Ed Helms Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Ed Helms-whose latest project "Family Switch" is out now on Netflix. 

Ed Helms' Filmography Ranked:

24.Monsters vs. Aliens (C-)

23.Evan Almighty (C-)

22.Jeff, Who Lives at Home (C-)

21.Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story (C)

20.The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (C)

19.Meet Dave (C)

18.Semi-Pro (C)

17.They Came Together (C)

16.The Hangover Part III (C+)

15.The Hangover Part II (C+)

14.Father Figures (B-)

13.Vacation (B-)

12.Coffee & Kareem (B)

11.A Futile and Stupid Gesture (B)

10.Ron's Gone Wrong (B)

9.Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay (B)

8.Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (B)

7.Cedar Rapids (B)

6.Together Together (B) 

5.Chappaquiddick (B+)

4.Tag (B+)

3.The Hangover (A-)

2.We're the Millers (A-)

1.Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (A-)

Top Dog: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)

A clever, consistently hilarious spoof of music biopics led by what just might be the best comedic performance of John C. Riley's career, Walk Hard is a true gem that has aged significantly better than most of the comedies from its era. 

Bottom Feeder: Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

While Dreamworks Animation has churned out some titles that are of a considerably worse quality, Monsters vs. Aliens is the most forgettable one from their catalog that I've seen. To be honest, the only thing I remember about at it all is that Seth Rogen voiced a one-eyed blue blob creature named B.O.B. Not a great sign for a family cartoon that has the relatively novel concept of monsters being tasked with defending the Earth from an alien invasion.   

Most Underrated: Tag (2018)

Bring back goofy ensemble buddy comedies! Tag isn't a classic or even the best R-rated comedy released in 2018, but it's a highly enjoyable watch that's full of energy, heart and funny performances galore from the likes of Jeremy Renner, Jake Johnson, Isla Fisher and a scene-stealing Hannibal Burress in one of his all-too-rare acting roles. 

Most Overrated: Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2012)

Jeff, Who Lives at Home attempts to marry quirky comedy with grounded family drama and it just never quite comes together-leading to a pretty uneven, tonally-confused final product.

2023 NFL Power Rankings: Week 13

()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (10-1) Week 13 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

2.(6) San Francisco 49ers (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

3.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Green Bay Packers

4.(4) Miami Dolphins (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Washington Commanders

5.(5) Baltimore Ravens (9-3) Week 13 opponent: Bye

6.(7) Dallas Cowboys (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

7.(2) Detroit Lions (8-3) Week 13 opponent: New Orleans Saints

8.(9) Jacksonville Jaguars (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

9.(13) Denver Broncos (6-5) Week 13 opponent: Houston Texans

10.(10) Houston Texans (6-5) Week 13 opponent: Denver Broncos

11.(8) Cleveland Browns (7-4) Week 13 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

12.(15) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-4) Week 13 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

13.(11) Seattle Seahawks (6-5) Week 13 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

14.(12) Buffalo Bills (6-6) Week 13 opponent: Bye

15.(17) Indianapolis Colts (6-5) Week 13 opponent: Tennessee Titans

16.(14) Minnesota Vikings (6-6) Week 13 opponent: Bye

17.(24) Green Bay Packers (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

18.(20) Los Angeles Rams (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Cleveland Browns

19.(23) Atlanta Falcons (5-6) Week 13 opponent: New York Jets

20.(16) New Orleans Saints (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Detroit Lions

21.(19) Los Angeles Chargers (4-7) Week 13 opponent: New England Patriots

22.(18) Cincinnati Bengals (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

23.(21) Las Vegas Raiders (5-7) Week 13 opponent: Bye

24.(22) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-7) Week 13 opponent: Carolina Panthers

25.(28) Chicago Bears (4-8) Week 13 opponent: Bye

26.(25) Washington Commanders (4-8) Week 13 opponent: Miami Dolphins

27.(29) New York Giants (4-8) Week 13 opponent: Bye

28.(26) Tennessee Titans (3-8) Week 13 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

29.(27) New York Jets (4-7) Week 13 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

30.(30) New England Patriots (2-9) Week 13 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

31.(31) Arizona Cardinals (2-10) Week 13 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

32.(32) Carolina Panthers (1-10) Week 13 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

Week 12 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2023 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Josh Allen (Bills)

The Bills might not have won the OT thriller against the Eagles on Sunday but Allen did at least win the day in fantasy. Allen put together the type of dual-threat performance that has made him an elite QB1 option in recent years-throwing for 339 YDS, 2 TD's and an INT and rushing for 81 YDS and 2 TD's on only 9 carries. There's been the usual peak and valleys with Allen in 2023, but he's remained a great fantasy option despite the Bills real world struggles thus far. A date with his sworn enemies in Kansas City await him once he returns from bye in Week 14.

Honorable Mentions: Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Dak Prescott (Cowboys), C.J. Stroud (Texans) 

LVP: Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

The Jets clowncar and strong performances from Jaylen Waddle, Tyreek Hill and Raheem Mostert have covered up just how loose Tua was with the football in that game. He coughed the ball up 3 times (1 lost fumble, 2 INT's-1 of which was returned for a TD) and tanked an otherwise serviceable line (243 YDS, 1 TD) in the latest laugher of a "marquee game" to get broadcast on Amazon's airwaves. Tua has a great shot to move over to the category above this in Week 13 when he goes up against the Commanders abysmal secondary.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Justin Fields (Bears), Brock Purdy (49ers), Justin Herbert (Chargers)

Running Back

MVP: Kyren Williams (Rams)

Welcome back from IR, Mr. Williams! Your owners sorely missed your reliable RB1 production! After a slow-ish start where Royce Freeman was handling the bulk of the backfield work, Williams caught fire and didn't look back as he obliterated the Cardinals defense nearly every time he got the ball-finishing the day with 204 scrimmage YDS and 2 TD grabs on 22 touches (16 carries, 6 receptions). Williams should be in for much tougher sledding this week against the Browns stout defense.  

Honorable Mentions: Christian McCaffery (49ers), Bijan Robinson (Falcons), Isiah Pacheco (Chiefs)

LVP: Gus Edwards (Ravens)

A flop was inevitable for the TD-dependent Gus the Bus, I just don't think many people expected it to occur against the Chargers miserably bad defense. Edwards got outshined by both Keaton Mitchell and Justice Hill in the Ravens semi-unpredictable RB committee this week, putting up a pedestrian 37 YDS (26 rushing, 11 receiving) on just 9 touches. Edwards will remain on the RB2/3 borderline when the Ravens play the Rams in Week 14.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Saquon Barkley (Giants), James Conner (Cardinals), Jaylen Warren (Steelers)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Mike Evans (Buccaneers)

Evans did what he does best on Sunday versus the Colts: Find the endzone. The Bucs top wideout made a pair of visits to his favorite place on the football field and despite his best efforts to keep things close with his 6 REC/70 YD/2 TD performance, his team ultimately fell short of victory for the 6th time in the last 7 games. He'll be a risky WR2 play for this week's showdown with a tough Panthers secondary.

Honorable Mentions: Tyreek Hill (Dolphins), Zay Flowers (Ravens), DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

LVP: Cooper Kupp (Rams)

Kupp's return to the field from his latest injury wasn't a triumphant one. The star wideout only logged 3 catches for 18 YDS as Kyren Williams, Tutu Atwell, Royce Freeman and Tyler Higbee served as the top offensive contributors in their easy win over the Cardinals. Kupp faces a really tough draw this week against a Browns D that has allowed the 2nd least fantasy points to WR's in half-PPR leagues and the 3rd least in standard. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Puka Nacua (Rams), DK Metcalf (Seahawks), Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)

Tight End

MVP: Sam LaPorta (Lions)

LaPorta's 5 REC/47 YD/TD/2-PT CNV outing versus the Packers on Thanksgiving led the way in another quiet week for TE's. The reliable rookie pass-catcher has a date with the Saints in Week 13.   

