Thursday, May 30, 2024

Movie Review: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

 

Among other things, Mad Max: Fury Road became notable for being the first entry of George Miller's Australian dystopian action franchise to feature a new hero alongside the titular character played by Mel Gibson in the original trilogy and Tom Hardy in Fury Road. This new cleanser of evil in the Wasteland is named Furiosa (Charlize Theron)-an elite driver with a mechanical arm and buzzcut who is intent on liberating the people from the tyrannical reign of her employer Immortan Joe (the late Hugh Keays-Byrne). Courtesy of Theron's excellent performance and all of the acclaim Fury Road received, Furiosa became an instant fan favorite character. Given all of the love directed her way, Miller decided to make his next trip to the Mad Max universe an exploration of how Furiosa became the badass revolutionary the world met in Fury Road with an epic origin story entitled Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Miller takes the viewer back damn near to the beginning of everything in the opening sequence where a young Furiosa (Alyla Browne) is abducted near her home "the Green Place"-which is one of the few remaining places where agriculture and water can thrive in this barren world-by the underlings of a sadistic biker gang leader named Dementus (Chris Hemsworth). Dementus eventually kills Furiosa's mother (Charlee Fraser) and trades her off to the warlord Immortan Joe in exchange for control of Gastown and a weekly increase in supplies. As she grows older, Furiosa (Anya Taylor-Joy) escapes the clutches of Immortan Joe's stable of wives by disguising herself as a mute boy and becomes a skilled driver/mechanic while working on his war rigs. Her increased precision behind the wheel and responsibility on the team under the tutelage of Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke) sends her on a collision course with the increasingly power-hungry Dementus-which presents her with the golden opportunity to enact revenge for her mother's death and do the one thing she wants more than anything to world: the chance to go home.

Tracing Furiosa's path to becoming a hardened revolutionary back to its tragic beginning does a lot to explain the motivations of the character we saw in Fury Road. While this is helpful for people who wanted further context as to why Furiosa was so committed to overthrowing Immortan Joe's oppressive regime in the previous film, it also exposes the limits of Miller's fast-and-loose approach to mythmaking in the Mad Max universe. Look, it's great to have a franchise where the continuity is flexible, and knowledge of decades worth of lore isn't a requirement to understand or enjoy the film. The problem here is that the drawbacks of employing such a laid-back approach can be regularly felt when the narrative comes into focus. 

The inevitable tie-in's to Fury Road are often baffling thanks to the stern, quietly evil version of Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme) that appears here feeling like a completely different character than the cartoonishly over-the-top dictator that Keays-Byrne portrayed him as and a timeline that feels considerably earlier than that film even in its later stages until the final moments which directly set up its plot. 

The confused nature of Furiosa doesn't stop at the Fury Road callbacks. Structurally, the story feels more like a rough outline than a final draft. Miller has a clear emotional hook in its harrowing opening sequence where Furiosa is taken from home and watches her mother get killed right in front of her and an epic final confrontation between Furiosa and Dementus where every ounce of repressed rage and catharsis that you want in a revenge story comes pouring out in incendiary fashion. Nearly everything between these fully realized bookends (especially after Furiosa ends up in the hands of Immortan Joe) is a hodgepodge of loosely connected skits that are so poorly developed and bad at conveying elapsed time that they often feel completely random. Ultimately, Furiosa becomes the woman that we know her to be, but I'm not sure that hinting at this allegedly transformative mentor/vaguely romantic relationship she had with a war rig driver (Burke) in a few scenes and showing how she got her arm ripped off conveys anything important about her journey from scared, grieving young girl torn from her home by warlords to the woman who put her life on the line for the chance to liberate so many other kids from suffering the same fate as her.

There is, however, a great time-tested antidote to choppy storytelling that Furiosa makes liberal use of: great action and acting. Miller puts together a considerably more dynamic collection of setpieces than the "drive big trucks with flaming guitar players attached to them in a straight line for 2 hours shit that occupied Fury Road with more shootouts and elaborate stuntwork accompanying the series signature vehicle chase sequences, Hemsworth's depraved carnival barker act as the aspiring dictator Dementus operates in the weirdo character actor register that is probably the most interesting, underutilized skill in his performing arsenal and unlike whatever the hell was going on with the sedated, serious version of Immortan Joe, Taylor-Joy's quietly fierce performance channels the same energy that Theron brought to the character. Furiosa only lives up to its potential as a hard-boiled desert revenge tale when its laser focused on Furiosa's quest to kill Dementus and displaying the thirst these sadistic men to control the dwindling assets of a dying world along with the violence that comes with it, so kudos to Miller for cooking up the most elaborate setpieces he's ever made at nearly 80 years old and Hemsworth and Taylor-Joy for giving the film exact juxtaposition of conflicting emotions it needed for its basic revenge narrative to work.

Furiosa is neither an essential nor disastrous continuation of the Mad Max series. Although a frustratingly uneven picture on the whole, it really sings when it works, and the big action moments popped in Dolby like few films do. With it looking very likely that this will be Miller's final ride in the Wasteland, he should take a tremendous amount of pride in the odd behemoth of a post-apocalyptic world that he was able to build over the past 45 years and that he was able to avoid the doomed fates of so many other iconic franchises by stretching it out to the point where it ultimately ended on a sour note. There is only 1 Mad Max and film history will never forget that.                                        

Grade: B

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Centers

()=2023 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023

20.(17) Bradley Bozeman (Chargers) 

19.(18) Jake Brendel (49ers)

18.(+) Hjalte Froholdt (Cardinals)

17.(13) Garrett Bradbury (Vikings)

16.(+) Coleman Shelton (Bears)

15.(+) Mitch Morse (Jaguars)

14.(20) Ted Karras (Bengals)

13.(+) Aaron Brewer (Dolphins)

12.(+) Lloyd Cushenberry III (Titans)

11.(+) Tyler Biadasz (Commanders)

10.(+) Andre James (Raiders)

9.(9) Ethan Pocic (Browns)

8.(5) Connor Williams (Free Agent)

7.(6) David Andrews (Patriots)

6.(+) Erik McCoy (Saints)

5.(16) Ryan Kelly (Colts)

4.(15) Drew Dalman (Falcons)

3.(8) Tyler Linderbaum (Ravens)

2.(1) Creed Humphrey (Chiefs)

1.(3) Frank Ragnow (Lions)

Tuesday, May 28, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Guards

()=2023 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023 

30.(+) Dylan Parham (Raiders)

29.(+) Sidy Sow (Patriots)

28.(26) Alijah Vera-Tucker (Jets)

27.(+) Ben Powers (Broncos)

26.(+) Daniel Brunskill (Titans)

25.(+) Jon Feliciano (49ers)

24.(12) Ezra Cleveland (Jaguars)

23.(17) James Daniels (Steelers)

22.(27) Will Hernandez (Cardinals)

21.(16) Alex Cappa (Bengals)

20.(23) Landon Dickerson (Eagles)

19.(10) Elgton Jenkins (Packers)

