2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 17

()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (13-2) Week 17 opponent: New Orleans Saints 

2.(2) Buffalo Bills (12-3) Week 17 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals 

3.(3) Cincinnati Bengals (11-4) Week 17 opponent: Buffalo Bills

4.(4) Kansas City Chiefs (11-4) Week 17 opponent: Denver Broncos

5.(5) San Francisco 49ers (11-4) Week 17 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders 

6.(6) Dallas Cowboys (11-4) Week 17 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

7.(7) Minnesota Vikings (12-3) Week 17 opponent: Green Bay Packers 

8.(8) Baltimore Ravens (10-5) Week 17 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers 

9.(10) Los Angeles Chargers (9-6) Week 17 opponent: Los Angeles Rams 

10.(11) New York Giants (8-6-1) Week 17 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

11.(9) Miami Dolphins (8-7) Week 17 opponent: New England Patriots 

12.(17) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Houston Texans 

13.(12) Detroit Lions (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Chicago Bears

14.(14) Washington Commanders (7-7-1) Week 17 opponent: Cleveland Browns 

15.(21) Green Bay Packers (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

16.(13) New York Jets (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

17.(15) Seattle Seahawks (7-8) Week 17 opponent: New York Jets 

18.(19) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Carolina Panthers

19.(18) New England Patriots (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Miami Dolphins

20.(16) Tennessee Titans (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

21.(23) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-8) Week 17 opponent: Baltimore Ravens 

22.(24) Carolina Panthers (6-9) Week 17 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

23.(25) New Orleans Saints (6-9) Week 17 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles 

24.(22) Cleveland Browns (6-9) Week 17 opponent: Washington Commanders

25.(20) Las Vegas Raiders (6-9) Week 17 opponent: San Fransisco 49ers

26.(28) Los Angeles Rams (5-10) Week 17 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers 

27.(26) Atlanta Falcons (5-10) Week 17 opponent: Arizona Cardinals 

28.(30) Arizona Cardinals (4-11) Week 17 opponent: Atlanta Falcons 

29.(27) Denver Broncos (4-11) Week 17 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

30.(29) Indianapolis Colts (4-10-1) Week 17 opponent: New York Giants 

31.(31) Chicago Bears (3-12) Week 17 opponent: Detroit Lions 

32.(32) Houston Texans (2-12-1) Week 17 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

Week 16 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Dak Prescott (Cowboys)

After starting off the game with a horribly misjudged floater of a throw that defensive end Josh Sweat promptly picked off and returned for a score, Prescott was a force to be reckoned with against the Eagles. Dak stayed cool under pressure and made big play after big play, throwing for 347 YDS and 3 TD's as well as rushing for 41 scoreless YDS as he guided the Cowboys to a huge divisional win in what very could've been the best game of the 2022 regular season so far. Prescott will look to put together another gem versus the Titans bottom 3 pass D on Thursday night.

Honorable Mentions: Jared Goff (Lions), Josh Allen (Bills), Kirk Cousins (Vikings)

LVP: Justin Herbert (Chargers)

If you were relying on Herbert to win you a fantasy title over the past few weeks, you more than likely came up empty. Herbert put together his 3rd straight infuriating performance where he played fine in reality but put together an ugly statline (255 YDS, 0 TD, INT, FUM Lost) that led to single digit fantasy points. Between the rib injury that slowed him down from late September through mid-November and the albatross that is Joe Lombardi's playcalling, Herbert has provided pretty poor value with his top 55 ADP and these multiple extended runs of poor production in the same season should knock him down about 5-15 spots on draft boards in 2023.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Tom Brady (Buccaneers), Justin Fields (Bears), Derek Carr (Raiders)

Running Back

MVP: Cam Akers (Rams)

It's only fitting for the bizarre, unlucky operation that is the 2022 Rams that the guy that got exiled from the team for roughly 2 months over a trade request when they were still in the playoff mix earlier this year has become the offensive focal point when they're playing out the string. Following his 1st 100-YD performance of the season, Akers put forth an even better effort against-running wild against the Broncs for 118 YDS and 3 TD's on 23 carries and adding 2 receptions for 29 YDS in a shocking 51-14 blowout victory for the ailing Rams on Christmas Day. Unless Baker Mayfield turns the ball over multiple times, Akers should have no trouble being productive again against the Chargers civ of a run defense in Week 17. 

Honorable Mentions: Saquon Barkley (Giants), D'Onta Foreman (Panthers), Austin Ekeler (Chargers)

LVP: Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots)

No one in the NFL will be more excited to see the calendar flip to January than Stevenson. His nightmare December was capped off by being completed bottled up by the Bengals resurgent defense (33 scrimmage YDS on 15 touches) and losing a fumble in the redzone when the Patriots were only a few yards away from scoring the TD that would've earned them a highly improbable comeback victory against one of the league's best teams. Stevenson and his fantasy owners will hope that his cold streak finally comes to an end against the Dolphins average defense on Sunday afternoon.

Dishonorable Mentions: Aaron Jones (Packers), Josh Jacobs (Raiders), D'Andre Swift (Lions)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys))

The biggest beneficiary of Prescott's huge passing performance was one Cedarian DeLeon Lamb. No single player or coverage strategy the Eagles deployed could prevent from Lamb getting open consistently and that allowed him to erupt for 10 REC, 120 YDS and 2 TD's. Like Dak, Lamb will hope to have another big day this week in a very favorable matchup against the Titans.

Honorable Mentions: DeVonta Smith (Eagles), Justin Jefferson (Vikings), Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

LVP: Davante Adams (Raiders)

Frigid, snowy conditions, surprisingly strong play from the Steelers corners (Levi Wallace, Cameron Sutton, Arthur Maulet) and a painfully awful performance from Derek Carr caused Adams to have yet another extremely quiet game (2 REC/15) as the Football Gods made the Raiders pay for their preposterous lucky win over the Patriots the prior week with an ugly late game choke job against a young, not particularly good Steelers team. Considering the strong likelihood of negative gamescript emerging and how strong their run defense is, Adams has surprisingly decent odds of having a bounceback game against the 49ers on Sunday.

Dishonorable Mentions: Stefon Diggs (Bills), Mike Evans (Buccaneers), DeAndre Hopkins (Cardinals)

Tight End

MVP: T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

It was death by a thousand checkdowns and redzone targets for the Giants defense last Saturday as Hockenson hauled in a season-high 13 catches for 109 YDS and 2 TD's in yet another heart attack win for the miraculously 12-3 Vikings. Hockenson has been a much more consistent player since he joined the Vikings at the trade deadline and even if he flops during this week's game against the Packers, he should have no issue finishing the year as a top 5 fantasy TE.

