On this episode, Feliciano and I return to the world of hip-hop talk with discussions about Denzel Curry's fiery cover of Rage Against the Machine's "Bulls on Parade", J. Cole's "Middle Child" music video, the return of Freddie Gibbs & Madlib and Lil Pump's long-awaited Harverd Dropout LP. This lovely 50 minutes dose of aimless babbling can be streamed in either audio or video format below.
Soundcloud:
YouTube:
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/as-we-proceed/id1122163104?mt=2
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
The Best and Worst of Chloe Grace Moretz
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “Greta” star Chloe Grace Moretz.
Films starring Chloe Grace Moretz that I've seen:
Big Momma's House 2
(500) Days of Summer
Kick-Ass
Let Me In
Hugo
Movie 43
Kick-Ass 2
The Equalizer
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising
The Miseducation of Cameron Post
Suspiria
Best Performance: Kick-Ass (2010)
While Moretz has turned in more nuanced performances (Let Me In, The Miseducation of Cameron Post) that showcase her underrated range as an actor, her turn as a foul-mouthed preteen crimefighter Hit-Girl still resonates with me more. With her vulgar quips, unwavering fearlessness and gift for disposing of bad guys in the most gruesome ways imaginable, Hit-Girl serves as the badass centerpiece of Matthew Vaughn's brutal superhero tale.
Worst Performance: The Equalizer (2014)
Pretty much every actor besides Denzel Washington that was involved with The Equalizer got bogged down by its dreary, overly serious tone. Moretz was no exception. She's borderline comatose as a teenager forced into prostitution by Russian mobsters who forms a bond with Washington's character at a diner and later needs his particular set of skills to seek revenge on her abusive pimp.
Best Film: Kick-Ass (2010)
Layer Cake proved Matthew Vaughn could mimic the beats of a slick British crime saga (a la his friend and mentor Guy Ritchie) brilliantly. Kick-Ass marked the point where he established his own identity as a filmmaker who turns popular subgenres (in this case, superhero movies) on their heads with a heaping helping of sick humor and over-the-top violence. Vaughn's deft touch with the frantic, gory action scenes and dark comedy undertones paired with a tremendous cast (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Moretz, Nicolas Cage, Mark Strong) that fully buys into this insane material makes this a nihilistic masterpiece.
Worst Film: Movie 43 (2013)
After a nearly 18-month absence, this notorious anthology comedy has (sadly) come creeping back into this series. Movie 43 soils the good reputation of its ensemble cast and sophomoric humor with 95 minutes of janky jokes that hit about as much as Ben Simmons does from beyond the 3-point line.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Captain Marvel” star Djimon Honsou.
Films starring Chloe Grace Moretz that I've seen:
Big Momma's House 2
(500) Days of Summer
Kick-Ass
Let Me In
Hugo
Movie 43
Kick-Ass 2
The Equalizer
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising
The Miseducation of Cameron Post
Suspiria
Best Performance: Kick-Ass (2010)
While Moretz has turned in more nuanced performances (Let Me In, The Miseducation of Cameron Post) that showcase her underrated range as an actor, her turn as a foul-mouthed preteen crimefighter Hit-Girl still resonates with me more. With her vulgar quips, unwavering fearlessness and gift for disposing of bad guys in the most gruesome ways imaginable, Hit-Girl serves as the badass centerpiece of Matthew Vaughn's brutal superhero tale.
Worst Performance: The Equalizer (2014)
Pretty much every actor besides Denzel Washington that was involved with The Equalizer got bogged down by its dreary, overly serious tone. Moretz was no exception. She's borderline comatose as a teenager forced into prostitution by Russian mobsters who forms a bond with Washington's character at a diner and later needs his particular set of skills to seek revenge on her abusive pimp.
Best Film: Kick-Ass (2010)
Layer Cake proved Matthew Vaughn could mimic the beats of a slick British crime saga (a la his friend and mentor Guy Ritchie) brilliantly. Kick-Ass marked the point where he established his own identity as a filmmaker who turns popular subgenres (in this case, superhero movies) on their heads with a heaping helping of sick humor and over-the-top violence. Vaughn's deft touch with the frantic, gory action scenes and dark comedy undertones paired with a tremendous cast (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Moretz, Nicolas Cage, Mark Strong) that fully buys into this insane material makes this a nihilistic masterpiece.
Worst Film: Movie 43 (2013)
After a nearly 18-month absence, this notorious anthology comedy has (sadly) come creeping back into this series. Movie 43 soils the good reputation of its ensemble cast and sophomoric humor with 95 minutes of janky jokes that hit about as much as Ben Simmons does from beyond the 3-point line.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Captain Marvel” star Djimon Honsou.
Monday, February 25, 2019
Quick Movie Reviews: The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, Happy Death Day 2U, Alita: Battle Angel, Fighting with My Family
The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part: Watching The Lego Movie 2 was akin to experiencing Deja vu. From the abundance weird pop culture references that will fly over at least 95% of kids heads, vibrant musical numbers and overarching message preaching the importance of playing well with others, it's pretty much the exact same movie as its predecessor. Despite being a blatant retread and slightly inferior overall product, it's still a funny, irreverent and charming ride that is more unique than most of the other animated movies that are released every year.
Grade: B
Happy Death Day 2U: Happy Death Day cleverly utilized the time loop concept to make a darkly comedic slasher flick that was among the more entertaining horror movies released in the past few years. The sequel wisely elevates the stakes and distinguishes itself from the original by going full sci-fi with a narrative that ties up a lot of the loose ends of the first one while introducing a whole new set of rules for this weird little universe. Pivoting to a more sci-fi-centric plot unsurprisingly makes things more convoluted and take away from a bit of the tongue-in-cheek fun that made the previous installment work so well, but the sheer magnetism of star Jessica Rothe-who deserves to get more high-profile roles ASAP, a surprisingly heartfelt emotional subtext about how dealing with tragedies can make you a stronger person and some very funny gags/one-liners keep things engaging throughout. As long as writer/director Christopher B. Landon and Rothe were involved, I'd be down for a third installment (especially if they built around the development they teased during the mid-credits scene).
Grade: B
Alita: Battle Angel: If James Cameron didn't have a hand in writing this, this probably would've been great. Rosa Salazar is perfect as the title character who has the endless curiosity of a child and fearless spirit of a seasoned warrior, and director Robert Rodriguez handless every massive action sequence with grace. Of course, Cornball Cameron's manages to kill the vibe with an overstuffed script that attempts to jam about 10 comic books worth of material into 2 hours and shoehorns in a cringey romantic subplot that further elevates its lack of cohesiveness as it reaches its underwhelming conclusion. Hopefully those 62 upcoming Avatar sequels keep Cameron busy for the rest of his career because I'm sick of this dude popping in and fucking up potentially awesome projects with his unfocused, overly sentimental storytelling.
Grade: B-
Fighting with My Family: For better or worse, Stephen Merchant's biopic about Saraya "Paige" Beavis (Florence Pugh) road from wrestling in her family's DIY company in Norwich, England to the WWE offers up no surprises. This is an efficient, well-acted inspirational underdog sports story that hits all of its intended feel-good beats without ever being funny or heartfelt enough to transcend the genre's established playbook. If you love wrestling or are in the market for a nice movie that won't have you feeling like shit when you leave the theater, you'll likely have a good time. If not, there's no reason to rush out and see it.
Grade: B
Fighting with My Family: For better or worse, Stephen Merchant's biopic about Saraya "Paige" Beavis (Florence Pugh) road from wrestling in her family's DIY company in Norwich, England to the WWE offers up no surprises. This is an efficient, well-acted inspirational underdog sports story that hits all of its intended feel-good beats without ever being funny or heartfelt enough to transcend the genre's established playbook. If you love wrestling or are in the market for a nice movie that won't have you feeling like shit when you leave the theater, you'll likely have a good time. If not, there's no reason to rush out and see it.
Grade: B
Friday, February 22, 2019
91st Annual Academy Award Predictions
With no host and the nixing of several proposed creative decisions (introducing a Best Popular Film category, having less than half of the Best Original Song nominees perform during the ceremony, announcing a handful of awards during commercial breaks) after significant outcry from people in the industry as well as the general public, the leadup to the 91st Annual Academy Awards has been uncharacteristically rocky. This general strangeness ahead of the ceremony has also carried over to the award races, which are as frontrunner-free as the Oscars can possibly be. Here are the films and individuals I expect to emerge from this silly little slice of (potential) Hollywood chaos with gold statues on Sunday night.
Best Picture:
Nominees:
BlacKkKlansman
Black Panther
Bohemian Rhapsody
The Favourite
Green Book
Roma
A Star is Born
Vice
And the Winner is...: Roma
Part of me thinks the Academy is going to try and pander to the general audience they feel they've lost in recent years by giving Best Picture to a crowdpleaser like Green Book or Bohemian Rhapsody. That being said, I'm far too timid to pick against Roma at this point. Yes it's a Spanish-language Netflix production that has polarized audiences and enraged some of the industry's dinosaurs who don't believe streaming service titles should be eligible for film awards because average people can watch them in their living rooms, but it was also arguably the best-reviewed movie of the year and has been widely championed by the non-dinosaur portion of the voting group.
Best Actor:
Nominees:
Christian Bale (Vice)
Bradley Cooper (A Star is Born)
Willem Dafoe (At Eternity's Gate)
Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody)
Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)
And the Winner is....: Christian Bale
Oddsmakers have minted Malek as the favorite after his BAFTA and SAG wins, but I still like Bale here. Bale's transformation into the quietly maniacal Chaney is staggering even by his lofty standards and the batshit insane lengths he went to prepare for the role should help earn him an edge over Malek's less demanding turn as Freddie Mercury.
Best Actress:
Nominees:
Yalitza Aparicio (Roma)
Glenn Close (The Wife)
Olivia Colman (The Favourite)
Lady Gaga (A Star is Born)
Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)
And the Winner is...: Glenn Close
To be completely honest, I think everyone besides McCarthy has a legit shot of winning here. Close, Colman and Gaga each have at least one major award win for their roles and Aparicio is a first time actor who serves as the anchor for the Best Picture favorite. Ultimately, I think it'll be Close coming out on top in this ultracompetitive field. The Academy tends to hand out at least one award to a widely respected actor whose never won before and since she has the most noms (6 prior to this one) without a win of any individual nominated, she seems very likely to be that lucky soul this year (sorry Amy Adams, your time will come eventually).
