Justin Theroux Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Justin Theroux-whose latest project "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice" is in theaters now. 

Justin Theroux's Filmography Ranked:

(Note: I've also seen Mullholland Drive, but I was 16 or 17 when I watched it and it's become increasingly clear that I didn't understand it at all, so I'm not comfortable rating it here)

16.False Positive (D+)

15.Duplex (C-)

14.Zoolander 2 (C)

13.Your Highness (C)

12.Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (C)

11.The Lego Ninjago Movie (B-)

10.Megamind (B-)

9.Wanderlust (B-)

8.The Spy Who Dumped Me (B)

7.Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (B)

6.The Girl on the Train (B+)

5.Bumblebee (B+)

4.Tropic Thunder (B+)

3.Miami Vice (A-)

2.Zoolander (A)

1.American Psycho (A)

Top Dog: American Psycho (2000)

Anchored by an incendiary Christian Bale performance that remains a career highlight of his and exceptional script from director Mary Herron and Guinevere Turner that delivers scathing satire on America's obsession with vanity and consumerism, American Psycho is a darkly comedic masterpiece that has aged beautifully.    

Bottom Feeder: False Positive (2021)

With False Positive, Ilana Glazer and veteran TV comedy director/writer John Lee-who worked with Glazer on Broad City-proved they are way out of their depths in the realm of horror. This A24-backed project that got sold off to Hulu as a result of some COVID-driven release reshuffling doesn't come where anywhere close to living up to its aspirations to be a modern feminist take on Rosemary's Baby. Glazer is remarkably stiff in the lead role, the attempts at building psychological terror and/or delivering jump scares are awkward to the point where it's not clear if Lee has even seen a horror movie before and the ending is so abysmal that it's almost breathtaking.The only thing in False Positive that does work is Pierce Brosnan, who weaponizes his signature charm to play a renowned fertility doctor who harbors some sinister secrets, but it would've taken about a dozen more performances like this for the film to overcome the suffocating grasp of its amateurish framework.         

Most Underrated: The Girl on the Train (2016)

The Girl on the Train is one of the better films to come out of the post-Gone Girl boom of twisty, soapy mystery thrillers based on bestselling novels. Emily Blunt is sensational as a depressed, binge-drinking divorcee who gets embroiled in a salacious missing persons investigation involving the nanny (Hayley Bennett) of her ex-husband's (Theroux) child with his new wife (Rebecca Ferguson) that she secretly spies on from a commuter train every day, Tate Taylor deftly balances the pulpy elements of the story with the serious ones and the parade of twists-some expected, some not-lead to a very satisfying finale. 

Most Overrated: Megamind (2010)

Dreamworks Animation has been a notoriously erratic operation since its inception in 1994. Megamind falls into what might be the least exciting and smallest portion of their catalog: competent but forgettable. I actually only saw Megamind for the first time 2 years ago and I've already forgotten damn near everything about it other than its pretty inspired plot twist and the top 4 members of the voice cast (Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill). Other than that, it's nothing more than an undemanding watch that does a fine enough job of goofing on supervillain/superhero tropes.    

Most Inexplicable, Soul-Crushing Letdown: Zoolander 2 (2016)

Zoolander is one of my favorite comedies ever, so when the news came out that Ben Stiller, Theroux, Owen Wilson and the rest of the core creative team from the original were returning to make a sequel, I was thrilled. Everybody's hearts seemed to be in it, they added some great talent to the cast (Penelope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen) and the trailers were hilarious. What could possibly go wrong? Turns out, quite a bit! The movie just simply lacked the infectious goofy spark of the original and the laughs were far more sporadic as a result. It's baffling how the movie turned out to be so average, but alas, it did and the sting of the disappointment from its failure to deliver will come rushing back whenever I think about or hear it mentioned somewhere.