Vince Staples-Big Fish Theory: Is it too early to call Vince Staples' second LP Big Fish Theory the best hip-hop album of the year? Probably. Am I going to throw all sensible logic out the window and prematurely bestow this title upon it anyway? You bet your sweet ass I am. Behind production primarily handled by a number of EDM heavyweights including Sophie, Zack Sekoff and Jimmy Edgar, Staples is able to create the most abrasive, distinct and consistent project of his brief but thoroughly impressive career thus far. The marriage between Europe's most aggressive styles of electronic music (house and UK garage) and modern hip-hop's angriest MC is almost too perfect for words. The frantic synths and wall-rattling bass that drive the album's beats essentially act as a PED for the rage, misery and sadness that defines Staples' music. While Staples' previous output has boasted excellent production, this new electronic-driven sound was the extra kick in the teeth his music needed to amplify the potency of his pain-filled storytelling. Staples is exactly the type of gifted, envelope-pushing artist that deserves to be at the forefront of the modern hip-hop scene and I really hope the brilliance of Big Fish Theory will finally earn him the level of respect he's long deserved.
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Homage 2.Big Fish (feat. Juicy J) 3.Yeah Right (feat. Kendrick Lamar and Kucka)
2 Chainz-Pretty Girls Like Trap Music: Records like Pretty Girls Like Trap Music is why I spend so much time championing the trap genre. The hooks are triumphant, the lyrics are endlessly quotable, the wide variety of killer beats from established vets (Mike Dean, Mike Will Made It, Honorable C.N.O.T.E.) and promising young guns (Murda Beatz, K Swisha, Buddah Bless) is a beautiful showcase of why I believe we're currently living in the golden age of hip-hop production and above all, 2 Chainz finally flexes the level of charisma that has made him the genre's king of show-stealing guest verses over the course of a full-length solo project. I'll be bumping the shit out of this absurdly fun, banger-filled record for the foreseeable future.
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Sleep When U Die 2.OG Kush Diet 3.Rolls Royce Bitch
Calvin Harris-Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1: Most mainstream artists aspire to make a song that goes down as an summer anthem. On Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1, Calvin Harris made an album full of them. Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1's laid-back, funk-and-disco-driven sound is a big departure for the Scottish DJ that rose to worldwide fame producing straightforward electropop tracks, but this pretty major stylistic change results in the best material he's ever crafted. Harris' production has never sounded this confident or groovy and despite working with a revolving door of A-list collaborators including Pharrell, Future and Katy Perry that span multiple genres, this record remains cohesive and catchy as hell throughout its efficient 38-minute runtime. Throw this shit on at a cookout or party on a warm night and prepare to let the good times roll.
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Heatstroke (feat. Young Thug, Pharrell and Ariana Grande) 2.Faking It (feat. Kehlani and Lil Yachty) 3.Cash Out (feat. ScHoolboy Q, PartyNextDoor and D.R.A.M.)
Young Thug-Beautiful Thugger Girls: When I first heard that hip-hop's most endearing oddball Young Thug was going to drop an "all-singing" album, I let out an audible groan. Thugga has sung a little bit with decent enough results in the past, but the prospect of listening to him sing on an album's worth of material was about as appealing as contracting the Bubonic Plague. To my surprise, Beautiful Thugger Girls proved to be a pretty god damn good release. Thug's goofy swagger and gift for writing unpredictable, catchy melodies seamlessly carries over to the world of pop rap/R&B ,and his singing on the majority of the album is pretty impressive (particularly on "She Wanna Party" and "You Said"). It's definitely more inconsistent than his past two releases (Slime Season 3 and Jeffrey) and there are some bizzaro experiments on here that don't work at all (the country-tinged "Family Don't Matter", whatever the hell "Daddy's Birthday" was supposed to be), but Beautiful Thugger Girls is still a very enjoyable release that successfully expands upon Thugga's already impressive versatility as an artist.
3.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Do U Love Me 2.She Wanna Party (feat. Millie Go Lightly) 3.Take Care
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Monday, July 10, 2017
Quick Movie Reviews: Baby Driver, The House, Spider-Man: Homecoming
Baby Driver: The latest project from writer/director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) is the slice of pure cinematic electricity that this mostly underwhelming summer movie season desperately needed. With Baby Driver, Wright has essentially made the world's first heist-centered jukebox musical. Everything from the intense,beautifully-choreographed car chases and shootouts to the movie's more tender character moments possesses a distinct rhythm that makes the film feel like an unpredictable epic-length song. While the immense, immersive musical backdrop that drives almost every scene helps give the film a very unique feel, the high-octane symphony that is Baby Driver wouldn't have been nearly as effective without its rich characterization. The Atlanta criminal underworld that Wright concocted is full of colorful personalities that are brought to life with maximum aplomb and charisma by the film's outstanding ensemble cast (led by Ansel Elgort, Kevin Spacey and a scene-stealing Jamie Foxx, giving the most horrifying performance of his career thus far). Memorable characters are an underrated hallmark of great action flicks, so it was great to see Wright craft a film that features numerous protagonists and antagonists that have already permeated their way into the deepest caverns of my brain. Baby Driver is an exhilarating, brilliantly-directed masterpiece that will undoubtedly go down as one of my favorite films of 2017.
4.5/5 Stars
The House: What a deflating letdown. Despite boasting an excellent premise (a 40-something couple team up with their neighbor to run an illegal casino so they can pay for her daughter's tuition), a cast full of gifted improv comedians (Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, numerous others) and a writer/director team in Andrew J. Cohen and Brendan O'Brien that have been behind some of the funniest movies to be released over the past few years (Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, both Neighbors films),The House somehow manages to be a painfully mediocre comedy. Every single laugh-out-loud moment of the film was spoiled by the trailers, the rapport between the cast wasn't very strong and it sorely lacked the goofy, spastic energy that usually drives Cohen and O'Brien's work. This is a huge, head-scratching misfire that is well below the quality of the output usually produced by the film's key players.
2.5/5 Stars
Spider-Man: Homecoming: It may haven taken 13 years, but the Spider-Man franchise is back on track baby! Spider-Man: Homecoming thrives by failing to repeat the sins of Spidey's past three big-screen adventures. Homecoming (wisely) ditches the forced gritty tone of both Amazing Spider-Man films by portraying Peter Parker as the bumbling teenager he was in the comic books, which goes a long way in helping inject the long-absent sense of fun back into this franchise. Tom Holland proves his turn in Captain America: Civil War wasn't a fluke by flawlessly portraying Spider-Man as an eager yet often overmatched hero that is still learning to live with his extraordinary powers and the coming-of-age awkwardness that drives the story leads to some of the sharpest comedic material to ever appear in a Marvel movie. As refreshingly fun and goofy as Spider-Man: Homecoming is, it still manages to get bogged down by the typical Achilles heels of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Michael Keaton's Vulture is yet another underutilized, mediocre villain and with his love of disorienting quick cuts and wide shots, director Jon Watts repeatedly proves that he has absolutely no fucking clue how to stage a coherent action sequence. While it's not a classic by any stretch of the imagination, Spider-Man: Homecoming sets up a very solid foundation for this revamped franchise.
4/5 Stars
4.5/5 Stars
The House: What a deflating letdown. Despite boasting an excellent premise (a 40-something couple team up with their neighbor to run an illegal casino so they can pay for her daughter's tuition), a cast full of gifted improv comedians (Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, numerous others) and a writer/director team in Andrew J. Cohen and Brendan O'Brien that have been behind some of the funniest movies to be released over the past few years (Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, both Neighbors films),The House somehow manages to be a painfully mediocre comedy. Every single laugh-out-loud moment of the film was spoiled by the trailers, the rapport between the cast wasn't very strong and it sorely lacked the goofy, spastic energy that usually drives Cohen and O'Brien's work. This is a huge, head-scratching misfire that is well below the quality of the output usually produced by the film's key players.