Best Supporting Actor:
Nominees:
Mahershala Ali (Green Book)
Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman)
Sam Elliott (A Star is Born)
Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)
Sam Rockwell (Vice)
And the Winner is...: Mahershala Ali
This is the only award in this weird year that I would feel completely comfortable betting on. Ali is the only actor that has swept the major ceremonies up to this point and it would take a large contingent of previously silent anti-Green Book voters for him to not end up with his second Oscar in the last three years.
Best Supporting Actress:
Nominees:
Amy Adams (Vice)
Marina de Tavria (Roma)
Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk)
Emma Stone (The Favourite)
Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)
And the Winner is...: Regina King
King's status as a lock has faded thanks to Rachel's Weisz's BAFTA win and the lack of a nomination at the SAG Awards. Despite the certainty of her winning going down a bit in recent weeks, King has still picked up more accolades than the rest of the field combined coming into Oscar night and boasts the distinction of being the only person in this category that has been widely pegged as the MVP of the movie they starred in. Plus after surprisingly snubbing it for Best Picture, the Academy probably feels like they owe If Beale Street Could Talk an award or two.
Best Director:
Nominees:
Alfonso Cuaron (Roma)
Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman)
Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite)
Adam McKay (Vice)
Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)
And the Winner is...: Alfonso Cuaron
Best Director tends to celebrate flashiness more than any other award and no one dazzled more industry folks with their visual flare, shot selection and overall craft in 2018 than Cuaron. The look and feel of Roma is a large part of why its been so acclaimed, which makes Cuaron a near-lock to add yet another Oscar to his crowded trophy case.
Other Predictions:
Best Original Screenplay: The Favourite
Best Adapted Screenplay: BlacKkKlansman
Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Best Foreign Language Film: Roma
Best Documentary Feature: Free Solo
Best Cinematography: Roma
Best Original Score: Black Panther
Best Original Song: "Shallow" (A Star is Born)
Best Film Editing: Vice
Best Costume Design: The Favourite
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Vice
Best Production Design: The Favourite
Best Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody
Best Sound Mixing: Bohemian Rhapsody
Best Visual Effects: First Man
Best Live Action Short Film: Marguerite
Best Animated Short Film: Weekends
Best Documentary-Short Subject: Black Sheep
Best Picture:
Nominees:
BlacKkKlansman
Black Panther
Bohemian Rhapsody
The Favourite
Green Book
Roma
A Star is Born
Vice
And the Winner is...: Roma
Part of me thinks the Academy is going to try and pander to the general audience they feel they've lost in recent years by giving Best Picture to a crowdpleaser like Green Book or Bohemian Rhapsody. That being said, I'm far too timid to pick against Roma at this point. Yes it's a Spanish-language Netflix production that has polarized audiences and enraged some of the industry's dinosaurs who don't believe streaming service titles should be eligible for film awards because average people can watch them in their living rooms, but it was also arguably the best-reviewed movie of the year and has been widely championed by the non-dinosaur portion of the voting group.
Best Actor:
Nominees:
Christian Bale (Vice)
Bradley Cooper (A Star is Born)
Willem Dafoe (At Eternity's Gate)
Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody)
Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)
And the Winner is....: Christian Bale
Oddsmakers have minted Malek as the favorite after his BAFTA and SAG wins, but I still like Bale here. Bale's transformation into the quietly maniacal Chaney is staggering even by his lofty standards and the batshit insane lengths he went to prepare for the role should help earn him an edge over Malek's less demanding turn as Freddie Mercury.
Best Actress:
Nominees:
Yalitza Aparicio (Roma)
Glenn Close (The Wife)
Olivia Colman (The Favourite)
Lady Gaga (A Star is Born)
Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)
And the Winner is...: Glenn Close
To be completely honest, I think everyone besides McCarthy has a legit shot of winning here. Close, Colman and Gaga each have at least one major award win for their roles and Aparicio is a first time actor who serves as the anchor for the Best Picture favorite. Ultimately, I think it'll be Close coming out on top in this ultracompetitive field. The Academy tends to hand out at least one award to a widely respected actor whose never won before and since she has the most noms (6 prior to this one) without a win of any individual nominated, she seems very likely to be that lucky soul this year (sorry Amy Adams, your time will come eventually).
Best Supporting Actor:
Nominees:
Mahershala Ali (Green Book)
Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman)
Sam Elliott (A Star is Born)
Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)
Sam Rockwell (Vice)
And the Winner is...: Mahershala Ali
This is the only award in this weird year that I would feel completely comfortable betting on. Ali is the only actor that has swept the major ceremonies up to this point and it would take a large contingent of previously silent anti-Green Book voters for him to not end up with his second Oscar in the last three years.
Best Supporting Actress:
Nominees:
Amy Adams (Vice)
Marina de Tavria (Roma)
Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk)
Emma Stone (The Favourite)
Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)
And the Winner is...: Regina King
King's status as a lock has faded thanks to Rachel's Weisz's BAFTA win and the lack of a nomination at the SAG Awards. Despite the certainty of her winning going down a bit in recent weeks, King has still picked up more accolades than the rest of the field combined coming into Oscar night and boasts the distinction of being the only person in this category that has been widely pegged as the MVP of the movie they starred in. Plus after surprisingly snubbing it for Best Picture, the Academy probably feels like they owe If Beale Street Could Talk an award or two.
Best Director:
Nominees:
Alfonso Cuaron (Roma)
Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman)
Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite)
Adam McKay (Vice)
Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)
And the Winner is...: Alfonso Cuaron
Best Director tends to celebrate flashiness more than any other award and no one dazzled more industry folks with their visual flare, shot selection and overall craft in 2018 than Cuaron. The look and feel of Roma is a large part of why its been so acclaimed, which makes Cuaron a near-lock to add yet another Oscar to his crowded trophy case.
Other Predictions:
Best Original Screenplay: The Favourite
Best Adapted Screenplay: BlacKkKlansman
Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Best Foreign Language Film: Roma
Best Documentary Feature: Free Solo
Best Cinematography: Roma
Best Original Score: Black Panther
Best Original Song: "Shallow" (A Star is Born)
Best Film Editing: Vice
Best Costume Design: The Favourite
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Vice
Best Production Design: The Favourite
Best Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody
Best Sound Mixing: Bohemian Rhapsody
Best Visual Effects: First Man
Best Live Action Short Film: Marguerite
Best Animated Short Film: Weekends
Best Documentary-Short Subject: Black Sheep
Thursday, February 21, 2019
As We Proceed Episode #32
On this episode, Feliciano and I are joined by our friend Dane Sellards to discuss the eight movies that are nominated for Best Picture at this weekend's Academy Awards. This temporary dip into the world of movie podcasting can be seen below.
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
The Best and Worst of Jay Baruchel
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” star Jay Baruchel.
Films starring Jay Baruchel that I've seen:
Almost Famous
Million Dollar Baby
Knocked Up
Tropic Thunder
Fanboys
She's Out of My League
Goon
This is the End
RoboCop
Goon: Last of the Enforcers
Best Performance: This is the End (2013)
He may not have had as many as scene-stealing moments as his co-leads, but Baruchel's turn as the faux-humble version of himself who is wildly jealous of his longtime best friend Seth Rogen's success and new Hollywood friends is still a key component of This is the End's enormous success. He's a terrific counter to the more animated acting of his peers and the relationship between and Rogen is at the center of the few sweet moments that occur in this otherwise wildly vulgar movie.
Worst Performance: Goon (2011)
Being the even-keeled member of an otherwise colorful group of slackers is Baruchel's calling card as a comedic actor. When he flipped the switch and played a hyperactive manchild with no filter in Goon, he just wasn't as convincing or funny as he is typically is.
Best Film: This is the End (2013)
With the end of the 2010's now in sight, I'm pretty confident that nothing will be able to top This is the End for the title of Funniest Movie of the Decade. This disaster movie/general Hollywood satire featuring a bunch of comedic heavy hitters (Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, Baruchel, Craig Robinson) playing exaggerated version of themselves dealing with an apocalyptic event is a depraved, inspired and consistently hysterical gem that only becomes funnier on repeat viewings.
Worst Film: RoboCop (2014)
RoboCop is an enjoyable, well-acted reboot that I felt got way more flack than it deserved. However, it lacks the satirical edge and frantic, gory action scenes that made the original a masterful B-movie, which is enough for me to put it below the rest of the titles from Baruchel's filmography that I've seen.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Greta” star Chloe Grace Moretz.
Films starring Jay Baruchel that I've seen:
Almost Famous
Million Dollar Baby
Knocked Up
Tropic Thunder
Fanboys
She's Out of My League
Goon
This is the End
RoboCop
Goon: Last of the Enforcers
Best Performance: This is the End (2013)
He may not have had as many as scene-stealing moments as his co-leads, but Baruchel's turn as the faux-humble version of himself who is wildly jealous of his longtime best friend Seth Rogen's success and new Hollywood friends is still a key component of This is the End's enormous success. He's a terrific counter to the more animated acting of his peers and the relationship between and Rogen is at the center of the few sweet moments that occur in this otherwise wildly vulgar movie.
Worst Performance: Goon (2011)
Being the even-keeled member of an otherwise colorful group of slackers is Baruchel's calling card as a comedic actor. When he flipped the switch and played a hyperactive manchild with no filter in Goon, he just wasn't as convincing or funny as he is typically is.
Best Film: This is the End (2013)
With the end of the 2010's now in sight, I'm pretty confident that nothing will be able to top This is the End for the title of Funniest Movie of the Decade. This disaster movie/general Hollywood satire featuring a bunch of comedic heavy hitters (Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, Baruchel, Craig Robinson) playing exaggerated version of themselves dealing with an apocalyptic event is a depraved, inspired and consistently hysterical gem that only becomes funnier on repeat viewings.
Worst Film: RoboCop (2014)
RoboCop is an enjoyable, well-acted reboot that I felt got way more flack than it deserved. However, it lacks the satirical edge and frantic, gory action scenes that made the original a masterful B-movie, which is enough for me to put it below the rest of the titles from Baruchel's filmography that I've seen.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Greta” star Chloe Grace Moretz.
