Bill Skarsgard Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Bill Skarsgard-whose latest project "Nosferatu" releases in theaters on Christmas Day. 

Bill Skarsgard's Filmography Ranked:

14.It: Chapter Two (C-)

13.Allegiant (C+)

12.Boy Kills World (B-)

11.Assassination Nation (B-)

10.The Crow (B-)

9.Villains (B)

8.The Devil All the Time (B)

7.Nine Days (B)

6.Barbarian (B)

5.It (B)

4.Eternals (B+)

3.Atomic Blonde (B+)

2.Deadpool 2 (B+)

1.John Wick: Chapter 4 (A)

Top Dog: John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

The only real problem with John Wick: Chapter 4 is that Lionsgate is probably going to feel compelled to continue Wick's story given that it's arguably the most valuable IP in their library and they're desperate for moneymakers at the moment. But for now, John Wick: Chapter 4 is a perfect conclusion to Wick's character arc and one of the most essential pieces of action cinema I've ever laid my eyes on. 

Bottom Feeder: It: Chapter Two (2019)

Even 5+ years after it hit theaters, it remains an absolute mystery to me how the same behind-the-camera creative team behind It and a gifted ensemble led by James McAvoy, Jessica Chastian and Bill Hader managed to drop the ball so hard on the sequel. The attempts at building an ominous atmosphere are regularly broken up by ill-times needle drops and comedic moments, the entire primary cast save for Hader looks completely lost in trying to the play the adult versions of the characters we met in the first installment and quite frankly, there's just a lot of goofy plot developments that ensure that the story is considerably weaker than the first installment. If it weren't for Skarsgard once again shining as Pennywise and a couple of great setpieces (the scene under the bleachers and the hall of mirrors scene), this would've been a complete disaster.  

Most Underrated: Eternals (2021)

While the puzzling choice to introduce a team of heroes that have been alive for centuries and have complicated relationships with each other, mortality and Earth in a 2.5-hour movie opposed to a 6+ hour series makes the narrative unwieldy at times, Eternals remains one of the MCU's most unique and ambitious movies. Academy Award Winner Chloe Zhao is able to bring her grounded, humanist sensibilities to the world of blockbusters by rooting this story in character above anything else and having these complex dynamics inform all of the love, destruction, death, etc. that takes place in the story gives Eternals the type of sincere emotional core that aren't typically found in Kevin Feige productions that weren't helmed by James Gunn. Plus, the action beats are really cool and Zhao's choice to shoot primarily on location ensures that it's the best-looking Marvel movie ever released.         

Most Overrated: None

Skarsgard's age (34), the sizable volume of little-seen indie projects in his filmography and my positive feelings towards projects like John Wick: Chapter 4, Barbarian and Deadpool 2 were enough to ensure that he didn't have a film appear in this section.  

Most Overhated: The Crow (2024)

As we approach the end of 2024, I feel pretty confident in saying The Crow will be my selection for the year's most overhated movie. While it absolutely would've benefitted from a sharper script and a character design for Eric Draven/The Crow that didn't look like the spiritual successor to Jared Leto's Joker from Suicide Squad, remixing this story to be a supernatural tragic romance revenge actioner mostly works. Skarsgard and FKA twigs have an easygoing chemistry that feels true to their characters, Rupert Sanders' direction is pretty stylish and the big opera house setpiece is an awesome, gory delight that is easily among the best action sequences of the year.      

James Marsden Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of James Marsden-whose latest project "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" releases in theaters today. 

James Marsden's Filmography Ranked:

22.Hop (D-)

21.Straw Dogs (D)

20.Sugar & Spice (D+)

19.Superman Returns (C-)

18.Unfrosted (C)

17.Welcome to Me (C)

16.The Notebook (C)

15.Unfinished Business (C+)

14.The Butler (C+)

13.Bachelorette (B-) 

12.Sex Drive (B-)

11.X-Men: The Last Stand (B-)

10.Knox Goes Away (B-)

9.X-Men (B)

8.Death at a Funeral (B)

7.2 Guns (B)

6.Sonic the Hedgehog (B)

5.Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (B)

4.Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (B+)

3.X2 (A-)

2.X-Men: Days of Future Past (A)

1.Zoolander (A)

Top Dog: Zoolander (2001)

While Tropic Thunder and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty are great movies, I think Zoolander is Ben Stiller's finest hour as a writer/director. A satire about the modeling industry makes for an incredible breeding ground for absurdist comedy and the bits that Stiller came up with are frequently uproarious, (the gas station scene is among the hardest I've ever laughed at anything in my life) if not borderline comic genius.        

Bottom Feeder: Hop (2011)

A grating, brutally unfunny family movie that also happens to feature Russell Brand as the voice of the Easter Bunny. We need to shoot this cursed text into the sun ASAP.   

Most Underrated: Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

Is it as good as the first one? No, but there's only 2 or 3 comedies that I find to be funnier than Anchorman, so it would be absurdly unfair to expect it to be on that level. What Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues does do is deliver another weird, stupid and demented round of absurdist comedy hijinks from a collection of actors (Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell, David Koechner, Fred Willard) that work really well together.   

Most Overrated: The Notebook (2004)

Despite their best efforts, the terrific chemistry between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams is ultimately no match for the cringey cheeseball romance power of Nicolas Sparks' source material. The manipulative tearjerker energy in this thing could power all of Earth for the next 10,000 years.      