2.5/5 Stars
Spider-Man: Homecoming: It may haven taken 13 years, but the Spider-Man franchise is back on track baby! Spider-Man: Homecoming thrives by failing to repeat the sins of Spidey's past three big-screen adventures. Homecoming (wisely) ditches the forced gritty tone of both Amazing Spider-Man films by portraying Peter Parker as the bumbling teenager he was in the comic books, which goes a long way in helping inject the long-absent sense of fun back into this franchise. Tom Holland proves his turn in Captain America: Civil War wasn't a fluke by flawlessly portraying Spider-Man as an eager yet often overmatched hero that is still learning to live with his extraordinary powers and the coming-of-age awkwardness that drives the story leads to some of the sharpest comedic material to ever appear in a Marvel movie. As refreshingly fun and goofy as Spider-Man: Homecoming is, it still manages to get bogged down by the typical Achilles heels of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Michael Keaton's Vulture is yet another underutilized, mediocre villain and with his love of disorienting quick cuts and wide shots, director Jon Watts repeatedly proves that he has absolutely no fucking clue how to stage a coherent action sequence. While it's not a classic by any stretch of the imagination, Spider-Man: Homecoming sets up a very solid foundation for this revamped franchise.
4/5 Stars
Saturday, July 8, 2017
2017 NFL Position Rankings: Recap
For those who haven't read this series before or missed the beginning of this year's installment, here's the criteria for these lists:
1.Rookies are excluded from these rankings
Running Back:
Tight End:
20.Jared Cook (Raiders)
2.Each player is judged on where they currently stand in my opinion, not the player they once were, are going to be, etc.
3.Each player is listed as member of the team they will play for in 2017, not who they played for in 2016.
Enjoy!
Quarterback:
25.Carson Wentz (Eagles)
24.Blake Bortles (Jaguars)
23.Sam Bradford (Vikings)
22.Carson Palmer (Cardinals)
21.Tyrod Taylor (Bills)
20.Dak Prescott (Cowboys)
19.Marcus Mariota (Titans)
18.Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins)
17.Alex Smith (Chiefs)
16.Joe Flacco (Ravens)
15.Andy Dalton (Bengals)
14.Jameis Winston (Buccaneers)
13.Philip Rivers (Chargers)
12.Kirk Cousins (Redskins)
11.Eli Manning (Giants)
10.Derek Carr (Raiders)
9.Matthew Stafford (Lions)
8.Cam Newton (Panthers)
7.Matt Ryan (Falcons)
6.Andrew Luck (Colts)
5.Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)
4.Russell Wilson (Seahawks)
3.Drew Brees (Saints)
2.Aaron Rodgers (Packers)
1.Tom Brady (Patriots)
24.Blake Bortles (Jaguars)
23.Sam Bradford (Vikings)
22.Carson Palmer (Cardinals)
21.Tyrod Taylor (Bills)
20.Dak Prescott (Cowboys)
19.Marcus Mariota (Titans)
18.Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins)
17.Alex Smith (Chiefs)
16.Joe Flacco (Ravens)
15.Andy Dalton (Bengals)
14.Jameis Winston (Buccaneers)
13.Philip Rivers (Chargers)
12.Kirk Cousins (Redskins)
11.Eli Manning (Giants)
10.Derek Carr (Raiders)
9.Matthew Stafford (Lions)
8.Cam Newton (Panthers)
7.Matt Ryan (Falcons)
6.Andrew Luck (Colts)
5.Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)
4.Russell Wilson (Seahawks)
3.Drew Brees (Saints)
2.Aaron Rodgers (Packers)
1.Tom Brady (Patriots)
Running Back:
50.C.J Prosise (Seahawks)
45.Alfred Morris (Cowboys)
44.Chris Ivory (Jaguars)
43.Thomas Rawls (Seahawks)
42.Derrick Henry (Titans)
41.DeAngelo Williams (Free Agent)
40.Mike Gillislee (Patriots)
39.Rob Kelley (Redskins)
12.Lamar Miller (Texans)
11.Mark Ingram (Saints)
10.Frank Gore (Colts)
9.Jordan Howard (Bears)
6.DeMarco Murray (Titans)
5.Devonta Freeman (Falcons)
4.Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)
3.LeSean McCoy (Bills)
2.David Johnson (Cardinals)
1.Le'Veon Bell (Steelers)
Wide Receiver:
49.Shane Vereen (Giants)
48.Duke Johnson Jr. (Browns)
47.Jacquizz Rodgers (Buccaneers)
46.Terrance West (Ravens)47.Jacquizz Rodgers (Buccaneers)
45.Alfred Morris (Cowboys)
44.Chris Ivory (Jaguars)
43.Thomas Rawls (Seahawks)
42.Derrick Henry (Titans)
41.DeAngelo Williams (Free Agent)
40.Mike Gillislee (Patriots)
39.Rob Kelley (Redskins)
38.Eddie Lacy (Seahawks)
37.Danny Woodhead (Ravens)
36.Darren Sproles (Eagles)
35.Ty Montgomery (Packers)
34.Dion Lewis (Patriots)
33.Carlos Hyde (49ers)
32.Charles Sims (Buccaneers)
31.James White (Patriots)
30.Theo Riddick (Lions)
29.Giovani Bernard (Bengals)
28.Bilal Powell (Jets)
27.Ryan Matthews (Eagles)
37.Danny Woodhead (Ravens)
36.Darren Sproles (Eagles)
35.Ty Montgomery (Packers)
34.Dion Lewis (Patriots)
33.Carlos Hyde (49ers)
32.Charles Sims (Buccaneers)
31.James White (Patriots)
30.Theo Riddick (Lions)
29.Giovani Bernard (Bengals)
28.Bilal Powell (Jets)
27.Ryan Matthews (Eagles)
26.Doug Martin (Buccaneers)
25.Matt Forte (Jets)
24,Jonathan Stewart (Panthers)
23.Marshawn Lynch (Raiders)
22.Jammal Charles (Broncos)
21.Tevin Coleman (Falcons)
20.Jeremy Hill (Bengals)
19.Isaiah Crowell (Browns)
18.LeGarrette Blount (Eagles)
17.Spencer Ware (Chiefs)
16.C.J. Anderson (Broncos)
15.Latavius Murray (Vikings)
25.Matt Forte (Jets)
24,Jonathan Stewart (Panthers)
23.Marshawn Lynch (Raiders)
22.Jammal Charles (Broncos)
21.Tevin Coleman (Falcons)
20.Jeremy Hill (Bengals)
19.Isaiah Crowell (Browns)
18.LeGarrette Blount (Eagles)
17.Spencer Ware (Chiefs)
16.C.J. Anderson (Broncos)
15.Latavius Murray (Vikings)
14.Melvin Gordon (Chargers)
13.Adrian Peterson (Saints)12.Lamar Miller (Texans)
11.Mark Ingram (Saints)
10.Frank Gore (Colts)
9.Jordan Howard (Bears)
8.Todd Gurley (Rams)
7.Jay Ajayi (Dolphins)6.DeMarco Murray (Titans)
5.Devonta Freeman (Falcons)
4.Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)
3.LeSean McCoy (Bills)
2.David Johnson (Cardinals)
1.Le'Veon Bell (Steelers)
Wide Receiver:
50.Mohamed Sanu (Falcons)
49.Cameron Meredith (Bears)
48.Adam Thielen (Vikings)
47.Kenny Britt (Browns)
46.Randall Cobb (Packers)
45.Cole Beasley (Cowboys)
44.Tyreek Hill (Chiefs)
43.Terrelle Pryor (Redskins)
42.Jamison Crowder (Redskins)
37.Jordan Matthews (Eagles)
31.Michael Thomas (Saints)
