Nicolas Cage Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of "Ranked"-where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Nicolas Cage-whose latest project "Willy's Wonderland" hits VOD services on Friday.

Nicolas Cage's Filmography Ranked:

26.Adaptation. (D-)

25.Next (D)

24.Season of the Witch (D)

23.Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (D+) 

22.Windtalkers (C-)

21.Ghost Rider (C)

20.Teen Titans! Go to the Movies (C+) 

19.Red Rock West (B-)

18.Primal (B-)

17.The Croods (B-)

16.Color Out of Space (B-)

15.Leaving Las Vegas (B-)

14.Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (B)

13.Snowden (B)

12.Mom and Dad (B)

11.National Treasure (B)

10.Drive Angry (B)

9.National Treasure: Book of Secrets (B+)

8.Lord of War (B+)

7.Gone in 60 Seconds (B+)

6.Face/Off (B+)

5.Raising Arizona (B+)

4.The Rock (B+)

3.Con Air (A-)

2.Mandy (A)

1.Kick-Ass (A)

Top Dog: Kick-Ass (2010)

Matthew Vaughn provided the world with the first mainstream R-rated "superhero" movie back in 2010 and nearly 11 years later, nothing from the subsequent surge of films that meet that criteria has been able to match the brilliance of Kick-Ass. With its darkly comedic snark, morally dubious yet highly entertaining characters and brutal action scenes, Vaughn created a colorful, grime-ridden world where vigilante heroes and maniacal unchecked criminal figures are able to thrive together in beautifully chaotic harmony.    

Lowlight: Adaptation. (2002)

Adaptation. is the type of smug, self-satisfied arthouse garbage that could've only come from the mind of someone with the ego and inflated view of their own intelligence that film snob god Charlie Kaufman possesses. Everything from the meta elements about the difficulties of adapting a screenplay from someone else's work down to the nose-thumbing at perceived "lesser" genres like thrillers that drives the latter portion of the movie is so relentlessly masturbatory that it made me want to vomit and somehow get in touch with Kaufman just so I could personally tell him to fuck off for being such a condescending prick.        

Most Underrated: Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

The final entry in Cage's delightful action blockbuster run of the late 90's/early 2000's is a borderline classic piece of dumb fun with great car chases/heist sequences, wall-to-wall energy and a plethora of game performances from talented performers (Giovanni Ribisi, Angelina Jolie, Delroy Lindo, Chi McBride, Timothy Olyphant, Will Patton, Robert Duvall, Christopher Eccleston, Vinnie Jones) who knew exactly what type of movie Gone in 60 Seconds was aiming to be.

Most Overrated: Adaptation. (2002)

Charlie Kaufman is a pretentious clown and this self-absorbed shitpile of a movie represents him at his most insufferable.  

Most Nicolas Cage-Friendly Movie: Mandy (2018)

It's no secret that Cage has a tendency to seek out the wildest projects possible, but even for an actor with a filmography where nuttiness is the norm-Mandy stands out. Part surrealist romance, part revenge/vigilante splatterfest,-Mandy is a singularly bonkers movie elevated by Cage's ability to tackle unhinged rage and quiet moments of visible grief with equal proficiency, stunning psychedelic visuals that adds a layer of visceral beauty to a story that's overflowing with grotesque ugliness and a dread-filled score from the late Johan Johannsson that complements the insanity on screen perfectly.          

Greatest 90's Action Movie: Con Air (1997)

Con Air sincerely may be the greatest piece of big budget B-action insanity ever made. The plot is an absurd, tongue-in-cheek masterpiece (a group of dangerous inmates hijack the plane they're being transferred to a new supermax prison on), the primary actors (Cage, John Malkovich, John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney, Danny Trejo, M.C. Gainey, Mykelti Williamson) deliver nothing but flawless overacting and above all, the insanely over-the-top highlight reel moments that makes types of movies so fun hit with impressive frequency until the credits roll. 

Movie That Was in Desperate Need of More Cage Mania: Next (2007)

The synopsis for Next reads like the perfect bonkers Cage movie: A small-time Las Vegas magician (Cage) who can see 2 minutes into the future is tasked by an FBI agent (Julianne Moore) to foil a Russian terrorist syndicate from detonating a nuclear weapon in downtown Los Angeles. To put it lightly, the potential of that nutso premise isn't even close to being fully realized. Next is a sloppy, overly serious movie with a bafflingly stoic turn from Cage and far too prominent of an emphasis on a corny romantic subplot involving a woman (Jessica Biel) Cage's character is forced to track down that derails any chance of fun arriving on the scene to liven up this dull mess.