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 16

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(3) Philadelphia Eagles (12-2) Week 16 opponent: Washington Commanders

2.(2) Kansas City Chiefs (13-1) Week 16 opponent: Houston Texans

3.(4) Buffalo Bills (11-3) Week 16 opponent: New England Patriots

4.(1) Detroit Lions (12-2) Week 16 opponent: Chicago Bears

5.(5) Minnesota Vikings (12-2) Week 16 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

6.(7) Green Bay Packers (11-3) Week 16 opponent: New Orleans Saints

7.(6) Pittsburgh Steelers (10-4) Week 16 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

8.(8) Baltimore Ravens (9-5) Week 16 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

9.(10) Denver Broncos (9-5) Week 16 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

10.(11) Washington Commanders (9-5) Week 16 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

11.(12) Houston Texans (9-5) Week 16 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

12.(14) Los Angeles Rams (8-6) Week 16 opponent: New York Jets

13.(15) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-6) Week 16 opponent:  Dallas Cowboys

14.(9) Los Angeles Chargers (8-6) Week 16 opponent: Denver Broncos

15.(13) Seattle Seahawks (8-6) Week 16 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

16.(17) Arizona Cardinals (7-7) Week 16 opponent: Carolina Panthers

17.(16) Miami Dolphins (6-8) Week 16 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

18.(20) Cincinnati Bengals (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Cleveland Browns

19.(21) Dallas Cowboys (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

20.(18) San Francisco 49ers (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Miami Dolphins

21.(22) Atlanta Falcons (6-8) Week 16 opponent: New York Giants

22.(19) Indianapolis Colts (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Tennessee Titans

23.(25) New York Jets (4-10) Week 16 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

24.(23) New Orleans Saints (5-9) Week 16 opponent: Green Bay Packers

25.(24) Carolina Panthers (3-11) Week 16 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

26.(26) Cleveland Browns (3-11) Week 16 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

27.(27) Chicago Bears (4-10) Week 16 opponent: Detroit Lions

28.(28) Jacksonville Jaguars (3-11) Week 16 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

29.(29) New England Patriots (3-11) Week 16 opponent: Buffalo Bills

30.(30) Tennessee Titans (3-11) Week 16 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

31.(31) Las Vegas Raiders (2-12) Week 16 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

32.(32) New York Giants (2-12) Week 16 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

Week 15 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Josh Allen (Bills)

While not quite at the historic levels of his Week 14 performance in LA, Allen spun another all-around gem in a shootout win versus the Lions-throwing for 362 YDS and 2 TD's and rushing for 68 YDS and 2 TD's. Allen will have a really good chance to stretch his 4+ TD streak to 4 games when the Bills return to Orchard Park to take on the ghastly Patriots on Sunday afternoon.  

Honorable Mentions: Jared Goff (Lions), Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Baker Mayfield (Buccaneers)

LVP: Brock Purdy (49ers)

Sloppy conditions in Santa Clara and poor performances from everybody else on the offense not named George Kittle led to Purdy having one of the worst games of his career (142 YDS, 0 TD's, INT, 3 rushing YDS) in a gut-wrenching loss to the Rams last Thursday night. Purdy will be a questionable starting option for his Week 16 showdown with the Dolphins.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins), Kyler Murray (Cardinals), C.J. Stroud (Texans)

Running Back

MVP: James Conner (Cardinals)

Conner rolled in a soft matchup versus the Patriots, registering 138 scrimmage YDS on 21 touches (16 carries, 5 receptions) in an easy win for the Cardinals that snapped their 3-game losing skid coming off their Week 11 bye. The steady veteran leader of the Cards backfield committee has another good matchup this week against the Panthers bottom-ranked run defense.    

Honorable Mentions: Jahmyr Gibbs (Lions), James Cook (Bills), Chase Brown (Bengals)

LVP: Najee Harris (Steelers)

It was a really rough day at the office for Harris as the Eagles stout front and lethal ball control offense rendered him damn near useless as he got just 21 YDS on his 7 touches (6 carries, 1 reception) in a deflating loss for the AFC North leaders. Harris' day actually could've been worse if the pitch from Russell Wilson that he failed to corral counted as a fumble for him. He'll hope for a much better, busier day on Sunday against a Ravens squad that he picked up 93 YDS against in their prior meeting this season. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Javonte Williams (Broncos), Derrick Henry (Ravens), Chuba Hubbard (Panthers)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Davante Adams (Jets)

It happened at least 6 weeks too late, but Adams has finally had his 1st signature moment as a Jet. The embattled star wideout looked like the All-Pro version of himself that we haven't see much over the past 2 seasons as he carved up the Jaguars for 9/198/1 and a successful 2-PT CNV reception. He'll almost certainly revert back to his mortal 32-year-old present day self against the Rams in Week 16.  

Honorable Mentions: Mike Evans (Buccaneers), Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions), Brian Thomas Jr. (Jaguars)

LVP: Amari Cooper (Bills)

To say that Cooper wasn't involved in Josh Allen's monster day in Detroit would somehow be an understatement. The newest Bills wideout didn't even register a target as Allen primarily favored Ty Johnson, Khalil Shakir and Dalton Kincaid in the passing game on this particular day. Cooper will look to redeem himself against the suspect Patriots secondary in Week 16.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Cooper Kupp (Rams), Marvin Harrison Jr. (Cardinals), Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

Tight End

MVP: Jonnu Smith (Dolphins)

Tyreek Hill and Tua Tagaovailoa's failed connections downfield that led to 3 picks and Jaylen Waddle's early exit with a knee injury opened the doors for Smith to become a checkdown magnet against the Texans and he delivered in a big way with the type of line (9/48/1) that PPR players dream of for their pass-catchers-especially at the TE position. Smith's status as a late-emerging 2024 fantasy star will be tested in a big way this week when the Dolphins take on a 49ers defense that has been tough against tight ends all season long.    