18.(25) Teven Jenkins (Bears)

17.(+) Graham Glasgow (Lions)

16.(+) Sam Cosmi (Commanders)

15.(8) Shaq Mason (Texans)

14.(20) Brandon Scherff (Jaguars)

13.(13) Trey Smith (Chiefs)

12.(18) Quinn Meinerz (Broncos)

11.(14) Robert Hunt (Panthers)

10.(29) Tyler Smith (Cowboys)

9.(7) Kevin Zeitler (Lions)

8.(11) Issac Seumalo (Steelers)

7.(+) Kevin Dotson (Rams)

6.(9) Wyatt Teller (Browns)

5.(6) Quenton Nelson (Colts)

4.(4) Zack Martin (Cowboys)

3.(1) Joel Bitonio (Browns)

2.(3) Joe Thuney (Chiefs)

1.(2) Chris Lindstrom (Falcons)

Monday, May 27, 2024

Quick Movie Reviews: I Saw the TV Glow, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Babes

I Saw the TV Glow: A hypnotic, surreal meditation on identity, growing up feeling isolated in the suburbs, the power that loving a piece of entertainment can have over someone's life and probably at least a dozen or so other things that I didn't pick up on, I Saw the TV Glow is one of the most singular works of art I've seen in quite some time. Jane Schoenbrun's life experience and immense gifts as a visual storyteller help create this really rich, terrifying world where two friends (Justice Smith, Brigette Lundy-Paine) bonded by being outsiders from broken homes in a small town and their shared love of a teen horror television show called The Pink Opaque and the radically different directions their lives head in after the show is suddenly cancelled. Schoenbrun came out as a trans woman as an adult and the two characters here seem to represent who they became (Lundy-Paine) and who they would've been if they had continued to deny their identity (Smith). One of these people overcomes their fears and eventually finds happiness once they leave behind the horrors of the early chapters of their life for good while the other remains trapped living a suffocating, miserable existence with no relief in sight. Addressing such a heavy topic through a horror-y movie (personally, I think it's more of a psychological drama with some horror imagery/feelings mixed in) is a genius move that is made even smarter by just how powerfully the evil and beautiful imagery conveys each character's journey. As a cis individual, there's definitely things that went over my head that prevented the entire narrative from clicking with me and there were a few cameos that shall remain nameless here that completely took me out of the movie at points. Regardless, this film is beautifully made and illuminating as to what it feels like to live in fear of living as your true self as well as the liberation that comes with having the courage to finally embrace who you really are.       

Grade: B+

The Strangers: Chapter 1: Maybe it's because I hadn't seen a Strangers film in 16 years or maybe it's just a case of Breaking In lowering the bar for the home invasion genre to the point where just about any other movie is good by comparison, but I found The Strangers: Chapter 1 to be a totally fine watch. Veteran journeyman director Renny Harlin took advantage of his unexpected call-up from the minor leagues of VOD action/horror movies that he was banished to about 15 years ago and shows off the sturdy craftsmanship that kept him steadily employed by studios from the late 80's through the late 00's with his solid no frills construction of the slowly escalating series of creepy encounters a young couple (Madelaine Petsch, Froy Gutierrez) face when they're forced to stay the night in a desolate Oregon town after their car breaks down on the way to Portland that culminates in them being terrorized in their AirBnb by a trio of masked intruders. The big cat-and-mouse setpieces are pretty suspenseful, the eerie voyeuristic cinematography and crunchy sound design helps heighten the level of threat the protagonists are facing by these masked assailants that take pleasure in toying with their prey, and the movie makes good use of its 91-minute runtime by moving with a consistent urgency and not putting anything on the screen that doesn't need to be there. I'll be honest, I have no fucking clue how they're going to stretch this story out for two more movies following the ending of this installment but given how Harlin fared here and the strong likelihood that the abundance of similarities to the 2008 original will start to rapidly dissipate as it progresses, I'm curious to see how the sequels pan out.      

Grade: B-

Babes: 2024's first great comedy has arrived. Star/co-writer Ilana Glazer is back in her Broad City sweet spot as a 30-something yoga instructor who gets pregnant after having a one-night stand with a struggling actor (Stephan James) and after she decides to keep the child, turns to her best friend (Michelle Buteau)-who just gave birth to her 2nd child-to help her through this scary journey of being a first time parent with no other support system. Babes is a really honest exploration on the harsh duality of parenting (loving/hating your kids, wanting to get away from them when your with them/wanting to go home and see them when your away, etc) and how becoming a parent evolves the dynamic of a friendship that also happens to feature some of the funniest, raunchiest scenes to appear in any recent R-rated comedy. Pamela Adlon-making her feature directorial debut here-knows exactly when the movie needs to be funny, serious or sweet without ever making it feel completely removed from how real people would react in these situations, Glazer and Buteau make for an incredible, natural pairing as the longtime best friends who eventually grow to accept and embrace how their relationship has changed as adults and its usage of underrated character actors John Carroll Lynch and Oliver Platt in key supporting roles is elite. Try and seek this one out if it's playing in your area (it's only playing in 575 or theaters right now, but Neon may expand in the coming weeks), especially if you're a parent who wants to see a comedy made by people who clearly understands the grind of having young kids.       

Grade: B+ 

Thursday, May 23, 2024

Sterling K. Brown Ranked

 Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Sterling K. Brown-whose latest project "Atlas" arrives on Netflix tomorrow. 

Sterling K. Brown's Filmography Ranked:

11.Righteous Kill (C)

10.The Rhythm Section (B-)

9.Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (B-)

8.Waves (B-)

7.Our Idiot Brother (B)

6.Marshall (B)

5.American Fiction (B)

4.Hotel Artemis (B)

3.The Predator (B)

2.Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul (B+)

1.Black Panther (A)

Top Dog: Black Panther (2018)

Hating on Black Panther has become an increasingly popular activity-which admittedly makes sense since it's the only Marvel movie to be nominated for Best Picture and got hyped up as an instant superhero movie classic before it was even officially released. I however remain a huge fan of what Ryan Coogler pulled off here. Given the incredible luxury of not having to do a full-blown origin story after T'Challa/Black Panther (the late Chadwick Boseman) debuted in Captain America: Civil War, Coogler instead got to make a political epic about a man grappling with his sudden ascension to the throne following the murder of his father, the unexpected arrival of someone from his past (Michael B. Jordan-in an elite villain turn) who didn't get the luxury of growing up as the beloved son of the King challenging his right to the throne and whether to make his prosperous nation of Wakanda known to the world or continue living in the shadows like they always have. Further elevating all the compelling, emotional drama is a great collection of supporting characters headlined by Luptita Nyongo's Nakia, Winston Duke's M'Baku, Letita Wright's Suri and Danai Gurira's Okoye and an underrated collection of action sequences (particularly that big fight in the South Korean casino). 

