Chiwetel Ejiofor Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Chiwetel Ejiofor-whose latest project "Venom: The Last Dance" is in theaters now. 

Chiwetel Ejiofor's Filmography Ranked:

19.Love Actually (D-)

18.The Lion King (D+)

17.Salt (C-)

16.Secret in their Eyes (C)

15.Infinite (C)

14.Locked Down (C)

13.Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (B-)

12.Serenity (B-)

11.Triple 9 (B)

10.Talk to Me (B)

9.12 Years a Slave (B)

8.Four Brothers (B)

7.Doctor Strange (B+)

6.Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (B+)

5.Children of Men (B+)

4.Inside Man (B+)

3.The Martian (B+)

2.The Old Guard (A-)

1.American Gangster (A-)

Top Dog: American Gangster (2007)

Nobody can claim American Gangster doesn't borrow heavily from many acclaimed gangster sagas that came before it, but it is a still damn fine, wildly entertaining film. Denzel Washington brings a whole lot of charisma and menace to his turn as prolific Harlem drug kingpin Frank Lucas while Russell Crowe's Det. Richie Roberts serves as the perfect foil for him as a hard-headed but honest cop whose obsession with bringing down Lucas leads to him assembling a secret task force full of similar noble loose cannon outlier in the deeply corrupt NYPD. Killer supporting turns from the likes of the late Ruby Dee as Lucas' mother, Ejiofor as Lucas' brother and Josh Brolin as corrupt detective Reno Trupo and some of the most energetic direction of Ridley Scott's storied career are the cherries on top of this old school gritty crime drama sundae.       

Bottom Feeder: Love Actually (2003)

It'll be the holiday season before we know it, which means the annual flood of Love Actually appreciation posts on social media are imminent. This is lowkey one of my least favorite times of the entire year since without fail, the deep contempt that I harbor for this saccharine sack of shit movie comes racing back into my veins like it never fucking left. Richard Curtis is the most insufferable cornball working in the film industry today and Love Actually is his Mona Lisa of relentlessly manipulative schmaltzy bullshit. Shoutout to Bill Nighy for being the only thing in this movie that doesn't make me want to vomit.   

Most Underrated: The Old Guard (2020)

I've talked about the Netflix Blockbuster Machine's many failures on here a lot over the past few years, so it's only fair that I take this opportunity to prop up one of its rare success stories. The Old Guard makes the most out of its premise of centuries-old noble warriors (Charlize Theron, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli, Matthias Schoenaerts) with regenerative healing abilities who pay the bills through mercenary work that has their well-established dynamic tested when they unexpectedly cross paths with a young woman (Kiki Layne) who shares their affliction by exploring each character's complicated relationship with mortality and delivering a host of electrifying action sequences. There's a sequel currently set to release next year that will probably fail to build upon the original since the great Gina Prince-Bythewood passed on directing this outing, but alas, the greatness of The Old Guard will remain regardless of how the follow-up turns out.         

Most Overrated: Love Actually (2003)

To briefly reiterate the vitriol from above, Love Actually is a film that I despise more than all but like 25-30 movies I've ever seen and its status as a holiday classic ensures that I'll be reminded about its wretched existence once a year.