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
2019 NFL Mock Draft (Pre-Combine)
1.Arizona Cardinals: Nick Bosa, edge rusher (Ohio State)
2.San Francisco 49ers: Josh Allen, edge rusher (Kentucky)
3.New York Jets: Quinnen Williams, defensive tackle (Alabama)
4.Oakland Raiders: Rashan Gray, edge rusher (Michigan)
5.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Jacobs, running back (Alabama)
6.New York Giants: Dwayne Haskins, quarterback (Ohio State)
7.Jacksonville Jaguars: Jeffrey Simmons, defensive tackle (Mississippi State)
8.Detroit Lions: Clelin Farrell, edge rusher (Clemson)
9.Buffalo Bills: Jawaan Taylor, tackle (Florida)
10.Denver Broncos: Greedy Williams, cornerback (LSU)
11.Cincinnati Bengals: Cody Ford, tackle (Oklahoma)
12.Green Bay Packers: Montez Sweat, edge rusher (Mississippi State)
13.Miami Dolphins: Drew Lock, quarterback (Missouri)
14.Atlanta Falcons: Ed Oliver, defensive tackle (Houston)
15.Washington Redskins: Kyler Murray, quarterback (Oklahoma)
16.Carolina Panthers: Andre Dillard, tackle (Washington State)
17.Cleveland Browns: Christian Wilkins, defensive tackle (Clemson)
18.Minnesota Vikings: Greg Little, tackle (Mississippi)
19.Tennessee Titans: D.K. Metcalf, wide receiver (Mississippi)
20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Devin White, inside linebacker (LSU)
21.Seattle Seahawks: Jonathan Abram, safety (Mississippi State)
22.Baltimore Ravens: Jaylon Ferguson, edge rusher (Louisiana Tech)
23.Houston Texans: Dalton Risner, tackle (Kansas State)
24.Oakland Raiders: Trayvon Mullen, cornerback (Clemson)
25.Philadelphia Eagles: Dexter Lawrence, defensive tackle (Clemson)
26.Indianapolis Colts: Kelvin Harmon, wide receiver (NC State)
27.Oakland Raiders: Marquise Brown, wide receiver (Oklahoma)
28.Los Angeles Chargers: Devin Bush, inside linebacker (Michigan)
29.Kansas City Chiefs: Deandre Baker, cornerback (Georgia)
30.Green Bay Packers: Noah Fant, tight end (Iowa)
31.Los Angeles Rams: Jachai Polite, edge rusher (Florida)
32.New England Patriots: T.J. Hockensen, tight end (Iowa)
2.San Francisco 49ers: Josh Allen, edge rusher (Kentucky)
3.New York Jets: Quinnen Williams, defensive tackle (Alabama)
4.Oakland Raiders: Rashan Gray, edge rusher (Michigan)
5.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Jacobs, running back (Alabama)
6.New York Giants: Dwayne Haskins, quarterback (Ohio State)
7.Jacksonville Jaguars: Jeffrey Simmons, defensive tackle (Mississippi State)
8.Detroit Lions: Clelin Farrell, edge rusher (Clemson)
9.Buffalo Bills: Jawaan Taylor, tackle (Florida)
10.Denver Broncos: Greedy Williams, cornerback (LSU)
11.Cincinnati Bengals: Cody Ford, tackle (Oklahoma)
12.Green Bay Packers: Montez Sweat, edge rusher (Mississippi State)
13.Miami Dolphins: Drew Lock, quarterback (Missouri)
14.Atlanta Falcons: Ed Oliver, defensive tackle (Houston)
15.Washington Redskins: Kyler Murray, quarterback (Oklahoma)
16.Carolina Panthers: Andre Dillard, tackle (Washington State)
17.Cleveland Browns: Christian Wilkins, defensive tackle (Clemson)
18.Minnesota Vikings: Greg Little, tackle (Mississippi)
19.Tennessee Titans: D.K. Metcalf, wide receiver (Mississippi)
20.Pittsburgh Steelers: Devin White, inside linebacker (LSU)
21.Seattle Seahawks: Jonathan Abram, safety (Mississippi State)
22.Baltimore Ravens: Jaylon Ferguson, edge rusher (Louisiana Tech)
23.Houston Texans: Dalton Risner, tackle (Kansas State)
24.Oakland Raiders: Trayvon Mullen, cornerback (Clemson)
25.Philadelphia Eagles: Dexter Lawrence, defensive tackle (Clemson)
26.Indianapolis Colts: Kelvin Harmon, wide receiver (NC State)
27.Oakland Raiders: Marquise Brown, wide receiver (Oklahoma)
28.Los Angeles Chargers: Devin Bush, inside linebacker (Michigan)
29.Kansas City Chiefs: Deandre Baker, cornerback (Georgia)
30.Green Bay Packers: Noah Fant, tight end (Iowa)
31.Los Angeles Rams: Jachai Polite, edge rusher (Florida)
32.New England Patriots: T.J. Hockensen, tight end (Iowa)
Monday, February 18, 2019
2018-19 NBA Midseason Power Rankings (with Write-Ups!!!!)
1.Golden State Warriors (41-16): The NBA's reigning champs endured some uncharacteristic struggles this year, losing 6 straight road games in November/December and double digit games prior to New Year's Day for the first time since 2013-14. That adversity is now completely in the rearview. They're 17-3 since December 29th and have recently added a healthy DeMarcus Cousins to their already terrifying starting lineup. It'll be stunning if any team can prevent them from winning their 3rd straight title.
2.Milwaukee Bucks (43-14): It's amazing what having a legit head coach can do for a team. Mike Budenholzer has the Bucks playing defense, moving the ball, hitting 3's and fulfilling the tremendous potential they'd failed to live up to while Jason Kidd was running the show. The better team play has also allowed Giannis Antetokounmpo more open runs to the rim, which has made the league's best young player even more lethal than he was in the past and subsequently put him at the forefront of the MVP conversation.
3.Toronto Raptors (43-16): Kawhi Leonard is back to his elite two-way form after essentially taking a year off, which is great news for Toronto's chances at finally making a run at an Eastern Conference title. His ability to take over a game on both ends of the floor on the league's biggest stages could be enough to finally put a stop to the Raptors perennially disappointing postseason runs.
4.Denver Nuggets (39-18): The Nuggets have arguably been the most impressive story in the league this season. Mike Malone has been able to navigate a barrage of injuries (Paul Millsap, Gary Harris and Will Barton all missed significant time) to key players in his rotation to lead this team to the #2 spot in the West. The play of their unheralded young guys (Monte Morris, Malik Beasley, Juan Hernangomez, Torrey Craig) who were forced into larger role due to the aforementioned absences has been very impressive, reckless yet lethal offensive virtuoso Jamal Murray has taken another step forward in year #3 and versatile bigman Nikola Jokic has once again proved that he deserves to be considered a superstar in this league. Despite their relative lack of experience (Millsap, Barton, Trey Lyles and Isaiah Thomas- who just made his 1st appearance of the season last week- are the only guys on the roster who have played in a postseason game), this team seems like they're deep and dynamic enough to go on a nice run come playoff time.
5.Oklahoma City Thunder (37-20): In a truly stunning development, the Thunder started playing up to their potential as soon as Carmelo Anthony got shipped out of town. Paul George has been a force all season long (28.7 PPG, 8.0 RPG, 45.3 FG%, 40.6 3P%, league-high 2.3 SPG), the play of their newly-minted starters (Jerami Grant, Terrance Ferguson) has been a really nice surprise and bringing in a reserve guard in Dennis Schroder that can score in the high teens on a nightly basis has taken some much-needed pressure off of the starting lineup (particularly Russell Westbrook-who hasn't resorted to his crippling heroball antics nearly as much as usual this season). A 2nd straight ugly 1st round playoff exit seems unlikely.
6.Boston Celtics (37-21): What an odd year for the Celtics. They limped out of the gates with a disheartening 10-10 start, have dealt with constant locker room turmoil and currently sit in 4th in the East during a season where they were heavy favorites to represent the Conference in the Finals. However, they're still ranked in the top 5-10 in nearly every offensive and defensive category, almost always play their asses off against the league's best teams and have gone 27-11 since that aforementioned .500 start. They've got a tough schedule coming up which includes trips to Milwaukee, Toronto and Oakland, so it'll be interesting to see if they can finally turn into the consistent powerhouse they were pegged to be prior to the season or remain an unpredictable roller coaster with triumphant highs and horrific lows before the playoffs start.
7.Philadelphia 76ers (37-21): It's hard to argue that the already super talented 76ers starting lineup became better equipped to do battle on both ends of the floor with the outside shooting-happy teams in the East with the additions of Jimmy Butler and Tobias Harris. The problem is that these prolific trades have pissed away whatever minimal bench depth they had and Butler is a locker room cancer/on-floor chemistry killer who routinely disappears in crunch time. Brett Brown is going to have work some miracles to get this team to show up and play smart, unselfish basketball against top-tier competition.
8.Portland Trail Blazers (34-23): With an explosive offense, a home court advantage that is easily among the best in the NBA and shaky bench/defense, business has been predictably good, but not great in Portland. The real test for the Blazers will once again come in the playoffs and if Terry Stotts can't get this very talented team anchored by the best offensive backcourt in the league outside of Golden State to elevate their game yet again, it might be time to sever ties.
9.Houston Rockets (33-24): A notable hit to the depth/defensive skill they had a year ago with the offseason departures of Trevor Ariza, Luc Mbah a Moute and Joe Johnson paired with Chris Paul's extended early season absence has forced the Rockets back to being the James Harden ball-whoring sideshow they'd been for most of the Bearded One's tenure in Houston. While Harden's stat sheet-filling heroics will earn him plenty of MVP votes, it also means the Rockets are no longer the biggest threat to the Warriors throne in the West and will likely find themselves sitting at home by mid-May at the latest.
10.Indiana Pacers (38-20): Nate McMillan has instilled this sneakily talented group (Myles Turner, Bojan Bogdanovic, Darren Collison, Thaddeus Young, Domantas Sabonis, Tyreke Evans, new acquisition Wesley Matthews) with enough resiliency and confidence to carry on without team centerpiece Victor Oladipo for the rest of the season. The problem is that without Oladipo, the Pacers chances of being a dark horse threat to come out of the East have all but completely withered away. They just don't have the volume of reliable scorers or more importantly, a commanding force that can takeover a game on a whim, that's required to go on a deep postseason run.
11.San Antonio Spurs (33-26): This "rebuilding" Spurs squad is comparable to last season's Kawhi-less bunch. Throwback mid-range jumper specialist DeMar DeRozan has fit nicely into Gregg Popovich's system, LaMarcus Alridge is handling the on-and-off-court leadership role just as well as he did last season and despite their surprisingly poor defense (30th in steals, 24th in blocks, 23rd in defensive rating), they've willed their way into the playoff mix thanks to their terrific chemistry, efficient shooting and scrappy attitude.
12.Utah Jazz (32-25): Quinn Snyder apparently doesn't like doing things the easy way. The Jazz once again had a losing record as recently as early January, but now this hard-nosed defensive juggernaut has gone on a hot streak (winning 12 of their last 16 games) and finds themselves in the hunt for the #4 spot in the Western Conference. Very impressive stuff from perhaps the most mentally tough team in the league.
