N/A: Chicago (2002):
There was no less than five times last summer when Chicago was available on HBO Max that I logged on with the intention of watching it so I could inch closer to completing the thankless self-imposed goal of seeing every Best Picture winner that had been released since 2000 (at the time, it was one of the two I'd yet to see). Ultimately, I just couldn't muster up the nerve to sit through a musical during a time that was already so devoid of joy, so that now final remaining box on the list is going to stay unchecked for the time being.
19.The King's Speech (2010):
Without question, the most boring, cheesy and shamelessly manipulative piece of garbage awards bait to take home Best Picture during this time period. The only thing shittier than the movie itself is the fact that it beat out several legit masterpieces (Black Swan, Inception, The Fighter, The Social Network) for the Oscar.
Grade: D
18.A Beautiful Mind (2001):
A Beautiful Mind walked, so The King's Speech could run. Even if the film didn't treat schizophrenia like it was some kind of cute personality quirk instead of a serious mental illness, it's comical distortion of the facts which most notably includes shaping the plot around John Nash's struggle with increasingly severe visual hallucinations-which he never dealt with and making his Salvadoran immigrant wife white, lackadaisical pacing and an onslaught of forced, corny melodrama would be more than enough to make it an insufferable disaster.
Grade: D
17.The Artist (2011):
This ode to Hollywood's early years of black-and-white, silent movies went on a dominant awards run then quickly faded away from the collective consciousness shortly after it had completed collecting gold statues from around the globe. As someone who found The Artist to be an aggressively mediocre product that was aimed at a very niche wing of the cinephile crowd, I can't say that I'm particularly surprised that it went onto suffer this fate.
Grade: C
16.Crash (2005):
Crash deserves plenty of heat for how it uses a string of contrived, racism-fueled incidents as the connective tissue in its interwoven narrative, but the acting is collectively strong enough for it to preserve a degree of watchability underneath all of its haphazardly-assembled social commentary.
Grade: C+
15.Slumdog Millionaire (2008):
An overly idealistic and melodramatic film about the overwhelming class prejudice present in India's caste system (this year's The White Tiger does a much better job of exploring similar themes) that Dev Patel singularly elevates out of mediocrity with the terrific lead performance that helped launch his career.
Grade: C+
14.The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003):
Never forget the start of the Peter Jackson overindulgence era. Jackson managed to significantly undercut the impact of the final chapter of his otherwise sweeping epic trilogy by tacking on an additional hour of useless dialogue scenes after the franchise-driving mission of destroying Sauron's ring in the fires of Mount Doom had been completed.
Grade: B-
13.12 Years a Slave (2013):
A pretty poor final act that is far too reliant on Michael Fassbender's embarrassingly overdone performance as a vicious plantation owner to manufacture drama and introduces a comically on-the-nose, Christlike figure (Brad Pitt) who eventually helps orchestrate Solomon Northup's (Chiwetel Ejiofor) release prevents Steve McQueen's biopic from hitting the gut-wrenching, impeccably acted greatness it displays in its earlier stages.
Grade: B
12.Moonlight (2016):
While I'm long overdue for a rewatch (I haven't seen it since its initial theatrical run), for now I'm still of the opinion that Moonlight is very overrated. Despite being a well-acted, sensitive film that has some very powerful scenes, I feel like Barry Jenkins storytelling approach was too subdued to really convey the raw emotions and humanity that drive Chiron's (Alex Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, Trevante Rhodes) journey of discovering, obscuring and then eventually accepting his sexuality.
Grade: B
11.Green Book (2018):
It's pretty odd that a low stakes crowdpleaser like this managed to secure the top prize in the world of movies-particularly when the frontrunner that year (Roma) had won the majority of the other big awards and received much better reviews. That being said, Green Book is a charming, compelling buddy dramedy with a pair of terrific performances from Viggo Mortensen and Mahershala Ali and a nice message about two men overcoming their respective prejudices and misconceptions about one another to become friends.