Honorable Mentions: George Kittle (49ers), Tyler Higbee (Rams), Evan Engram (Jaguars)

LVP: Gerald Everett (Chargers)

Everett copied Pat Friermuth's performance from Week 15 as he failed to even draw a target on a night where the Colts barrage of turnovers constantly handed the Chargers short field-which meant a heavy dose of running the ball with both Austin Ekeler and Joshua Kelley and throwing to Keenan Allen. The return of both Allen and Mike Williams has kneecapped Everett's production in recent weeks and starting him against the Rams in Week 17 would only be wise if you're a firm believer in the power of the revenge game narrative.

Dishonorable Mentions: David Njoku (Browns), Cole Kmet (Bears), Mark Andrews (Ravens)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Rams

The Broncos offense got absolutely cooked by the Rams defense as Russell Wilson and Brett Rypien combined to throw 4 picks (1 of which was returned for a TD) and take 6 sacks in a demoralizing 51-14 loss that led to embattled 1st year HC Nathaniel Hackett getting fired 2 games early. The Rams D/ST should be an alright streaming option this week against a Chargers offense that gives up multiple sacks per week and has turned the ball over 2 times in 2 straight games

LVP: Broncos

After almost 4 straight months of resistance, the Broncos D has finally joined the offense in mastering the arts of implosion and questionable effort. The whopping 4 turnovers and early double digit deficit largely brought on by said turnovers made the Broncos D throw in the towel pretty much right away and they went onto allow a whopping 45 points without registering a single sack or takeaway against the Rams Baker Mayfield-led offense. Unless a return to divisional play and the ousting of Hackett provides an unexpected spark, this group should be in line for another huge flop against the Chiefs in Week 17.

Dishonorable Mentions: Browns, Titans, Jets 

Christian Bale Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Christian Bale-whose latest project "The Pale Blue Eye" is in select theaters now and begins streaming on Netflix on January 6th.  

Christian Bale's Filmography Ranked:

24.Exodus: Gods and Kings (D-)

23.Reign of Fire (C-)

22.Pocahantas (C-)

21.Harsh Times (C+)

20.Public Enemies (C+)

19.Amsterdam (B-)

18.Terminator Salvation (B)

17.Shaft (B)

16.Thor: Love and Thunder (B)

15.The Machinist (B)

14.Out of the Furnace (B)

13.Equilibrium (B)

12.Hostiles (B)

11.The Big Short (B+)

10.The Prestige (B+)

9.Ford v. Ferrari (B+)

8.Vice (A-)

7.The Dark Knight (A-)

6.The Dark Knight Rises (A-)

5.3:10 to Yuma (A)

4.American Hustle (A)

3.The Fighter (A)

2.Batman Begins (A)

1.American Psycho (A)

Top Dog: American Psycho (2000)

In my mind, no conversation about the funniest movies ever made is complete without a mention of American Psycho. Between its spot-on commentary about the hollow, superficial lives successful people often eagerly choose to lead, basically non-stop stream of quotable dialogue and eerily chaotic yet self-knowingly goofy lead performance for the ages from Bale, American Psycho is able to mine non-stop belly laughs out of pitch-black material and produce a level of sincerely great comedy moments that easily exceeds about 99% of the genre's more traditional entries.  

Bottom Feeder: Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)

Although Ridley Scott maintains a reputation of being a predictably unpredictable filmmakers in terms of quality and the kinds of projects he tackles, the negative results of Exodus: Gods and Kings are still a complete shock. Despite collaborating with an all-star cast (Bale, Joel Edgerton, Aaron Paul, John Turturro, Sigourney Weaver, Ben Kingsley, Ben Mendelsohn, Hiam Abbass, Golshifteh Farahani, Ewan Bremner) and decorated veteran screenwriter in Steven Zaillian (Schindler's List, American Gangster), Scott's epic inspired by the Bible's Book of Exodus is a brutally dull, thinly written story of heroism and betrayal that is made particularly unbearable by its unjustified 142-minute runtime. 

Most Underrated: 3:10 to Yuma (2007)

3:10 to Yuma is a tremendous, bizarrely slept-on Western from James Mangold (Ford v. Ferrari, Logan) with some great shootouts, ace performances from an excellent ensemble cast (Bale, Russell Crowe, Ben Foster, Peter Fonda, Dallas Roberts, Alan Tudyk, Gretchen Mol, Vinessa Shaw, Kevin Durand, a then-teenage Logan Lerman) and an engaging story about the steep price humans have to pay when they succumb to their greed-driven impulses. 

Most Overrated: The Dark Knight (2008)

This is a take that I've been getting killed for IRL since about 3:00 AM EST on July 18th, 2008 when I came out of the midnight screening with about 8 of my friends and declared that the movie really wasn't that great and the previous summer's Transformers was a way better movie. While I'll decline comment on whether I still believe Transformers is better than it, I remain steadfast in my belief that The Dark Knight is overpraised. Sure, it's a very entertaining crime saga/superhero flick and one of Christopher Nolan's better movies, but I don't believe anything in it outside of Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker is truly transcendent. Perhaps a long overdue rewatch will make me finally see the light. 

Quick Movie Reviews: Empire of Light, Nanny, The Whale

Empire of Light: Sam Mendes has been making movies at a high level for 25 years and it took until his 9th film for him to make something where he feels completely lost behind the camera. While fine performances from Olivia Colman and Micheal Ward and postcard-perfect views of the British seaside town of Thanet captured by the great cinematographer Rodger Deakins provide him with some solid building blocks, Mendes-directing from a screenplay that was solely penned by himself for the 1st time-has absolutely no idea how to turn a story that involves mental illness, racism, abuse of power in the workplace, the power of movies (particularly in the communal setting of a theater) and outsiders developing an unlikely attraction to each other into something cohesive. The implementation of these themes/plot points outside of the budding romance between Colman and Ward's characters doesn't really make it past the rough thesis stage and it leads to a directionless story full of awkward transitions and abandoned story threads that aimlessly floats to the finish line without saying or emoting much of anything. It honestly feels like something that Mendes conceived during the COVID lockdown and rushed to shoot before he can finetune it. Considering how muted the response and box office earnings have been for Empire of Light, his next project seems very likely to be in the planning stage for much longer before the cameras roll. 

Grade: C

Nanny: It's easy to see why Nikyatu Jusu has signed on to make her next 2 films with major studios after Nanny took home the Grand Jury Prize at this year's Sundance Film Festival. With her feature debut, Jusu crafted a confident, intelligent psychological horror-tinged character study centered around an undocumented Senegalese immigrant (Anna Diop) living in New York City who sacrifices raising her own child (Olamide Candide-Johnson) in order to make a living by being a full-time nanny for the child (Rose Decker) of a wealthy couple (Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Spector). It's a powerful exploration of the guilt a mother feels in leaving her child behind with the hopes of improving their life and how a child begins to view their nanny as a parent to fill the void left by the absence of their own parents (and vice versa)-a duality that Diop captures with rich detail and fierce conviction in her incredible performance-as well as how their employers take advantage of their status as undocumented immigrants when it comes to pay, hours and general treatment. The secondary aspects of the story-including the use of African folk tales that drive Nanny's horror elements and the romantic relationship Diop's character builds with a doorman (Sinqua Wells) who is also a single parent-are too underwritten to have the impact that Jusu intends, but the core of the narrative is such a fascinating, unique and haunting commentary on a real world problem that's able to minimize the fact that her storytelling reach hasn't quite matched her grasp yet.