Bottom Feeder: Righteous Kill (2008)

Righteous Kill being the first film in which Robert De Niro and Al Pacino shared significant screen time is a random fact that always me laugh. Truth be told: Neither of these acting titans should've been here-even at a juncture of their career where they were totally fine with just taking a paycheck-nor do they look particularly thrilled to be appearing in something that is so clearly beneath them. It aims to be the kind of silly, intermittently entertaining police procedural that TNT's weekend afternoon movie programming is built around, but it's not engaging enough to earn its prime basic cable rotation stripes and ended up being relegated to the desolate 2AM on HBO2 circuit. What a god damn shame for De Niro, Pacino and a generation of American middle-aged fathers who have to settle for half-watching Law Abiding Citizen in between recliner power naps for the 16th time instead.        

Most Underrated: Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul (2022)

While it's often guilty of settling for low hanging fruit instead of going for truly scathing satire about Christianity/megachurch culture, I still enjoyed the hell out of Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. Regina Hall is handed one of her most substantial roles in ages as the wife of a megachurch pastor (Brown) desperately trying to hold onto her glamorous life as their church attempts to reopen after being shuttered for a year following a scandal involving the pastor and absolutely knocks it out of park with a performance that is equally hilarious, diabolical and sympathetic. Brown is similarly great as the charismatic slimeball pastor who shares his wife's crippling fear of losing everything and overwhelming desperation to keep their empire alive, but refuses to admit that his actions are responsible for the precarious position they find themselves in. Without these incredible performances, Honk probably wouldn't been all that great of a movie. With them, it's a hidden gem that's well worth exploring.     

Most Overrated: Waves (2019)

As great as the final third of the film is when Taylor Russell and Brown's beautifully vulnerable performances are steering the ship, the remainder of Waves is a clunky mix of showy melodrama and quiet character study that significantly undermines the lovely drama about forgiveness and the power of finding human connection during dark times in life that it eventually becomes.  

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Tackles

 ()=2023 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023

Note: Due to the strong likelihood that's he going to be forced to retire due to injury, Ryan Ramcyzk was excluded from this list.

30.(+) Luke Goedeke (Buccaneers)

29.(+) Trent Brown (Bengals)

28.(+) Zach Tom (Packers)

27.(+) Bernhard Raimann (Colts)

26.(23) Mike McGlinchey (Broncos)

25.(17) Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)

24.(15) Orlando Brown Jr. (Bengals)

23.(9) Terron Armstead (Dolphins)

22.(27) Braden Smith (Colts)

21.(+) Mike Onwenu (Patriots)

20.(20) Taylor Moton (Panthers)

19.(21) Kaleb McGary (Falcons)

18.(25) Morgan Moses (Jets)

17.(22) Dion Dawkins (Bills)

16.(10) Jake Matthews (Falcons)

15.(18) Garett Bolles (Broncos)

14.(7) Brian O'Neill (Vikings)

13.(26) Rob Havenstein (Rams)

12.(6) Laremy Tunsil (Texans)

11.(19) Rashawn Slater (Chargers)

10.(16) Taylor Decker (Lions)

9.(+) Tyron Smith (Jets)

8.(5) Andrew Thomas (Giants)

7.(14) Kolton Miller (Raiders)

6.(13) Jordan Mailata (Eagles)

5.(4) Tristian Wirfs (Buccaneers)

4.(11) Christian Darrisaw (Vikings)

3.(12) Penei Sewell (Lions)

2.(2) Lane Johnson (Eagles)

1.(1) Trent Williams (49ers)

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Tight Ends

()=2023 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023 

20.(17) Noah Fant (Seahawks)

19.(+) Chigoziem Okonkwo (Titans)

18.(+) Isaiah Likely (Ravens)

17.(7) Pat Friermuth (Steelers)

16.(+) Tyler Conklin (Jets)

15.(+) Dalton Kincaid (Bills)

14.(16) Hunter Henry (Patriots)

13.(12) Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

12.(+) Trey McBride (Cardinals)

11.(+) Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

10.(14) Cole Kmet (Bears)

9.(8) David Njoku (Browns)

8.(10) Dalton Schultz (Texans)

7.(9) Evan Engram (Jaguars)

6.(+) Sam LaPorta (Lions)

5.(4) Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

4.(3) Mark Andrews (Ravens)

3.(5) T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

2.(1) Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

1.(2) George Kittle (49ers)

Monday, May 20, 2024

Movie Review: IF

 

When I walked into an early afternoon screening of John Krasinski's new family comedy IF on Saturday, I didn't anticipate that I was going to see a movie that I really needed to see at this moment of my life. As I've entered my 30's, I've become kind of alarmed at how stagnant my life has become.  Accepting the cruel, joyless nature of the world is something that I've long come to terms with, but the soul-sucking tedium of day-to-day existence is something that has really caught me off guard. While IF doesn't deliver some kind of delusional sermon about how life is actually great if you just smile and laugh through the malaise of it all, it does preach the importance of letting some light in whenever possible. It was comforting to watch a movie aimed at kids that didn't pretend everything was great while also trafficking in a pragmatic form of levelheaded positivity that feels pretty foreign in American media aimed not just at young people, but all ages.                  

Look, I'm not going to pretend that a lot of people are going to have the same kind of warm response to IF that I did. Kids could get thrown off by its slow pacing for the genre and adults might be unsatisfied with how the rules and worldbuilding of the imaginary friends are handled. The earnestness of its messages about not letting the cruelty of the world rob of your creativity or positive memories from the past just left me charmed and emotional in a way that few films do these days. It's extremely easy to forget or overlook creative pursuits or beautiful moments from the past that helped make who you are and IF exists to remind people of the importance of these things. Would've been more ideal if these ideas were packaged into a movie that was less rough around the edges? Sure, but they're impactful nonetheless and I commend Krasinski for taking a break from making great horror movies to put something so lovely out into the world. 

Grade: B+

Thursday, May 16, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Wide Receivers

()=2023 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023

50.(31) Odell Beckham Jr. (Dolphins)

49.(+) Khalil Shakir (Bills)

48.(+) Josh Downs (Colts)

47.(+) Christian Watson (Packers)

46.(+) Jordan Addison (Vikings)

45.(+) Jayden Reed (Packers)

44.(39) Marquise Brown (Chiefs)

43.(30) Jerry Jeudy (Browns)

42.(34) Gabe Davis (Jaguars)

41.(28) Brandin Cooks (Cowboys)

40.(32) Jakobi Meyers (Raiders)

39.(43) Adam Thielen (Panthers)

38.(+) Tank Dell (Texans)

37.(+) Zay Flowers (Ravens)

36.(19) Mike Williams (Jets)

35.(+) Rashee Rice (Chiefs)

34.(36) Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

33.(+) Calvin Ridley (Titans)

32.(35) Diontae Johnson (Panthers)

31.(41) Drake London (Falcons)

30.(24) Christian Kirk (Jaguars)

29.(18) Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)

28.(47) George Pickens (Steelers)

27.(11) Terry McLaurin (Commanders)

26.(17) Tee Higgins (Bengals)

25.(23) DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

24.(21) Amari Cooper (Browns)

23.(15) Deebo Samuel (49ers)

22.(12) Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)

21.(8) DeAndre Hopkins (Titans)

20.(14) D.K. Metcalf (Seahawks)

19.(+) Nico Collins (Texans)

18.(27) Garrett Wilson (Jets)

17.(25) Michael Pittman Jr. (Colts)

16.(4) Cooper Kupp (Rams)

15.(33) Chris Olave (Saints)

14.(5) Stefon Diggs (Texans)

13.(13) Keenan Allen (Bears)

12.(20) Mike Evans (Buccaneers)

11.(+) Puka Nacua (Rams)

10.(22) D.J. Moore (Bears)

9.(10) Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

8.(26) Brandon Aiyuk (49ers)

7.(2) Davante Adams (Raiders)

6.(16) Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions)

5.(7) Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

4.(6) A.J. Brown (Eagles)

3.(9) CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

2.(3) Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

1.(1) Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

John Krasinski Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of John Krasinski-whose latest project "IF" releases in theaters tomorrow. 

