Editor's Note: This post was originally written on August 3rd, but due to the uncertainty surrounding Pittsburgh Steelers tight end Ladarius Green's availability going into the season, I decided to edit and re-post the piece.
Fantasy football pundits and players across the country have a zillion
different strategies that they claim will guarantee you a championship.
Personally, I think a lot of these strategies are horseshit and that
luck can often trump knowledge in this chaotic game. That being said,
one of the only things that I believe is truly essential in the quest
for fantasy football glory is late-round value picks (aka sleepers). Any
asshole can select a productive player in the first few rounds, the
success of your draft is truly determined by the last five or six rounds
when your forced to take chances on under-the-radar, risky veteran or
young, untested players. Getting players that put up excellent numbers
late in the draft isn't a gamble that usually pays off, but when it
does, it often leads to a league championship. Here are the guys that I
believe could end up being the top sleeper picks of 2016.
Quarterback: Derek Carr (Raiders)(Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 103.5 ESPN: 109.2 NFL.com: 110.2)
Carr made tremendous strides in 2015 after a solid rookie season in
2014, putting together a 3,987 YD/31 TD/13 INT campaign that led the
Raiders out of the league's basement and made them one of the most
exciting up-and-coming teams in the NFL. With top receiver Amari Cooper
entering his 2nd season and the addition of Kelechi Osemele in free
agency to an offensive line that was already one of the best in the
league a year ago, there's no reason to believe that Carr can't
significantly up his game yet again this season. Carr's intangibles,
solid arsenal of receiving weapons and comfort level with Bill
Musgrave's system give him a legitimate chance to be a top-tier fantasy
quarterback in 2016.
Honorable Mentions: Jameis Winston (Buccaneers), Andy Dalton (Bengals), Tyrod Taylor (Bills)
Running Back: Duke Johnson Jr. (Browns) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 107.8 ESPN: 82.7 NFL.com: 97.6)
After a top-to-bottom purge of their organization this offseason, the
Browns are in the inevitably painful first season of a rebuilding
process. With a roster full of mostly unproven young talent and cheap,
stopgap veterans, the amount of potential fantasy impact players on the
Browns roster is even lower than usual. One of the few intriguing pieces
they possess is second-year running back Duke Johnson Jr. Johnson
showed flashes of brilliance in a limited role last season and with a
new head coach/offensive coordinator in Hue Jackson that covets the
running game, there's good odds he'll have a more prominent role this
season. With his distinction as a true two-way back in an offense that
is largely devoid of talent, Johnson has a fantastic opportunity to
emerge as this offense's go-to-guy and could prove to be a cheap,
productive option at a position that has a severe lack of depth.
Honorable Mentions: T.J. Yeldon (Jaguars), Jay Ajayi (Dolphins), Paul Perkins (Giants)
Wide Receiver: Marvin Jones (Lions) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 98.0 ESPN: 100.6 NFL.com: 124.8)
Golden Tate my be entrenched as the Lions top receiver now that Calvin
Johnson is retired, but Marvin Jones was brought in free agency to be
utilized as a field-stretching complement to Tate, who is mostly
utilized in the short-passing game. Jones was rock-solid as the number 3
option in the Bengals passing game behind A.J. Green and Tyler Eifert,
putting up 816 YDS and 4 TD's in 2015, and the inevitable increase in
opportunities he's going to get in this pass-happy Lions offense could
very well lead to a career year for the 26-year old receiver.
Honorable Mentions: Sterling Shepard (Giants), Kevin White (Bears), Kamar Aiken (Ravens)
Tight End: Clive Walford (Raiders) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 129.8, ESPN: 170.0) NFL.com: 149.7)
Walford is a very deep sleeper (currently going in-between 3 and 5% of league's on the 3 biggest fantasy sites), but I think he has as much as upside as anyone else on this list. He thrived in limited snaps last season (329 YDS and 3 TD on 28 receptions) and his standing as the projected starting tight end in one of the fastest rising young offenses in the league makes him a logical candidate to enjoy a breakout season in 2016. Walford is a potential very late round gem at the single thinnest position in fantasy football.
Honorable Mentions: Dwayne Allen (Colts), Eric Ebron (Lions), Charles Clay (Bills)
Defense: Oakland Raiders (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 123.2 ESPN: 138.5 NFL.com: 143.6)
The Raiders had the sack (38, tied for 14th in the league) and takeaway
total (25, tied for 12th in the league) of a solid fantasy defense, but
their high points allowed (24.9, 22nd in the league) total made them a
merely average option in 2015. With the additions of outside linebacker
Bruce Irvin, cornerback Sean Smith and safety Reggie Nelson in free
agency and safety Karl Joseph in the draft to a defense that already
featured All-Pro outside linebacker/defensive end Khalil Mack and highly
underrated run-stuffing defensive tackle Dan Williams, the Raiders
don't seem like they're going repeat that high points allowed total
again. They more than likely won't put up Broncos or Seahawks-esque
numbers in most weeks, but their sky-high ceiling and favorable
late-season schedule makes them a great pick for owners that like to
wait until the final few rounds of the draft to select a defense.
Honorable Mentions: Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles, New York Jets
Monday, August 22, 2016
The Best and Worst of Mary Elizabeth Winstead
The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an
actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I
take a look at the filmography of "The Hollars" star Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Films starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead that I've seen:
Death Proof
Live Free or Die Hard
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Thing
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Smashed
A Good Day to Die Hard
The Spectacular Now
Kill the Messenger
10 Cloverfield Lane
Best Performance: Smashed (2012)
During her first seven or eight years in Hollywood, Winstead wasn't really on my radar. I had enjoyed some of the films she starred in (Live Free or Die Hard, Death Proof, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter), but she failed to leave any sort of positive or negative impression on me. That all changed when I saw the criminally underappreciated indie drama Smashed in the spring of 2013. Winstead's portrayal of an elementary school teacher who is battling severe alcoholism is heartbreaking, emphatic and alarmingly authentic. Her powerhouse performance here showcased a remarkable level of talent that had somehow been buried for years and she has since gone onto become one of the most reliably impressive actresses in Hollywood.
Worst Performance: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
This is yet another case of a poor performance primarily caused by the script and not the actor itself. Winstead plays Ramona Flowers, the mysterious yet enchanting Amazon.ca delivery girl that Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) can only date if he defeats her eight evil ex-lovers in combat, who serves as more of plot device than a fully fleshed-out character. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is full of flaws, but the poor development of its female lead and subsequent underwhelming performance from Winstead is near the top of the list.
Best Film: The Spectacular Now (2013)
Audiences are treated to at least a half-dozen indie, coming-of-age films each year, but there aren't many that are as well-done as James Ponsoldt's The Spectacular Now. The Spectacular Now makes up for its well-worn premise (a popular high school senior boy falls in love with the misunderstood, quiet girl) with phenomenal acting from its primary cast (Miles Teller, Shailene Woodley, Winstead, Brie Larson, Kyle Chandler) and a level of heart and realism that you typically don't find in these films. Without question, one of my favorite films of the 2010's far.
Worst Film: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Unlike most long-running franchises, the Die Hard series maintained a remarkable level of consistency over multiple decades. 1988's Die Hard, 1990's Die Hard 2: Die Harder, 1995's Die Hard with a Vengeance and 2007's Live Free or Die Hard are all damn near-perfect action films that are funny, clever and highly entertaining. Then A Good Day to Die Hard came along and brought the franchise's hot streak to a screeching halt with a film that didn't come anywhere close to capturing the spirit and fun of the earlier films. The action scenes were completely forgettable, Jai Courtney was flat-out abysmal as John McClane's son and worst of all, Bruce Willis displayed almost none of John McClane's trademark charisma and snark. Shout-out to Skip Woods, John Moore and whatever dingus at 20th Century Fox that greenlit this film for tarnishing the legacy of Hollywood's greatest action franchise with a half-assed and completely unnecessary sequel that went against everything that made the Die Hard films great.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Morgan" star Brian Cox.