30.Pierre Garcon (49ers)
29.Kelvin Benjamin (Panthers)
28.Eric Decker (Titans)
27.Jeremy Maclin (Ravens)
26.Marvin Jones (Lions)
25.DeSean Jackson (Buccaneers)
24.Keenan Allen (Chargers)
5.Dez Bryant (Cowboys)
4.A.J. Green (Bengals)
3.Odell Beckham Jr. (Giants)
2.Julio Jones (Falcons)
1.Antonio Brown (Steelers)
49.Cameron Meredith (Bears)
48.Adam Thielen (Vikings)
47.Kenny Britt (Browns)
46.Randall Cobb (Packers)
45.Cole Beasley (Cowboys)
44.Tyreek Hill (Chiefs)
43.Terrelle Pryor (Redskins)
42.Jamison Crowder (Redskins)
41.Tyrell Williams (Chargers)
40.Kenny Stills (Dolphins)
39.Willie Snead (Saints)
38.Stefon Diggs (Vikings) 39.Willie Snead (Saints)
37.Jordan Matthews (Eagles)
36.John Brown (Cardinals)
35.Allen Hurns (Jaguars)
34.Davante Adams (Packers)
33.Mike Wallace (Ravens)
32.Rishard Matthews (Titans)
30.Pierre Garcon (49ers)
29.Kelvin Benjamin (Panthers)
28.Eric Decker (Titans)
27.Jeremy Maclin (Ravens)
26.Marvin Jones (Lions)
25.DeSean Jackson (Buccaneers)
24.Keenan Allen (Chargers)
23.Sammy Watkins (Bills)
22.Golden Tate (Lions)
21.Michael Crabtree (Raiders)
20.Julian Edelman (Patriots)
19.Brandin Cooks (Patriots)
18.Allen Robinson (Jaguars)
17.Emmanuel Sanders (Broncos)
17.Emmanuel Sanders (Broncos)
16.Alshon Jeffrey (Eagles)
15.Brandon Marshall (Giants)
14.Jarvis Landry (Dolphins)
13.Doug Baldwin (Seahawks)
12.Amari Cooper (Raiders)
11.Demaryius Thomas (Broncos)
10.Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)
9.Jordy Nelson (Packers)
8.DeAndre Hopkins (Texans)
7.T.Y. Hilton (Colts)
6.Mike Evans (Buccaneers) 5.Dez Bryant (Cowboys)
4.A.J. Green (Bengals)
3.Odell Beckham Jr. (Giants)
2.Julio Jones (Falcons)
1.Antonio Brown (Steelers)
Tight End:
20.Jared Cook (Raiders)
19.Zach Miller (Bears)
18.Charles Clay (Bills)
17.Eric Ebron (Lions)
16.Hunter Henry (Chargers)
Tackle:
2.Trent Williams (Redskins)
1.Joe Thomas (Browns)
Guard:
3.Zack Martin (Cowboys)
2.Kelechi Osemele (Raiders)
Center:
Defensive Tackle:
18.Charles Clay (Bills)
17.Eric Ebron (Lions)
16.Hunter Henry (Chargers)
15.Jack Doyle (Colts)
14.Cameron Brate (Buccaneers)
13.Jason Witten (Cowboys)
12.Antonio Gates (Chargers)
11.Coby Fleener (Saints)
10.Kyle Rudolph (Vikings)
9.Zach Ertz (Eagles)
8.Tyler Eifert (Bengals)
7.Martellus Bennett (Packers)
6.Delanie Walker (Titans)
5.Jimmy Graham (Seahawks)
4.Jordan Reed (Redskins)
3.Greg Olsen (Panthers)
2.Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
1.Rob Gronkowski (Patriots)
Tackle:
30.Eric Fisher (Chiefs)
29.Demar Dotson (Buccaneers)
28.Ryan Schrader (Falcons)
27.Branden Albert (Jaguars)
26.Alejandro Villanueva (Steelers)
25.Taylor Decker (Lions)
24.Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)
23.Jake Matthews (Falcons)
22.Marcus Cannon (Patriots)
21.Ricky Wagner (Lions)
20.Morgan Moses (Redskins)
19.Nate Solder (Patriots)
18.Lane Johnson (Eagles)
17.Jack Conklin (Titans)
16.Zach Strief (Saints)
15.Duane Brown (Texans)
14.Taylor Lewan (Titans)
13.Bryan Bulaga (Packers)
12.Marcus Gilbert (Steelers)
11.Anthony Castonzo (Colts)
10.Joe Staley (49ers)
9.Terron Armstead (Saints)
8.Cordy Glenn (Bills)
7.David Bakhtiari (Packers)
6.Jason Peters (Eagles)
5.Donald Penn (Raiders)
4.Andrew Whitworth (Rams)
3.Tyron Smith (Cowboys)2.Trent Williams (Redskins)
1.Joe Thomas (Browns)
Guard:
30.Laurent Duvernay-Tardif (Chiefs)
29.Alex Boone (Vikings)
28.Shaq Mason (Patriots)
27.Roger Saffold (Rams)
26.Josh Kline (Titans)
29.Alex Boone (Vikings)
28.Shaq Mason (Patriots)
27.Roger Saffold (Rams)
26.Josh Kline (Titans)
25.Larry Warford (Saints)
24.Jack Mewhort (Colts)
23.Quinton Spain (Titans)
22.Ronald Leary (Broncos)
21.Ali Marpet (Buccaneers)
20.Andy Levitre (Falcons)
19.Clint Boling (Bengals)
24.Jack Mewhort (Colts)
23.Quinton Spain (Titans)
22.Ronald Leary (Broncos)
21.Ali Marpet (Buccaneers)
20.Andy Levitre (Falcons)
19.Clint Boling (Bengals)
18.Trai Turner (Panthers)
17.James Carpenter (Jets)
16.Gabe Jackson (Raiders)
15.Joel Bitonio (Browns)
14.Mike Iupati (Cardinals)
17.James Carpenter (Jets)
16.Gabe Jackson (Raiders)
15.Joel Bitonio (Browns)
14.Mike Iupati (Cardinals)
13.T.J. Lang (Lions)
12.Justin Pugh (Giants)
11.Andrew Norwell (Panthers)
12.Justin Pugh (Giants)
11.Andrew Norwell (Panthers)
10.Kyle Long (Bears)
9.Ramon Foster (Steelers)
9.Ramon Foster (Steelers)
8.Richie Incognito (Bills)
7.Kevin Zeitler (Browns)
6.Brandon Brooks (Eagles)
5.David DeCastro (Steelers)
4.Josh Sitton (Bears)3.Zack Martin (Cowboys)
2.Kelechi Osemele (Raiders)
1.Marshal Yanda (Ravens)
Center:
20.Greg Mancz (Texans)
19.Justin Britt (Seahawks)
18.A.Q. Shipley (Cardinals)
15.Weston Richburg (Giants)
19.Justin Britt (Seahawks)
18.A.Q. Shipley (Cardinals)
17.Mitch Morse (Chiefs)
16.Mike Pouncey (Dolphins)15.Weston Richburg (Giants)
14.JC Tretter (Browns)
13.Cody Whitehair (Bears)
12.Matt Slauson (Chargers)
11.Joe Berger (Vikings)
10.Eric Wood (Bills)
10.Eric Wood (Bills)
9.Ben Jones (Titans)
8.Ryan Kalil (Panthers)
4.Maurkice Pouncey (Steelers)
3.Rodney Hudson (Raiders)
2.Alex Mack (Falcons)
8.Ryan Kalil (Panthers)
7.Matt Paradis (Broncos)
6.Brandon Linder (Jaguars)
5.Max Unger (Saints)4.Maurkice Pouncey (Steelers)
3.Rodney Hudson (Raiders)
2.Alex Mack (Falcons)
1.Travis Fredrick (Cowboys)
Defensive Tackle:
30.Letroy Guion (Packers)
17.Chris Baker (Buccaneers)
16.Bennie Logan (Chiefs)
15.Danny Shelton (Browns)
14.Michael Brockers (Rams)
Defensive End:
Inside Linebacker:
Outside Linebacker:
Cornerback:
9.Sean Smith (Raiders)
8.Darius Slay (Lions)
7.Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (Giants)
6.Malcolm Butler (Patriots)
5.Josh Norman (Redskins)
4.Aqib Talib (Broncos)
Safety:
29.Corey Peters (Cardinals)
28.Timmy Jernigan (Eagles)
27.Dan Williams (Free Agent)
26.Grady Jarrett (Falcons)
26.Grady Jarrett (Falcons)
25.Michael Pierce (Ravens)
24.Lawrence Guy (Patriots)
23.Dontari Poe (Falcons)
22.Kyle Williams (Bills)
21.Ahtyba Rubin (Seahawks)
20.Sharrif Floyd (Vikings)
19.Alan Branch (Patriots)
18.Brandon Mebane (Chargers) 17.Chris Baker (Buccaneers)
16.Bennie Logan (Chiefs)
15.Danny Shelton (Browns)
14.Michael Brockers (Rams)
13.Jonathan Hankins (Colts)