Honorable Mentions: T.J. Hockenson (Vikings), Travis Kelce (Chiefs), Tyler Higbee (Rams)

LVP: Dalton Schultz (Texans)

Schultz's didn't get to partake in any of the fun of C.J. Stroud's latest 300+-YD outing against the Jaguars as he managed just 1 catch for 2 YDS on only 2 targets. His wildly erratic inaugural season in Houston has been infuriating for fantasy purposes but the weekly upside is too strong to take him out of the lineup for any team that doesn't have Kelce, Hockenson, Kittle or LaPorta on their roster. Schultz will face a Broncos defense that has allowed 6 TD's to TE's in 2023 this week. 

Dishonorable Mentions: George Kittle (49ers), Kyle Pitts (Falcons), Logan Thomas (Commanders)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Dolphins

Vic Fangio's group beating up on the Tim Boyle-led Jets offense was the layup of the week, but holy hell did they manage to a find a way to REALLY take advantage of this terrific matchup. They picked up 7 sacks, 2 picks (1 of which was returned for a TD by Jevon Holland on a hail mary attempt right before halftime that just might go down as the saddest pick 6 in NFL history) and allowed just 7 points as they cruised to victory in East Rutherford. They've got yet another great matchup lined up for Week 13 when they take on a Commanders group that has struggled with allowing sacks and turning the ball over all season long.

Honorable Mentions: Cowboys, Broncos, Ravens

LVP: Chiefs

After a rough start in which they allowed a pair of TD's to the Raiders, the Chiefs D rallied nicely and only surrendered 3 points for the rest of the game. However, they still failed to take advantage of this great matchup against a limited offense run by rookie Aidan O'Connell-picking up just 1 sack and failing to get any takeaways. They'll hope for a more productive outing when they take on the Packers this Sunday night.

Dishonorable Mentions: Bills, Lions, Browns

Quick Movie Reviews: Next Goal Wins, Thanksgiving, Saltburn, Napoleon

Next Goal Wins: For fans of sports comedies about underdog misfit teams that feature silly jokes, an emotional core that isn't necessarily coming from a sincere place and no surprises whatsoever, Next Goal Wins will most likely get the job done. Director/co-writer Taika Waititi is a good fit for this lightweight story about the historically awful American Samoan Men's National Team as they aim to turn things around for the 2014 World Cup Qualifiers by hiring embattled international soccer veteran Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender-who does pretty well playing a short-tempered, visibly disengaged drunk who slowly warms up to his new team) as their new head coach that allows him to showcase the warm, tight-knit community of American Samoa for the world while also getting the opportunity to stage a string of amusing situational comedy bits and effectively mock the white savior tropes that are often a part of the sports movie genre. The handling of key supporting character Jaiyah Saelua (Kaimana)-a defender on the team who is in the process of transitioning into a woman-is clumsy, if not full-blown insensitive at times and definitely won't sit well with some members of the trans community and their loved ones, but aside from that misstep, it's exactly the fun, funny and somewhat sweet little movie that Waititi wanted it to be.     

Grade: B

Thanksgiving: Son of a bitch, Eli Roth really pulled it off! Every ounce of the fake trailer's sadistic B-slasher spirit has been transferred into the feature adaptation/expansion that is full of memorable kills, gnarly practical gore and the brand of giddy dark humor that Roth has long flashed in his work but never gave the proper amount of attention to. As long as the sequels continued to be this depraved, hilarious and entertaining, I'd be all-in on Thanksgiving turning into the next slasher franchise.      

Grade: B+

Saltburn: Emerald Fennell could've made just about anything she wanted after winning the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Promising Young Woman and she opted to make a piece of triumphant  camp excess in Saltburn. In other news, I'm pretty confident I've now become a lifetime fan of Emerald Fennell.

It takes a little bit for Saltburn's ridiculous web to be woven, but once it does, woo baby, does it become a blast. There isn't enough sex or violence on display for Saltburn to rival the God-tier gonzo goodness of 90's erotic thrillers like Wild Things and Basic Instinct, but it's the closest anything has come to replicating their brand of trashy, intoxicating campiness in the 21st Century. Every provocation, revelation and plot twist Fennell throws down pulls Saltburn deeper down into the gutter and it only becomes more appealing with each new deposit of stinky, silly shit. By the time the big final reveal comes around and the context of nearly every previous scene gets dramatically shifted, I couldn't stop chuckling at the beautifully warped beast that Fennell had created. All six of the lead performances (Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Rosamund Pike, Richard E. Grant, Archie Madekwe, Allison Oliver) are perfectly in sync with Fennell's vision, the script is roaringly funny and Linus Sandgren's cinematography conveys the trashy opulent aesthetic of this movie so perfectly that I'm already starting to get upset that he won't win an Oscar. May Fennell be blessed with the opportunity to continue to run wild in Hollywood for years to come.                

Grade: B+

Napoleon: This latest spin of the always unpredictable Ridley Scott Wheel of Quality yields mixed results. The portrayal of Napoleon Bonaparte as a manbaby tyrant with a comically fragile ego is inspired, most of the battle sequences (the Austerlitz sequence is particularly awe-inspiring) are expertly staged and every scene between Napoleon (Joaquin Phoenix) and his longtime wife/#1 hater Josephine (Vanessa Kirby) is a compelling soap opera exchange that highlights their ridiculous, contempt-and-jealously-filled relationship. Unfortunately, Napoleon runs into a similar set of problems as Scott's previous film House of Gucci as its tone clunkily shifts between the farcical and stoic at the drop of a hat and the 157-minute runtime simultaneously feels too long and too short as it struggles to justify its 2.5+ hour running time while also leaving nearly every element of its story underdeveloped. Could Scott's upcoming 4-hour director's cut presumably solve some of these problems? Yes, but quite frankly, I'm not sure I have the heart to sit through this again to find out the answer. 

Grade: B-

2023 NFL Power Rankings: Week 12

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (9-1) Week 12 opponent: Buffalo Bills

2.(3) Detroit Lions (8-2) Week 12 opponent: Green Bay Packers

3.(2) Kansas City Chiefs (7-3) Week 12 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

4.(4) Miami Dolphins (7-3) Week 12 opponent: New York Jets

5.(5) Baltimore Ravens (8-3) Week 12 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

6.(6) San Francisco 49ers (7-3) Week 12 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

7.(7) Dallas Cowboys (7-3) Week 12 opponent: Washington Commanders

8.(8) Cleveland Browns (7-3) Week 12 opponent: Denver Broncos

9.(9) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-3) Week 12 opponent: Houston Texans

10.(11) Houston Texans (6-4) Week 12 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

11.(10) Seattle Seahawks (6-4) Week 12 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

12.(15) Buffalo Bills (6-5) Week 12 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

13.(20) Denver Broncos (5-5) Week 12 opponent: Cleveland Browns

14.(13) Minnesota Vikings (6-5) Week 12 opponent: Chicago Bears

15.(14) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4) Week 12 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

16.(16) New Orleans Saints (5-5) Week 12 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

17.(17) Indianapolis Colts (5-5) Week 12 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

18.(12) Cincinnati Bengals (5-5) Week 12 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

19.(18) Los Angeles Chargers (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

20.(26) Los Angeles Rams (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

21.(21) Las Vegas Raiders (5-6) Week 12 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

22.(19) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

23.(23) Atlanta Falcons (4-6) Week 12 opponent: New Orleans Saints

24.(28) Green Bay Packers (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Detroit Lions 

25.(21) Washington Commanders (4-7) Week 12 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

26.(25) Tennessee Titans (3-7) Week 12 opponent: Carolina Panthers

27.(24) New York Jets (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Miami Dolphins

28.(27) Chicago Bears (3-8) Week 12 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

29.(31) New York Giants (3-8) Week 12 opponent: New England Patriots

30.(30) New England Patriots (2-8) Week 12 opponent: New York Giants

31.(29) Arizona Cardinals (2-9) Week 12 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

32.(32) Carolina Panthers (1-9) Week 12 opponent: Tennessee Titans

Week 11 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2023 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars)

After his faceplant against the 49ers in Week 10, Lawrence took full advantage of the softer matchup against the Titans this week by putting together his clear best performance of the season (262 YDS, 2 TD's, 17 Rushing YDS, 2 TD's). Lawrence will hope to parlay this exceptional showing into the beginning of a hot streak in Week 12 against a Texans team that he played pretty poorly against back in Week 3.