Films starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead that I've seen:
Death Proof
Live Free or Die Hard
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Thing
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Smashed
A Good Day to Die Hard
The Spectacular Now
Kill the Messenger
10 Cloverfield Lane
Best Performance: Smashed (2012)
During her first seven or eight years in Hollywood, Winstead wasn't really on my radar. I had enjoyed some of the films she starred in (Live Free or Die Hard, Death Proof, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter), but she failed to leave any sort of positive or negative impression on me. That all changed when I saw the criminally underappreciated indie drama Smashed in the spring of 2013. Winstead's portrayal of an elementary school teacher who is battling severe alcoholism is heartbreaking, emphatic and alarmingly authentic. Her powerhouse performance here showcased a remarkable level of talent that had somehow been buried for years and she has since gone onto become one of the most reliably impressive actresses in Hollywood.
Worst Performance: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
This is yet another case of a poor performance primarily caused by the script and not the actor itself. Winstead plays Ramona Flowers, the mysterious yet enchanting Amazon.ca delivery girl that Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) can only date if he defeats her eight evil ex-lovers in combat, who serves as more of plot device than a fully fleshed-out character. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is full of flaws, but the poor development of its female lead and subsequent underwhelming performance from Winstead is near the top of the list.
Best Film: The Spectacular Now (2013)
Audiences are treated to at least a half-dozen indie, coming-of-age films each year, but there aren't many that are as well-done as James Ponsoldt's The Spectacular Now. The Spectacular Now makes up for its well-worn premise (a popular high school senior boy falls in love with the misunderstood, quiet girl) with phenomenal acting from its primary cast (Miles Teller, Shailene Woodley, Winstead, Brie Larson, Kyle Chandler) and a level of heart and realism that you typically don't find in these films. Without question, one of my favorite films of the 2010's far.
Worst Film: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Unlike most long-running franchises, the Die Hard series maintained a remarkable level of consistency over multiple decades. 1988's Die Hard, 1990's Die Hard 2: Die Harder, 1995's Die Hard with a Vengeance and 2007's Live Free or Die Hard are all damn near-perfect action films that are funny, clever and highly entertaining. Then A Good Day to Die Hard came along and brought the franchise's hot streak to a screeching halt with a film that didn't come anywhere close to capturing the spirit and fun of the earlier films. The action scenes were completely forgettable, Jai Courtney was flat-out abysmal as John McClane's son and worst of all, Bruce Willis displayed almost none of John McClane's trademark charisma and snark. Shout-out to Skip Woods, John Moore and whatever dingus at 20th Century Fox that greenlit this film for tarnishing the legacy of Hollywood's greatest action franchise with a half-assed and completely unnecessary sequel that went against everything that made the Die Hard films great.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Morgan" star Brian Cox.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Concert Review: blink-182-- Mansfield, MA-- August 19th, 2016
Lineup: blink-182/A Day to Remember/All Time Low
Venue: Xfinity Center, Mansfield, MA
Date: August 19th, 2016
All Time Low: I got to my seats when they were already a few songs into their set. I have a pretty low (no pun intended) opinion of the limited material I've heard by them, but they were not nearly as annoying or whiny live as I remember them being on disc. At the very least, All Time Low prevented me from having to see The All American Rejects (they were the opener for the first half of this tour) and for that, I'll be forever thankful.
A Day to Remember: Just like the last time I saw blink-182 back in 2011, my primary reason for attending this show was the direct support band. A Day to Remember has been near the top of my "bands I need to see live" list for several years and given their tendency to tour with bands that I absolutely despise (Pierce the Veil, Of Mice & Men, Motionless in White, many others), I jumped at the chance to see them on a bill with a solid lineup.
Thankfully, A Day to Remember tdidn't fall short of my sky-high expectations. Their setlist did a good job of blending heavier material to please their own fanbase with a number of accessible cuts to avoid alienating the audience members that were there exclusively for blink and vocalist Jeremy McKinnon was a rowdy frontman who seemed to be right at home on a huge stage. There was some slight issues with McKinnon's vocals at times (primarily on some of the higher notes of "Right Back at It Again" and the screams during the verses of "I'm Made of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?) and I could have done without the abundance of material from their mediocre 2010 album What Separates Me From You, but it was still a very satisfying performance from the pop punk/metalcore juggernauts.
blink-182: August 9th, 2011 is a day that I have reminisced on ad nauseam over the past five years. That date is significant because it marked the first time I saw blink-182 and I can say without hesitation that it is the single worst day of life so far that didn't involve the death of a loved one. The events that occurred before, during and after the show made for an unprecedented shitshow that I will continue to bitch about until my petty, loud-mouthed ass has left this hellhole otherwise known as Earth.
Here are the riveting cliffnotes on why that show was a scarring, miserable experience:
-My friend's super considerate girlfriend forced my other 5 friends and I to delay our departure time by 4 hours. By the time we actually left around 6:00, the traffic was so bad that we came within minutes of missing the start of My Chemical Romance's-the main band a few of us came to see-set.
-The crowd was full of super drunk, douchey bros more fixated on fighting one another than watching the show.
-It rained at a monsoon-like level for the entirety of blink's set.
-blink-182 pissed all over my inner teenager's dreams with a very lackluster performance. James Harden puts in more effort on the defensive side of the floor on a nightly basis than blink did into their performance on that fateful evening.
-After spending a solid hour and a half being stuck in traffic (for people who have never been to this venue, this is a staple of the wonderful Xfinity Center. I'm firmly convinced that their parking lot was designed by Tyrone Biggums and several of his closest, pipe-hitting friends), my friend's demonic girlfriend refused to order Wendy's for the people in the car that I was in WHILE THEY WERE 1 CAR AWAY FROM ORDERING IN A 30+ CAR DEEP LINE. The soul-crushing feeling of being denied a Crispy Chicken Sandwich when you're hungry as fuck at 1:00 am because of the selfishness of another person is something that I hope you fine people never have to experience.
Just over five years later, I returned to the Xfinity Center to give the iconic pop punk trio that gave me many a fond memory as an awkward, angst-filled teenager growing up in suburban Massachusetts a shot at redemption. The concert gods must've taken note of my suffering because this show was the complete opposite of the previous time I saw blink-182.
I had been theorizing for months that Tom Delonge-who left the band early last year-was the catalyst for blink-182's disappointing live show back in 2011 and that hypothesis turned out to be spot-on. The band I saw five years ago that looked like they were being forced to perform together at gunpoint was replaced by one that had excellent chemistry and appeared to be having a blast on stage. The staggering improvement in quality of their live performance served a powerful reminder of the effect a member change can have on the well-being and musical tightness of a band.
It also helps that bassist/vocalist and drummer Travis Barker decided to bring in a proven, veteran vocalist in Alkaline Trio frontman/guitarist Matt Skiba to replace Delonge. Skiba seemed like a puzzling choice on paper due to how drastically different Alkaline Trio's music is from blink's and how much lower his vocals are than Delonge's, but as he proved on their new record California, he's a surprisingly great fit with the band and has allowed them to return to the more uptempo, punk style they utilized on their first four album. After watching him crush the band's Delonge-era material, I'm even more aboard with Skiba's presence in blink-182. He did an excellent job of making the older material his own without taking away from the spirit and tone of the studio versions, which is no easy task when you're replacing the group's founding co-lead vocalist.
The setlist was pretty much exactly the hit-driven collection of songs you'd expect from a veteran band doing their first proper headlining tour in four years, but it was still an extremely satisfying and entertaining 75-minute set that absolutely flew by. The material from California was fun as all hell live and it was pure nostalgic bliss seeing songs like "Dumpweed", "First Date" and "What's My Age Again?" properly played for the first time. With Delonge out of the picture, the newest incarnation of blink-182 have successfully returned to the goofy, fun pop punk force they were in their heyday and gave me a set of new, much rosier memories to associate their live show with.
Scores:
All Time Low 4/10
A Day to Remember 8/10
blink-182 8.5/10
Setlists:
A Day to Remember:
The Downfall of Us All
I'm Made of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?
It's Complicated
2nd Sucks
Right Back at It Again
Have Faith in Me
All Signs Point to Lauderdale
Paranoia
All I Want
If It Means a Lot to You
The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle
blink-182:
Feeling This
What's My Age Again?
Family Reunion
The Rock Show
Cynical
First Date
Down
I Miss You
Bored to Death
Built This Pool
Dumpweed
Reckless Abandon
Stay Together for the Kids
San Diego
Not Now
Violence
Kings of the Weekend
Dysentery Gary
Happy Holidays, You Bastard
Los Angeles
Encore:
Carousel
All the Small Things
Brohemian Rhapsody
Dammit
Venue: Xfinity Center, Mansfield, MA
Date: August 19th, 2016
All Time Low: I got to my seats when they were already a few songs into their set. I have a pretty low (no pun intended) opinion of the limited material I've heard by them, but they were not nearly as annoying or whiny live as I remember them being on disc. At the very least, All Time Low prevented me from having to see The All American Rejects (they were the opener for the first half of this tour) and for that, I'll be forever thankful.