12.Malik Jackson (Jaguars)
11.Marcell Dareus (Bills)
10.Brandon Williams (Ravens)
9.Linval Joseph (Vikings)
8.Geno Atkins (Bengals)
7.Calias Campbell (Jaguars)
6.Kawann Short (Panthers)
5.Gerald McCoy (Buccaneers)
4.Damon Harrison (Giants)
3.Fletcher Cox (Eagles)
2.Ndamukong Suh (Dolphins)
1.Aaron Donald (Rams)
Defensive End:
30.Sheldon Richardson (Jets)
29.Trey Flowers (Patriots)
28.Mario Addison (Panthers)
27.Robert Ayers (Buccaneers)
26.William Hayes (Dolphins)
25.Frank Clark (Seahawks)
24.Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
23.Cliff Avril (Seahawks)
22.Jerry Hughes (Bills)
21.Akiem Hicks (Bears)
20.Melvin Ingram (Chargers)
19.Everson Griffen (Vikings)
18.Cameron Heyward (Steelers)
17.Derek Wolfe (Broncos)
16.Muhammad Wilkerson (Jets)
15.Jadeveon Clowney (Texans)
14.Ezekiel Ansah (Lions)
13.Joey Bosa (Chargers)
12.Leonard Williams (Jets)
11.Carlos Dunlap (Bengals)
10.Cameron Wake (Dolphins)
9.Olivier Vernon (Giants)
8.Brandon Graham (Eagles)
7.Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants)
6.Jurrell Casey (Titans)
5.Mike Daniels (Packers)
4.Michael Bennett (Seahawks)
3.Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2.Khalil Mack (Raiders)
1.J.J. Watt (Texans)
29.Trey Flowers (Patriots)
28.Mario Addison (Panthers)
27.Robert Ayers (Buccaneers)
26.William Hayes (Dolphins)
25.Frank Clark (Seahawks)
24.Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
23.Cliff Avril (Seahawks)
22.Jerry Hughes (Bills)
21.Akiem Hicks (Bears)
20.Melvin Ingram (Chargers)
19.Everson Griffen (Vikings)
18.Cameron Heyward (Steelers)
17.Derek Wolfe (Broncos)
16.Muhammad Wilkerson (Jets)
15.Jadeveon Clowney (Texans)
14.Ezekiel Ansah (Lions)
13.Joey Bosa (Chargers)
12.Leonard Williams (Jets)
11.Carlos Dunlap (Bengals)
10.Cameron Wake (Dolphins)
9.Olivier Vernon (Giants)
8.Brandon Graham (Eagles)
7.Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants)
6.Jurrell Casey (Titans)
5.Mike Daniels (Packers)
4.Michael Bennett (Seahawks)
3.Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2.Khalil Mack (Raiders)
1.J.J. Watt (Texans)
Inside Linebacker:
25.Denzel Perryman (Chargers)
24.Avery Williamson (Titans)
23.Kwon Alexander (Buccaneers)
22.Karlos Dansby (Cardinals)
21.Deion Jones (Falcons)
20.Alec Ogletree (Rams)
19.Brian Cushing (Texans)
18,Todd Davis (Broncos)
17.Eric Kendricks (Vikings)
16.Derrick Johnson (Chiefs)
15.Kiko Alonso (Dolphins)
14.Mason Foster (Redskins)
13.Christian Kirksey (Browns)
12.Jordan Hicks (Eagles)
11.Paul Posluszny(Jaguars)
10.Zach Brown (Redskins)
9.Danny Trevathan (Bears)
8.NaVorro Bowman (49ers)
7.Brandon Marshall (Broncos)
6.C.J. Mosley (Ravens)
5.Don'ta Hightower (Patriots)
4.Sean Lee (Cowboys)
3.Jerrell Freeman (Bears)
2.Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)
1.Luke Kuechly (Panthers)
24.Avery Williamson (Titans)
23.Kwon Alexander (Buccaneers)
22.Karlos Dansby (Cardinals)
21.Deion Jones (Falcons)
20.Alec Ogletree (Rams)
19.Brian Cushing (Texans)
18,Todd Davis (Broncos)
17.Eric Kendricks (Vikings)
16.Derrick Johnson (Chiefs)
15.Kiko Alonso (Dolphins)
14.Mason Foster (Redskins)
13.Christian Kirksey (Browns)
12.Jordan Hicks (Eagles)
11.Paul Posluszny(Jaguars)
10.Zach Brown (Redskins)
9.Danny Trevathan (Bears)
8.NaVorro Bowman (49ers)
7.Brandon Marshall (Broncos)
6.C.J. Mosley (Ravens)
5.Don'ta Hightower (Patriots)
4.Sean Lee (Cowboys)
3.Jerrell Freeman (Bears)
2.Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)
1.Luke Kuechly (Panthers)
Outside Linebacker:
35.Lawrence Timmons (Dolphins)
34.Preston Smith (Redskins)
33.Leonard Floyd (Bears)
32.Robert Quinn (Rams)
31.John Simon (Colts)
30.Jabaal Sheard (Colts)
29.Clay Matthews (Packers)
28.Tamba Hali (Chiefs)
27.Willie Young (Bears)
26.Vincent Rey (Bengals)
25.Terrell Suggs (Ravens)
24.Nigel Bradham (Eagles)
23.Dee Ford (Chiefs)
22.Gerald Hodges (Bills)
21.Trent Murphy (Redskins)
20.Markus Golden (Cardinals)
19.Lorenzo Alexander (Bills)
18.Anthony Barr (Vikings)
17.Bruce Irvin (Raiders)
16.Derrick Morgan (Titans)
15.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)
14.Pernell McPhee (Bears)
13.Thomas Davis (Panthers)
12.Telvin Smith (Jaguars)
11.James Harrison (Steelers)
10.Jamie Collins (Browns)
9.Vic Beasley Jr. (Falcons)
8.Ryan Kerrigan (Redskins)
7.Brian Orakpo (Titans)
6.Vontaze Burfict (Bengals)
5.Whitney Mercilus (Texans)
4.K.J. Wright (Seahawks)
3.Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2.Justin Houston (Chiefs)
1.Von Miller (Broncos)
34.Preston Smith (Redskins)
33.Leonard Floyd (Bears)
32.Robert Quinn (Rams)
31.John Simon (Colts)
30.Jabaal Sheard (Colts)
29.Clay Matthews (Packers)
28.Tamba Hali (Chiefs)
27.Willie Young (Bears)
26.Vincent Rey (Bengals)
25.Terrell Suggs (Ravens)
24.Nigel Bradham (Eagles)
23.Dee Ford (Chiefs)
22.Gerald Hodges (Bills)
21.Trent Murphy (Redskins)
20.Markus Golden (Cardinals)
19.Lorenzo Alexander (Bills)
18.Anthony Barr (Vikings)
17.Bruce Irvin (Raiders)
16.Derrick Morgan (Titans)
15.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)
14.Pernell McPhee (Bears)
13.Thomas Davis (Panthers)
12.Telvin Smith (Jaguars)
11.James Harrison (Steelers)
10.Jamie Collins (Browns)
9.Vic Beasley Jr. (Falcons)
8.Ryan Kerrigan (Redskins)
7.Brian Orakpo (Titans)
6.Vontaze Burfict (Bengals)
5.Whitney Mercilus (Texans)
4.K.J. Wright (Seahawks)
3.Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2.Justin Houston (Chiefs)
1.Von Miller (Broncos)
Cornerback:
50.LaDarius Gunter (Packers)
49.Joe Haden (Browns)
48.Jamar Taylor (Browns)
47.Jeremy Lane (Seahawks)
49.Joe Haden (Browns)
48.Jamar Taylor (Browns)
47.Jeremy Lane (Seahawks)
46.Robert Alford (Falcons)
45.Anthony Brown (Cowboys)
44.Jimmy Smith (Ravens)
43.Trumaine Johnson (Rams)
45.Anthony Brown (Cowboys)
44.Jimmy Smith (Ravens)
43.Trumaine Johnson (Rams)
42.Bashaud Breeland (Redskins)
41.Kareem Jackson (Texans)
40.Marcus Williams (Jets)
41.Kareem Jackson (Texans)
40.Marcus Williams (Jets)
39.Bradley Roby (Broncos)
38.Kevin Johnson (Texans)
37.James Bradberry (Panthers)
36.Russ Cockrell (Steelers)
35.Delvin Breaux (Saints)
34.Ronald Darby (Bills)
33.DeShawn Shead (Seahawks)
32.Prince Amukamara (Bears)