Honorable Mentions: Brock Purdy (49ers), Justin Herbert (Chargers), Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

LVP: Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

Mahomes probably would've been in the running for MVP if Travis Kelce hadn't fumbled in the redzone or he had just 1 wide receiver with serviceable hands. But alas, that didn't happen and he ended up with a pretty pedestrian line (177 YDS/2 TD's/INT/38 Rushing YDS) in a frankly stunning loss to the Eagles last night. Mahomes supporting cast on offense has been bad enough this year to cause him to have average-to-below-average performances with a far greater degree of regularity than usual and unless his receivers start using banned substances to help them catch passes, that will likely remain the case the rest of the way.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Jared Goff (Lions), Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Joshua Dobbs (Vikings)

Running Back

MVP: Saquon Barkley (Giants) 

The top beneficiary of Brian Daboll actually allowing Tommy DeVito to throw the ball against the Commanders abysmal pass defense was Barkley. The star running back caught 4 passes for 57 YDS and 2 TD's while also contributing 83 YDS on the ground on just 14 carries as the Giants picked up a victory that was good for locker room morale and horrible for their 2024 draft position. Barkley will have another golden opportunity to clean up against a reeling Patriots team that would greatly benefit from losing on Sunday.  

Honorable Mentions: Gus Edwards (Ravens), Christian McCaffery (49ers), Devin Singletary (Texans)

LVP: Najee Harris (Steelers)

Stop me if you heard this before but Harris got severely outplayed by Jaylen Warren against the Browns this past week. While Harris turned his 13 touches (12 carries, 1 reception) into a measly 36 scrimmage YDS, Warren picked up 145 YDS and a score on 12. Matt Canada getting ousted as OC today is the perfect opportunity for the Steelers to put Harris on the bench where he belongs. Fantasy managers should follow suit. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Derrick Henry (Titans), Austin Ekeler (Chargers), Josh Jacobs (Raiders)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Calvin Ridley (Jaguars)

Ridley put together one hell of a slump-buster performance against the Titans in Week 10, securing 7 catches for 103 YDS and 2 TD's while further sweetening the pot with an 18-YD carry. What version of Ridley will show on Sunday in Houston is anyone's guess, but he'll be hard to sit after a performance like this.

Honorable Mentions: Tyreek Hill (Dolphins), Tank Dell (Texans), Brandon Aiyuk (49ers

LVP: Garrett Wilson (Jets)

Wilson racks up so many damn catches each week that he's remained a solid enough fantasy option despite the staggering ineptitude of the Jets offense. His seemingly long-overdue awful performance arrived in Week 11 as he managed only 2 catches for 9 YDS and lost a fumble in a blowout loss versus the Bills. A whole lot more bleak days could be on the horizon for Wilson as the Jets have benched Zach Wilson in favor of Tim Boyle-who is one of the only QB's in the league right now that's less qualified to start than Zach Wilson.    

Dishonorable Mentions: A.J. Brown (Eagles), Marquise Brown (Cardinals), Stefon Diggs (Bills)

Tight End

MVP: George Kittle (49ers)

Kittle was all over the place on Sunday against the Bucs porous pass defense, reeling in 8 catches for 89 YDS and a TD as the 49ers cruised to a victory. With Mark Andrews likely out for the year after sustaining an ankle/fibula injury last week, Kittle officially moves into top 3 overall TE territory and becomes even more indispensable to the people who have him on their team . 

LVP: Tyler Higbee (Rams)

Even Cooper Kupp exiting the game with an ankle sprain wasn't enough to get Higbee involved in the passing game against the Seahawks. Ultimately, he caught just 1-of-3 targets for 17 YDS and got outscored by nearly every TE that stepped on the field this week. With Kyren Williams reportedly in line to be activated off IR for this week's game with the Cardinals, Higbee's already limited target share is at risk of dipping even lower. He's a safe drop option in any league that has less than 14 teams. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Cole Kmet (Bears), Evan Engram (Jaguars), Pat Friermuth (Steelers)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Cowboys

In a development that should shock no one, the Cowboys defense absolutely feasted on the Panthers struggling rookie QB and league-worst offensive line. Dan Quinn's group picked up 7 sacks, a fumble recovery and a pick 6 by Da'Ron Bland and only allowed 10 points in yet another blowout victory in 2023 for the 'Boys. They'll face the Commanders in Week 12.

Honorable Mentions: Bills, Dolphins, 49ers

LVP: Jets 

A pissed-off Josh Allen and even-worse-than-usual performance from their own offense was a recipe that led to the Jets D surrendering 32 points to the Bills while only picking up a single sack and takeaway to offset the damage of the high point total they allowed. They'll be a tough sell as a starter for this week's contest with the Dolphins.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Lions, Eagles, Ravens

Joaquin Phoenix Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Joaquin Phoenix-whose latest project "Napoleon" releases in theaters tomorrow. 

Joaquin Phoenix's Filmography Ranked:

17.Joker (D-)

16.The Village (D+)

15.Signs (C-)

14.Ladder 49 (C)

13.The Sisters Brothers (C)

12.Irrational Man (C)

11.You Were Never Really Here (C)

10.Clay Pigeons (B-)

9.Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot (B)

8.We Own the Night (B)

7.Beau is Afraid (B)

6.Hotel Rwanda (B)

5.Walk the Line (B)

4.C'mon C'mon (B+)

3.To Die For (B+)

2.Her (B+)

1.Gladiator (A)

Top Dog: Gladiator (2000)

The last time Phoenix and Ridley Scott collaborated on a big period action epic prior to Napoleon, the results were really special. While undeniably cheesy, Gladiator is one of those badass, wildly entertaining pieces of meathead entertainment that hits all of the right notes with its action sequences, rousing monologues and melodramatic story beats.   

Bottom Feeder: Joker (2019)

Turns out the guy behind Old School and The Hangover trilogy isn't all that great at making serious movies. But what makes Joker particularly painful to endure is that Todd Phillips thinks that he's fucking terrific at it. In fact, he spends the entire movie patting himself on the back for having the vision to reimagine The King of Comedy as an origin story for an iconic Batman villain. Joker's self-congratulatory nature-particularly regarding its approach to its social commentary on how "the system" fails people with mental illness and the shock value of its violence-turns what is supposed to be this profound, disturbing psychological character study into an insufferable piece of trash that is so desperate to be taken seriously that it becomes embarrassing.            

Most Underrated: To Die For (1995)

Right before he went onto the make the biggest hit of his career to date in Good Will Hunting, Gus Van Sant made a very different but similarly excellent film in To Die For. This darkly comedic satire about a local news reporter (Nicole Kidman) who dreams of becoming a star who enlists three naïve teenagers (Phoenix, Casey Affleck, Alison Folland) to murder her husband (Matt Dillon) who doesn't support her Hollywood aspirations takes some sharp shots at America's obsessions with celebrity and tabloid culture while also serving as an early showcase for Kidman and Phoenix's willingness to go to really ugly places on screen.

Most Overrated: Joker (2019)

The following films more received more Oscar nominations than Joker in 2019:

The following films won more Oscars than Joker in 2019:

Parasite 

1917

This is by far my least favorite movie or awards fact in recent history. I would pay a good $20 to have it erased from my memory permanently. If Phillips can repeat this feat in the upcoming musical sequel that features a method-acting Lady Gaga next year, there will likely be a new winner for my least movie or awards fact in recent history.  

Michael Fassbender Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Michael Fassbender-whose latest project "Next Goal Wins" opens in theaters tonight.

Michael Fassbender's Filmography Ranked:

16.The Counselor (D) 

15.Haywire (D)

14.Jonah Hex (D+)

13.Alien: Covenant (D+)

12.Slow West (C-)

11.Shame (C)

10.Prometheus (B-)

9.Dark Phoenix (B)

8.12 Years a Slave (B)

7.X-Men: Apocalypse (B+)

6.X-Men: First Class (A-)

5.Steve Jobs (A-)

4.The Killer (A-)

3.X-Men: Days of Future Past (A)

2.300 (A)

1.Inglorious Basterds (A)

Top Dog: Inglorious Basterds (2009)

The start of Tarantino's ongoing alternate history-era marked an incredible return to form for him after the misstep (by his lofty standards at least) that was Death Proof. Tarantino is able to blend dark comedy, nerve-rattling tension and cathartic, over-the-top action in this engrossing interconnected story that follows an elite squad of Nazi hunters (Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Fassbender, Til Schweiger, B.J. Novak, Gedeon Burkhard), a movie theater owner (Melanie Laurent) looking for revenge and ruthless Nazi colonel (Christoph Waltz) as they slowly work towards their paths converging in Nazi-occupied France in 1944. It's one of the best films of Tarantino's storied career and probably the one released in the 21st Century that's had the biggest cultural impact.  

