Movie Review: Studio 666

Honestly, the best part of Studio 666 is the fact that it was able to actually get made. As much name recognition and cache as the Foo Fighters still possess nearly 30 years into their run as a band, getting a studio to finance and theatrically release a schlocky supernatural horror comedy where they star as themselves in a story that centers around them moving into a haunted Los Angeles mansion to record their new album isn't an easy ask. The brass at indie-adjacent distributor Open Road Films ended being the generous individuals that were on board with putting out an homage to the Foos love of heavy metal music, old rock n'roll B-movies like Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park and being goofballs into the world and I'm thankful they did because who the hell knows if or when we'll see anything like this on a big screen again.

Could Studio 666 afford a tighter script/edit that cut down on the buildup to the final act splatter-meets-slasher frenzy and got rid of the lame 2nd ending that follows the much more coherent, organic feeling conclusion that preceded it? 100%, but the band's enthusiasm for the project and litany of vintage grindhouse-inspired death scenes are too strong to get overly down about its rough spots. This was drawn up to be nothing more than a low budget goof of a movie in which the band makes some dumb jokes (often at their own expense), composes/performs some new songs that mark a pretty big stylistic departure from what they typically make and eventually gets brutally murdered by some bloodthirsty demons. Since Studio 666 features all of those things and manages to be pretty fun in the process, it's safe to say that the mission was accomplished. 

Grade: B-

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The reboot of Texas Chainsaw Massacre made some headlines in the entertainment world back in August 2020 when the producers fired directors Ryan and Andy Tohill after the 1st week of shooting in Bulgaria, dumped every piece of footage they shot and tapped cinematographer by trade David Blue Garcia as a last second replacement. Replacing the director mid-shoot tends to be a tell-tale sign that a production isn't going to end in the birth of a quality on screen product and surprise surprise, Texas Chainsaw Massacre didn't buck that negative trend. 

What Garcia cobbled together from the ashes of the Tohill Brothers aborted vision is a scattershot, visibly rushed mess. In fact, the film is delivered in such a manic, abridged fashion that it doesn't even feel like they were able to shoot the entire script. Everything from the commentary on gentrification to the subplot surrounding sole survivor of the 1974 original Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouere stepping in for the late Marilyn Burns) returning to Harlow to finally extract revenge against Leatherface for killing her friends 50 years earlier to the actual murder scenes all kind of just happen with no buildup, development or real direction. What's on display here is little more than 80 minutes of undeveloped, charisma-free characters dying brutal deaths and forced callbacks to the original with no cohesion or weight behind them and that's exactly the kind of lazy shit you'd expect from what is effectively the movie equivalent of somebody doing the duration of their school project an hour before it was due. There are some endearing moments on account of its largely practical gore effects that don't skimp on the nasty details, quietly breathtaking cinematography from Ricardo Diaz and absurd ending that is so abrupt and unexpected that it's kind of weirdly genius, but none of these little victories are enough to save Texas Chainsaw Massacre from being another poorly executed effort in an increasingly crappy slasher franchise. 

Grade: C-

Will Forte Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives and accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Will Forte-whose latest project "Studio 666" opens in theaters tomorrow.

Will Forte's Filmography Ranked:

19.Baby Mama (B-)

18.Life of Crime (B-)

17.The Watch (B-)

16.Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics (B-) 

15.A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (B)

14.Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (B)

13.The Brothers Solomon (B)

12.Fanboys (B)

11.A Futile and Stupid Gesture (B)

10.The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (B)

9.Beerfest (B)

8.That's My Boy (B+)

7.Nebraska (B+)

6.The Lego Movie (B+)

5.Good Boys (A-)

4.Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (A-)

3.Keanu (A-)

2.Booksmart (A-)

1.MacGruber (A-)

Top Dog: MacGruber (2010)

MacGruber remaining Forte's crowning achievement nearly 12 years after its release just makes too much sense. Not only is it an incredibly funny, highly rewatchable goof on 80's action movies, it's a project/role that perfectly utilizes his manic comedic gifts and surrounds him with people (Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillipe, Maya Rudolph, Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe) that do an excellent job of playing off the relentless energy he brings to every scene he appears in.  

Lowlight: Baby Mama (2008)

Although it's likely due to a combination of my enjoyment of silly comedies and not seeing a few of the more poorly received projects he's appeared in (Rock of Ages, Scoob!, Don Verdean), it's pretty impressive that a decent comedy that's primary sin is not fully utilizing the talents of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey is my least favorite Forte movie. Not too many actors have a filmography that is dud-free in my book, so congrats Will for receiving this completely useless deceleration.     

