DCU Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank franchises, actors/director's filmographies, etc. from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the polarizing DC Extended Universe. 

8.Man of Steel (D)
7.Wonder Woman (C)
6.Shazam! (C+)
5.Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-)
4.Suicide Squad (B)
3.Justice League (B+)
2.Aquaman (B+)
1.Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (A-)

Top Dog: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
The love I have for Birds of Prey was only further solidified upon a second viewing in theaters in late February. Cathy Yan pulled off what all directors should aim to do when they take on a project: made something that embodies the spirit of its protagonist from start to finish. The action is brutal, the humor is snarky, the visuals are bright and Margot Robbie is an unstoppable force that makes Quinn as lovable as a devious criminal psychopath could possibly be.

Lowlight: Man of Steel (2013)
As you can see from the rankings above, the two most popular DC punching bags (Suicide Squad, Batman v. Superman) are films I enjoy to a certain extent. Suicide Squad has a number of very engaging characters (Will Smith's Deadshot, Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, Jai Courtney's Captain Boomerang, Jay Hernandez's El Diablo) that light up the screen every moment they're on it and despite its significant shortcomings in the writing department, Batman v. Superman is ambitious and well-acted enough for me to respect to a certain degree. Just about all of the real vitriol I have towards films in this frequently frowned upon megafranchise is aimed at Man of Steel.

At the time of release, I was pretty much convinced that Man of Steel was going to be incredible.  Christopher Nolan, fresh off his Dark Knight trilogy, had a hand in the development of the story and after starting out his career by directing Dawn of the Dead/300/Watchmen/Sucker Punch, I flat-out worshipped Zack Snyder. After attending a midnight IMAX screening on the night it opened, I felt like a total stooge for having such a high degree of faith in this project. It felt like it was about 8 hours long, the action scenes look like they were shot from a blimp in the middle of a tornado and the acting, particularly Henry Cavill's sleepy take on Superman and the hysterical scenery-chewing of Michael Shannon's General Zod, is painful to watch. I'm completely comfortable saying that this the worst superhero movie I've seen short of Catwoman and Ang Lee's Hulk.

Most Inexplicable Success Story: Justice League (2017)
On paper, Justice League seemed destined to go down as a failure. Warner Brothers ordered rewrites to lighten up the tone after the negative response to the unrelenting darkness of Batman v. Superman and a family tragedy caused director Zack Snyder to be replaced by Joss Whedon during the early stages of the post-production process-which included pretty significant reshoots. Outside of some really weak jokes that were clearly written by Whedon, Justice League was a very enjoyable movie that showed no evidence of its difficult production. While it may not ever get mistaken for a game-changer in the superhero genre, it's an energetic, refreshingly streamlined team-up flick that's a lot more fun than about half of the MCU projects out there.

Least Deserving of Mass Praise: Shazam! (2019)
From production troubles to unfocused scripts, messiness has kind of become synonymous with the DC Universe in its early stages. Oddly enough, I feel like one of their few acclaimed, behind the scenes drama-free projects is easily the biggest clusterfuck they've ever produced. Shazam! features a cartoonish villain (Mark Strong) that runs around with an army of legimately eerie demon henchmen and hops between being a goofy, family-friendly superhero origin story surrounding a teenager (Asher Angel) who suddenly gains the ability to morph into an adult superhero (Zachary Levi) and a dour melodrama about said teenager's traumatic childhood spent in the foster care system. These drastic tonal swings create a major identity problem that makes Shazam! more frustrating than entertaining.

Best Remake of Captain America: The First Avenger: Wonder Woman (2017)
DC was having some trouble connecting with audiences after the lukewarm responses of Batman v. Superman and Suicide Squad , so why not follow the blueprint of beloved Marvel classic Captain America: The First Avenger to win people over?!?!. From the World War I Setting to the forced love story to the unbelievably cheesy villains, every element of 2011's most stunningly mediocre origin story is here along with a greater dose of slo-mo-fueled action scenes and comprehensive anonymity to spice things up a bit!

Do I Give A Shit About the Snyder Cut of Justice League?: Not Really

I have no problem just ignoring the cringey jokes and pretending that the theatrical version was entirely his vision. Plus I'm still not even if it actually exists and the vocal demand for its release continues to be really hilarious to me.