John Krasinski's Filmography Ranked:

19.Aloha (D-)

18.Something Borrowed (D)

17.Taxi (D+)

16.Monsters vs. Aliens (C-)

15.Leatherheads (C)

14.DC League of Super-Pets (B-)

13.The Holiday (B-)

12.The Hollars (B)

11.Monsters University (B)

10.For Your Consideration (B)

9.The Muppets (B)

8.Detroit (B)

7.Away We Go (B)

6.13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (B)

5.Smiley Face (B)

4.Jarhead (B) 

3.Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (B+)

2.A Quiet Place (B+)

1.A Quiet Place Part II (B+)

Top Dog: A Quiet Place Part II (2021)

Krasinski's directorial breakout A Quiet Place is an impressively crafted horror flick full of exceptional performances, ample suspense and immersive, exceptionally detailed sound design. Remarkably, Part II managed to be even better. The inevitable raising of the stakes/scale that comes with the sequel territory leads to an even higher level of tension present in the harrowing action setpieces, the sound mix remains an incredibly visceral, powerful tool that Krasinski harnesses fully to establish the unwavering feeling of terror that comes with living in a world where making any noise could get you killed and the emotional core of the story of two families finding solace in their shared grief makes for a powerful expansion of the themes of the first film.    

Bottom Feeder: Aloha (2015)

A star-studded debacle (Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Krasinski, Danny McBride, Bill Murray, Alec Baldwin) that is incoherent to the point that it's hard to tell what genre it's trying to be, let alone what story it's trying to tell, Aloha easily ranks among the top 75-100 worst movies I've ever seen. If Cameron Crowe's feature directorial career does end up coming to a close on this stunningly inept note, it'll likely go down as one of the most embarrassing final chapters that any accomplished veteran filmmaker has authored in the history of cinema.

Most Underrated: Smiley Face (2007)

Hollywood has repeatedly failed Anna Faris over the years and stumbling upon Smiley Face roughly 17 years after its release was a needed reminder of this ongoing artistic injustice. This shaggy stoner comedy from indie icon Gregg Araki effectively serves as an extended showcase for Faris' incredible comedic instincts and timing as her biblically stoned character gets into a string of mostly episodic misadventures around Los Angeles after she unknowingly eats a plate full of weed cupcakes while already stoned. Almost none of these bits would work without her ability to turn interactions that should be routine into surreal mayhem in a matter of a moments and lack of reservations about looking silly, dumb or weird for the sake of comedy.     

Most Overrated: None 

Krasinski's tendency to show up in comedy or action pictures that haven't gone onto become widely embraced paired with my deep enjoyment of the Quiet Place films is enough for him to avoid having a title appear here. 

One of the Two Polarizing Recent MCU Entries That I Will Defend Ad Naseum Whenever Prompted: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Is Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness an elite superhero movie? Not quite. The pacing is kind of all over the place as a result of its extensive reshoots and the script from Michael Waldron (Kevin Feige) would've benefited from another pass or two to tighten up all of the titular multiverse madness. Is it still a lot of fun? Hell yes. Sam Raimi got a surprising amount of leeway to incorporate crazy/campy horror elements into Doctor Strange's universe-hopping journey-which gives the film a really unique identity within the MCU, Benedict Cumberbatch turns in what just might me his most interesting turn as Stephen Strange to date as he's forced to do some soul-searching when he's directly confronted with several other versions of how his life could've turned out if he had followed a different path and Elizabeth Olsen does an incredible job of managing Wanda's heel turn and turns her into one of the most menacing, entertaining villains the MCU has ever produced.       

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Running Backs

()=2023 ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023 

50.(+) Ty Chandler (Vikings)

49.(+) Zach Charbonnet (Seahawks)

48.(+) Tyjae Spears (Titans)

47.(45) Antonio Gibson (Patriots)

46.(11) Miles Sanders (Panthers)

45.(43) Alexander Mattison (Raiders)

44.(+) Jaleel McLaughlin (Broncos)

43.(44) Kareem Hunt (Free Agent)

42.(+) Justice Hill (Ravens)

41.(42) Javonte Williams (Broncos)

40.(27) D'Onta Foreman (Browns)

39.(+) Keaton Mitchell (Ravens)

38.(13) Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)

37.(31) Khalil Herbert (Bears)

36.(21) Tyler Allgeier (Falcons)

35.(+) Jerome Ford (Browns)

34.(+) Zack Moss (Bengals)

33.(5) Austin Ekeler (Commanders)

32.(46) Rachaad White (Buccaneers)

31.(+) Jaylen Warren (Steelers)

30.(50) Chuba Hubbard (Panthers)

29.(18) AJ Dillon (Packers)

28.(39) Devin Singletary (Giants)

27.(+) Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

26.(30) Gus Edwards (Chargers)

25.(12) Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots)

24.(14) Alvin Kamara (Saints)

23.(34) D'Andre Swift (Bears)

22.(33) Brian Robinson Jr. (Commanders)

21.(+) Jahmyr Gibbs (Lions)

20.(+) De'Von Achane (Dolphins)

19.(15) Joe Mixon (Texans)

18.(20) Najee Harris (Steelers)

17.(32) Breece Hall (Jets)

16.(17) Travis Etienne Jr. (Jaguars)

15.(22) Isiah Pacheco (Chiefs)

14.(49) James Cook (Bills)

13.(6) Josh Jacobs (Packers)

12.(8) Tony Pollard (Titans)

11.(4) Jonathan Taylor (Colts)

10.(24) Raheem Mostert (Dolphins)

9.(29) David Montgomery (Lions)

8.(16) Kenneth Walker III (Seahawks)

7.(+) Kyren Williams (Rams)

6.(10) Aaron Jones (Vikings)

5.(23) James Conner (Cardinals)

4.(3) Nick Chubb (Browns)

3.(7) Saquon Barkley (Eagles)

2.(2) Derrick Henry (Ravens)

1.(1) Christian McCaffery (49ers)

Monday, May 13, 2024

Movie Review: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes


Disney had a tall order in front of them when they got to work on their continuation of the Planet of the Apes franchise, which is among the more valuable IP's they came into after acquiring Fox in 2019. The 2010's reboot trilogy focused on the primate takeover of Earth through the eyes of an ape named Caesar (mocapped/voiced by Andy Serkis) was not only a pretty big box office success but a sneaky beloved series that earned a lot of huge raves from critics and fans alike. Now, matching the acclaim that those films helmed by Rupert Wyatt and Matt Reeves got wasn't a fair or realistic goal for the new iteration of 20th Century. They really just needed to make something that would justify the continuation of the series and get people to care enough to be invested in a new prospective trilogy. On those grounds, Wes Ball's Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes gets the job done.