Most Underrated: Keanu (2016)

The likely final ever on-camera live action collaboration between Keegan Michael-Key and Jordan Peele is a delightful little whacked-out gem of a buddy comedy that has hilarious performers (Key, Peele, Forte, Method Man, Tiffany Haddish) sprinkled throughout its ensemble and some surprisingly strong action sequences.   

Most Overrated: Beerfest (2006)

Describing Beerfest as overrated feels pretty ridiculous, but this movie was discussed and quoted to such an insane degree during my first couple years of high school that I've always viewed it that way. To be fair, Beerfest is an amusing effort from the Broken Lizard crew and a notable improvement over their previous film Club Dread. However, it's way more hit or miss than Super Troopers and there were a handful of movies released that same year (Borat, Clerks II, Grandma's Boy, Talladega Nights, Accepted, Jackass: Number Two) that I find to be significantly funnier.     

Best Use of Forte's Comedic Gifts in a Small Role: Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012)

In just a few scenes worth of screentime, Forte manages to be the single best thing about the unsung absurdist comedy classic Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie. His turn as a short-tempered sword shop owner is some of his finest gonzo madman work to date and the perfect showcase for the incredible timing, delivery and commitment to selling silliness that has made him a legend in this particular subgenre of comedy.    

Best Post-90's Adam Sandler Comedy Outside of The Longest Yard: That's My Boy (2012)

While Sandler has proved himself as an elite dramatic actor over the past 2 decades, the bulk of the comedy movies that he's released from 2000 through the present day haven't been particularly good. One of the few times that he got it right came in what might be the most polarizing film in his entire catalog. That's My Boy is a huge departure in terms of tone and content as it's an R-rated comedy in which Sandler plays an absolutely vile jackass of a character and that change in delivery is a crucial part of its success. Going to vulgar, morally dubious extremes with the jokes and content of its story while also harkening back to the wall-to-wall silliness that made his 90's movies work so well gives That's My Boy a winning combination of uncharted territory and comforting familiarity that results in a steady stream of laughs.  

2021-22 NBA Midseason Awards

Top Player: Joel Embiid (76ers)

Adding James Harden to the mix will almost certainly kill Embiid's bid to be the season-league MVP, but it's hard to dismiss what he did in the 1st half of the season. Garnering more defensive attention than ever before with the voluntary absence of Ben Simmons, Embiid not only upped his game (29.5 PPG, 49.5 FG%, 36.9 3P%, 81.3 FT%, 11.2 RPG, 4.5 APG, 1.4 BPG, 1.0 SPG) but provided more opportunities for young players like Tyrese Maxey, Mattias Thybulle, Furkan Korkmaz and Shake Milton to assert themselves-which subsequently made the 76ers a deeper, more balanced team than they were over the past few years when Simmons was on the floor. 

Honorable Mentions: Steph Curry (Warriors), Demar DeRozan (Bulls), Giannis Antetokounmpo (Bucks)

Top Defensive Player: Jaren Jackson Jr. (Grizzlies)

While Jackson's shooting stroke hasn't fully come back since returning from a torn meniscus that cost him nearly all of the 2020-21 season, he's made up for it by solidifying himself as the Grizzlies defensive anchor. The versatile big man is currently averaging a career-high 2.2 blocks, posting 1.0 steal per game for the 1st time in a non-injury shortened season and has greatly improved as an on-ball defender away from the rim.  

Honorable Mentions: Robert Williams (Celtics), Rudy Gobert (Jazz), Dejounte Murray (Spurs)

Most Improved: Darius Garland (Cavaliers) 

There was some debate last season as to whether Garland's increases in statistical output were due to him actually improving as a player or simply a result of stat-padding from playing on a terrible team that routinely found themselves in non-competitive game situations. Since Garland is now an All-Star point guard on a legitimately good team, that debate has died a swift death. The 3rd year pro has been exceptional this season-averaging career highs in field goal percentage (47.7%), points (20.3) and assists (8.0) per game. Perhaps most impressively, he's done all this while being tasked with serving as the team's top scorer and facilitator and playing with 3 different starters alongside him in the backcourt (Collin Sexton, Ricky Rubio, Caris LaVert) since Opening Night in October.  

Honorable Mentions: Miles Bridges (Hornets), Desmond Bane (Grizzlies), Anfernee Simons (Trail Blazars)  

Top 6th Man: Tyler Herro (Heat)

The humbling disappointment of his 2020-21 campaign following his exceptional play in the 2020 Playoff Bubble seemed to be the best thing to happen to Herro. In year 3, Herro has accepted his role as the Heat's 6th man and really thrived in it by averaging 20 points while shooting 37.4% from deep on a career-high 6.7 attempts per game.

