2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 13

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Detroit Lions (10-1) Week 13 opponent: Chicago Bears

2.(2) Buffalo Bills (9-2) Week 13 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

3.(3) Kansas City Chiefs (10-1) Week 13 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

4.(6) Green Bay Packers (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Miami Dolphins

5.(7) Philadelphia Eagles (9-2) Week 13 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

6.(5) Minnesota Vikings (9-2) Week 13 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

7.(8) Baltimore Ravens (8-4) Week 13 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

8.(4) Pittsburgh Steelers (8-3) Week 13 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

9.(9) Los Angeles Chargers (7-4) Week 13 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

10.(13) Denver Broncos (7-5) Week 13 opponent: Cleveland Browns

11.(11) Washington Commanders (7-5) Week 13 opponent: Tennessee Titans

12.(12) Houston Texans (7-5) Week 13 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars

13.(10) Arizona Cardinals (6-5) Week 13 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

14.(18) Miami Dolphins (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Green Bay Packers

15.(19) Seattle Seahawks (5-6) Week 13 opponent: New York Jets

16.(16) Atlanta Falcons (6-5) Week 13 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

17.(17) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Carolina Panthers

18.(15) Los Angeles Rams (5-6) Week 13 opponent: New Orleans Saints

19.(14) San Francisco 49ers (5-6) Week 13 opponent: Buffalo Bills

20.(20) Cincinnati Bengals (4-7) Week 13 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

21.(21) Indianapolis Colts (5-7) Week 13 opponent: New England Patriots

22.(22) New Orleans Saints (4-7) Week 13 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

23.(23) Chicago Bears (4-7) Week 13 opponent: Detroit Lions

24.(28) Dallas Cowboys (4-7) Week 13 opponent: New York Giants

25.(25) New York Jets (3-8) Week 13 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

26.(27) Cleveland Browns (3-8) Week 13 opponent: Denver Broncos

27.(26) Carolina Panthers (3-8) Week 13 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

28.(29) Tennessee Titans (3-8) Week 13 opponent: Washington Commanders

29.(23) New England Patriots (3-9) Week 13 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

30.(30) Las Vegas Raiders (2-9) Week 13 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

31.(31) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-9) Week 13 opponent: Houston Texans

32.(32) New York Giants (2-9) Week 13 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

Week 12 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Jayden Daniels (Commanders)

For most of Sunday's divisional clash with the Cowboys, Daniels looked like he was headed for the bottom half of this section. Then the dust settled following a comically chaotic 4th quarter and the Commanders rookie QB had suddenly stuffed the stat sheet (275 YDS, 2 TD's 7 CAR, 74 YDS, TD, 2-PT CNV) and subsequently erased the sting of the 2 early INT's he threw in the process. Daniels has a date with the Titans in Week 13.  

Honorable Mentions: Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs), Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

LVP: Jared Goff (Lions) (269 YDS)

Goff was his usual efficient self in a victory over the Colts, completing 26 of his 36 passing attempts for 269 YDS. However, he failed to find the endzone all day as his running backs accounted for all 3 touchdowns they scored and thus, put up an unexpected fantasy stinker in a terrific matchup. He'll be a questionable starting option against a Bears pass D that has been (mostly) very good this year.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Kyler Murray (Cardinals), Jordan Love (Packers), Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

Running Back

MVP: Saquon Barkley (Eagles)

This wasn't just one of the best performances of Barkley's career, it was one of the best RB performances in NFL history. Barkley carried the Eagles offense on his back in a dominant win over the Rams, rushing for 255 YDS and 2 TD's (both of which were 70+ YDS!) on 26 carries and catching 4 passes for 47 YDS. They'll need him to show up big again this week when they travel to Baltimore for a huge showdown with the Ravens.  

Honorable Mentions: Josh Jacobs (Packers), Jahmyr Gibbs (Lions), Tony Pollard (Titans)

LVP: Jonathan Taylor (Colts)

Negative gamescript and a stout Lions front prevented Taylor from being a factor in this one as he gained only 35 YDS on 11 carries. Taylor should fare much better this week against a soft Patriots run D that just got torched by De'Von Achane. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Christian McCaffery (49ers), Joe Mixon (Texans), Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots)

Wide Receiver 

MVP: Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

Denver's top receiver showed up in a big way for a divisional clash with the Raiders, catching 8-of-10 targets for 97 YDS and a pair of scores. Sutton has been a strong WR2 since he posted that ugly 0 target donut in Week 7 against the Saints and with Bo Nix looking much better of late than he did at the start of the year, he should be able to hold down that role for the duration of the fantasy stretch run. 