A Day to Remember: Just like the last time I saw blink-182 back in 2011, my primary reason for attending this show was the direct support band. A Day to Remember has been near the top of my "bands I need to see live" list for several years and given their tendency to tour with bands that I absolutely despise (Pierce the Veil, Of Mice & Men, Motionless in White, many others), I jumped at the chance to see them on a bill with a solid lineup.
Thankfully, A Day to Remember tdidn't fall short of my sky-high expectations. Their setlist did a good job of blending heavier material to please their own fanbase with a number of accessible cuts to avoid alienating the audience members that were there exclusively for blink and vocalist Jeremy McKinnon was a rowdy frontman who seemed to be right at home on a huge stage. There was some slight issues with McKinnon's vocals at times (primarily on some of the higher notes of "Right Back at It Again" and the screams during the verses of "I'm Made of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?) and I could have done without the abundance of material from their mediocre 2010 album What Separates Me From You, but it was still a very satisfying performance from the pop punk/metalcore juggernauts.
blink-182: August 9th, 2011 is a day that I have reminisced on ad nauseam over the past five years. That date is significant because it marked the first time I saw blink-182 and I can say without hesitation that it is the single worst day of life so far that didn't involve the death of a loved one. The events that occurred before, during and after the show made for an unprecedented shitshow that I will continue to bitch about until my petty, loud-mouthed ass has left this hellhole otherwise known as Earth.
Here are the riveting cliffnotes on why that show was a scarring, miserable experience:
-My friend's super considerate girlfriend forced my other 5 friends and I to delay our departure time by 4 hours. By the time we actually left around 6:00, the traffic was so bad that we came within minutes of missing the start of My Chemical Romance's-the main band a few of us came to see-set.
-The crowd was full of super drunk, douchey bros more fixated on fighting one another than watching the show.
-It rained at a monsoon-like level for the entirety of blink's set.
-blink-182 pissed all over my inner teenager's dreams with a very lackluster performance. James Harden puts in more effort on the defensive side of the floor on a nightly basis than blink did into their performance on that fateful evening.
-After spending a solid hour and a half being stuck in traffic (for people who have never been to this venue, this is a staple of the wonderful Xfinity Center. I'm firmly convinced that their parking lot was designed by Tyrone Biggums and several of his closest, pipe-hitting friends), my friend's demonic girlfriend refused to order Wendy's for the people in the car that I was in WHILE THEY WERE 1 CAR AWAY FROM ORDERING IN A 30+ CAR DEEP LINE. The soul-crushing feeling of being denied a Crispy Chicken Sandwich when you're hungry as fuck at 1:00 am because of the selfishness of another person is something that I hope you fine people never have to experience.
Just over five years later, I returned to the Xfinity Center to give the iconic pop punk trio that gave me many a fond memory as an awkward, angst-filled teenager growing up in suburban Massachusetts a shot at redemption. The concert gods must've taken note of my suffering because this show was the complete opposite of the previous time I saw blink-182.
I had been theorizing for months that Tom Delonge-who left the band early last year-was the catalyst for blink-182's disappointing live show back in 2011 and that hypothesis turned out to be spot-on. The band I saw five years ago that looked like they were being forced to perform together at gunpoint was replaced by one that had excellent chemistry and appeared to be having a blast on stage. The staggering improvement in quality of their live performance served a powerful reminder of the effect a member change can have on the well-being and musical tightness of a band.
It also helps that bassist/vocalist and drummer Travis Barker decided to bring in a proven, veteran vocalist in Alkaline Trio frontman/guitarist Matt Skiba to replace Delonge. Skiba seemed like a puzzling choice on paper due to how drastically different Alkaline Trio's music is from blink's and how much lower his vocals are than Delonge's, but as he proved on their new record California, he's a surprisingly great fit with the band and has allowed them to return to the more uptempo, punk style they utilized on their first four album. After watching him crush the band's Delonge-era material, I'm even more aboard with Skiba's presence in blink-182. He did an excellent job of making the older material his own without taking away from the spirit and tone of the studio versions, which is no easy task when you're replacing the group's founding co-lead vocalist.
The setlist was pretty much exactly the hit-driven collection of songs you'd expect from a veteran band doing their first proper headlining tour in four years, but it was still an extremely satisfying and entertaining 75-minute set that absolutely flew by. The material from California was fun as all hell live and it was pure nostalgic bliss seeing songs like "Dumpweed", "First Date" and "What's My Age Again?" properly played for the first time. With Delonge out of the picture, the newest incarnation of blink-182 have successfully returned to the goofy, fun pop punk force they were in their heyday and gave me a set of new, much rosier memories to associate their live show with.
Scores:
All Time Low 4/10
A Day to Remember 8/10
blink-182 8.5/10
Setlists:
A Day to Remember:
The Downfall of Us All
I'm Made of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?
It's Complicated
2nd Sucks
Right Back at It Again
Have Faith in Me
All Signs Point to Lauderdale
Paranoia
All I Want
If It Means a Lot to You
The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle
blink-182:
Feeling This
What's My Age Again?
Family Reunion
The Rock Show
Cynical
First Date
Down
I Miss You
Bored to Death
Built This Pool
Dumpweed
Reckless Abandon
Stay Together for the Kids
San Diego
Not Now
Violence
Kings of the Weekend
Dysentery Gary
Happy Holidays, You Bastard
Los Angeles
Encore:
Carousel
All the Small Things
Brohemian Rhapsody
Dammit
Friday, August 19, 2016
The Best and Worst of Jonah Hill
The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an
actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I
take a look at the filmography of "War Dogs" star Jonah Hill.
Films starring Jonah Hill that I've seen:
Grandma's Boy
Accepted
Knocked Up
Evan Almighty
Superbad
Strange Wilderness
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Funny People
Get Him to the Greek
Cyrus
Moneyball
The Sitter
21 Jump Street
The Watch
This is the End
The Wolf of Wall Street
The Lego Movie
22 Jump Street
True Story
Sausage Party
Best Performance: This is the End (2013)
While Hill's dramatic acting turns in Moneyball, The Wolf of Wall Street and True Story have been excellent, comedy is still his strongest suit. Hill's resume is full of impressive turns in some of the funniest movies (Superbad, Get Him to the Greek, 21/22 Jump Street) of the past decade, but his finest moment came in his scathing, over-the-top portrayal of himself in Seth Rogen's apocalypse comedy This is the End. Hill absolutely crushes it as the jaded, fake nice guy whose ego has gone through the roof since landing an Oscar-nomination for Moneyball. In a film full of top-flight comedic talent and non-stop laughs, Hill rose to the occasion to deliver one of the best performances in the entire ensemble cast.
Worst Performance: Cyrus (2010)
I actually hate myself for the criticism I'm about to give about Hill's performance in Cyrus. Hill did exactly what he was called upon to do in the role of a 21-year old man who intentionally sabotages the relationship between his mother (Marissa Tomei) and her new boyfriend (John C. Riley), it just made for a really obnoxious performance. The character is supposed to be immature and grating as all hell, but it got to the point where I would get super pissed every time he showed up on screen. Fuck this character and this movie for making me dislike Hill's acting for no rational reason.
Best Film: Superbad (2007)
I don't keep track of what films have appeared most on this list, but I'm fairly confident that this is at the top of the list. The love I have for this film is only topped by about a dozen or so movies I've ever seen. It's one of those rare films that never gets old and despite the over-the-top situations the main characters get themselves into, it's one of the most honest and hilarious portrayals of high school I've ever seen in a film. Superbad is the greatest teen/coming-of-age/party comedy ever made and it's not even close.