Bottom Feeder: The Counselor (2013)

The most interesting and infuriating thing about Ridley Scott as a director is that truly any quality outcome is possible with his films. He's made several masterpieces, completely unwatchable pieces of shit and basically everything else in between over the course his remarkable 5+ decade career in film. The Counselor is near the top (or bottom, depending on how you look at it) of the "Completely Unwatchable Piece of Shit" list. Despite an intriguing premise surrounding a naïve American lawyer (Fassbender) who realizes far too late that getting involved in the Mexican drug trade can have deadly consequences, The Counselor manages to be a brutally dull and disjointed affair with a rushed, awkward narrative and some really horrendous performances from Fassbender, Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz.        

Most Underrated: X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Yes, X-Men: Apocalypse is a silly movie that didn't completely sustain the momentum built up by its excellent predecessors First Class and Days of Future Past . But damn it, I still think it's a whole lot of fun and gets far more shit than it deserves. 

Most Overrated: Alien: Covenant (2017)

While I wasn't the biggest fan of Prometheus, it was at least a semi-respectable prequel to Alien that had a handful of sufficiently nasty scenes that shared some DNA with the most memorable body horror moments of the original. Alien: Covenant, on the other hand, is a pretty much useless film that sees Ridley Scott bid farewell to the franchise that launched his career into overdrive with a booming thud. Outside of an unintentionally  hilarious sequence involving one character teaching another how to play the flute, it's a shockingly lifeless affair with boring kills, predictable plot twists and real no reason to exist other than to add more useless lore to a universe that really doesn't need it.  

2023 NFL Power Rankings: Week 11

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (8-1) Week 11 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

2.(2) Kansas City Chiefs (7-2) Week 11 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

3.(7) Detroit Lions (7-2) Week 11 opponent: Chicago Bears

4.(4) Miami Dolphins (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

5.(3) Baltimore Ravens (7-3) Week 11 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals 

6.(8) San Francisco 49ers (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

7.(9) Dallas Cowboys (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Carolina Panthers

8.(10) Cleveland Browns (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

9.(5) Jacksonville Jaguars (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Tennessee Titans

10.(12) Seattle Seahawks (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

11.(14) Houston Texans (5-4) Week 11 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

12.(6) Cincinnati Bengals (5-4) Week 11 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

13.(16) Minnesota Vikings (6-4) Week 11 opponent: Denver Broncos

14.(15) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Cleveland Browns

15.(11) Buffalo Bills (5-5) Week 11 opponent: New York Jets

16.(13) New Orleans Saints (5-5) Week 11 opponent: Bye

17.(20) Indianapolis Colts (5-5) Week 11 opponent: Bye

18.(17) Los Angeles Chargers (4-5) Week 11 opponent: Green Bay Packers

19.(22) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-5) Week 11 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

20.(25) Denver Broncos (4-5) Week 11 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

21.(24) Las Vegas Raiders (5-5) Week 11 opponent: Miami Dolphins

22.(21) Washington Commanders (4-6) Week 11 opponent: New York Giants

23.(18) Atlanta Falcons (4-6) Week 11 opponent: Bye

24.(19) New York Jets (4-5) Week 11 opponent: Buffalo Bills

25.(23) Tennessee Titans (3-6) Week 11 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

26.(26) Los Angeles Rams (3-6) Week 11 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

27.(28) Chicago Bears (3-7) Week 11 opponent: Detroit Lions

28.(27) Green Bay Packers (3-6) Week 11 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

29.(32) Arizona Cardinals (2-8) Week 11 opponent: Houston Texans

30.(29) New England Patriots (2-8) Week 11 opponent: Bye

31.(30) New York Giants (2-8) Week 11 opponent: Washington Commanders

32.(31) Carolina Panthers (1-8) Week 11 opponent: Dallas Cowboys  

Week 10 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2023 Edition

Quarterback:

MVP: Dak Prescott (Cowboys)

In the Cowboys Week 1 blowout win over the Giants, the defense and special teams ensured that Dak's services as quarterback weren't needed much. In the Cowboys Week 10 blowout win over the Giants, he got his time to shine. His Madden-esque performance (404 YDS, 4 TD's, INT, 17 Rushing YDS, TD) was so good that he got to finish the day on the bench while backup Cooper Rush guided one final TD drive against their helpless division rivals. Dak could be in line for another effortlessly brilliant performance this week when they take on the helpless Panthers.     

Honorable Mentions: Justin Herbert (Chargers), Josh Dobbs (Vikings), Sam Howell (Commanders)

LVP: Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars)

The 49ers defense' recent struggles came to an end on Sunday and nobody on the planet is more aware of that fact than Lawrence. He got absolutely pummeled by their pass rush and was completely out of sync all afternoon-which shows in his horrendous, turnover-riddled line (185 YDS, 0 TD, 2 INT, 7 Rushing YDS, FUM Lost). Lawrence has a good chance of quickly getting back on track when he faces the Titans in Week 11. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Josh Allen (Bills), Will Levis (Titans)

Running Back:

MVP: Jahmyr Gibbs (Lions)

There were several stars on the Lions offense during their tremendous performance in a full-blown shootout with the Chargers but only one of those guys found the endzone twice. In addition to the 2 scores, Gibbs put up an impressive 112 scrimmage YDS (77 rushing, 35 receiving) on just 17 touches. Since being freed from the bench a few weeks back, Gibbs has been electric and it would be downright negligent if Dan Campbell and Ben Johnson didn't continue to prominently feature him in the offense. 

Honorable Mentions: Brian Robinson Jr. (Commanders), Devin Singletary (Texans), Austin Ekeler (Chargers)

LVP: Derrick Henry (Titans)

Another game with Will Levis under center, another disheartening dud from Henry. The workhorse back only earned 12 touches (11 carries and 1 reception) on Sunday and did very little with them (20 YDS) as the Titans got smacked around by the Bucs on the road. Henry could be in line for his 3rd straight dud as the Titans have to go up against the Jags and their stout rush D in Week 11.

Dishonorable Mentions: Travis Etienne Jr. (Jaguars), Alexander Mattison (Vikings), Tony Pollard (Cowboys)

Wide Receiver:

MVP: Keenan Allen (Chargers)

Unlike the Lions who got contributions from numerous backs and receivers during the shootout, Allen and Austin Ekeler were basically the only ones helping Justin Herbert tear apart the opposing  defense. Allen put forth one of the best games of his career- registering a whopping 11 receptions for 175 YD and 2 TD's in yet another Bolts loss where the offense isn't to blame. With the nagging finger injury on Herbert's non-throwing hand now seemingly healed, Allen could be in line for a hell of a fantasy stretch run- which would only further solidify his status as one of the best value picks of 2023 at any position.

Honorable Mentions: CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys), Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions), Mike Evans (Buccaneers) 

LVP: Jahan Dotson (Commanders)

Just when everybody thought Dotson had finally turned a corner this season, he regressed right back to his slumping ways. Not only did Dotson finish the contest against the Seahawks with a big goose egg on the stat sheet, Sam Howell only targeted him twice on a day where attempted 44 passes and threw for 312 YDS and 3 TD's. Where Dotson actually stands in the passing hierarchy in Washington is a complete and total mystery right now and his trick-or-treat nature is something fantasy owners are just going to have to live with if they elect to put him into their lineups. This debate should be particularly heated this week as the Commanders are set to take on a Giants secondary that just got torched by CeeDee Lamb and Brandin Cooks.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Diontae Johnson (Steelers), Calvin Ridley (Jaguars), Marquise Brown (Cardinals)

Tight End:

MVP: T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

Josh Dobbs might not know much about his new playing environment in Minnesota right now, but he made fast friends with Hockenson in Week 11. The star tight end put on a major show against a dumbfounded Saints defense-securing 11 catches for 134 YDS and a TD as the Vikings improved to 2-0 with Dobbs under center. While Justin Jefferson's imminent return from a hamstring injury is going to reduce Hockenson's target share, the valuable reps he's picked up with Dobbs over the past couple weeks could give him a leg up over Jefferson for the rest of the season.