Set 300 years after the death of Caesar depicted in War for the Planet of the Apes (this isn't explicitly stated in the movie, but Ball has stated this is the case in the press), Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes introduces a world where apes have separated into their own clans and the remaining humans have devolved to a primal, almost feral state. In the opening frames, the audience is introduced to Noa (mocapped/voiced by Owen Teague)- the teenage son of the leader of a falconry clan who resides in the hills of the jungle. On the night before his clan's annual coming-of-age ceremony that he's set to partake in, a simple mistake Noa makes leads to his village being attacked by raiders and everyone from his clan besides him being killed or enslaved. Alone and grieving, Noa sets out to free his clan and ends up crossing paths with an old orangutan (mocapped/voiced by Peter Macon) who is the sole surviving member of a clan that's dedicated to preserving Caesar's teachings and a nomadic human girl (Freya Allen) who he'd previously seen glimpses of in the woods surrounding his clan's living area. His new companions inform him that the ape responsible for the abduction/killing of his clan is a tyrannical king named Proximus (mocapped/voiced by Kevin Durand)-who weaponizes Caesar's legacy to justify enslaving apes to help him try to gain access to a facility that contains artifacts and weapons from the powerful human civilizations of the past. This trio united by nothing but a common goal of taking down Proximus soon set out to stop him from gaining access to the tools that will make his oppressive regime grow even stronger and free Noa's clan and all of the other apes he's kidnapped and enslaved.

When it comes to worldbuilding, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes does a really great job. Treating Caesar as this kind of benevolent figure whose legacy has been either distorted or ignored by several generations of apes is a great backdrop to build off and the differences in how the leaders of each clan view Caesar are engrained in how they rule and function on a daily basis. Some don't even know he existed, others are trying to use his legacy to serve their aspirations of achieving power and control by any means necessary and a few are hoping to educate people about who he was to help build a brighter future for everyone. What Caesar means to the apes dictates survival, their relationship with humans and arguably, their entire worldview. That's a clever way for Kingdom to build a vivid world of its own while also establishing its place in a broader established universe, which is kind of a nice surprise considering its status as the sequel/reboot series to a sequel/reboot series.                       

Does it do much well beyond establishing a new world/setting the table for future expansion of the universe and offering up breathtaking CGI? Not particularly. The story is not consistently engaging enough to justify its 145-minute runtime, the characterizations of both the ape and human characters are pretty thin for a movie of its length and all of the attempts at big emotional beats land with a thud on account of the underdeveloped characters. Nailing the character work and plot specifics are things that can be corrected with future installments. Introducing a world is not, so Ball and writer Josh Friedman focused their creative energy in the right place to ensure their vision for a trilogy has the highest odds of actually materializing.

While Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes isn't even close to being a great standalone movie, I was interested and optimistic about the possibilities of where it can go from here when the credits rolled. Admittedly, "The future movies could be really good!!" is a pretty shitty reason to be positive about a movie that's currently out in the world but that context is the top reason why I didn't put more weight behind the movie's considerable number of flaws. Now, Ball and Friedman just need to go out and turn this intriguing blueprint into a couple of great movies so I can stop talking about potential for the future and actually relish in the euphoria of witnessing some incredible epic-scale filmmaking.               

Grade: B-

Thursday, May 9, 2024

Kevin Durand Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Kevin Durand-whose latest project "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes" releases today. 

Kevin Durand's Filmography Ranked:

19.Legion (D+)

18.Big Momma's House 2 (D+)

17.Tragedy Girls (D+)

16.Wild Hogs (D+)

15.I Am Number Four (C-)

14.X-Men Origins: Wolverine (C+)

13.Resident Evil: Retribution (B-)

12.Primal (B-)

11.Robin Hood (2010) (B-)

10.Walking Tall (B-)

9.Mystery, Alaska (B)

8.Real Steel (B)

7.The Butterfly Effect (B)

6.Noah (B+)

5.Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (B+)

4.Abigail (B+)

3.Smokin' Aces (A)

2.3:10 to Yuma (A)

1.Fruitvale Station (A)

Top Dog: Fruitvale Station (2013)

One of the more stunning cinematic experiences I've had in my life was seeing Fruitvale Station in a theater in the summer of 2013. Like far too many people, the story of Oscar Grant and his unjust murder at the hands of two BART transit cops at the titular Oakland subway station was one that I had zero awareness of prior to watching the film. By having the film take place in real time on what ended up being the final day of Grant's life, Ryan Coogler is able to make a deeply raw, gut-wrenching character study about a 22-year-old man trying to get his life back together after a stint in jail for marijuana possession that was robbed of the opportunity for redemption by the powerful evils of police brutality and racism. It's a true masterpiece and remains my favorite thing that both Coogler and Michael B. Jordan-who plays Grant-have ever been involved in.      

Bottom Feeder: Legion (2010)

An R-rated action horror movie inspired by the Second Coming of Jesus should have the potential to be a great piece of shlock entertainment. Instead, Legion takes its ridiculous premise far too seriously and ends up being a poorly written mess of a movie that's only saving grace is the occasional moment of intentional comedy brought on by its cheap visual effects and horrendous dialogue.   

Most Underrated:  Fruitvale Station (2013)

Ryan Coogler has moved onto the biggest Hollywood stages imaginable since Fruitvale Station debuted at Sundance 11 years ago, but he likely wouldn't have been put on the path to make Creed, Black Panther and his upcoming untitled vampire action blockbuster for Warner Brothers that's due out in March if it weren't for his powerhouse debut. In this journey through the final day of Oscar Grant, Coogler shows off a powerful naturalistic storytelling style and thorough command over his artistic vision that is simply stunning for somebody who was just 26 years old at the time of production. It's a perfect introduction to a filmmaker that's gone onto become one of the brightest talents that's arrived in the industry over the past 15 years and hopefully there will eventually come a time where he returns to making smaller human dramas like this.   

Most Overrated: Tragedy Girls (2017)

Overrated is probably a stretch as Tragedy Girls is a film that has largely been forgotten, but it earned a lot of acclaim on the genre festival circuit around the time it was released and it's the only title from Durand's filmography that I felt comfortable with placing here. This film's aspirations to be the modern slasher version of Heathers never even come close to panning out on account of the protagonists (Brianna Hildebrand, Alexandra Shipp) being extremely grating psychopaths with zero maniacal charisma, nearly all of the jokes falling flat and the commentary on toxic internet culture, mass desensitization to violence in the modern world, social media, etc. being far too shallow to have any potency.   