Honorable Mentions: Sam LaPorta (Lions), Trey McBride (Cardinals), Pat Freiermuth (Steelers)

LVP: Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

For a 2nd straight week, Ferguson failed to take advantage of a terrific matchup by hauling in just 2 grabs for 23 YDS against the Panthers on Sunday. He'll look to avoid making it 3 underperformances in plus matchups in a row when the Cowboys take on the Bucs in Week 16.

Dishonorable Mentions: Travis Kelce (Chiefs), Cade Otton (Buccaneers), Brock Bowers (Raiders)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Chiefs

Nothing can stop a defensive slump quite like a day where Jameis Winston's worst gunslinger tendencies are on full display. The Chiefs were able to muster a ridiculous 5 sacks and 6 takeaways (4 INT's, 2 FUM REC's) in their 21-7 victory over the Browns. They even forced Winston out of the game early in the 4th quarter and earned their final pick of the day against his replacement Dorian Thompson-Robinson! A struggling but generally turnover-averse Texans offense is up next for the Chiefs.   

Honorable Mentions: Broncos, Packers, Texans

LVP: Lions

The wheels finally came all the way off for the Lions defense against the Bills after weeks of poor play largely brought on their increasingly large share of injured starters on that side of the ball. Aaron Glenn's group surrendered a whopping 48 points, got 0 sacks or takeaways and lost another 3 starters over this hellish 60 minutes of football. Even with their certified hospital status at all 3 levels, they'll be worth trotting out as a starter for their Week 16 matchup with the Bears limp, aloof offense.          

Dishonorable Mentions: Bills, Chargers, 49ers 

Movie Review: Kraven the Hunter

These days, we need all the good news we can get to help us get through another miserable day on this dying cesspool of a planet known as Earth. Variety provided one of these essential blessed deliveries late this past Friday evening when they reported that despite rumors to the contrary, Sony's maligned and largely commercially unsuccessful Spider-Man villanverse (this isn't the official name, it's just what I'm electing to call it at the moment) would NOT be ending with Kraven the Hunter. Reading this headline early Saturday morning may've been the happiest I was all of last week. When you have something as beautiful as the SMVV on your hands, it would be a travesty to put it out to pasture over a trivial thing like tens of millions in losses for Sony and poor audience reception.

So why am I legitimately thrilled by this news? Simple: The SMVV represents the rebirth of the pre-MCU superhero movies that dominated the 2000's. It was a simpler time where the genre wasn't micromanaged or homogenized in the slightest. Nobody gave a shit about shared universes, sequel teases or even basic continuity. If anything, it felt like there was some kind of Kevin Feige-esque overlord mandating that the product on screen was as dumb and disjointed as possible. While these movies weren't great by any stretch, there was a real charm to their shortcomings that makes most of them at least kind of fun to watch.

Kraven the Hunter is able to continue this old, proud tradition that the SMVV has revitalized. What makes J.C. Chandor's long delayed origin story for the tight vest-clad land animal answer to Aquaman played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson uniquely charming is that it's the first of these films to carry an R-rating. The freedom to say/do whatever the hell they want gives Kraven a real Punisher: War Zone vibe as its cornball family soap opera meets zany crime thriller plot gets spiced up with semi-regular interludes of finely staged bloody violence. Watching overqualified actors (Taylor-Johnson, Russell Crowe, Fred Hechinger, Ariana DeBose, Christopher Abbott, Alessandro Nivola-who kind of runs away with the movie with his cartoonish weirdo dweeb take on the classic-ish Spider-Man villain The Rhino) overact their way through a nonsensical story that doesn't seem overly invested in anything other than finding a way to loosely tie its collection of mismatched characters together just hits a little bit harder when the character's use salty language and can slit somebody's throat at a moment's notice. Honestly, if there were more scenes like the Russian prison-set cold open, the foot/car chase scene through the streets of London and the climactic forest fight, this probably could've hit the same level of debased schlocky fun as the aforementioned War Zone instead of the mildly entertaining blast of unwieldy cheese this it manages to be for most of its running time.   

Look, I understand that a lot of people won't be able to find the fun in Kraven the Hunter like I did. It's an exceptionally silly, comically unfocused movie that's not "good" in any traditional sense. I just refuse to come out and shit all over a movie that takes so much pleasure in being ridiculous. Even if Sony follows through on their promise to continue this particular universe, this brand of superhero movie is almost certainly on its last legs as audiences continue to become fickler with which entries in this genre they venture out to the theaters to see, so I'm just going to enjoy watching a minor triumph in bonehead cinema like Kraven before its kind goes completely extinct.                             

Grade: B-

Jason Bateman Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Jason Bateman-whose latest project "Carry-On" debuts on Netflix tomorrow. 