31.Logan Ryan (Titans)
30.Byron Maxwell (Dolphins)
29.Brandon Carr (Ravens)
28.Morris Claiborne (Jets)
38.Kevin Johnson (Texans)
37.James Bradberry (Panthers)
36.Russ Cockrell (Steelers)
35.Delvin Breaux (Saints)
34.Ronald Darby (Bills)
33.DeShawn Shead (Seahawks)
32.Prince Amukamara (Bears)
31.Logan Ryan (Titans)
30.Byron Maxwell (Dolphins)
29.Brandon Carr (Ravens)
28.Morris Claiborne (Jets)
27.Orlando Scandrick (Cowboys)
26.William Gay (Steelers)
25.Jalen Ramsey (Jaguars)
26.William Gay (Steelers)
25.Jalen Ramsey (Jaguars)
24.Captain Munnerlyn (Panthers)
23.David Amerson (Raiders)
22.Adam Jones (Bengals)
21.Jason Verrett (Chargers)
20.Jonathan Joseph (Texans)
19.A.J. Bouye (Jaguars)
19.A.J. Bouye (Jaguars)
18.Vontae Davis (Colts)
17.Brent Grimes (Buccaneers)
16.Terrence Newman (Vikings)
15.Stephon Gilmore (Patriots)
14.Desmond Trufant (Falcons)
13.Xavier Rhodes (Vikings)
12.Casey Hayward (Chargers)
16.Terrence Newman (Vikings)
15.Stephon Gilmore (Patriots)
14.Desmond Trufant (Falcons)
13.Xavier Rhodes (Vikings)
12.Casey Hayward (Chargers)
11.Janoris Jenkins (Giants)
10.Marcus Peters (Chiefs)9.Sean Smith (Raiders)
8.Darius Slay (Lions)
7.Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (Giants)
6.Malcolm Butler (Patriots)
5.Josh Norman (Redskins)
4.Aqib Talib (Broncos)
3.Richard Sherman (Seahawks)
2.Patrick Peterson (Cardinals)
1.Chris Harris Jr. (Broncos)
Safety:
30.Keanu Neal (Falcons)
Kicker:
Punter:
29.Mike Mitchell (Steelers)
28.D.J. Swearinger (Cardinals)
18.Rodney McLeod (Eagles)
17.Glover Quin (Lions)
16.HaHa Clinton-Dix (Packers)
27.J.J. Wilcox (Buccaneers)
26.Quentin Demps (Bears)
25.Maurice Alexander (Rams)
24.Jonathan Cyprien (Titans)
26.Quentin Demps (Bears)
25.Maurice Alexander (Rams)
24.Jonathan Cyprien (Titans)
23.Adrian Amos (Bears)
22.Darian Stewart (Broncos)
21.Mike Adams (Panthers)
20.George Iloka (Bengals)
19.Byron Jones (Cowboys) 22.Darian Stewart (Broncos)
21.Mike Adams (Panthers)
20.George Iloka (Bengals)
18.Rodney McLeod (Eagles)
17.Glover Quin (Lions)
16.HaHa Clinton-Dix (Packers)
15.Reggie Nelson (Raiders)
14.Barry Church (Jaguars)
13.T.J. Ward (Broncos)
13.T.J. Ward (Broncos)
12.Malcolm Jenkins (Eagles)
11.Tyrann Mathieu (Cardinals)
10.Tony Jefferson (Ravens)
9.Morgan Burnett (Packers)
8.Landon Collins (Giants)
7.Devin McCourty (Patriots)
6.Harrison Smith (Vikings)
5.Reshad Jones (Dolphins)
4.Kam Chancellor (Seahawks)
3.Eric Berry (Chiefs)
3.Eric Berry (Chiefs)
2.Eric Weddle (Ravens)
1.Earl Thomas (Seahawks)
Kicker:
20.Nick Novak (Texans)
19.Will Lutz (Saints)
18.Robbie Gould (49ers)
17.Caleb Sturgis (Eagles)
16.Kai Forbath (Vikings)
15.Graham Gano (Panthers)
14.Phil Dawson (Cardinals)
13.Greg Zuerlein (Rams)
12.Matt Prater (Lions)
11.Brandon McManus (Broncos)
10.Nick Folk (Buccaneers)
9.Cairo Santos (Chiefs)
8.Chris Boswell (Steelers)
7.Steven Hauschka (Bills)
6.Mason Crosby (Packers)
5.Stephen Gostkowski (Patriots)
4.Adam Vinatieri (Colts)
3.Matt Bryant (Falcons)
2.Dan Bailey (Cowboys)
1.Justin Tucker (Ravens)
19.Will Lutz (Saints)
18.Robbie Gould (49ers)
17.Caleb Sturgis (Eagles)
16.Kai Forbath (Vikings)
15.Graham Gano (Panthers)
14.Phil Dawson (Cardinals)
13.Greg Zuerlein (Rams)
12.Matt Prater (Lions)
11.Brandon McManus (Broncos)
10.Nick Folk (Buccaneers)
9.Cairo Santos (Chiefs)
8.Chris Boswell (Steelers)
7.Steven Hauschka (Bills)
6.Mason Crosby (Packers)
5.Stephen Gostkowski (Patriots)
4.Adam Vinatieri (Colts)
3.Matt Bryant (Falcons)
2.Dan Bailey (Cowboys)
1.Justin Tucker (Ravens)
Punter:
20.Tress Way (Redskins)
19.Riley Dixon (Broncos)
18.Brett Kern (Titans)
17.Drew Kaser (Chargers)
16.Ryan Allen (Patriots)
15.Dustin Colquitt (Chiefs)
14.Donnie Jones (Eagles)
13.Chris Jones (Cowboys)
12.Sam Koch (Ravens)
11.Kevin Huber (Bengals)
10.Brad Wing (Giants)
9.Brad Nortman (Jaguars)
8.Bryan Anger (Buccaneers)
7.Andy Lee (Panthers)
6.Matt Bosher (Falcons)
5.Marquette King (Raiders)
4.Shane Lechler (Texans)
3.Sam Martin (Lions)
2.Thomas Morstead (Saints)
1.Johnny Hekker (Rams)
Top 10 Individual Position Appearances by Team (most to least):
Seattle Seahawks-8 (Michael Bennett, Kam Chancellor, Jimmy Graham, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas, Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, Russell Wilson)
Green Bay Packers-7 (David Bakhtiari, Martellus Bennett, Morgan Burnett, Mason Crosby, Mike Daniels, Jordy Nelson, Aaron Rodgers)
New York Giants-7 (Odell Beckham Jr., Landon Collins, Damon Harrison, Jason Pierre-Paul, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Brad Wing, Olivier Vernon)
Oakland Raiders-7 (Derek Carr, Rodney Hudson, Marquette King, Khalil Mack, Kelechi Osemele, Donald Penn, Sean Smith)
Pittsburgh Steelers-7 (Le'Veon Bell, Chris Boswell, Antonio Brown, David DeCastro, Ramon Foster, Maurkice Pouncey, Ben Roethlisberger)
New England Patriots-6 (Tom Brady, Malcolm Butler, Stephen Gostkowski, Rob Gronkowski, Dont'a Hightower, Devin McCourty)
Denver Broncos-5 (Chris Harris Jr., Brandon Marshall, Von Miller, Matt Paradis, Aqib Talib)
Kansas City Chiefs-5 (Eric Berry, Justin Houston, Travis Kelce, Marcus Peters, Cairo Santos)
19.Riley Dixon (Broncos)
18.Brett Kern (Titans)
17.Drew Kaser (Chargers)
16.Ryan Allen (Patriots)
15.Dustin Colquitt (Chiefs)
14.Donnie Jones (Eagles)
13.Chris Jones (Cowboys)
12.Sam Koch (Ravens)
11.Kevin Huber (Bengals)
10.Brad Wing (Giants)
9.Brad Nortman (Jaguars)
8.Bryan Anger (Buccaneers)
7.Andy Lee (Panthers)
6.Matt Bosher (Falcons)
5.Marquette King (Raiders)
4.Shane Lechler (Texans)
3.Sam Martin (Lions)
2.Thomas Morstead (Saints)
1.Johnny Hekker (Rams)
Top 10 Individual Position Appearances by Team (most to least):
Seattle Seahawks-8 (Michael Bennett, Kam Chancellor, Jimmy Graham, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas, Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, Russell Wilson)
Atlanta Falcons-7 (Vic Beasley Jr., Matt Bryant, Matt Bosher, Devonta Freeman, Julio Jones, Alex Mack, Matt Ryan)
Dallas Cowboys-7 (Dan Bailey, Dez Bryant, Ezekiel Elliott, Travis Fredrick, Sean Lee, Zach Martin, Tyron Smith) Green Bay Packers-7 (David Bakhtiari, Martellus Bennett, Morgan Burnett, Mason Crosby, Mike Daniels, Jordy Nelson, Aaron Rodgers)