Grade: B

The Whale: While Brendan Fraser, Hong Chau and Sadie Sink deserves ample kudos for giving strong performances that are coming from a place of sincerity, those efforts are moot in a movie that is more full of shit than the Chicago River when the Dave Matthews Band is in town. The top-billed trio along with the other key supporting players Samantha Morton and Ty Simpkins are all acting in service of one thing: Heavy-handed melodrama. It lingers over every scene like a predator stalking its prey and whenever something that resembles real emotional expression enters the fold, it strikes, kills it and quickly restores the natural order of contrived, bad faith-driven prestige soap opera that takes glee in pummeling the viewer into tears. Darren Aronofsky is among the last directors working in Hollywood today that I would've expected such a perverse display of forced sadness, misery and overwhelming selfishness masquerading as open-hearted honesty from, which makes the disappointment of this film that much greater.  

Grade: C-

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 16

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (13-1) Week 16 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

2.(2) Buffalo Bills (11-3) Week 16 opponent: Chicago Bears

3.(5) Cincinnati Bengals (10-4) Week 16 opponent: New England Patriots 

4.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (10-4) Week 16 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

5.(6) San Francisco 49ers (10-4) Week 16 opponent: Washington Commanders 

6.(4) Dallas Cowboys (10-4) Week 16 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles 

7.(7) Minnesota Vikings (11-3) Week 16 opponent: New York Giants

8.(8) Baltimore Ravens (9-5) Week 16 opponent: Atlanta Falcons 

9.(9) Miami Dolphins (8-6) Week 16 opponent: Green Bay Packers 

10.(10) Los Angeles Chargers (8-6) Week 16 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

11.(11) New York Giants (8-5-1) Week 16 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

12.(16) Detroit Lions (7-7) Week 16 opponent: Carolina Panthers

13.(12) New York Jets (7-7) Week 16 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

14.(13) Washington Commanders (7-6-1) Week 16 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

15.(14) Seattle Seahawks (7-7) Week 16 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

16.(15) Tennessee Titans (7-7) Week 16 opponent: Houston Texans

17.(19) Jacksonville Jaguars (6-8) Week 16 opponent: New York Jets

18.(17) New England Patriots (7-7) Week 16 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals 

19.(18) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

20.(21) Las Vegas Raiders (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers 

21.(22) Green Bay Packers (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Miami Dolphins 

22.(24) Cleveland Browns (6-8) Week 16 opponent: New Orleans Saints

23.(26) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-8) Week 16 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

24.(20) Carolina Panthers (5-9) Week 16 opponent: Detroit Lions

25.(27) New Orleans Saints (5-9) Week 16 opponent: Cleveland Browns 

26.(23) Atlanta Falcons (5-9) Week 16 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

27.(30) Denver Broncos (4-10) Week 16 opponent: Los Angeles Rams 

28.(28) Los Angeles Rams (4-10) Week 16 opponent: Denver Broncos

29.(25) Indianapolis Colts (4-9-1) Week 16 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers 

30.(29) Arizona Cardinals (4-10) Week 16 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

31.(31) Chicago Bears (3-11) Week 16 opponent: Buffalo Bills  

32.(32) Houston Texans (1-12-1) Week 16 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

Week 15 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

 Quarterback

MVP: Josh Allen (Bills) 

Outside of some poor ball security that led to a strip sack in the 3rd quarter, Allen was tremendous against the Dolphins on Saturday night-picking up 304 YDS and 4 TD's through the air and 77 YDS on the ground in a key divisional win for the Bills. As long as the freezing temperatures/snow remnants at Solider Field don't affect his ability to throw downfield, Allen owners will likely be treated to another big game this week as the Bills get the Christmas gift of playing the putrid, tanking Bears.

Honorable Mentions: Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Kirk Cousins (Vikings), Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

LVP: Justin Herbert (Chargers)

A couple of bad throws that turned into picks, reliably terrible play from his offensive line and some good old fashioned bad luck caused Herbert to put up a dud (313 YDS/0 TD's/2 INT) in a terrific matchup against the Titans bottom 3 pass defense. Herbert will get a chance to redeem himself against a reeling Colts group on Monday night.

Dishonorable Mentions: Aaron Rodgers (Packers), Tom Brady (Buccaneers), Jared Goff (Lions)

Running Back

MVP: Jerick McKinnon (Chiefs)

For the 2nd straight week, Jerick McKinnon was the most productive player on the Chiefs offense outside of Patrick Mahomes. The 1B back in the Chiefs backfield committee stepped up in a major way in a shockingly tight contest with the Texans-exploding for 132 scrimmage YDS on 18 touches (10 carries, 8 receptions) and making 2 trips to the endzone including the game-winner in overtime. Whis his erratic volume makes him a riskier play than his backfield running mate Isaiah Pacheco, McKinnon will be tough to sit for the final 2 weeks of the fantasy season.   

Honorable Mentions: Dalvin Cook (Vikings), Derrick Henry (Titans), Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots)

LVP: Miles Sanders (Eagles)

Fantasy managers were greeted with a very unpleasant surprise on Sunday as Sanders received 0 touches in the 1st half against the Bears. Things didn't improve much in the second half when he actually got the ball. His 11 CAR/42 YDS, 1 REC/-13 YDS, FUM LOST day is one of the uglier stat lines you'll ever see in fantasy football. If you have the luxury of sitting Sanders in Week 16, don't hesitate to do it.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Rachaad White (Buccaneers), Jamaal Williams (Lions), D'onta Foreman (Panthers)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

K.J. Osborn-who is barely owned in fantasy at the moment-was actually the leading receiver for the  Vikings in Week 15, but mounting that crazy 33-point comeback in the 2nd half/OT against the Colts forced Cousins to throw so much that Jefferson was able to have himself a great day as well. The NFL's current leading receiver added to his hold on the pole position with 123 YDS on 12 catches. He also secured his 7th TD catch of the season. Jefferson gets a below average matchup with the Giants next.  

Honorable Mentions: A.J. Brown (Eagles), Zay Jones (Jaguars), Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

LVP: Davante Adams (Raiders)

The surreal, boneheaded final play of the game will overshadow a lot of the good the Patriots did before that instantly infamous moment. Chief among those positives was how their corners led by rookie Marcus Jones were able to pretty much take Adams completely out of the game. The Raiders star was limited to just 4 catches for 28 YDS on the day, although to be fair Darren Waller took away an excellent chance to escape this doomed distinction on the final Raiders offensive drive when he prematurely stuck his hands out and redirected a ball that looked like it was headed straight into Adams' breadbasket. A date with the Steelers poor corner group in Week 16 provides Adams with a great opportunity to reverse his fortunes and end up on the other side of the fantasy impact coin.