Jason Bateman's Filmography Ranked:

28.Fool's Paradise (D)

27.This is Where I Leave You (D)

26.Identity Thief (D)

25.Juno (D)

24.The Change-Up (C-)

23.The Sweetest Thing (C-)

22.The Break-Up (C-)

21.The Switch (C)

20.Zootopia (C)

19.Thunder Force (C+)

18.State of Play (C+)

17.Office Christmas Party (B-)

16.Hit and Run (B-)

15.The Kingdom (B)

14.Hancock (B)

13.Bad Words (B)

12.Horrible Bosses 2 (B)

11.Extract (B)

10.Starsky & Hutch (B)

9.Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (B)

8.The Gift (B)

7.Up in the Air (B)

6.Central Intelligence (B+)

5.Paul (B+)

4.Air (B+)

3.Horrible Bosses (A-)

2.Smokin' Aces (A)

1.Game Night (A)

Top Dog: Game Night (2018)

Game Night isn't just arguably the best studio comedy of the 2010's, it's one of the best studio comedies of the 21st century period. The perfectly matched ensemble (Bateman, Rachel McAdams, Kyle Chandler, Jesse Plemons, Billy Magnussen, Lamorne Morris, Sharon Horgan, Kylie Bunbury) is on fire from start to finish, the direction from John Frances Daley and Jonathan Goldstein is super lively and stylish and the script's thriller/mystery undertones are expertly deployed to complement and heighten the comedy of the insane situation the characters find themselves in.   

Bottom Feeder: Fool's Paradise (2023)

As a big fan of Charlie Day, I'm still stunned by just how bad Fool's Paradise is. You could easily talk about how it doesn't work as a showbiz satire or Chaplin-esque slapstick piece, but the most succinct way to sum up its head-scratching failure is that it's simply not very funny. The only signs of comedic life in the whole damn movie come from Common and Glenn Howerton and neither of them are in it for long enough to meaningfully salvage this sinking ship. Hopefully Day gets another crack at directing someday because I still believe that he's capable of making a really great comedy.     

Most Underrated: Smokin' Aces (2007)

This is going to sound made-up, but I promise it's true: I walked out of the theater after seeing Smokin' Aces in January 2007 (I was 14 going on 15 at the time) believing that I'd seen one of the greatest movies ever made. At 32 going on 33, I'm not quite as high on Smokin' Aces but I still believe it's a special movie. Joe Caranahan effectively operates as a white trash Tarantino as he builds this manic, booze-and-cocaine-fueled world of assassins, sleazy magicians and sleazier law enforcement officials, which results in an exercise in vulgar excess that is exhausting and exhilarating in equal measure. It should be preserved in the Library of Congress ASAP.            

Most Overrated: Zootopia (2016)

This really just comes down to me not connecting with Zootopia in the slightest. The characters are kind of dull, the humor is inconsistent and the racism allegory that drives the plot is lacking anything beyond surface level resonance. We'll see if next year's Zootopia 2 will be able to sway me more towards side of the 'Topia faithful.     

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 15

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Detroit Lions (12-1) Week 15 opponent: Buffalo Bills 

2.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (12-1) Week 15 opponent: Cleveland Browns

3.(4) Philadelphia Eagles (11-2) Week 15 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

4.(2) Buffalo Bills (10-3) Week 15 opponent: Detroit Lions

5.(6) Minnesota Vikings (11-2) Week 15 opponent: Chicago Bears

6.(7) Pittsburgh Steelers (10-3) Week 15 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

7.(5) Green Bay Packers (9-4) Week 15 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

8.(8) Baltimore Ravens (8-5) Week 15 opponent: New York Giants

9.(9) Los Angeles Chargers (8-5) Week 15 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

10.(10) Denver Broncos (8-5) Week 15 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

11.(11) Washington Commanders (8-5) Week 15 opponent: New Orleans Saints

12.(12) Houston Texans (8-5) Week 15 opponent: Miami Dolphins

13.(13) Seattle Seahawks (8-5) Week 15 opponent: Green Bay Packers

14.(15) Los Angeles Rams (7-6) Week 15 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

15.(16) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-6) Week 15 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

16.(17) Miami Dolphins (6-7) Week 15 opponent: Houston Texans

17.(14) Arizona Cardinals (6-7) Week 15 opponent: New England Patriots

18.(21) San Francisco 49ers (6-7) Week 15 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

19.(19) Indianapolis Colts (6-7) Week 15 opponent: Denver Broncos

20.(22) Cincinnati Bengals (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

21.(20) Dallas Cowboys (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Carolina Panthers

22.(18) Atlanta Falcons (6-7) Week 15 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

23.(23) New Orleans Saints (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Washington Commanders

24.(27) Carolina Panthers (3-10) Week 15 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

25.(26) New York Jets (3-10) Week 15 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

26.(25) Cleveland Browns (3-10) Week 15 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

27.(24) Chicago Bears (4-9) Week 15 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

28.(31) Jacksonville Jaguars (3-10) Week 15 opponent: New York Jets

29.(29) New England Patriots (3-10) Week 15 opponent; Arizona Cardinals

30.(28) Tennessee Titans (3-10) Week 15 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

31.(30) Las Vegas Raiders (2-11) Week 15 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

32.(32) New York Giants (2-11) Week 15 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

Week 14 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Josh Allen (Bills)

Allen's bonkers, history-making performance (342 passing YDS, 82 rushing YDS, 3 passing AND rushing TD's) in a thrilling shootout loss to the Rams swayed the outcome of many games on this final weekend of the regular season in most 12+ team leagues. The Bills star has emerged as the new MVP favorite after this awe-inspiring outing and if he keeps this level of play up over the next 3 weeks, he'll be the frontrunner for fantasy MVP favorite as well.     