Worst Film: Evan Almighty (2007)
The genius premise (a recently-fired television news reporter is given the chance to be God for a week after complaining that the Almighty wasn't doing his job well) and a number of seriously hilarious moments made Bruce Almighty one of Jim Carrey's last great movies. The sequel Evan Almighty features a similar religious-based plot (a civilian is called upon by God to build a giant ark to save the people in his city from a giant flood) without the clever writing and heart that made its predecessor successful. The visible boredom of the primary cast led by Steve Carrell, Morgan Freeman and John Goodman and the sanitized jokes to try and appeal to family audiences ruined any chance Evan Almighty had of being a worthy sequel.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Hollars" star Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Films starring Jonah Hill that I've seen:
Grandma's Boy
Accepted
Knocked Up
Evan Almighty
Superbad
Strange Wilderness
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Funny People
Get Him to the Greek
Cyrus
Moneyball
The Sitter
21 Jump Street
The Watch
This is the End
The Wolf of Wall Street
The Lego Movie
22 Jump Street
True Story
Sausage Party
Best Performance: This is the End (2013)
While Hill's dramatic acting turns in Moneyball, The Wolf of Wall Street and True Story have been excellent, comedy is still his strongest suit. Hill's resume is full of impressive turns in some of the funniest movies (Superbad, Get Him to the Greek, 21/22 Jump Street) of the past decade, but his finest moment came in his scathing, over-the-top portrayal of himself in Seth Rogen's apocalypse comedy This is the End. Hill absolutely crushes it as the jaded, fake nice guy whose ego has gone through the roof since landing an Oscar-nomination for Moneyball. In a film full of top-flight comedic talent and non-stop laughs, Hill rose to the occasion to deliver one of the best performances in the entire ensemble cast.
Worst Performance: Cyrus (2010)
I actually hate myself for the criticism I'm about to give about Hill's performance in Cyrus. Hill did exactly what he was called upon to do in the role of a 21-year old man who intentionally sabotages the relationship between his mother (Marissa Tomei) and her new boyfriend (John C. Riley), it just made for a really obnoxious performance. The character is supposed to be immature and grating as all hell, but it got to the point where I would get super pissed every time he showed up on screen. Fuck this character and this movie for making me dislike Hill's acting for no rational reason.
Best Film: Superbad (2007)
I don't keep track of what films have appeared most on this list, but I'm fairly confident that this is at the top of the list. The love I have for this film is only topped by about a dozen or so movies I've ever seen. It's one of those rare films that never gets old and despite the over-the-top situations the main characters get themselves into, it's one of the most honest and hilarious portrayals of high school I've ever seen in a film. Superbad is the greatest teen/coming-of-age/party comedy ever made and it's not even close.
Worst Film: Evan Almighty (2007)
The genius premise (a recently-fired television news reporter is given the chance to be God for a week after complaining that the Almighty wasn't doing his job well) and a number of seriously hilarious moments made Bruce Almighty one of Jim Carrey's last great movies. The sequel Evan Almighty features a similar religious-based plot (a civilian is called upon by God to build a giant ark to save the people in his city from a giant flood) without the clever writing and heart that made its predecessor successful. The visible boredom of the primary cast led by Steve Carrell, Morgan Freeman and John Goodman and the sanitized jokes to try and appeal to family audiences ruined any chance Evan Almighty had of being a worthy sequel.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Hollars" star Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Album Review: Rae Sremmurd-SremmLife 2
If SremmLife marked Rae Sremmurd's arrival to the party, SremmLife 2 documents the point where the booze and drugs have fully kicked in and the fun has really started. In other words, SremmLife was merely an appetizer for the level of debauchery and champagne-soaked fun SremmLife 2 offers up. Swae Lee and Slim Jxmmi establish the album's rollicking tone right away with the five-alarm banger of an opening track "Start a Party". The pair deliver spastic verses filled with ridiculous one-liners (ex: "If you don't smoke loud, be quiet!" and "Getting money my favorite sport/Carrera my favorite Porsche) and a flawless "hype" hook behind a beat that is nothing short of incendiary. "Start a Party" kick a stacked seven-strong stretch of the album anchored. The similarly boisterous "Shake It Fast" and "Set the Roof" sees Rae Sremmurd's winning rapport and off-the-charts charisma perfectly complemented by guest spots from party hip-hop legends Juicy J and Lil Jon respectively while "Look Alive" and Kodak Black-assisted "Real Chill" are low-key, grimy tracks that feature some of the best rapping the duo has ever done. The audible amount of Swae and Slim fun are having on the mic on this stretch of the record is contagious as hell and it creates such an entertaining listening atmosphere that I couldn't help but get swept up in it.
Helping Rae Sremmurd cement SremmLife2's livelier. wider-spanning sound is their mentor/label manager/primary producer Mike Will Made It. Mike Will's fingerprints are all over this album as he either produced or co-produced nine of the album's 11 tracks. Per usual, Mike Will's primary mission is to keep the listener on their toes with his work by utilizing a wide variety of beats over the course of the album. He uses everything from oft-kilter piano lines ("By Chance) to rock-tinged keys ("Black Beatles") to suffocating walls of synths, record-scratching and thumping 808's (the aforementioned "Set the Roof", which was a collaboration with DJ Mustard) to amplify and diversify Rae Sremmurd's live-wire sound. Swae and Slim may bring the energy and swagger to the table, but its the tremendous work of Mike Will that makes Rae Sremmurd's hip hop's most unrelenting party powerhouse.
Late missteps aside ("Now That I Know" and especially "Do Yoga" are completely insufferable), SremmLife 2 is every bit of the satisfying sequel I'd hoped it would be. The songwriting is noticeably improved and the chemistry between/colorful personalities of Swae and Slim that made their last record enjoyable is ever better here. I love substantial, thought-provoking hip-hop as much as anyone, but sometimes it's good to just let loose and listen to music that's catchy, engaging and full of good vibes. SremmLife 2 is the perfect high-energy, banger-filled soundtrack to end this (mostly) fun-deprived fun summer on.
3.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Set the Roof (feat. Lil Jon)
2.Start a Party
3.Look Alive
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Movie Review: Sausage Party
Seth Rogen, writing partner Evan Goldberg and their stable of constant collaborators led by Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, James Franco and a host of other hilarious actors have become notorious for making some of the most over-the-top vulgar comedies of all-time. With Sausage Party, they manage to effortlessly blow past the raciness of every other project they've spearheaded over the years. Rogen, Goldberg and fellow co-writers Kyle Hunter and Ariel Shaffir were well aware that the world of animation gave them the freedom to ramp up the vulgarity and made a point to pack the film with content they could never dream of getting away with in a live-action film. The last 20 minutes in particular push the boundaries of the R-rating so far that I can't believe they managed to release this film as is without NC-17 rating attached to it. I can't give too much away with spoiling it, but let's just say that the events depicted in the climax of the film are so twisted and obscene that it makes the most fucked up moments of This is the End look like an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! by comparison. I've always admired Rogen's willingness to test the limits of what's acceptable in American comedies and with Sausage Party, he kicks his love of raunchy humor up to an unprecedented level.
Underneath all of the shock humor and dirty food puns, Sausage Party is a surprisingly sharp and religious allegory. While there are subplots full of less substantial material and frequent lowbrow humor to prevent the film from becoming preachy, the film essentially serves as an argument for the non-existence of God. All of the food products are promised salvation (or as its called in the film "The Great Beyond") if they follow a certain set of rules, only to eventually find out that the "Gods" (humans) really just want to eat or drink them. The film's overlying message isn't one that I necessarily agree with, but it's too cleverly-constructed and intelligent to not appreciate. Rogen and co. don't get enough credit for the subtle depth they put into almost all of their movies and this is without question the deepest and most thought-provoking film they've made to-date.
Sausage Party is a ballsy, insane and sneakily smart film that will more likely either cause you to laugh until you can't breathe or be so god damn repulsed that you'll beg the theater manager for a refund the minute the credits start rolling. It isn't quite as consistently laugh-out-loud funny as The Night Before or the aforementioned This is the End, but it's still an excellent comedy that further cements Rogen's standing as the finest comedic actor of his generation.
4/5 Stars
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
2016 NFL Preview: AFC East
Buffalo Bills
2016 Record: 8-8 (3rd in AFC East)
Head Coach: Rex Ryan (2nd season)
Notable Additions: ILB Zach Brown, RB Reggie Bush, S Robert Blanton
Notable Departures: DE Mario Williams, WR Percy Harvin (retired), OLB Nigel Bradham
Offense:
In a bizarre plot twist, the Bills offense ended up being the team's strength in widely-renowned defensive guru's Rex Ryan's 1st season with the team. The Bills finished 2015 ranked 12th in points per game, 13th in total offense and 1st in rushing offense, despite having their 3 best players (quarterback Tyrod Taylor, running back LeSean McCoy and wide receiver Sammy Watkins) all miss multiple games with injury.