Honorable Mentions: Kelly Oubre Jr. (Hornets), Kevin Love (Cavaliers), Jordan Clarkson (Jazz) 

Top Rookie: Evan Mobley (Cavaliers)

Allowing Mobley to slip to the 3rd pick is something the Pistons and Rockets might end up spending the next 15 years regretting. Putting an imposing 7-foot athletic freak who can stretch the floor and swat shots at an elite level alongside a more traditional center in Jarrett Allen have given the Cavs a very dynamic big man pairing that is incredibly hard to match up against on both ends of the floor and that pairing has been instrumental to the Cavs shocking climb into the Eastern Conference playoff picture.

Honorable Mentions: Josh Giddey (Thunder), Scottie Barnes (Raptors), Cade Cunningham (Pistons)

Top Coach: Taylor Jenkins (Grizzlies) 

Everything seems to be finally coming together for the Grizzlies this season after back-to-back disappointing play-in tournament exits and Jenkins is a huge reason why this team has shot to the top tier of the Western Conference. From the increased defensive buy-in to the handling of the rotations to the near universal improvement of the roster headlined by star point guard Ja Morant blossoming into a top 15 player in the league, Jenkins has done an incredible job of shaping a cohesive, well-balanced team that can compete with any team in the league on any given night.

Honorable Mentions: Billy Donovan (Bulls), J.B. Bickerstaff (Cavaliers), Steve Kerr (Warriors)

Movie Review: Uncharted

Through a combination of the creatives showing up and performing their duties admirably and simply existing, Uncharted manages to confirm some things that a majority of the general public, movie nerds and/or fans of the game already knew. 1: That Tom Holland guy is indeed a certified movie star in or outside of the Spider-Man suit. 2: Mark Wahlberg can play a cocky, sarcastic, but ultimately likeable asshole character pretty well. 3: Cinematographer Chung hoon-Chung (Last Night in Soho, It) has a really incredible knack for framing and capturing dazzling images. 4: Bringing Uncharted from PlayStation consoles to cinema screens just confirms that it's a B-grade Indiana Jones for a generation of people who probably aren't familiar with the iconic adventure franchise.

Does Ruben Fleischer's (Venom, both entries in the Zombieland series) film have a few tricks up its sleeves? Certainly. The big setpieces seamlessly recreate the aesthetic of a freewheeling video game where the player is frantically trying to use their wits to solve a problem or stay alive in a hostile environment, there's a major treasure hunting sequence that prominently features the name/logo of a brand that I never expected in a million years to have the capital to buy their way into a $100 million+ movie and Sophia Ali's take on an Australian accent is so strange that it took me until a few hours after I got out of the movie to realize that she was even doing an Australian accent. 

These few moments of inspiration and endearing confusion ultimately aren't enough to shake the overarching feeling that this is anything more than just a safe, competent project. While it's never boring and doesn't have any really debilitating deficiencies, the amount of kinetic energy, entertainment value and magnetic characters present in Uncharted pales in comparison to the really great adventure films (Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Mummy) that it's lifted its entire playbook from. Can this issue be resolved in the next installment of the franchise that's almost certainly happening now that the film has gotten off to a strong start at the box office? Absolutely, but breaking its stock blockbuster mold is going to require a lot more imagination and passion on the page and behind the camera and that may prove to be too big of an obstacle for something that's so deeply beholden to the formula of superior movies to overcome.      

Grade: B-

Channing Tatum Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"- a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted relevant superlatives and accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Channing Tatum-whose latest project "Dog" arrives in theaters tonight. 

Channing Tatum's Filmography Ranked:

26.Jupiter Ascending (F)

25.Havoc (D+)

24.The Dilemma (D+)

23.Haywire (D+)

22.Hail, Caesar! (C-)

21.The Eagle (C) 

20.Step Up (C+)

19.Don Jon (C+)

18.Public Enemies (B-)

17.G.I. Joe: Retaliation (B) 

16.G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (B)

15.Stop-Loss (B)

14.The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (B)

13.White House Down (B)

12.The Lego Batman Movie (B)

11.Logan Lucky (B)

10.Magic Mike (B)

9.Side Effects (B)

8.Foxcatcher (B)

7.Magic Mike XXL (B)

6.Kingsman: The Golden Circle (B+)

5.The Lego Movie (B+)

4.Coach Carter (A-)

3.The Hateful Eight (A)

2.21 Jump Street (A)

1.22 Jump Street (A)

Top Dog: 22 Jump Street (2014)

21 Jump Street is a silly, subversive and consistently hilarious takedown of the entertainment industry's reboot culture that easily ranks among the funniest movies of the 2010's. 22 Jump Street adjusts its aim to sequels and somehow manages to be even better. Tatum and Jonah Hill's buddy dynamic remains a comedic grand slam, the new characters played by Jillian Bell, Wyatt Russell, Amber Stevens and Peter Stromare are all terrific fits within this snarky, charismatic ensemble and the clever meta commentary leads to huge laughs throughout.    