New York Giants-7 (Odell Beckham Jr., Landon Collins, Damon Harrison, Jason Pierre-Paul, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Brad Wing, Olivier Vernon)
Oakland Raiders-7 (Derek Carr, Rodney Hudson, Marquette King, Khalil Mack, Kelechi Osemele, Donald Penn, Sean Smith)
Pittsburgh Steelers-7 (Le'Veon Bell, Chris Boswell, Antonio Brown, David DeCastro, Ramon Foster, Maurkice Pouncey, Ben Roethlisberger)
Baltimore Ravens-6 (Tony Jefferson, C.J. Mosley, Justin Tucker, Eric Weddle, Brandon Williams, Marshal Yanda)
Carolina Panthers-6 (Ryan Kalil, Luke Kuechly, Andy Lee, Cam Newton, Greg Olsen, Kawann Short) New England Patriots-6 (Tom Brady, Malcolm Butler, Stephen Gostkowski, Rob Gronkowski, Dont'a Hightower, Devin McCourty)
Buffalo Bills-5 (Cordy Glenn, Steven Hauschka, Richie Incognito, LeSean McCoy, Eric Wood)
Chicago Bears-5 (Jordan Howard, Jerrell Freeman, Kyle Long, Josh Sitton, Danny Trevathan)Denver Broncos-5 (Chris Harris Jr., Brandon Marshall, Von Miller, Matt Paradis, Aqib Talib)
Kansas City Chiefs-5 (Eric Berry, Justin Houston, Travis Kelce, Marcus Peters, Cairo Santos)
New Orleans Saints-5 (Terron Armstead, Drew Brees, Cameron Jordan, Thomas Morstead, Max Unger)
Philadelphia Eagles-5 (Brandon Brooks, Fletcher Cox, Zach Ertz, Brandon Graham, Jason Peters)
Tennessee Titans-5 (Jurell Casey, Ben Jones, DeMarco Murray, Brian Orakpo, Delanie Walker)
Washington Redskins-5 (Zach Brown, Ryan Kerrigan, Josh Norman, Jordan Reed, Trent Williams)
Arizona Cardinals-4 (Larry Fitzgerald, David Johnson, Chandler Jones, Patrick Peterson)
Cincinnati Bengals-4 (Geno Atkins, Vontaze Burfict, Tyler Eifert, A.J. Green)
Houston Texans-4 (DeAndre Hopkins, Shane Lechler, Whitney Mercilus, J.J. Watt)
Houston Texans-4 (DeAndre Hopkins, Shane Lechler, Whitney Mercilus, J.J. Watt)
Indianapolis Colts-4 (Frank Gore, T.Y. Hilton, Andrew Luck, Adam Vinatieri)
Los Angeles Rams-4 (Aaron Donald, Todd Gurley, Johnny Hekker, Andrew Whitworth)
Miami Dolphins-4 (Jay Ajayi, Reshad Jones, Ndmuakong Suh, Cameron Wake)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers-4 (Bryan Anger, Mike Evans, Nick Folk, Gerald McCoy)
Cleveland Browns-3 (Jamie Collins, Joe Thomas, Kevin Zeitler)
Detroit Lions-3 (Sam Martin, Darius Slay, Matthew Stafford)
Jacksonville Jaguars-3 (Calias Campbell, Brandon Linder, Brad Nortman)
Minnesota Vikings-3 (Linval Joseph, Kyle Rudolph, Harrison Smith)
San Francisco 49ers-2 (NaVorro Bowman, Joe Staley)
Los Angeles Chargers-0
New York Jets-0
Thursday, July 6, 2017
The Best and Worst of Michael Keaton
The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an
actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I
take a look at the filmography of "Spider-Man: Homecoming" star Michael Keaton.
Films starring Michael Keaton that I've seen:
Night Shift
Beetlejuice
Batman
Batman Returns
Jackie Brown
Jack Frost
Toy Story 3
The Other Guys
Robocop
Need for Speed
Birdman
Spotlight
The Founder
Best Performance: Birdman (2014)
The performance that successfully resurrected Keaton's career is a visceral reminder of how great it is to watch top-notch acting on the big screen. Keaton uses a blend of frantic energy, dark humor and palatable emotional pain to paint a thoroughly convincing picture of an unstable, washed-up actor that's desperate to recapture his former glory. As great as Eddie Redmayne was in The Theory of Everything, I still think Keaton deserved the Academy Award for Best Actor in 2014.
Worst Performance: Jack Frost (1998)
Following the success of the two Batman films and a memorable supporting turn in cult favorite Jackie Brown, Keaton's career descended into a strange tailspin that lasted from the late 90's until 2010. This slide in notoriety is evidenced by his decision to play the title role in the sappy family melodrama Jack Frost. Watching a vibrant, scene-stealing actor like Keaton reduced to playing a dead rockstar that's been reincarnated as a fucking snowman so he can make-up for all of the selfish decisions he made when he was still alive made me weep internally. Thank Christ some talented people eventually came along and rescued Keaton from his self-inflicted 12-year stint in cinematic purgatory.
Best Film: The Other Guys (2010)
Will Ferrell and writer/director Adam McKay are one of the most lethal comedic pairings in Hollywood right now. The movies they've collaborated on (Step Brothers, Talladega Nights, both Anchorman movies) are easily some of the most quotable, insane and rewatchable comedies I've ever seen. While it doesn't reach the heights of the first Anchorman or Step Brothers, The Other Guys is still a hysterical film that's funnier than at least 95% of the comedies that have come out since the start of McKay's and Ferrell wildly impressive reign in 2004. Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are a flawless comedic pairing and the non-stop absurdity of the situations that the protagonists get into makes The Other Guys a joy to watch from start to finish.
Worst Film: Beetlejuice (1988)
Almost nothing in the world of film aggravates me more than quirky Tim Burton movies. His unwavering desire to be eccentric and tell corny stories about cutesy utopias where heavily made-up (and sometimes dead) "outcasts" fall in love with pretty people makes me want to vomit. Bettlejuice, which is considered to be among Burton's, is no exception to this trend. Every single character is either an insufferable asshole or a soulless mannequin, the plot is basically just an excuse for Burton to remind the audience that he loves the shit out of ghosts and the attempts at humor are consistently cringe-inducing (the god damn "Day-O" possession scene made me question if I had died and woke up in a dance-happy Hell). After exposing myself to this horrific shitpile in preparation for this piece, I can confirm that my hatred for Burton's stupid fucking zany setpiece porn is stronger than ever.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "War for the Planet of the Apes" star Andy Serkis.
