What better way to cap off a month full of 2019 recaps than celebrating the biggest, boldest and best action sequences the movie industry birthed during the final year of the decade? Here are the 10 fistfights, shootouts and other acts of staged violence that warmed the genre fanboy section of my heart the most during this tremendous period for cinema.
Note: It may seem unfair that I'm not featuring a wider variety of movies here, but I genuinely feel like the handful of films celebrated below were far above everything else this year in the action department (with the exceptions of Dark Phoenix, Alita: Battle Angel, Anna and Polar- which contained well-crafted scenes that fell just short of the honorable mentions section).
Honorable Mentions:
"I'm Just a Girl"-Captain Marvel
"Final Fight"-Gemini Man
"Hobbs vs.Hattie/Shaw vs. Henchmen"-Hobbs &Shaw
"Penthouse Fight"-Stuber
"Prison Escape"-Terminator: Dark Fate
10."Sporting Goods Store Fight"-Stuber
If the wit and off-the-wall energy present in its action sequences carried over to the more traditional comedic aspects of the film, Stuber would've been a new buddy cop classic. This hilarious fight scene makes great use of its unusual environment while also serving as a necessary moment of catharsis for its feuding protagonists (Dave Bautista, Kumail Nanjiani).
9."Catacombs Fight"-Gemini Man
While it may lack the unforgettable money shot of young Will Smith hurling a motorcycle at old Will Smith that concludes their first encounter, the second Smith v. Smith showdown that takes place in the unfairly maligned Gemini Man features cleaner editing, better fight choreography and less wonky CGI.
8."Chase Through Florence"-6 Underground
Opening 6 Underground with a 15+ minute car chase (the highlights of which are above) through the scenic streets of Florence, Italy is the most pure display of Michael Bay's signature excess to date. Big thanks to the always fiscally irresponsible Netflix for making this thing of explosion-and-impalement-filled beauty possible.
7."Motorcycle Sword Fight"-John Wick:Chapter 3-Parabellum
John Wick: Chapter 3 is such a masterclass in action filmmaking that a badass motorcycle chase that sees Wick dispatching a fleet of sword-wielding assassins isn't even in the top three best scenes from the movie, which is both a testament to this franchise's high quality and an indictment on the vast majority of the other people in the industry that can't even sniff the level of precision and creativity that's brought to every single fight scene here.
6."John Rambo's Sadistic Take on Home Alone"-Rambo: Last Blood
Brutally mowing down about two dozen bad guys in a booby trap-filled tunnel on his property is an appropriately depraved way to conclude the vicious cycle of violence that has defined the character of John Rambo throughout Sylvester Stallone's icon franchise.
5."Escaping Eteon Headquarters"-Hobbs & Shaw
Sure Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham and Vanessa Kirby kick all sorts of ass in this crucial sequence at the midpoint of the terrific Fast and Furious spinoff, but the sheer euphoric lunacy that stems from respected veteran character actor Eddie Marsan going H.A.M with a flamethrower is what elevates this above the previous entries on this list.
4."Hallway Fight"-Hobbs & Shaw
By Fast and Furious standards, this scene is downright grounded. Questionable physics, superhero acts of strength or flying cars are nowhere to be found during this 4 minute snippet. Instead, director David Leitch just lets Jason Statham show off his hand-to-hand fighting ability in an exquisitely-staged martial arts showcase that is every bit as exciting as the over-the-top setpieces that have turned this franchise into a global phenomenon over the past eight years.
3."Defending the Continental"-John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
To be completely honest, this might've been the highlight of the movie in the theater. The ridiculous Dolby setup at AMC made you feel the weight of every shotgun blast and assault rifle round fired. It loses a little bit of its power upon rewatch at home, but it's still a dazzling, claustropbic shootout that is among the most visceral this franchise has concocted to-date.
2."Casablanca"-John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
John Wick never really had a running mate on the battlefield in the prior two installments and this partnering with his old friend Sofia (Halle Berry) shows that even the Baba Yaga gets elevated when he has a team around him. Having an equal to Wick fight alongside him gave director Chad Stahelski and the fight/stunt team an invitation to up the ante, and they unsurprisingly did just by staging a delightfully chaotic scene that features a slew of "holy shit" moments (Wick's quick reload staredown, Sofia sliding under a cart while her dogs jump over it before shooting two guys, at least a half dozen more).
1."Antique Weapon Shop Fight"-John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
There is no greater example of the more playful, martial arts-driven fight scenes that made John Wick 3 the clear best entry in the series thus far than this. Watching Wick and his opponents frantically break glass inside of an abandoned antique weapon shop so they can throw knives and axes at each other is sincerely one of the most inspired, funny and badass things I've ever seen in a movie.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Top 25 Hip-Hop Beats of 2019
2019 year end list season is just about over, so that means its time to get into the really nerdy shit that I obsess over starting today with a dive into the wonderful world of hip hop production. Here are the 25 beats from the past 12 months that impressed me the most.
Just Missed the Cut:
2 Chainz-High Top Versace (feat. Young Thug) (Producer: ATL Jacob)
Denzel Curry-P.A.T. (feat. PlayThatBoiZay) (Producers: FnZ and Ronny J)
Gunna-Baby Birkin (Producers: Wheezy and B-Rackz)
Rico Nasty and Kenny Beats-Cheat Code (Producers: Baauer and Kenny Beats)
Young Thug-Surf (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
25.Lil Uzi Vert-Futsal Shuffle 2020 (Producers: Brandon Finessin, Starboy, Mayyzo and Loesoe)
24.Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Long Ride (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
23.Megan Thee Stallion-Realer (Producer: LilJuMadeDaBeat)
22.2 Chainz-Whip (feat. Travis Scott) (Producers: WondaGurl and Mike Dean)
21.Lil Pump-Nu Uh (Producers: Andrew Canton, MISOGI, Danny Wolf and David Morse)
20.Denzel Curry-Ricky (Producer: FnZ)
19.Young Thug-Mannequin Challenge (feat. Juice WRLD) (Producers: J. Cole and T-Minus)
18.Gunna-Derek Fisher (feat. Lil Baby) (Producers: Turbo and Trell Got Wings)
17.Gunna-Richard Millie Plain (Producers: Turbo and Ghetto Guitar)
16.Megan Thee Stallion-Money Good (Producer: DJ Chose)
15.Danny Brown-Negro Spiritual (feat. JPEGMAFIA) (Producer: Flying Lotus)
14.Trippie Redd-Under Enemy Arms (Producers: Hammad Beats and Matthew Crabtree)
13.Young Thug- Ecstasy (Producers: DY and 12Hunna)
12.Gunna-Yao Ming (Producers: Wheezy and Turbo)
11.BROCKHAMPTON-NO HALO (Producers: Jabari Manwa and Romil Hemnani)
10.Denzel Curry-Carolmart (feat. Ice Billion Berg) (Producers: FnZ and Jasper Harris)
9.Young Thug-Hot (feat. Gunna) (Producer: Wheezy)
8.Gunna-Who You Foolin (Producer: Wheezy)
7.Travis Scott-Highest in the Room (Producers: OZ, Nik D and Mike Dean)
6.Danny Brown-Savage Nomad (Producer: Playa Haze)
5.Gunna-Out the Hood (Producers: Turbo and Keyyz)
4.Denzel Curry-Wish (feat. Kiddo Marv) (Producers: Charlie Heat, FnZ and Mickey de Grand IV)
3.Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Dispatch (feat. DaBaby) (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
2.Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Shotta (feat. Megan Thee Stallion) (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
1.Denzel Curry-Birdz (feat. Rick Ross) (Producer: FnZ)
Just Missed the Cut:
2 Chainz-High Top Versace (feat. Young Thug) (Producer: ATL Jacob)
Denzel Curry-P.A.T. (feat. PlayThatBoiZay) (Producers: FnZ and Ronny J)
Gunna-Baby Birkin (Producers: Wheezy and B-Rackz)
Rico Nasty and Kenny Beats-Cheat Code (Producers: Baauer and Kenny Beats)
Young Thug-Surf (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
25.Lil Uzi Vert-Futsal Shuffle 2020 (Producers: Brandon Finessin, Starboy, Mayyzo and Loesoe)
24.Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Long Ride (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
23.Megan Thee Stallion-Realer (Producer: LilJuMadeDaBeat)
22.2 Chainz-Whip (feat. Travis Scott) (Producers: WondaGurl and Mike Dean)
21.Lil Pump-Nu Uh (Producers: Andrew Canton, MISOGI, Danny Wolf and David Morse)
20.Denzel Curry-Ricky (Producer: FnZ)
19.Young Thug-Mannequin Challenge (feat. Juice WRLD) (Producers: J. Cole and T-Minus)
18.Gunna-Derek Fisher (feat. Lil Baby) (Producers: Turbo and Trell Got Wings)
17.Gunna-Richard Millie Plain (Producers: Turbo and Ghetto Guitar)
16.Megan Thee Stallion-Money Good (Producer: DJ Chose)
15.Danny Brown-Negro Spiritual (feat. JPEGMAFIA) (Producer: Flying Lotus)
14.Trippie Redd-Under Enemy Arms (Producers: Hammad Beats and Matthew Crabtree)
13.Young Thug- Ecstasy (Producers: DY and 12Hunna)
12.Gunna-Yao Ming (Producers: Wheezy and Turbo)
11.BROCKHAMPTON-NO HALO (Producers: Jabari Manwa and Romil Hemnani)
10.Denzel Curry-Carolmart (feat. Ice Billion Berg) (Producers: FnZ and Jasper Harris)
9.Young Thug-Hot (feat. Gunna) (Producer: Wheezy)
8.Gunna-Who You Foolin (Producer: Wheezy)
7.Travis Scott-Highest in the Room (Producers: OZ, Nik D and Mike Dean)
6.Danny Brown-Savage Nomad (Producer: Playa Haze)
5.Gunna-Out the Hood (Producers: Turbo and Keyyz)
4.Denzel Curry-Wish (feat. Kiddo Marv) (Producers: Charlie Heat, FnZ and Mickey de Grand IV)
3.Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Dispatch (feat. DaBaby) (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
2.Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Shotta (feat. Megan Thee Stallion) (Producer: Pi'erre Bourne)
1.Denzel Curry-Birdz (feat. Rick Ross) (Producer: FnZ)
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
2019 NFL Year-End Awards+All-Pro Teams+2020 Pro Football Hall of Fame Inductee Predictions
MVP: Lamar Jackson, quarterback (Ravens)
His relatively lackluster performance in the Divisional Round can't possibly overshadow all of the great things Jackson did this season. To put it simply, Jackson flat-out owned the league in 2019. While he delivered plenty of eye-popping stats (44 total TD's, NFL record 1,206 rushing YDS for a QB, 113.3 QBR, only 6 INT's on 401 passing attempts) and absurd highlight reel plays, what impressed me the most was the composure he showed during the Ravens 12-game win streak that included victories over 5 playoff teams (Seahawks, Patriots, Texans, 49ers, Bills) and the strides he made as a passer under the tutelage of new OC Greg Roman after a pretty rough rookie season through the air. Hopefully this is just the opening act of a long reign of dominance for one of the most electric players I've ever had the pleasure of watching.
Honorable Mentions: Russell Wilson, quarterback (Seahawks), Michael Thomas, wide receiver (Saints), Christian McCaffery, running back (Panthers)
Offensive Player of the Year: Michael Thomas, wide receiver (Saints)
If this was a just system where non-QB's received legitimate consideration, Thomas would be in the MVP conversation. Not only he did set a new single season record for receptions (149), average nearly 108 receiving YDS per game, catch over 80% of his targets and post 9 TD's for the 3rd time in 4 seasons, he did all of this while in a Saints offense that lacked consistently viable secondary options in the passing game, didn't run the ball overly well (16th in the league) and was without Drew Brees for 5 games. Even for a guy that has displayed the remarkable level of consistency that Thomas has over his inaugural 4 seasons in the league, this is going to be a hard campaign to top.
Honorable Mentions: Christian McCaffery (Panthers), Derrick Henry (Titans), George Kittle (49ers)
Defensive Player of the Year: T.J. Watt, outside linebacker (Steelers)
It's weird to have a year where there's no clear frontrunner for Defensive Player of the Year. Instead of someone absolutely dominating the way Aaron Donald, J.J. Watt and Luke Kuechly did in recent years, there was about a half dozen or so guys that put together very good seasons. Of this bunch, I have to give the edge to T.J. Watt. With his smarts, explosiveness and versatile playmaking (55 tackles, 14.5 sacks, 36 QB hits, 14 TFL's, 8 passes defensed, 2 INT's, 4 fumble recoveries, a league-leading 8 forced fumbles) on the edge that is reminiscent of his older brother, Watt emerged as the anchor of a vicious, takeaway-happy Steelers defense that kept this team competitive during a year where a rash of devastating injuries severely limited their offense all season long.
Honorable Mentions: Aaron Donald, defensive tackle (Rams), Eric Kendricks, inside linebacker (Vikings), Richard Sherman, cornerback (49ers)
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Josh Jacobs, running back (Raiders)
Jon Gruden's old school meathead approach to coaching yielded far better results in year 2 and Jacobs-who rushed for 1,150 YDS and 7 TD's in just 13 games-was instrumental to that (relative) success. Having a tough, powerful workhorse back that averaged nearly 5 yards per carry not only allowed Gruden's primitive scheme to look good, but it also took the pressure off of Derek Carr to try and make things happen with an undermanned group of pass catchers. If Jacobs can stay healthy, he should become one of the best backs in the league in no time at all.
Honorable Mentions: A.J. Brown, wide receiver (Titans), Terry McLaurin, wide receiver (Redskins), DK Metcalf, wide receiver (Seahawks)
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Nick Bosa, defensive end (49ers)
Overcoming an injury-plagued offseason, Bosa proved to be as advertised during his rookie campaign. The lethal edge rusher out of Ohio State emerged as one of the focal points on a terrific 49ers front, amassing an impressive 47 tackles, 9 sacks, 25 QB hits, 2 fumble recoveries and an INT all while staying healthy for the duration of the season.
Honorable Mentions: Josh Allen, outside linebacker (Jaguars), Dexter Lawrence, defensive tackle (Giants), Devin Bush, inside linebacker (Steelers)
Comeback Player of the Year: Ryan Tannehill, quarterback (Titans)
It only took 8 seasons, but Tannehill finally had the breakout season many analysts/fans had been forecasting since he entered the league back in 2012 and it came under particularly unlikely circumstances. After replacing the struggling Marcus Mariota at quarterback in Week 7, Tannehill's staggeringly efficient and effective play (2,742 YDS, 22 TD's, 6 INT's, 70.3 CMP%, 117.5 QBR) under center helped the Titans win 7 of their last 10 games and secure the #6 playoff seed in the AFC. Enjoy your next big payday Mr.Tannehill, you've earned it.
Honorable Mentions: Cooper Kupp (Rams), Jimmy Garoppolo (49ers), Earl Thomas (Ravens)
Coach of the Year: Mike Vrabel (Titans)
John Harbaugh is a heavy favorite to win the official award on Saturday night and rightfully so, he oversaw a juggernaut that ripped off 12 straight wins to end the regular season. However, what Vrabel accomplished this season left far more of an impression on me. Even if you exclude (which the voters do as they turn in their ballots for these awards at the end of December) their improbable run to the AFC Championship, Vrabel brought this team to the playoffs after a poor 2-4 start by having the guts to make a midseason QB change and instilling a remarkable level of mental and physical toughness into his players that carried over to their play on the field.