Lowlight: Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Given the big swings the Wachowskis have made a career taking, it was only a matter of time before one of their projects failed spectacularly. Jupiter Ascending-which sadly could prove to be the sibling's final collaborative film project as Lana directed The Matrix Resurrections by herself-ended up being that crash and burn disaster. With its nonsensical, convoluted story, a cast that seems like they're either sedated (Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean) or hopped up on several kilos of cocaine (Eddie Redmayne) and brutally slow pacing, Jupiter Ascending is an aimless mess that was excruciating to sit through.  

Most Overrated: Hail, Caesar! (2016)

The Coen Brothers followed up their most underrated triumph in Inside Llewyn Davis with one of their most overrated whiffs in Hail, Caesar! This comedy that alternates between being a love letter to and satire of early 50's Hollywood falls into the dreaded no man's land of not being conventionally funny enough to work as the former and lacking the bite to succeed as the latter.

Most Underrated: Magic Mike XXL (2015)

The possibility of producing a sequel was probably the last thing Tatum, Steven Soderbergh or anyone else involved with Magic Mike had on their minds when they made the bittersweet 2012 character drama that was loosely based on Tatum's experiences as a stripper. The only thing more surprising than a follow-up occurring was the approach they utilized for it. Magic Mike XXL makes the bold pivot from understated drama to full-blown road trip party comedy that celebrates male friendship, treating women with respect and the power of overcoming adversity in equal measure. While it doesn't have the same weight or conflict that the original had, the sheer amount of warmth, positivity and energy on display make it a better overall movie. 

Quick Movie Reviews: Moonfall, I Want You Back, Kimi

 Moonfall: It wasn't too long ago that German director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) could be relied upon to make sweeping blockbusters that were exceptionally stupid and very entertaining. His signature skills started to fade away with the poor Independence Day follow-up Resurgence back in 2016 and almost 6 years later, the ungodly awful Moonfall appears to have permanently laid them to rest. 

The ingredients for another successful Emmerich disaster pic are all right in front of him: Earth is facing a potential extinction at the hands of its own moon when it's unexpectedly knocked out of orbit and the explanation as to why gets crazier and crazier as the trio of astronauts (Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley) sent to investigate the phenomenon start to get answers. But time seems to have stripped Emmerich of the enthusiasm and feel he once had for preparing his signature dish. The endless idiocy that makes up Moonfall is delivered in such a joyless manner that it eliminates even the slightest chance of something fun occurring. Moonfall's ability to turn plot developments that are so crazy that it's hard to believe that they even appear in a real movie into the driest, dullest shit imaginable is a terrible magic trick that should've never happened in a million years under the guidance of a director that has plenty of experience of turning gleeful stupidity into irresistible entertainment. Emmerich missed an open goal by 100 miles with Moonfall and the staggering ineptitude on display throughout marks a really sad fall from grace for one of the greatest architects of big, trashy entertainment that Hollywood has seen over the past 30 years.            

Grade: D-

I Want You Back: As a streaming romantic comedy that was purposely released at a time where it could capitalize on the boom the genre inevitably receives on and around Valentine's Day, I Want You Back gets the job done. It's a pleasant, undemanding watch that is relatively funny, naturally sweet without being too corny and boasts a great lead pairing in Charlie Day and Jenny Slate who skillfully navigate both sides of the genre coin. Unflashy, competent romcoms could become a nice little tradition during this not overly riveting portion of the release calendar, so hopefully some respectable writers/directors and appealing actors with comedic chops and solid chemistry can come through and make that happen.      

Grade: B

KIMI: Unlike Steven Soderbergh's previous foray into the thriller genre (the dull and convoluted Unsane), KIMI is an energetic, paranoia-filled tale that makes the most of its contained settings and sub-90-minute runtime. Zoe Kravitz turns in a great performance as an agoraphobic tech worker who is forced to venture outside the walls of her Seattle apartment after she stumbles upon a violent crime on an audio stream she was tasked with reviewing and Soderbergh is able to effectively heighten the tension by deploying wobbly camerawork that mirrors the visible anxiety Kravitz's character is experiencing in these situations and a pulsating score from Cliff Martinez during most of the key sequences. A pretty silly final act that isn't really tonally in line with what comes before it and the half-assed attempts to provide commentary on the invasive security practices of big tech companies take away from some of the fun, but even with those shaky elements, KIMI still manages to be Soderbergh's best effort since Logan Lucky by a pretty comfortable margin.        

Grade: B