Brad Pitt Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Brad Pitt-whose latest project "F1" opens in theaters Thursday. 

Brad Pitt's Filmography Ranked:

29.The Tree of Life (F)

28.Ocean's Twelve (D-)

27.The Counselor (D+)

26.Allied (C-)

25.The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (C-)

24.Killing Them Softly (C-)

23.Mr. & Mrs. Smith (C)

22.Burn After Reading (C+)

21.Megamind (B-)

20.Fury (B-)

19.The Lost City (B)

18.Kalifornia (B)

17.World War Z (B)

16.12 Years a Slave (B)

15.Ad Astra (B)

14.Thelma & Louise (B)

13.Ocean's Thirteen (B+)

12.12 Monkeys (B+)

11.The Big Short (B+)

10.Bullet Train (B+)

9.Babylon (B+)

8.Seven (A-)

7.True Romance (A-)

6.Moneyball (A)

5.Ocean's Eleven (A)

4.Inglorious Basterds (A)

3.Once Upon a Time in Hollywood... (A)

2.Snatch (A+)

1.Fight Club (A+)

Top Dog: Fight Club (1999)

As great as Seven is, I think Fight Club is the film where David Fincher really became the filmmaking legend that he is known as today. Fight Club doesn't just beautifully capture the tricky darkly comedic tone and biting takedown of toxic masculinity that drives Chuck Palahniuk's novel, it has sharper teeth and more laughs than its brilliant source material. This would've been brutally butchered in the hands of most directors, so it's really a miracle that Fincher was the one who ended up handling the adaptation.    

Bottom Feeder: The Tree of Life (2011)

Many of the movies the I considered to be the worst I've ever seen are films with high artistic ambitions. There's just something that I find to be really obnoxious and grating about movies that masquerade as having something to profound to say, but at the end of the day, are more about the director stroking their ego than delivering a story that has any real weight behind it. With the possible exception of Alfonso Cuaron's Roma, no film has embodied this tiny sliver of the cinematic landscape better than The Tree of Life. It took no more than 20 minutes for me to begin losing my mind over the seemingly endless parade of naval-gazing trash that Terrence Malick put into this non-linear wankfest that ponders what the up-and-down life of an ordinary American family (Pitt, Jessica Chastain, Hunter McCracken, Tye Sheridan, Laramie Eppler) circa the 1950/60's means in the grand scheme of this centuries-old planet we call Earth. Being exposed to Sean Penn's-who plays the present day (2010) version of McCraken's character-droning voiceovers, the seemingly endless supply of unbroken nature shots that appear damn near every time the camera leaves the O'Brien family home and countless arguments between Pitt and Chastain had me on the verge of having a mental breakdown by the end of this grueling 139-minute feature. If presented with the choice of watching The Tree of Life again or sawing one of my arms off, I'd think long and hard about the pros and cons of going through life with one arm.      

Most Underrated: Ocean's Thirteen (2007)

While I considered going with Damien Chazelle's polarizing, misunderstood Hollywood takedown/love letter Babylon here, the film has gained such a strong cult following among cinephiles that calling it underrated feels a bit disingenuous. This left only one real strong choice among the films in Pitt's filmography that I've seen: Ocean's Thirteen. The finale of Steven Soderbergh's caper trilogy took the series back to its slick, effective heist comedy basics after the uh, experimental failure of Ocean's Twelve and what do you know, the Hollywood blockbuster magic that drove the first installment came rushing back. It's nearly as cool as Ocean's Eleven, Al Pacino has a blast chewing up the scenery as the dickhead casino baron who becomes the latest target of our lovable thief heroes and the execution of the big heist/scheme in the final act is impeccable. When WB inevitably returns to the Ocean's well within the next 5-10 years, I'll be crossing my fingers that they can at least get back to this level (Ocean's 8 is a worthy addition to the franchise, it just didn't match the juice that this one and Ocean's Eleven have).     

Most Overrated: The Tree of Life (2011)

Given the muted reception to the 5 films (To the Wonder, Knight of Cups, Song to Song, Voyage of Time, A Hidden Life) he's released since and the seemingly eternal post-production process of his 11th film The Way of the Wind, The Tree of Life will be in all likelihood be the last time that Terrence Malick-who will turn 82 in late November-has a film be nominated for Best Picture. If I was a time traveler who decided to misuse this perpetually coveted piece of hypothetical technology to establish the least harmful, lowest stakes dictatorship in the history of the world by installing myself as the sole Oscar voter, I would begin my regime in the fall of 2011 in order to ensure that The Thin Red Line was Malick's most recent Oscar nominated film. Fuck The Tree of Life!!!!!!