Honorable Mentions: John Harbaugh (Ravens), Kyle Shanahan (49ers), Matt LaFluer (Packers)
All-Pro Teams:
Quarterback:
1st team: Lamar Jackson (Ravens)
2nd team: Russell Wilson (Sehawks)
Running Back:
1st team: Christian McCaffery (Panthers), Derrick Henry (Titans)
2nd team: Dalvin Cook (Vikings), Nick Chubb (Browns)
Wide Receiver
1st team: Michael Thomas (Saints), Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)
2nd team: Julio Jones (Falcons), DeAndre Hopkins (Texans)
Tight End:
1st team: George Kittle (49ers)
2nd team: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
Tackle:
1st team: Ronnie Stanley (Ravens), Ryan Ramcyzk (Saints)
2nd team: Jason Peters (Eagles), Lane Johnson (Eagles)
Guard
1st team: Quenton Nelson (Colts), Brandon Brooks (Eagles)
2nd team: Zack Martin (Cowboys), Marshal Yanda (Ravens)
Center
1st team: Jason Kelce (Eagles)
2nd team: Ben Jones (Titans)
Defensive End
1st team: Cameron Heyward (Steelers), Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2nd team: Calias Campbell (Jaguars), Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
Defensive Tackle
1st team: Aaron Donald (Rams), Grady Jarrett (Falcons)
2nd team: DeForest Buckner (49ers), Fletcher Cox (Eagles)
Outside Linebacker
1st team: T.J. Watt (Steelers), Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2nd team: Lavonte David (Buccaneers), Shaq Barrett (Buccaneers)
Inside Linebacker
1st team: Eric Kendricks (Vikings), Demario Davis (Saints)
2nd team: Luke Kuechly (Panthers), Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)
Cornerback
1st team: Richard Sherman (49ers), Tre'Davious White (Bills)
2nd team: Stephon Gilmore (Patriots), Marcus Peters (Rams/Ravens)
Safety
1st team: Justin Simmons (Broncos), Minkah Fitzpatrick (Dolphins/Steelers)
2nd team: Jamal Adams (Jets), Tyrann Mathieu (Chiefs)
Kicker
1st team: Justin Tucker (Ravens)
2nd team: Josh Lambo (Jaguars)
Punter
1st team: Brett Kern (Titans)
2nd team: Tress Way (Redskins)
Return Specialist
1st team: Deonte Harris (Saints), Cordarrelle Patterson (Bears)
2nd team: Dionate Johnson (Steelers), Mecole Hardman (Chiefs)
Special Teamer:
1st team: Matthew Slater (Patriots)
2nd team: J.T. Gray (Saints)
Pro Football Hall of Fame Class of 2020 Inductee Predictions:
Isaac Bruce, wide receiver (Teams: St. Louis Rams/San Francisco 49ers)
Alan Faneca, guard (Teams: Pittsburgh Steelers/New York Jets/Arizona Cardinals)
Edgerrin James, running back (Teams: Indianapolis Colts/Arizona Cardinals/Seattle Seahawks)
John Lynch, safety (Teams: Tampa Bay Buccaneers/Denver Broncos)
Troy Polamalu, safety (Team: Pittsburgh Steelers)
Who I'd Vote for If I Had a Ballot:
Issac Bruce
Alan Fancea
Steve Hutchinson, guard (Teams: Seattle Seahawks/Minnesota Vikings)
Troy Polamalu
Richard Seymour, defensive end/tackle (Teams: New England Patriots/Oakland Raiders)
His relatively lackluster performance in the Divisional Round can't possibly overshadow all of the great things Jackson did this season. To put it simply, Jackson flat-out owned the league in 2019. While he delivered plenty of eye-popping stats (44 total TD's, NFL record 1,206 rushing YDS for a QB, 113.3 QBR, only 6 INT's on 401 passing attempts) and absurd highlight reel plays, what impressed me the most was the composure he showed during the Ravens 12-game win streak that included victories over 5 playoff teams (Seahawks, Patriots, Texans, 49ers, Bills) and the strides he made as a passer under the tutelage of new OC Greg Roman after a pretty rough rookie season through the air. Hopefully this is just the opening act of a long reign of dominance for one of the most electric players I've ever had the pleasure of watching.
Honorable Mentions: Russell Wilson, quarterback (Seahawks), Michael Thomas, wide receiver (Saints), Christian McCaffery, running back (Panthers)
Offensive Player of the Year: Michael Thomas, wide receiver (Saints)
If this was a just system where non-QB's received legitimate consideration, Thomas would be in the MVP conversation. Not only he did set a new single season record for receptions (149), average nearly 108 receiving YDS per game, catch over 80% of his targets and post 9 TD's for the 3rd time in 4 seasons, he did all of this while in a Saints offense that lacked consistently viable secondary options in the passing game, didn't run the ball overly well (16th in the league) and was without Drew Brees for 5 games. Even for a guy that has displayed the remarkable level of consistency that Thomas has over his inaugural 4 seasons in the league, this is going to be a hard campaign to top.
Honorable Mentions: Christian McCaffery (Panthers), Derrick Henry (Titans), George Kittle (49ers)
Defensive Player of the Year: T.J. Watt, outside linebacker (Steelers)
It's weird to have a year where there's no clear frontrunner for Defensive Player of the Year. Instead of someone absolutely dominating the way Aaron Donald, J.J. Watt and Luke Kuechly did in recent years, there was about a half dozen or so guys that put together very good seasons. Of this bunch, I have to give the edge to T.J. Watt. With his smarts, explosiveness and versatile playmaking (55 tackles, 14.5 sacks, 36 QB hits, 14 TFL's, 8 passes defensed, 2 INT's, 4 fumble recoveries, a league-leading 8 forced fumbles) on the edge that is reminiscent of his older brother, Watt emerged as the anchor of a vicious, takeaway-happy Steelers defense that kept this team competitive during a year where a rash of devastating injuries severely limited their offense all season long.
Honorable Mentions: Aaron Donald, defensive tackle (Rams), Eric Kendricks, inside linebacker (Vikings), Richard Sherman, cornerback (49ers)
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Josh Jacobs, running back (Raiders)
Jon Gruden's old school meathead approach to coaching yielded far better results in year 2 and Jacobs-who rushed for 1,150 YDS and 7 TD's in just 13 games-was instrumental to that (relative) success. Having a tough, powerful workhorse back that averaged nearly 5 yards per carry not only allowed Gruden's primitive scheme to look good, but it also took the pressure off of Derek Carr to try and make things happen with an undermanned group of pass catchers. If Jacobs can stay healthy, he should become one of the best backs in the league in no time at all.
Honorable Mentions: A.J. Brown, wide receiver (Titans), Terry McLaurin, wide receiver (Redskins), DK Metcalf, wide receiver (Seahawks)
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Nick Bosa, defensive end (49ers)
Overcoming an injury-plagued offseason, Bosa proved to be as advertised during his rookie campaign. The lethal edge rusher out of Ohio State emerged as one of the focal points on a terrific 49ers front, amassing an impressive 47 tackles, 9 sacks, 25 QB hits, 2 fumble recoveries and an INT all while staying healthy for the duration of the season.
Honorable Mentions: Josh Allen, outside linebacker (Jaguars), Dexter Lawrence, defensive tackle (Giants), Devin Bush, inside linebacker (Steelers)
Comeback Player of the Year: Ryan Tannehill, quarterback (Titans)
It only took 8 seasons, but Tannehill finally had the breakout season many analysts/fans had been forecasting since he entered the league back in 2012 and it came under particularly unlikely circumstances. After replacing the struggling Marcus Mariota at quarterback in Week 7, Tannehill's staggeringly efficient and effective play (2,742 YDS, 22 TD's, 6 INT's, 70.3 CMP%, 117.5 QBR) under center helped the Titans win 7 of their last 10 games and secure the #6 playoff seed in the AFC. Enjoy your next big payday Mr.Tannehill, you've earned it.
Honorable Mentions: Cooper Kupp (Rams), Jimmy Garoppolo (49ers), Earl Thomas (Ravens)
Coach of the Year: Mike Vrabel (Titans)
John Harbaugh is a heavy favorite to win the official award on Saturday night and rightfully so, he oversaw a juggernaut that ripped off 12 straight wins to end the regular season. However, what Vrabel accomplished this season left far more of an impression on me. Even if you exclude (which the voters do as they turn in their ballots for these awards at the end of December) their improbable run to the AFC Championship, Vrabel brought this team to the playoffs after a poor 2-4 start by having the guts to make a midseason QB change and instilling a remarkable level of mental and physical toughness into his players that carried over to their play on the field.
Honorable Mentions: John Harbaugh (Ravens), Kyle Shanahan (49ers), Matt LaFluer (Packers)
All-Pro Teams:
Quarterback:
1st team: Lamar Jackson (Ravens)
2nd team: Russell Wilson (Sehawks)
Running Back:
1st team: Christian McCaffery (Panthers), Derrick Henry (Titans)
2nd team: Dalvin Cook (Vikings), Nick Chubb (Browns)
Wide Receiver
1st team: Michael Thomas (Saints), Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)
2nd team: Julio Jones (Falcons), DeAndre Hopkins (Texans)
Tight End:
1st team: George Kittle (49ers)
2nd team: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
Tackle:
1st team: Ronnie Stanley (Ravens), Ryan Ramcyzk (Saints)
2nd team: Jason Peters (Eagles), Lane Johnson (Eagles)
Guard
1st team: Quenton Nelson (Colts), Brandon Brooks (Eagles)
2nd team: Zack Martin (Cowboys), Marshal Yanda (Ravens)
Center
1st team: Jason Kelce (Eagles)
2nd team: Ben Jones (Titans)
Defensive End
1st team: Cameron Heyward (Steelers), Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2nd team: Calias Campbell (Jaguars), Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
Defensive Tackle
1st team: Aaron Donald (Rams), Grady Jarrett (Falcons)
2nd team: DeForest Buckner (49ers), Fletcher Cox (Eagles)
Outside Linebacker
1st team: T.J. Watt (Steelers), Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2nd team: Lavonte David (Buccaneers), Shaq Barrett (Buccaneers)
Inside Linebacker
1st team: Eric Kendricks (Vikings), Demario Davis (Saints)
2nd team: Luke Kuechly (Panthers), Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)
Cornerback
1st team: Richard Sherman (49ers), Tre'Davious White (Bills)
2nd team: Stephon Gilmore (Patriots), Marcus Peters (Rams/Ravens)
Safety
1st team: Justin Simmons (Broncos), Minkah Fitzpatrick (Dolphins/Steelers)
2nd team: Jamal Adams (Jets), Tyrann Mathieu (Chiefs)
Kicker
1st team: Justin Tucker (Ravens)
2nd team: Josh Lambo (Jaguars)
Punter
1st team: Brett Kern (Titans)
2nd team: Tress Way (Redskins)
Return Specialist
1st team: Deonte Harris (Saints), Cordarrelle Patterson (Bears)
2nd team: Dionate Johnson (Steelers), Mecole Hardman (Chiefs)
Special Teamer:
1st team: Matthew Slater (Patriots)
2nd team: J.T. Gray (Saints)
Pro Football Hall of Fame Class of 2020 Inductee Predictions:
Isaac Bruce, wide receiver (Teams: St. Louis Rams/San Francisco 49ers)
Alan Faneca, guard (Teams: Pittsburgh Steelers/New York Jets/Arizona Cardinals)
Edgerrin James, running back (Teams: Indianapolis Colts/Arizona Cardinals/Seattle Seahawks)
John Lynch, safety (Teams: Tampa Bay Buccaneers/Denver Broncos)
Troy Polamalu, safety (Team: Pittsburgh Steelers)
Who I'd Vote for If I Had a Ballot:
Issac Bruce
Alan Fancea
Steve Hutchinson, guard (Teams: Seattle Seahawks/Minnesota Vikings)
Troy Polamalu
Richard Seymour, defensive end/tackle (Teams: New England Patriots/Oakland Raiders)
Monday, January 27, 2020
The Best and Worst of Blake Lively
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “The Rhythm Section” star Blake Lively.
Films starring Blake Lively that I've seen:
Accepted
The Town
Green Lantern
Savages
The Age of Adaline
The Shallows
Café Society
A Simple Favor
Best Performance: A Simple Favor (2018)
Lively's substantial growth as an actor in recent years has been great to watch and the amount of time and effort she's put into working on her craft was on full display in A Simple Favor. Turning in a funny, imposing and downright devious performance as a mysterious fashion executive who suddenly disappears that helped keep a very uneven film afloat just wouldn't have been possible in the early stages of her career.
Worst Performance: Green Lantern (2011)
Green Lantern has been long forgotten by just about everyone and if she didn't meet her future husband Ryan Reynolds during the production, Lively would probably be on that list as well. Like just about everything else in this haphazardly-assembled superhero origin story, her performance as the boss/love interest of pilot turned intergalactic superhero Hal Jordan (Reynolds) feels stagnant and embarrassingly half-assed.
Best Film: The Town (2010)
While Accepted was a hallmark of my teenage years that I still have a lot of love for, I can't pretend that I enjoyed it more than The Town. This heist thriller from Ben Affleck remains my favorite of his directorial efforts by a pretty wide margin. The robbery sequences are tense as hell, the acting is unbelievable and the story surrounding a veteran bank robber (Affleck) who attempts to retire from his life of crime after falling in love with a former hostage (Rebecca Hall) is compelling without ever feeling contrived.
Worst Film: The Age of Adaline (2015)
For the first 45 minutes, The Age of Adaline is a harmless albeit unexceptional fantasy melodrama that made great use of Lively's abundant natural charm. In the latter half, it quickly turns into a borderline creepy love story that piles on the schmaltz until it arrives at a laughably corny boohoo climax that destroyed whatever remained of the initial goodwill it had built up.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)” star Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Films starring Blake Lively that I've seen:
Accepted
The Town
Green Lantern
Savages
The Age of Adaline
The Shallows
Café Society
A Simple Favor
Best Performance: A Simple Favor (2018)
Lively's substantial growth as an actor in recent years has been great to watch and the amount of time and effort she's put into working on her craft was on full display in A Simple Favor. Turning in a funny, imposing and downright devious performance as a mysterious fashion executive who suddenly disappears that helped keep a very uneven film afloat just wouldn't have been possible in the early stages of her career.
Worst Performance: Green Lantern (2011)
Green Lantern has been long forgotten by just about everyone and if she didn't meet her future husband Ryan Reynolds during the production, Lively would probably be on that list as well. Like just about everything else in this haphazardly-assembled superhero origin story, her performance as the boss/love interest of pilot turned intergalactic superhero Hal Jordan (Reynolds) feels stagnant and embarrassingly half-assed.
Best Film: The Town (2010)
While Accepted was a hallmark of my teenage years that I still have a lot of love for, I can't pretend that I enjoyed it more than The Town. This heist thriller from Ben Affleck remains my favorite of his directorial efforts by a pretty wide margin. The robbery sequences are tense as hell, the acting is unbelievable and the story surrounding a veteran bank robber (Affleck) who attempts to retire from his life of crime after falling in love with a former hostage (Rebecca Hall) is compelling without ever feeling contrived.
Worst Film: The Age of Adaline (2015)
For the first 45 minutes, The Age of Adaline is a harmless albeit unexceptional fantasy melodrama that made great use of Lively's abundant natural charm. In the latter half, it quickly turns into a borderline creepy love story that piles on the schmaltz until it arrives at a laughably corny boohoo climax that destroyed whatever remained of the initial goodwill it had built up.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)” star Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Saturday, January 25, 2020
Concert Review: Moon Tooth-- Cambridge, MA--January 24th, 2020
Lineup: Moon Tooth/Poh Hock/Vivisepulture
Venue: The Middle East Upstairs
Vivisepulture: Arrived late and missed their set.
Poh Hock: Poh Hock was on stage when I arrived, but it didn't take long at all for me to get into his set. Driven by a combination of catchy melodies, funky bass grooves and flashy guitar theatrics, the Native Construct guitarist's "solo" project (Hock has a bassist and drummer playing alongside him) featured the ideal balance of mellow atmospherics and absurd technicality that any quality instrumental prog metal act has to possess. Hock just dropped his debut EP last March and based on what I saw here, he absolutely has what it takes to eventually blossom into a genre staple.
Moon Tooth: Being in the ideal geographical position to catch a headlining show from the up-and-coming New York prog metal outfit Moon Tooth is a gift. The jovial energy and distinct melodic vocal/aggressive music dynamic that made Crux one of the best records of 2019 translates beautifully to stage. Their 65-minute set had a terrific flow to it, naturally alternating between their heavier and spacier cuts while also showcasing the tightness of their musicianship and ease in which they command a stage at every turn.
It was also clear how glad they were that people had come out to see them perform on an informal tour at such a tiny venue (Middle East Upstairs has a capacity of about 175), which is always a nice touch and subsequently made me feel like kind of a dick for not reciprocating that appreciation by buying merch. Hopefully Pure Noise continues to invest in these guys because they're a killer band that seems to have a very bright future ahead of them.
Grades:
Poh Hock: B
Moon Tooth: A-
Setlist:
Moon Tooth:
Musketeers
Silver Gallows
Trust
Omega Days
Through Ash
Thumb Spike
Motionless in Sky
Rhythm & Roar
Vesuvius I/Vesuvius II
Awe at All Angles
Crux
Encore:
Igneous
Venue: The Middle East Upstairs
Vivisepulture: Arrived late and missed their set.
Poh Hock: Poh Hock was on stage when I arrived, but it didn't take long at all for me to get into his set. Driven by a combination of catchy melodies, funky bass grooves and flashy guitar theatrics, the Native Construct guitarist's "solo" project (Hock has a bassist and drummer playing alongside him) featured the ideal balance of mellow atmospherics and absurd technicality that any quality instrumental prog metal act has to possess. Hock just dropped his debut EP last March and based on what I saw here, he absolutely has what it takes to eventually blossom into a genre staple.