13.Sacramento Kings (30-27): Well I'll be damned, the Kings are actually decent!!!! De'Aaron Fox has built off a promising rookie season with a terrific sophomore campaign that's seen his shooting efficiency (41.2 to 46.1 FG%), assists (4.4 to 7.2 per game) and overall scoring numbers (11.6 to 17.2 PPG) skyrocket, Buddy Hield is starting to become the deadly sharpshooter (20.3 PPG, 47.5 FG%, 44.9 3P%) he was pegged to be when he got drafted #6 overall in 2016 and Dave Joerger has done a great job of building effective rotations out of a revolving door of parts. Even if they end up on the wrong end of the logjam at the bottom of the Western Conference playoff picture, their surprisingly solid play has provided a spark of optimism that has been absent from this organization for much of the past 15 years.
14.Brooklyn Nets (30-29): The 2018-19 Nets are eerily reminiscent of the Isaiah Thomas-era Celtics teams. They're as relentless as they come, haven't let a number of key injuries (Caris LeVert, Spencer Dinwiddie, Allen Crabbe) effect the quality of the on-floor product and are led by a point guard (D'Angelo Russell) whose significantly elevated his game after being unceremoniously dumped by his previous team. How a poorly-ran organization with no established talent like the Knicks are considered to be a more desirable landing spot for star players than this well-coached squad with an abundance of promising young talent and a legit chance of making the playoffs is beyond me.
15.Los Angeles Clippers (32-27): While the trade of leading scorer Tobias Harris right before the deadline significantly reduces their odds of making the playoffs, keeping a team primarily compromised of veteran role players (Lou Williams, Montrezl Harrell, Danilo Gallinari, Patrick Beverley) and young guys who aren't considered to be blue chip prospects (Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Tyrone Wallace) competitive in the Western Conference has to go down as some of the finest coaching Doc Rivers has ever done. Regardless of how free agency shakes out (they now have the cap space for 2 max deals after getting rid of Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjonovic, Marcin Gortat and Mike Scott last week), their balance of established vets, solid young players and future draft assets gives them one of the rosier long-term forecasts in the league.
16.Los Angeles Lakers (28-29): LeBron missing over a month with a groin injury and the subsequent struggles the team went through during his absence killed a lot of the momentum the Lakers built up before Christmas. Now Bron will have to decide whether he wants to go balls out for the next 25 games to get this team of erratic young guns and hot-tempered veterans that are unwilling to take any of his shit back into contention or just chock this up as a lost season and hope he can assemble a super team over the summer. His decision could very well end up dictating how the free agency and trade market plays out for the next few seasons, so all eyes will be glued on the Lakers the rest of the way.
17.Minnesota Timberwolves (27-30): Karl Anthony-Towns returned to his dominant form as soon as locker room bully Jimmy Butler left the building, newly-acquired wing Robert Covington has made an immediate impact on their perimeter defense and Derrick Rose is in the midst of a resurgent season where he's frequently reminded the league that his days of being an impact player aren't over yet. With all of those positives, how is this team 3 games under .500 and stuck in 11th place in the West? The answer would be Andrew Wiggins-who not only isn't a viable #2 option on a winning team, but is becoming more of a legitimate liability by the day. His increased offensive struggles combined with his trademark lethargic defense is making it incredibly difficult for this team to flourish and with a contract that's set to pay him just shy of $148 million over the next 5 seasons, he's a problem the Wolves have no choice but to try and work around for the foreseeable future.
18.Charlotte Hornets (27-30): In a contract year, Kemba Walker is playing some of the best ball of his career (24.9 PPG, 43.1 FG%, 36.2 3P%, 5.5 AST) and helping a thin, wildly average Hornets team cling to a playoff spot. As great as Walker has been, the Hornets ineffective supporting cast could make them the odd team out in the East playoff hunt if the Nets, Heat, Pistons and/or Magic get into a groove down the stretch
19.Detroit Pistons (26-30): You won't find a stronger argument for the importance of depth and offensive versatility in the modern NBA than the Pistons. Despite a career year from Blake Griffin, reliably strong output from old-school, paint-clogging center Andre Drummond and generally good play on the defensive end, the lack of a scoring wing, outside shooters and another guy outside of Griffin that can distribute the ball has relegated them to fringe playoff status. This team is going to need a serious makeover after the season if they want to get out of this dreaded no-man's-land.
20.Miami Heat (26-30): Despite having the same corps and playing stout defense on a nightly basis, the Heat just haven't been able to replicate the level of success they had a year ago. Maybe the imminent return of starting point guard Goran Dragic will give them the offensive spark they need to get off the bubble and firmly into one of the conference's 3 wide open playoff spots.
21.Dallas Mavericks (26-31): Building for the future has been the only mission in Dallas over the past few years and with rookie phenom Luka Doncic and now Kristaps Porzingis on their roster, they look like they could be in the process of putting together a special team that puts them back in contention. In the meantime, they're just an alright team that's not good or deep enough to make it to the playoffs, especially since they dealt 2 key members of their starting 5 (DeAndre Jordan, Harrison Barnes) at the deadline.
22.Orlando Magic (27-32): In a refreshing change of pace for this long-suffering franchise, the Magic are currently in the thick of the playoff chase in the East. They lack depth (Terrence Ross is their only consistently viable option off the bench) and don't really excel at anything on the offensive end of the floor, but they've improved significantly defensively (6th in points allowed per game and 9th in defensive rating, up from 21st and 18th respectively a year go) and perpetually underrated center Nikola Vucevic is putting up the best numbers of his career in nearly every major category (PTS, REB, AST, FG%, 3P%).
23.Washington Wizards (24-34): Well it looks like the Wizards are finally starting to fall apart for real. John Wall, whose 4 year/$169 mil super max deal kicks in next year, is likely out until 2020-2021 after tearing his Achilles in a freak accident at his home while he was recovering from the heel surgery that put him on the shelf for the rest of the season, their defense is just outside of the bottom 5 in the league and despite the pretty dramatic roster turnover they've undergone since mid-December, journeyman veteran Jeff Green is still their 3rd best player. At least Bradley Beal is still tearing shit up and they were able to get Otto Porter Jr.'s terrible contract off their books.
24.Memphis Grizzlies (23-36): Really the only notable things about the Grizzlies this year is that they traded longtime franchise cornerstone Marc Gasol and potentially drafted the league's next great dynamic big in Jaren Jackson Jr. Outside of that, they've been playing their usual methodical, defensive-dependent brand of basketball with far less success than usual-despite a great bounceback campaign from Mike Conley.
25.New Orleans Pelicans (26-33): Even before the Anthony Davis trade request saga sent them completely off the rails, the Pelicans had been a huge disappointment this season. Despite the best efforts of AD and longtime running mate Jrue Holiday, their inability to replace the lost playmaking ability of Rajon Rondo and interior defensive presence of DeMarcus Cousins resulted in them failing to build upon the promise they displayed a year ago.
26.Atlanta Hawks (19-39): This Hawks squad plays as hard as anyone in the league. Sure they might be super young, alarmingly bad on the defensive end, take a ton of dumb 3's (sup Trae Young) and turn the ball over at a comically high rate (18.3 per game, most in the league), but they never quit. Getting a full 48 minutes of a young team isn't easy, so Lloyd Pierce deserves credit for getting them to buy into his relentless system right away. I'm also starting to believe that sophomore stretch 4 John Collins could be a legit cornerstone player for this team and go down as the steal of the 2017 Draft.
27.Cleveland Cavaliers (12-46): With Kevin Love getting hurt before the start of the season and unlikely to return before the end of the year, the post-LeBron tank is officially on in Cleveland. Early returns on their young guys (Cedi Osman, Ante Zizic, Larry Nance Jr., rookie Collin Sexton) have been pretty uninspiring on the whole, but at least their embarrassing at worst, respectable at best production has them in a good spot to land a high pick in a draft that is believed to be among the deepest in recent memory.
28.New York Knicks (11-47): By making no notable moves in free agency and shipping out anybody that was making money (Tim Hardaway Jr., Courtney Lee) along with lone legit asset Kristaps Porzingis to the Mavericks earlier this month, the Knicks confirmed the widespread speculation that they're only goal for 2018-19 was putting themselves in the best possible position to land at least 1 of the many stars that are going to be available on the open market or via trade in the offseason. As for the actual on-court product, 1st year coach David Fizdale has the collection of aimless stiffs he's been handed playing with purpose every night, which is more than can be said for most of the other recent iterations of the NBA's saddest big market team.
29.Chicago Bulls (14-44): If the Suns weren't in the middle of a league-high cold streak, the Bulls would be my pick for the worst team. Their roster led by Zach LaVine, Lauri Markkanen and Kris Dunn is easily the best among the teams populating this part of the league hierarchy, but their borderline hilarious lack of effort most nights and woeful coaching from Jim Boylen undermines the bulk of the talent they have to work with .
30.Phoenix Suns (11-48): This team really can't do anything right. Sure they're playing harder than they were a year ago and #1 overall pick Deandre Ayton is having a pretty nice rookie year (16.5 PTS, 10.5 REB and 0.9 BLKS per game), but as evidenced by their bottom 3 rankings in offensive and defensive rating and current 15-game losing streak, they're still a depressing mess on both ends of the floor. It's going to take another couple of successful high lottery picks or a huge free agent/trade splash before a true turnaround even becomes a legit possibility.
2.Milwaukee Bucks (43-14): It's amazing what having a legit head coach can do for a team. Mike Budenholzer has the Bucks playing defense, moving the ball, hitting 3's and fulfilling the tremendous potential they'd failed to live up to while Jason Kidd was running the show. The better team play has also allowed Giannis Antetokounmpo more open runs to the rim, which has made the league's best young player even more lethal than he was in the past and subsequently put him at the forefront of the MVP conversation.
3.Toronto Raptors (43-16): Kawhi Leonard is back to his elite two-way form after essentially taking a year off, which is great news for Toronto's chances at finally making a run at an Eastern Conference title. His ability to take over a game on both ends of the floor on the league's biggest stages could be enough to finally put a stop to the Raptors perennially disappointing postseason runs.