Whether or not the Bills offense can continue to grow in 2016 lies squarely on the shoulders of Taylor. The 27-year old quarterback, who spent his first 4 seasons in the NFL with the Baltimore Ravens as a backup for Joe Flacco, surprised a lot of people in the pro football community with his efficiency (5 INT, 63.7 CMP%), poise under pressure and deadly accurate deep ball in his 1st year as a starter. The team clearly has confidence in Taylor as evidenced by the contract extension they gave last Friday and based on what he showed last season, I firmly believe he has all of the physical and mental tools to be a legitimate franchise quarterback in the NFL. If Taylor can clean up his issues with holding onto the ball for too long and express more confidence in his abilities to use his top-notch speed to escape the pocket when a play breaks down , he should be able to take his game to the next level in 2016.
Any chance Taylor has of progressing this season could potentially end up being derailed by the murkiness surrounding the durability and possible production levels of the offense's other top contributors. McCoy didn't have the impact the organization wanted or expected him to have after acquiring him in a trade with the Eagles before the start of free agency last season. The 4-time Pro Bowl running back sustained numerous minor-to-mild injuries last season (strained hamstring, sprained MCL) and his constantly dinged-up status led to a relatively underwhelming season (1,187 scrimmage yards, 5 TD). Given his age (28) and history of lingering, soft-tissue injuries, it's completely reasonable to think McCoy's play will further decline in 2016. Luckily for the Bills, they have a good enough offensive line and the depth at the position (Karlos Williams, Reggie Bush, Mike Gillislee) to still have a productive running game if McCoy goes down or straight-up flounders this season.
The wide receiver situation is much more concerning. Watkins has looked like every bit of the top wideout he was pegged to be when he came out of Clemson in his NFL career thus far, but he's been constantly banged-up throughout his first 2 years in the league and is just 4 months removed from surgery to repair a broken foot he suffered in the offseason.
If Watkins goes down, the Bills don't appear to have anyone that will be able to make up for his absence. Robert Woods isn't dynamic or reliable enough to be anything more than a 3rd-receving option, rookie Kolby Listenable is a complete mystery at this point in time and the rest of the guys they have (Greg Salas, Greg Little, Leonard Hankerson) are among the biggest laughing stocks in the league at the position. The Bills better pray for Watkins's health because simply can't afford to lose for a sustained period of time this season.
Defense:
After three years of being considered one of the league's premier units, the Bills defense massively regressed in 2015. Outside of a select few players (defensive tackle Marcell Dareus, defensive Jerry Hughes, cornerbacks Stephon Gilmore and Ronald Darby), the core of the Bills defense was mediocre and had a hard time adjusting to Ryan's scheme. As a result of their generally poor play, they plummeted down the defensive ranking list after their highly impressive 2014 campaign, going from 1st to finished 31st in the league in sacks, 3rd to 19th in pass defense and 11th to 16th in rush defense.
While the suddenly limp pass-rush and downgrade in secondary talent outside of their starting outside corners didn't help matters, their horrific linebacker play was the driving force behind their failure as a unit last season. Ryan's defense requires strong, two-way linebacker play to thrive and with the porous play of Preston Brown and the now-retired A.J, Tarpley, they just didn't have that in any capacity last season. If the Bills defense wants to return to the upper echelon of the league in 2016, they're going to have to fix those problems as soon as humanly possible.
Those bounceback efforts took a huge blow when 2nd-round pick and projected starting inside linebacker Reggie Ragland tore his ACL in a training camp on August 5th. With the very promising Ragland out of the picture, free-agent pickup Zach Brown and incumbent starter Preston Brown are now going to be left with the major responsibility of being the 2 guys that aid or derail this unit's comeback attempt. Zach Brown is a decent albeit completely unspectacular player who picked up a fair amount of starting experience (29 starts in 4 seasons) during his tenure with the Titans while Preston Brown is going to have work extremely hard to get back to the level of play he displayed during his rookie season after his disastrous 2015 campaign. It's far from an ideal combo to stick at such a pivotal position in the middle of a defense that's trying to return to form after a rough season, but Brown Squared (trademark pending) are capable of being a solid inside linebacking duo.
The one area where the Bills defense seems poised to improve is in their secondary. Gilmore is entering a contract year and is pretty much bound to play his ass off so he can get a Josh Norman/Richard Sherman-level deal while Darby is in a position to build off his excellent rookie season and prove that he can take over as the team's top corner if Gilmore leaves in free agency after this season. The safety position is a little bit shakier, but the return of solid veteran safety Aaron Williams after missing all but 2 games in 2015 with a neck injury and a year of starting experience for converted slot corner Corey Graham should sure things up after an up-and-down year for the position a year ago.
After three years of being considered one of the league's premier units, the Bills defense massively regressed in 2015. Outside of a select few players (defensive tackle Marcell Dareus, defensive Jerry Hughes, cornerbacks Stephon Gilmore and Ronald Darby), the core of the Bills defense was mediocre and had a hard time adjusting to Ryan's scheme. As a result of their generally poor play, they plummeted down the defensive ranking list after their highly impressive 2014 campaign, going from 1st to finished 31st in the league in sacks, 3rd to 19th in pass defense and 11th to 16th in rush defense.
While the suddenly limp pass-rush and downgrade in secondary talent outside of their starting outside corners didn't help matters, their horrific linebacker play was the driving force behind their failure as a unit last season. Ryan's defense requires strong, two-way linebacker play to thrive and with the porous play of Preston Brown and the now-retired A.J, Tarpley, they just didn't have that in any capacity last season. If the Bills defense wants to return to the upper echelon of the league in 2016, they're going to have to fix those problems as soon as humanly possible.
Those bounceback efforts took a huge blow when 2nd-round pick and projected starting inside linebacker Reggie Ragland tore his ACL in a training camp on August 5th. With the very promising Ragland out of the picture, free-agent pickup Zach Brown and incumbent starter Preston Brown are now going to be left with the major responsibility of being the 2 guys that aid or derail this unit's comeback attempt. Zach Brown is a decent albeit completely unspectacular player who picked up a fair amount of starting experience (29 starts in 4 seasons) during his tenure with the Titans while Preston Brown is going to have work extremely hard to get back to the level of play he displayed during his rookie season after his disastrous 2015 campaign. It's far from an ideal combo to stick at such a pivotal position in the middle of a defense that's trying to return to form after a rough season, but Brown Squared (trademark pending) are capable of being a solid inside linebacking duo.
The one area where the Bills defense seems poised to improve is in their secondary. Gilmore is entering a contract year and is pretty much bound to play his ass off so he can get a Josh Norman/Richard Sherman-level deal while Darby is in a position to build off his excellent rookie season and prove that he can take over as the team's top corner if Gilmore leaves in free agency after this season. The safety position is a little bit shakier, but the return of solid veteran safety Aaron Williams after missing all but 2 games in 2015 with a neck injury and a year of starting experience for converted slot corner Corey Graham should sure things up after an up-and-down year for the position a year ago.
Bottom Line:
If their defense can return to form, offense can continue to make strides and Ryan can keep the team disciplined, the Bills should be able to improve on their 8-8 2015 campaign.
If their defense can return to form, offense can continue to make strides and Ryan can keep the team disciplined, the Bills should be able to improve on their 8-8 2015 campaign.
Miami Dolphins
2016 Record: 6-10 (4th in AFC East)
Head Coach: Adam Gase (1st season)
Notable Additions: DE Mario Williams, RB Arian Foster, CB Byron Maxwell
Notable Departures: DE Olivier Vernon, RB Lamar Miller, CB Brent Grimes
Offense:
After enjoying next-to-no success under the last offensive "guru" they hired (Joe Philbin) as a head coach, the Dolphins decided to bring in another one in former Broncos and Bears offensive coordinator Adam Gase. Gase was the architect of the record-breaking 2013 Broncos offense and his track record of getting the most out of his quarterbacks is proven and very impressive. Gase clearly still has to prove if he has the management skills or proper temperament to be a successful head coach, but he's one of the sharpest offensive minds in the league right now and is easily the most promising head coaching hire the Dolphins have made since at least Dave Wansteadt.