Moon Tooth: Being in the ideal geographical position to catch a headlining show from the up-and-coming New York prog metal outfit Moon Tooth is a gift. The jovial energy and distinct melodic vocal/aggressive music dynamic that made Crux one of the best records of 2019 translates beautifully to stage. Their 65-minute set had a terrific flow to it, naturally alternating between their heavier and spacier cuts while also showcasing the tightness of their musicianship and ease in which they command a stage at every turn.
It was also clear how glad they were that people had come out to see them perform on an informal tour at such a tiny venue (Middle East Upstairs has a capacity of about 175), which is always a nice touch and subsequently made me feel like kind of a dick for not reciprocating that appreciation by buying merch. Hopefully Pure Noise continues to invest in these guys because they're a killer band that seems to have a very bright future ahead of them.
Grades:
Poh Hock: B
Moon Tooth: A-
Setlist:
Moon Tooth:
Musketeers
Silver Gallows
Trust
Omega Days
Through Ash
Thumb Spike
Motionless in Sky
Rhythm & Roar
Vesuvius I/Vesuvius II
Awe at All Angles
Crux
Encore:
Igneous
Thursday, January 23, 2020
Movie Review: Underwater
Sci-fi horror flick Underwater faced a long, bumpy road on its way to theaters. It was shot back in the spring of 2017, but bizarrely remained without a release date until May of last year as 20th Century Fox was in the process of being purchased by Disney. Nearly three years after principal photography commenced, Underwater has finally been freed from the holdover vault and surprise surprise, it's a very solid film that didn't deserve to sit on the shelf for so long.
Like most good creature-driven survival thrillers, Underwater doesn't spend any time dicking around with filler. By the time the 15 minute mark rolls around, an earthquake has hit a drilling rig that's stationed seven miles underwater and the surviving crew members (Kristen Stewart, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick, John Gallagher Jr., T.J. Miller, Mamondou Athie-who all do an admirable job of conveying the necessary combination of panic and well-timed courage) are forced to flee the wreckage and walk about a mile across the ocean floor with damaged equipment while holding out hope their company's other drilling station still has functional escape pods. This uphill battle to survive becomes even more dangerous when the group discovers that previously undiscovered sea monsters were responsible for the earthquake and might kill them before their insufficient oxygen supply gets the chance to.
Director William Eubank capitalizes on that quick start to make a suspenseful genre piece that never loses its momentum or succumbs to the maddening stupidity that has derailed some of the other recent man vs. unknown alien species movies (Life, The Cloverfield Paradox). Accompanied by an intense score and an eerie atmosphere provided by the lack of light that defines its setting, Eubank makes the bottom of the ocean feel like a vast yet claustrophobic space full of elusive, unimaginable terrors. Having the feeling that danger could potentially arrive at any second during the crew's already treacherous journey allows the jump scares/monster attacks to be very effective while also establishing a level of nuance that isn't overly common in this genre anymore. This relatively subdued approach to dealing with horrors that allude the grasp of mankind is undeniably indebted to sci-fi classics like Alien and The Thing, but the sustained, well-crafted tension that comes from it allows Underwater to emerge as 2020's first unexpected cinematic success story.
Like most good creature-driven survival thrillers, Underwater doesn't spend any time dicking around with filler. By the time the 15 minute mark rolls around, an earthquake has hit a drilling rig that's stationed seven miles underwater and the surviving crew members (Kristen Stewart, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick, John Gallagher Jr., T.J. Miller, Mamondou Athie-who all do an admirable job of conveying the necessary combination of panic and well-timed courage) are forced to flee the wreckage and walk about a mile across the ocean floor with damaged equipment while holding out hope their company's other drilling station still has functional escape pods. This uphill battle to survive becomes even more dangerous when the group discovers that previously undiscovered sea monsters were responsible for the earthquake and might kill them before their insufficient oxygen supply gets the chance to.
Director William Eubank capitalizes on that quick start to make a suspenseful genre piece that never loses its momentum or succumbs to the maddening stupidity that has derailed some of the other recent man vs. unknown alien species movies (Life, The Cloverfield Paradox). Accompanied by an intense score and an eerie atmosphere provided by the lack of light that defines its setting, Eubank makes the bottom of the ocean feel like a vast yet claustrophobic space full of elusive, unimaginable terrors. Having the feeling that danger could potentially arrive at any second during the crew's already treacherous journey allows the jump scares/monster attacks to be very effective while also establishing a level of nuance that isn't overly common in this genre anymore. This relatively subdued approach to dealing with horrors that allude the grasp of mankind is undeniably indebted to sci-fi classics like Alien and The Thing, but the sustained, well-crafted tension that comes from it allows Underwater to emerge as 2020's first unexpected cinematic success story.
Grade: B
Wednesday, January 22, 2020
Movie Review: Bad Boys for Life
Does that elusive transformation from "Bad Boys to "Good Men" happen over the course of this film? Not quite. Bad Boys for Life- which sees Michael Bay pass the directorial torch to the very capable Belgian duo Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah-features the same combination of fast cars, massive chaotic gunfights and crude humor that this series reveled in during its younger years. However, that doesn't mean there hasn't been any maturation since these characters last graced the screen in 2003. Bad Boys for Life makes a point to emphasize that Burnett and Lowery aren't the invincible warriors they once were. They get overpowered in fights, they reluctantly accept roles on a team headed up by younger cops (Paola Nunez, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Charles Melton) and they even admit that they're closer to the end of their careers than the beginning. They may not be good men yet, but the bits of perspective they gain on the fragility of life during their latest explosion-filled romp around Miami have them heading down the right path.
Let's be honest though: This is a buddy movie above all else and no amount of thoughtful reflection on the mortality of the 50+ heroes would matter if the central pairing's relationship was no longer convincing. Fortunately, Smith and Lawrence remain a terrific tandem. The energy they bring to their respective characters along with the lovingly smartass dynamic that exists between is every bit as strong now as it was 25 years ago. Sony should be thrilled that Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz decided to exit the original because it's highly unlikely that Bad Boys would've become a sleeper success story that eventually morphed into a franchise without this electric pairing at the top of the marquee.
Now the question turns to whether or not Bad Boys will be back for more after a spectacular opening ($73 mil domestic over the MLK Day weekend) this past weekend. Bad Boys for Life is a fitting final chapter for a series that has remained consistent in quality throughout, but the ending also provides a potentially interesting jumping off point for another chapter if the powers that be decide to keep it going. All I'll ask is if they do decide to make a fourth installment, please let it retain all of the laughs, unapologetic excess and wall-to-wall excitement that has allowed Bad Boys to become a banner buddy action comedy series.
Grade: B+
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
The Best and Worst of Jeremy Strong
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “The Gentlemen” star Jeremy Strong.
Films starring Jeremy Strong that I've seen:
The Happening
Zero Dark Thirty
Parkland
The Judge
Selma
Black Mass
The Big Short
Detroit
Molly's Game
Serenity
Best Performance: The Big Short (2015)
A few years before Succession launched him to a new level of notoriety, Strong quietly stole the show in Adam McKay's Oscar-nominated meta dramedy about the 2007 housing crisis that helped sink the United States economy. His turn as the fiery second-in-command at one of the firms that becomes aware of the instability of the subprime mortgage loans that are driving the market and subsequently bet against the banks ability to continue to fund these high-risk loans was every bit as good as the much more celebrated turns from Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling and Steve Carrell.
Worst Performance: Serenity (2019)
Serenity is a must-see for anyone that enjoys movies that are so ridiculous that they need to be seen to be believed, but the acting from its all-star cast (Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jason Clarke, Djimon Honsou, Diane Lane) isn't particularly good. Even though he plays a pivotal role as a persistent accountant looking to speak with McConaughey's character who ends up revealing the big, WTF-inducing plot twist to the audience, Strong gives a very pedestrian performance that is easy to forget.
Best Film: Molly's Game (2017)
Veteran writer Aaron Sorkin couldn't have possibly found a better subject for his directorial debut than the unbelievable life story of Molly Bloom. Bloom's unlikely evolution from an Olympic skier whose career is cut short by injury to a prolific runner of underground poker games that attracted everyone from actors to politicians to criminal heavyweights is a naturally riveting story that becomes even more fascinating with Sorkin's energetic wit and a magnetic, fearless performer in Jessica Chastain playing the protagonist.
Worst Film: Parkland (2013)
The Happening would probably be a lot of people's pick for the worst movie on the above list. However after many years of ripping it to shreds, I've recently realized that it's far too hilarious and creatively unhinged for me to view it in a negative light. Parkland, on the other hand, was a disappointingly mediocre film that should be chalked up as one of the biggest missed opportunities in recent memory. Examining the assassination of John F. Kennedy from the perspectives of individuals whose viewpoints haven't been shown on film before such as Lee Harvey Oswald's brother, Abraham Zapruder and the staff of Parkland Hospital where Kennedy was pronounced dead should've been a riveting drama, but the writing and pacing is far too uneven to provide any significant insight on the mindset of these secondary figures on that fateful day or legitimate entertainment value.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “The Rhythm Section” star Blake Lively.
Films starring Jeremy Strong that I've seen:
The Happening
Zero Dark Thirty
Parkland
The Judge
Selma
Black Mass
The Big Short
Detroit
Molly's Game
Serenity
Best Performance: The Big Short (2015)
A few years before Succession launched him to a new level of notoriety, Strong quietly stole the show in Adam McKay's Oscar-nominated meta dramedy about the 2007 housing crisis that helped sink the United States economy. His turn as the fiery second-in-command at one of the firms that becomes aware of the instability of the subprime mortgage loans that are driving the market and subsequently bet against the banks ability to continue to fund these high-risk loans was every bit as good as the much more celebrated turns from Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling and Steve Carrell.
Worst Performance: Serenity (2019)
Serenity is a must-see for anyone that enjoys movies that are so ridiculous that they need to be seen to be believed, but the acting from its all-star cast (Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jason Clarke, Djimon Honsou, Diane Lane) isn't particularly good. Even though he plays a pivotal role as a persistent accountant looking to speak with McConaughey's character who ends up revealing the big, WTF-inducing plot twist to the audience, Strong gives a very pedestrian performance that is easy to forget.
Best Film: Molly's Game (2017)
Veteran writer Aaron Sorkin couldn't have possibly found a better subject for his directorial debut than the unbelievable life story of Molly Bloom. Bloom's unlikely evolution from an Olympic skier whose career is cut short by injury to a prolific runner of underground poker games that attracted everyone from actors to politicians to criminal heavyweights is a naturally riveting story that becomes even more fascinating with Sorkin's energetic wit and a magnetic, fearless performer in Jessica Chastain playing the protagonist.
Worst Film: Parkland (2013)
The Happening would probably be a lot of people's pick for the worst movie on the above list. However after many years of ripping it to shreds, I've recently realized that it's far too hilarious and creatively unhinged for me to view it in a negative light. Parkland, on the other hand, was a disappointingly mediocre film that should be chalked up as one of the biggest missed opportunities in recent memory. Examining the assassination of John F. Kennedy from the perspectives of individuals whose viewpoints haven't been shown on film before such as Lee Harvey Oswald's brother, Abraham Zapruder and the staff of Parkland Hospital where Kennedy was pronounced dead should've been a riveting drama, but the writing and pacing is far too uneven to provide any significant insight on the mindset of these secondary figures on that fateful day or legitimate entertainment value.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “The Rhythm Section” star Blake Lively.
Friday, January 17, 2020
NFL Conference Championship Picks
Last Week's Record: 2-2 (Correct: Chiefs, Packers Incorrect: Vikings, Ravens)
Overall Record: 3-5
Kansas City Chiefs over Tennessee Titans: What the Titans have accomplished over the past two weeks is absolutely remarkable. Mike Vrabel has this team playing hard-nosed, gutsy football on both sides of the ball, which has allowed them to knock off NFL royalty and an electrifying team that had won their previous 12 games with pretty minimal resistance in back-to-back weeks. Considering the immense fearlessness and focus they've displayed in the playoffs so far, it wouldn't be the least bit surprising if they went into Arrowhead and earned a 3rd straight road win over a Chiefs team that has a checkered history in the playoffs (especially over the past 25 years or so) to clinch their first trip to the Super Bowl since 1999. However, there's one thing that the Chiefs have that the Patriots and Ravens didn't: an elite vertical passing attack that can move the ball downfield and score points in no time at all, which should significantly reduce the effectiveness of the clock-bleeding, repeatedly run the ball up the gut offensive approach the Titans have heavily leaned on in both of their wins as well as expose the weaknesses on the back end of their defense.
San Francisco 49ers over Green Bay Packers: I continue to lack trust in either of these erratic-ass teams, so I've been forced to raise a ton of questions about both sides over the past few days. Will the 49ers be the imposing two-way powerhouse they were in the Divisional Round or the soft, aloof team that lost to the Falcons a month ago? Will Aaron Rodgers make clutch throw after clutch throw like he did last week to carry the team to a win or will the future Hall of Famer inexplicably be put on the back burner in favor of a running game that has proven several times that they can't be relied on to carry the offense on a weekly basis? Can Jimmy Garoppolo protect the ball in a showdown with a QB that does as good of a job at avoiding turnovers as anyone that's ever played the position? Can the Packers offensive line withstand the heat from an 49ers imposing pass rush that can attack you from the edge and interior with equal proficiency? Can the 49ers continue to hide Akhello Witherspoon's bum ass in coverage? How will head coaches with the lack of playoff experience that Kyle Shanahan and Matt LaFleur possess approach a game of this magnitude? Ultimately, I'll give the slightest of edges in this wildly contested matchup to the home team, although I fully expect this to be a far more competitive game than their regular season matchup at Levi's Stadium in which the 49ers eviscerated the Packers 37-8.
Overall Record: 3-5
Kansas City Chiefs over Tennessee Titans: What the Titans have accomplished over the past two weeks is absolutely remarkable. Mike Vrabel has this team playing hard-nosed, gutsy football on both sides of the ball, which has allowed them to knock off NFL royalty and an electrifying team that had won their previous 12 games with pretty minimal resistance in back-to-back weeks. Considering the immense fearlessness and focus they've displayed in the playoffs so far, it wouldn't be the least bit surprising if they went into Arrowhead and earned a 3rd straight road win over a Chiefs team that has a checkered history in the playoffs (especially over the past 25 years or so) to clinch their first trip to the Super Bowl since 1999. However, there's one thing that the Chiefs have that the Patriots and Ravens didn't: an elite vertical passing attack that can move the ball downfield and score points in no time at all, which should significantly reduce the effectiveness of the clock-bleeding, repeatedly run the ball up the gut offensive approach the Titans have heavily leaned on in both of their wins as well as expose the weaknesses on the back end of their defense.
San Francisco 49ers over Green Bay Packers: I continue to lack trust in either of these erratic-ass teams, so I've been forced to raise a ton of questions about both sides over the past few days. Will the 49ers be the imposing two-way powerhouse they were in the Divisional Round or the soft, aloof team that lost to the Falcons a month ago? Will Aaron Rodgers make clutch throw after clutch throw like he did last week to carry the team to a win or will the future Hall of Famer inexplicably be put on the back burner in favor of a running game that has proven several times that they can't be relied on to carry the offense on a weekly basis? Can Jimmy Garoppolo protect the ball in a showdown with a QB that does as good of a job at avoiding turnovers as anyone that's ever played the position? Can the Packers offensive line withstand the heat from an 49ers imposing pass rush that can attack you from the edge and interior with equal proficiency? Can the 49ers continue to hide Akhello Witherspoon's bum ass in coverage? How will head coaches with the lack of playoff experience that Kyle Shanahan and Matt LaFleur possess approach a game of this magnitude? Ultimately, I'll give the slightest of edges in this wildly contested matchup to the home team, although I fully expect this to be a far more competitive game than their regular season matchup at Levi's Stadium in which the 49ers eviscerated the Packers 37-8.
Thursday, January 16, 2020
2019 in Movies: A Year in Review
What an ending to the decade. From comeback vehicles for beloved actors (Dolemite is My Name, The Irishman) to bold indie powerhouses (Uncut Gems, Honey Boy) to franchise-capping blockbusters (Avengers: Endgame, Toy Story 4) that delivered beloved characters the proper farewells they deserved, 2019 featured a diverse, ridiculously loaded slate that was among the finest in recent memory. Below you'll find a plethora of lists celebrating this banner, largely dud-free year for the cinematic artform including my picks for the top performances, a worst to best ranking of every movie I saw with grades and much, much more. Enjoy!
