Laura Dern Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Laura Dern-whose latest project "Is This Thing On?" releases in select theaters today and expands wide on January 9th. 

Laura Dern's Filmography Ranked:

21.Little Fockers (C)

20.When the Game Stands Tall (C)

19.The Master (C)

18.Smooth Talk (C)

17.JT Leroy (C)

16.Wild (C)

15.Wilson (C+)

14.Everything Must Go (B-)

13.The Founder (B-)

12.Jurassic Park III (B-)

11.Star Wars: The Last Jedi (B-)

10.Jurassic World Dominion (B)

9.The Fault in Our Stars (B)

8.99 Homes (B)

7.Jay Kelly (B)

6.Blue Velvet (B)

5.Little Women (B)

4.Caught Stealing (B+)

3.Cold Pursuit (B+)

2.Marriage Story (A)

1.Jurassic Park (A)

Top Dog: Jurassic Park (1993)

The teaser trailer for Steven Spielberg's latest blockbuster Disclosure Day dropped earlier this week and given that it marks a return to his sci-fi wheelhouse for the first time since 2018's Ready Player One, many people are very excited about it. While I'm not in that camp myself, the magic that Spielberg has conjured up in this space (no pun intended) is powerful enough to inspire hope that he'll be able to do it again. When it comes to the many big, wonderous spectacles that Spielberg has authored over the course of his lengthy career, Jurassic Park has been my favorite for a long time and will likely always remain that way. The way that he portrays the majesty and horror of modern-day humans interacting with dinosaurs is just so special and the inability to recapture that feeling in any of the subsequent films is a big reason why the quality of the sequels is so far below the original.  

Bottom Feeder: Little Fockers (2010)

The fact that another Meet the Parents movie is set to release next year doesn't really excite me given that Little Fockers proved that the franchise's cringe comedy routine had grown stale after three installments. There's only so much mileage you can get out of the premise of Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) navigating his prickly relationship with his intense, untrusting ex-CIA father-in-law Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro)  and unlike the solid sequel Meet the Fockers which mixed up the character dynamics with the introduction of Greg's hippie parents (Dustin Hoffman, Barbara Streisand), Little Fockers brings nothing new to the table outside of Jessica Alba as a horny pharmaceutical rep that repeatedly tries to seduce Greg-which is a recurring bit that doesn't start off particularly funny and grows more obnoxious with each run-through.  

Most Underrated: Cold Pursuit (2019)

I've yet to see In Order of Disappearance, so I can't compare the Norwegian original to the American remake. What I will say is that Cold Pursuit rules on its own. Hans Petter Moland-who also directed In Order of Disappearance-does a great job of turning a classic action revenge setup (an ordinary man goes to war with a drug cartel after they kill his son) on its head by taking it down a path that favors tongue-in-cheek dark comedy over massive shootouts. The hit rate on the gags is very high, and Liam Neeson is having a blast doing a more comedic riff on the type of stoic everyman action heroes he's been playing with regularity since Taken became a sensation. 

Most Overrated: The Master (2012)

Paul Thomas Anderson is somebody whose films have never really meshed with me. Unlike movies like Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood-which I haven't seen since my prefrontal cortex fully developed, I saw The Master for the first time back in March, so I can't chalk up my coldness towards it to being impatient or not understanding the content of the film. Despite reliably solid work from Joaquin Phoenix, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams, there just simply isn't anything all that interesting going on in the whole cult leader/vulnerable person who falls under their spell dynamic the film is centered around.