Grade: B+
10.The Shape of Water (2017):
Only a director with the skill and creative confidence of Guillermo del Toro could turn a movie about a mute woman (Sally Hawkins) who falls in love with a fish/man hybrid (Doug Jones) that's being held at the government facility where she works as a cleaner into a spellbindingly beautiful tale that warms the heart more than the overwhelming majority of the more conventional entries in the romance genre.
Grade: B+
9.Birdman (or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014):
Unapologetically indulgent and directed, shot and acted with an astonishing degree of technical precision, Birdman is the arthouse equivalent of a dazzling yet ultimately hollow piece of popcorn entertainment.
Grade: B+
8.Argo (2012):
Ben Affleck's prior genre movie efforts made him the perfect director to handle such a wild true story. He nails the balance of thriller tension and goofy comedy that this CIA hostage rescue mission disguised as a movie production plot calls for and the actors (Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Tate Donovan, Bryan Cranston, Clea DuVall, Kyle Chandler, Chris Messina, Victor Garber, himself) couldn't have been better cast.
Grade: B+
7.Million Dollar Baby (2004):
Lord knows I love a sappy, tragic sports drama and thanks to the grounded performances from the top billed actors (Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood) and Eastwood's steady direction, Million Dollar Baby ends up being a very special entry into that genre.
Grade: A-
6.Spotlight (2015):
As both a horrifying expose of the lengths that the Catholic Church has gone to cover up the widespread sexual abuse perpetrated by their priests and a reminder of the power that top-notch investigative journalism can have on the world, Spotlight is an unforgettable triumph that deserves every accolade it received.
Grade: A-
5.Parasite (2019):
The Academy couldn't have picked a much better film to be their first ever non-English language Best Picture honoree. Bong Joon-Ho expertly blends together a wide variety of genres (black comedy, drama thriller, crime, satire) to make an intelligent, insanely entertaining and consistently unpredictable exploration of class division that requires multiple viewings to fully unpack.
Grade: A-
4.Gladiator (2000):
This is the teenager in me speaking since I haven't seen Gladiator in almost 15 years. Every memory I have of this absurdly over-the-top Ancient Rome soap opera is beautiful and I'm horribly afraid that this deep reverence will fade away with a rewatch as an adult, but alas here I am on the eve of my 29th birthday placing it above shit I've seen recently like Parasite and Spotlight that I'm completely confident are excellent movies. Nostalgia is a hell of a force people...
Grade: A
3.The Hurt Locker (2009):
The Hurt Locker is the increasingly rare war film that is something other than pure USA propaganda (American Sniper, 13 Hours, 12 Strong) or a hollow technical exercise (Dunkirk, 1917, Fury) that's solely designed to show the visceral horrors of combat. The characters are fully-fleshed out individuals with different personalities, personal struggles and views on the conflict they're involved in, the combat scenes are harrowing without ever feeling like they've been purposefully exaggerated for the sake of dramatic intrigue and most importantly, every solider is treated as a person whose only goal is to complete their job without going home in a casket instead of just being a faceless, flag-waving heroic cog in the big military machine. Considering the increasingly polarizing cultural landscape, it's entirely possible that we'll never see a film that treats war in such a realistic and non-political way ever again.
Grade: A
2.No Country for Old Men (2007):
The Coen Brothers set a new high watermark in their illustrious careers with this moody, unsettlingly tense modern western that is full of captivating outlaws, good old fashioned moral ambiguity and no positive outcomes for any of the parties involved.
Grade: A
1.The Departed (2006):
The Departed epitomizes perfection in the world of gangster movies in the same way that The Godfather and Goodfellas did before it. It's an engrossing, gritty and exquisitely written/acted/directed film that remains a jaw-dropping powerhouse with each subsequent viewing.
(Bonus useless fun fact: This is the only time since I've been alive that my favorite movie of the year also won Best Picture.)
Grade: A+
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