Honorable Mentions: D.J. Moore (Bears), Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins), A.J. Brown (Eagles)

LVP: Justin Jefferson (Vikings) 

What a weird afternoon it was at Soldier Field on Sunday as Sam Darnold had his best passing day as a Viking, Jordan Addison had the best game of his career and Justin Jeferson caught just 2 passes for 27 YDS (and the second one wasn't until their game-winning drive in OT). Jefferson will look to snap his 5-game scoreless streak against a decent Cardinals pass defense in Week 13. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Deebo Samuel (49ers), Jayden Reed (Packers), Quentin Johnston (Chargers)

Tight End

MVP: Jonnu Smith (Dolphins)

Did somebody say Jonnu Smith revenge game? Really, no one did? Well, they should've because he stuck it to the Patriots on Sunday-catching 9 passes for 87 YDS and a TD. Smith has emerged as one of Tua's favorite targets over the past few weeks and with the short passing game becoming super important to the Dolphins offense now that Tyreek Hill is clearly laboring through multiple injuries, there's no reason to believe that he can't remain a fixture in the passing game moving forward.  

Honorable Mentions: Trey McBride (Cardinals), George Kittle (49ers), T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

LVP: David Njoku (Browns)

Blinding lake effect snow put a real damper on the passing attacks in the Steelers/Browns game last Thursday night and nobody felt that struggle more than Njoku-who caught his lone target of the evening for 9 YDS in a huge upset victory for the now 3-8 Browns. Njoku will look to get back on track against a Commanders defense that allowed Cowboys backup TE Luke Schoonmaker to rip off a 3/55/1 performance last week. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Sam LaPorta (Lions), Cade Otton (Buccaneers), Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Texans

Nothing says great fantasy day for a D/ST quite like allowing 30 points and still winning MVP. The Texans became the latest team to pull off this pretty rare feat by sacking Will Levis 8 times, recovering 2 fumbles and getting a pick 6 in what ended up being one of the weirder games played on a weekend full of weird games. The Texans have another plus divisional matchup this week against the Mac Jones-led Jaguars.  

Honorable Mentions: Broncos, Dolphins, Buccaneers

LVP: 49ers

The undermanned 49ers defense got absolutely smacked around by the Packers, surrendering 38 points while only managing 2 sacks and 0 takeaways against a struggling Jordan Love in a humiliating loss at Lambeau. Things aren't going to get any easier for the 49ers this week as they have to take on a scorching hot Bills team on the road.     

Dishonorable Mentions: Chiefs, Commanders, Ravens

Ben Stiller Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Ben Stiller-whose latest project "Nutcrackers" debuts on Hulu this Friday. 

Ben Stiller's Filmography Ranked:

27.School for Scoundrels (C-)

26.Duplex (C-)

25.Little Fockers (C)

24.Hubie Halloween (C)

23.Zoolander 2 (C)

22.Locked Down (C)

21.Keeping the Faith (C)

20.The Heartbreak Kid (C+)

19.The Royal Tenenbaums (C+)

18.Reality Bites (B-)

17.Heavyweights (B-)

16.Megamind (B-)

15.Night at the Museum (B-)

14.The Watch (B-)

13.Tower Heist (B-)

12.Mystery Men (B)

11.Meet the Fockers (B)

10.Starsky & Hutch (B)

9.Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (B)

8.There's Something About Mary (B+)

7.Along Came Polly (B+)

6.The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (B+)

5.Tropic Thunder (B+)

4.Meet the Parents (A)

3.Zoolander (A)

2.Happy Gilmore (A)

1.Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (A+)

Top Dog: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

1/3 of the holy trinity of 2000's absurdist comedy masterpieces (Hot Rod and Wet Hot American Summer round out this divine bunch), Anchorman is a relentlessly side-splitting affair that sees a team of comedy all-stars headed up by Will Ferell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell and Fred Willard putting up Jordan numbers for 90 straight minutes.    

