Movie Review: Expend4bles

No one can accuse Expend4bles of not remaining committed to its roots. Where the first two entries in the franchise were triumphant throwbacks to the days of delightfully self-aware hyperviolent macho action fare of the 80's and 90's, the fourth installment of the Sylvester Stallone/Jason Statham-led action movie all-star retreat is the type of dumber, shoddier unnecessary sequel that doesn't ever stop to think if anyone actually gives a shit that its characters have been gone for so long or are finally back in the saddle. 

Expend4bles isn't just the worst installment in the franchise, it earns that title in a landslide victory. The action mostly consists of weightless shootouts that contain some of the sloppiest random cuts you'll ever see in a big-budget movie, nobody in the history of the franchise has been more miscast than 50 Cent and Andy Garcia and the attempts at building the camaraderie that were a crucial part of the success of the previous installments mostly fall flat since the new blood (Megan Fox, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, 50 Cent, Garcia) aren't given enough to do on their missions and the old guard (Stallone, Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture) feel too isolated from their new running mates to really accept them as part of their elite mercenary club.

But the movie is also so dedicated to being a loud, crass throwback to a bygone era of action moviemaking that it manages to be kind of admirable and endearing even in its weakest moments Like, when's the next time people are going to be treated to something that has so many wildly tasteless, profoundly idiotic plot developments, tired sex jokes that only Facebook comment section frequenters will find funny and charmingly awful CGI blood explosions that look like somebody tried to make bloody diarrhea in Microsoft Paint? Stallone said he's done making Rambo movies after Last Blood, so probably not anytime soon. Action movies that are both kinda sorta dogshit and kinda sorta fun are sort of a lost artform in Hollywood these days and it was oddly refreshing to sit in a theater and be reminded of exactly what much of the 80's and 90's looked like in this wonderful genre. Hopefully the people of Bulgaria, Brazil and Bangladesh go onto embrace Expend4bles so we can get another of these lovable pieces of trash in a few years. 

Grade: C+