With the exception of having a projected starting unning back in Arian Foster that may or may not be dead and an offensive line that is arguably the worst in the league, Gase has inherited a pretty talented albeit somewhat inconsistent group that could blossom into one of the league's best offenses with the right coaching. Jarvis Landry is one of the best young wideouts in the league and his proficiency in the short passing game make him a perfect fit in Gase's scheme, 2nd-year wide receiver DeVante Parker came on strong late last year after being hampered with a foot injury for the first half of the season and despite breaking his pattern of year-to-year improvement with a mediocre 2015 season, Ryan Tannehill is a talented young quarterback with major upside that can light up an opposing defense any given week. It's going to very interesting to see if Gase can stabilize this unit and establish a level of consistency that alluded Philbin and his staff for the past 4 seasons.
Defense:
I don't know if it's because the football gods frown upon the people of Miami or they just hate how the undefeated 1972 team conducted themselves after they made history, but The Dolphins front office seems to have some kind of unprecedented hex on it. The team's last 3 general managers (Randy Muller, Jeff Ireland, Dennis Hickey) have been responsible for some of the worst big money free agent signings (safety Gibril Wilson, wide receiver Mike Wallace, inside linebacker Dannell Ellerbe) and horrible draft choices (Ted Ginn Jr., Dion Jordan, Pat White) of the past decade. The roster moves made by their recent general managers have been backbreaking and are the main reason the team hasn't been to the playoffs since they took out the Tom Brady-less Patriots for the AFC East crown in 2008.
History repeated itself as the Dolphins tapped their longtime college scouting director Chris Grier to replace Hickey as their general manager. Promoting a man who has played an integral part in the continued failure of your franchise pretty much confirms that Stephen Ross is one of the dumbest owners in the league.
Grier didn't waste anytime royally fucking things up by making a series of head-scratching decisions that basically destroyed the Dolphins defense. He kicked things off before free agency even officially started by acquiring the huge contract of cornerback Byron Maxwell, who spent last season being prominently featured in the highlight tapes of all of the WR's who burned his ass and oft-injured inside linebacker Kiko Alonso from the Eagles. To make the deal even sweeter, the 1st-draft picks they exchanged (the Dolphins received the 13th overall pick and the Eagles received the 8th pick, which they eventually used as part of the deal with the Browns to move up and select quarterback Carson Wentz 2nd overall) in the deal ended up being used to select tackle and gas-mask enthusiast Laremy Tunsil. I'm not a gambling man, but I'd be willing to wager that the history books will show that Eagles general manager Howie Roseman committed one of the greatest salary-dump trades of all-time.
The fun continued when Grier suddenly took the transition tag off of 26-year old defensive end Olivier Vernon to sign 32-year old Mario Williams, who is coming off of the worst season of his career with the Bills and puts another toxic presence into one of the most unstable locker rooms in the league.
To recap, the Dolphins cut ties with the aging, but still productive Brent Grimes so they could get a guy who spent all of 2015 getting crushed by number one wideouts in Philly to be their new top corner and replaced the heir to Cameron Wake's pass-rushing throne for a hothead that's 2 or 3 years away from retiring. Most competent fantasy football players could concoct a better rebuilding plan than Grier did this offseason. I honestly feel bad for guys like Reshad Jones and Ndamukong Suh- who are among the best players in the league at their respective positions- because despite their best efforts, the front office's inability to bring in enough quality talent to fill out a defense basically renders their contributions useless.
Bottom Line:
Poor personnel decisions and massive gaps at several key positions on both sides of the ball have put the Dolphins in the same clusterfuck they find themselves in every year.
Offense:
After enjoying next-to-no success under the last offensive "guru" they hired (Joe Philbin) as a head coach, the Dolphins decided to bring in another one in former Broncos and Bears offensive coordinator Adam Gase. Gase was the architect of the record-breaking 2013 Broncos offense and his track record of getting the most out of his quarterbacks is proven and very impressive. Gase clearly still has to prove if he has the management skills or proper temperament to be a successful head coach, but he's one of the sharpest offensive minds in the league right now and is easily the most promising head coaching hire the Dolphins have made since at least Dave Wansteadt.
With the exception of having a projected starting unning back in Arian Foster that may or may not be dead and an offensive line that is arguably the worst in the league, Gase has inherited a pretty talented albeit somewhat inconsistent group that could blossom into one of the league's best offenses with the right coaching. Jarvis Landry is one of the best young wideouts in the league and his proficiency in the short passing game make him a perfect fit in Gase's scheme, 2nd-year wide receiver DeVante Parker came on strong late last year after being hampered with a foot injury for the first half of the season and despite breaking his pattern of year-to-year improvement with a mediocre 2015 season, Ryan Tannehill is a talented young quarterback with major upside that can light up an opposing defense any given week. It's going to very interesting to see if Gase can stabilize this unit and establish a level of consistency that alluded Philbin and his staff for the past 4 seasons.
Defense:
I don't know if it's because the football gods frown upon the people of Miami or they just hate how the undefeated 1972 team conducted themselves after they made history, but The Dolphins front office seems to have some kind of unprecedented hex on it. The team's last 3 general managers (Randy Muller, Jeff Ireland, Dennis Hickey) have been responsible for some of the worst big money free agent signings (safety Gibril Wilson, wide receiver Mike Wallace, inside linebacker Dannell Ellerbe) and horrible draft choices (Ted Ginn Jr., Dion Jordan, Pat White) of the past decade. The roster moves made by their recent general managers have been backbreaking and are the main reason the team hasn't been to the playoffs since they took out the Tom Brady-less Patriots for the AFC East crown in 2008.
History repeated itself as the Dolphins tapped their longtime college scouting director Chris Grier to replace Hickey as their general manager. Promoting a man who has played an integral part in the continued failure of your franchise pretty much confirms that Stephen Ross is one of the dumbest owners in the league.
Grier didn't waste anytime royally fucking things up by making a series of head-scratching decisions that basically destroyed the Dolphins defense. He kicked things off before free agency even officially started by acquiring the huge contract of cornerback Byron Maxwell, who spent last season being prominently featured in the highlight tapes of all of the WR's who burned his ass and oft-injured inside linebacker Kiko Alonso from the Eagles. To make the deal even sweeter, the 1st-draft picks they exchanged (the Dolphins received the 13th overall pick and the Eagles received the 8th pick, which they eventually used as part of the deal with the Browns to move up and select quarterback Carson Wentz 2nd overall) in the deal ended up being used to select tackle and gas-mask enthusiast Laremy Tunsil. I'm not a gambling man, but I'd be willing to wager that the history books will show that Eagles general manager Howie Roseman committed one of the greatest salary-dump trades of all-time.
The fun continued when Grier suddenly took the transition tag off of 26-year old defensive end Olivier Vernon to sign 32-year old Mario Williams, who is coming off of the worst season of his career with the Bills and puts another toxic presence into one of the most unstable locker rooms in the league.
To recap, the Dolphins cut ties with the aging, but still productive Brent Grimes so they could get a guy who spent all of 2015 getting crushed by number one wideouts in Philly to be their new top corner and replaced the heir to Cameron Wake's pass-rushing throne for a hothead that's 2 or 3 years away from retiring. Most competent fantasy football players could concoct a better rebuilding plan than Grier did this offseason. I honestly feel bad for guys like Reshad Jones and Ndamukong Suh- who are among the best players in the league at their respective positions- because despite their best efforts, the front office's inability to bring in enough quality talent to fill out a defense basically renders their contributions useless.
Bottom Line:
Poor personnel decisions and massive gaps at several key positions on both sides of the ball have put the Dolphins in the same clusterfuck they find themselves in every year.
New England Patriots
2016 Record: 11-5 (1st in AFC East)
Head Coach: Bill Belichick (17th season)
Notable Additions: TE Martellus Bennett, DT Terrence Knighton, DE Chris Long
Notable Departures: DE Chandler Jones, WR Brandon LaFell, DT Dominique Easley
Offense:
The nearly 2-year power struggle between the NFL and Tom Brady over the Deflatgate "scandal" has finally (?) come to a close as Brady has agreed to stop his appeal process and accept the 4-game suspension that was handed down by the league in May 2015. With Brady's suspension now official, all eyes turn to 3rd-year quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo to start the season. Garoppolo hasn't been particularly impressive is in his limited amount of regular season snaps, but he has the advantage of facing a soft 4-game schedule with 3 home games against teams (The Miami Dolphins, Houston Texans and Buffalo Bills) that are far less talented than the Patriots and having a veteran team that should be even hungrier than usual to win out of the gate. I'd be legitimately shocked if they were any worse than 2-2 when Brady returns to the fold for their Week 5 contest against the Cleveland Browns.