Haven't seen, but plan to watch in the future:
21 Bridges
3 from Hell
A Vigilante
Avengement
Black and Blue
Black Christmas
Clemency
Corporate Animals
Dark Waters
The Day Shall Come
Doctor Sleep
Dragged Across Concrete
Earthquake Bird
El Chicano
The Fanatic
First Love
The Good Liar
Harriet
High Flying Bird
The Highwaymen
Hotel Mumbai
The Hummingbird Project
I Am Mother
Klaus
Last Christmas
The Laundromat
Little Monsters
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
Midsommar
The Mustang
Night Hunter
Pain and Glory
Primal
Replicas
The Report
Richard Jewell
The Two Popes
Under the Silver Lake
Where'd You Go, Bernadette
Wine Country
Wounds
116.Joker (D-)
115.Arctic (D)
114.Captive State (D)
113.Velvet Buzzsaw (D+)
112.Miss Bala (D+)
111.Gloria Bell (D+)
110.The Kitchen (D+)
109.The Lion King (D+)
108.Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (C-)
107.Glass (C-)
106.Brightburn (C-)
105.It: Chapter Two (C-)
104.Motherless Brooklyn (C)
103.The Last Black Man in San Francisco (C)
102.Pokemon Detective Pikachu (C)
101.Teen Spirit (C+)
100.The Kid Who Would Be King (C+)
99.Hellboy (C+)
98.JT Leroy (C+)
97.The Best of Enemies (C+)
96.Triple Threat (C+)
95.Unicorn Store (C+)
94.Murder Mystery (C+)
93.Five Feet Apart (C+)
92.Alita: Battle Angel (C+)
91.Shazam! (C+)
90.Someone Great (C+)
89.Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (B-)
88.Serenity (B-)
87.Wild Rose (B-)
86.Angel Has Fallen (B-)
85.Late Night (B-)
84.The Hustle (B-)
83.The Dead Don't Die (B-)
82.Godzilla: King of the Monsters (B-)
81.Pet Sematary (B-)
80.The Peanut Butter Falcon (B-)
79.Men in Black: International (B-)
78.How High 2 (B-)
77.Waves (B-)
76.Aladdin (B-)
75.Anna (B-)
74.Queen & Slim (B-)
73.Fighting with My Family (B)
72.Point Blank (B)
71.Paddleton (B)
70.Charlie's Angels (B)
69.The Farewell (B)
68.A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (B)
67.Ready or Not (B)
66.Climax (B)
65.Cats (B)
64.Isn't It Romantic (B)
63.Stuber (B)
62.Gemini Man (B)
61.Ad Astra (B)
60.Spider-Man: Far from Home (B)
59.Escape Room (B)
58.1917 (B)
57.Crawl (B)
56.Shaft (B)
55.The Dirt (B)
54.6 Underground (B)
53.The Art of Self-Defense (B)
52.The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (B)
51.Travis Scott: Look Mom I Can Fly (B)
50.The Upside (B)
49.Polar (B)
48.Happy Death Day 2U (B)
47.Hail Satan? (B)
46.The Perfection (B)
45.Rambo: Last Blood (B)
44.Brian Banks(B)
43.Ma (B)
42.Hustlers (B)
41.Little Women (B)
40.Always Be My Maybe (B)
39.Family (B)
38.Jexi (B+)
37.Captain Marvel (B+)
36.Dark Phoenix (B+)
35.Between Two Ferns: The Movie (B+)
34.The Irishman (B+)
33.Little Woods (B+)
32.The Lighthouse (B+)
31.Bombshell (B+)
30.Terminator: Dark Fate (B+)
29.Brittany Runs a Marathon (B+)
28.Us (B+)
27.Cold Pursuit (B+)
26.Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (B+)
25.Child's Play (B+)
24.Ford v. Ferrari (B+)
23.Luce (B+)
22.Rocketman (B+)
21.Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (B+)
20.Triple Frontier (B+)
19.Knives Out (B+)
18.Toy Story 4 (A-)
17.Good Boys (A-)
16.Avengers: Endgame (A-)
15.Hobbs & Shaw (A-)
14.Honey Boy (A-)
13.Jumanji: The Next Level (A-)
12.Parasite (A-)
11.Booksmart (A-)
10.The Beach Bum (A-)
9.Zombieland: Double Tap (A)
8.Just Mercy (A)
7.Dolemite is My Name (A)
6.Long Shot (A)
5.Uncut Gems (A)
4.Jojo Rabbit (A)
3.Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood (A)
2.Marriage Story (A)
1.John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum (A)
Awards:
Best Picture: John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum
Best Actor: Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Best Actress: Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Best Supporting Actor: Shia LaBeouf, Honey Boy
Best Supporting Actress: Billie Lourd, Booksmart
Best Director: Benny and Josh Safdie, Uncut Gems
Best Original Screenplay: Noah Baumbach, Marriage Story
Best Adapted Screenplay: Taika Waititi, Jojo Rabbit
Best Cinematography: Jarin Blaschke, The Lighthouse
Best Score: Michael Abels, Us
Best Visual Effects: Pokémon Detective Pikachu
Best Animated Movie: Toy Story 4
Best Documentary: Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened
Best Subtitled Movie: Parasite
Best Directorial Debut: Olivia Wilde, Booksmart
Best Villain: Mark Hamill, Child's Play
Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Melissa McCarthy, The Kitchen
Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Emma Watson, Little Women
Best Performance by a Suspect Actor: Lily James, Little Woods
Worst Performance by a Good Actor: Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Best Overacting: Willem Dafoe, The Lighthouse
Worst Overacting: Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
The 2nd Annual "Carry a Movie on Your Back" Award presented by Greg Jennings: Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Most Delightfully Insane Plot Twist: Serenity
Most Egregious Use of Netflix's Deep Pockets: 6 Underground
Best Theater Experience: John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
Worst Theater Experience: Joker
Best Action Sequence: Antique Weapon Museum Fight, John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
Worst Action Sequence: Final Battle, Shazam!
Most Enjoyable Remake: Child's Play
Most Useless Remake: The Lion King
Best Blockbuster: Jumanji: The Next Level
Worst Blockbuster: The Lion King
Finest Hidden Indie Gem: Honey Boy
Most Insufferable Indie Trash: Velvet Buzzsaw
Biggest Piece of Shit to Ever Receive the Most Oscar Nominations in a Given Year: Joker
Hack Director of the Year: Todd Phillips, Joker
Directors That Made Movies That Were Released in the United States in 2019 That Are More Deserving of a Best Director Nomination than Todd Phillips: All of them
Biggest Surprises:
1.Child's Play
2.Terminator: Dark Fate
3.Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile
4.The Perfection
5.Escape Room
Biggest Letdowns:
1.Joker
2.Velvet Buzzsaw
3.It: Chapter Two
4.The Kitchen
5.Hellboy
Most Underrated Movies:
1.Just Mercy
2.Honey Boy
3.Triple Frontier
4.Luce
5.Child's Play
Most Overrated Movies:
1.Joker
2.The Peanut Butter Falcon
3.Shazam!
4.1917
5.Waves
Top Performances:
1.Shia LaBeouf, Honey Boy
2.Adam Driver, Marriage Story
3.Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
4.Adam Sandler, Uncut Gems
5.Billie Lourd, Booksmart
6.Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
7.Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
8.Kelvin Harrison Jr., Luce
9.Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum
10.Margot Robbie, Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
Breakthrough Performances:
1.Taylor Russell, Waves
2.Ana de Armas, Knives Out
3.Julia Fox, Uncut Gems
4.Keith Williams Richards, Uncut Gems
5.Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
6.Keith L. Williams, Good Boys
7.Brady Noon, Good Boys
8.Natalia Reyes, Terminator: Dark Fate
9.Rosa Salazar, Alita: Battle Angel
10.DeWanda Wise, Someone Great
Top Acting Ensembles:
1.Marriage Story
2.Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
3.Jojo Rabbit
4.Booksmart
5.Uncut Gems
6.The Beach Bum
7.Dolemite is My Name
8.Knives Out
9.Jumanji: The Next Level
10.Zombieland: Double Tap
10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2020:
1.Tenet
2.Those Who Wish Me Dead
3.The Gentlemen
4.Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)
5.Fast & Furious 9
6.Last Night in Soho
7.King of Staten Island
8.Next Goal Wins
9.Bad Boys for Life
10.Army of the Dead
Haven't seen, but plan to watch in the future:
21 Bridges
3 from Hell
A Vigilante
Avengement
Black and Blue
Black Christmas
Clemency
Corporate Animals
Dark Waters
The Day Shall Come
Doctor Sleep
Dragged Across Concrete
Earthquake Bird
El Chicano
The Fanatic
First Love
The Good Liar
Harriet
High Flying Bird
The Highwaymen
Hotel Mumbai
The Hummingbird Project
I Am Mother
Klaus
Last Christmas
The Laundromat
Little Monsters
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
Midsommar
The Mustang
Night Hunter
Pain and Glory
Primal
Replicas
The Report
Richard Jewell
The Two Popes
Under the Silver Lake
Where'd You Go, Bernadette
Wine Country
Wounds
116.Joker (D-)
115.Arctic (D)
114.Captive State (D)
113.Velvet Buzzsaw (D+)
112.Miss Bala (D+)
111.Gloria Bell (D+)
110.The Kitchen (D+)
109.The Lion King (D+)
108.Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (C-)
107.Glass (C-)
106.Brightburn (C-)
105.It: Chapter Two (C-)
104.Motherless Brooklyn (C)
103.The Last Black Man in San Francisco (C)
102.Pokemon Detective Pikachu (C)
101.Teen Spirit (C+)
100.The Kid Who Would Be King (C+)
99.Hellboy (C+)
98.JT Leroy (C+)
97.The Best of Enemies (C+)
96.Triple Threat (C+)
95.Unicorn Store (C+)
94.Murder Mystery (C+)
93.Five Feet Apart (C+)
92.Alita: Battle Angel (C+)
91.Shazam! (C+)
90.Someone Great (C+)
89.Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (B-)
88.Serenity (B-)
87.Wild Rose (B-)
86.Angel Has Fallen (B-)
85.Late Night (B-)
84.The Hustle (B-)
83.The Dead Don't Die (B-)
82.Godzilla: King of the Monsters (B-)
81.Pet Sematary (B-)
80.The Peanut Butter Falcon (B-)
79.Men in Black: International (B-)
78.How High 2 (B-)
77.Waves (B-)
76.Aladdin (B-)
75.Anna (B-)
74.Queen & Slim (B-)
73.Fighting with My Family (B)
72.Point Blank (B)
71.Paddleton (B)
70.Charlie's Angels (B)
69.The Farewell (B)
68.A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (B)
67.Ready or Not (B)
66.Climax (B)
65.Cats (B)
64.Isn't It Romantic (B)
63.Stuber (B)
62.Gemini Man (B)
61.Ad Astra (B)
60.Spider-Man: Far from Home (B)
59.Escape Room (B)
58.1917 (B)
57.Crawl (B)
56.Shaft (B)
55.The Dirt (B)
54.6 Underground (B)
53.The Art of Self-Defense (B)
52.The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (B)
51.Travis Scott: Look Mom I Can Fly (B)
50.The Upside (B)
49.Polar (B)
48.Happy Death Day 2U (B)
47.Hail Satan? (B)
46.The Perfection (B)
45.Rambo: Last Blood (B)
44.Brian Banks(B)
43.Ma (B)
42.Hustlers (B)
41.Little Women (B)
40.Always Be My Maybe (B)
39.Family (B)
38.Jexi (B+)
37.Captain Marvel (B+)
36.Dark Phoenix (B+)
35.Between Two Ferns: The Movie (B+)
34.The Irishman (B+)
33.Little Woods (B+)
32.The Lighthouse (B+)
31.Bombshell (B+)
30.Terminator: Dark Fate (B+)
29.Brittany Runs a Marathon (B+)
28.Us (B+)
27.Cold Pursuit (B+)
26.Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (B+)
25.Child's Play (B+)
24.Ford v. Ferrari (B+)
23.Luce (B+)
22.Rocketman (B+)
21.Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (B+)
20.Triple Frontier (B+)
19.Knives Out (B+)
18.Toy Story 4 (A-)
17.Good Boys (A-)
16.Avengers: Endgame (A-)
15.Hobbs & Shaw (A-)
14.Honey Boy (A-)
13.Jumanji: The Next Level (A-)
12.Parasite (A-)
11.Booksmart (A-)
10.The Beach Bum (A-)
9.Zombieland: Double Tap (A)
8.Just Mercy (A)
7.Dolemite is My Name (A)
6.Long Shot (A)
5.Uncut Gems (A)
4.Jojo Rabbit (A)
3.Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood (A)
2.Marriage Story (A)
1.John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum (A)
Awards:
Best Picture: John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum
Best Actor: Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Best Actress: Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Best Supporting Actor: Shia LaBeouf, Honey Boy
Best Supporting Actress: Billie Lourd, Booksmart
Best Director: Benny and Josh Safdie, Uncut Gems
Best Original Screenplay: Noah Baumbach, Marriage Story
Best Adapted Screenplay: Taika Waititi, Jojo Rabbit
Best Cinematography: Jarin Blaschke, The Lighthouse
Best Score: Michael Abels, Us
Best Visual Effects: Pokémon Detective Pikachu
Best Animated Movie: Toy Story 4
Best Documentary: Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened
Best Subtitled Movie: Parasite
Best Directorial Debut: Olivia Wilde, Booksmart
Best Villain: Mark Hamill, Child's Play
Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Melissa McCarthy, The Kitchen
Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Emma Watson, Little Women
Best Performance by a Suspect Actor: Lily James, Little Woods
Worst Performance by a Good Actor: Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Best Overacting: Willem Dafoe, The Lighthouse
Worst Overacting: Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
The 2nd Annual "Carry a Movie on Your Back" Award presented by Greg Jennings: Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Most Delightfully Insane Plot Twist: Serenity
Most Egregious Use of Netflix's Deep Pockets: 6 Underground
Best Theater Experience: John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
Worst Theater Experience: Joker
Best Action Sequence: Antique Weapon Museum Fight, John Wick-Chapter 3: Parabellum
Worst Action Sequence: Final Battle, Shazam!
Most Enjoyable Remake: Child's Play
Most Useless Remake: The Lion King
Best Blockbuster: Jumanji: The Next Level
Worst Blockbuster: The Lion King
Finest Hidden Indie Gem: Honey Boy
Most Insufferable Indie Trash: Velvet Buzzsaw
Biggest Piece of Shit to Ever Receive the Most Oscar Nominations in a Given Year: Joker
Hack Director of the Year: Todd Phillips, Joker
Directors That Made Movies That Were Released in the United States in 2019 That Are More Deserving of a Best Director Nomination than Todd Phillips: All of them
Biggest Surprises:
1.Child's Play
2.Terminator: Dark Fate
3.Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile
4.The Perfection
5.Escape Room
Biggest Letdowns:
1.Joker
2.Velvet Buzzsaw
3.It: Chapter Two
4.The Kitchen
5.Hellboy
Most Underrated Movies:
1.Just Mercy
2.Honey Boy
3.Triple Frontier
4.Luce
5.Child's Play
Most Overrated Movies:
1.Joker
2.The Peanut Butter Falcon
3.Shazam!
4.1917
5.Waves
Top Performances:
1.Shia LaBeouf, Honey Boy
2.Adam Driver, Marriage Story
3.Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
4.Adam Sandler, Uncut Gems
5.Billie Lourd, Booksmart
6.Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
7.Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
8.Kelvin Harrison Jr., Luce
9.Matthew McConaughey, The Beach Bum
10.Margot Robbie, Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
Breakthrough Performances:
1.Taylor Russell, Waves
2.Ana de Armas, Knives Out
3.Julia Fox, Uncut Gems
4.Keith Williams Richards, Uncut Gems
5.Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
6.Keith L. Williams, Good Boys
7.Brady Noon, Good Boys
8.Natalia Reyes, Terminator: Dark Fate
9.Rosa Salazar, Alita: Battle Angel
10.DeWanda Wise, Someone Great
Top Acting Ensembles:
1.Marriage Story
2.Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
3.Jojo Rabbit
4.Booksmart
5.Uncut Gems
6.The Beach Bum
7.Dolemite is My Name
8.Knives Out
9.Jumanji: The Next Level
10.Zombieland: Double Tap
10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2020:
1.Tenet
2.Those Who Wish Me Dead
3.The Gentlemen
4.Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)
5.Fast & Furious 9
6.Last Night in Soho
7.King of Staten Island
8.Next Goal Wins
9.Bad Boys for Life
10.Army of the Dead
Top 15 Movies of 2019
Honorable Mentions (in alphabetical order):
Avengers: Endgame
Good Boys
Knives Out
Toy Story 4
Triple Frontier
15.Hobbs & Shaw: Vin Diesel can rest easy knowing that his nemesis Dwayne Johnson didn't tarnish the Fast and Furious legacy with his spin-off film. David Leitch does an outstanding job staging the huge action setpieces, every new addition to the cast (Vanessa Kirby, Idris Elba, Eiza Gonzalez, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Hart) seamlessly acclimates to the self-aware absurdity of this world and the winning snarky rapport between the titular characters (Johnson, Jason Statham) only gets stronger with them serving as the headliners instead of the direct support act.