Dishonorable Mentions: Marquise Brown (Cardinals), Allen Lazard (Packers), Brandon Aiyuk (49ers)

Tight End

MVP: George Kittle (49ers) 

Kittle was overdue for a receiving explosion, and he finally got it last Thursday night against the Seahawks. He only needed 4 receptions to pick up 93 YDS and 2 TD's, which were pivotal in helping power the 49ers to an NFC West-clinching victory. Kittle will remain a boom-or-bust TE1 for the 49ers Week 16 showdown with the Commanders.   

Honorable Mentions: Dawson Knox (Bills), Travis Kelce (Chiefs), Darren Waller (Raiders)

LVP: Pat Freiermuth (Steelers)

A week after Mitch Trubisky found Freiermuth for a TD against the Ravens, he didn't look his way at all against the Panthers. That's right: Freiermuth received 0 targets despite running the most pass route on the team outside of Diontae Johnson and George Pickens. Kenny Pickett cleared concussion protocol today and is expected to start on Saturday night versus the Raiders, so expect a busier day for Muth in that one. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Dalton Schultz (Cowboys), David Njoku (Browns), Mark Andrews (Ravens)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Patriots 

A weird week that saw a handful of defenses that basically nobody owned top the D/ST leaderboards (Giants, Jaguars, Colts, Browns, Lions) led to the Pats being the kings of the fantasy relevant groups. Kyle Dugger's pick 6 and a few sacks were the fantasy highlights for the Pats defense as they allowed 24 points in the aforementioned inexplicable clown show of a loss to the Raiders.

Honorable Mentions: Packers, Broncos, Eagles

LVP: Bills

Josh Allen's late game heroics bailed out the Bills D-who put together arguably their worst performance against the Dolphins speedy offense. While surrendering some plays to Jaylen Waddle and Tyreek Hill is to be expected, letting Raheem Mostert-who was only averaging about 55 YDS per game prior to this-run wild for 136 YDS on 17 carries (a whopping 8.0 YDS per rush) and securing 0 takeaways and only 2 sacks against their banged-up offensive line is extremely disconcerting. Any possible concerns with the Bills D viability moving forward can be sidelined for this week as they should have no problem keeping the Bears low rent offense at bay.

Dishonorable Mentions: Chiefs, Buccaneers, Vikings 

Edward Norton Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Edward Norton-whose latest project "Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery" debuts on Netflix this Friday. 

Edward Norton's Filmography Ranked:

24.Kingdom of Heaven (C-)

23.Keeping the Faith (C-)

22.Moonrise Kingdom (C-)

21.The Bourne Legacy (C)

20.Motherless Brooklyn (C)

19.Pride and Glory (C)

18.Isle of Dogs (C+)

17.Alita: Battle Angel (C+)

16.Frida (B-)

15.The French Dispatch (B-)

14.The Score (B-)

13.The Incredible Hulk (B)

12.The Grand Budapest Hotel (B)

11.The People vs. Larry Flynt (B)

10.Death to Smoochy (B)

9.Primal Fear (B+)

8.Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (B+)

7.25th Hour (B+)

6.Sausage Party (A-) 

5.Rounders (A-)

4.The Italian Job (A)

3.Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (A)

2.American History X (A+)

1.Fight Club (A+)

Top Dog: Fight Club (1999)

Discovering Fight Club as a teenager among the most formative movie watching experiences of my life and that was well before I even figured out what the hell it was really about. David Fincher marries style and substance perfectly in this darkly comedic takedown of everything from toxic masculinity to self-worth that features top-tier performances from Norton and Brad Pitt, chaotic editing that brilliantly captures its punk ethos and a staggering plot twist that only further solidifies how exceptionally sharp the writing is.   

Bottom Feeder: Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

It needs to be noted that this designation is being handed out to the theatrical cut, not the director's cut that has developed a decent-sized cult following in recent years. Whether it was the result of studio interference or just Ridley Scott rushing an edit to make a deadline, Kingdom of Heaven squanders its potential to be another one of Scott's triumphs in the historical epic space by having a story that never quite builds any meaningful momentum and making the questionable decision to cast Orlando Bloom in a rousing hero role that's he's not particularly convincing in.

Most Underrated: The Italian Job (2003)

Maybe it's nostalgia or simply a case of my intense love of action movies causing me to deeply appreciate something that the average person wouldn't get too excited about, but I sincerely believe that the remake of The Italian Job is a near-perfect blockbuster. By placing on an emphasis on simple yet effective things like telling a story that has constant forward momentum, charismatic characters being played by magnetic actors (Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Jason Statham, Norton, Yasiin Bey aka Mos Def, Seth Green, Donald Sutherland) and elaborate heist scenes and car chases, F. Gary Gray made a movie that is ridiculously fun from start to finish.

Most Overrated: Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

While I've been able to get over the bulk of my previous problems with the films of Wes Anderson in recent years (shoutout The Grand Budapest Hotel for making that breakthrough possible), Moonrise Kingdom just contains too much quirkiness for me to forgive. The kids in this movie are the most insufferably eccentric shitbags Anderson has written since the ensemble of The Royal Tenenbaums and that fucking dance scene between the two leads (Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward) will haunt me for the remainder of my days.

Most Deceptively Layered: Sausage Party (2016)

What's really delightful about Sausage Party is that the movie is simultaneously an extremely silly movie about food items swearing at, having sex with and killing each other and a pointed, intelligent satire of organized religion. Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are probably about two of the five people in Hollywood right now that would have the audacity and filmmaking savviness to successfully combine these things and it's really unbelievable that a film with this content got widely released into theaters all over the globe. The power of movies really is remarkable folks.

Cliff Curtis Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Cliff Curtis-whose latest project "Avatar: The Way of Water" arrives in theaters today. 

Cliff Curtis' Filmography Ranked:

16.The Last Airbender (D)

15.The Fountain (D)

14.Sunshine (D+)

13.10,000 BC (C)

12.Columbiana (C)

11.Push (C+)

10.The Meg (B-)

9.Fracture (B-)

8.Reminiscence (B)

7.Bringing Out the Dead (B)

6.Blow (B+)

5.Three Kings (B+)

4.Doctor Sleep (B+)

3.Hobbs & Shaw (A-)

2.Live Free or Die Hard (A-)

1.Training Day (A+)

Top Dog: Training Day (2001)

Overflowing with intensity, grit and visceral fear, Training Day is a masterfully crafted, unrelentingly nightmarish knockout of a film that possesses a well-deserved place in the annals of movie history.