Aside from Brady's suspension and the addition of a potential weapon in former Bears tight end Martellus Bennett to the fold, it'll be pretty much be business as usual for the Patriots offense this season. It's honestly boring to talk about the Patriots offense because it's pretty much a given that they're going to put up a shitload of points and display the same strengths (short passing, redzone efficiency, Rob Gronkowski ruining the lives of defenses on a weekly basis) and weaknesses (running the ball, wide receiver depth, Julian Edelman's douchey social media presence) that they do every single year. Having a predictable, one-dimensional offense doesn't usually pay in the NFL, but the Patriots have been able cement their legacy as the dominant franchise of the 2000's and 2010's because of it and barring an unforeseen meltdown, it should continue to work for them in 2016.
The only serious cause for concern this group has is their offensive line. Anyone that watched this team last season knows that their offensive line was one of the worst in the league and got absolutely destroyed by any defense with a decent amount of firepower upfront (I'm still blown away by just how badly the Broncos manhandled them in the AFC Championship Game). The return of longtime offensive line coach Dante Scarnecchia after a 2-year retirement is being viewed as a cure for all of their woes upfront by the fans and local media, but as great of a coach he is, fixing this trainwreck of an offensive line ahead of this season is the tallest order he's ever faced in his 4+ decade coaching career.
Tackles Nate Solder and Sebastian Vollmer have rapidly regressed over the past few seasons and the interior line is a logjam full of raw, young players that have struggled to adjust to the NFL that only managed to get more even more crowded in the offseason with the additions of 2013 1st round pick/monumental draft bust Jonathan Cooper and rookie Joe Thuney to the fold. There's not a starter locked down at any of the inside 3 positions at this point in time, but whatever combo of Cooper, Thuney, Shaq Mason, Tre' Jackson, Josh Kline, Bryan Stork and David Andrews they end up with going is unlikely establish the level of continuity and competence the team and fansbase is striving for. If this offensive line can't improve from their horrendous showing last season, the Patriots heavily-hyped Deflategate "revenge tour"/"Drive for 5" will fall short for a 2nd straight season.
Defense:
The Patriots front seven suffered a huge and unexpected loss when Belichick decided to trade Chandler Jones to the Cardinals this offseason. Jones's departure was pretty much inevitable after his widely publicized synthetic marijuana incident during last year's playoffs, but losing a player of his caliber a year before he was set to hit free agency is hard to swallow.
With Jones gone, there's no one on this roster outside of the highly underrated Jabbal Sheard who is a serious threat to get to the quarterback on a regular basis off the edge. Age has drained Rob Ninkovich of the burst he once possessed, Free-agent pickup Chris Long's production has nosedived in the past few seasons due to injuries and age, and 2nd-year player Trey Flowers-who looked excellent in the team's preseason opener last Thursday against the Saints-has never played a snap in the regular season. The Patriots certainly have a big enough rotation to keep defenses on their toes, but I don't think they'll come anywhere near the impressive 49 sack (2rd highest in the league) mark they put up in 2015 without Jones in the fold.
The speculation of who's going to step up and attempt to fill the huge void left by Jones in the pass-rushing department has garnered most of the defensive headlines for the Patriots, but I don't believe that this is the area they should be most worried about. For the second consecutive season, the biggest question marks on the Patriots defense lie within the secondary, particularly with the play of starting corners Malcolm Butler and Logan Ryan. Butler and Ryan both greatly exceeded expectations with their impressive play in 2015, but they have yet to prove they can handle being long-term starters in this league. Corners in the Belichick-era have a terrible track record of performing well in back-to-back seasons and despite their level of productivity on the whole, there were times last seasons where they both got absolutely ruined. This is a make-or-break season for both of the Patriots starting corners and their success or failure could go a long way in dictating the quality of this defense in 2016.
The glue that should ultimately hold this talented yet unsettled defense together is their frightening linebacker combo of Jamie Collins and Dont'a Hightower. As great as safety Devin McCourty has been throughout his 6 years with the team, Collins and Hightower are the most impactful and dynamic players the Patriots have on the defensive side of the ball. Their freakish athleticism and two-way abilities sets the tone for the entire defense and without them, the entire unit becomes pretty pedestrian (as evidenced by the problems that arose when they were both sidelined with injury late last season). Collins and Hightower are both fully healthy again for the first time since late October last yaear and heading into the final year of their rookie contracts, so I wouldn't be surprised if both of them put up their best numbers to-date.
The Patriots front seven suffered a huge and unexpected loss when Belichick decided to trade Chandler Jones to the Cardinals this offseason. Jones's departure was pretty much inevitable after his widely publicized synthetic marijuana incident during last year's playoffs, but losing a player of his caliber a year before he was set to hit free agency is hard to swallow.
With Jones gone, there's no one on this roster outside of the highly underrated Jabbal Sheard who is a serious threat to get to the quarterback on a regular basis off the edge. Age has drained Rob Ninkovich of the burst he once possessed, Free-agent pickup Chris Long's production has nosedived in the past few seasons due to injuries and age, and 2nd-year player Trey Flowers-who looked excellent in the team's preseason opener last Thursday against the Saints-has never played a snap in the regular season. The Patriots certainly have a big enough rotation to keep defenses on their toes, but I don't think they'll come anywhere near the impressive 49 sack (2rd highest in the league) mark they put up in 2015 without Jones in the fold.
The speculation of who's going to step up and attempt to fill the huge void left by Jones in the pass-rushing department has garnered most of the defensive headlines for the Patriots, but I don't believe that this is the area they should be most worried about. For the second consecutive season, the biggest question marks on the Patriots defense lie within the secondary, particularly with the play of starting corners Malcolm Butler and Logan Ryan. Butler and Ryan both greatly exceeded expectations with their impressive play in 2015, but they have yet to prove they can handle being long-term starters in this league. Corners in the Belichick-era have a terrible track record of performing well in back-to-back seasons and despite their level of productivity on the whole, there were times last seasons where they both got absolutely ruined. This is a make-or-break season for both of the Patriots starting corners and their success or failure could go a long way in dictating the quality of this defense in 2016.
The glue that should ultimately hold this talented yet unsettled defense together is their frightening linebacker combo of Jamie Collins and Dont'a Hightower. As great as safety Devin McCourty has been throughout his 6 years with the team, Collins and Hightower are the most impactful and dynamic players the Patriots have on the defensive side of the ball. Their freakish athleticism and two-way abilities sets the tone for the entire defense and without them, the entire unit becomes pretty pedestrian (as evidenced by the problems that arose when they were both sidelined with injury late last season). Collins and Hightower are both fully healthy again for the first time since late October last yaear and heading into the final year of their rookie contracts, so I wouldn't be surprised if both of them put up their best numbers to-date.
Bottom Line:
Barring a sudden regression from Brady or a major injury to Gronkowski, the Patriots should cruise to another AFC East title and once again be in the thick of the AFC title hunt.
Barring a sudden regression from Brady or a major injury to Gronkowski, the Patriots should cruise to another AFC East title and once again be in the thick of the AFC title hunt.
New York Jets
2016 Record: 10-6 (2nd in AFC East)
Head Coach: Todd Bowles (2nd season)
Notable Additions: RB Matt Forte, T Ryan Clady, DE Jarvis Jenkins
Notable Departures: DT Damon Harrison, RB Chris Ivory, T D'Brickashaw Ferguson (retired)
Offense:
After nearly 5 months of living in fear of the prospect of having Geno Smith under center for the 2016 season, Jets Nation took a collective sigh of relief when Ryan Fitzpatrick re-signed with the team on July 27th. I'm surprised crazed Jets fans didn't try to kiss him or stroke his beard when he first took the field at training camp.