14.Honey Boy: Shia LaBeouf's erratic behavior and substance abuse problems have commanded more attention than his onscreen work in recent years. Honey Boy provides a lot of insight into what inspired LaBeouf's mental health issues, which subsequently made me develop a ton of empathy for him. This semi-autobiographical drama fearlessly explores the relationship between a child actor (Noah Jupe) starring on a hit television series and his abusive, recovering addict father (LaBeouf in an alternately terrifying and heartbreaking performance that is truly revelatory) that's jealous of the success his son is having. Growing up in a hostile environment where your own parent terrorizes you on a daily basis is the type of nightmarish situation that I can't even begin to fathom and LaBeouf deserves to be lauded for having the courage to put his pain on display for the world to see.
13.Jumanji: The Next Level: Thanks to a sharp story that logically raises the stakes, additional character development and some great additions (Awkwafina, Danny DeVito, Danny Glover) to an already loaded ensemble cast (Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan), Jumanji: The Next Level manages to be even more clever, amusing and delightful than its predecessor.
12.Parasite: A weak, out of left field finale is the only thing that prevented Parasite from appearing in the top 10. Writer/director Bong Joon-Ho masterfully combines multiple genres (black comedy, thriller, satire, drama) to tell an engaging, tense and unpredictable story centered around an impoverished South Korean family that scams their way into securing jobs at the home of a tech mogul. Please don't let the presence of subtitles scare you off from watching this very accessible and engaging flick.
11.Booksmart: Remember when these things called comedies used to hit theaters every couple of months? Well, Olivia Wilde's directorial debut was a perfect reminder of the joys this sadly underserved genre can provide. Booksmart is a hysterical, smart coming-of-age tale full of memorable characters that should retrospectively have the same effect on today's teenagers that Superbad did on my generation.
10.The Beach Bum: The king of cinematic nihilism has found something that resembles a soul! The latest from the notoriously polarizing Harmony Korine (Spring Breakers, Gummo) still features plenty of vulgar excess, but underneath its trashy exterior lies an infectiously joyous tale about living life to its fullest regardless of circumstances. It also doesn't hurt that it's a trippy, insane stoner comedy featuring a career-best performance from Matthew McConaughey as a burnout poet named Moondog and a supporting cast (Snoop Dogg, Isla Fisher, Jonah Hill, Zac Efron, Martin Lawrence) full of heavy hitters that each get their moment to shine over the course of Moondog's freewheeling journey.
9.Zombieland: Double Tap: This is how you make a satisfying sequel folks. Zombieland: Double Tap is an enthusiastic reunion tour for the original creative team that retains every ounce of the quirky humor/ample gore/little bit of heart combo that made the first installment great while also bringing in enough new faces (Zoey Deutch, Rosario Dawson, Avan Jogia) and ideas (more powerful zombies, improvised weapons) to keep things fresh.
8.Just Mercy: Just Mercy is a powerful, urgent and captivating film about the injustices that occur in the United States legal system that many people in this country ignore or know nothing about. The true story of a falsely-accused death row inmate (Jamie Foxx in his best performance since Ray) and the lawyer (Michael B. Jordan) that helps free him after a nearly decade-long legal battle in the Alabama court system angers, educates and eventually uplifts. Hopefully this important, underrated gem will go onto find a wide audience after a very average wide opening last weekend.
7.Dolemite is My Name: Eddie Murphy has returned from the shadows to remind the world why he's one of the most magnetic and electrifying comic performers of all time. Aided by vivid, energetic direction from the great Craig Brewer (Hustle & Flow, Black Snake Moan) and a scene-stealing supporting cast (Wesley Snipes, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, Keegan Michael-Key, Mike Epps, Titus Burgess, Chris Rock), Murphy's passion project about the unusual, roadblock-filled path cult comedy icon Rudy Ray Moore faced on his way to finally achieving fame with the creation of the Dolemite character is both funny and inspiring as hell.
6.Long Shot: How can you make a romantic comedy that's centered around modern day politics without it suddenly descending into a groundswell of negativity? Well, you start by writing a script that is smart enough to poke fun at that world without brushing off the seriousness of the very specific issues female politicians face then cast a pair of multi-dimensional, immensely likable actors (Seth Rogen, Charlize Theron) that have tremendous chemistry in the lead roles. 2 hours later, you have an instant genre classic that also happens to be the most unlikely feel good movie of the year.
5.Uncut Gems: Getting pissed about who does and doesn't get recognized during awards season is arguably the most petty activity film diehards engage in on a yearly basis. The primary source of my perceived snub-fueled ire this year was Uncut Gems. The Safdie Brothers turned what easily could've been a pretty straightforward crime drama about a reckless POS degenerate gambler (Adam Sandler in a brilliantly scuzzy turn) whose massive debts are finally starting to catch up with him into a relentlessly chaotic adrenaline shot of a movie that displays the high-and-lows of gambling and delusional minds of the addicts that are always chasing the next score better than any other film I've ever seen.
4.Jojo Rabbit: I doubt that any other filmmaker working today besides Taika Waititi could've made a film like Jojo Rabbit work. With the help of a brilliant cast headlined by Scarlett Johansson, Thomasin McKenzie, Sam Rockwell and newcomer Roman Griffin Davis as the titular Jojo, Waititi turns a film about a young boy in Nazi-occupied Germany that happens to have Hitler as his imaginary friend (Waititi) that has his worldview challenged when he discovers his mother (Johansson) is hiding a Jewish girl (McKenzie) in their home into a hilarious, depressing and touching commentary on the absurdity of bigotry, and how getting to know people from a group you've been trained to fear can make that blind hate go away.
3.Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood: Quentin Tarantino's supposed second-to-last movie sees the celebrated filmmaker embracing a more restrained and personal approach while still retaining his distinct morbidly humorous flair by setting a laid-back buddy movie in the vibrant Hollywood of his childhood that made him fall in love with the glamorous world of entertainment. The performances from the huge ensemble cast are flawless across the board, the richly-detailed period atmosphere is intoxicating and the alternate history storytelling technique he's employed a bunch over the past decade is especially effective here as he explores what might've happened to the city had Sharon Tate not been murdered by the Manson Family in the summer of 1969.
2.Marriage Story: At no point does Noah Baumbach's divorce drama feel like a movie. The characters, the reasons why they're getting divorced and their disagreements over what's best for their child are so well-developed that it seems like a documentary about the process of divorce, which helps makes this an unbelievably devastating and rewarding watch. The authenticity that occupies every moment of this film is a testament to the rawness that this unreal cast (Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson, Laura Dern, Alan Alda, Ray Liotta, Julie Hagerty) puts into their performances as well as the unflinching honesty in which Baumbach portrays everything from the petty competition both parties engage in to win favor with their kids while they're battling for custody to how civility can slowly return to the relationship after the agonizing process has concluded.
1.John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum: Anybody that visits this site with any regularity and/or has known me for more than 5 minutes is aware of my deep-rooted love of the action genre. I've spent more time defending/championing the genre to people that have mocked it than I could possibly count and will watch just about every one that's released in a given year that isn't a Bruce Willis/Dolph Lundgren/Steven Seagal VOD special. This is all a lengthy prelude to say watching John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum was like if a religious individual got to be in the presence of the higher power they worship for 2 hours. I walked out of the theater with a smile so big that it would make Tom Hanks look like the saddest motherfucker on the planet. Injecting more humor, creative kills and martial arts into the staggeringly well-executed fight scenes this franchise has become known was enough to easily make Parabellum the most electrifying entry in this excellent series to-date. John Wick 4 can't come soon enough.
Avengers: Endgame
Good Boys
Knives Out
Toy Story 4
Triple Frontier
15.Hobbs & Shaw: Vin Diesel can rest easy knowing that his nemesis Dwayne Johnson didn't tarnish the Fast and Furious legacy with his spin-off film. David Leitch does an outstanding job staging the huge action setpieces, every new addition to the cast (Vanessa Kirby, Idris Elba, Eiza Gonzalez, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Hart) seamlessly acclimates to the self-aware absurdity of this world and the winning snarky rapport between the titular characters (Johnson, Jason Statham) only gets stronger with them serving as the headliners instead of the direct support act.
14.Honey Boy: Shia LaBeouf's erratic behavior and substance abuse problems have commanded more attention than his onscreen work in recent years. Honey Boy provides a lot of insight into what inspired LaBeouf's mental health issues, which subsequently made me develop a ton of empathy for him. This semi-autobiographical drama fearlessly explores the relationship between a child actor (Noah Jupe) starring on a hit television series and his abusive, recovering addict father (LaBeouf in an alternately terrifying and heartbreaking performance that is truly revelatory) that's jealous of the success his son is having. Growing up in a hostile environment where your own parent terrorizes you on a daily basis is the type of nightmarish situation that I can't even begin to fathom and LaBeouf deserves to be lauded for having the courage to put his pain on display for the world to see.
13.Jumanji: The Next Level: Thanks to a sharp story that logically raises the stakes, additional character development and some great additions (Awkwafina, Danny DeVito, Danny Glover) to an already loaded ensemble cast (Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan), Jumanji: The Next Level manages to be even more clever, amusing and delightful than its predecessor.
12.Parasite: A weak, out of left field finale is the only thing that prevented Parasite from appearing in the top 10. Writer/director Bong Joon-Ho masterfully combines multiple genres (black comedy, thriller, satire, drama) to tell an engaging, tense and unpredictable story centered around an impoverished South Korean family that scams their way into securing jobs at the home of a tech mogul. Please don't let the presence of subtitles scare you off from watching this very accessible and engaging flick.
11.Booksmart: Remember when these things called comedies used to hit theaters every couple of months? Well, Olivia Wilde's directorial debut was a perfect reminder of the joys this sadly underserved genre can provide. Booksmart is a hysterical, smart coming-of-age tale full of memorable characters that should retrospectively have the same effect on today's teenagers that Superbad did on my generation.
10.The Beach Bum: The king of cinematic nihilism has found something that resembles a soul! The latest from the notoriously polarizing Harmony Korine (Spring Breakers, Gummo) still features plenty of vulgar excess, but underneath its trashy exterior lies an infectiously joyous tale about living life to its fullest regardless of circumstances. It also doesn't hurt that it's a trippy, insane stoner comedy featuring a career-best performance from Matthew McConaughey as a burnout poet named Moondog and a supporting cast (Snoop Dogg, Isla Fisher, Jonah Hill, Zac Efron, Martin Lawrence) full of heavy hitters that each get their moment to shine over the course of Moondog's freewheeling journey.
9.Zombieland: Double Tap: This is how you make a satisfying sequel folks. Zombieland: Double Tap is an enthusiastic reunion tour for the original creative team that retains every ounce of the quirky humor/ample gore/little bit of heart combo that made the first installment great while also bringing in enough new faces (Zoey Deutch, Rosario Dawson, Avan Jogia) and ideas (more powerful zombies, improvised weapons) to keep things fresh.
8.Just Mercy: Just Mercy is a powerful, urgent and captivating film about the injustices that occur in the United States legal system that many people in this country ignore or know nothing about. The true story of a falsely-accused death row inmate (Jamie Foxx in his best performance since Ray) and the lawyer (Michael B. Jordan) that helps free him after a nearly decade-long legal battle in the Alabama court system angers, educates and eventually uplifts. Hopefully this important, underrated gem will go onto find a wide audience after a very average wide opening last weekend.
7.Dolemite is My Name: Eddie Murphy has returned from the shadows to remind the world why he's one of the most magnetic and electrifying comic performers of all time. Aided by vivid, energetic direction from the great Craig Brewer (Hustle & Flow, Black Snake Moan) and a scene-stealing supporting cast (Wesley Snipes, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, Keegan Michael-Key, Mike Epps, Titus Burgess, Chris Rock), Murphy's passion project about the unusual, roadblock-filled path cult comedy icon Rudy Ray Moore faced on his way to finally achieving fame with the creation of the Dolemite character is both funny and inspiring as hell.
6.Long Shot: How can you make a romantic comedy that's centered around modern day politics without it suddenly descending into a groundswell of negativity? Well, you start by writing a script that is smart enough to poke fun at that world without brushing off the seriousness of the very specific issues female politicians face then cast a pair of multi-dimensional, immensely likable actors (Seth Rogen, Charlize Theron) that have tremendous chemistry in the lead roles. 2 hours later, you have an instant genre classic that also happens to be the most unlikely feel good movie of the year.
5.Uncut Gems: Getting pissed about who does and doesn't get recognized during awards season is arguably the most petty activity film diehards engage in on a yearly basis. The primary source of my perceived snub-fueled ire this year was Uncut Gems. The Safdie Brothers turned what easily could've been a pretty straightforward crime drama about a reckless POS degenerate gambler (Adam Sandler in a brilliantly scuzzy turn) whose massive debts are finally starting to catch up with him into a relentlessly chaotic adrenaline shot of a movie that displays the high-and-lows of gambling and delusional minds of the addicts that are always chasing the next score better than any other film I've ever seen.
4.Jojo Rabbit: I doubt that any other filmmaker working today besides Taika Waititi could've made a film like Jojo Rabbit work. With the help of a brilliant cast headlined by Scarlett Johansson, Thomasin McKenzie, Sam Rockwell and newcomer Roman Griffin Davis as the titular Jojo, Waititi turns a film about a young boy in Nazi-occupied Germany that happens to have Hitler as his imaginary friend (Waititi) that has his worldview challenged when he discovers his mother (Johansson) is hiding a Jewish girl (McKenzie) in their home into a hilarious, depressing and touching commentary on the absurdity of bigotry, and how getting to know people from a group you've been trained to fear can make that blind hate go away.
3.Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood: Quentin Tarantino's supposed second-to-last movie sees the celebrated filmmaker embracing a more restrained and personal approach while still retaining his distinct morbidly humorous flair by setting a laid-back buddy movie in the vibrant Hollywood of his childhood that made him fall in love with the glamorous world of entertainment. The performances from the huge ensemble cast are flawless across the board, the richly-detailed period atmosphere is intoxicating and the alternate history storytelling technique he's employed a bunch over the past decade is especially effective here as he explores what might've happened to the city had Sharon Tate not been murdered by the Manson Family in the summer of 1969.
2.Marriage Story: At no point does Noah Baumbach's divorce drama feel like a movie. The characters, the reasons why they're getting divorced and their disagreements over what's best for their child are so well-developed that it seems like a documentary about the process of divorce, which helps makes this an unbelievably devastating and rewarding watch. The authenticity that occupies every moment of this film is a testament to the rawness that this unreal cast (Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson, Laura Dern, Alan Alda, Ray Liotta, Julie Hagerty) puts into their performances as well as the unflinching honesty in which Baumbach portrays everything from the petty competition both parties engage in to win favor with their kids while they're battling for custody to how civility can slowly return to the relationship after the agonizing process has concluded.
1.John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum: Anybody that visits this site with any regularity and/or has known me for more than 5 minutes is aware of my deep-rooted love of the action genre. I've spent more time defending/championing the genre to people that have mocked it than I could possibly count and will watch just about every one that's released in a given year that isn't a Bruce Willis/Dolph Lundgren/Steven Seagal VOD special. This is all a lengthy prelude to say watching John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum was like if a religious individual got to be in the presence of the higher power they worship for 2 hours. I walked out of the theater with a smile so big that it would make Tom Hanks look like the saddest motherfucker on the planet. Injecting more humor, creative kills and martial arts into the staggeringly well-executed fight scenes this franchise has become known was enough to easily make Parabellum the most electrifying entry in this excellent series to-date. John Wick 4 can't come soon enough.
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
The Best and Worst of Martin Lawrence
“The Best and Worst of” series chronicles the career
highlights and lowlights of an actor starring in one of the week's
new theatrical releases. This week, I take a look at the filmography
of “Bad Boys for Life” star Martin Lawrence.
Films starring Martin Lawrence that I've seen:
Do the Right Thing
Bad Boys
Blue Streak
Big Momma's House
Black Knight
National Security
Bad Boys II
Big Momma's House 2
Wild Hogs
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
Death at a Funeral
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
The Beach Bum
Best Performance: The Beach Bum (2019)
Lawrence couldn't have possibly orchestrated a better big screen comeback than this. Harmony Korine basically just Lawrence run wild as a zany dolphin tour guide named Captain Wack who may or may not have a stunning lack of knowledge about the species he loves so much and the results were absolutely priceless. By completely embracing the combination of enthusiasm and recklessness that drives this preposterous character, Lawrence provides this abstract stoner comedy with its most uproarious 10 minutes of material.