Bottom Feeder: School for Scoundrels (2007)

School for Scoundrels is probably the weakest effort from Todd Phillips' past life as a comedy director.  Jon Heder doesn't have the gravitas or range required to handle a role that sees him alternating between passive nerd, assertive tough guy and sensitive romantic lead, Billy Bob Thornton is just doing a weaker version of the vulgar, curmudgeon prick routine he did in Bad Santa and The Bad News Bears, and it commits the ultimate sin of being instantly forgettable. 

Most Underrated: Along Came Polly (2004)

A gross out romantic comedy isn't an overly novel concept. Hell, The Farrelly Brothers built a whole damn brand off of this very specific genre hybrid! What makes Along Came Polly work despite its familiar conceit is the incredible, borderline head-scratching commitment from its primary cast. There's really no way in hell any of this works if the likes of Stiller, Jennifer Aniston and Phillip Seymour Hoffmann didn't show up and turn these characters that aren't overly exciting on the page into weird, endearing oddballs occupying a world where sweetness lives alongside sophomoric hijinks in a state of beautifully nonsensical bliss.      

Most Overrated: The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

One of these days I'll revisit all of the Wes Anderson films I saw before 2015 or so to figure out if I really harbor negative feelings towards them or simply just didn't understand or appreciate them at the time. Based on how I've felt about the Anderson films I have seen since then; the answer is a true coin flip. The Royal Tenenbaums will be a particularly interesting test since it's pretty widely viewed as his best film, but right now, I believe it's one of his more brazenly obnoxious pieces of work. The characters are all peak quirky Anderson caricatures and watching them interact for 2 hours is like being trapped in a conversation with the smuggest, least interesting motherfucker at a Harvard alumni luncheon.       

Michelle Yeoh Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Michelle Yeoh-whose latest project "Wicked" is in theaters now. 

Michelle Yeoh's Filmography Ranked:

17.Sunshine (D+)

16.Babylon A.D. (C-)

15.Minions: The Rise of Gru (C+)

14.Mechanic: Resurrection (C+)

13.Last Christmas (C+)

12.Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 (C+)

11.Master Z: Ip Man Legacy (B-)

10.Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (B-)

9.A Haunting in Venice (B-)

8.Crazy Rich Asians (B-)

7.Tomorrow Never Dies (B-)

6.Kung Fu Panda 2 (B)

5.Gunpowder Milkshake (B)

4.Fearless (B)

3.Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (B)

2.Everything Everywhere All at Once (B+)

1.Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (A-)

Top Dog: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Excluding its awful standard issue CGI clusterfuck finale, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is a triumph that ranks among the MCU's finest hours. The mix of traditional superhero origin story with Hong Kong martial arts influences and Chinese mythology is seamless and exciting, Tony Leung's The Mandarin is a commanding villain that boasts real emotional depth and the character development for Shang-Chi is easily the strongest of any post-Endgame MCU movie. Hopefully the previously announced sequel will actually materialize at some point over the next few years.            

Bottom Feeder: Sunshine (2007)

Sunshine is once again getting some pop in the terminally online cinephile community in the wake of Chris Evans'-who is a frequent target of said community given his inclination to prioritize money over quality in his role selection since hitting the big time with his role as Steve Rodgers/Captain America in the MCU-recent red carpet comments about the quality of the movies he's making not mattering to him. While I don't necessarily disagree with the premise that Evans has ventured into "sellout" territory over the past decade or so, I vehemently disagree with the take that Sunshine is an example of a shining moment in his career. I actually think the ensemble psychological sci-fi thriller that also stars Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Hiroyuki Sanada and Yeoh is a deeply silly snoozefest that is probably the worst Danny Boyle joint that I've seen (Note: The Boyle films I haven't seen are Yesterday, The Beach, Millions and A Life Less Ordinary).     