Honorable Mentions: George Kittle (49ers), Trey McBride (Cardinals), Dalton Kincaid (Bills)

LVP: Evan Engram (Jaguars)

Engram had no chance to shine on Sunday with Lawrence playing so poorly against the 49ers and it relegated him to a glamourless checkdown role as he finished the game with 4 catches for 12 YDS. He'll be back in the TE1 picture for this week's showdown with the Titans. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Taysom Hill (Saints), Kyle Pitts (Falcons), Hunter Henry (Patriots)

Defense/Special Teams:

MVP: 49ers

This was a pretty easy one to assume based on all of the Jaguars offense bashing I've done in this piece. The damage this defense did to Jacksonville on their home field was astounding (5 sacks, 2 INT, 2 FUM REC) as they played a significant role in the 34-3 win. A Bucs offense that has struggled against teams with winning records all season long awaits the 49ers next.

Honorable Mentions: Browns, Ravens, Buccaneers 

LVP: Saints 

Based on this past Sunday's performance alone, it would be impossible to buy that the Saints are one of the best defenses in the league. They were listless and supremely ineffective-logging 0 takeaways and just 1 sack-as Josh Dobbs and T.J. Hockenson diced them up all game long in a 27-19 loss. They're on bye this week, but expect them to be a waiver-wire favorite once they return to action in Week 12 as they have dates with the Falcons, Panthers and Giants lined up for this pivotal portion of the fantasy calendar.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Falcons, Seahawks, Bills

Movie Review: The Marvels

Fair or not, The Marvels is a case of the wrong movie at the wrong time for the Marvel machine. A combination of the lack of a coherent connected narrative in the Multiverse era, oversaturation of the marketplace via the Disney+ series and their signature on-the-fly, last-minute-tweak approach to writing, editing and constructing VFX finally leading to an extended string of a projects that weren't well-received by fans has the MCU in the bleakest place its been in at least a decade, if not ever. A low stakes team-up movie between characters that aren't among the heaviest hitters in their universe just isn't the kind of thing that was going to restore the shaken confidence and diminishing interest of the viewers that have started to check out on this world .

Now, does this mean The Marvels is some kind of irredeemable disgrace to the cinematic artform? Not at all. The power-swapping device that brings the lead trio (Brie Larson's Carol Danvers, Teyonah Parris' Monica Rambeau, Iman Vellani's Kamala Khan) together for this adventure paves the way for some fun action sequences, the chemistry between the three leads is pretty good and there's a couple of weird, whacky scenes that provide some of the biggest laughs I've gotten out of a Marvel movie in a while. However, these bright spots aren't enough to stop it from falling into the dreaded "Fine but Ultimately Forgettable Superhero Movie Bucket"-in large part due to several of Marvel's biggest long-standing institutional problems looming large over the film. 

First of all, its glaringly apparent that Kevin Feige and co. significantly meddled with the final product. The flow of the film-particularly in the second act-is clunky and it feels like a handful of scenes were haphazardly cut out in order to get the runtime down. Director Nia DaCosta has said recently in interviews that she always wanted the movie to be under 2 hours and while that very well could be true, it's hard to believe that someone with her degree of directorial skill would assemble a cut that features the exact type of roughness that is traditionally associated with a project that had the hands of many a studio shot caller all over it.   

Then, there's the typical half-baked, boring Marvel villain in Zawe Ashton's Dar-Benn. While her motivations are clear and simple enough (Danvers did severe damage to her planet and she wants to return the favor by using the power of some magical space bangle to destroy her home), her arc is really underwritten and the whole "annihilate Danvers" angle is diametrically opposed to the goofy nature of the rest of the film-which leads to some strange tonal shifts whenever the narrative is focusing on Benn that draw further attention to the presence of all the corporate cooks in the kitchen. Perhaps their recent struggles and the extra time they got to contemplate their future strategy while their bosses refused to pay to their writers and actors will get Feige to do the right thing and either allow the people he hired to make movies to just do their thing or simply not start shooting something until the script is in good enough to do so.   

It sucks that Larson, Parris, Vellani and DaCosta-who all did solid work here-will forever be linked to The Marvels creative and commercial failures. They're merely the unlucky bunch that got left paying the bill for a string of fuck-ups, oversights and bad creative practices that had nothing to do with them at a time where audiences have finally started to grow sick of the way of that Marvel does business. 

Despite the wishes of some cinephiles on Twitter, the MCU isn't going anywhere. But if they want to have the works of their non-juggernaut characters continue to make money moving forward, they're going to have to step their shit up from a quality control standpoint. Their days of assembling mediocre-to-decent projects on a whim with no financial consequences are officially over and it's going to take some serious retooling to win the skeptics back. Whether they're capable of doing it or not is another question entirely, but the theatrical industry needs as many hits as possible to ensure its survival and for me at least, that alone is enough of a reason to root for their success in doing so.                    

Grade: B-

Brie Larson Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Brie Larson-whose latest project "The Marvels" is in theaters now.

Brie Larson's Filmography Ranked:

16.The Glass Castle (C)

15.Unicorn Store (C+)

14.Don Jon (B-)

13.Free Fire (B-)

12.The Gambler (B)

11.Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (B)

10.Captain Marvel (B)

9.Fast X (B+)

8.Kong: Skull Island (B+)

7.Avengers: Endgame (A-)

6.Trainwreck (A)

5.Just Mercy (A)

4.The Spectacular Now (A)

3.21 Jump Street (A)

2.Short Term 12 (A)

1.Room (A)

Top Dog: Room (2015)

The film that earned Larson her Oscar also happens to be my favorite thing she's ever done. Room handles the harrowing struggle of escaping an unspeakably abusive domestic situation along with the difficulties that people who've escaped that situation have with reacclimating to a "normal life" with such raw power, empathy and grace that it makes the film really difficult to shake for hours, if not days after watching.     

Bottom Feeder: The Glass Castle (2017)

Despite some solid performances from a talented cast toplined by Larson, Woody Harrelson and Naomi Watts, The Glass Castle is ultimately too melodramatic and insincere with its messaging to be the tearjerker family drama it aims to be.  

Most Underrated: Short Term 12 (2013)

Larson, LaKeith Stanfield, Kaitlyn Dever, Rami Malek and Stephanie Beatriz all lent their then-unknown talents to Destin Daniel Cretton's-whose also leveled up a bit since 2013-remarkably powerful feature debut about the meaningful connections forged and life lessons learned between the people running a short-term group home for troubled teenagers and the kids they're in charge of. How Short Term 12 has continued to fly under-the-radar despite all of the success its cast and writer/director have enjoyed in the years following its release is completely beyond me. It's currently streaming on a number of streaming services including Prime Video, Tubi and Peacock and I highly recommend seeking it out if you haven't seen it.        

Most Overrated: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

The appeal of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World isn't lost on me. A stylish, hyperactive graphic novel adaptation that feels like an over-the-top cartoon-y fighting video game mixed with a snarky offbeat comedy and features a whole host of funny and cool actors including Michael Cera, Mary Elizbeth Winstead, Kiernan Culkin, Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza doing funny and cool shit on screen is hard to dislike. However, I just feel like it's not as clever, engaging or fun as the rest of Edgar Wright's movies and doesn't live up to the excellent reputation its developed over the years courtesy of its increasingly large cult fanbase.    

2023 NFL Mid-Season Awards+Updated Playoff and Super Bowl Predictions

Top Player: A.J. Brown (Eagles)

The Eagles offense has been kind of a roller coaster ride this season as Jalen Hurts, DeVonta Smith, Dallas Goedert and their entire rushing attack have all had their pronounced struggles at times. Brown's remarkable play has allowed them to power through their problems and remain one of the best teams in the league. Anytime they needed a big play, they went to Brown and he delivered nearly every time-which is a big part of why he's already over the 1,000 YD mark for the year. His record-breaking streak of 6 consecutive games with 125+ YDS receiving is also one of the more incredible achievements I've seen during my time watching football.     

