Movie Review: Apollo 18 (Film Number 40 In My Goal For 2011 Films)

If there was yet another case needed that the found-footage horror genre needs to die a horrible death (Paranormal Activity is already enough of a reason by itself), Apollo 18 provides more than enough evidence. This film is just flat-out repulsive. It is so fucking boring and ridiculous that I felt like sticking sharp objects in my eyes. Even at an incredibly short 86 minutes (the movie itself is only about 73 minutes, the end credit sequence is very long), it feels like it's over 3 hours in length. I found myself checking the time every couple of minutes and being incredibly disappointed at how little time had passed. Pretty much nothing happens and when something does happen, it's so dumb you can't help but laugh and shake your head at how any screenwriter could this was a good idea. When you find out "the reason we haven't been back to the moon" you can't help but laugh hysterically at how lame of a reveal it is (Spoiler Alert: It's rock aliens with spider legs. Yes, you read that correctly.) About the only thing that saves this film from the dreaded 0 star rating is the the way it's shot. The style was interesting and it captures the moon in an oddly pretty yet eerie way. Besides that, this an absolute pile of shit. It's not scary, It's not entertaining, It's just astonishingly stupid and dull. Please don't waste your time on this disaster of a film.

1/5 Stars  

Album Review: The Black Keys-El Camino

I wasn't really into The Black Keys for a while. I listened to Brothers earlier this year and it didn't really do anything for me. Earlier this month, they were the musical guest on Saturday Night Live and they sounded awesome live. I figured I would give them another chance, so I downloaded El Camino. El Camino successfully got The Black Keys to finally click with me.

El Camino is full of solid bluesy rock n' roll. Style-wise, this reminds me of a more blues-driven version of The White Stripes. The White Stripes comparisons don't end there, like The White Stripes, The Black Keys also have no shortage of catchy tracks and riffs. Album opener "Lonely Boy" has the best riff and hook of the album. It's a really upbeat and rocking tune that gets the album rolling with some great momentum right out of the gate. It's near impossible to not have that song stuck your head after listening to it. The momentum keeps rolling with the next track "Dead and Gone", which is another one of the album's standouts. The pace slows down a bit with "Gold On The Ceiling" and "Little Black Submarines", but the quality remains the same. The second half of the album doesn't match the quality of the first half. Some of the songs kind of drag and lack the flare that the first half of the album has. The weaker second half ultimately took away from some of my enjoyment of the album, but it's not enough to derail it completely.

El Camino converted be into The Black Keys fan. Blues/Rock combos are kind of hard to come by right now and The Black Keys do it well. There are plenty of catchy hooks and excellent riffs that make you want to keep coming back to it. The weaker second half definitely did take away from my enjoyment and prevented this record from getting a higher score. I am sure people who are bigger fans of the genre will enjoy this record a lot more than I did. I plan on revisiting their discography soon. If El Camino is any indication, I'm sure they have done plenty of quality work over the course of their career.
3.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Lonely Boy
2.Little Black Submarines
3.Dead and Gone

Quick Movie Reviews (Films Number 36-39 In My Goal For 2011 Films)

I've been busy over the past week with Christmas and catching up with my friends that are home from college. Also during that time, I saw 4 films towards my goal for 2011 films. Instead of giving them separate posts, I figured I would knock them all out in one post and not procrastinate in writing full posts about each of them. Without further ado, here the reviews.