Films starring Michael Keaton that I've seen:
Night Shift
Beetlejuice
Batman
Batman Returns
Jackie Brown
Jack Frost
Toy Story 3
The Other Guys
Robocop
Need for Speed
Birdman
Spotlight
The Founder
Best Performance: Birdman (2014)
The performance that successfully resurrected Keaton's career is a visceral reminder of how great it is to watch top-notch acting on the big screen. Keaton uses a blend of frantic energy, dark humor and palatable emotional pain to paint a thoroughly convincing picture of an unstable, washed-up actor that's desperate to recapture his former glory. As great as Eddie Redmayne was in The Theory of Everything, I still think Keaton deserved the Academy Award for Best Actor in 2014.
Worst Performance: Jack Frost (1998)
Following the success of the two Batman films and a memorable supporting turn in cult favorite Jackie Brown, Keaton's career descended into a strange tailspin that lasted from the late 90's until 2010. This slide in notoriety is evidenced by his decision to play the title role in the sappy family melodrama Jack Frost. Watching a vibrant, scene-stealing actor like Keaton reduced to playing a dead rockstar that's been reincarnated as a fucking snowman so he can make-up for all of the selfish decisions he made when he was still alive made me weep internally. Thank Christ some talented people eventually came along and rescued Keaton from his self-inflicted 12-year stint in cinematic purgatory.
Best Film: The Other Guys (2010)
Will Ferrell and writer/director Adam McKay are one of the most lethal comedic pairings in Hollywood right now. The movies they've collaborated on (Step Brothers, Talladega Nights, both Anchorman movies) are easily some of the most quotable, insane and rewatchable comedies I've ever seen. While it doesn't reach the heights of the first Anchorman or Step Brothers, The Other Guys is still a hysterical film that's funnier than at least 95% of the comedies that have come out since the start of McKay's and Ferrell wildly impressive reign in 2004. Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are a flawless comedic pairing and the non-stop absurdity of the situations that the protagonists get into makes The Other Guys a joy to watch from start to finish.
Worst Film: Beetlejuice (1988)
Almost nothing in the world of film aggravates me more than quirky Tim Burton movies. His unwavering desire to be eccentric and tell corny stories about cutesy utopias where heavily made-up (and sometimes dead) "outcasts" fall in love with pretty people makes me want to vomit. Bettlejuice, which is considered to be among Burton's, is no exception to this trend. Every single character is either an insufferable asshole or a soulless mannequin, the plot is basically just an excuse for Burton to remind the audience that he loves the shit out of ghosts and the attempts at humor are consistently cringe-inducing (the god damn "Day-O" possession scene made me question if I had died and woke up in a dance-happy Hell). After exposing myself to this horrific shitpile in preparation for this piece, I can confirm that my hatred for Burton's stupid fucking zany setpiece porn is stronger than ever.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "War for the Planet of the Apes" star Andy Serkis.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
2017 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Punters
20.Tress Way (Redskins)
19.Riley Dixon (Broncos)
18.Brett Kern (Titans)
17.Drew Kaser (Chargers)
16.Ryan Allen (Patriots)
15.Dustin Colquitt (Chiefs)
14.Donnie Jones (Eagles)
13.Chris Jones (Cowboys)
12.Sam Koch (Ravens)
11.Kevin Huber (Bengals)
10.Brad Wing (Giants)
9.Brad Nortman (Jaguars)
8.Bryan Anger (Buccaneers)
7.Andy Lee (Panthers)
6.Matt Bosher (Falcons)
5.Marquette King (Raiders)
4.Shane Lechler (Texans)
3.Sam Martin (Lions)
2.Thomas Morstead (Saints)
1.Johnny Hekker (Rams)
19.Riley Dixon (Broncos)
18.Brett Kern (Titans)
17.Drew Kaser (Chargers)
16.Ryan Allen (Patriots)
15.Dustin Colquitt (Chiefs)
14.Donnie Jones (Eagles)
13.Chris Jones (Cowboys)
12.Sam Koch (Ravens)
11.Kevin Huber (Bengals)
10.Brad Wing (Giants)
9.Brad Nortman (Jaguars)
8.Bryan Anger (Buccaneers)
7.Andy Lee (Panthers)
6.Matt Bosher (Falcons)
5.Marquette King (Raiders)
4.Shane Lechler (Texans)
3.Sam Martin (Lions)
2.Thomas Morstead (Saints)
1.Johnny Hekker (Rams)
2017 in Music: Mid-Year Recap
While there was pretty much bound to be a drop-off in quality after the stellar year that was 2016 in music, 2017's early offerings still managed to fall below my modest expectations. Outside of a handful outliers from the trap rap (Future, Migos, Gucci Mane) and metalcore (Darkest Hour, While She Sleeps, Within the Ruins) communities, it seemed like no artist or band was capable of putting out a record that was better than respectable. Everyone from promising young upstarts (Royal Blood, Joey Bada$$) to beloved genre torchbearers (Kendrick Lamar, Mastodon) put out new material that escaped from my memory almost immediately after I had finished listening to them. However, this currently middling musical year may be on the cusp of turning around after a stellar June that spawned a number of standout releases (Dying Fetus' Wrong One to Fuck With, Vince Staples' Big Fish Theory, Lorde's Melodrama, Young Thug's Beautiful Thugger Girls, Calvin Harris' Funk Wav. Bounces Vol. 1 and 2 Chainz's Pretty Girls Like Trap Music), which has helped provide a much-needed burst of optimism as the back half of 2017 gets underway. Below you'll find a comprehensive list of every 2017 album and EP I've heard ranked from worst to best (w/star ratings) as well as my 25 favorite songs of the year so far. Feel free to share your favorite and least favorite releases of the first half of 2017 in the comment section below!