Honorable Mentions: Tyreek Hill (Dolphins), Myles Garrett (Browns), Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

Top Offensive Player: Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

Hill is actually slightly ahead of Brown in receptions, YDS and TD's with his 69 REC/1,076 YD/8 TD start to 2023, I just found what Brown has done to be more impressive since the Eagles offense hasn't performed as well as the Dolphins has on the whole. The Cheetah continues to be the most explosive playmaker in the game and that's precisely why he's threatening to become the first 2,000+ YD receiver in league history. 

Honorable Mentions: Stefon Diggs (Bills), Raheem Mostert (Dolphins), Christian McCaffery (49ers)

Top Defensive Player: Myles Garrett (Browns)

Could this be the best start to a season that Garett has ever had? Honestly, I believe it is. The Browns edge-rusher extraordinaire has been a certified game-wrecker (25 tackles, 9.5 sacks, 8 TFL's, 18 QB hits, 22 pressures, 4 forced fumbles in just 8 games) that is chief among the reasons this defense has improved so much in 2023. If Garrett keeps this up the rest of the way, he's got an excellent chance of finally securing the DPOY honor that's been alluding him over the past few seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Roquan Smith (Ravens), T.J. Watt (Steelers), Maxx Crosby (Raiders)

Top Offensive Rookie: C.J. Stroud (Texans)

Even as someone who was particularly bullish on Stroud as an NFL prospect, I'm shocked by how good he's been right out of the gate. The signalcaller from Ohio State is in the midst of a historically good start to his rookie campaign-throwing for 2,270 YDS, 14 TD's and just 1 INT through 8 games. Most importantly, Stroud's play has provided the Texans organization with something that it hasn't had in quite some time: hope for the future of the franchise. 

Honorable Mentions: Puka Nacua (Rams), Sam LaPorta (Lions), Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

Top Defensive Rookie: Jalen Carter (Eagles)

Turn on any Eagles game and you're likely to see Carter make a half-dozen or so impact plays as either a pass-rusher or run-stuffer that leaves the opposing offensive line shaking their heads and shrugging their shoulders because there's just nothing they can do to stop him. The fact that he's able to pop so much while being a part-time player on the deepest, most talented front 7 in the league is the ultimate testament of how special of a player he already is.    

Honorable Mentions: Devon Witherspoon (Seahawks), Will Anderson (Texans), Brian Branch (Lions)

Top Coach: Dan Campbell (Lions)

After a couple years of fielding scrappy teams that were thorns in the sides of the contenders, Campbell has finally gotten the Lions to a place where they're the contenders. They're currently in control of the NFC North lead by 2 full games, sitting at the #2 seed in the NFC playoff picture and in position to secure their first playoff berth since 2016 and division title since 1993. To put it mildly, it's been a little bit since the last time the Lions were playing at such a high level and they wouldn't be in this prime position if it weren't for Campbell's efforts in gradually building up this team since he arrived in Detroit in 2021.  

Honorable Mentions: DeMeco Ryans (Texans), Mike McDaniel (Dolphins), Mike Tomlin (Steelers)

Top Comeback Player: Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

Following a 2022 season in which he suffered 3 concussions in less than 2 months, nobody would've blamed Tagovailoa for wanting to protect his health by retiring from football. Tagovailoa elected to return to the field in 2023 and now, he's enjoying the best season of his career. He's even in the MVP conversation at the halfway point! Let's hope that he can maintain his health in the back-half of the season and continue to dazzle fans with his stellar play. 

Honorable Mentions: Chase Young (Commanders/49ers), Breece Hall (Jets), Rashan Gary (Packers)

All-Pro Teams

Quarterback:

1st team: Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

2nd team: Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

Running Back:

1st team: Christian McCaffery (49ers), Raheem Mostert (Dolphins)

2nd team: Derrick Henry (Titans), Kenneth Walker III (Seahawks)

Wide Receiver:

1st team: A.J. Brown (Eagles), Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

2nd team: Stefon Diggs (Bills), CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

Tight End:

1st team: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

2nd team: T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

Tackle:

1st team: Christian Darrisaw (Vikings), Penei Sewell (Lions)

2nd team: Jordan Mailata (Eagles), Lane Johnson (Eagles)

Guard:

1st team: Tyler Smith (Cowboys), Kevin Dotson (Rams)

2nd team: Joe Thuney (Chiefs), Chris Lindstrom (Falcons)

Center:

1st team: Jason Kelce (Eagles)

2nd team: Ryan Kelly (Colts)

Defensive End

1st team: Myles Garrett (Browns), Maxx Crosby (Raiders)

2nd team: Trey Hendrickson (Bengals), Micah Parsons (Cowboys)

Defensive Tackle:

1st team: Dexter Lawrence (Giants), Quinnen Williams (Jets)

2nd team: Chris Jones (Chiefs), Aaron Donald (Rams)

Outside Linebacker:

1st team: T.J. Watt (Steelers), Josh Allen (Jaguars)

2nd team: Danielle Hunter (Vikings), Haason Reddick (Eagles)

Inside Linebacker:

1st team: Roaqun Smith (Ravens), DeMario Davis (Saints)

2nd team: Quincy Williams (Jets), C.J. Mosley (Jets)

Cornerback:

1st team: Jaylon Johnson (Bears), Paulson Adebo (Saints)

2nd team: DaRon Bland (Cowboys), Darious Williams (Jaguars)

Safety:

1st team: Jessie Bates III (Falcons), Jevon Holland (Dolphins)

2nd team: Geno Stone (Ravens), Jabrill Peppers (Patriots) 

Kicker:

1st team: Brandon Aubrey (Cowboys)

2nd team: Harrison Butker (Chiefs)

Punter:

1st team: A.J. Cole (Raiders)

2nd team: Michael Dickson (Seahawks)

Return Specialist:

1st team: Kavontae Turpin (Cowboys)

2nd team: Charlie Jones (Bengals)

Special Teamer:

1st team: Miles Killebrew (Steelers)

2nd team: Brenden Schooler (Patriots)

Playoff and Super Bowl Predictions:

AFC:

1.Chiefs

2.Ravens

3.Dolphins

4.Jaguars

5.Bengals

6.Bills

7.Browns

Wild Card:

Ravens over Browns

Dolphins over Bills

Bengals over Jaguars

Divisional Round:

Chiefs over Bengals

Ravens over Dolphins

Conference Championship:

Chiefs over Ravens

NFC:

1.Eagles

2.Lions

3.49ers

4.Saints

5.Cowboys

6.Seahawks

7.Vikings

Wild Card:

Lions over Vikings

49ers over Seahawks

Cowboys over Saints

Divisional Round:

Eagles over Cowboys

49ers over Lions

Conference Championship:

Eagles over 49ers

Super Bowl:

Chiefs over Eagles

2023 NFL Power Rankings: Week 10

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Philadelphia Eagles (8-1) Week 10 opponent: Bye

2.(2) Kansas City Chiefs (7-2) Week 10 opponent: Bye

3.(4) Baltimore Ravens (7-2) Week 10 opponent: Cleveland Browns

4.(3) Miami Dolphins (6-3) Week 10 opponent: Bye

5.(5) Jacksonville Jaguars (6-2) Week 10 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

6.(11) Cincinnati Bengals (5-3) Week 10 opponent: Houston Texans

7.(7) Detroit Lions (6-2) Week 10 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

8.(8) San Francisco 49ers (5-3) Week 10 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

9.(6) Dallas Cowboys (5-3) Week 10 opponent: New York Giants

10.(12) Cleveland Browns (5-3) Week 10 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

11.(10) Buffalo Bills (5-4) Week 10 opponent: Denver Broncos

12.(9) Seattle Seahawks (5-3) Week 10 opponent: Washington Commanders

13.(14) New Orleans Saints (5-4) Week 10 opponent: Minnesota Vikings 

14.(16) Houston Texans (4-4) Week 10 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