Bottom Feeder: The Last Airbender (2010)

My negative feelings towards The Last Airbender don't even come close to the overwhelming disgust fans of the animated series have expressed towards it since it was released, but I still have a strong, active dislike for this movie. M. Night Shyamalan goes completely against his brand by directing with zero enthusiasm or purpose, the story doesn't make much sense and the acting from the young cast-particularly Noah Ringer and Nicola Peltz-is stiff to the point where it's fair to question if they were humans or aliens that were having a really hard time mimicking the behavior of Earth's citizens. 

Most Underrated: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

Die Hard's self-aware, quip-heavy style made it an ideal candidate to receive the over-the-top 21st century blockbuster treatment and courtesy of the spirited efforts from everybody involved with this project, Live Free or Die Hard hits every single intended target gracefully. Bruce Willis and Justin Long are a great bickering odd couple lead pairing, the action scenes are gleefully ridiculous and loaded with energy and Timothy Olyphant treads the line between genuinely maniacal and cartoonishly menacing so beautifully as primary antagonist Thomas Gabriel that it's kind of a shame that he been given more roles like this since. For my money, it's the best Die Hard sequel and it sucks that they decided to go back to the well one more time while Willis was still playing John McClane.

Most Overrated: The Fountain (2006)

Like most "failed" projects directed by beloved directors, the popular opinion towards The Fountain has greatly improved since it was met with mixed-to-negative reviews upon its release in November 2006. As of this writing at least, I'm not among the people that has come to appreciate The Fountain more with time. While its ambition is admirable, Darren Aronofsky's quest to create this epic, 1,000-year romance is foiled by the non-existent chemistry between Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz, stunningly cheesy tone and excruciatingly slow pacing that makes 96 minutes feel like 9,600. 

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 15

()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (12-1) Week 15 opponent: Chicago Bears

2.(3) Buffalo Bills (10-3) Week 15 opponent: Miami Dolphins

3.(4) Kansas City Chiefs (10-3) Week 15 opponent: Houston Texans

4.(2) Dallas Cowboys (10-3) Week 15 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

5.(6) Cincinnati Bengals (9-4) Week 15 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

6.(7) San Francisco 49ers (9-4) Week 15 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

7.(5) Minnesota Vikings (10-3) Week 15 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

8.(9) Baltimore Ravens (9-4) Week 15 opponent: Cleveland Browns 

9.(8) Miami Dolphins (8-5) Week 15 opponent: Buffalo Bills 

10.(16) Los Angeles Chargers (7-6) Week 15 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

11.(10) New York Giants (7-5-1) Week 15 opponent: Washington Commanders

12.(11) New York Jets (7-6) Week 15 opponent: Detroit Lions 

13.(14) Washington Commanders (7-5-1) Week 15 opponent: New York Giants 

14.(12) Seattle Seahawks (7-6) Week 15 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

15.(13) Tennessee Titans (7-6) Week 15 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

16.(17) Detroit Lions (6-7) Week 15 opponent: New York Jets

17.(18) New England Patriots (7-6) Week 15 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

18.(15) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-7) Week 15 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals 

19.(24) Jacksonville Jaguars (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

20.(28) Carolina Panthers (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers 

21.(19) Las Vegas Raiders (5-8) Week 15 opponent: New England Patriots

22.(22) Green Bay Packers (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Los Angeles Rams 

23.(23) Atlanta Falcons (5-8) Week 15 opponent: New Orleans Saints

24.(20) Cleveland Browns (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Baltimore Ravens 

25.(25) Indianapolis Colts (4-8-1) Week 15 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

26.(21) Pittsburgh Steelers (5-8) Week 15 opponent: Carolina Panthers

27.(27) New Orleans Saints (4-9) Week 15 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

28.(29) Los Angeles Rams (4-9) Week 15 opponent: Green Bay Packers

29.(26) Arizona Cardinals (4-9) Week 15 opponent: Denver Broncos

30.(30) Denver Broncos (3-10) Week 15 opponent: Arizona Cardinals 

31.(31) Chicago Bears (3-10) Week 15 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles 

32.(32) Houston Texans (1-11-1) Week 15 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

Week 14 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Jalen Hurts (Eagles) 

Hurts' hot streak continued for another week as he lit up the Giants overmatched, undermanned defense for 294 total YDS (217 passing, 77 rushing) and 3 TD's (2 passing, 1 rushing) on Sunday. A Week 15 showdown with the lowly Bears gives Hurts a golden opportunity to keep rolling. 

Honorable Mentions: Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars), Jared Goff (Lions), Kirk Cousins (Vikings)

LVP: Tom Brady (Buccaneers)

Brady's Northern California homecoming got spoiled in a big way by the 49ers #1 ranked defense. Constant pressure from every possible angle knocked Brady out of rhythm very early on and that led to an uncharacteristic ugly 4 quarters (253 YDS, 2 INT's, 1 garbage time TD) from TB12. While he's basically a lock to not return to the QB basement in Week 15, he'll be a risky start against a Bengals defense that has looked really good over the past few weeks. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins), Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Derek Carr (Raiders)

Running Back

MVP: Christian McCaffery (49ers)

Brock Purdy made quite the impression in his 1st career start against the Bucs, but in the fantasy realm it was all about McCaffery. He racked up 153 scrimmage YDS (119 rushing, 34 receiving) and 2 TD's on 16 touches before getting the final quarter and a half off in the unexpected blowout victory for the 49ers. CMC should have another highly productive game on Thursday against a porous Seahawks run defense that has gotten steamrolled for 150+ YDS in 3 straight games.  

Honorable Mentions: Miles Sanders (Eagles), Tony Pollard (Cowboys), James Conner (Cardinals)

LVP: Travis Etienne (Jaguars)

Part of the reason that Trevor Lawrence erupted against the Titans was due to Etienne's inability to get anything going on the ground. The 2nd-year back got repeatedly stuffed against the Titans tough front, picking up just 32 YDS on 17 carries and didn't haul in a single reception to offset his poor day on the ground. Another long day could be ahead for Etienne as the Jags have to tango with the Cowboys similarly stacked front in Week 15.

Dishonorable Mentions: Saquon Barkley (Giants), D'Andre Swift (Lions), Jammal Williams (Lions)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Jerry Jeudy (Broncos)

Anybody who toughed it out with Jeudy through yet another injury-prone, erratic season was rewarded for their patience this week. The 2020 1st round pick took full advantage of Courtland Sutton's absence and the Chiefs vulnerable secondary with a strong 8 REC/73 YD/3 TD performance, which might as well be a 20 REC/250 YDS/3 TD performance considering how anemic the Broncos passing offense has been this year. As delightful as this explosion was for Jeudy owners, he's very likely to return to his volatile WR3/FLEX status for this Sunday's game against the Cardinals-especially if Russell Wilson remains in concussion protocol.

