John Turturro Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of John Turturro-whose latest project "The Only Living Pickpocket in New York" is now playing in select theaters and expands nationwide today.

John Turturro's Filmography Ranked:

23.Exodus: Gods and Kings (D-)

22.You Don't Mess with the Zohan (D+)

21.Anger Management (D+)

20.Transformers: The Last Knight (C-)

19.Cars 2 (C-)

18.Gloria Bell (C-)

17.Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (C)

16.Fading Gigolo (B-)

15.The Room Next Door (B-)

14.Hands of Stone (B-)

13.Transformers: Dark of the Moon (B-)

12.Transformers (B-)

11.Mr. Deeds (B)

10.The Taking of Pelham 123 (B)

9.Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (B) 

8.Landline (B)

7.Quiz Show (B)

6.He Got Game (B)

5.The Big Lebowski (B+)

4.O Brother, Where Art Thou? (B+)

3.Rounders (A-)

2.The Batman (A+)

1.Do the Right Thing (A+)

Top Dog: Do the Right Thing (1989)

Spike Lee's magnum opus is one of the most blistering and potent portrayals of race relations in the United States ever committed to screen. It would be awesome if the day arrived where this movie became an artifact of a bygone era, but that's definitely wishful thinking, if not full-blown delusion at this point in time. 

Bottom Feeder: Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)

It's a testament to the clout that Ridley Scott holds in the industry that his career didn't stall for a second after this gigantic piece of shit lost 20th Century Fox boatloads of money. This movie is such a listless slog that even the battle scenes play like a nursing home potluck, At least the talented but largely woefully miscast ensemble led by Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton and Turturro got a trip to Spain out of this rotten affair. 

Most Underrated: Landline (2017)

Gillian Robespierre got unfairly demoted to TV director mercenary hell after Landline failed to replicate the success of her previous feature Obvious Child and has remained there ever since. While I do slightly prefer Obvious Child, this is still a funny, smart and well-acted slice of life movie about a family (Jenny Slate, Abby Quinn, Edie Falco, Turturro) that begins to implode when they discover that the patriarch is having an affair. Hopefully, Robespierre is liberated from the TV ranks and gets to make another movie at some point in the near future.

Most Overrated: Transformers (2007)

My 15-year-old self would be absolutely disgusted with how I feel about Transformers now. A rewatch in 2023 ahead of the release of Transformers: Rise of the Beasts left me stunned to discover that this movie devotes much more time to convoluted mythology/worldbuilding than robots smashing the shit out of each other. Honestly, I don't even think is notably better than Michael Bay's other "standout" Transformers entry (2011's Dark of the Moon) or the aforementioned Rise of the Beasts and the only reason I'd still say that it's the best entry outside of Bumblebee is the comedy value of this scene. Good luck with your reported new Transformers movie with Bay back at the helm Paramount...