Most Underrated: Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)

While not among the best noir-inspired assassin action flicks that have emerged in the wake of John Wick's success, Gunpowder Milkshake remains a fun little movie. The action sequences are full of quirky little choices that make them standout (Hammer fights! Karen Gillan fighting people in an office chair with paralyzed arms! A bowling alley setpiece that makes incredible use of its setting!), Michael Seresin's cinematography radiates a slick neon aura that matches the colorful grimy sheen that drives the film's criminal underworld, and it honors the rugged spirit of the genre by making great use of performers (Carla Gugino, Angela Bassett, Yeoh, Paul Giamatti, Ralph Ineson) whose gifts aren't always properly displayed in more "serious" projects.  

Most Overrated: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 (2017)

It does need to be noted that I haven't seen in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 in a long time and that the film could grow on me with a rewatch. But for now, I view it as a disjointed, overly melodramatic affair that only rarely conjures up the magic of the other two films in the trilogy. 

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 12

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(2) Detroit Lions (9-1) Week 12 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

2.(3) Buffalo Bills (9-2) Week 12 opponent: Bye

3.(1) Kansas City Chiefs (9-1) Week 12 opponent: Carolina Panthers

4.(7) Pittsburgh Steelers (8-2) Week 12 opponent: Cleveland Browns

5.(5) Minnesota Vikings (8-2) Week 12 opponent: Chicago Bears

6.(6) Green Bay Packers (7-3) Week 12 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

7.(8) Philadelphia Eagles (8-2) Weel 12 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

8.(4) Baltimore Ravens (7-4) Week 12 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers 

9.(11) Los Angeles Chargers (7-3) Week 12 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

10.(10) Arizona Cardinals (6-4) Week 12 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

11.(9) Washington Commanders (7-4) Week 12 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

12.(14) Houston Texans (7-4) Week 12 opponent: Tennessee Titans

13.(17) Denver Broncos (6-5) Week 12 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

14.(12) San Francisco 49ers (5-5) Week 12 opponent: Green Bay Packers

15.(18) Los Angeles Rams (5-5) Week 12 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

16.(13) Atlanta Falcons (6-5) Week 12 opponent: Bye

17.(16) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-6) Week 12 opponent: New York Giants

18.(19) Miami Dolphins (4-6) Week 12 opponent: New England Patriots

19.(20) Seattle Seahawks (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

20.(15) Cincinnati Bengals (4-7) Week 12 opponent: Bye

21.(21) Indianapolis Colts (5-6) Week 12 opponent: Detroit Lions

22.(24) New Orleans Saints (4-7) Week 12 opponent: Bye

23.(22) Chicago Bears (4-6) Week 12 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

24.(23) New England Patriots (3-7) Week 12 opponent: Miami Dolphins

25.(25) New York Jets (3-8) Week 12 opponent: Bye

26.(27) Carolina Panthers (3-7) Week 12 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

27.(26) Cleveland Browns (2-8) Week 12 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

28.(28) Dallas Cowboys (3-7) Week 12 opponent: Washington Commanders

29.(31) Tennessee Titans (2-8) Week 12 opponent: Houston Texans

30.(29) Las Vegas Raiders (2-8) Week 12 opponent: Denver Broncos

31.(30) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-9) Week 12 opponent: Bye

32.(32) New York Giants (2-8) Week 12 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

Week 11 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Jared Goff (Lions)

A relative cold streak for Goff came to an abrupt stop in Week 11 as he absolutely dismantled the lethargic Jaguars (412 YDS, 4 TD's, 21 Rushing YDS) in what very well could've been the most lopsided game played in the NFL so far this season. Goff will try and keep rolling against a poor Colts defense in Week 12.  

Honorable Mentions: Joe Burrow (Bengals), Bo Nix (Broncos), Matthew Stafford (Rams)

LVP: C.J. Stroud (Texans)

Stroud was once again average-to-below-average in a potential breakout spot, throwing for 257 scoreless YDS, adding another 26 on the ground and chucking an INT against the porous Cowboys. He's indisputably in the midst of a sophomore slump and should be viewed as a QB2 the rest of the way. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Kirk Cousins (Falcons), Jayden Daniels (Commanders), Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

Running Back

MVP: Joe Mixon (Texans)

With Stroud refusing to light it up in a cupcake matchup with the Cowboys, it was up to Mixon to power the Texans offense to victory, and he met the moment gracefully with 20/109/3 on the ground and 2/44 as a receiver. After this performance, Mixon now has 6 100+ YD performances and has scored at least 1 TD in every game he's finished this season. He'll be a top 5 RB1 play for this Sunday's divisional clash with the Titans.     

