him becoming one of the most prolific producers in Hollywood. However, the quality of the film doesn't match the impact it made on the business and the career trajectory of its producer. Its a downright sloppy movie with annoying characters, terrible acting and poor direction that fails to make good use of its unseen minimalist terrors.

Most Underrated: Sinister (2012)
When horror movies put a sizable amount of effort into crafting a satisfying story to put alongside the scares, the results tend to be pretty favorable. Here, writer/director Scott Derrickson (Doctor Strange, The Exorcism of Emily Rose) achieves that by exploring the deep mythology of its villain- a Pagan deity named Baghuul that possesses children into murdering the rest of their families on film before consuming their souls- through a mystery narrative that is headed up by the family (Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Clare Foley, Michael Hall D'Addrio) that appears to be in line to become his next victims. That deep plotting makes it easy to get very invested in the characters as the threat of Baghuul becomes more apparent and the mystery angle adds another layer of suspense to this already very effective supernatural horror exercise that further intensifies Derrickson's slow build approach to delivering tension/jump scares

Most Overrated: Insidious (2013)
Not knowing how to close out a story is a problem that I believe is more prevalent with horror movies than any other genre. James Wan's Insidious took this problem to the extreme by not only fucking up the ending, but the entire final act. After an eerie opening 2/3 dominated by Wan's mastery of building creepy atmosphere, the film suddenly goes completely off-the-rails by shifting into sort of a demon funhouse ride with unintentionally hilarious jump scares and truly insane plot developments galore. How this monumental, film-ruining late game collapse came to be remains a head-scratching mystery-especially when you look at what Wan and writer Leigh Whannell have gone onto do in recent years, but it's an important reminder of the degree of damage a terrible conclusion can do to the overall quality of a movie.

Best Remake: The Invisible Man (2020)
This is one of the exceptional projects that I just mentioned Whannell went onto make post-Insidious. Anchored by a chillingly great performance from Elisabeth Moss, his third directorial effort is a horrifying examination of the unrelenting terror brought on by being involved in an abusive relationship and how the unease doesn't stop once a person gets out of it. This film does a remarkable job of exploring the lengths an abuser will go to the destroy the credibility of the person they're abusing, the crippling fear that their abuser will find a way to continue to harm them and the catharsis that eventually comes from being liberated from this vicious cycle of emotional and psychological torture. Everyone from Whannell and Moss down to the composers and visual effects artists deserves a hearty round of applause for putting together such a powerful, impeccably-crafted film.

Worst Remake: Fantasy Island (2020)
Just two weeks before The Invisible Man was released, Blumhouse backed another reimagining of a vintage property that wasn't quite as successful. Applying horror elements to Fantasy Island is actually a pretty good idea in theory, the problem is that the writing and attempts to generate scares are so inept that whatever potential it had never even comes close to being fully realized.

Least Frustrating M. Night Shyamalan Project: The Visit (2015)
Speaking of squandering potential, let's talk about M. Night Shyamalan-who is a god damn trailblazer in that department. From the water dumping/baseball bat swinging finale of Signs to whatever convoluted shadow organization got exposed at the end of Glass, dropping the ball with stupid, infuriating dumb late game plot twists and/or bizarre detours are a focal point of the Shyamalan brand. While not without its issues (particularly with the pacing), Shyamalan's Blumhouse debut The Visit was refreshingly light on the aggravation he tends to deliver. In fact, it was actually a pretty decent movie! It was well-acted, there's a handful of super creepy/tense scenes and *gasp* the twist was legimately clever. Even a moderately successful movie feels like a miracle from post-Unbreakable M.Night, so I'll continue to treat it as such until he puts out another project that isn't a tragic waste of potential.