Honorable Mentions: Justin Jefferson (Vikings), Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals), Mike Williams (Chargers)

LVP: Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

Prior to the 4th quarter, Waddle was posting a donut as the Chargers secondary surprisingly put the clamps on him and Tyreek Hill and pressured Tua into making the kinds of tight window, relatively deep throws that he historically struggles with. While his 2 catches for 31 YDS in the final frame were appreciated, it's still a massive letdown for one of the most explosive WR's in the league in a matchup that was considered to be excellent considering how banged-up the Chargers secondary-who isn't even particularly good at full strength-was. Waddle will look to return to his top 15 overall wideout status in the arctic tundra of Buffalo on Saturday night.

Dishonorable Mentions: Gabe Davis (Bills), Stefon Diggs (Bills), CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

Tight End

MVP: Evan Engram (Jaguars)

The only thing more shocking than Engram being the back-to-back TE MVP is the performance against the Titans that earned him that honor. Trevor Lawrence decided to feed Engram all game long for some reason and he was able to turn that smorgasbord of targets (15) into 11 REC/162 YDS/2 TD's. Betting on Engram to do this again on Sunday against the Cowboys would be ill-advised, but it's impossible to sit him after such a preposterous display of dominance.

Honorable Mentions: David Njoku (Browns), Dawson Knox (Bills), Dalton Schultz (Cowboys)

LVP: Mark Andrews (Ravens)

While it's necessary to lower the expectations for Andrews without Lamar Jackson under center, him only catching 2-of-6 targets for 17 YDS against the Steelers is still a shocking letdown regardless of circumstances. Even with the high likelihood of Jackson sitting once again in Week 15, he's a must-start in a plus matchup against the Browns.

Dishonorable Mentions: Tyler Higbee (Rams), George Kittle (49ers), Gerald Everett (Chargers)

Defense/Special Teams:

MVP: Patriots

When the Patriots offense can't get things going in a winnable game against a poor opponent, leave it to their defense to bail them out. Bill Belichick's pride and joy were able to tee off on old school pocket passer Colt McCoy-who replaced Kyler Murray on the 4th play from scrimmage after he suffered what is believed to be a torn ACL- and took advantage of an uncharacteristically stupid play by DeAndre Hopkins-as they registered 6 sacks, an INT and a FUM REC for a TD on the aforementioned dumb play by Hopkins to secure an easy 27-13 road victory. They'll likely need a repeat performance from the defense to secure another pivotal road win against the Raiders this week.   

Honorable Mentions: Chiefs, Bills, Ravens

LVP: Titans

Anybody who opted to stream the Titans in a seemingly good matchup against the Jaguars were reminded of the dangers of picking up this group. Their inconsistent pass rush and flat-out awful secondary makes them susceptible to having miserable outings like the one they had on Sunday in Jacksonville (36 points allowed, 0 sacks or takeaways) as Trevor Lawrence and co. eviscerated them through the air with absolutely zero resistance. Resist the urge to play them this week in another decent matchup against the Chargers by any means necessary. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Buccaneers, Seahawks, Cowboys

Programming Update

It's officially that time of year where I start to really home in on checking out, catching up with and revisiting as many movies and albums as possible before I finalize my 2022 year-end lists. This also means that from next week until the 2nd week of January when all of said lists are published, I'll be posting less here. What you can expect in these parts during this time is a few installments of "Ranked", the weekly NFL Power Rankings/Fantasy Football Winners and Losers, a look at what movies and records I'm looking forward to most in the opening months of 2023 and perhaps a couple of more things if time permits. Thank you to everyone who read my stuff this year. I hope you have a great, healthy holiday season.

Chris Maitland

Brendan Fraser Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Brendan Fraser-whose latest project "The Whale" releases in NYC/LA theaters tonight and expands nationwide on December 21st.

Brendan Fraser's Filmography Ranked:

14.The Poison Rose (D-)

13.Bedazzled (C-)

12.Extraordinary Measures (C-) 

11.George of the Jungle (C-) 

10.Journey to the Center of the Earth (C)

9.Airheads (C)

8.Looney Tunes: Back in Action (C+)

7.Crash (C+)

6.No Sudden Move (B-)

5.The Mummy Returns (B-)

4.G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (B-)

3.Blast from the Past (B-)

2.School Ties (B)

1.The Mummy (B)

Top Dog: The Mummy (1999)

Calling The Mummy a classic might be overkill, but it has held up well in the 23 years since it was released. Its mixture of Indiana Jones-esque adventure and legitimately creepy horror elements makes for a lot of fun scenes, the wide-eyed giddiness Stephen Sommers has behind the camera provides this film with a relentlessly infectious energy, and Fraser and Rachel Weisz are a terrific action star/love interest duo that deserves more recognition for just how well-matched they are. 

Bottom Feeder: The Poison Rose (2019)

Watching something like The Poison Rose shines a light on just how sizable the quality disparity between direct-to-VOD projects and legitimate theatrical or streaming movies can be. While its content and narrative style definitely resembles that of a classic film noir, the execution of everything except the performance of Morgan Freeman on The Poison Rose is so distractingly amateurish that it's difficult to believe that it was made by a writer/director with a lengthy Hollywood resume (George Gallo) and stars a cast of recognizable veteran actors (John Travolta, Famke Janssen, Robert Patrick, Kat Graham and Peter Stromare all appear alongside Freeman and Fraser). My heart goes out to any person over the age of 50 who rented this back in 2019 thinking they were going to see some kind of cool old school mystery thriller and instead got treated to 98 minutes of shaky Southern accents, cheap wigs and a meandering story that features nothing that even resembles intrigue or wit.  

Most Underrated: School Ties (1992)

The alarming recent rise in antisemitism really elevated the resonance and urgency of School Ties when I watched it back in late October. This straightforward yet effective 50's-set story centered around a Jewish high school senior (Fraser) who hides his religion from his classmates/football teammates at a Catholic boarding school does a great job of highlighting how harrowing it is to live with a secret that could drastically change how others feel about you if its revealed and the powerful performances from both and Matt Damon as the school's biggest bully show off precisely why they're still working at the highest levels of the industry 30 years later.   

Most Overrated: No Sudden Move (2021)

No Sudden Move is an instance where an ambitious idea not working out as planned did significant damage to the final product. By greatly expanding its narrative scope and collection of characters in the back half of the film, Steven Soderbergh quickly turns an engaging, slickly crafted heist thriller into an unfocused, convoluted drama that ends on an abrupt and infuriatingly anti-climactic note.  