4.Denver Nuggets (39-18): The Nuggets have arguably been the most impressive story in the league this season. Mike Malone has been able to navigate a barrage of injuries (Paul Millsap, Gary Harris and Will Barton all missed significant time) to key players in his rotation to lead this team to the #2 spot in the West. The play of their unheralded young guys (Monte Morris, Malik Beasley, Juan Hernangomez, Torrey Craig) who were forced into larger role due to the aforementioned absences has been very impressive, reckless yet lethal offensive virtuoso Jamal Murray has taken another step forward in year #3 and versatile bigman Nikola Jokic has once again proved that he deserves to be considered a superstar in this league. Despite their relative lack of experience (Millsap, Barton, Trey Lyles and Isaiah Thomas- who just made his 1st appearance of the season last week- are the only guys on the roster who have played in a postseason game), this team seems like they're deep and dynamic enough to go on a nice run come playoff time.
5.Oklahoma City Thunder (37-20): In a truly stunning development, the Thunder started playing up to their potential as soon as Carmelo Anthony got shipped out of town. Paul George has been a force all season long (28.7 PPG, 8.0 RPG, 45.3 FG%, 40.6 3P%, league-high 2.3 SPG), the play of their newly-minted starters (Jerami Grant, Terrance Ferguson) has been a really nice surprise and bringing in a reserve guard in Dennis Schroder that can score in the high teens on a nightly basis has taken some much-needed pressure off of the starting lineup (particularly Russell Westbrook-who hasn't resorted to his crippling heroball antics nearly as much as usual this season). A 2nd straight ugly 1st round playoff exit seems unlikely.
6.Boston Celtics (37-21): What an odd year for the Celtics. They limped out of the gates with a disheartening 10-10 start, have dealt with constant locker room turmoil and currently sit in 4th in the East during a season where they were heavy favorites to represent the Conference in the Finals. However, they're still ranked in the top 5-10 in nearly every offensive and defensive category, almost always play their asses off against the league's best teams and have gone 27-11 since that aforementioned .500 start. They've got a tough schedule coming up which includes trips to Milwaukee, Toronto and Oakland, so it'll be interesting to see if they can finally turn into the consistent powerhouse they were pegged to be prior to the season or remain an unpredictable roller coaster with triumphant highs and horrific lows before the playoffs start.
7.Philadelphia 76ers (37-21): It's hard to argue that the already super talented 76ers starting lineup became better equipped to do battle on both ends of the floor with the outside shooting-happy teams in the East with the additions of Jimmy Butler and Tobias Harris. The problem is that these prolific trades have pissed away whatever minimal bench depth they had and Butler is a locker room cancer/on-floor chemistry killer who routinely disappears in crunch time. Brett Brown is going to have work some miracles to get this team to show up and play smart, unselfish basketball against top-tier competition.
8.Portland Trail Blazers (34-23): With an explosive offense, a home court advantage that is easily among the best in the NBA and shaky bench/defense, business has been predictably good, but not great in Portland. The real test for the Blazers will once again come in the playoffs and if Terry Stotts can't get this very talented team anchored by the best offensive backcourt in the league outside of Golden State to elevate their game yet again, it might be time to sever ties.
9.Houston Rockets (33-24): A notable hit to the depth/defensive skill they had a year ago with the offseason departures of Trevor Ariza, Luc Mbah a Moute and Joe Johnson paired with Chris Paul's extended early season absence has forced the Rockets back to being the James Harden ball-whoring sideshow they'd been for most of the Bearded One's tenure in Houston. While Harden's stat sheet-filling heroics will earn him plenty of MVP votes, it also means the Rockets are no longer the biggest threat to the Warriors throne in the West and will likely find themselves sitting at home by mid-May at the latest.
10.Indiana Pacers (38-20): Nate McMillan has instilled this sneakily talented group (Myles Turner, Bojan Bogdanovic, Darren Collison, Thaddeus Young, Domantas Sabonis, Tyreke Evans, new acquisition Wesley Matthews) with enough resiliency and confidence to carry on without team centerpiece Victor Oladipo for the rest of the season. The problem is that without Oladipo, the Pacers chances of being a dark horse threat to come out of the East have all but completely withered away. They just don't have the volume of reliable scorers or more importantly, a commanding force that can takeover a game on a whim, that's required to go on a deep postseason run.
11.San Antonio Spurs (33-26): This "rebuilding" Spurs squad is comparable to last season's Kawhi-less bunch. Throwback mid-range jumper specialist DeMar DeRozan has fit nicely into Gregg Popovich's system, LaMarcus Alridge is handling the on-and-off-court leadership role just as well as he did last season and despite their surprisingly poor defense (30th in steals, 24th in blocks, 23rd in defensive rating), they've willed their way into the playoff mix thanks to their terrific chemistry, efficient shooting and scrappy attitude.
12.Utah Jazz (32-25): Quinn Snyder apparently doesn't like doing things the easy way. The Jazz once again had a losing record as recently as early January, but now this hard-nosed defensive juggernaut has gone on a hot streak (winning 12 of their last 16 games) and finds themselves in the hunt for the #4 spot in the Western Conference. Very impressive stuff from perhaps the most mentally tough team in the league.
13.Sacramento Kings (30-27): Well I'll be damned, the Kings are actually decent!!!! De'Aaron Fox has built off a promising rookie season with a terrific sophomore campaign that's seen his shooting efficiency (41.2 to 46.1 FG%), assists (4.4 to 7.2 per game) and overall scoring numbers (11.6 to 17.2 PPG) skyrocket, Buddy Hield is starting to become the deadly sharpshooter (20.3 PPG, 47.5 FG%, 44.9 3P%) he was pegged to be when he got drafted #6 overall in 2016 and Dave Joerger has done a great job of building effective rotations out of a revolving door of parts. Even if they end up on the wrong end of the logjam at the bottom of the Western Conference playoff picture, their surprisingly solid play has provided a spark of optimism that has been absent from this organization for much of the past 15 years.
14.Brooklyn Nets (30-29): The 2018-19 Nets are eerily reminiscent of the Isaiah Thomas-era Celtics teams. They're as relentless as they come, haven't let a number of key injuries (Caris LeVert, Spencer Dinwiddie, Allen Crabbe) effect the quality of the on-floor product and are led by a point guard (D'Angelo Russell) whose significantly elevated his game after being unceremoniously dumped by his previous team. How a poorly-ran organization with no established talent like the Knicks are considered to be a more desirable landing spot for star players than this well-coached squad with an abundance of promising young talent and a legit chance of making the playoffs is beyond me.
15.Los Angeles Clippers (32-27): While the trade of leading scorer Tobias Harris right before the deadline significantly reduces their odds of making the playoffs, keeping a team primarily compromised of veteran role players (Lou Williams, Montrezl Harrell, Danilo Gallinari, Patrick Beverley) and young guys who aren't considered to be blue chip prospects (Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Tyrone Wallace) competitive in the Western Conference has to go down as some of the finest coaching Doc Rivers has ever done. Regardless of how free agency shakes out (they now have the cap space for 2 max deals after getting rid of Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjonovic, Marcin Gortat and Mike Scott last week), their balance of established vets, solid young players and future draft assets gives them one of the rosier long-term forecasts in the league.
16.Los Angeles Lakers (28-29): LeBron missing over a month with a groin injury and the subsequent struggles the team went through during his absence killed a lot of the momentum the Lakers built up before Christmas. Now Bron will have to decide whether he wants to go balls out for the next 25 games to get this team of erratic young guns and hot-tempered veterans that are unwilling to take any of his shit back into contention or just chock this up as a lost season and hope he can assemble a super team over the summer. His decision could very well end up dictating how the free agency and trade market plays out for the next few seasons, so all eyes will be glued on the Lakers the rest of the way.
17.Minnesota Timberwolves (27-30): Karl Anthony-Towns returned to his dominant form as soon as locker room bully Jimmy Butler left the building, newly-acquired wing Robert Covington has made an immediate impact on their perimeter defense and Derrick Rose is in the midst of a resurgent season where he's frequently reminded the league that his days of being an impact player aren't over yet. With all of those positives, how is this team 3 games under .500 and stuck in 11th place in the West? The answer would be Andrew Wiggins-who not only isn't a viable #2 option on a winning team, but is becoming more of a legitimate liability by the day. His increased offensive struggles combined with his trademark lethargic defense is making it incredibly difficult for this team to flourish and with a contract that's set to pay him just shy of $148 million over the next 5 seasons, he's a problem the Wolves have no choice but to try and work around for the foreseeable future.
18.Charlotte Hornets (27-30): In a contract year, Kemba Walker is playing some of the best ball of his career (24.9 PPG, 43.1 FG%, 36.2 3P%, 5.5 AST) and helping a thin, wildly average Hornets team cling to a playoff spot. As great as Walker has been, the Hornets ineffective supporting cast could make them the odd team out in the East playoff hunt if the Nets, Heat, Pistons and/or Magic get into a groove down the stretch
19.Detroit Pistons (26-30): You won't find a stronger argument for the importance of depth and offensive versatility in the modern NBA than the Pistons. Despite a career year from Blake Griffin, reliably strong output from old-school, paint-clogging center Andre Drummond and generally good play on the defensive end, the lack of a scoring wing, outside shooters and another guy outside of Griffin that can distribute the ball has relegated them to fringe playoff status. This team is going to need a serious makeover after the season if they want to get out of this dreaded no-man's-land.
20.Miami Heat (26-30): Despite having the same corps and playing stout defense on a nightly basis, the Heat just haven't been able to replicate the level of success they had a year ago. Maybe the imminent return of starting point guard Goran Dragic will give them the offensive spark they need to get off the bubble and firmly into one of the conference's 3 wide open playoff spots.
21.Dallas Mavericks (26-31): Building for the future has been the only mission in Dallas over the past few years and with rookie phenom Luka Doncic and now Kristaps Porzingis on their roster, they look like they could be in the process of putting together a special team that puts them back in contention. In the meantime, they're just an alright team that's not good or deep enough to make it to the playoffs, especially since they dealt 2 key members of their starting 5 (DeAndre Jordan, Harrison Barnes) at the deadline.
22.Orlando Magic (27-32): In a refreshing change of pace for this long-suffering franchise, the Magic are currently in the thick of the playoff chase in the East. They lack depth (Terrence Ross is their only consistently viable option off the bench) and don't really excel at anything on the offensive end of the floor, but they've improved significantly defensively (6th in points allowed per game and 9th in defensive rating, up from 21st and 18th respectively a year go) and perpetually underrated center Nikola Vucevic is putting up the best numbers of his career in nearly every major category (PTS, REB, AST, FG%, 3P%).
