Movie Review: Jurassic World

22 years ago, a group of scientists and their children were terrorized by a group of lab-engineered dinosaurs in Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park. Spielberg's blockbuster delighted audiences and redefined blockbusters with its groundbreaking visuals and special event feel. The series went on to spawn two financially successful but middling sequels that didn't leave much of a lasting mark on the filmgoing public.   After a 14-year hiatus, the Jurassic Park series has come roaring back to the screen with Jurassic World, which brings the series' prehistoric horrors to a new generation of moviegoers.

Its been over two decades since disaster rocked tech-billionaire John Hammond's dinosaur theme park, but after some good PR and successful re-branding, guests have been flocking to Jurassic World on the remote island of Isla Nubar. Attendance has been steady since the park reopened, but according to focus groups run by the park's operators, the people want to see bigger, more lethal dinosaurs at Jurassic World. The public's desire for bigger dinosaurs forces park owner (Irrfan Khan) and manager (Bryce Dallas Howard) to have the park's chief geneticist Dr. Henry Wu (B.D. Wong, reprising his role from the first film) and his team cook up a brand new dinosaur in their lab. What Wu comes with up is a hybrid dinosaur known as the Indominus Rex- which contains the DNA of numerous predatory dinosaurs and other animals such as the tree frog and the cuttlefish. Of course, the Indominus Rex ends up being much scarier, deadlier and intelligent than the park runners had hoped,and their creation soon breaks out of its habitat and begins freely roaming the park, killing anything that gets in its path. Now it's up to the park's raptor trainer and resident dinosaur expert Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) to stop the Indominus Rex before it eviscerates the thousands of guest and employees that are on the park's property.

Jurassic World is about as dumb and flat-out absurd as a blockbuster can be. The screenplay is littered with gaps in logic and underdeveloped characters/subplots, a majority of the characters make decisions so mind-bogglingly stupid that they make stereotypical brainless horror movie characters look like Rhodes Scholars, and the acting-save for Pratt, whose work here further solidifies his standing as one of the best action heroes in the business- ranges from bad to subpar at best. No matter poorly-conceived or corny it is at times, Jurassic World is never less than absurdly entertaining to watch. The film is designed as a spectacle to watch badass dinosaurs wreak havoc on a group of unsuspecting humans and in that regard, the film is a smashing success. Director Colin Trevorrow (Safety Not Guaranteed) transitions gracefully from the world of indie comedies to ginormous blockbusters, packing each action sequence with a liberal amount of edge-of-your-seat suspense.  The choice to pile on the dino carnage is enough to make you forgive and forget about the film's deficiencies in just about every other area. Jurassic World isn't even close to being the game-changer the 1993 original was, but it's exactly the type of loud, idiotic and fun thrill ride the summer movie season is built around. 

3.5/5 Stars

2015 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Inside Linebackers

25.Jerod Mayo (Patriots)
24.Danny Trevathan (Broncos)

23.D'Qwell Jackson (Colts)
22.James Laurinaitis (Rams)

21.Daryl Washington (Cardinals)

20.Paul Worrilow (Falcons)

19.Preston Brown (Bills)

18.Rolando McClain (Cowboys)
17.Jerrell Freeman (Colts)
16.Stephen Tulloch (Lions)
15.Sean Lee (Cowboys)
14.Donald Butler (Chargers)
13.Kiko Alonso (Eagles)

12.Derrick Johnson (Chiefs)
11.Mychal Kendricks (Eagles)
10.David Harris (Jets)

9.NaVorro Bowman (49ers)
8.Brian Cushing (Texans)
7.Brandon Marshall (Broncos)
6.Daryl Smith (Ravens)
5.C.J. Mosley (Ravens)
4.Karlos Dansby (Browns)

3.Lawrence Timmons (Steelers)
2.Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)

1.Luke Kuechly (Panthers)

The Best and Worst of Chris Pratt

Films Starring Chris Pratt That I've Seen:
Wanted
Take Me Home Tonight
Moneyball
What's Your Number?
The Five-Year Engagement
Zero Dark Thirty
Movie 43
Delivery Man
Her
The Lego Movie
Guardians of the Galaxy

Best Performance: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
The performance that exposed the long-ignored Pratt to most of the free world also happens to be his finest work to-date. Pratt used the charm and sharp comedic timing that made him a weekly scene-stealer on NBC sitcom Parks & Recreation to make Star Lord one of the most dynamic and badass heroes in the vast Marvel universe. 

Worst Performance: What's Your Number? (2011)
Pratt's role in What's Your Number? is pretty small, but he's on screen long enough to completely embarrass himself in a generic "nice guy" romantic comedy role that completely suffocates all of his rich comedic talent. I'm thoroughly convinced he only agreed to appear to in this turkey as a favor to his wife Anna Farris, who was the film's lead.