2022 NFL Power Rankings: Week 14

 ()=previous ranking

1.(2) Philadelphia Eagles (11-1) Week 14 opponent: New York Giants

2.(3) Dallas Cowboys (9-3) Week 14 opponent: Houston Texans

3.(4) Buffalo Bills (9-3) Week 14 opponent: New York Jets

4.(1) Kansas City Chiefs (9-3) Week 14 opponent: Denver Broncos

5.(5) Minnesota Vikings (10-2) Week 14 opponent: Detroit Lions

6.(8) Cincinnati Bengals (8-4) Week 14 opponent: Cleveland Browns 

7.(7) San Francisco 49ers (8-4) Week 14 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

8.(6) Miami Dolphins (8-4) Week 14 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

9.(9) Balitmore Ravens (8-4) Week 14 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers 

10.(10) New York Giants (7-4-1) Week 14 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

11.(12) New York Jets (7-5) Week 14 opponent: Buffalo Bills

12.(13) Seattle Seahawks (7-5) Week 14 opponent: Carolina Panthers

13.(11) Tennessee Titans (7-5) Week 14 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

14.(14) Washington Commanders (7-5-1) Week 14 opponent: Bye 

15.(16) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-6) Week 14 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

16.(15) Los Angeles Chargers (6-6) Week 14 opponent: Miami Dolphins 

17.(19) Detroit Lions (5-7) Week 14 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

18.(17) New England Patriots (6-6) Week 14 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

19.(23) Las Vegas Raiders (5-7) Week 14 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

20.(20) Cleveland Browns (5-7) Week 14 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

21.(24) Pittsburgh Steelers (5-7) Week 14 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

22.(22) Green Bay Packers (5-8) Week 14 opponent: Bye

23.(18) Atlanta Falcons (5-8) Week 14 opponent: Bye

24.(21) Jacksonville Jaguars (4-8) Week 14 opponent: Tennessee Titans

25.(25) Indianapolis Colts (4-8-1) Week 14 opponent: Bye

26.(26) Arizona Cardinals (4-8) Week 14 opponent: New England Patriots 

27.(27) New Orleans Saints (4-9) Week 14 opponent: Bye 

28.(28) Carolina Panthers (4-8) Week 14 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

29.(29) Los Angeles Rams (3-9) Week 14 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

30.(30) Denver Broncos (3-9) Week 14 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

31.(31) Chicago Bears (3-10) Week 14 opponent: Bye 

32.(32) Houston Texans (1-10-1) Week 14 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

Week 13 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2022 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

A week after Hurts showed his elite rushing ability, he reminded everybody that he can be just as deadly with his arm. The MVP candidate shredded the Titans porous secondary for 380 YDS and 3 TD's and picked up another 12 YDS and a TD in a huge blowout win for the now 11-1 Eagles. Hurts will look to stretch this hot streak to 3 games when he goes up against the Giants on Sunday.

Honorable Mentions: Joe Burrow (Bengals), Geno Smith (Seahawks), Justin Fields (Bears)

LVP: Kirk Cousins (Vikings)

The Vikings may have pulled out the win in a fun shootout with the Jets on Sunday, but Cousins didn't play a big role in the decision as he had one of his quietest games of the year (173 YDS/1 TD/9 Rushing YDS) against one of the league's best pass defenses/rushes. Cousins has an elite bounceback opportunity in Week 14 when he squares off against a Lions defense that he threw for 260 YDS and 2 TD's against back in Week 3.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars), Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins), Aaron Rodgers (Packers)

Running Back

MVP: Christian McCaffery (49ers)

With Jimmy Garoppolo sustaining a broken foot early in the 1st quarter, the Brock Purdy-led 49ers offense fed McCaffery and he took full advantage of the heavy workload-registering 146 scrimmage YDS and a TD catch on 25 touches (17 carries, 8 receptions). If McCaffery can handle the physical toll of receiving such a large workload every week, this final stretch of the 2022 season could look a lot like his unreal 2018/19 campaigns in Carolina.

Honorable Mentions: Tony Pollard (Cowboys), D'Andre Swift (Lions), AJ Dillon (Packers)

LVP: Derrick Henry (Titans)

A combination of horrible game script and shocking ineffectiveness against a notably terrible Eagles run defense led Henry to the top of the fantasy RB dud list. He mustered just 38 YDS on 13 total touches in a 2nd consecutive demoralizing loss for the AFC South-leading Titans. If Henry flops again against the Jaguars in Week 14, the narrative about the wear and tear of the comically heavy workload he's received dating all the way back to Alabama finally catching up with him will really grow legs.

Dishonorable Mentions: Alvin Kamara (Saints), Travis Etienne (Jaguars), Raheem Mostert (Dolphins)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Davante Adams (Raiders)

The Raiders have started to turn things around over the past few weeks and Adams' return to the level of consistent dominance he showed during his time with the Packers is among the biggest reasons why. Brandon Staley could only watch in horror as his banged-up, below average secondary got repeatedly carved up by Adams-who finished the day with an absurd 177 YDS and 2 TD's on 8 catches. A downtrodden Rams secondary coming off an awful showing versus the Seahawks will be the next team tasked with trying to slow down a fully locked-in Adams.

Honorable Mentions: Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions), A.J. Brown (Eagles), Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

LVP: Michael Pittman Jr. (Colts)

Even before things spiraled completely out of control for the Colts during that disastrous 4th quarter in which they allowed 33 points, Pittman Jr. was having a miserable evening against the Cowboys. The Colts top wideout was limited to 4 targets and ended up catching just 2 passes for 16 YDS in a game where every Colts receiver not named Alec Pierce was basically invisible to Matt Ryan. Heading into the Colts long-awaited bye week, Pittman Jr. has been underwhelming (76 REC/755 YDS/2 TD's) for a guy with a top 30-35 ADP and considering how bad the Colts offense has looked for most of the year, it would be naive to expect his final 3 games of the fantasy season to be overly noteworthy.

Dishonorable Mentions: Adam Thielen (Vikings), Jakobi Meyers (Patriots), George Pickens (Steelers)

Tight End

MVP: Evan Engram (Jaguars)

For the 2nd time this season, Trevor Lawrence flopped in the game after the NFL fan and media community had declared that the #1 pick in the 2021 draft had finally arrived as an elite quarterback. Fortunately for those bold enough to start Engram, the 6th-year tight end was on the receiving end of Lawrence's lone TD pass against the Lions and that addition to his otherwise average statline (5 REC/30 YDS) was enough to make him king of the TE's in a particularly mediocre week for the position.  

Honorable Mentions: Gerald Everett (Chargers), Cole Kmet (Bears), Pat Freiermuth (Steelers)

LVP: Dawson Knox (Bills) 

So much for Knox taking advantage of the Patriots recent struggles against tight ends... It was hard to tell if Knox was even on the field for most of the game as the Bills leaned heavily on the run and Stefon Diggs, and that belief is cemented by the lone target he received from Josh Allen and the big fat donut he put up on the stat sheet. Knox should be benched for the Bills crucial Week 14 contest with the Jets.