Honorable Mentions: Sam Darnold (Vikings), Joe Burrow (Bengals), Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

LVP: Justin Herbert (Chargers)

Without top WR Ladd McConkey in the lineup, Herbert was mostly held in check against the Chiefs on Sunday night-throwing for 213 YDS and a TD while adding 12 YDS on 4 carries. He should be much more productive this week against a horrid Bucs secondary that has surrendered the most fantasy points to QB's this season.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Caleb Williams (Bears), Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs), Jordan Love (Packers)

Running Back

MVP: Zach Charbonnet (Seahawks)

Anybody that was lucky enough to have arguably the most popular RB handcuff in fantasy right now got to really revel in their good fortune this week as Charbonnet flourished in the Seahawks RB1 role, turning his 29 touches (22 carries, 7 receptions) into 193 YDS and a pair of scores. Mike Macdonald said during his press conference yesterday that Kenneth Walker III is set to undergo more testing on his injured calf, which naturally puts his status to suit up on Sunday night against in the Packers in real jeopardy. If Charbonnet does indeed start again, he'll be on the RB1/RB2 borderline against Green Bay's middling run defense.     

Honorable Mentions: Isaac Guerendo (49ers), Josh Jacobs (Packers), Rachaad White (Buccaneers)

LVP: James Cook (Bills)

The deep hole that the Bills dug for themselves in the first half versus the Rams that opened the door for Josh Allen's historic performance turned Cook into an afterthought on the Bills offense, finishing the day with 29 YDS on just 8 touches (6 carries, 2 receptions). Cook could be in for another unusually quiet day in Week 15 when the Bills square off against the Lions stout run D.     

Dishonorable Mentions: D'Andre Swift (Bears), Nick Chubb (Browns), Kareem Hunt (Chiefs)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

Chase's quest for an All-Pro appearance amidst a lost season for the Bengals continues to be mighty successful. His latest overmatched foe was the Cowboys corner group, who allowed him to haul in a whopping 14 catches for 177 YDS and 2 TD's. He also added a 14-YD rush to further pump up his absurd statline. The overall fantasy WR1 has a date with the Titans top-ranked pass defense next.   

Honorable Mentions: Puka Nacua (Rams), Jordan Addison (Vikings), Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

LVP: Jayden Reed (Packers)

After remarkably avoiding it through 12 games of his feast-or-famine sophomore campaign, Reed finally put up a goose egg against the Lions. Jordan Love looked his way just once on a night where Christian Watson, Tucker Kraft and Dontayvion Wicks were responsible for all but 2 of the receiving YDS. Reed will look to return to the explosive end of his wildly erratic playing spectrum against the Seahawks on Sunday night.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Tee Higgins (Bengals), Keenan Allen (Bears), Deebo Samuel (49ers)

Tight End

MVP: George Kittle (49ers)

While he was held out of the endzone, Kittle led the 49ers in receiving by a wide margin (6 REC/151 YDS) in their commanding win over the Bears. He should be a strong TE1 play for this week's crucial divisional showdown with the Rams.  

Honorable Mentions: Pat Freiermuth (Steelers), Jonnu Smith (Dolphins), David Njoku (Browns)

LVP: Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

While the perpetually infuriating Falcons TE was on the receiving end of 6 targets against the Vikings, he only ended up with a lone reception for 14 YDS. A Week 15 matchup with an incredibly soft Raiders defense will be a do-or-die spot for his TE1 status the rest of the way.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Cole Kmet (Bears), Jake Ferguson (Cowboys), Evan Engram (Jaguars)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: 49ers

Unlike their showdown with the Bills in Week 13, the absence of Nick Bosa didn't prevent the 49ers defense from having a great performance. In fact, they had easily one of their finest showings of 2024, stacking up 7 sacks and a fumble recovery on a stagnant Bears offense in a 38-13 victory. They'll be a potentially shaky play for Thursday night's contest with the Rams.  

Honorable Mentions: Buccaneers, Steelers, Saints

LVP: Bills

The Bills defense was shockingly awful against the Rams, getting shredded for 44 points while failing to register a single sack or takeaway. Starting them against the Lions powerhouse offense this week after a performance like this feels like a bad idea.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Dolphins, Eagles, Lions

Movie Review: Y2K

 

There's no denying that the presence of sketchy small town video stores, AIM and nu metal icon Fred Durst adds to the nostalgic aesthetic of Kyle Mooney's absurdist disaster horror comedy Y2K-which envisions an alternate world where the fears over the "Y2K bug" actually materialized and all of the computers in the world banded together to exterminate the human race at midnight on January 1, 2000. But what really sells the authenticity of its throwback to the late 90's/early 00's is how it mixes broad comedy with absurdly over-the-top genre elements. Specifically, Y2K hits a lot of the same messily charming notes of the 1999 cult hit Idle Hands as it primarily focuses on a group of teens (Jaeden Martell, Rachel Zegler, Julian Dennison, Lachlan Watson, Daniel Zolghadri) from different cliques fighting to survive after escaping a New Year's Eve party that ended with many of their peers getting slaughtered by the technology that was in the house.

The frequent shifts from lighthearted buddy movie to goofy stoner comedy to teen romance to full-blown splatterfest will likely alienate the shit out of most audiences who aren't familiar with the pop culture of the period. Those that have read and embraced the sacred texts of this era where teen B-movies had inconsistent tones and high body counts will probably find at least something to like here. Mooney dives headfirst into the rough absurdity of this venture by creating many punchlines that are delightfully idiotic and relevant to the time period while also manufacturing moments of earnest emotion practically out of thin air. There's a real risk of something that's so rooted in a specific moment of time becoming an exhausting joke that overstays its welcome, but Mooney avoids that by keeping the runtime tight (91 minutes!) and concocting a killer final act that is anchored by a hilarious, scene-stealing turn from Durst himself. 