23.Washington Wizards (24-34): Well it looks like the Wizards are finally starting to fall apart for real. John Wall, whose 4 year/$169 mil super max deal kicks in next year, is likely out until 2020-2021 after tearing his Achilles in a freak accident at his home while he was recovering from the heel surgery that put him on the shelf for the rest of the season, their defense is just outside of the bottom 5 in the league and despite the pretty dramatic roster turnover they've undergone since mid-December, journeyman veteran Jeff Green is still their 3rd best player. At least Bradley Beal is still tearing shit up and they were able to get Otto Porter Jr.'s terrible contract off their books.
24.Memphis Grizzlies (23-36): Really the only notable things about the Grizzlies this year is that they traded longtime franchise cornerstone Marc Gasol and potentially drafted the league's next great dynamic big in Jaren Jackson Jr. Outside of that, they've been playing their usual methodical, defensive-dependent brand of basketball with far less success than usual-despite a great bounceback campaign from Mike Conley.
25.New Orleans Pelicans (26-33): Even before the Anthony Davis trade request saga sent them completely off the rails, the Pelicans had been a huge disappointment this season. Despite the best efforts of AD and longtime running mate Jrue Holiday, their inability to replace the lost playmaking ability of Rajon Rondo and interior defensive presence of DeMarcus Cousins resulted in them failing to build upon the promise they displayed a year ago.
26.Atlanta Hawks (19-39): This Hawks squad plays as hard as anyone in the league. Sure they might be super young, alarmingly bad on the defensive end, take a ton of dumb 3's (sup Trae Young) and turn the ball over at a comically high rate (18.3 per game, most in the league), but they never quit. Getting a full 48 minutes of a young team isn't easy, so Lloyd Pierce deserves credit for getting them to buy into his relentless system right away. I'm also starting to believe that sophomore stretch 4 John Collins could be a legit cornerstone player for this team and go down as the steal of the 2017 Draft.
27.Cleveland Cavaliers (12-46): With Kevin Love getting hurt before the start of the season and unlikely to return before the end of the year, the post-LeBron tank is officially on in Cleveland. Early returns on their young guys (Cedi Osman, Ante Zizic, Larry Nance Jr., rookie Collin Sexton) have been pretty uninspiring on the whole, but at least their embarrassing at worst, respectable at best production has them in a good spot to land a high pick in a draft that is believed to be among the deepest in recent memory.
28.New York Knicks (11-47): By making no notable moves in free agency and shipping out anybody that was making money (Tim Hardaway Jr., Courtney Lee) along with lone legit asset Kristaps Porzingis to the Mavericks earlier this month, the Knicks confirmed the widespread speculation that they're only goal for 2018-19 was putting themselves in the best possible position to land at least 1 of the many stars that are going to be available on the open market or via trade in the offseason. As for the actual on-court product, 1st year coach David Fizdale has the collection of aimless stiffs he's been handed playing with purpose every night, which is more than can be said for most of the other recent iterations of the NBA's saddest big market team.
29.Chicago Bulls (14-44): If the Suns weren't in the middle of a league-high cold streak, the Bulls would be my pick for the worst team. Their roster led by Zach LaVine, Lauri Markkanen and Kris Dunn is easily the best among the teams populating this part of the league hierarchy, but their borderline hilarious lack of effort most nights and woeful coaching from Jim Boylen undermines the bulk of the talent they have to work with .
30.Phoenix Suns (11-48): This team really can't do anything right. Sure they're playing harder than they were a year ago and #1 overall pick Deandre Ayton is having a pretty nice rookie year (16.5 PTS, 10.5 REB and 0.9 BLKS per game), but as evidenced by their bottom 3 rankings in offensive and defensive rating and current 15-game losing streak, they're still a depressing mess on both ends of the floor. It's going to take another couple of successful high lottery picks or a huge free agent/trade splash before a true turnaround even becomes a legit possibility.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Movie Review: Cold Pursuit
By slowly morphing into an offbeat story about the emergence of a turf war between a pair of drug gangs that had previously been allies for roughly 30 years , Cold Pursuit becomes a hilarious farce that pokes fun at the absurdity of these kinds of crime movies while also doubling as an interesting character study about criminals at different stages of their lives. Once Nesson arrives on the scene and starts killing some runners/enforcers in an attempt to draw out the big fish, the two kingpins-one a 30-year old yuppie maniac (Bateman) who revels in the newfound power he has after taking over the operation his late father spent decades building up, the other a 70-year old (Tom Jackson) who has become increasingly fed up with the day-to-day grind of running a criminal enterprise-get put into a slew of unforeseen situations that threaten to strip them of the power they've spent so long building up. Watching the radically different ways (seething rage from the young buck and a calmness that borders on relief from the old man) these men react to this sudden downfall after enjoying such a long period of unimpeded functionality within their respective empires gives the proceedings a surprising level of nuance without ever failing to indulge in any of the many opportunities to deliver gleefully sick jokes that arise along the way. This nicely-executed balancing act helped make Cold Pursuit a different type of super entertaining ride than I expected coming in, which is enough for me to declare it the first truly great film of 2019.
Grade: B+
Wednesday, February 13, 2019
Album Review: Ariana Grande-thank u, next
The past six tumultuous months in the personal life of pop superstar Ariana Grande has provided enough material to fuel gossip pages and venomous social media commentary for the foreseeable future. Disturbing blowback from her perceived role in the tragic overdose death of ex-boyfriend Mac Miller followed by the demise of her short-lived, very public relationship with comedian Pete Davidson has resulted in a level of public scrutiny that even most celebrities couldn't fathom. Like any recording artist going through a traumatic period in their life would, Grande turned to music to heal. The result of these musical therapy sessions is thank u, next, a pleasant, often thoughtful record that sadly falls short of greatness.
thank u, next hits all of the thematic notes you'd expect it to gracefully. It's got somber introspections ("fake smile", "needy", "ghostin"-which is a very heartfelt tribute to Miller), empowering individuality anthems ("bloodline", "NASA", the title track) and even a couple of boisterous club bangers ("7 rings", "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored") that see her embracing her inner rapper. These emotional beats are accompanied by terrific, largely trap-influenced production that matches Grande's mood on each track flawlessly and her signature powerhouse vocals that remain as dazzling as ever. Considering how cohesive and generally well-assembled the entire record is, how exactly does it fail to achieve excellence? Simple, that competence never builds anything into overly memorable or special. Even at its finest moments ("bloodline", "fake smile", "break up with your girlfriend I'm bored", funky anti-love song "bad idea"), thank u, next lacks the "holy shit" quality her music often has in abundance. There's no shortage of swagger or sincere emotion in these songs, but the merely decent hooks and mostly downbeat tempo that limits Grande's extensive vocal arsenal prevent it from ever truly taking off. To put in the form of a silly metaphor, Grande usually puts on a full professional fireworks display, thank u, next is more like a block party with a bunch of people lighting off roman candles.
There's a lot to admire about thank u, next. It's a successful phoenix rises from the ashes post-breakup record and Grande deserves a ton of credit for putting together a fully-formed, highly personal collection of songs in just 2 months. However, it just never comes to close to matching the sweeping dynamism or bubbly charm that respectively made Dangerous Woman and Sweetener work so well. Grande's rare singing prowess and almost always tremendous production makes a complete failure highly unlikely, but this record is well below her capabilities an as artist and I can only hope that her next project marks a return to the soaring, infectious pop form she's displayed in the past.
thank u, next hits all of the thematic notes you'd expect it to gracefully. It's got somber introspections ("fake smile", "needy", "ghostin"-which is a very heartfelt tribute to Miller), empowering individuality anthems ("bloodline", "NASA", the title track) and even a couple of boisterous club bangers ("7 rings", "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored") that see her embracing her inner rapper. These emotional beats are accompanied by terrific, largely trap-influenced production that matches Grande's mood on each track flawlessly and her signature powerhouse vocals that remain as dazzling as ever. Considering how cohesive and generally well-assembled the entire record is, how exactly does it fail to achieve excellence? Simple, that competence never builds anything into overly memorable or special. Even at its finest moments ("bloodline", "fake smile", "break up with your girlfriend I'm bored", funky anti-love song "bad idea"), thank u, next lacks the "holy shit" quality her music often has in abundance. There's no shortage of swagger or sincere emotion in these songs, but the merely decent hooks and mostly downbeat tempo that limits Grande's extensive vocal arsenal prevent it from ever truly taking off. To put in the form of a silly metaphor, Grande usually puts on a full professional fireworks display, thank u, next is more like a block party with a bunch of people lighting off roman candles.
There's a lot to admire about thank u, next. It's a successful phoenix rises from the ashes post-breakup record and Grande deserves a ton of credit for putting together a fully-formed, highly personal collection of songs in just 2 months. However, it just never comes to close to matching the sweeping dynamism or bubbly charm that respectively made Dangerous Woman and Sweetener work so well. Grande's rare singing prowess and almost always tremendous production makes a complete failure highly unlikely, but this record is well below her capabilities an as artist and I can only hope that her next project marks a return to the soaring, infectious pop form she's displayed in the past.
Grade: B-
Standout Tracks
1.bloodline
2.bad idea
3.break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
The Best and Worst of Michelle Rodriguez
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “Alita: Battle Angel” star Michelle Rodriguez.
Films starring Michelle Rodriguez that I've seen:
Girlfight
The Fast and the Furious
Resident Evil
Blue Crush
S.W.A.T.
Fast and Furious
Avatar
Machete
Battle: Los Angeles
Fast Five
Resident Evil: Retribution
Fast and Furious 6
Machete Kills
Furious 7
The Fate of the Furious
Widows
Best Performance: Machete (2010)
No disrespect to Letty Ortiz, but Luz/She is easily my favorite character that Rodriguez has ever played. Robert Rodriguez has a thorough understanding of Rodriguez's ability as an action hero and armed her with an absolute badass character that helps this excellent love letter to grindhouse's loopy social commentary elements really pop.
Worst Performance: Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Battle: Los Angeles' overly serious tone and terrible script made a lot of good actors look bad. While Rodriguez didn't end up getting embarrassed nearly as badly as Aaron Eckhart or Michael Pena, this really, really stupid albeit somewhat entertaining sci-fi actioner suppresses the grit and hard-nosed swagger that has made her one of the industry's most reliably strong action stars for nearly 20 years.
Best Film: Fast Five (2011)
Before it turned into a full-on superhero saga, street racing franchise The Fast and the Furious started its brilliant reinvention process with Fast Five-a wildly fun heist movie that remains the finest entry in the series. Adding Dwayne Johnson to the cast and embracing a more lighthearted tone helped turn this series into a gleefully self-aware, over-the-top beast that is untouchable in the entertainment department.