Honorable Mentions: Saquon Barkley (Eagles), David Montgomery (Lions), Breece Hall (Jets)

LVP: Tony Pollard (Titans)

For the 2nd straight week, an elite defensive front completely eliminated Pollard from the game as the Titans back gained just 29 YDS on 11 touches (9 carries, 2 receptions) against the Vikings. Things will only get slightly easier for Pollard this week as Titans are set to take on a Texans team that has allowed the 6th least fantasy points to RB's this season.

Dishonorable Mentions: Aaron Jones (Vikings), Travis Etienne (Jaguars), Nick Chubb (Browns)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions)

While still performing at a WR1 level, St. Brown had only one excellent performance over his past seven games coming into this week. Those figures are now up to two out of his last eight as St. Brown had his best game of 2024 against the Jaguars, reeling in 11 catches for 161 YDS and 2 TD's. St. Brown has a date with the Colts in the Week 12.

Honorable Mentions: Cooper Kupp (Rams), Tee Higgins (Bengals), Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

LVP: Terry McLaurin (Commanders)

McLaurin was in HELL last Thursday night as he struggled to get open against the Eagles upstart secondary. Unsurprisingly, his consistent lack of separation led to him logging season lows in receptions (1), YDS (10) and targets (2) as the Commanders suffered a tough divisional loss. He should get back into the good graces of his fantasy managers this week against a checked out, banged-up Cowboys squad.   

Dishonorable Mentions: Garrett Wilson (Jets), Deebo Samuel (49ers), DeAndre Hopkins (Chiefs)

Tight End

MVP: Taysom Hill (Saints)

Anybody who streamed Hill as an injury replacement for George Kittle, Sam LaPorta or Dalton Kincaid was handed quite the gift. The Mormon Missile was at the peak of versatile powers on Sunday against the Browns, throwing for 18 YDS, catching 8 passes for 50 YDS and rushing for 138 YDS and 3 TD's on just 7 carries. He also threw a pick and lost a fumble, but that doesn't really matter when he's stuffing the stat sheet like this. This will go down as a legendary performance that helped swing a lot of games and makes for an incredible addition to the already rich lore of a true folk hero in this silly game.  

Honorable Mentions: Jonnu Smith (Dolphins), Brock Bowers (Raiders), David Njoku (Browns)

LVP: Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

Kirk Cousins played like absolute shit against the Broncos on Sunday afternoon and unsurprisingly, Pitts suffered the most out of the Falcons top targets-being held to just 1 catch for 9 YDS on 3 targets. Their Week 12 bye couldn't be arriving at a better time for Pitts and his offensive cohorts as they've really hit a wall over the past couple games after a pretty strong stretch from Weeks 4-9.     

Dishonorable Mentions: T.J. Hockenson (Vikings), Pat Friermuth (Steelers), Mark Andrews (Ravens)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Texans

In a development that should shock no one, the Cooper Rush-led Cowboys got obliterated by the Texans ferocious defense. DeMeco Ryans' group secured 5 sacks, an INT and a fumble recovery that they returned for a TD in an easy 34-10 win. They'll have another golden opportunity to clean up in Week 12 against the turnover-happy, pass protection-challenged Titans offense.  

Honorable Mentions: Broncos, Vikings, Lions

LVP: Chiefs

Outside of Josh Allen serving them up a gift of an INT in the second quarter, the Chiefs defense had an uncharacteristically brutal showing against the Bills-surrendering 30 points and logging 0 sacks. A Week 12 showdown with the Panthers represents a potentially incredible bounceback spot.       

Dishonorable Mentions: Chargers, Jets, Saints

Movie Review: Red One

Cycling through an array of genres (buddy, fantasy, action, comedy, family drama) in service of a story that ultimately boils down to being about a dirtbag computer hacker/degenerate gambler/deadbeat father (Chris Evans) learning to become a decent person after being recruited by the head of a mythical creatures intelligence agency (Lucy Liu) to aid Santa's top bodyguard (Dwayne Johnson) in finding out who kidnapped Ol' Saint Nick (J.K. Simmons) approximately 24 hours before his worldwide present-delivering venture on Christmas Eve, Amazon's big Christmas blockbuster Red One presents itself as a big cornucopia of multi-faceted fun. But when you crack open that big mythical horn, the feast of abundance isn't as bountiful or delightful as promised. 