Worst Performance: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)
Boy is it a blessing that Lawrence returned to acting because it would've been downright depressing if Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son ended up being his last big screen credit. His third go-round as an FBI agent who is somehow forced to pose as an obese elderly woman every time he's involved in an undercover operation was a low effort piece of work that nicely complements the monumentally unfunny jokes that occupy 100% of the runtime.
Best Film: Do the Right Thing (1989)
Spike Lee's debut is a stone cold masterpiece that reaches heights that he's yet to achieve since. Watching this film slowly morph from a breezy, vibrant comedy about the residents of a Brooklyn neighborhood on a brutally hot summer day to a devastatingly visceral depiction of race relations and police brutality made this is a distinctly haunting watch that I'll never forget.
Worst Film: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)
You won't get a lot of strong takes from me surrounding the Big Momma House's franchise. They were just silly, somewhat tasteless comedies that were the product of an era where male comedians wearing fatsuits got asses in the seats. After seeing Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son at the age of 20, I almost felt compelled to hail the previous two films as classics. The attempts at comedy here are so embarrassingly lazy and weak that it turns into a joyless, infuriating marathon of pain by the 15 minute mark.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “The Gentlemen” star Jeremy Strong.
Films starring Martin Lawrence that I've seen:
Do the Right Thing
Bad Boys
Blue Streak
Big Momma's House
Black Knight
National Security
Bad Boys II
Big Momma's House 2
Wild Hogs
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
Death at a Funeral
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
The Beach Bum
Best Performance: The Beach Bum (2019)
Lawrence couldn't have possibly orchestrated a better big screen comeback than this. Harmony Korine basically just Lawrence run wild as a zany dolphin tour guide named Captain Wack who may or may not have a stunning lack of knowledge about the species he loves so much and the results were absolutely priceless. By completely embracing the combination of enthusiasm and recklessness that drives this preposterous character, Lawrence provides this abstract stoner comedy with its most uproarious 10 minutes of material.
Worst Performance: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)
Boy is it a blessing that Lawrence returned to acting because it would've been downright depressing if Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son ended up being his last big screen credit. His third go-round as an FBI agent who is somehow forced to pose as an obese elderly woman every time he's involved in an undercover operation was a low effort piece of work that nicely complements the monumentally unfunny jokes that occupy 100% of the runtime.
Best Film: Do the Right Thing (1989)
Spike Lee's debut is a stone cold masterpiece that reaches heights that he's yet to achieve since. Watching this film slowly morph from a breezy, vibrant comedy about the residents of a Brooklyn neighborhood on a brutally hot summer day to a devastatingly visceral depiction of race relations and police brutality made this is a distinctly haunting watch that I'll never forget.
Worst Film: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)
You won't get a lot of strong takes from me surrounding the Big Momma House's franchise. They were just silly, somewhat tasteless comedies that were the product of an era where male comedians wearing fatsuits got asses in the seats. After seeing Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son at the age of 20, I almost felt compelled to hail the previous two films as classics. The attempts at comedy here are so embarrassingly lazy and weak that it turns into a joyless, infuriating marathon of pain by the 15 minute mark.
Thank you for reading this week's edition of “The Best and Worst of”. The next victim of my praise and ire will be “The Gentlemen” star Jeremy Strong.
Tuesday, January 14, 2020
2019 in Music: A Year in Review
2019 was a pretty unusual year throughout music. Established artists made sudden, drastic changes to their sound with a wide variety of results (Tyler, the Creator, Sturgill Simpson, BROCKHAMPTON), beacons of reliability stumbled (Fallujah, ScHoolboy Q, Offset) and acts that had been long creatively stagnant suddenly got rejuvenated (Whitechapel, Children of Bodom, Korn). Unsurprisingly, this general weirdness led to a slate of records that wasn't overloaded with true greatness or total failures, but remained interesting nonetheless. Plus any year that produces something as essential as Norman Fucking Rockwell! will never be looked back at with complete contempt by me. Below you'll find a number of 2019 retrospective lists including my picks for the 50 best songs, biggest surprises/letdowns and a worst to best ranking of every EP/LP I heard with grades. Hope you enjoy and may the next decade bless us with many more high quality pieces of music.
EP's:
6.Drake-The Best in the World Pack (C)
5.Future-Save Me (C+)
4.Lil Nas X-7 (B-)
3.Kevin Abstract-ARIZONA baby (B)
2.$ucideboy$ and Travis Barker-Live Fast Die Whenever (B)
1.Action Bronson and The Alchemist-Lamb Over Rice (B)
LP's:
103.ScHoolboy Q-CrasH Talk (D+)
102.Hootie & the Blowfish-Imperfect Circle (D+)
101.Kanye West-Jesus is King (C-)
100.Charli XCX-Charli (C-)
99.Tyler, the Creator-IGOR (C-)
98.James Blake-Assume Form (C-)
97.Yelawolf-Trunk Muzik 3 (C)
96.Pile-Green and Gray (C)
95.PUP-Morbid Stuff (C)
94.Baroness-Gold & Grey (C)
93.Sharon Van Etten-Remind Me Tomorrow (C+)
92.Hath-Of Rot and Ruin (C+)
91.Jackboys-Jackboys (C+)
90.Vampire Weekend-Father of the Bride (C+)
89.Beast Coast-Escape from New York (C+)
88.Secret Band-LP2 (C+)
87.JPEGMAFIA-All My Heroes Are Cornballs (C+)
86.Foals-Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Part 1 (C+)
85.Future-The WZRD (C+)
84.Wristmeetsrazor-Misery Never Forgets (C+)
83.Offset-FATHER OF 4 (C+)
82.The Number Twelve Looks Like You-Wild Gods (C+)
81.Trippie Redd-A Love Letter to You 4 (C+)
80.Angel Olsen-All Mirrors (C+)
79.Thaiboy Digital-Legendary Member (B-)
78.Soilwork-Verkligheten (B-)
77.Camilla Cabello-Romance (B-)
76.The Black Keys-“Let's Rock” (B-)
75.Kevin Abstract-ARIZONA BABY (B-)
74.DaBaby-Kirk (B-)
73.King Princess-Cheap Queen (B-)
72.Royal Coda-Compassion (B-)
71.Taylor Swift-Lover (B-)
70.Caroline Polachek-Pang (B-)
69.DaBaby-Baby on Baby (B-)
68.Fallujah-Undying Light (B-)
67.Antagonize-Slip Death (B-)
66.Amon Amarth-Berserker (B)
65.Injury Reserve-Injury Reserve (B)
64.Maggie Rogers-Heard It in A Past Life (B)
63.Exhumed-Horror (B)
62.Fit for An Autopsy-The Sea of Tragic Beasts (B)
61.EARTHGANG-Mirrorland (B)
60.Inculter-Fatal Visions (B)
59.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Bandana (B)
58.Car Bomb-Mordial (B)
57.Trippie Redd-! (B)
56.Thy Art is Murder-Human Target (B)
55.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Infest the Rats' Nest (B)
54.Weyes Blood-Titanic Rising (B)
53.As I Lay Dying-Shaped by Fire (B)
52.Knocked Loose-A Different Shade of Blue (B)
51.Rico Nasty and Kenny Beats-Anger Management (B)
50.Hozier-Wasteland, Baby! (B)
49.Fleshgod Apocalypse-Veleno (B)
48.Big K.R.I.T.-K.R.I.T. IZ Here (B)
47.Kelsey Lu-Blood (B)
46.Carnifex-World War X (B)
45.Rings of Saturn-Gidim (B)
44.Blood Incantation-Hidden History of the Human Race (B)
43.City Morgue-City Morgue Vol.2: As Good as Dead (B)
42.Despised Icon-Purgatory (B)
41.Megan thee Stallion-Fever (B)
40.While She Sleeps-SO WHAT? (B)
39.Young Nudy & P'ierre Bourne-Sli'mierre (B)
38.Carly Rae Jepsen-Dedicated (B)
37.Gunna-Drip or Drown 2 (B)
36.Post Malone-Hollywood's Bleeding (B)
35.Born of Osiris-The Simulation (B)
34.Billie Eilish-When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (B)
33.Lil Pump-Harverd Dropout (B)
32.Venom Prison-Samsara (B)
31.BROCKHAMPTON-GINGER (B)
30.Killswitch Engage-Atonement (B)
29.Korn-The Nothing (B)
28.Equipoise-Demirgus (B+)
27.The Callous Daoboys-Die on Mars (B+)
26.Critical Defiance-Misconception (B+)
25.2 Chainz-Rap or Go to the League (B+)
24.Itacha-The Language of Injury (B+)
23.Counterparts-Nothing Left to Love (B+)
22.Sadistic Ritual-Visionarie of Death (B+)
21.Norma Jean-All Hail (B+)
20.Periphery-Periphery IV: HAIL STAN (B+)
19.Slipknot-We Are Not Your Kind (B+)
18.Shadow of Intent-Melancholy (B+)
17.After the Burial-Evergreen (B+)
16.Tove Lo-Sunshine Kitty (B+)
15.Ariana Grande-thank u, next (B+)
14.Danny Brown-uknowwhatimsayin? (B+)
13.Sturgill Simpson-Sound & Fury (B+)
12.FKA twigs-Magadelene (B+)
11.Moon Tooth-Crux (B+)
10.Young Thug-So Much Fun (B+)
9.Anderson. Paak-Ventura (B+)
8.Banks-III (A-)
7.Thank You Scientist-Terraformer (A-)
6.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds (A-)
5.Children of Bodom-Hexed (A-)
4.Whitechapel-The Valley (A-)
3.Denzel Curry-ZUU (A-)
2.Allegaeon-Apoptosis (A)
1.Lana Del Rey-Norman Fucking Rockwell! (A+)
Biggest Surprises:
1.Whitechapel-The Valley
2.Children of Bodom-Hexed
3.Korn-The Nothing
4.Born of Osiris-The Simulation
5.Carnifex-World War X
Biggest Letdowns:
1.Fallujah-Undying Light
2.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Bandana
3.ScHoolboy Q-CrasH Talk
4.Car Bomb-Mordial
5.Offset-FATHER OF 4
Most Underrated:
1.Denzel Curry-ZUU
2.Whitechpel-The Valley
3.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-The Correaltion Between Entrace and Exit Wounds
4.Banks-III
5.Moon Tooth-Crux
Most Overrated:
1.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Bandana
2.Tyler, the Creator-IGOR
3.JPEGMAFIA-All My Heroes Are Cornballs
4.Angel Olsen-All Mirrors
5.PUP-Morbid Stuff
Top Discoveries:
1.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...
2.Sadistic Ritual
3.Ithaca
4.Critical Defiance
5.Venom Prison
Top 50 Songs (in alphabetical order by artist):
After the Burial-Behold the Crown
Alleageon-Exothermic Chemical Combustion
Alleageon-Interphase/Meiosis
Alleageon-Metaphobia
Alleageon-Tsunami and Submergence
Anderson. Paak-Chosen One (feat. Sonyae Elise)
Anderson. Paak-Jet Black (feat. Brandy)
Ariana Grande-bloodline
Banks-Gimme
Banks-Propaganda
Banks-Till Now
BROCKHAMPTON-NO HALO
Children of Bodom-Kick in a Spleen
Children of Bodom-Relapse (Nature of my Crime)
Dance Gavin Dance-Head Hunter
Danny Brown-Savage Nomad
Denzel Curry-BIRDZ (feat. Rick Ross)
Denzel Curry-RICKY
Denzel Curry-WISH (feat. Kiddo Marv)
FKA twigs-Holy Terrain (feat. Future)
FKA twigs-Mary Magadelene
Gunna-Out the Hood
Hozier-No Plan
Kelsey Lu-Pushing Against the Wind
Lana Del Rey-California
Lana Del Rey-Cinnamon Girl
Lana Del Rey-Fuck It, I Love You
Lana Del Rey-The Greatest
Lana Del Rey-Norman Fucking Rockwell
Lil Pump-Nu Uh
Moon Tooth-Rhythm & Roar
Moon Tooth-Trust
Periphery-Garden in the Bones
SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-Dissertation of an Idle Voice
SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-Put on a Show, Don't Let Them You See Fall
Shadow of Intent-Gravesinger
Slipknot-Solway Firth
Sturgill Simpson-Sing Along
Thank You Scientist-Everyday Ghosts
Thank You Scientist-Swarm
Tove Lo-Jacques (feat. Jax James)
Venom Prison-Uterine Industrialization
The Weeknd-Blinding Lights
Whitechapel-Doom Woods
Whitechapel-Hickory Creek
Whitechapel-When a Demon Defiles a Witch
Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Dispatch (feat. DaBaby)
Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Shotta (feat. Megan Thee Stallion)
Young Thug-Hot (feat. Gunna)
Young Thug-Mannequin Challenge (feat. Juice WRLD)
EP's:
6.Drake-The Best in the World Pack (C)
5.Future-Save Me (C+)
4.Lil Nas X-7 (B-)
3.Kevin Abstract-ARIZONA baby (B)
2.$ucideboy$ and Travis Barker-Live Fast Die Whenever (B)
1.Action Bronson and The Alchemist-Lamb Over Rice (B)
LP's:
103.ScHoolboy Q-CrasH Talk (D+)
102.Hootie & the Blowfish-Imperfect Circle (D+)
101.Kanye West-Jesus is King (C-)
100.Charli XCX-Charli (C-)
99.Tyler, the Creator-IGOR (C-)
98.James Blake-Assume Form (C-)
97.Yelawolf-Trunk Muzik 3 (C)
96.Pile-Green and Gray (C)
95.PUP-Morbid Stuff (C)
94.Baroness-Gold & Grey (C)
93.Sharon Van Etten-Remind Me Tomorrow (C+)
92.Hath-Of Rot and Ruin (C+)
91.Jackboys-Jackboys (C+)
90.Vampire Weekend-Father of the Bride (C+)
89.Beast Coast-Escape from New York (C+)
88.Secret Band-LP2 (C+)
87.JPEGMAFIA-All My Heroes Are Cornballs (C+)
86.Foals-Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Part 1 (C+)
85.Future-The WZRD (C+)
84.Wristmeetsrazor-Misery Never Forgets (C+)
83.Offset-FATHER OF 4 (C+)
82.The Number Twelve Looks Like You-Wild Gods (C+)
81.Trippie Redd-A Love Letter to You 4 (C+)
80.Angel Olsen-All Mirrors (C+)
79.Thaiboy Digital-Legendary Member (B-)
78.Soilwork-Verkligheten (B-)
77.Camilla Cabello-Romance (B-)
76.The Black Keys-“Let's Rock” (B-)
75.Kevin Abstract-ARIZONA BABY (B-)
74.DaBaby-Kirk (B-)
73.King Princess-Cheap Queen (B-)
72.Royal Coda-Compassion (B-)
71.Taylor Swift-Lover (B-)
70.Caroline Polachek-Pang (B-)
69.DaBaby-Baby on Baby (B-)
68.Fallujah-Undying Light (B-)
67.Antagonize-Slip Death (B-)
66.Amon Amarth-Berserker (B)
65.Injury Reserve-Injury Reserve (B)
64.Maggie Rogers-Heard It in A Past Life (B)
63.Exhumed-Horror (B)
62.Fit for An Autopsy-The Sea of Tragic Beasts (B)
61.EARTHGANG-Mirrorland (B)
60.Inculter-Fatal Visions (B)
59.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Bandana (B)
58.Car Bomb-Mordial (B)
57.Trippie Redd-! (B)
56.Thy Art is Murder-Human Target (B)
55.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Infest the Rats' Nest (B)
54.Weyes Blood-Titanic Rising (B)
53.As I Lay Dying-Shaped by Fire (B)
52.Knocked Loose-A Different Shade of Blue (B)
51.Rico Nasty and Kenny Beats-Anger Management (B)
50.Hozier-Wasteland, Baby! (B)
49.Fleshgod Apocalypse-Veleno (B)
48.Big K.R.I.T.-K.R.I.T. IZ Here (B)
47.Kelsey Lu-Blood (B)
46.Carnifex-World War X (B)
45.Rings of Saturn-Gidim (B)
44.Blood Incantation-Hidden History of the Human Race (B)
43.City Morgue-City Morgue Vol.2: As Good as Dead (B)
42.Despised Icon-Purgatory (B)
41.Megan thee Stallion-Fever (B)
40.While She Sleeps-SO WHAT? (B)
39.Young Nudy & P'ierre Bourne-Sli'mierre (B)
38.Carly Rae Jepsen-Dedicated (B)
37.Gunna-Drip or Drown 2 (B)
36.Post Malone-Hollywood's Bleeding (B)
35.Born of Osiris-The Simulation (B)
34.Billie Eilish-When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (B)
33.Lil Pump-Harverd Dropout (B)
32.Venom Prison-Samsara (B)
31.BROCKHAMPTON-GINGER (B)
30.Killswitch Engage-Atonement (B)
29.Korn-The Nothing (B)
28.Equipoise-Demirgus (B+)
27.The Callous Daoboys-Die on Mars (B+)
26.Critical Defiance-Misconception (B+)
25.2 Chainz-Rap or Go to the League (B+)
24.Itacha-The Language of Injury (B+)
23.Counterparts-Nothing Left to Love (B+)
22.Sadistic Ritual-Visionarie of Death (B+)
21.Norma Jean-All Hail (B+)
20.Periphery-Periphery IV: HAIL STAN (B+)
19.Slipknot-We Are Not Your Kind (B+)
18.Shadow of Intent-Melancholy (B+)
17.After the Burial-Evergreen (B+)
16.Tove Lo-Sunshine Kitty (B+)
15.Ariana Grande-thank u, next (B+)
14.Danny Brown-uknowwhatimsayin? (B+)
13.Sturgill Simpson-Sound & Fury (B+)
12.FKA twigs-Magadelene (B+)
11.Moon Tooth-Crux (B+)
10.Young Thug-So Much Fun (B+)
9.Anderson. Paak-Ventura (B+)
8.Banks-III (A-)
7.Thank You Scientist-Terraformer (A-)
6.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds (A-)
5.Children of Bodom-Hexed (A-)
4.Whitechapel-The Valley (A-)
3.Denzel Curry-ZUU (A-)
2.Allegaeon-Apoptosis (A)
1.Lana Del Rey-Norman Fucking Rockwell! (A+)
Biggest Surprises:
1.Whitechapel-The Valley
2.Children of Bodom-Hexed
3.Korn-The Nothing
4.Born of Osiris-The Simulation
5.Carnifex-World War X
Biggest Letdowns:
1.Fallujah-Undying Light
2.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Bandana
3.ScHoolboy Q-CrasH Talk
4.Car Bomb-Mordial
5.Offset-FATHER OF 4
Most Underrated:
1.Denzel Curry-ZUU
2.Whitechpel-The Valley
3.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-The Correaltion Between Entrace and Exit Wounds
4.Banks-III
5.Moon Tooth-Crux
Most Overrated:
1.Freddie Gibbs & Madlib-Bandana
2.Tyler, the Creator-IGOR
3.JPEGMAFIA-All My Heroes Are Cornballs
4.Angel Olsen-All Mirrors
5.PUP-Morbid Stuff
Top Discoveries:
1.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...