Best Film: Moneyball (2011)
Pratt's first big-screen foray into drama couldn't have come in a better film. Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin and director Bennett Miller's look at the life of Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) and how he made the cash-strapped A's one of the best teams in baseball through finding unheralded young players and veterans who were considered to be past their prime nobody else would take a chance on (Scott Hatteberg, the player Pratt portrays, falls into the latter camp) is one of the most engrossing and collectively well-acted sports films of all-time. 


Worst Film: What's Your Number? (2011)
It was a true toss-up between this and Movie 43 for the worst film Pratt has ever starred in, but What's Your Number? gets the edge as it was somehow even more unfunny than the notorious star-studded trainwreck that was Movie 43. What's Your Number? is about as formulaic and brainless as a romantic comedy can get and features some of the most annoying characters to grace the screen in recent film history. Not even the presence of the always-great Anna Farris and Chris Evans in the two leading roles could make this dumpster fire of a movie more tolerable. 

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next Week I'll take a look at the best and worst work of Inside Out star Bill Hader.

Concert Review: Juicy J-- Boston, MA-- June 10th, 2015

Everyone's favorite cannabis and codeine-loving Academy Award-winning hip-hop artist Juicy J brought his month-long "The Hustle Continues" tour to Boston last night. On the first truly beautiful and warm day in Boston in at least two weeks, the Memphis-based rapper successfully turned the House of Blues into the most lively party spot in the city.

In typical hip-hop show fashion, the festivities did not get started on time. Out of the 90 or so non hip-hop shows I've been to only two or three have started late. Meanwhile every single one of the 10 hip-hop shows I've been to have started at least 30 minutes late. While it's commonplace for hip-hop shows to get going well after the listed start time, Juicy J is the new champion for concert tardiness, hitting the stage over 90 minutes after the show's scheduled 8:00 start time. Once Juicy finally came out, things did not start off smoothly as he barley even rapped any of set opener "Throw Dem Racks" from his new mixtape Blue Dream & Lean 2. After watching him mostly stand there and let the backing track play without actually rapping for most of the first song, I became really nervous that I had just wasted $40 to see Juicy J vibe out to and not actually perform his music. My fear that I wasted my money didn't last long as Juicy started rapping on the following track "Stoners Night" and only pulled the jam-out-to-the-backing-track-and-only sporadically chime-in-routine on a few other songs for the rest of the night. When Juicy was actually rapping, he was pretty impressive. He got through a majority of his verses without screwing up and his hard-hitting party songs were even more fun in a live setting. However, what really made the show was the level of showmanship he displayed. Juicy J has been in the game for over two decades and that level of experience shows in his stage show. He's an extremely charismatic and hilarious dude (I could honestly write a lengthy follow-up piece containing all of the brilliant one-liners and anecdotes he dropped during the show) and was able to create and maintain an electric atmosphere in the room, despite being in a walking boot from his recent ankle surgery that limited his ability to move around on stage. Juicy J is a born entertainer and that quality masked almost all of the flaws with his performance. While Juicy J is hardly near the top of best live acts I've ever seen, the man knows how to on a fun show. With his alleged impending retirement from rapping on the horizon after the release of his next album Pure THC: The Hustle Continues, I'm glad I got to see this hip-hop icon perform before he hangs up the mic.

Side notes:
-Because of his ankle injury, Juicy had a number of stools and a king's throne complete with colored strobe set up at various spots of the stage so he could sit in-between songs.
-I did not witness any twerking at any point of the show.
-The amount of hipsters at the show was nothing short of shocking. If you looked at a majority of the crowd, you could've easily mistaken this for an indie folk or art pop show.


Score:
Juicy J 8/10

Setlist (missing 3-5 songs. Songs listed are in correct order.):
Throw Dem Racks
Stoners Night
Low
For Everybody
All I Need
So Much Money
I'm Sicka
Bandz a Make Her Dance
Already
She Knows (Ne-Yo song)
I Don't Mind (Usher song)
Show Out
Whole Thang
420 Freestyle (play off of Drake's "Energy")
Bounce It
Three 6 Mafia medley (Poppin' My Collar/Sippin' on Some Syrup/Stay Fly/Slob on My Knob)
We Still in this Bitch (B.o.B song)
Scholarship
Stop It
A Zip and a Double Cup
Workin' Hard
Don't Trust
Pulled Up (Young Dolph song)
Riley
Stoners Night Pt. 2

Concert Review: Lana Del Rey (Endless Summer Tour)-- Mansfield, MA-- June 9th, 2015

Fresh off a headlining set at the Governor's Ball music festival in New York City on Sunday, Lana Del Rey brought her "Endless Summer Tour" to the Xfinity Center in Mansfield, Massachusetts last night. Although the stage might have been a bit smaller than her previous show, Del Rey still put on a massive, memorable performance.