All of the efforts from Johnson, his production team at Seven Bucks and hand-picked writer/director duo of Chris Morgan (Fast and Furious franchise from Tokyo Drift through Hobbs & Shaw, Shazam!: Fury of the Gods) and Jake Kasdan (both new Jumanji films, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story) to make something that checks multiple audience-friendly boxes ironically results in it missing the page entirely. What is the point of crafting a genre stew when you don't have the heart or the courage to commit to any of the ingredients individually, let alone as a cohesive whole? Without any meaningful efforts to make this wacky recipe work, all your left with is a milquetoast hodgepodge of half-baked ideas, unfilled potential and holiday cheer that has all the warmth and sincerity of a fucking Hallmark card. 

Even if it remained noncommittal to a genre and just injected a dash of Christmas with the Kranks or Jingle All the Way-esque cynical holiday depravity into the proceedings, it would've developed some much-needed personality that would've made it at least a little bit memorable. Something that at least claims to have aspirations of being an original Christmas-themed film that entertains a wide audience shouldn't be a such a big ball of nothing. Nobody is expecting something like Red One to be a bold film that challenges the conventions of mainstream filmmaking in the 2020's, but the pervasive plainness it shows with its open fear of embracing the genre-mixing that its concept invites is just plain lazy filmmaking. Will the majority of the kids that see it this holiday season enjoy it? Most likely, yes. Will most of those same kids want to watch it again next holiday season? Probably not. Dwayne and co. would probably be satisfied enough with those results if they were to materialize but making a movie that people struggle to remember by the time next November rolls around does nothing to break the memorability rut this beloved subgenre has been in since the mid 2000's.                                     

Grade: C

Lucy Liu Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Lucy Liu-whose latest project "Red One" releases in theaters today. 

Lucy Liu's Filmography Ranked:

18.Code Name: The Cleaner (D+)

17.Charlie's Angels (C)

16.Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (C)

15.Strange World (B-)

14.Shazam!: Fury of the Gods (B-)

13.Payback (B)

12.The Man with the Iron Fists (B)

11.Jerry Maguire (B)

10.Kung Fu Panda 3 (B)

9.Kung Fu Panda 2 (B)

8.Gridlock'd (B)

7.Kung Fu Panda (B)

6.Set It Up (B)

5.Shanghai Noon (B)

4.Lucky Number Slevin (B)

3.Kill Bill: Volume 2 (B)

2.Detachment (B+)

1.Kill Bill: Volume 1 (A+)

Top Dog: Kil Bill: Volume 1 (2003)

This absolutely immense piece of martial arts splatter vigilante goodness is my favorite thing Quentin Tarantino has made in the 21st century. The energy here is just relentlessly insane even by Tarantino's lofty standards, Uma Thurman's steely, simmering rage makes The Bride an elite vengeance-seeking protagonist and the Crazy 88 fight is probably the best action sequence Tarantino has ever put together. 

Bottom Feeder: Code Name: The Cleaner (2007)

The best part about Code Name: The Cleaner is that sounds like a completely made-up movie. Like what do you mean, there's a comedy where Cedric the Entertainer plays a man who wakes up in a hotel room with a dead body and has to figure out if he's a secret agent or a janitor? In a weird way, it's a peak January movie as it executes a high concept in a deeply questionable fashion, resulting in a bad movie that doesn't even have the courtesy to be memorably terrible.   

Most Underrated: Grid'locked (1997)

Tim Roth and Tupac Shakur make for a great buddy duo in this entertaining crime dramedy about a pair of heroin addicts who encounter a string of absurd hurdles as they attempt to check into rehab that ended up being Shakur's final acting role before his death. If you enjoy stuff like Trainspotting and Go, I'd encourage you to go seek this one out.   