At a time of year where cinema is dominated by serious awards fare, it was cool to watch something so shaggy and silly on the big screen. While I'm not confident it will go onto develop a true cult following, there's no doubt in my mind that some high school kids in the future will watch this shit at 2 AM (quite possibly under the influence of reefer) and think it's the funniest movie they've ever seen. In my eyes, this means Mooney and the gen-Z leaders of his cast -who all do an admirable job of pretending they understand the unique pain of waiting for the dial-up internet to boot up-accomplished what they set out to do with Y2K.                                  

Grade: B

Scoot McNairy Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Scoot McNairy-whose latest project "Nightbitch" is in select theaters now.

Scoot McNairy's Filmography Ranked:

17.The Rover (D-)

16.Killing Them Softly (C-)

15.Luckiest Girl Alive (C)

14.Monsters (C)

13.The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter (B-)

12.Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-)

11.Our Brand is Crisis (B-)

10.Sleepless (B-)

9.Destroyer (B)

8.Speak No Evil (B)

7.12 Years a Slave (B)

6.C'mon C'mon (B+)

5.Non-Stop (B+)

4.Argo (B+)

3.A Quiet Place: Part II (B+)

2.Once Upon a Time in Hollywood... (A)

1.Gone Girl (A)

Top Dog: Gone Girl (2014)

If Gone Girl does indeed prove to be the last pure theatrical release of David Fincher's career, at least he went out with a bang. The Gillian Flynn-penned mystery thriller simultaneously manages to be a masterful deconstruction of a failed marriage, darkly comedic takedown of modern sensationalist media and twisty, wildly compelling procedural. Rosamund Pike burns up the screen with her layered, powerhouse performance as Amy Dunne-the daughter of a famous author who goes missing on the day of her fifth wedding anniversary while Ben Affleck shines almost as brightly as a cold, smug prick whose accused of being behind the disappearance of his estranged wife. Throw in an incredible supporting cast (Carrie Coon, Tyler Perry, Neil Patrick Harris, Kim Dickens, Emily Ratajkowski, Casey Wilson, Missi Pyle) and Fincher's reliably terrific visual eye and you have a real masterpiece on your hands.     

Bottom Feeder: The Rover (2016)

The scene where Robert Pattinson's character jams out to "Pretty Girl Rock" in the car is hilarious. Other than that, The Rover is a remarkably dour and dull dystopian tale that is well beneath the talent level of its director David Michod.     

Most Underrated: Non-Stop (2014)

Ah yes, the good old days of the mid-2010's where Liam Nesson was still ripping out really fun action movies on a regular basis. Non-Stop is a borderline perfect propulsive B-thriller that makes great use of its confined setting (an airplane that's mid-flight) to build suspense, has a cast of consummate pros (Julianne Moore, Michelle Dockery, McNairy, Lupita Ny'ongo, Nate Parker, Corey Stoll, Anson Mount) that are happy to ride the silliness wave of its twist-happy story and ends with an awesome, chaotic setpiece that Jaume Collet-Serra directs the hell out of. Check it out on Netflix before Collet-Serra's next airplane-based action thriller Carry-On drops on the platform next Friday.         

Most Overrated: 12 Years a Slave (2013)

At its best, 12 Years a Slave is a stirring portrayal of the horrors of slavery and Solomon Northup's harrowing, infuriating journey from free man to slave and back again. At its worst, it's shamelessly melodramatic awards bait. The prevalence of the latter, particularly in the final third of the film when Michael Fassbender's Edwin Epps becomes a regular fixture on screen, is why I've long felt 12 Years a Slave is a good but not great film that fails to live up to its Best Picture Winner pedigree.  

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 14

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Detroit Lions (11-1) Week 14 opponent: Green Bay Packers

2.(2) Buffalo Bills (10-2) Week 14 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

3.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (11-1) Week 14 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

4.(5) Philadelphia Eagles (10-2) Week 14 opponent: Carolina Panthers

5.(4) Green Bay Packers (9-3) Week 14 opponent: Detroit Lions

6.(6) Minnesota Vikings (10-2) Week 14 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

7.(8) Pittsburgh Steelers (9-3) Week 14 opponent: Cleveland Browns

8.(7) Baltimore Ravens (8-5) Week 14 opponent: Bye

9.(9) Los Angeles Chargers (8-4) Week 14 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

10.(10) Denver Broncos (8-5) Week 14 opponent: Bye

11.(11) Washington Commanders (8-5) Week 14 opponent: Bye

12.(12) Houston Texans (8-5) Week 14 opponent: Bye

13.(15) Seattle Seahawks (7-5) Week 14 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

14.(13) Arizona Cardinals (6-6) Week 14 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

15.(18) Los Angeles Rams (6-6) Week 14 opponent: Buffalo Bills

16.(17) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-6) Week 14 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

17.(14) Miami Dolphins (5-7) Week 14 opponent: New York Jets

18.(16) Atlanta Falcons (6-6) Week 14 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

19.(21) Indianapolis Colts (6-7) Week 14 opponent: Bye

20.(24) Dallas Cowboys (5-7) Week 14 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

21.(19) San Francisco 49ers (5-7) Week 14 opponent: Chicago Bears

22.(20) Cincinnati Bengals (4-8) Week 14 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

23.(22) New Orleans Saints (4-8) Week 14 opponent: New York Giants

24.(23) Chicago Bears (4-8) Week 14 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

25.(26) Cleveland Browns (3-9) Week 14 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

26.(25) New York Jets (3-9) Week 14 opponent: Miami Dolphins

27.(27) Carolina Panthers (3-9) Week 14 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

28.(28) Tennessee Titans (3-9) Week 14 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