15.(17) Pittsburgh Steelers (5-4) Week 10 opponent: Green Bay Packers

16.(18) Minnesota Vikings (5-4) Week 10 opponent: New Orleans Saints

17.(20) Los Angeles Chargers (4-4) Week 10 opponent: Detroit Lions

18.(15) Atlanta Falcons (4-5) Week 10 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

19.(13) New York Jets (4-4) Week 10 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

20.(22) Indianapolis Colts (4-5) Week 10 opponent: New England Patriots 

21.(23) Washington Commanders (4-5) Week 10 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

22.(19) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-5) Week 10 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

23.(21) Tennessee Titans (3-5) Week 10 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

24.(28) Las Vegas Raiders (4-5) Week 10 opponent: New York Jets

25.(25) Denver Broncos (3-5) Week 10 opponent: Buffalo Bills

26.(24) Los Angeles Rams (3-6) Week 10 opponent: Bye

27.(30) Green Bay Packers (3-5) Week 10 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

28.(27) Chicago Bears (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Carolina Panthers

29.(29) New England Patriots (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

30.(26) New York Giants (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

31.(31) Carolina Panthers (1-7) Week 10 opponent: Chicago Bears

32.(32) Arizona Cardinals (1-8) Week 10 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

Week 9 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2023 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: C.J. Stroud (Texans)

Stroud has played well most weeks, but Sunday against the Bucs was his first true "holy shit" performance in the pros. The rookie QB was nothing short of magnificent as he carved up the Bucs defense for 470 YDS, 5 TDS and a 2 PT CNV in an insane comeback win for the Texans. If he wasn't on your QB1 radar already, he sure as hell deserves to be now.

Honorable Mentions: Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Josh Allen (Bills)

LVP: Justin Herbert (Chargers)

Herbert was relegated to game manager status (136 YDS, 0 TD's or turnovers, 17 Rushing YDS) as his defense, special teams and Austin Ekeler got all the glory in a big win over the Jets last night. He'll look to contribute more in the passing game against the Lions this Sunday.

Dishonorable Mentions: Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins), Geno Smith (Seahawks)

Running Back

MVP: Rachaad White (Buccaneers)

White was the star of the Bucs offense in their tough loss to the Texans, turning his 24 touches (20 carries, 4 receptions) into 119 scrimmage YDS and 2 TD's on the ground. While his yardage totals will fluctuate due to how poor the Bucs run blocking is, his pass-catching prowess and status as the uncontested starting RB in Tampa have made him a high-floor RB2 option over the past few weeks. That being said, he could have a tough time meaningfully contributing this week versus the Titans tough front 7.    

Honorable Mentions: Josh Jacobs (Raiders), Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots), Austin Ekeler (Chargers)

LVP: Kenneth Walker III (Seahawks)

The Ravens blowing the f'n doors off the Seahawks and completely shutting down the run game grounded Walker in a big way as he only picked up 17 total YDS (16 rushing, 1 receiving) on 10 touches. Walker will look to get back to his reliable RB1 ways against the Commanders in Week 10.

Dishonorable Mentions: Bijan Robinson (Falcons), Zack Moss (Colts), James Cook (Bills)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

Outside of a hilarious, unfortunate fumble on the Cowboys ill-conceived Hail Mary-esque play on the final play from scrimmage, Lamb was unstoppable against the Eagles. No matter what coverage they threw at him, Lamb blew through it as he picked up 11 receptions for a career-high 191 YDS. Lamb gets another plus divisional matchup in Week 10 when the reeling Giants head to AT&T Stadium. 

Honorable Mentions: Amari Cooper (Browns), Stefon Diggs (Bills), Diontae Johnson (Steelers)

LVP: George Pickens (Steelers)

Nobody outside of Diontae Johnson had a good night for the Steelers offense last Thursday night versus the Titans, but nobody went home sadder or madder than Pickens. The 2nd year wideout hauled in just 2 catches and ended the night with a depressing -1 YDS. The recent inability to get Pickens the ball has been alarming and something Matt Canada and Kenny Pickett need to rectify heading into this week's contest with the Packers.

Dishonorable Mentions: Zay Flowers (Ravens), Chris Godwin (Buccaneers), Michael Thomas (Saints)

Tight End

MVP: Dalton Schultz (Texans)

Schultz posted a 10 REC/130 YD/TD line (on the downside, he also lost a fumble) and wasn't even the biggest beneficiary of C.J. Stroud's explosion against the Bucs as Noah Brown somehow managed to outgain him while also finding the endzone and Tank Dell caught a pair of scores. Outside of his Week 8 dud against the Panthers, Schultz has been cooking lately and deserves to be a weekly TE1 start for anybody that doesn't have Kelce, Andrews, Kittle or Hockenson on their rosters. 

Honorable Mentions: Cole Kmet (Bears), Taysom Hill (Saints), Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

LVP: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

The engine of the Chiefs passing attack didn't factor into their win at all on Sunday. Kelce caught just 3 short passes for 14 YDS and managed only 1 other target as the Dolphins forced Patrick Mahomes to find other options in the passing game-which he largely struggled to do outside of their pair of TD drives. While Kelce hasn't quite lived up to his top 10 draft pick status, he's still the best fantasy tight end around and his post-Bye slate starting with the Eagles in Week 11 is soft enough that his managers should expect big things from him during the stretch run.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Tyler Higbee (Rams), Trey McBride (Cardinals), Gerald Everett (Chargers)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Chargers 

In a winnable primetime spot where the Chargers are liable to implode, their D/ST showed up in a big way and prevented disaster from striking. They picked up a ridiculous 8 sacks, forced 3 fumbles and kicked the game off with a huge punt return TD from Derius Davis in an easy 27-6 win on MNF. The Bolts D/ST will go right back to being unusable in fantasy for their Week 10 tilt with the turnover-averse Lions offense and their terrific offensive line. 

Honorable Mentions: Browns, Raiders, Ravens

LVP: Bills

The Bills big return to Cincinnati didn't go as well as they had hoped. Their defense allowed 24 points, got just 1 sack and forced zero turnovers as the Bengals gave them the business on Sunday Night Football. A visit from the Broncos in Week 10 could be just what they need to get their morale (and fantasy numbers) back up.

Dishonorable Mentions: Cowboys, Seahawks, Commanders

Quick Movie Reviews: Pain Hustlers, Priscilla, The Holdovers

 Pain Hustlers: By all accounts, 2023 is looking like it's going to be a productive year for Netflix's awards hopefuls as titles like Maestro, Society of the Snow and American Symphony were all warmly received on the fall festival circuit. But considering how many resources they throw into their pursuit of gold trophies, there's bound to be some whiffs along the way-even in a year that appears to have a higher-than-usual hit rate. Opioid Crisis crime flick Pain Hustlers is among those poor doomed souls that failed to achieve their prestige pic aspirations. 

David Yates-who was let out of his Harry Potter comfort zone for the first time since 2014's The Legend of Tarzan-manages to create something kind of unfathomable: A capitalist greed saga that is too innocuous to have much of a perspective on its subject. While not going the somber drama route was probably the right call in the wake of Dopesick's success, electing to make a not particularly comedic or dramatic, surface-level exploration of sleazy assholes getting rich off selling an addictive painkiller that they've billed as a baggage-free miracle drug for people dealing with cancer treatments or any form of severe pain is just puzzling. Making a movie about people in the medical industry who made millions of dollars pushing a drug that ripped apart the lives of so many desperate, suffering people that is filled with such pervasive indifference is a clear indictment of how little vision Yates has as a filmmaker. Its starry, magnetic cast headed up by Emily Blunt, Chris Evans and Andy Garcia as the primary drug-pushers, elite production design/makeup work that brings dilapidated strip mall doctor's offices and the low-rent hacks the practice medicine out of them to life with brilliantly scuzzy detail and the inherently interesting hook of a small-time pharmaceutical company suddenly making a ton of money before their newly-formed empire comes crashing down in the blink of an eye are able to elevate things to an extent, but the complacent mediocrity that is being practiced at the top of this project is ultimately just too much to overcome.       

Grade: C+

Priscilla: Releasing Priscilla a little over a year after Elvis is pretty much the perfect unintentional artistic rebuttal. Where Baz Luhrmann's film (mostly) distilled Elvis Presley's life down to a sparkly fable about his larger-than-life presence as an entertainer and the shady manager that stole his money and got him addicted to drugs, Sofia Coppola made a quiet, grounded film about Priscilla Presley, her relationship with Elvis and how impacted it her life. You'll never guess which film feels like a more balanced portrayal of the Presley's!