Larry Crowne: Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts reteam in this bland romantic comedy/drama. This is the type of film you have seen a million times before (inspirational story about a guy who is down on his luck, but then he finds something that makes him feel better again) and it doesn't do anything to add any enjoyment to this familiar concept. Hanks and Roberts both do a fine job acting and that's about the only bright spot in this film. The rest is just extremely mediocre. Not terrible, but it's just so mind-numbingly average that it's not worth the watch.
2.5/5 Stars

Columbiana: You would think a great action writer like Luc Besson could do better than this? Despite a promising beginning, Columbiana soon becomes a subpar action flick that doesn't really go anywhere and takes a long time to do it. Zoe Saldana does a pretty good job in the lead. I would like to see her do more action flicks in the future, she definitely has the chops for it. The only thing that really pissed me off about this film was the ending. It could not have a worse ending if they had tried. Besides the solid beginning and awful ending, I am completely indifferent on Columbiana.
2.5/5 Stars

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes: After watching the two previously mentioned mediocre films, I was delighted that a film that I didn't want to see was actually very good. I didn't enjoy it quite as much as a lot of people did, but it's still a great film. Caesar, the ape, is one of the most compelling characters of 2011. You grow a strong emotional bond with the character throughout the film. Very well done by the writers humanizing an ape and making the audience sympathize for him. I wasn't a big fan of the last 25 minutes or so, but the rest of the film is very well-made so I can't complain too much. Great film and definitely wouldn't mind seeing more of this series. Kudos to Rupert Wyatt for reviving the Planet Of The Apes franchise.
4/5 Stars

Warrior: Holy shit, this was awesome. I didn't even come close to expecting how good this film would be. I am not a fan of UFC or MMA at all, but you don't need to be to enjoy this film. It's more a story about family and redemption, it just happens to involve MMA. It's brilliantly-acted by the entire cast, extremely compelling, deeply emotional, and incredibly entertaining (It's 2-hour plus runtime flys by). It's a shame that this was overlooked by audiences. I beg anyone who reads this to see this film if they haven't already. It's the epitome of a hidden gem film. It packs a serious punch (no pun intended) and is amongst the best films of 2011.
4.5/5 Stars

Bands Added to NEMHF 2012

Yesterday, there were a handful of lineup additions (link to the full lineup http://maitlandsmadness.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-england-metal-and-hardcore-festival.html) to the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival 14 (2012) lineup . Here are the lineup  additions for each day

Friday:
Carnifex
Gaza
Dead End Path

Saturday:
Goatwhore
Structures

Sunday:
The Air I Breathe
Glass Cloud

I'm stoked that Gaza and Goatwhore were added, both great bands. Structures are pretty decent as well. Carnifex and The Air I Breathe both suck and I have no comment on the other bands.

2011 In Music: A Year In Review

I can't believe 2011 is pretty much over. From a music standpoint, I am kind of sad to have it end. I listened to 92 (!) albums this year and over 70% of them received a 3.5 star rating or higher from me. That speaks volumes for how good the music was in 2011. This has been the best year for music of my entire lifetime. Being primarily a metalhead, I had a field day pretty much all year with quality release after quality release coming out. I discovered some brand new bands (Last Chance To Reason, Uneven Structure), I finally took the time to listen to some great bands that have been around for a while (Obscura, Septic Flesh) and some of my favorite bands released their best records to date (The Black Dahlia Murder, Revocation, Protest The Hero). The rest of the genres were not as good as metal, but they didn't really have to be with the exceptional quality of a lot of the metal release this year. Hoepfully 2012 can be even close to as good as 2011. Without further ado, here are my full-rankings for all of the EP's and LP's I heard this year with star ratings.

EP's
7.Childish Gambino-EP(1.5/5)
6.Whitechapel-Recorrupted (2.5/5)
5.Periphery-Icarus(3.5/5)
4.Within The Ruins-Omen(3.5/5)
3.Dying Fetus-History Repeats....(3.5/5)
2.Job For A Cowboy-Gloom(4/5)
1.Between The Buried and Me-The Parallax: Hypersleep Dialogues(4.5/5)