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Quarterbacks

An annual NFL offseason tradition around these parts is back again. Over the next couple months, I'll be offering up my picks for the best players at nearly every position in the NFL going into the 2024 season. Here's the criteria that I follow when putting together this series:

1.Rookies are excluded from inclusion.

2.Players are judged on where they currently stand in my opinion, not the player they once were or could potentially become. 

3.Each player is listed as a member of the team they're currently rostered by. If they're not under contract with a team for the 2024 season at the time of posting, they'll be listed as a free agent.

Kicking off the 2024 edition of the NFL Position Ranking Series is Quarterbacks-which once again featured quite a bit of shuffling after a 2023 season that saw a lot of the old greats stumble and several potential new stars emerge. Hope you enjoy and please check back often over the next several weeks to catch the rest the reveal of the remaining 14 entries in the series.    

()=2023 Ranking 

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2023

25.(+) Gardner Minshew (Raiders)

24.(+) Joe Flacco (Colts)

23.(20) Deshaun Watson (Browns)

22.(24) Justin Fields (Steelers)

21.(18) Russell Wilson (Steelers)

20.(14) Derek Carr (Saints)

19.(15) Kyler Murray (Cardinals)

18.(11) Geno Smith (Seahawks)

17.(7) Aaron Rodgers (Jets)

16.(12) Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars)

15.(19) Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

14.(+) Jordan Love (Packers)

13.(23) Baker Mayfield (Buccaneers)

12.(+) Brock Purdy (49ers)

11.(+) C.J. Stroud (Texans)

10.(13) Jared Goff (Lions)

9.(8) Kirk Cousins (Falcons)

8.(6) Justin Herbert (Chargers)

7.(9) Dak Prescott (Cowboys)

6.(4) Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

5.(10) Matthew Stafford (Rams)

4.(2) Joe Burrow (Bengals)

3.(3) Josh Allen (Bills)

2.(5) Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

1.(1) Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Movie Review: The Idea of You


Are romcoms back? The answer to that colossal question will be revealed in due time. What I can say right now is that all of the shoddy entries in the genre that have flooded the streaming services in recent years has lowered the bar to the point where every good one that comes out feels like a divine act that should be cherished. The Idea of You is the latest solid romcom sent from the heavens and with this arriving just over four months after Anyone But You became the surprise hit of the holiday season, the romcom renaissance conversation might be starting to gain some steam.

What allows The Idea of You to enter the hallowed grounds of good 2020's romcoms isn't revolutionary or clever in the slightest. In fact, it's probably the furthest thing from it. Michael Showalter is a director that's made enough of these kinds of movies to have a feel for what notes need to be hit as well as the order they need to be played in, and romantic leads Anne Hathaway and Nicholas Galitzine are bubbly presences that have excellent chemistry. Together, this trio is able to ground an absolutely absurd wish fulfillment story about a 40-year-old single mother attempting to rebound from the blinding devastation of her ex-husband's (Reid Scott-who bring just the right amount of condescending shitbaggery to this role) infidelity who falls into a whirlwind romance with the frontman of the biggest boy band on the planet after having a chance encounter with him in his trailer before his band played their headlining set at Coachella in much as reality as humanly possible. The connection between this unlikely pair is genuine and palpable and the way they handle the unique set of obstacles that come with being an older woman with a 16-year-old daughter (Ella Rubin) dating a younger male celebrity feels surprisingly honest to both characters. It's a credit to the abundant sincerity that Hathaway and Galitzine bring to their performances for making a relationship that could easily feel forced or exploitative feel like real love that audiences want to root for. Buying the central relationship is the ultimate sign that you're in the hands of romcom professionals as far as I'm concerned, and this simple fact is why The Idea of You is able to tower above so many of its disposable peers.                      

Grade: B

Monday, May 6, 2024

Movie Review: The Fall Guy

 

Like any artform, movies naturally are going to mean different things to different people. A crucial part of the love that I have for the medium derives from the wide range of emotions they're able to illicit from an audience. Depending on the mood and genre preferences of the viewer or viewers in question, there are a plethora of stories out there that will meet just about any criteria they're looking for. In the space of "entertaining summer blockbusters that make the viewer smile, laugh and just generally enjoy themselves for 2 hours", The Fall Guy is about as good as it gets.

Much has been made about The Fall Guy being a love letter to Hollywood's unsung heroes in the stunt community and rightfully so, as the movie goes to great lengths to celebrate the contributions of the people that are tasked with doing the most dangerous things on set without getting to share in any of the glory that the rest of the on-camera talent gets to bask in. As awesome as that tribute is to see, what really makes The Fall Guy special to me is how different it's from the other movies of this scale that Hollywood puts out right now. It doesn't require any familiarity with any preexisting IP (it's based on 80's television series but it's an in-name only adaptation a la the Jump Street movies or Miami Vice) nor does it have to spend the bulk of its running time checking fan service/easter egg boxes instead of just choosing to stand on its own merits. Without having to deal with the burden of those increasingly prominent constraints and obligations placed upon massive films, David Leitch is able to something that feels almost like a throwback to old school moviemaking in what it relies on to entertain audiences: Big stunts and movie stars doing movie star shit.

How long has it been since we've been treated to a movie of this scale that was driven by practical stunts and the charisma of its stars? Top Gun: Maverick filled that quota a couple years ago but that's really about it. This is a really unfortunate change in the world of moviemaking because when these movies are done right, they're singularly exhilarating to watch, and The Fall Guy can firmly be placed into that camp. 2 hours of incredible car flips, boat jumps, free falls and fist fights that features interludes of Ryan Gosling being an unfairly funny, magnetic unlikely action hero as well as a charming romantic lead who's perfectly matched with the similarly terrific Emily Blunt? That's the recipe for the perfect popcorn movie right there, especially since it's directed with such joyous passion by a former stunt performer/coordinator in Leitch and features a cast (the supporting cast headed up by Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Hannah Waddingham and Winston Duke are nearly as great as Gosling and Blunt despite their considerably less screen time) that mirrors his enthusiasm in every frame.            

My message to the rest of the movies coming out this summer season is good luck topping the fun factor of The Fall Guy. It's just such a potent reminder of what blockbuster entertainment can be when it's made with love and favors real shit over soulless fan service or any other kind of sterile, pandering bullshit. This is the type of movie that reminds me of why I fell in love with the action genre, the theatrical experience and cinema as a whole and getting the opportunity to see something like be released in 2024 made me so fucking happy. Movies like this are going to be the first ones on the chopping block if they don't find financial success (spoiler alert: The Fall Guy is not off to a great start on that front) and if you want to see any sort of true diversity in the types of projects that Hollywood makes (especially ones with big budgets), please consider heading out to a theater to see this one ASAP so the studios won't continue to tighten their purse strings when it comes to everything except a new Jurassic Park or Spider-Man movie.       