Dishonorable Mentions: George Kittle (49ers), Tyler Higbee (Rams), Dalton Schultz (Cowboys)

Defense/Special Teams:

MVP: Browns

Defense and special teams were almost exclusively the reason the Browns crushed the Texans by a score of 30-14 on Sunday. A Donovan Peoples-Jones punt return and Denzel Ward fumble recovery were the sole TD's the Browns scored on Sunday and the 3 additional takeaways (2 INT's, FUM REC) were pivotal in setting up the Cade York field goals that accounted for the rest of their scoring on a day where Deshaun Watson looked exactly like a man who hadn't played football in nearly 2 years after he was exposed as a serial sexual predator. Considering how terrible the Bengals have played against them recently, it might be worth keeping them around for Week 14. 

Honorable Mentions: Cowboys, 49ers, Eagles

LVP: Chiefs

While they fortunately were able to avoid finishing with negative points thanks to their ability to hold them to field goals late in the game, the Chiefs defense had a very nondescript, if not uninspiring performance in their 27-24 loss to the Bengals. Outside of a lone sack of Joe Burrow by rookie George Karlaftis, they made zero impact plays and had a hard time containing the pass and rush outside of the redzone all game long. This up-and-down group should fare far better this week against the lifeless Broncos offense. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Jets, Buccaneers, Patriots

Movie Review: Violent Night

While horror genre enthusiasts regularly get stuff like Krampus, Santa's Slay and all 62 versions of Black Christmas to scratch their itches for twisted Christmas fare, action movie fans haven't had the same good fortune. Thanks to the good people at Universal Pictures, that cruel dry spell has finally come to an end with Violent Night.

This film from director Tommy Wirkola (What Happened to Monday?, both Dead Snow films) and writers Pat Casey and Josh Miller (the Sonic the Hedgehog film franchise) poses a classic question: What if Santa Claus (David Harbour) came down the chimney while mercenaries (led by John Leguizamo) were trying to rob $300 million in cash from home vault of a billionaire oil executive (Beverly D'Angelo)? Well, since the billionaire's granddaughter (Leah Brady) is on the nice list, Santa decides to stick around, turn some decorations into makeshift weapons and make a crack at saving the day.

Violent Night is one of those movies where the plot synopsis and trailers let you know pretty much exactly what you're getting into. Wirkola, Casey and Miller have effectively placed a darkly comedic, over-the-top R-rated action flick smack dab at the center of a warmhearted Christmas movie. As weird of a marriage as it appears to be on paper, these polar opposites are able to coexist with each other quite well in practice. The action scenes are full of energy, amusing sight gags and bloody "oh shit!!"-inducing kills, Leguizamo gives a deliriously hammy villain performance that feels like it was ripped straight from the 80's/90's B-action movie heyday and Harbour's delightful, deceptively multi-faceted portrayal of Santa Claus allows him to be convincing as a cynical drunk who has had it with Christmas, a resourceful ass-kicker and a kind, honest man who rediscovers his purpose through the belief that a sweet little girl had in his inherent good. 

There are some complaints to be made about how genuine Violent Night's heart is considering how much cartoonish albeit graphic violence it contains and how shitty most of the characters are as human beings (including the survivors), but I'd argue that a phony sense of love and optimism is a pillar of Christmas, so that doesn't really take away from its ability to emit a holiday spirit. Violent Night never promised to suppress the questionable sentimentality that drives the subgenre, it just invited some morbid favors along to the party. And if there's a better recipe for a Christmas film than Santa stabbing a henchman in the eye with a light-up ornament then immediately crawling over to a walkie talkie to comfort a distressed small child after her family said that he wasn't real, we've yet to see it.            

Grade: B+

John Leguizamo Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of John Leguizamo-whose latest project "Violent Night" arrives in theaters tonight.  

John Leguizamo's Filmography Ranked:

28.Executive Decision (D+)

27.The Counselor (D+)  

26.Super Mario Bros. (D+)

25.Dr. Dolittle 2 (C-)

24.Ice Age: The Meltdown (C-)

23.The Honeymooners (C)

22.Righteous Kill (C)

21.Critical Thinking (C)

20.Dr. Dolittle (C+)

19.Ride Along (B-)

18.Spun (B-)

17.Encanto (B-)

16.Titan A.E. (B-)

15.Ice Age (B-)

14.The Happening (B-)

13.Assault on Precinct 13 (B)

12.Repo Men (B)

11.The Infiltrator (B)

10.Gamer (B)

9.Sisters (B)

8.Die Hard 2 (B)

7.Chef (B)

6.The Menu (B)

5.Kick-Ass 2 (B+)

4.The Lincoln Lawyer (B+)

3.American Ultra (B+)

2.John Wick (A-)

1.John Wick: Chapter 2 (A-)

Top Dog: John Wick: Chapter 2 (2016)

John Wick: Chapter 2 represents the moment when this scrappy little revenge actioner leveled up into a full-blown, spectacle-driven franchise. The locations are more exotic, the action sequences are more elaborate and the sense of humor is more pronounced and effective (the subway station scene remains the funniest moment of the entire franchise). Best of all, it never manages to lose sight of its original cross-cultural "gun fu" roots in the upscaling process and that's why this franchise continues to be the class of modern Hollywood action flicks.  

Bottom Feeder: Executive Decision (1996)

I'm too young to have seen or remember every movie that took inspiration from Die Hard, but Executive Decision is a strong contender for the worst one I've watched. Not even the presence of the seasoned genre icon Kurt Russell in the hero role can add any spirit to this lifeless action flick that makes breathtakingly poor use of its claustrophobic plane setting.  

Most Underrated: American Ultra (2015)

Part sweet romantic stoner comedy and part balls-to-the wall B-action movie, American Ultra is an absurd and absurdly entertaining concoction that is brought to life by some vibrant, wacky performances from its awesome ensemble cast (Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Topher Grace, Connie Britton, Leguizamo, Walton Goggins, Bill Pullman, Tony Hale) and energetic direction from Nima Noruizadeh-who somehow hasn't landed another film project since this. 

Most Overrated: Encanto (2021)

To be honest, Encanto is the first time I've even somewhat enjoyed a movie from Walt Disney Animation Studios since Big Hero 6. However, it's still a largely unspectacular, underwritten Disney project that coasts by on its pretty animation, relatively likable characters (except for Abuela, she STINKS) and regular musical interludes penned by the beloved Lin Manuel-Miranda.

John Leguizamo Movie I Have a Nuclear Take About: The Happening (2008)

Something really stood out to me when I rewatched The Happening for the first time since seeing it in theaters on opening night earlier this year: I think the movie is genuinely trying to be tongue-in-cheek. Whether its successful in doing so is another question entirely, but I was shocked to discover that many of the over-the-top death scenes and long monologues about things like the virtues of hot dogs or begging a plant for mercy in the midst of an environmental crisis that is forcing people to kill themselves that I found to be unintentionally funny as a teenager were designed to be purposefully funny and as a result of this revelation, I now view The Happening in a pretty positive light. Never underestimate the power of how time can change your perspective on things folks.