Worst Film: Avatar (2009)
It's only fitting that I rip James Cameron's last directorial effort in a piece that's linked to his newest project. No amount of impressive CGI can make up for the cringeworthy cheesiness, stiff acting and wall-to-wall boredom that occupies every frame of this ungodly long movie. I'm glad that it's taken 62 years for the 43 planned sequels to be released because any day where I'm not reminded of Avatar's existence is a good one.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” star Jay Baruchel.
Films starring Michelle Rodriguez that I've seen:
Girlfight
The Fast and the Furious
Resident Evil
Blue Crush
S.W.A.T.
Fast and Furious
Avatar
Machete
Battle: Los Angeles
Fast Five
Resident Evil: Retribution
Fast and Furious 6
Machete Kills
Furious 7
The Fate of the Furious
Widows
Best Performance: Machete (2010)
No disrespect to Letty Ortiz, but Luz/She is easily my favorite character that Rodriguez has ever played. Robert Rodriguez has a thorough understanding of Rodriguez's ability as an action hero and armed her with an absolute badass character that helps this excellent love letter to grindhouse's loopy social commentary elements really pop.
Worst Performance: Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Battle: Los Angeles' overly serious tone and terrible script made a lot of good actors look bad. While Rodriguez didn't end up getting embarrassed nearly as badly as Aaron Eckhart or Michael Pena, this really, really stupid albeit somewhat entertaining sci-fi actioner suppresses the grit and hard-nosed swagger that has made her one of the industry's most reliably strong action stars for nearly 20 years.
Best Film: Fast Five (2011)
Before it turned into a full-on superhero saga, street racing franchise The Fast and the Furious started its brilliant reinvention process with Fast Five-a wildly fun heist movie that remains the finest entry in the series. Adding Dwayne Johnson to the cast and embracing a more lighthearted tone helped turn this series into a gleefully self-aware, over-the-top beast that is untouchable in the entertainment department.
Worst Film: Avatar (2009)
It's only fitting that I rip James Cameron's last directorial effort in a piece that's linked to his newest project. No amount of impressive CGI can make up for the cringeworthy cheesiness, stiff acting and wall-to-wall boredom that occupies every frame of this ungodly long movie. I'm glad that it's taken 62 years for the 43 planned sequels to be released because any day where I'm not reminded of Avatar's existence is a good one.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” star Jay Baruchel.
Friday, February 8, 2019
Movie Review: Velvet Buzzsaw
.png)
Roman J. Israel Esq. was a surprising regression for writer/director Dan Gilroy. Despite the best efforts of star Denzel Washington in the lead role, an overly ambitious and somewhat absurd script prevented the legal drama from hitting its intended emotional high notes. His latest project Velvet Buzzsaw, which marks a return to the cynical, morbid world of satirical thrillers that birthed his incendiary breakout feature Nightcrawler, presented him with a golden opportunity to get back on track. Instead, Gilroy managed to concoct an even more aggravating and baffling misfire that only increases the likelihood that Nightcrawler was a one-off work of genius.
The setup for Velvet Buzzsaw is ideal for a huge dose of the venomous satire that made Nightcrawler so eerily effective. A mysterious death at a Los Angeles apartment complex leads to a struggling art gallery assistant (Zawe Ashton) discovering an extensive collection of paintings inside of the dead man's apartment. After setting up a public showing with the help of her boss (Rene Russo) and prestigious art critic boyfriend (Jake Gyllenhaal), the paintings become some of the most coveted pieces of art in the world. Shortly after the massive checks start clearing and a book is commissioned to discover the origins of this suddenly prolific artist, the reclusive dead man's sinister history is revealed and the large network of people profiting from his artwork slowly start getting killed off.
Despite having all of the puzzle pieces right in front of him, Gilroy never even comes close to making them fit together. With the blasé way he jumps from character to character without giving them distinctive motivations/traits and complete lack of commentary besides "people who profit off of art are self-important, money-chasing assholes that don't care about the feelings of the creator", it doesn't seem like he really has a lot of contempt or in-depth knowledge about the art world. You could argue that this was his way of displaying that the smugness and greed that makes these people hard to distinguish from one another, but I think the hollowness and bizarre lack of bite present in the script is more of a result of being indifferent towards the subject matter he's attempting to skewer than a well thought-out creative decision. When satire is this meek, it feels like a betrayal of the genre's principles that just can't be forgiven.
This staggering lack of conviction carries over to the blending of genres. With some thought and effort behind it, the juxtaposition between the highbrow world of gallery art and blood-soaked trashiness of an R-rated supernatural horror/slasher flick could've been a very effective one. Instead, passenger... I mean director Dan creates a clumsy little Frankenstein monster of a movie that hurls overwhelmingly cheesy, cheap CGI-fueled death scenes into an otherwise stern, humorless drama. As poorly-executed as this project is on the whole, Gilroy's inability to cohesively mesh these worlds together or at least find the dark humor on either side of this genre coin is without question the most egregious sin Velvet Buzzsaw commits.
If Gilroy can take solace in anything associated with Velvet Buzzsaw, it's that his cast prevented this half-assed dud from sinking deeper into the shit pile. While nobody even comes close to meeting the peak of their abilities, this ensemble (particularly Gyllenhaal, Russo and John Malkovich) brings enough competence to the table to at least provide a glimmer of hope that the movie will find its footing (or at least a clearly-defined purpose) by the time it wraps up. It ultimately doesn't mean much, but it was nice to see someone actually try to make something out of this aimless material and that little smidge of effort should prevent Velvet Buzzsaw from landing a prime spot on my worst of 2019 list.
The setup for Velvet Buzzsaw is ideal for a huge dose of the venomous satire that made Nightcrawler so eerily effective. A mysterious death at a Los Angeles apartment complex leads to a struggling art gallery assistant (Zawe Ashton) discovering an extensive collection of paintings inside of the dead man's apartment. After setting up a public showing with the help of her boss (Rene Russo) and prestigious art critic boyfriend (Jake Gyllenhaal), the paintings become some of the most coveted pieces of art in the world. Shortly after the massive checks start clearing and a book is commissioned to discover the origins of this suddenly prolific artist, the reclusive dead man's sinister history is revealed and the large network of people profiting from his artwork slowly start getting killed off.
Despite having all of the puzzle pieces right in front of him, Gilroy never even comes close to making them fit together. With the blasé way he jumps from character to character without giving them distinctive motivations/traits and complete lack of commentary besides "people who profit off of art are self-important, money-chasing assholes that don't care about the feelings of the creator", it doesn't seem like he really has a lot of contempt or in-depth knowledge about the art world. You could argue that this was his way of displaying that the smugness and greed that makes these people hard to distinguish from one another, but I think the hollowness and bizarre lack of bite present in the script is more of a result of being indifferent towards the subject matter he's attempting to skewer than a well thought-out creative decision. When satire is this meek, it feels like a betrayal of the genre's principles that just can't be forgiven.
This staggering lack of conviction carries over to the blending of genres. With some thought and effort behind it, the juxtaposition between the highbrow world of gallery art and blood-soaked trashiness of an R-rated supernatural horror/slasher flick could've been a very effective one. Instead, passenger... I mean director Dan creates a clumsy little Frankenstein monster of a movie that hurls overwhelmingly cheesy, cheap CGI-fueled death scenes into an otherwise stern, humorless drama. As poorly-executed as this project is on the whole, Gilroy's inability to cohesively mesh these worlds together or at least find the dark humor on either side of this genre coin is without question the most egregious sin Velvet Buzzsaw commits.
If Gilroy can take solace in anything associated with Velvet Buzzsaw, it's that his cast prevented this half-assed dud from sinking deeper into the shit pile. While nobody even comes close to meeting the peak of their abilities, this ensemble (particularly Gyllenhaal, Russo and John Malkovich) brings enough competence to the table to at least provide a glimmer of hope that the movie will find its footing (or at least a clearly-defined purpose) by the time it wraps up. It ultimately doesn't mean much, but it was nice to see someone actually try to make something out of this aimless material and that little smidge of effort should prevent Velvet Buzzsaw from landing a prime spot on my worst of 2019 list.
Grade: D+
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
2018-19 NBA Midseason Power Rankings
If you were stuck in an NFL playoffs haze for the past month, you might be surprised to learn that the NBA All-Star Break is now just nine days away. I'll refrain from doing a full write-up on each team's play so far until the potential bedlam of the trade deadline has passed, but for now, here's a quick look at where I believe the league hierarchy stands at the unofficial halfway point of the season
Note: Standings are as of 2/5/19
1.Golden State Warriors (37-15)
2.Milwaukee Bucks (39-13)
3.Toronto Raptors (39-16)
4.Denver Nuggets (37-16)
5.Boston Celtics (35-19)
6.Oklahoma City Thunder (34-19)
7.Philadelphia 76ers (34-20)
8.Portland Trail Blazers (32-21)
9.Houston Rockets (31-22)
10.San Antonio Spurs (32-23)
11.Utah Jazz (30-24)
12.Indiana Pacers (35-19)
13.Brooklyn Nets (28-27)
14.Los Angeles Lakers (27-27)
15.Sacramento Kings (28-25)
16.Los Angeles Clippers (30-25)
17.Minnesota Timberwolves (25-28)
18.Miami Heat (25-27)
19.Charlotte Hornets (26-27)
20.Dallas Mavericks (24-28)
21.Detroit Pistons (24-29)
22.New Orleans Pelicans (23-31)
23.Washington Wizards (22-31)
24.Orlando Magic (22-32)
25.Memphis Grizzlies (22-33)
26.Atlanta Hawks (18-35)
27.Phoenix Suns (11-44)
28.Cleveland Cavaliers (11-43)
29.New York Knicks (10-43)
30.Chicago Bulls (12-41)
Note: Standings are as of 2/5/19
1.Golden State Warriors (37-15)
2.Milwaukee Bucks (39-13)
3.Toronto Raptors (39-16)
4.Denver Nuggets (37-16)
5.Boston Celtics (35-19)
6.Oklahoma City Thunder (34-19)
7.Philadelphia 76ers (34-20)
8.Portland Trail Blazers (32-21)
9.Houston Rockets (31-22)
10.San Antonio Spurs (32-23)
11.Utah Jazz (30-24)
12.Indiana Pacers (35-19)
13.Brooklyn Nets (28-27)
14.Los Angeles Lakers (27-27)
15.Sacramento Kings (28-25)
16.Los Angeles Clippers (30-25)
17.Minnesota Timberwolves (25-28)
18.Miami Heat (25-27)
19.Charlotte Hornets (26-27)
20.Dallas Mavericks (24-28)
21.Detroit Pistons (24-29)
22.New Orleans Pelicans (23-31)
23.Washington Wizards (22-31)
24.Orlando Magic (22-32)
25.Memphis Grizzlies (22-33)
26.Atlanta Hawks (18-35)
27.Phoenix Suns (11-44)
28.Cleveland Cavaliers (11-43)
29.New York Knicks (10-43)
30.Chicago Bulls (12-41)
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Movie Review: Polar
_poster.jpeg)
You'll more than likely know by the time the title card is shown whether or not Polar is for you. This is the type of movie where relentless sex, violence, sick humor and general anarchy are tightly weaved into a hyperactive two hour package that's essentially begging for a strong visceral reaction. If that description didn't make you roll your eyes or turn up your nose in disgust, then you should definitely consider adding this proudly over-the-top actioner to your watchlist.