Grade: A

Friday, May 3, 2024

Quick Movie Reviews: Abigail, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, Challengers, Boy Kills World

Abigail: Radio Silence's hot streak has been extended to four. The horror collective behind Ready or Not and the past two Scream films sink their teeth into the world of vampires with this hugely entertaining, unique spin on a well-worn genre that centers around a group of criminals (Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Kevin Durand, Will Catlett, Angus Cloud) with different specialties that are hired to kidnap the 12-year old daughter (Alisha Weir) of a powerful yet mysterious businessman and hold her for ransom in a secluded mansion until their demands for a $50 million payday are met, only to quickly discover that the job was a trap and they're now locked in a confined space with a bloodthirsty creature that intends to have them all for dinner. Every role is perfectly cast with Stevens as a sleazeball ex-cop who serves as the group's de facto leader, Barrera as a former Army medic with a dark past whose desperately trying to get her life back on track and Durand as the chipper idiot security expert being the top standouts, the liberal use of blood/gore leads to some really great death scenes and Radio Silence's continued growth as filmmakers is on full display as they smoothly infuse this story's comedic and horror elements together into a cohesive whole. Hopefully Hollywood will continue to let these guys make original horror movies because there's no one in this genre right now making fun movies as well as them.     

Grade: B+

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare: It was only a matter of time before Guy Ritchie's chill workaholic period resulted in something that really suffered from his current loose directorial approach. I don't know if it's because Ritchie wasn't sure how to tackle this true story about the first special forces mission in history or he just wanted to dial back his signature energy out of respect for what this group of outcasts did to cripple the Nazi operation in WWII by destroying a fleet of German U-Boats while they were resupplying on the island of Fernando Po (aka present day Bioko) off the coast of Cameroon in 1941, but The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare features the most phoned-in direction I've seen from Ritchie in quite some time. The breezy flourishes feel like kind of an afterthought thrown into make the heroes seem like bigger snarky rebels than they were, the quip-filled dialogue is just clunky enough to question whether it was written by the man himself or a C-level impersonator of his and the lighting during the night scenes is shockingly poor for somebody whose films are known for being really well-lit. What ends up salvaging this film is a couple of small miracles in the form of action scenes that remain punchy despite all of the damn darkness that surrounds some of them and Ritchie finding a pair of aces in Eiza Gonzalez and Alan Ritchson that are the strongest additions to the company of actors who are able to speak his degenerate cinematic language since Colin Farrell in The Gentleman. Ritchie narrowly avoided mediocrity this time around and let's hope that his next feature In the Grey-which is currently slated to release in January-is a better effort than this.              

Grade: B-

Challengers: At about the two minute mark of Challengers, I already knew that Luca Guadagnino had made something special. The film opens in 2019 at an amateur tennis championship final in New Rochelle, New York. As the camera frantically moves between the action on the court, sweaty faces and tense eyes of the two men playing (Josh O'Connor, Mike Faist) and a woman in the stands (Zendaya) watching intently while a thumping industrial score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross blares in the background, it becomes clear that the stakes of this match couldn't be higher for all three of these individuals. Over the course of the film via a non-linear narrative that cuts between this match and flashbacks that span the course of about 15 years, you find out why. The two men, Patrick (O' Connor) and Art (Faist) used to be best friends and doubles partners until their relationship changed when they met a tennis prodigy named Tashi Duncan (Zendaya). After competing for her affections for a bit, Patrick goes onto date her. He elects to go pro right away while she goes off to college at Stanford where Art also happens to be. Tashi eventually suffers a career-ending injury and breaks up with Patrick since he wasn't there for her during her of time need while Art was. Years later, Tashi has become an in-demand coach and ends up having a chance meeting with Art-who has now gone pro-at a restaurant following a tournament and after catching up for a while, he asks her to be his coach. She accepts and they begin dating shortly after. Eventually, they marry and have a daughter and through Tashi's coaching, Art becomes a 3x Grand Slam Champion. Patrick, meanwhile, has flamed off the tour and spends his time sleeping in his car and using dating apps as way to secure lodging for the night as he travels to regional tournaments where he tries to win wild card entries into major tournaments. After Art undergoes a string of embarrassing losses, Tashi enters him into the New Rochelle tournament to restore his confidence and this ends up putting him on a collision course with his old friend/rival Patrick.       

It's a story about the ego, drive, jealously, love, pettiness, obsession and gamesmanship that goes into playing sports and how all of the garbage that the spirit of competition brings out has a way of bleeding over into the personal lives of the people that play these games at the highest level. Guadagnino is having the time of his life using tennis as an instrument to frame this wildly unhealthy love triangle with his use of propulsive editing, frantic camerawork and crunchy sound design to highlight just how meaningful this silly game is to the people that play it and all three leads do an exceptional job of showing just how fiercely committed they are to their pursuit of winning by any means necessary in each of their distinctly devious, obsessive performances. This is easily one of the distinct, spellbinding sports movies I've ever seen and the best thing I've seen in 2024 so far by a considerable margin. Please go check this out ASAP if you have the chance to.                

Grade: A

Boy Kills World: One of the last things I expected to see in 2024 was an homage to the works of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, but alas here we are. While it does share some clear connections to their films in the form of a tone that can only be described as a hyperactive live-action cartoon and an onslaught of heavily stylized graphic violence, Boy Kills World-which marks the feature debut for German director Mortiz Mohr-is far too tame to be this generation's Crank or Gamer. What made those films special is that they were just wall-to-wall chaos that were designed to assault the viewer's senses with over-the-top nonsense for 90 straight minutes and Boy Kills World just doesn't have the level of anarchic tenacity or unapologetic grime behind it. The revenge story at its core is never really all that engaging-especially when it starts to lean heavier on the emotional hook in the final act, the dick jokes and sophomoric namecalling that constitutes the comedy here falls flat about 97% of the time and the pacing outside of the action sequences is uneven at best. Still, the video game-inspired fight scenes are kinetic and frequent enough to give this film just enough of a spark to make it worth watching.     

Grade: B-

Thursday, May 2, 2024

10 Most Anticipated Albums of Summer 2024

10.Dark Tranquility-Endtime Signals (Release Date: August 16) 

9.Intervals-Memory Palace (Release Date: May 17)

8.Ulcerate-Cutting the Throat of God (Release Date: June 14)

7.The Story So Far-I Want to Disappear (Release Date: June 21)

6.Vale of Pnath-Between the Worlds of Life and Death (Release Date: May 24)

5.200 Stab Wounds-Manual Manic Procedures (Release Date: June 28)

4.Remi Wolf-Big Ideas (Release Date: July 12)

3.Billie Eilish-Hit Me Hard and Soft (Release Date: May 17)

2.Dua Lipa-Radical Optimism (Release Date: May 3)

1.Knocked Loose-You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To (Release Date: May 10)

Also Plan on Listening To:

Dealer-New Order of Mind (Release Date: May 10)

Candy-It's Inside You (Release Date: June 7)

Charli XCX-Brat (Release Date: June 7)

NxWorries-Why Lawd? (Release Date: June 7)

Umbra Vitae-Light of Death (Release Date: June 7)

$uicideboy$-New World Depression (Release Date: June 14)

Wage War-Stigma (Release Date: June 21)

Speed-ONLY ONE MODE (Release Date: July 12)

Wednesday, May 1, 2024

10 Most Anticipated Movies of Summer 2024

When the WGA and SAG strikes hit last year, I figured that the summer film slate of 2024 was going to be the first time that audiences really felt the impact of the shutdown. Many of the films originally slated for this portion of the calendar were either in the middle of or about to start production when the greedy idiots running the major studios decided to kneecap their business for 6 months by refusing to meet the contract terms that each union was eventually going to force them to end up agreeing to anyways.

