Tom Cruise Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Tom Cruise, whose latest project "Top Gun: Maverick" opens in theaters tomorrow.  

Tom Cruise's Filmography Ranked:

26.Rain Man (D)

25.Mission-Impossible 2 (C-)

24.Jack Reacher (C-)

23.Cocktail (C)

22.Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (C)

21.The Mummy (C+)

20.Knight and Day (C+)

19.The Last Samurai (B-)

18.American Made (B-)

17.Days of Thunder (B-)

16.Collateral (B-)

15.Minority Report (B-)

14.Top Gun (B-)

13.Eyes Wide Shut (B-)

12.Risky Business (B-) 

11.Mission-Impossible: Rogue Nation (B)

10.Jerry Maguire (B)

9.Oblivion (B)

8.Mission-Impossible (B)

7.Mission-Impossible III (B)

6.The Outsiders (B)

5.War of the Worlds (B+) 

4.Mission-Impossible: Ghost Protocol (B+)

3.Tropic Thunder (B+)

2.Mission-Impossible: Fallout (B+)

1.Edge of Tomorrow (aka Live, Die, Repeat) (B+)

Top Dog: Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

While it's far from the only great blockbuster Cruise has toplined, sci-fi action flick Edge of Tomorow is the most subversive one he's ever been part of. Cruise plays a cowardly military PR officer that is forced onto the frontlines ahead of a major battle in France against an invading alien race known as Mimics, the most celebrated solider that holds the key to defeating the Mimics is a woman (Emily Blunt) who has to extensively train Cruise's character before he can become a hero and despite having a time loop-driven narrative, the film uses a pragmatic, trial-and-error approach that prevents the scenes from unfolding in the same way each time the day resets-particularly in the latter stages of the film. The unpredictability, intelligence and wit that subversion brings out is what makes Edge of Tomorrow such an entertaining ride.      

Bottom Feeder: Rain Man (1988)

Rain Man tells the story of an egotistical jackass (Cruise) that runs a sketchy, cash-strapped luxury car sales operation out of an airplane hangar in Souther California who is disgusted, confused and infuriated by the autistic brother (Dustin Hoffmann) that his father left his entire fortune to until he demonstrates the ability to masterfully count cards in Vegas and helps him win enough money to pay off his debts and continue his business. To put it mildly, the tearjerker "Actually, I love my brother very much!!!" ending that soon follows the Vegas scene is unearned and exceptionally phony.  

Most Underrated: War of the Worlds (2005)

The relative lack of respect War of the Worlds receives in the pantheon of Steven Spielberg blockbusters remains stunning to me. Is it because it wasn't a cute, whimsical alien movie like E.T. or Close Encounters of the Third Kind? The fact that Cruise jumped on the couch on Oprah during the press tour? A refusal to accept Miranda Otto in a role that was outside of the Lord of the Rings trilogy? While the ending definitely could've been a bit better, War of the Worlds is a spectacle-heavy blockbuster that boasts a vintage charismatic Cruise performance, an ample amount of suspense and CGI that has aged really well. 

Most Overrated: Rain Man (1988)

This boring, emotionally manipulative melodrama winning Best Picture is a peak representation of the Academy's long-standing tradition of giving out their top prize to the most shameless piece of awards-baiting trash in the field.  

Top Killer of An Entire Planned Franchise: The Mummy (2017)

The string of connected monster movie reboots (Frankenstein, The Invisible Man, The Wolfman, Dracula) known as "The Dark Universe" that Universal had planned on building until The Mummy faceplanted its way to $80 mil at the domestic box office (Absurd fact: its $140.7 mil opening internationally remains the highest of Cruise's career) is an infamous failure that the film community has regularly lampooned and memed for the past 5 years. As for The Mummy itself, I don't think its anywhere near as bad as its reputation. It's one of those disjointed, directionless and blatantly meddled with major studio messes that is so relentlessly dumb that it's kind of fun to watch. If the entire Dark Universe was just Cruise talking to zombie Jake Johnson, sick yet completely random plane stunts and Universal jamming iconic monsters that have nothing to do with the movie's titular monster into the plot for some inexplicable reason, I would've happily watched 1 of these stupid fucking movies every few years. 

Most Unexpected Use of Cruise: Tropic Thunder (2008)

The odds of Cruise doing something like Tropic Thunder ever again are pretty much zero. I'm not just talking about his actual scene-stealing role as the bald, foul-mouthed studio executive Les Goodman either, Cruise is at a point in his career where he seems to have no interest in taking on unannounced supporting roles (which is why the false rumors of him making cameo as an alternate version of Iron Man in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness were so hard to believe). After The Mummy and Rock of Ages tanked, Cruise shifted his focus to big action projects that revolve around his magnetism, daredevil stuntwork and passion for blockbuster filmmaking and as long as this arrangement continues to make him happy (and a boatload of money), that stance isn't going to change until he reaches the point where his body prevents him from doing that kind of work.