What makes Priscilla work is Coppola's ability to naturally transport the viewer into Priscilla's shoes without casting any judgement towards her actions. She understands why Priscilla fell under Elvis' spell, was alright with spending years of her life alone at Graceland while Elvis made movies in Hollywood and toured internationally and eventually, grew sick of the whole charade and left. The streamlined, sequential approach Coppola uses to tell Priscilla's story provides an almost-real time look at her evolution that values her humanity and agency over showmanship and glamour at every turn, which makes the whole thing feel like an equally intoxicating and horrifying snapshot of her life with Elvis. Coppola has not been this locked in as a writer/director since Lost in Translation and it was awesome to see her at the top of her game after all the up-and-downs her career has been through in the past two decades. 

As for the stars, Cailee Spaeny and Jacob Elordi do tremendous work as Priscilla and Elvis. Spaeny nails Priscilla's transformation from naïve isolated teenager who met and fell in love with Elvis before she got the opportunity to really discover who she is to a grown woman who finally gets the courage to blaze her own trail after years of being manipulated and taken advantage of by Elvis while Elordi perfectly balances Presley's signature charm and magnetism with the insecure, controlling man that existed underneath his shiny exterior. Their performances are exactly what Coppola's simple, human approach to this story called for and a big part of why it worked so well. While I'm far too early in my awards movie journey for 2023 to make definitive declarations about any category, Coppola, Spaeny and Elordi at least deserve strong consideration for their efforts in helping make this film so great.     

Grade: B+

The Holdovers: The Holdovers is sort of a back-to-basics exercise for Alexander Payne after the massive critical and commercial failure of Downsizing. This 70's-set Christmas dramedy about an ornery hardass teacher (Paul Giamatti), a cook (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) whose grieving the recent loss of her son in Vietnam and rebellious teenager (newcomer Dominic Sessa) who are forced to spend their holiday break together at a Massachusetts bordering school while the rest of their fellow peers and students have left to spend time with their families is exactly the type of straightforward, character-driven movie that helped Payne rise to prominence. And quite frankly, it's the best one he's ever made.

There's nothing about The Holdovers that's particularly unexpected or revolutionary, it's just a story about lonely, broken people developing an unlikely bond at a time of year where it hurts the most to be sad and alone that's handled incredibly well. The arcs for all three leads as well as the development of their relationship are compelling, believable and driven by a real connection, the performances are all incredible as each performer knows what notes they need to hit in each given scene (Sessa's work is particularly impressive as he had never acted in anything but school stage productions prior to this) and the ending manages to be warm without disregarding the unfair fragility of the ecosystem that these characters operate in. Movies like The Holdovers are an increasingly rare breed these days, which is why it was particularly delightful to watch something that uses humor, heart and shared humanity to earn its status as a crowdpleaser. It opens nationwide this Thursday night and I highly recommend you go check it out ASAP.        

Grade: A

Paul Giamatti Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Paul Giamatti-whose latest project "The Holdovers" is in select theaters now and opens nationwide on November 10th. 

Paul Giamatti's Filmography Ranked:

25.Planet of the Apes (D)

24.Big Momma's House (D+)

23.San Andreas (D+)

22.The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (C-)

21.Confidence (C)

20.Parkland (C)

19.Dr. Doolittle (C)

18.Love & Mercy (C)

17.Robots (C+)

16.Big Fat Liar (C+)

15.Lady in the Water (C+)

14.Jungle Cruise (B-)

13.The Hangover Part II (B-)

12.Private Life (B)

11.12 Years a Slave (B)

10.Win Win (B)

9.The Ides of March (B)

8.Gunpowder Milkshake (B)

7.The Truman Show (B)

6.Donnie Brasco (B)

5.Sideways (B)

4.John Dies at the End (B+)

3.Shoot 'Em Up (B+)

2.Straight Outta Compton (A)

1.Saving Private Ryan (A)

Top Dog: Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Emotional, brutal and breathtaking from a technical filmmaking standpoint, Saving Private Ryan is an essential war film that ranks among the biggest triumphs of Steven Spielberg's storied career. 

Bottom Feeder: Planet of the Apes (2001)

I'm not overly romantic about the original Planet of the Apes or anything, but good lord did Tim Burton's remake provide a massive stain on its legacy. This aloof, boring mess is a completely irredeemable movie that emits a potent stink which has only become more pronounced since the trilogy helmed by Rupert Wyatt and Matt Reeves in the 2010's came out and proved that this franchise still has some juice left.

Most Underrated: Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

Outside of Crank and possibly Hardcore Henry, Shoot 'Em Up is the closest anyone has come to making a hard-R, 100% live action Looney Tunes feature. The way this shit just explodes onto the scene armed with a company of actors (Clive Owen, Monica Bellucci, Giamatti, Stephen McHattie) ready to put on an absolute clinic in zany overacting, truckloads of bullets and enough caffeine to power a zillion all-nighters is just magnificent to behold and that remarkable commitment to the beautifully demented art that is over-the-top B-action filmmaking is exactly why it's such an exhilarating piece of work.  

Most Overrated: Love & Mercy (2015)

Count me as one of the miserable few who wasn't in awe of Love & Mercy. While the performances from both John Cusack and Paul Dano as Beach Boys frontman Brian Wilson are pretty great, the film is too sluggishly-paced and clunky with its time jumps to paint the sensitive, lyrical portrait of Wilson's life it aims to create.  

2023 NFL Power Rankings: Week 9

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(2) Philadelphia Eagles (7-1) Week 9 opponent: Dallas Cowboys 

2.(1) Kansas City Chiefs (6-2) Week 9 opponent: Miami Dolphins

3.(4) Miami Dolphins (6-2) Week 9 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

4.(5) Baltimore Ravens (6-2) Week 9 opponent: Seattle Seahawks 

5.(6) Jacksonville Jaguars (6-2) Week 9 opponent: Bye

6.(7) Dallas Cowboys (5-2) Week 9 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles 

7.(8) Detroit Lions (6-2) Week 9 opponent: Bye 

8.(3) San Francisco 49ers (5-3) Week 9 opponent: Bye

9.(10) Seattle Seahawks (5-2) Week 9 opponent: Baltimore Ravens 

10.(11) Buffalo Bills (5-3) Week 9 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals 

11.(12) Cincinnati Bengals (4-3) Week 9 opponent: Buffalo Bills

12.(9) Cleveland Browns (4-3) Week 9 opponent: Arizona Cardinals 

13.(17) New York Jets (4-3) Week 9 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers 

14.(19) New Orleans Saints (4-4) Week 9 opponent: Chicago Bears

15.(14) Atlanta Falcons (4-4) Week 9 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

16.(13) Houston Texans (3-4) Week 9 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

17.(15) Pittsburgh Steelers (4-4) Week 9 opponent: Tennessee Titans 

18.(18) Minnesota Vikings (4-4) Week 9 opponent: Atlanta Falcons 

19.(16) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-4) Week 9 opponent: Houston Texans

20.(20) Los Angeles Chargers (3-4) Week 9 opponent: New York Jets

21.(24) Tennessee Titans (3-4) Week 9 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers 

22.(22) Indianapolis Colts (3-5) Week 9 opponent: Carolina Panthers

23.(23) Washington Commanders (3-5) Week 9 opponent: New England Patriots 

24.(21) Los Angeles Rams (3-5) Week 9 opponent: Green Bay Packers

25.(29) Denver Broncos (3-5) Week 9 opponent: Bye

26.(25) New York Giants (2-6) Week 9 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

27.(26) Chicago Bears (2-6) Week 9 opponent: New Orleans Saints

28.(27) Las Vegas Raiders (3-5) Week 9 opponent: New York Giants

29.(28) New England Patriots (2-6) Week 9 opponent: Washington Commanders

30.(30) Green Bay Packers (2-5) Week 9 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

31.(32) Carolina Panthers (1-6) Week 9 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

32.(31) Arizona Cardinals (1-7) Week 9 opponent: Cleveland Browns