The show's opener, Canadian synthpop artist Grimes, was a few songs into her set when I got to my seats. Her last album, Visions, was obnoxious as all hell and her live show was just as, if not more grating than her studio material. Her vocals are so densely processed with electronic effects and her production is so repetitive and flat that makes every single minute of listening to her music is completely intolerable. It also cracks me up that her sound is so lifeless despite the fact that its heavily rooted in electronica. Even the worst electronic music typically has some passion and energy behind it, but Grimes lacks even a hint of either. I'm sure here music is perfect for really sad, low-energy raves, but in any other setting, it's just laughably bad. After this putrid performance, I can say without any doubt in my mind that I'll never voluntarily listen to or see Grimes live ever again.

Shortly after Grimes finished up, the sun finally set at the Xfinity Center, setting the perfect tone for the haunting darkness of Lana Del Rey's music. Going into the show, I'd heard all sorts of conflicting things about Del Rey's ability as a live performer. I'd read numerous reviews pointing out how visibly uncomfortable she is performing and ranting about she can't sing or hold notes live while others have hailed the quality of her voice and how well her vintage-inspired art/indie pop translates to big stages. Other than the sometimes spotty sound mix and way too loud backing tracks on the choruses of "Blue Jeans" and "West Coast", her performance at this show was pretty much flawless. The raw power of her vocals and low-key nature of her show made the nearly 20,000 capacity venue seem far more intimate than it actually was. Del Rey sounded absolutely amazing throughout her 75-minute set, displaying her wide vocal range and hitting just about every complex note with ease. Her set was further aided by a setlist that included almost all of the best material from her two most recent LP's Born to Die and Ultraviolence. There wasn't a single song on the night that wasn't excellent, but the more subdued, emotionally-charged songs ("Shades of Cool", "Summertime Sadness", "Video Games", "Cruel World") and the rousing, guitar-driven rendition of "Off to the Races" to finish off the set sent chills through my entire body. Any fans of Del Rey that have been skeptical about seeing her after hearing the mixed word-of-mouth about her live shows or watching her much-maligned Saturday Night Live performance from 2012 need to go and out see her the next chance they get. Lana Del Rey's live shows are every bit as immense and breathtakingly beautiful as her albums and can not be missed by anyone who has any sort of appreciation for her music.

Scores:
Grimes 2/10
Lana Del Rey 9/10

Side notes:
-If there was a world record for most short white girls with flowers in their hair at a concert, this show would easily have it.  
-The new song "Serial Killer" off her upcoming third LP Honeymoon sounded amazing and much more in-line with the trip-hop sound of Born to Die than the bluesy sound of Ultraviolence
-Lana smiled far more than I expected her too.
-Grimes sucks.

Setlists:
Grimes:
Circumambient 
Oblivion
REALiTi
Nightmusic
Be a Body
Go
Phone Sex
Symphonia IX (My Wait is U)
Genesis

Lana Del Rey:
Cruel World
Cola
Blue Jeans
West Coast
Born to Die
Ultraviolence 
Summertime Sadness
Chelsea Hotel No. 2 (Leonard Cohen cover)
Brooklyn Baby
Shades of Cool
Serial Killer (new song)
Video Games
Off to the Races

Quick Movie Reviews: Spy, Entourage and Mad Max: Fury Road

Spy: The third pairing of Paul Feig and Mellisa McCarthy is yet another success story for the comedic dream team. Feig shows a clear affection for spy films a la 007 and Mission Impossible and that love and knowledge of the genre allows to accurately skewer all of its tropes. McCarthy brings her usual manic comedic energy and top-flight talent to her role as Susan Cooper, a veteran FBI agent sent into the field for the first time to stop a Bulgarian crime kingpin (Rose Byrne, showing her hilarious work in Neighbors was no fluke) from selling a nuclear weapon to a similarly notorious American crime lord (Bobby Carnavale). Spy sputters a bit of the gate as it sets up its central conflict and develops Cooper as a character, but once Cooper sheds her nervousness about being in the field and the hardened British spy Rick Ford (Jason Statham, who run away with the movie by brilliantly skewering the overly macho archetype he's made a career off of playing) the fold, the jokes start landing and the film subsequently hit its stride. Spy doesn't have as many as belly laughs as Bridesmaids or The Heat, but it's a still rock-solid comedy that further solidifies McCarthy and Feig's standing as one of the most powerful actor/director combos in Hollywood.
3.5/5 Stars 