This is a sentence that I never thought I would write after watching get ousted from the Titans and Texans in consecutive seasons, but the Jets NEEDED Fitzpatrick to come back if they wanted any chance of being successful in 2016. With an aging corps driven by wide receiver Brandon Marshall (turned 32 in March) and newly-acquired running back Matt Forte (turns 31 in December), the Jets are in win-now mode and Fitzpatrick was the only quarterback available on the open market or in the draft this offseason that was capable of bringing them to the playoffs in 2016. I think it's a longshot that he matches or tops the numbers he put up during his career-best 2015 campaign, but the plethora of weapons he has surrounding him paired with excellent understanding of offensive coordinator Chan Gailey's system gives him a great shot of having another productive season this year.
The Jets were mostly able to keep the band back together for another run at a playoff, but the retirement of D'Brickashaw Ferguson could prove to be a significant blow to this entire unit. While there's no denying that Ferguson's play had slipped a bit over the past few seasons, he was the type reliable and durable (he didn't miss a single game in his 10-year career) presence at left tackle that every team strives to have on their roster. Ironically, the Jets traded for ex-Broncos tackle Ryan Clady, who has missed 2 of the last 3 seasons with a Lisfranc injury and a torn ACL, to replace him as Fitzpatrick's blind-side protector. Clady is one of the best left tackles to enter the league in the past decade, but his recent injuries have broken him down to the point where he's a shell of his former self and it's far from a guarantee that he won't go down with yet another serious injury this season. The lack of a stable presence at left tackle could send a ripple effect through the entire offensive line and send a unit that was already below-average tailspinning into a spot alongside their divisionmates in Miami and New England at the bottom of the NFL offensive line hierarchy.
After nearly 5 months of living in fear of the prospect of having Geno Smith under center for the 2016 season, Jets Nation took a collective sigh of relief when Ryan Fitzpatrick re-signed with the team on July 27th. I'm surprised crazed Jets fans didn't try to kiss him or stroke his beard when he first took the field at training camp.
This is a sentence that I never thought I would write after watching get ousted from the Titans and Texans in consecutive seasons, but the Jets NEEDED Fitzpatrick to come back if they wanted any chance of being successful in 2016. With an aging corps driven by wide receiver Brandon Marshall (turned 32 in March) and newly-acquired running back Matt Forte (turns 31 in December), the Jets are in win-now mode and Fitzpatrick was the only quarterback available on the open market or in the draft this offseason that was capable of bringing them to the playoffs in 2016. I think it's a longshot that he matches or tops the numbers he put up during his career-best 2015 campaign, but the plethora of weapons he has surrounding him paired with excellent understanding of offensive coordinator Chan Gailey's system gives him a great shot of having another productive season this year.
The Jets were mostly able to keep the band back together for another run at a playoff, but the retirement of D'Brickashaw Ferguson could prove to be a significant blow to this entire unit. While there's no denying that Ferguson's play had slipped a bit over the past few seasons, he was the type reliable and durable (he didn't miss a single game in his 10-year career) presence at left tackle that every team strives to have on their roster. Ironically, the Jets traded for ex-Broncos tackle Ryan Clady, who has missed 2 of the last 3 seasons with a Lisfranc injury and a torn ACL, to replace him as Fitzpatrick's blind-side protector. Clady is one of the best left tackles to enter the league in the past decade, but his recent injuries have broken him down to the point where he's a shell of his former self and it's far from a guarantee that he won't go down with yet another serious injury this season. The lack of a stable presence at left tackle could send a ripple effect through the entire offensive line and send a unit that was already below-average tailspinning into a spot alongside their divisionmates in Miami and New England at the bottom of the NFL offensive line hierarchy.
Defense:
The Jets were put in the rough spot of being a cash-strapped team with 2 key pieces of their top-notch defensive front (defensive end Muhammad Wilkerson and defensive tackle Damon "Snacks" Harrison) hitting free agency in the same year. The Jets chose to pay Wilkerson over Harrison -who ironically signed with the Giants-giving him a hefty 5 year/$86 million with $53.5 mil in guaranteed money. Losing a dominant run-stuffer like Harrison certainly hurts, but ex-Steelers nose tackle Steve McClendon and 2nd-year standout Leonard Williams should be able to fill the void the departure of Snacks left in the middle of the line and finding someone with his skill set is not as difficult as finding a player with Wilkerson's versatility and strength on the edge of the defense. The combination of Wilkerson, Williams, McClendon and Sheldon Richardson should be more than enough to allow the Jets front to continue to perform at a high level in 2016.
Where the defensive front appears to be set to repeat the success they had in 2015, the Jets secondary could be line for a huge drop-off. This unit was easily the weak spot of the Jets impressive defense, finishing a respectable albeit not spectacular 13th in the league. If the all of the potential issues within their unit materialize, they'll be lucky to finish in the middle of the league again. Darrelle Revis started to show signs of his decline at the very end of last season and the wrist surgery he got in the offseason only reaffirms the notion the end may be near for the future Hall-of-Fame cornerback while the release of the admittedly over-the hill Antonio Cromartie forces the wildly inconsistent Buster Skrine into a starting, outside corner spot and grand-scale 2013 draft bust Dee Milliner into the slot corner spot (barring he doesn't suffer a injury) previously occupied by Skrine. On paper, this corner group seems like a fucking nightmare scenario for a team that's trying to get back to the playoffs.
Their safety situation isn't nearly as bleak with Marcus Gilchrist coming off of a breakout, borederline Pro Bowl season and Calvin Pryor making huge strides in his sophomore season after being switched back to his natural position of strong safety following a disastrous experiment at free safety in his rookie year, but regardless of how well they play in 2016, I don't see a situation where they could gloss over the potential issues in the rest of the secondary. If Revis can continue to play at the level we've grown accustomed throughout his illustrious career, they'll be fine. If he doesn't, this secondary is a prime candidate to be one of the most vulnerable in the league.
The Jets were put in the rough spot of being a cash-strapped team with 2 key pieces of their top-notch defensive front (defensive end Muhammad Wilkerson and defensive tackle Damon "Snacks" Harrison) hitting free agency in the same year. The Jets chose to pay Wilkerson over Harrison -who ironically signed with the Giants-giving him a hefty 5 year/$86 million with $53.5 mil in guaranteed money. Losing a dominant run-stuffer like Harrison certainly hurts, but ex-Steelers nose tackle Steve McClendon and 2nd-year standout Leonard Williams should be able to fill the void the departure of Snacks left in the middle of the line and finding someone with his skill set is not as difficult as finding a player with Wilkerson's versatility and strength on the edge of the defense. The combination of Wilkerson, Williams, McClendon and Sheldon Richardson should be more than enough to allow the Jets front to continue to perform at a high level in 2016.
Where the defensive front appears to be set to repeat the success they had in 2015, the Jets secondary could be line for a huge drop-off. This unit was easily the weak spot of the Jets impressive defense, finishing a respectable albeit not spectacular 13th in the league. If the all of the potential issues within their unit materialize, they'll be lucky to finish in the middle of the league again. Darrelle Revis started to show signs of his decline at the very end of last season and the wrist surgery he got in the offseason only reaffirms the notion the end may be near for the future Hall-of-Fame cornerback while the release of the admittedly over-the hill Antonio Cromartie forces the wildly inconsistent Buster Skrine into a starting, outside corner spot and grand-scale 2013 draft bust Dee Milliner into the slot corner spot (barring he doesn't suffer a injury) previously occupied by Skrine. On paper, this corner group seems like a fucking nightmare scenario for a team that's trying to get back to the playoffs.
Their safety situation isn't nearly as bleak with Marcus Gilchrist coming off of a breakout, borederline Pro Bowl season and Calvin Pryor making huge strides in his sophomore season after being switched back to his natural position of strong safety following a disastrous experiment at free safety in his rookie year, but regardless of how well they play in 2016, I don't see a situation where they could gloss over the potential issues in the rest of the secondary. If Revis can continue to play at the level we've grown accustomed throughout his illustrious career, they'll be fine. If he doesn't, this secondary is a prime candidate to be one of the most vulnerable in the league.
Bottom Line:
The Jets are a near-mirror image of the team they were a year ago and I believe the 2016 season will result in the same heartbreaking, narrow miss of a wild card spot.
Projected Standings:
1.New England Patriots (11-5)
2.New York Jets (9-7)
3.Buffalo Bills (9-7)
4.Miami Dolphins (5-11)
Projected Standings:
1.New England Patriots (11-5)
2.New York Jets (9-7)
3.Buffalo Bills (9-7)
4.Miami Dolphins (5-11)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)