LP's
92.Metallica/Lou Reed-Lulu(0/5)
91.Emmure-Speaker Of The Dead(0/5)
90.The Crimson Armada-Conviction(1/5)
89.Incubus-If Not Now, When?(1.5/5)
88.Morbid Angel-Illuid Divinum Insanus(1.5/5)
87.Rings Of Saturn-Embryonic Anomaly(1.5/5)
86.Black Tide-Post Mortem(1.5/5)
85.Rise Against-Endgame(2/5)
84.Limp Bizkit-Gold Cobra(2/5)
83.Five Finger Death Punch-American Capitalist(2/5)
82.Devin Townsend Project-Ghost(2/5)
81.Suicide Silence-The Black Crown(2.5/5)
80.Dream Theater-A Dramatic Turn Of Events(2.5/5)
79.Jay-Z/Kanye West-Watch The Throne(2.5/5)
78.Red Hot Chili Peppers-I'm With You(2.5/5)
77.Winds Of Plague-Against The World(3/5)
76.Bury Your Dead-Mosh N' Roll(3/5)
75.Lazarus A.D-Black Rivers Flow(3/5)
74.Wu-Tang Clan-Legendary Weapons(3/5)
73.Harm's Way-Isolation(3/5)
72.Betraying The Martyrs-Breathe In Life(3/5)
71.Jedi Mind Tricks-Violence Begets Violence(3/5)
70.blink-182-Neighborhoods(3/5)
69.The Devil Wears Prada-Dead Throne(3/5)
68.In Flames-Sounds Of A Playground Fading(3/5)
67.Molotov Solution-Insurrection(3.5/5)
66.Toxic Holocaust-Conjure and Command(3.5/5)
65.Saviours-Death's Procession(3.5/5)
64.Jamey Jasta-Jasta(3.5/5)
63.Death Grips-Exmillitary (3.5/5)
62.Abysmal Dawn-Leveling The Plane Of Existence(3.5/5)
61.Alkaline Trio-Damnesia(3.5/5)
60.Title Fight-Shed(3.5/5)
59.This Is Hell-Black Mass(3.5/5)
58.Texas In July-One Reality(3.5/5)
57.Cave In-White Silence(3.5/5)
56.Primus-Green Nogalydte(3.5/5)
55.Tyler, The Creator-Goblin(3.5/5)
54.Vader-Welcome To The Morbid Reich(3.5/5)
53.Sepultura-Kairos(3.5/5)
52.Threat Signal-Threat Signal(3.5/5)
51.Devildriver-Beast(3.5/5)
50.Crowbar-Sever The Wicked Hand(3.5/5)
49.Touche Amore-Parting The Seas Between Brightness and Me(3.5/5)
48.TesseracT-One(3.5/5)
47.Megadeth-TH1RT3EN(3.5/5)
46.The Black Keys-El Camino(3.5/5)
45.Chimaira-The Age Of Hell(3.5/5)
44.Dropkick Murphys-Going Out In Style(3.5/5)
43.Hate Eternal-Phoenix Amongst The Ashes(4/5)
42.Becoming The Archetype-Celestial Completion(4/5)
41.Cannabis Corpse-Beneath Grow Lights Thou Shall Rise(4/5)
40.Scale The Summit-The Collective(4/5)
39.Amon Amarth-Surtur Rising(4/5)
38.Evan Brewer-Alone(4/5)
37.Uneven Structure-Februus(4/5)
36.Ulcerate-The Destroyers Of All (4/5)
35.Thomas Giles-Pulse(4/5)
34.Atmosphere-The Family Sign(4/5)
33.Anthrax-Worship Music(4/5)
32.Origin-Entity(4/5)
31.Arsonists Get All The Girls-Motherland(4/5)
30.Children Of Bodom-Relentless Reckless Forever(4/5)
29.Decapitated-Carnival Is Forever(4/5)
28.Havok-Time Is Up(4/5)
27.Textures-Dualism(4/5)
26.Warbringer-Worlds Torn Asunder(4/5)
25.The Human Abstract-Digital Veil(4/5)
24.Grieves-Together/Apart(4/5)
23.Animals As Leaders-Weightless(4/5)
22.Red Fang-Murder The Mountains(4/5)
21.Landmine Marathon-Gallows(4/5)
20.Septic Flesh-The Great Mass(4/5)
19.Beastie Boys-Hot Sauce Committee Part 2(4/5)
18.August Burns Red-Leveler(4/5)
17.Devin Townsend Project-Deconstruction(4/5)
16.Foo Fighters-Wasting Light(4/5)
15.Darkest Hour-The Human Romance(4/5)
14.Last Chance To Reason-Level 2(4/5)
13.Obscura-Omnivium(4/5)
12.Times Of Grace-The Hymn Of A Broken Man(4/5)
11.All Shall Perish-This Is Where It Ends(4/5)
10.Born Of Osiris-The Discovery(4.5/5)
9.Fleshgod Apocalypse-Agony(4.5/5)
8.Arch Enemy-Khaos Legions(4.5/5)
7.Skeletonwitch-Forever Abomination(4.5/5)
6.Machine Head-Unto The Locust(4.5/5)
5.Mastodon-The Hunter(4.5/5)
4.Unearth-Darkness In The Light(4.5/5)
3.Protest The Hero-Scurrilous(4.5/5)
2.Revocation-Chaos Of Forms(4.5/5)
1.The Black Dahlia Murder-Ritual (5/5)