Most Overrated: Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004)

Here's a scorcher of a take: I think this is Tarantino's worst movie besides Death Proof. As terrific as the final sequence with The Bride and Bill is, the glut of flashbacks that make up the bulk of the film's runtime kneecap the urgency of The Bride's mission. It really is a blessing that somebody forced Tarantino to split this into two films because promptly downshifting from the hyperkinetic Tokyo sequence that Volume 1 ends on to this would've sucked the life out of the room.    

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 11

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Kansas City Chiefs (9-0) Week 11 opponent: Buffalo Bills

2.(2) Detroit Lions (8-1) Week 11 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

3.(3) Buffalo Bills (8-2) Week 11 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs 

4.(4) Baltimore Ravens (7-3) Week 11 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

5.(5) Minnesota Vikings (7-2) Week 11 opponent: Tennessee Titans

6.(6) Green Bay Packers (6-3) Week 11 opponent: Chicago Bears

7.(8) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-2) Week 11 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

8.(10) Philadelphia Eagles (7-2) Week 11 opponent: Washington Commanders 

9.(7) Washington Commanders (7-3) Week 11 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles

10.(14) Arizona Cardinals (6-4) Week 11 opponent: Bye

11.(13) Los Angeles Chargers (7-3) Week 11 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals

12.(12) San Francisco 49ers (5-4) Week 11 opponent: Seattle Seahawks

13.(9) Atlanta Falcons (6-4) Week 11 opponent: Denver Broncos

14.(11) Houston Texans (6-4) Week 11 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

15.(17) Cincinnati Bengals (4-6) Week 11 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

16.(15) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-6) Week 11 opponent: Bye

17.(18) Denver Broncos (5-5) Week 11 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

18.(16) Los Angeles Rams (4-5) Week 11 opponent: New England Patriots

19.(24) Miami Dolphins (3-6) Week 11 opponent: Las Vegas Raiders

20.(20) Seattle Seahawks (4-5) Week 11 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

21.(21) Indianapolis Colts (4-6) Week 11 opponent: New York Jets

22.(19) Chicago Bears (4-5) Week 11 opponent: Green Bay Packers

23.(30) New England Patriots (3-7) Week 11 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

24.(32) New Orleans Saints (3-7) Week 11 opponent: Cleveland Browns

25.(23) New York Jets (3-7) Week 11 opponent: Indianapolis Colts

26.(26) Cleveland Browns (2-7) Week 11 opponent: New Orleans Saints

27.(31) Carolina Panthers (3-7) Week 11 opponent: Bye

28.(22) Dallas Cowboys (3-6) Week 11 opponent: Houston Texans

29.(29) Las Vegas Raiders (2-7) Week 11 opponent: Miami Dolphins

30.(25) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-8) Week 11 opponent: Detroit Lions

31.(27) Tennessee Titans (2-7) Week 11 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

32.(28) New York Giants (2-8) Week 11 opponent: Bye  

Week 10 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

 Quarterback

MVP: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

The second meeting between the Bengals and Ravens this season provided the world with another epic QB duel and once again, Burrow had a better statline (428 YDS, 4 TD's, 6 rushing YDS, 0 turnovers) than Lamar Jackson despite his team losing. Burrow should be in line for a much quieter evening this week as the Bengals take on a stingy Chargers D on SNF.   

Honorable Mentions: Lamar Jackson (Ravens), Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Kyler Murray (Cardinals)

LVP: Jayden Daniels (Commanders)

While it wasn't a completely horrendous performance, the Steelers were able to keep Daniels relatively quiet as he threw for 202 scoreless YDS and only picked up 5 YDS on his 3 rushing attempts. The OROY frontrunner gets the Eagles and their top 5 ranked defense in Week 11. 

Dishonorable Mentions: C.J. Stroud (Texans), Sam Darnold (Vikings), Baker Mayfield (Buccaneers)

Running Back

MVP: Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

Robinson majorly picked up the slack for an inefficient Kirk Cousins against the Saints, gaining 144 scrimmage YDS on 23 touches (20 carries, 3 receptions) and scoring twice on the ground in a heartbreaking divisional loss for the current NFC South leaders. He'll look to extend his insane streak of earning 18+ fantasy points in half PPR leagues to 6 games this week versus a Broncos defense that currently ranks in the middle of the pack against RB's.  