29.(29) New England Patriots (3-10) Week 14 opponent: Bye

30.(30) Las Vegas Raiders (2-10) Week 14 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

31.(31) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-10) Week 14 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

32.(32) New York Giants (2-10) Week 14 opponent: New Orleans Saints

Week 13 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Jayden Daniels (Commanders)

Daniels returns to this spot for the 2nd straight week, only this time it came in a decisive Commanders victory and not a head-spinning loss. The rookie signalcaller punished the Titans for the slew of mistakes they made on both sides of the ball, amassing 206 YDS and 3 TD's through the air and 34 YDS and a TD on the ground. He also threw another pick-his 4th in the last 3 games, but that clearly didn't put much of a damper on his big day. Daniels goes into his Week 14 bye as the overall fantasy QB2 behind Lamar Jackson, but he may have a hard time holding onto a top 5 spot down the stretch with Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Jalen Hurts and Baker Mayfield all within striking distance of his point total.  

Honorable Mentions: Josh Allen (Bills), Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

LVP: Brock Purdy (49ers)

Purdy's return to action after a 1-week absence couldn't have gone any worse as the whipping lake effect snow in Orchard Park and a hungry Bills team caused him to be a complete non-factor (94 YDS, 4 Rushing YDS, 0 TD, lost fumble). He'll undoubtedly be thrilled to return to the warm climate of Santa Clara this week to take on the Bears.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Justin Herbert (Chargers), Baker Mayfield (Buccaneers), C.J. Stroud (Texans)

Running Back

MVP: Bucky Irving (Buccaneers)

On a day where Baker Mayfield wasn't at all sharp, the Bucs offense relied heavily on Irving to make plays, and he delivered in a big way. The rookie back went absolutely ballistic against the Panthers porous defense, picking up 152 YDS and a score on his 25 carries. He also added another 33 YDS from his 3 receptions on the day. Irving has been kind of a revelation of late for the Bucs offense as he's been the primary reason their rushing attack has gone from the worst in the league a year ago to #8 overall this year. He'll be a strong RB2 for their Week 14 tilt with the Raiders. 

Honorable Mentions: Bijan Robinson (Falcons), Najee Harris (Steelers), Joe Mixon (Texans)

LVP: Chuba Hubbard (Panthers)

It was a miserable day at the office for Hubbard against the Bucs as he not only gained just 43 YDS on 12 carries, wasn't targeted in the passing game at all and lost a fumble that led to the Bucs kicking the game-winning field goal in OT but ceded a fair number of snaps to rookie Jonathon Brooks. Question marks over his role moving forward paired with a tough matchup versus the Eagles make him a strong bench candidate in Week 14.

Dishonorable Mentions: Kenneth Walker III (Seahawks), Breece Hall (Jets), Tony Pollard (Titans)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Jerry Jeudy (Browns)

Never doubt the power of revenge. Jeudy had one of the most improbable fantasy explosions in recent memory by putting together easily the best game of his career (9 REC/235 YDS/TD/2 PT-CNV) against the Broncos-who traded him to the Browns back in March. While he obviously won't replicate this performance again, Jeudy has really hit his stride since Jameis Winston became the Browns starting quarterback in Week 8-averaging 6.6 receptions and 122.8 YDS per game over that period. He'll be on the WR2/3 borderline for this week's contest with the Steelers  

Honorable Mentions: Terry McLaurin (Commanders), Keenan Allen (Bears), Mike Evans (Buccaneers)

LVP: Tank Dell (Texans)

Dell putting together his quietest game (1 REC/23 YDS/4 TGTS) in over a month against the Jaguars putrid secondary is a bit of a head-scratcher, especially given how much C.J. Stroud had been looking his way in recent weeks (an average of 7.5 times per game over the previous 4 weeks). Following the Texans Week 14 bye, Dell's up-and-down 2024 campaign will close out with the appropriately boom-or-bust matchup trio of the Vikings, Chiefs and Ravens during the fantasy playoffs. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Deebo Samuel (49ers), Amari Cooper (Bills), Cooper Kupp (Rams)

Tight End

MVP: Brock Bowers (Raiders)

Bowers got to show the whole world how great of a season he's having for a wretched Raiders team when he absolutely torched the Chiefs defense (10 REC/140 YDS/TD, 1 CAR/2 YDS) during Amazon's Black Friday game. The University of Georgia product has delivered huge value for his fantasy managers as an 8th or 9th round pick in most leagues as he is currently on track to be the overall TE1 for 2024. The Bucs are the next team that have the misfortune of going against him.   

Honorable Mentions: David Njoku (Browns), Jonnu Smith (Dolphins), Mark Andrews (Ravens)

LVP: Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

Kirk Cousins suddenly looking old as hell and Bijan Robinson earning even more touches than he was getting a month ago is not a good recipe for Pitts. The famously erratic Falcons tight end put up his second donut of 2024 versus the Chargers on Sunday afternoon and was targeted just 2 times on a day where only Drake London and Ray-Ray McCloud could get on the same page as Cousins. Since his 4/91/2 eruption against the Bucs in Week 8, Pitts has just 1 multi-catch game and 0 TD's. Start him at your own peril against the Vikings in Week 14.  

Dishonorable Mentions: George Kittle (49ers), T.J. Hockenson (Vikings), Cade Otton (Buccaneers)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Broncos

The Broncos usually stout defense was pretty awful last night against the Browns, surrendering 552 YDS of total offense and 32 points. So how did they end in the MVP column? Jameis F'n Winston baby! Winston put together one of his gunslinger masterpieces as he took 3 sacks and threw 3 INT's including a pair of pick 6's that ultimately won the Broncos the game. This group will have a real soft landing spot when they return to action in Week 15 to take on the Colts turnover-prone, largely ineffective offense.  