Albums I didn't get the chance to check out before making this list, but plan to in the near future:
Russian Circles-Empros
Diamond Plate-Generation Why?
Fit For An Autopsy-The Process Of Human Extermination
Black Cobra-Interval
New Found Glory-Radiosurgery
Sylosis-Edge Of The Earth
YOB-Atma

Album I heard some of, but not enough to rank:
Trivium-In Waves
Volumes-Via
Structures-Divided By
Rotten Sound-Cursed

Album Review: Obscura-Omnivium

German tech-death juggernauts Obscura really didn't catch my attention until earlier this year. I had heard so many good things about this band that I just couldn't ignore them anymore. I am so fucking glad I finally checked them out, Omnivium is one of the best albums of 2011.

Omnivium is nothing short of a musical spectacle. Obscura's technical precision is off the charts. From the face-melting guitar solos to the insane blast beats to the godlike use of fretless bass, Omnivium will leave you in awe at how much talent Obscura has. Obscura is not only gifted technically, they are also great songwriters. There are many twists and turns in their music and they are able to transition seamlessly between calm progressive sections to crushing heaviness at the drop of a hat ( Album opener "Septuagint" is a prime example of this.) Omnivium is a lot more ambitious than their previous outing Cosmogenesis. The progressive elements are a lot more prominent this time around. The enhanced focus on the progressive side of their music has made Obscura a better band. Their music is more varied and better written than ever before. That's not to say that Obscura's music still isn't heavy, it's heavy as a motherfucker, it's just more progressive and refined than their previous material.

Omnivium is the crowning achievement of Obscura's career thus far. It's faster, better written, and more progressive than their previous work. This is a band that is becoming a force to be reckoned with. This is a must-listen for fans of progressive and technical death metal, you don't hear album this good in the genre very often. Omnivium is a lock for my year-end top 20.
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Septuagint
2.Celestial Spheres
3.Velocity 

Movie Review: Spy Kids: All The Time In The World (Film Number 35 In My Goal For 2011 Films)

I am going to make this short and sweet because there really isn't much to say about Spy Kids: All The Time In The World. It has the same problems the past couple kids films have had: it's too stupid and unfunny to work even as a kids film. Robert Rodriguez does not use his genius on kids films. It almost seems like he intentionally dumbs down his writing and just puts out kids films for the hell of it. This is no exception, the story is nothing short of mind-numbingly stupid. The one positive thing I can say about Spy Kids: All The Time In The World is that's an improvement over the past two Spy Kids films (which I hated even as a kid). This is a completely pointless sequel and bad film, Rodriguez should go back to his R-rated films and retire from family films permanently.

1.5/5 Stars