Entourage: It's been nearly four years since we last heard from Vince, Johnny Drama, Turtle, E and Ari. But as soon as Entourage starts, it feels like this colorful band of goons had never left your television. The Entourage film beautifully tows the line between being the perfect continuation for fans of the show and a fitting introduction for people who have never seen the HBO series the film is based on. The bond between the five leads (Adrian Grenier, Jerry Ferrara, Kevin Dillon, Kevin Connolly and cast MVP Jeremy Piven) is as authentic as ever and writer/director Doug Ellin is able to recover gracefully from the show's late season woes with a script full of great dialogue and laugh-out-loud gags. People that are easily offended and/or are bothered by a non-stop barrage of cameos and glorification of the celebrity lifestyle should steer clear, but anyone looking for a raunchy, engrossing and most importantly, fun as hell summer movie, look no further than Entourage.
4/5 Stars

Mad Max: Fury Road: After spending the last twenty years crafting long-forgotten kids films like Babe: Pig in the City and both Happy Feet films, Australian director George Miller has made his return to the post-apocalyptic action franchise that put him on the map in the late 70's/early 80's with Mad Max: Fury Road. The long-delayed fourth installment of the Mad Max series has largely been hailed as a masterpiece and one of the greatest, if not the greatest action film of all-time. To be frank, I just don't see it. The blueprint of a good action film is to have numerous great action scenes, likeable heroes that the audience can root for and a charismatic and/or menacing villain who serves as a formidable opponent for the film's protagonist. Mad Max: Fury Road has none of those things. The long-cut action scenes are too repetitive and cluttered to be memorable, the heroes are bland and one-dimensional,  the film's villain is beyond lame and worst of all, the film's is mind-numbingly corny without even an ounce of irony. If Miller had not taken this ridiculous world full of live-action cartoon characters so god damn seriously and thrown some variation into the action scenes, the results probably would've been much different. Not even the typically great Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron can get out of this film unscathed. Hardy mumbles his way through a wholly forgettable turn as the titular character while Theron lacks the grit required to make a battle-hardened character like Furiousa work. That being said, Hardy and Theron are awards-worthy compared to Hugh Keays-Byrne performance as the film's villain Immortan Joe. Keays-Byrne sound like a confused child every time he delivers a line and is firmly in the running for least menacing oppressive warlord in the history of cinema. The whole plot of the film hinges on how evil and ruthless Immortan Joe is and no matter how hard the film tries you to sell on that fact, Keays-Byrne's corny trainwreck of a performance prevents him from being even remotely imposing. The film's heavy use of practical effects and feminist agenda in the male-centric world of action films are worthy of praise, but it's not nearly enough to save Mad Max: Fury Road from being an underwhelming viewing experience. I'd be shocked if this doesn't end up being the most overrated film of 2015.
2/5 Stars

2015 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Outside Linebackers

50.Erik Walden (Colts)

49.Courtney Upshaw (Ravens)

48.Aaron Lynch (49ers) 

47.Dan Skuta (Jaguars)

46.Nick Perry (Packers)

45.Brooks Reed (Falcons)

44.Alec Ogletree (Rams)

43.Spencer Paysinger (Dolphins)

42.Akeem Ayers (Rams)

41.Chad Greenway (Vikings)

40.Jelani Jenkins (Dolphins)

39.Manny Lawson (Bills)

38.Ahmad Brooks (49ers)

37.Bruce Carter (Buccaneers) 

36.Quentin Coples (Jets)

35.Bruce Irvin (Seahawks)

34.Melvin Ingram (Chargers)

33.Jared Allen (Bears)

32.Brandon Graham (Eagles)

31.Trent Cole (Colts)

30.Brian Orakpo (Titans)

29.Telvin Smith (Jaguars)

28.K.J. Wright (Seahawks)

27.Vincent Rey (Bengals) 

26.Calvin Pace (Jets)

25.Pernell McPhee (Bears)

24.Anthony Barr (Vikings)

23.Sio Moore (Raiders)

22.Khalil Mack (Raiders) 

21.Julius Peppers (Packers)

20.Nigel Bradham (Bills) 

19.Whitney Mercilus (Texans)

18.Derrick Morgan (Titans)

17.Robert Mathis (Colts)

16.Don'ta Hightower (Patriots)

15.Junior Gallete (Saints)

14.Tamba Hali (Chiefs)

13.Vontaze Burfict (Bengals)

12.Jamie Collins (Patriots)

11.Elvis Dumervil (Ravens)

10.Connor Barwin (Eagles)

9.Aldon Smith (49ers)

8.Ryan Kerrigan (Redskins)

7.Thomas Davis (Panthers)

6.Terrell Suggs (Ravens)

5.Clay Matthews (Packers)

4.DeAndre Levy (Lions)

3.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)

2.Justin Houston (Chiefs)

1.Von Miller (Broncos)