Honorable Mentions: Cowboys, Steelers, Bills

LVP: 49ers

Anybody who played the 49ers this week with the hopes that the snow in Orchard Park would keep things tight paid for it dearly as they allowed 35 points without getting a single sack or takeaway. As long as Nick Bosa remains out, they'll be a shaky play, even in plus matchups like the one they have with the Bears this week.

Dishonorable Mentions: Ravens, Texans, Eagles

Quick Movie Reviews: Gladiator II, The Piano Lesson, Wicked

Gladiator II: There's some really great stuff in Gladiator II. The battle sequences from the huge naval battles down to the brutal 1-on-1 swordfights are absolutely remarkable, the production design team was able to transform modern day Malta into a richly detailed, jaw-dropping replica of Ancient Rome and getting Denzel Washington to play a sleazily charismatic arms dealer/aristocrat whose hungry to overthrow Rome's emperors (Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger, who both do some great scenery-chewing) is a masterstroke of casting that results in the birth of one hell of a villain. 

But as is often the case with modern day Ridley Scott films, the legendary director actively finds ways to limit the effectiveness of the really great working blueprint of a movie he has sitting in front of him. What should be a simple revenge tale of a lost son of Rome (Paul Mescal-who does well with the physicality of the role, but struggles to channel the fury that's supposed to flow through the character) fighting to bring down the corrupt, maniacal assholes responsible for his suffering (aka a slightly reworked version of the original's plot a la Star Wars: The Force Awakens) is complicated by Scott's insistence on stacking up underdeveloped subplots involving the large collection of side characters it introduces (minor spoiler: Pedro Pascal's General Acacius is involved in nearly all of them and still manages to sit on the sidelines for the bulk of the movie!) until it loses interest in the revenge tale entirely. The lack of catharsis, sorrow or really any emotion outside of apathy that the ending evokes is really shocking for a narrative that is steeped in tragedy, legacy and the mourning of a good life that the bloodlust of power-hungry tyrants didn't allow to be lived. Scott has been doing this shit for way too long to not have the discipline to focus on the story he's trying to tell and not dilute it by veering off into a million different directions that don't meaningfully add to the hero's journey. There's still enough entertainment value in the action sequences and macho soap opera theatrics for Gladiator II to work, it's just frustrating to see a movie that easily could've been great settle for being unremarkably good.             

Grade: B

The Piano Lesson: While the marriage between the story's grounded family drama and explicit supernatural elements isn't always the cleanest and there are a few scenes that could've been trimmed down or cut out entirely without impacting the plot in the slightest, The Piano Lesson is one of the best screen adaptations of an August Wilson play to date. Malcolm Washington does a good job of avoiding the stagey trappings that Wilson's single location, dialogue-heavy style tends to attract by moving the camera around and making purposeful, organic cuts that confirm that these actors aren't stuck in the cramped confines of a Broadway stage and the great performances from this small but mighty ensemble cast (John David Washington, Samuel L. Jackson, Danielle Deadwyler, Ray Fisher, Skylar Aleece Smith, Michael Potts, Corey Hawkins) are all able to find the sweet spot of honoring the heightened emotions of its theatrical origins with the comparatively minimalist approach cinema can use to explore its themes of generational trauma brought on by the lasting ramifications of slavery, family dynamics and how relatives are able to interpret their own family history in such radically different ways. Be sure to seek this one out on Netflix if you dug Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, Fences or just want to see a movie that's made for adults that explores the painful past of many families living in the United States in a unique way.   

Grade: B

Wicked: A collision of two chapters (blockbusters, musicals) of his unusual directorial career made Jon M. Chu the right person to finally bring Wicked to the big screen 21 years after it made its debut on Broadway. The veteran filmmaker tackles the sweeping musical setpieces, Wizard of Oz lore dumps and tale of the powerful friendship that once existed between two famous witches that went onto to become bitter rivals that makes up Wicked with a peppy, workmanlike craftsmanship that takes great pleasure in building up such a huge world. 

As much as Chu's giddy directorial proficiency benefits the production, it's the work of Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande that allows the film to really sing when it needs to (no pun intended). Elphaba and Galinda's relationship is the glue that ties this whole thing together and these two women beautifully capture how their vastly different personalities and upbringings caused them to resent then respect each other before they're forced to part ways by circumstances beyond their control. The strength of their efforts really materializes in the stirring final act that perfectly sets up the second half of the film. There's really no movie if those emotional beats don't land, and both Erivo and Grande do a terrific job of selling the devastation and necessity of this moment and how it allowed both women to fulfill the destiny this world had planned for them. The Oscar nominations that are likely coming their way will be well deserved.   

Despite the strength of its lead performances and Chu largely living up to the challenge of making an epic musical, there are some really glaring, embarrassing deficiencies that are impossible to overlook. The CGI is goofy as hell and violently clashes with the stunning practical sets Nathan Crowley designed while cinematographer Alice Brooks' muted, drab lighting choices fail to capture the vibrancy of its fantastical setting. It also continues the embarrassing recent trend of prequels, sequels and spin-offs making comically inorganic references to previous films in order to get some kind of nostalgic nod of approval from the audience or some shit (the Yellow Brick Road one here is a strong contender to top a certain Aliens reference from Alien: Romulus as the most egregious one of the year). Will any of these elements improve in Wicked: Part Two? Probably not, but I'm looking forward to finding out next November.                    

Grade: B