2.Sadistic Ritual
3.Ithaca
4.Critical Defiance
5.Venom Prison
Top 50 Songs (in alphabetical order by artist):
After the Burial-Behold the Crown
Alleageon-Exothermic Chemical Combustion
Alleageon-Interphase/Meiosis
Alleageon-Metaphobia
Alleageon-Tsunami and Submergence
Anderson. Paak-Chosen One (feat. Sonyae Elise)
Anderson. Paak-Jet Black (feat. Brandy)
Ariana Grande-bloodline
Banks-Gimme
Banks-Propaganda
Banks-Till Now
BROCKHAMPTON-NO HALO
Children of Bodom-Kick in a Spleen
Children of Bodom-Relapse (Nature of my Crime)
Dance Gavin Dance-Head Hunter
Danny Brown-Savage Nomad
Denzel Curry-BIRDZ (feat. Rick Ross)
Denzel Curry-RICKY
Denzel Curry-WISH (feat. Kiddo Marv)
FKA twigs-Holy Terrain (feat. Future)
FKA twigs-Mary Magadelene
Gunna-Out the Hood
Hozier-No Plan
Kelsey Lu-Pushing Against the Wind
Lana Del Rey-California
Lana Del Rey-Cinnamon Girl
Lana Del Rey-Fuck It, I Love You
Lana Del Rey-The Greatest
Lana Del Rey-Norman Fucking Rockwell
Lil Pump-Nu Uh
Moon Tooth-Rhythm & Roar
Moon Tooth-Trust
Periphery-Garden in the Bones
SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-Dissertation of an Idle Voice
SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-Put on a Show, Don't Let Them You See Fall
Shadow of Intent-Gravesinger
Slipknot-Solway Firth
Sturgill Simpson-Sing Along
Thank You Scientist-Everyday Ghosts
Thank You Scientist-Swarm
Tove Lo-Jacques (feat. Jax James)
Venom Prison-Uterine Industrialization
The Weeknd-Blinding Lights
Whitechapel-Doom Woods
Whitechapel-Hickory Creek
Whitechapel-When a Demon Defiles a Witch
Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Dispatch (feat. DaBaby)
Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne-Shotta (feat. Megan Thee Stallion)
Young Thug-Hot (feat. Gunna)
Young Thug-Mannequin Challenge (feat. Juice WRLD)
Monday, January 13, 2020
Top 15 Albums of 2019
Honorable Mentions (in alphabetical order):
After the Burial-Evergreen
Periphery-Periphery IV: HAIL STAN
Shadow of Intent-Melancholy
Slipknot-We Are Not Your Kind
Tove Lo-Sunshine Kitty
15.Ariana Grande-thank u, next:
After a few spins, thank u, next left me feeling pretty cold. While it was a cohesive and well-produced effort, I felt like it lacked variety, was light on earworms and didn't sufficiently utilize Grande's extensive vocal range. After a few more, that indifference quickly blossomed into admiration. The subdued hooks are a perfect match for the melodic trap beats, the quality of tracks is consistent throughout and above all, it does a terrific job of giving the world a window into her mind during a particularly tumultuous year in her life. It's a highly effective act of musical healing that shows off Grande's maturity and talent in equal measure.
Favorite Tracks: 1.bloodline 2.NASA 3.bad idea
14.Danny Brown-uknowwhatimsayin?:
A breather was kind of necessary after the emotionally-draining journey through Danny Brown's personal hell that was Atrocity Exhibition and that's exactly what uknowwhatimsayin? provides. While there are serious moments ("Shine", "Combat", "Dirty Laundry") scattered throughout, it predominantly consists of Brown laying down aggressive bars behind delightfully abstract production from the likes of Q-Tip, Flying Lotus and Paul White. This significantly less heavy tone leads to a record that is both easy to digest and a fitting entry into Brown's uniquely eccentric catalog.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Savage Nomad 2.Negro Spiritual (feat. JPEGMAFIA) 3.Dirty Laundry
13.Sturgill Simpson-Sound & Fury:
While he has no ties to the genre, Sturgill Simpson embodies the punk aesthetic as well as anyone making music right now. He's the kind of artist that ignores what he did in the past or the trends audiences are responding to at that particular moment in time and just does whatever the hell he wants to when he crafts new material. Case in point: He just followed up the country soul/R&B effort (2016's A Sailor's Guide to Earth) that allowed him to achieve a ton of crossover commercial success with a woozy groove-driven psychedelic blues rock record that sounds like a dance party being held in an acid den at the dawn of the Apocalypse. His dedication to his own singular experimental vision is incredibly admirable and I hope whatever genre overhaul he undergoes next will produce something as electrifying as Sound & Fury.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Sing Along 2.All Said and Done 3.Remember to Breathe
12.FKA twigs-Magadelene:
If I had gotten to spend more time with it, there's a strong chance that the long-awaited comeback record from the unclassifiable British singer/songwriter would be much higher on my list. Her use of electronic-influenced production that slowly builds in intensity by the second paired with her fearless introspective lyrics and angelic, almost operatic vocals makes Magadelene a thrillingly powerful listen that cuts deep.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Mary Magadelene 2.Holy Terrain (feat. Future) 3.Fallen Alien
11.Moon Tooth-Crux:
This Long Island-based quintet refers to their music as "aggressive progressive". That expert opinion is a perfect description of what occupies nearly every moment of their sophomore LP Crux. Throwing huge, heavy riffs that takes cues from everything from sludge to thrash into a blender with soaring falsetto vocals and some prog melodies allows Moon Tooth to embody pretty much the entire metal spectrum without ever sounding disjointed or disingenuous.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Rhythm and Roar 2.Trust 3.Thumb Spike
10.Young Thug-So Much Fun:
Embracing a pretty straightforward trap sound (or at least the closest hip hop's proudest weirdo will ever come to it) has resulted in Young Thug's finest release since 2016's Jeffrey. As great as his signature eccentricity is, it was nice to see him dial it back a bit to make an accessible, high energy record full of terrific upbeat production and big hooks that lives up to its name.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Mannequin Challenge (feat. Juice WRLD) 2.Hot (feat. Gunna) 3.Cartier Gucci Scarf (feat. Lil Duke)
9.Anderson. Paak-Ventura:
The absurdly talented singer/rapper/drummer has never sounded better than he does on Ventura. Paak's ode to old school funk/soul is a beautiful collection of bittersweet love songs that makes brilliant use of his smooth vocals, endless charisma and knack for picking great guest artists (Andre 3000, Smokey Robinson, Lalah Hathaway, Brandy, Sonyae Elise) that come in and really elevate tracks.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Jet Black (feat. Brandy) 2.Chosen One (feat. Sonyae Elise) 3.Yada Yada
8.Banks-III:
Seeing a number of songs from this record performed live in September allowed me to develop a much deeper appreciation for it. By utilizing the most consistently nuanced, dynamic production of her career to-date, Banks receives the vividly detailed backdrop that was needed to bring a bit of a new edge to the emotional, alternately swagger-and-pain-filled electropop sound she's damn near perfected throughout her small but impressive discography.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Till Now 2.Propaganda 3.Gimme
7.Thank You Scientist-Terraformer:
Lineup changes are always a scary proposition for a band. Adding new members can potentially change everything from the dynamic within the group to the way fans respond to the music. Thank You Scientist was faced with an especially terrifying transition when a trio of founding members suddenly exited the band shortly after the release of their third LP Stranger Heads Prevail in 2016. Thankfully, losing nearly half of the people that were responsible for them becoming an acclaimed act with a devoted cult following had no ill effects on the New Jersey-bred rockers. In fact, Terraformer features some of the most sprawling, catchy and satisfying jazzy prog epics they've ever concocted. Big shoutout to Joe Fadem, Sam Greenfield and Joe Gullace for stepping in and helping a great American institution survive.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Swarm 2.Everyday Ghosts 3.Son of a Serpent
6.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds:
These dealers of relentless chaos easily topped my list of discoveries in 2019. Their full-length debut The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds is a mathcore powerhouse that swiftly alternates between the worlds of aggressive and melodic with the grace and confidence of a band that's been around for decades. Hopefully this will go down as the first chapter of a long and successful career.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Put on a Show, Don't Let Them See You Fall 2.Disdain Coupled with a Wide Smile 3.Disseration of an Idle Voice
5.Children of Bodom-Hexed:
Children of Bodom has been around for a long-ass time and like a lot of grizzled veteran acts, they had fallen into a vicious cycle of putting out competent yet ultimately uninspiring releases that looked like it had no end in sight. Then after 15 years, it suddenly did. Hexed saw Bodom enthusiastically dive back into their big bag of cornball melodeath/power metal tricks (blistering riffs, big, stupid keyboard lines, their signature dueling guitar/synth solos) and the result is a dizzying, gloriously nostalgic ride that reminded me just how fucking fun this band is when they're firing on all cylinders. The entire lineup save for frontman/lead guitarist Alexi Laiho and rhythm guitarist Daniel Freyberg departed about a month ago, so this likely won't turn into a long-term resurrection, but even a brief return to their vintage form was more than I could've ever hoped for at this stage of their career.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Kick in a Spleen 2.Relapse (The Nature of My Crime) 3.Under Grass and Clover
4.Whitechapel-The Valley:
Continuing the theme of unexpected 2019 comebacks was Tennessee extreme metal outfit Whitechapel. However, unlike Children of Bodom, Whitechapel achieved success by taking their music into a completely different direction that would've seemed unfathomable during the Somatic Defliement/This is Exile days. The Valley is a melancholic concept album about the trauma vocalist Phil Bozeman underwent as a child that sees the group showing off a previously unseen introspective side in their lyrics while also adding clean vocals, extended melodic sections and sludge/doom riffs to their crushing deathcore attack. It's not always an easy listen as Bozeman details a variety of difficult subject matters over the course of its 10 tracks including his mother's battle with schizophrenia and the abuse he endured from his stepfather, but it's a tremendously powerful one that fully realizes the songwriting strength that they had only flashed in spurts in the past.
Favorite Tracks: 1.When a Demon Defiles a Witch 2.Hickory Creek 3.Doom Woods
3.Denzel Curry-ZUU:
Where last year's TAB1300 displayed his versatility, ZUU shows off Curry's gift for making infectious bangers that go unbelievably hard. This fully-freestyled love letter to the 25-year old rapper's hometown of Miami is loaded with massive trap/southern anthems that will assault subwoofers ("Birdz", "P.A.T"), set clubs on fire ("Wish", "Automatic") or simply inspire good times ("Ricky", "Carolmart") in any setting.
Favorite Tracks: 1.BIRDZ (feat. Rick Ross) 2.RICKY 3.WISH (feat. Kiddo Marv)
2.Alleageon-Apoptosis:
Apoptosis tones down the prog elements that were heavily featured on their superb, epic-length 2016 LP Proponent of Sentience in favor of a more streamlined death metal sound that features more blistering technical guitarwork, huge melodeath riffs and guttural low/piercing high screams. Scaling back on dynamism isn't usually a formula for improvement, but Alleageon's ability to relentlessly bombard the listener with addictive, gloriously high octane extreme music shows that better results can come from a less complex approach.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Metaphobia 2.Exothermic Chemical Combustion 3.Tsunami and Submergence
1.Lana Del Rey-Norman Fucking Rockwell!:
Lana Del Rey and producer Jack Antonoff capped off a decade of pop music that they were in instrumental shaping by crafting a masterpiece that their peers are going to have a very hard time topping. The marriage between Antonoff's vibrant musical canvas that features psychedelic guitars and lush strings in addition to his usual array of booming piano lines, and Del Rey's seemingly limitless vocal range is just stunning to behold. It's exactly the dreary yet hopeful record that Del Rey's entire career has been building up to and there couldn't have possibly been a better time in history to release it than 2019 when the world needed its message of holding onto hope in a world plagued by pain and suffering more than ever.
Favorite Tracks: 1.California 2.Norman Fucking Rockwell 3.Cinnamon Girl
After the Burial-Evergreen
Periphery-Periphery IV: HAIL STAN
Shadow of Intent-Melancholy
Slipknot-We Are Not Your Kind
Tove Lo-Sunshine Kitty
15.Ariana Grande-thank u, next:
After a few spins, thank u, next left me feeling pretty cold. While it was a cohesive and well-produced effort, I felt like it lacked variety, was light on earworms and didn't sufficiently utilize Grande's extensive vocal range. After a few more, that indifference quickly blossomed into admiration. The subdued hooks are a perfect match for the melodic trap beats, the quality of tracks is consistent throughout and above all, it does a terrific job of giving the world a window into her mind during a particularly tumultuous year in her life. It's a highly effective act of musical healing that shows off Grande's maturity and talent in equal measure.