While its tonal inconsistencies and relative lack of laugh-out-loud moments prevent it from matching the demented genius of Shoot Em' Up and the Crank series, Polar remains a largely confident and well-crafted piece of exploitation. The frequent action scenes and very simple plot centered around a nearly 50-year old hitman (Mads Mikkelsen) whose being hunted down by his employers (Matt Lucas, Katheryn Winnick) so they don't have to pay him the $8 million they owe him upon his upcoming retirement are staged with a pretty ideal amount of freneticism. The story has a great sense of momentum and each cartoonish shootout possesses the constant quick cuts that this genre is known for without ever descending into indecipherable chaos.
Like any quality grimefest, the secret weapon underneath all of Polar's stylish carnage is its cast. Mikkelsen is a stoic badass protagonist, Lucas establishes himself as the embodiment of this absurd criminal underworld with a hilarious performance as the primary villain and Vanessa Hudgens' sensitive turn as a neighbor of Mikkelsen's character who struggles with PTSD stemming from a horrific childhood incident makes the more serious moments far less jarring than they could've been. There's enough issues with the script that a less committed group of actors could've further exploited, so kudos to this ensemble for helping this project reach its potential.
Polar scratched a very particular itch that had been ignored since Hardcore Henry shot onto the scene nearly 3 years ago. Hopefully Netflix retains their commitment to releasing B-movies because a few projects in this gruesomely entertaining, tongue-in-cheek mold every year would warm my trash action-addicted heart.
Grade: B
Monday, February 4, 2019
The Best and Worst of Alison Brie
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” star Alison Brie.
Films starring Alison Brie that I've seen:
Scream 4
The Five-Year Engagement
The Kings of Summer
The Lego Movie
Get Hard
Sleeping with Other People
How to Be Single
Get a Job
Joshy
The Little Hours
The Disaster Artist
Best Performance: Sleeping with Other People (2015)
Sleeping with Other People is the only time I've felt Brie has been able to bring the electricity she routinely brings to her TV projects to the big screen. She's bitter, hilarious and shares a great rapport with love interest Jason Sudeikis in this great "two assholes fall in love" romcom.
Worst Performance: The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
My Mt. Rushmore of all time bad movie accents has to include Brie's horrendous attempt at a British accent in The Five-Year Engagement. She sounds like an American bro being asked to do an impromptu, stereotypical phrase-filled impression of someone from across the pond after they've spent half the night pounding Bud Lights. It also doesn't help that her character isn't given a lot of jokes and almost exclusively shared scenes with a real British person in Emily Blunt-which only drew more attention to her shaky accent.
Best Film: The Disaster Artist (2017)
While I haven't read a lot of books in my day, I can say with total confidence that The Disaster Artist is my favorite big screen adaptation ever. Through its spot-on acting, near non-stop hilarity and excellent writing that nails the tone of the source material, The Disaster Artist masterfully chronicles the stunningly inept production of The Room and how the now-legendary finished product eventually fulfilled Tommy Wiseau's dream of becoming a movie star.
Worst Film: The Little Hours (2017)
A sex comedy based around a convent of nuns that stars the likes of Aubrey Plaza, Brie, Kate Micucci, Dave Franco, John C. Riley, Fred Armisen, Molly Shannon and Nick Offerman really should've been awesome. Hell, even reading back that sentence right now makes me think that there's a 100% chance that The Little Hours would rule. Unfortunately, Jeff Baena somehow wasted this brilliant premise and heavyweight cast on an insufferably dull, weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird comedy that's easily among the most unfunny movies I've seen recently.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Alita: Battle Angel” star Michelle Rodriguez.
Films starring Alison Brie that I've seen:
Scream 4
The Five-Year Engagement
The Kings of Summer
The Lego Movie
Get Hard
Sleeping with Other People
How to Be Single
Get a Job
Joshy
The Little Hours
The Disaster Artist
Best Performance: Sleeping with Other People (2015)
Sleeping with Other People is the only time I've felt Brie has been able to bring the electricity she routinely brings to her TV projects to the big screen. She's bitter, hilarious and shares a great rapport with love interest Jason Sudeikis in this great "two assholes fall in love" romcom.
Worst Performance: The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
My Mt. Rushmore of all time bad movie accents has to include Brie's horrendous attempt at a British accent in The Five-Year Engagement. She sounds like an American bro being asked to do an impromptu, stereotypical phrase-filled impression of someone from across the pond after they've spent half the night pounding Bud Lights. It also doesn't help that her character isn't given a lot of jokes and almost exclusively shared scenes with a real British person in Emily Blunt-which only drew more attention to her shaky accent.
Best Film: The Disaster Artist (2017)
While I haven't read a lot of books in my day, I can say with total confidence that The Disaster Artist is my favorite big screen adaptation ever. Through its spot-on acting, near non-stop hilarity and excellent writing that nails the tone of the source material, The Disaster Artist masterfully chronicles the stunningly inept production of The Room and how the now-legendary finished product eventually fulfilled Tommy Wiseau's dream of becoming a movie star.
Worst Film: The Little Hours (2017)
A sex comedy based around a convent of nuns that stars the likes of Aubrey Plaza, Brie, Kate Micucci, Dave Franco, John C. Riley, Fred Armisen, Molly Shannon and Nick Offerman really should've been awesome. Hell, even reading back that sentence right now makes me think that there's a 100% chance that The Little Hours would rule. Unfortunately, Jeff Baena somehow wasted this brilliant premise and heavyweight cast on an insufferably dull, weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird comedy that's easily among the most unfunny movies I've seen recently.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Alita: Battle Angel” star Michelle Rodriguez.
Friday, February 1, 2019
Super Bowl 53 Prediction
Conference Championship record: 1-1 (Correct: Patriots Incorrect: Saints)
Overall record: 5-5
New England Patriots over Los Angeles Rams: Recent history is riddled with examples of teams that rode a wave of lucky breaks, whether it was via bad officiating or some kind of miracle play, to a playoff W then turned around and lost their next game (2011 Patriots, 2014 Seahawks, 2017 Vikings). While I feel the Saints inability to score TD's on their early possessions and heinous opening drive in OT that ended with Drew Brees throwing a costly INT that allowed the Rams to kick the game-winning field goal played a sizable role in determining their unfortunate fate, Nickell Robey-Coleman's unflagged mugging/headbutting of Tommylee Lewis undeniably helped the Rams win the NFC Conference Championship Game and has subsequently made them susceptible to the unforgiving wrath of The Football Gods this week.
Even if I didn't let silly superstitions serve as the driving force behind my pick, I'd take the Patriots in this game. The manufactured "NO ONE BELIEVES IN US" card they've been playing since the playoffs started has lit a fire under their asses that's unlike anything I've seen from since at least 2014 when they knocked off the aforementioned Seahawks in Super Bowl 49. The Rams have a lot of vets that have stepped up big during this playoff run (Robert Woods, C.J. Anderson, Ndamukong Suh, Aqib Talib, Marcus Peters), but I just don't think they have what it takes from a mental or X and O's standpoint to knock off a team full of trained killers that's this dialed-in.
It also doesn't help that Todd Gurley, who is exactly the type of skilled pass-catching back that could give the Patriots slow linebackers fits, is a shell of himself right now thanks to an undisclosed injury that has severely limited his snaps all playoffs long, Wade Phillips has had very minimal success scheming against Tom Brady's quick release/short-to-intermediate passing game and Jared Goff's tendency to make bad throws while under pressure is exactly the type of fatal flaw Bill Belichick can easily exploit. Sean McVay's creativity as a playcaller and the Rams deep arsenal of receiving threats that match up favorably against the Patriots defensive backs not named Stephon Gillmore should help keep things close, but I just feel like this will end up being another well-earned victory lap for the most impressive dynasty in the NFL, if not professional sports history.
Overall record: 5-5
New England Patriots over Los Angeles Rams: Recent history is riddled with examples of teams that rode a wave of lucky breaks, whether it was via bad officiating or some kind of miracle play, to a playoff W then turned around and lost their next game (2011 Patriots, 2014 Seahawks, 2017 Vikings). While I feel the Saints inability to score TD's on their early possessions and heinous opening drive in OT that ended with Drew Brees throwing a costly INT that allowed the Rams to kick the game-winning field goal played a sizable role in determining their unfortunate fate, Nickell Robey-Coleman's unflagged mugging/headbutting of Tommylee Lewis undeniably helped the Rams win the NFC Conference Championship Game and has subsequently made them susceptible to the unforgiving wrath of The Football Gods this week.
Even if I didn't let silly superstitions serve as the driving force behind my pick, I'd take the Patriots in this game. The manufactured "NO ONE BELIEVES IN US" card they've been playing since the playoffs started has lit a fire under their asses that's unlike anything I've seen from since at least 2014 when they knocked off the aforementioned Seahawks in Super Bowl 49. The Rams have a lot of vets that have stepped up big during this playoff run (Robert Woods, C.J. Anderson, Ndamukong Suh, Aqib Talib, Marcus Peters), but I just don't think they have what it takes from a mental or X and O's standpoint to knock off a team full of trained killers that's this dialed-in.
It also doesn't help that Todd Gurley, who is exactly the type of skilled pass-catching back that could give the Patriots slow linebackers fits, is a shell of himself right now thanks to an undisclosed injury that has severely limited his snaps all playoffs long, Wade Phillips has had very minimal success scheming against Tom Brady's quick release/short-to-intermediate passing game and Jared Goff's tendency to make bad throws while under pressure is exactly the type of fatal flaw Bill Belichick can easily exploit. Sean McVay's creativity as a playcaller and the Rams deep arsenal of receiving threats that match up favorably against the Patriots defensive backs not named Stephon Gillmore should help keep things close, but I just feel like this will end up being another well-earned victory lap for the most impressive dynasty in the NFL, if not professional sports history.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)