EP's
3.XXXtentacion-Revenge (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Slipknot")
2.Lil Uzi Vert-Luv is Rage 1.5 (3/5) (Favorite Track: "XO Tour Llif3")
1.Denzel Curry-13 (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Zeltron 6 Billion")
LP's:
43.Suicide Silence-Suicide Silence (1.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Run")
42.Big Sean-I Decided. (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Sunday Morning Jetpack")
41.Charli XCX-Number 1 Angel (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "White Roses")
40.Dropkick Murphys-11 Short Stories of
Pain & Glory (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Blood")
39.Boris the Blade-Warpath (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Nihilist")
38.Incubus-8 (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Familiar Faces")
37.'68-Two Parts Viper (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Without Any Words (Only Crying and Laughter)")
36.Future-HNDRXX (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Incredible")
35.Goatwhore-Vengeful Ascension (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Chaos Arcane")
34.Playboi Carti-Playboi Carti (3/5) (Favorite Track: "New Choppa")
33.Halsey-Hopeless Fountain Kingdom (Favorite Track: "Eyes Closed")
32.Kendrick Lamar-DAMN. (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Loyalty")
31.Joey Bada$$-All-Amerikkkan Bada$$ (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Ring the Alarm")
30.Artificial Brain-Infrared Horizon (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Static Shattering")
29.Persefone-Aathma (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Cosmic Walkers")
28.Havok-Conformicide (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Dogmaniacal ")
27.Mastodon-Emperor of Sand (Favorite Track: "Steambreather")
26.Suffocation-...Of the Dark Light (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Some Things Should Be Left Alone")
25.Paramore-After Laughter (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Hard Times")
24.Lil Yachty-Teenage Emotions (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Peek a Boo")
24.Lil Yachty-Teenage Emotions (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Peek a Boo")
23.Royal Blood-How Did We Get So Dark? (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Hook, Line & Sinker")
22.Sampha-Process (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Take Me Inside")
21.Overkill-The Grinding Wheel (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Goddamn Trouble")
20.SZA-Ctrl (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Supermodel")
19.Freddie Gibbs-You Only Live 2wice (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Andrea")
18.Kodak Black-Painting Pictures (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Patty Cake")
17.Body Count-Bloodlust (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Ski Mask Way")
16.Young Thug-Beautiful Thugger Girls (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Do U Love Me")
15.Warbringer-Woe to the Vanquished (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Shellfire")
14.Mutoid Man-War Moans (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Wreck and Survive")
13.Drake-More Life (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Passionfruit")
12.Gucci Mane & Metro Boomin-Drop Top
Wop (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Dance with the Devil")
11.Municipal Waste-Slime and Punishment (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Dingy Situations")
10.Calvin Harris-Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1 (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Heatstroke")
10.Calvin Harris-Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1 (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Heatstroke")
9.Within the Ruins-Halfway Human (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Incomplete Harmony")
8.Migos-Culture (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Call Casting")
7.Future-FUTURE (4/5) (Favorite Track: "High Demand")
6.While She Sleeps-You Are We (4/5) (Favorite Track: "You Are We")
5.2 Chainz-Pretty Girls Like Trap Music (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Sleep When U Die")
4.Lorde-Melodrama (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Sober")
3.Darkest Hour-Godless Prophets & the
Migrant Flora (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Those Who Survived")
2.Vince Staples-Big Fish Theory (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Homage")
1.Dying Fetus-Wrong One to Fuck With (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Seething with Disdain")
Top 25 Songs:
2 Chainz-OG Kush Diet
2 Chainz-Sleep When U Die
Banks-Crowded Places
Calvin Harris-Heatstroke (feat. Ariana Grande, Pharrell and Young Thug)
Darkest Hour-Another Headless Ruler of the Used
Darkest Hour-Those Who Survived
Denzel Curry-Zeltron 6 Billion (feat. Lil Ugly Mane)
Drake-Passionfruit
Denzel Curry-Zeltron 6 Billion (feat. Lil Ugly Mane)
Drake-Passionfruit
Dying Fetus-Reveling in the Abyss
Dying Fetus-Seething with Disdain
Dying Fetus-Unmitigated Detestation
Future-Draco
Future-High Demand
Gucci Mane & Metro Boomin-Dance with the Devil
Kodak Black-Patty Cake
Lil Uzi Vert-XO Tour Llif3
Lorde-Homemade Dynamite
Lorde-Sober
Migos-Call Casting
Migos-T-Shirt
Vince Staples-Big Fish
Vince Staples-Homage
While She Sleeps-You Are We
Within the Ruins-Incomplete Harmony
Young Thug-Do U Love Me
Monday, July 3, 2017
2017 in Film: Mid-Year Recap
The first act of the 2017 cinematic year has been a roller-coaster ride full of triumphs and disappointments galore for the good ol' Hollywood movie machine. After a hot start that spawned a number of top-notch blockbusters (Ghost in the Shell, Kong: Skull Island), ballsy original projects (Get Out, I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore) and terrific sequels that matched or topped the quality of their predecessors (The Fate of the Furious, John Wick: Chapter 2), the first two months of the summer season have been pretty underwhelming, with only Lucia Aniello's Rough Night and Edgar Wright's Baby Driver managing to deliver any form of lasting resonance. Despite this recent downward trend, the abundance of potential gems currently slated for release from July through December has me really excited to see how the rest of the year in film unfolds. Below you'll find a list of everything I've seen this year ranked from worst to best (w/ star ratings) as well as some miscellaneous mid-year awards honoring my favorite and least favorite things of the year in movies so far. I encourage all of you fine people that took the time to read this piece to bitch about my list and/or leave your own in the comment section below.
31.Monster Trucks (1.5/5)
30.Okja (1.5/5)
30.Okja (1.5/5)
29.Take the 10 (2/5)
28.Split (2/5)
27.King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2.5/5)
26.The House (2.5/5)
25.Wonder Woman (2.5/5)
24.War on Everyone (3/5)
23.Life (3/5)
22.Before I Fall (3/5)
21.The Great Wall (3/5)
20.Fist Fight (3/5)
19.Sleepless (3/5)
18.Logan (3/5)
17.Win It All (3/5)
16.Baywatch (3.5/5)
15.Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (3.5/5)
14.Underworld: Blood Wars (3.5/5)
13.T2: Trainspotting (3.5/5)
12.The Lego Batman Movie (3.5/5)
11.Power Rangers (3.5/5)
10.Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 (3.5/5)
9.Kong: Skull Island (4/5)
8.Rough Night (4/5)
7.xXx: Return of Xander Cage (4/5)
6.Ghost in the Shell (4/5)
5.I Don't Feel at Home in This World
Anymore (4/5)
4.John Wick: Chapter 2 (4/5)
3.Get Out (4/5)
2.Baby Driver (4.5/5)
1.The Fate of the Furious (4.5/5)
Still Need to See:
A Cure for Wellness
A United Kingdom
The Last Word
Table 19
Raw
The Belko Experiment
CHiPs
Wilson
The Discovery
The Zookeeper's Wife
Gifted
Aftermath
Colossal
Going in Style
The Lost City of Z
Free Fire
Buster's Mal Heart
Sleight
Chuck
Alien: Covenant
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
War Machine
Band Aid
Dean
Beatriz at Dinner
The Mummy
The Hero
It Comes at Night
All Eyez on Me
The Book of Henry
Transformers: The Last Knight
The Beguiled
The Big Sick
The Little Hours
Mid-Year Awards:
Best Performance: Jamie Foxx, Baby Driver
Best Direction: Edgar Wright, Baby Driver
Best Script: Jordan Peele, Get Out
Best Visuals: Ghost in the Shell
Best Ensemble: Get Out
Worst Ensemble: Okja
Best Showcase of Unknown/Little-Known Actors: Get Out
Biggest Waste of Top-End Talent: Okja
Top Breakout Performance: (tie) Lil Rel Howrey, Get Out/Zoey Detuch, Before I Fall
Best Performance in a Bad Movie: James McAvoy, Split
Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Karen Gillian, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Best Blockbuster Spectacle: The Fate of the Furious
Biggest Failed Attempt at Blockbuster Spectacle: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Best Movie Theater Experience: (tie) The Fate of the Furious/Get Out
Worst Movie Theater Experience: Split
Best Piece of Overacting: Elizabeth Banks, Power Rangers
Worst Piece of Overacting: Jude Law, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Biggest Surprise: xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Biggest Letdown: The House
Most Underrated Film: Ghost in the Shell
Most Overrated Film: Wonder Woman
Film I'm Most Excited to see in the 2nd half of 2017: The Disaster Artist
Still Need to See:
A Cure for Wellness
A United Kingdom
The Last Word
Table 19
Raw
The Belko Experiment
CHiPs
Wilson
The Discovery
The Zookeeper's Wife
Gifted
Aftermath
Colossal
Going in Style
The Lost City of Z
Free Fire
Buster's Mal Heart
Sleight
Chuck
Alien: Covenant
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
War Machine
Band Aid
Dean
Beatriz at Dinner
The Mummy
The Hero
It Comes at Night
All Eyez on Me
The Book of Henry
Transformers: The Last Knight
The Beguiled
The Big Sick
The Little Hours
Mid-Year Awards:
Best Performance: Jamie Foxx, Baby Driver
Best Direction: Edgar Wright, Baby Driver
Best Script: Jordan Peele, Get Out
Best Visuals: Ghost in the Shell
Best Ensemble: Get Out
Worst Ensemble: Okja
Best Showcase of Unknown/Little-Known Actors: Get Out
Biggest Waste of Top-End Talent: Okja
Top Breakout Performance: (tie) Lil Rel Howrey, Get Out/Zoey Detuch, Before I Fall
Best Performance in a Bad Movie: James McAvoy, Split
Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Karen Gillian, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Best Blockbuster Spectacle: The Fate of the Furious
Biggest Failed Attempt at Blockbuster Spectacle: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Best Movie Theater Experience: (tie) The Fate of the Furious/Get Out
Worst Movie Theater Experience: Split
Best Piece of Overacting: Elizabeth Banks, Power Rangers
Worst Piece of Overacting: Jude Law, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Biggest Surprise: xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Biggest Letdown: The House
Most Underrated Film: Ghost in the Shell
Most Overrated Film: Wonder Woman
Film I'm Most Excited to see in the 2nd half of 2017: The Disaster Artist
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