Favorite Tracks: 1.bloodline 2.NASA 3.bad idea
14.Danny Brown-uknowwhatimsayin?:
A breather was kind of necessary after the emotionally-draining journey through Danny Brown's personal hell that was Atrocity Exhibition and that's exactly what uknowwhatimsayin? provides. While there are serious moments ("Shine", "Combat", "Dirty Laundry") scattered throughout, it predominantly consists of Brown laying down aggressive bars behind delightfully abstract production from the likes of Q-Tip, Flying Lotus and Paul White. This significantly less heavy tone leads to a record that is both easy to digest and a fitting entry into Brown's uniquely eccentric catalog.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Savage Nomad 2.Negro Spiritual (feat. JPEGMAFIA) 3.Dirty Laundry
13.Sturgill Simpson-Sound & Fury:
While he has no ties to the genre, Sturgill Simpson embodies the punk aesthetic as well as anyone making music right now. He's the kind of artist that ignores what he did in the past or the trends audiences are responding to at that particular moment in time and just does whatever the hell he wants to when he crafts new material. Case in point: He just followed up the country soul/R&B effort (2016's A Sailor's Guide to Earth) that allowed him to achieve a ton of crossover commercial success with a woozy groove-driven psychedelic blues rock record that sounds like a dance party being held in an acid den at the dawn of the Apocalypse. His dedication to his own singular experimental vision is incredibly admirable and I hope whatever genre overhaul he undergoes next will produce something as electrifying as Sound & Fury.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Sing Along 2.All Said and Done 3.Remember to Breathe
12.FKA twigs-Magadelene:
If I had gotten to spend more time with it, there's a strong chance that the long-awaited comeback record from the unclassifiable British singer/songwriter would be much higher on my list. Her use of electronic-influenced production that slowly builds in intensity by the second paired with her fearless introspective lyrics and angelic, almost operatic vocals makes Magadelene a thrillingly powerful listen that cuts deep.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Mary Magadelene 2.Holy Terrain (feat. Future) 3.Fallen Alien
11.Moon Tooth-Crux:
This Long Island-based quintet refers to their music as "aggressive progressive". That expert opinion is a perfect description of what occupies nearly every moment of their sophomore LP Crux. Throwing huge, heavy riffs that takes cues from everything from sludge to thrash into a blender with soaring falsetto vocals and some prog melodies allows Moon Tooth to embody pretty much the entire metal spectrum without ever sounding disjointed or disingenuous.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Rhythm and Roar 2.Trust 3.Thumb Spike
10.Young Thug-So Much Fun:
Embracing a pretty straightforward trap sound (or at least the closest hip hop's proudest weirdo will ever come to it) has resulted in Young Thug's finest release since 2016's Jeffrey. As great as his signature eccentricity is, it was nice to see him dial it back a bit to make an accessible, high energy record full of terrific upbeat production and big hooks that lives up to its name.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Mannequin Challenge (feat. Juice WRLD) 2.Hot (feat. Gunna) 3.Cartier Gucci Scarf (feat. Lil Duke)
9.Anderson. Paak-Ventura:
The absurdly talented singer/rapper/drummer has never sounded better than he does on Ventura. Paak's ode to old school funk/soul is a beautiful collection of bittersweet love songs that makes brilliant use of his smooth vocals, endless charisma and knack for picking great guest artists (Andre 3000, Smokey Robinson, Lalah Hathaway, Brandy, Sonyae Elise) that come in and really elevate tracks.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Jet Black (feat. Brandy) 2.Chosen One (feat. Sonyae Elise) 3.Yada Yada
8.Banks-III:
Seeing a number of songs from this record performed live in September allowed me to develop a much deeper appreciation for it. By utilizing the most consistently nuanced, dynamic production of her career to-date, Banks receives the vividly detailed backdrop that was needed to bring a bit of a new edge to the emotional, alternately swagger-and-pain-filled electropop sound she's damn near perfected throughout her small but impressive discography.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Till Now 2.Propaganda 3.Gimme
7.Thank You Scientist-Terraformer:
Lineup changes are always a scary proposition for a band. Adding new members can potentially change everything from the dynamic within the group to the way fans respond to the music. Thank You Scientist was faced with an especially terrifying transition when a trio of founding members suddenly exited the band shortly after the release of their third LP Stranger Heads Prevail in 2016. Thankfully, losing nearly half of the people that were responsible for them becoming an acclaimed act with a devoted cult following had no ill effects on the New Jersey-bred rockers. In fact, Terraformer features some of the most sprawling, catchy and satisfying jazzy prog epics they've ever concocted. Big shoutout to Joe Fadem, Sam Greenfield and Joe Gullace for stepping in and helping a great American institution survive.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Swarm 2.Everyday Ghosts 3.Son of a Serpent
6.SeeYouSpaceCowboy...-The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds:
These dealers of relentless chaos easily topped my list of discoveries in 2019. Their full-length debut The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds is a mathcore powerhouse that swiftly alternates between the worlds of aggressive and melodic with the grace and confidence of a band that's been around for decades. Hopefully this will go down as the first chapter of a long and successful career.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Put on a Show, Don't Let Them See You Fall 2.Disdain Coupled with a Wide Smile 3.Disseration of an Idle Voice
5.Children of Bodom-Hexed:
Children of Bodom has been around for a long-ass time and like a lot of grizzled veteran acts, they had fallen into a vicious cycle of putting out competent yet ultimately uninspiring releases that looked like it had no end in sight. Then after 15 years, it suddenly did. Hexed saw Bodom enthusiastically dive back into their big bag of cornball melodeath/power metal tricks (blistering riffs, big, stupid keyboard lines, their signature dueling guitar/synth solos) and the result is a dizzying, gloriously nostalgic ride that reminded me just how fucking fun this band is when they're firing on all cylinders. The entire lineup save for frontman/lead guitarist Alexi Laiho and rhythm guitarist Daniel Freyberg departed about a month ago, so this likely won't turn into a long-term resurrection, but even a brief return to their vintage form was more than I could've ever hoped for at this stage of their career.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Kick in a Spleen 2.Relapse (The Nature of My Crime) 3.Under Grass and Clover
4.Whitechapel-The Valley:
Continuing the theme of unexpected 2019 comebacks was Tennessee extreme metal outfit Whitechapel. However, unlike Children of Bodom, Whitechapel achieved success by taking their music into a completely different direction that would've seemed unfathomable during the Somatic Defliement/This is Exile days. The Valley is a melancholic concept album about the trauma vocalist Phil Bozeman underwent as a child that sees the group showing off a previously unseen introspective side in their lyrics while also adding clean vocals, extended melodic sections and sludge/doom riffs to their crushing deathcore attack. It's not always an easy listen as Bozeman details a variety of difficult subject matters over the course of its 10 tracks including his mother's battle with schizophrenia and the abuse he endured from his stepfather, but it's a tremendously powerful one that fully realizes the songwriting strength that they had only flashed in spurts in the past.
Favorite Tracks: 1.When a Demon Defiles a Witch 2.Hickory Creek 3.Doom Woods
3.Denzel Curry-ZUU:
Where last year's TAB1300 displayed his versatility, ZUU shows off Curry's gift for making infectious bangers that go unbelievably hard. This fully-freestyled love letter to the 25-year old rapper's hometown of Miami is loaded with massive trap/southern anthems that will assault subwoofers ("Birdz", "P.A.T"), set clubs on fire ("Wish", "Automatic") or simply inspire good times ("Ricky", "Carolmart") in any setting.
Favorite Tracks: 1.BIRDZ (feat. Rick Ross) 2.RICKY 3.WISH (feat. Kiddo Marv)
2.Alleageon-Apoptosis:
Apoptosis tones down the prog elements that were heavily featured on their superb, epic-length 2016 LP Proponent of Sentience in favor of a more streamlined death metal sound that features more blistering technical guitarwork, huge melodeath riffs and guttural low/piercing high screams. Scaling back on dynamism isn't usually a formula for improvement, but Alleageon's ability to relentlessly bombard the listener with addictive, gloriously high octane extreme music shows that better results can come from a less complex approach.
Favorite Tracks: 1.Metaphobia 2.Exothermic Chemical Combustion 3.Tsunami and Submergence
1.Lana Del Rey-Norman Fucking Rockwell!:
Lana Del Rey and producer Jack Antonoff capped off a decade of pop music that they were in instrumental shaping by crafting a masterpiece that their peers are going to have a very hard time topping. The marriage between Antonoff's vibrant musical canvas that features psychedelic guitars and lush strings in addition to his usual array of booming piano lines, and Del Rey's seemingly limitless vocal range is just stunning to behold. It's exactly the dreary yet hopeful record that Del Rey's entire career has been building up to and there couldn't have possibly been a better time in history to release it than 2019 when the world needed its message of holding onto hope in a world plagued by pain and suffering more than ever.
Favorite Tracks: 1.California 2.Norman Fucking Rockwell 3.Cinnamon Girl
Saturday, January 11, 2020
92nd Academy Award Nomination Predictions
In an effort to shorten awards season, the Academy Awards have been moved up from late to early February this year (the 9th to be exact). While it remains to be seen what effect this shift will have long-term, it does at least provide some more suspense around the nominations, which are being announced on Monday morning, as almost none of the other award shows have taken place yet. Here are the films and individuals I expect to be vying for Oscars this year.
Best Picture:
1917
The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Parasite
Locks: 1917, The Irishman, Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood, Parasite
Toss-ups: Joker, Jojo Rabbit, Little Women, Marriage Story
Dark horse contenders: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Bombshell, The Farewell, Ford v Ferrari, Knives Out, Rocketman, The Two Popes
Best Director:
Greta Gerwig (Little Women)
Bong Joon-Ho (Parasite)
Sam Mendes (1917)
Martin Scorsese (The Irishman)
Quentin Tarantino (Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood)
Locks: Sam Mendes, Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino
Toss-ups: Greta Gerwig, Bong Joon-Ho
Other contenders: Noah Baumbach (Marriage Story), Todd Phillips (Joker), Taika Waititi (Jojo Rabbit), Lulu Wang (The Farewell)
Best Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio (Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood)
Adam Driver (Marriage Story)
Taron Edgerton (Rocketman)
Joaquin Phoenix (Joker)
Jonathan Pryce (The Two Popes)
Locks: Leonardo DiCaprio, Adam Driver, Joaquin Phoenix
Toss-ups: Taron Edgerton, Jonathan Pryce
Other contenders: Christian Bale (Ford v Ferrari), Antonio Banderas (Pain and Glory), Roman Griffin Davis (Jojo Rabbit), Robert De Niro (The Irishman), Eddie Murphy (Dolemite is My Name), Adam Sandler (Uncut Gems)
Best Actress:
Awkwafina (The Farewell)
Scarlett Johansson (Marriage Story)
Saiorse Ronan (Little Women)
Charlize Theron (Bombshell)
Renee Zellweger (Judy)
Locks: Scarett Johansson, Saoirse Ronan, Renee Zellweger
Toss-ups: Awkwafina, Charlize Theron
Other contenders: Ana de Armas (Knives Out), Cynthia Erivo (Harriet), Lupita Ny'ongo (Us)
Best Supporting Actor:
Tom Hanks (A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood)
Anthony Hopkins (The Two Popes)
Al Pacino (The Irishman)
Joe Pesci (The Irishman)
Brad Pitt (Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood)
Locks: Tom Hanks, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Brad Pitt
Toss-ups: Anthony Hopkins
Other contenders: Wilem Dafoe (The Lighthouse), Jamie Foxx (Just Mercy), Song Kang Ho (Parasite), Sam Rockwell (Jojo Rabbit)
Best Supporting Actress:
Laura Dern (Marriage Story)
Jennifer Lopez (Hustlers)
Florence Pugh (Little Women)
Margot Robbie (Bombshell)
Zao Sushsen (The Farewell)
Locks: Laura Dern, Jennifer Lopez
Toss-ups: Florence Pugh, Margot Robbie, Zao Sushen
Other contenders: Kathy Bates (Richard Jewell), Annette Bening (The Report), Scarlett Johansson (Jojo Rabbit), Nicole Kidman (Bombshell), Margot Robbie (Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood)
Best Original Screenplay:
Booksmart
Knives Out
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Parasite
Best Adapted Screenplay:
The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Little Women
The Two Popes
Best Animated Feature:
Frozen II
I Lost My Body
Klaus
Missing Link
Toy Story 4
Best International Feature:
Atlantics
Beanpole
Les Misérables
Pain and Glory
Parasite
Best Documentary Feature:
American Factory
Apollo 11
The Cave
For Sama
Honeyland
Best Cinematography:
1917
Ford v Ferrari
Joker
The Lighthouse
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Best Editing:
1917
Ford v Ferrari
The Irishman
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Parasite
Best Score:
1917
Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Best Original Song
"A Glass of Soju" (Parasite)
"I'm Gonna Love Me Again" (Rocketman)
"Into the Unknown" (Frozen II)
"Spirit" (The Lion King)
"Stand Up" (Harriet)
Best Costume Design:
Dolemite is My Name
Downton Abbey
Little Women
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Makeup and Hairstyling:
Bombshell
Joker
Judy
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Production Design:
1917
The Irishman
Little Women
Jojo Rabbit
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Best Sound Editing:
1917
Ad Astra
Avengers: Endgame
Ford v Ferrari
Rocketman
Best Sound Mixing:
1917
Ad Astra
Ford v Ferrari
Rocketman
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Best Visual Effects:
1917
Avengers: Endgame
The Irishman
The Lion King
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Best Animated Short:
Dcera (Daughter)
Hair Love
Kitbull
The Physics of Sorrow
Sister
Best Documentary Short:
After Maria
Fire in Paradise
Learning How to Skateboard in a Warzone
Stay Close
Walk Run Cha-Cha
Best Live Action Short:
A Sister
Brotherhood
Little Hands
The Neighbors' Widow
Refugee
Best Picture:
1917
The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Parasite
Locks: 1917, The Irishman, Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood, Parasite
Toss-ups: Joker, Jojo Rabbit, Little Women, Marriage Story
Dark horse contenders: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Bombshell, The Farewell, Ford v Ferrari, Knives Out, Rocketman, The Two Popes
Best Director:
Greta Gerwig (Little Women)
Bong Joon-Ho (Parasite)
Sam Mendes (1917)
Martin Scorsese (The Irishman)
Quentin Tarantino (Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood)
Locks: Sam Mendes, Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino
Toss-ups: Greta Gerwig, Bong Joon-Ho
Other contenders: Noah Baumbach (Marriage Story), Todd Phillips (Joker), Taika Waititi (Jojo Rabbit), Lulu Wang (The Farewell)
Best Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio (Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood)
Adam Driver (Marriage Story)
Taron Edgerton (Rocketman)
Joaquin Phoenix (Joker)
Jonathan Pryce (The Two Popes)
Locks: Leonardo DiCaprio, Adam Driver, Joaquin Phoenix
Toss-ups: Taron Edgerton, Jonathan Pryce
Other contenders: Christian Bale (Ford v Ferrari), Antonio Banderas (Pain and Glory), Roman Griffin Davis (Jojo Rabbit), Robert De Niro (The Irishman), Eddie Murphy (Dolemite is My Name), Adam Sandler (Uncut Gems)
Best Actress:
Awkwafina (The Farewell)
Scarlett Johansson (Marriage Story)
Saiorse Ronan (Little Women)
Charlize Theron (Bombshell)
Renee Zellweger (Judy)
Locks: Scarett Johansson, Saoirse Ronan, Renee Zellweger
Toss-ups: Awkwafina, Charlize Theron
Other contenders: Ana de Armas (Knives Out), Cynthia Erivo (Harriet), Lupita Ny'ongo (Us)
Best Supporting Actor:
Tom Hanks (A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood)
Anthony Hopkins (The Two Popes)
Al Pacino (The Irishman)
Joe Pesci (The Irishman)
Brad Pitt (Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood)
Locks: Tom Hanks, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Brad Pitt
Toss-ups: Anthony Hopkins
Other contenders: Wilem Dafoe (The Lighthouse), Jamie Foxx (Just Mercy), Song Kang Ho (Parasite), Sam Rockwell (Jojo Rabbit)
Best Supporting Actress:
Laura Dern (Marriage Story)
Jennifer Lopez (Hustlers)
Florence Pugh (Little Women)
Margot Robbie (Bombshell)
Zao Sushsen (The Farewell)
Locks: Laura Dern, Jennifer Lopez
Toss-ups: Florence Pugh, Margot Robbie, Zao Sushen
Other contenders: Kathy Bates (Richard Jewell), Annette Bening (The Report), Scarlett Johansson (Jojo Rabbit), Nicole Kidman (Bombshell), Margot Robbie (Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood)
Best Original Screenplay:
Booksmart
Knives Out
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Parasite
Best Adapted Screenplay:
The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Little Women
The Two Popes
Best Animated Feature:
Frozen II
I Lost My Body
Klaus
Missing Link
Toy Story 4
Best International Feature:
Atlantics
Beanpole
Les Misérables
Pain and Glory
Parasite
Best Documentary Feature:
American Factory
Apollo 11
The Cave
For Sama
Honeyland
Best Cinematography:
1917
Ford v Ferrari
Joker
The Lighthouse
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Best Editing:
1917
Ford v Ferrari
The Irishman
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Parasite
Best Score:
1917
Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Best Original Song
"A Glass of Soju" (Parasite)
"I'm Gonna Love Me Again" (Rocketman)
"Into the Unknown" (Frozen II)
"Spirit" (The Lion King)
"Stand Up" (Harriet)
Best Costume Design:
Dolemite is My Name
Downton Abbey
Little Women
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Makeup and Hairstyling:
Bombshell
Joker
Judy
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Production Design:
1917
The Irishman
Little Women
Jojo Rabbit
Once Upon a Time in.. Hollywood
Best Sound Editing:
1917
Ad Astra
Avengers: Endgame
Ford v Ferrari
Rocketman
Best Sound Mixing:
1917
Ad Astra
Ford v Ferrari
Rocketman
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Best Visual Effects:
1917
Avengers: Endgame
The Irishman
The Lion King
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Best Animated Short:
Dcera (Daughter)
Hair Love
Kitbull
The Physics of Sorrow
Sister
Best Documentary Short:
After Maria
Fire in Paradise
Learning How to Skateboard in a Warzone
Stay Close
Walk Run Cha-Cha
Best Live Action Short:
A Sister
Brotherhood
Little Hands
The Neighbors' Widow
Refugee
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