As this summer's slate has come into focus in recent weeks, I've been pleasantly surprised by the looks of it. While the number of surefire commercial smash hits is lower than the typical May-August slate, there is a level of dynamism present in terms of the genre and scale of the films on the calendar that is sneakily impressive. We've got a pair of films from the Shyamalan family (Trap, The Watchers), a string of new prequels/sequels (Alien: Romulus, A Quiet Place: Day One, Twisters, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes) from directors that weren't involved with the original films and some smaller sicko fare (Kinds of Kindness, Longlegs, Cuckoo) that will look to lure out the degenerates who wouldn't be caught dead buying a ticket to Deadpool and Wolverine. Veteran filmmakers (Richard Linklater, Jeff Nichols, Ryusuke Hamaguchi) who lit up the festival circuit last fall will finally get to see their projects receive wide domestic releases and actor-turned-directors (Kevin Costner, John Krasinski, Zoe Kravitz) will be hoping that people connect with the original stories they've helmed. Harmony Korine will take his new experimental action flick AGRRO DR1FT from LA strip club walls to a small number of big screen auditoriums across the United States starting next week. There's even a starry romantic comedy set during the space race that involves NASA hiring a crew to fake the moon landing as a backup plan if their planned mission fails (Fly Me to the Moon). Whether all of this translates to a good slate of movies will be revealed in due time, but it's pretty fucking cool that audiences will get to dig into such a massive cinematic cornucopia if they so choose. Here are the 10 films releasing over the next 4 months that I'm most excited to see.             

10.Deadpool and Wolverine (July 26):

Letting a version of Hugh Jackman's Wolverine play around in the Deadpool's over-the-top meta sandbox is appealing enough for me to overlook the serious potential for disaster that exists with an MCU film that completed at least a fair amount of its filming during the writer's strike.   

9.Twisters (July 19):

Twister isn't a movie I'm overly fond of nor have any nostalgic feelings towards as I was only 4 years old when it was released. That being said, the presence of Lee Issac Chung (Minari) in the director's chair and a crack team of charismatic young stars (Daisy Edgar-Jones, Glen Powell, Anthony Ramos, Brandon Perea, Katy O'Brian, Sasha Lane, David Corenswet, Daryl McCormack) playing the storm chasers has me optimistic that this standalone sequel can be a great piece of old-fashioned popcorn entertainment.     

8.The Bikeriders (June 21):

Early reviews for this 60's biker gang tale have been terrific, every trailer released dating back to last fall is sick and any excuse to watch Tom Hardy invent a new accent on screen is one that I'll gladly take.   

7.Kill (July 4):

The reigning TIFF Midnight Madness Audience Award Runner-Up has earned plenty of attention on the genre festival circuit over the last 8 months for how unique, grounded and brutal its fight choreography is for an Indian action movie. Throw in the fact that all of this carnage takes place in the contained, claustrophobic setting of a moving train and you just might have what ends up being the spiritual successor to The Raid

6.A Quiet Place: Day One (June 28):

Not even seeing the trailer 6,000 times in theaters since mid-February can damper my excitement for Day One. Putting these sound-sensitive creatures in the packed, noisy setting of New York City should create an entirely new form of tension for this franchise and it'll be really cool to see Lupita Ny'ongo get the all-too-rare opportunity to lead a film.   

5.Kinds of Kindness (June 21):

Yorgos Lanthimos reuniting with his longtime writing partner Efthimis Filipou means that the Greek auteur is about to return to his real sicko shit after a brief venture into slightly less weird, cynical waters with his past 2 films. Can't wait to see what kind of deranged madness he cooks up with a fearless group of incredible actors including Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Willem Dafoe, Margaret Qualley and Hong Chau at his disposal for this anthology film.    

4.Hit Man (May 24 theaters/June 7 streaming):

Speaking of reunions, Richard Linklater and Glen Powell getting back together to make a noir comedy about a nerdy Houston cop whose long run of successful undercover operations posing as a hitman is challenged when he falls for a woman (Adria Arjona) who hires him to kill her husband is an incredible development. It's a real shame that this indie production ended up landing at Netflix after playing to raves on the festival circuit last fall, but that's just the cruel nature of the industry right now unfortunately.   

3.MaXXXine (July 5):

An 80's-set whodunit slasher that surrounds returning star Mia Goth with a bunch of weirdo character actors (Kevin Bacon, Bobby Cannavale, Giancarlo Esposito, Michelle Monaghan) playing LA sleazeballs feels like it could be the perfect way for Ti West to end his already excellent X trilogy. 

2.The Fall Guy (May 3):

An action romcom that doubles as an ode to stunt performers anchored by two of the most magnetic, naturally funny actors working in Hollywood today serving as the leadoff hitter for the 2024 summer movie season just feels right. All of the enthusiastic reviews from sources that typically don't gush over the works of David Leitch has only further upped my anticipation for it. 

1.Bad Boys: Ride or Die (June 7):

Bad Boys for Life proved that Will Smith and Martin Lawrence remain an all-time buddy duo and Belgian-Moroccan duo Adil El Arbi and Billal Fallah possessed the high-octane degenerate swagger required to fill the uniquely depraved shoes of franchise architect Michael Bay. The trailer for Ride or Die indicates that all parties involved are continuing to bring it and I can't wait to see what the end result is at the beginning of June.     

Also Plan on Seeing:

The Idea of You (May 2)

I Saw the TV Glow (May 3)

Unfrosted (May 3)

AGGRO DR1FT (May 10)

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (May 10)

Babes (May 17)

IF (May 17)

Furiosa (May 24)

I Used to Be Funny (June 7)

The Watchers (June 7)

Inside Out 2 (June 14)

Thelma (June 21)

Trigger Warning (June 21)

Daddio (June 28)

Beverley Hills Cop: Axel F (July 3)

Fly Me to the Moon (July 12)

Longlegs (July 12)

Sing Sing (July 12)

My Spy: The Eternal City (July 18)

Didi (July 26)

Cuckoo (August 2)

Kneecap (August 2)

My Old Ass (August 2)

Borderlands (August 9)

Trap (August 9) 

Alien: Romulus (August 16)

Between the Temples (August 23)

Blink Twice (August 23)

The Crow (August 23)

Incoming (August 23)