Honorable Mentions: Chuba Hubbard (Panthers), James Conner (Cardinals), Chase Brown (Bengals)

LVP: Travis Etienne Jr. (Jaguars)

Having Mac Jones under center and Tank Bigsby exiting the game with an injury early in the 1st quarter opened up a window for Etienne to seize control of the Jags offense in a surprisingly close game with the Vikings on Sunday afternoon. He failed to do that, turning his 11 carries into 44 YDS and adding just a lone catch for -1 YDS in the passing game. Regardless of Bigsby's status for their Week 11 contest with the Lions, Etienne will be nothing more than a desperation RB2/flex play against one of the league's few truly elite run defenses.    

Dishonorable Mentions: D'Andre Swift (Bears), J.K. Dobbins (Chargers), De'Von Achane (Dolphins)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

Remember when Chase put up a 10 REC/193 YD/2 TD line against the Ravens in Week 5? Well, it turns out that was only a small taste of the damage he was capable of inflicting on them. The Bengals star went full-blown nuclear against the poor, overmatched Ravens D-catching 11 passes for 264 YDS and 3 TD's. Chase's season high against teams that don't hail from Baltimore is 118 YDS and he's only cleared 62 YDS in one other game besides that, so this level of dominance hasn't been the norm for him at all in 2024, but maybe this latest explosion can be the springboard that elevates him to a more consistent level of strong play in the second half of the season.    

Honorable Mentions: Calvin Ridley (Titans), George Pickens (Steelers), Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

LVP: DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

A combination of Hurts only having to throw 20 passes on account of the score, A.J. Brown soaking up nearly half of the targets that were available and a nagging hamstring ailment lowering his snap count a bit led to Smith putting up a really quiet performance (2 REC/14 YDS) against the depleted, dejected Cowboys. As long as he's good to go physically, Smith will be a volatile WR2 for this Thursday's contest with the Commanders.   

Dishonorable Mentions: D.J. Moore (Bears), Zay Flowers (Ravens), Brian Thomas Jr. (Jaguars)

Tight End

MVP: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

Kelce's late career rebranding as a high-volume short yardage threat continues to pay dividends for fantasy owners as he hauled in a team-high 8 receptions for 64 YDS and what ended up being the game-winning TD in a good old-fashioned AFC West rock fight with the Broncos. The nice 3-game streak he's put together over the past month is in real jeopardy of ending this week against a Bills defense that has allowed the 9th least points to tight ends this season.    

Honorable Mentions: Mark Andrews (Ravens), Sam LaPorta (Lions), George Kittle (49ers)

LVP: Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

A lost fumble sunk Ferguson's line against the Eagles (4 REC/24 YDS) from relatively poor to very poor. With Dak Prescott now confirmed to be out for the season, Ferguson's already questionable fantasy value could continue to crater. He'll get a chance to regain the trust of his managers next Monday night against the Texans up-and-down secondary.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Dalton Kincaid (Bills), Hunter Henry (Patriots), Cole Kmet (Bears)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Eagles

Cooper Rush and co. handed the Eagles an abundance of gifts on Sunday as Vic Fangio's group secured 3 sacks, an INT and 4 (!) fumble recoveries in a 34-6 victory over the Cowboys. They have a date with the Commanders on Thursday night.   

Honorable Mentions: Bills, Vikings, Chargers

LVP: Jets

Man, the Cardinals just made a complete mockery of the Jets formerly vaunted defense-who generated 1 sack and 0 takeaways-this week in a 31-6 slaughter in Glendale. As poor as this group has looked on the whole since Robert Saleh's ouster in early October, they should do just fine against a wretched, turnover-happy Colts offense this week. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Bears, 49ers, Ravens

Movie Review: Heretic

Religious discourse occupies a unique space in the modern world because its prevalence tends to correlate with where you live and who you're surrounded by. Faith meaning anywhere between everything or nothing at all depending on who you elect to talk to has created this chasm that not only applies in how much discussion about it is being had in the world, but the very manner in which its discussed. Psychological horror/thriller Heretic dares to ask its audience something that almost no one bothers to ask anymore: What is the purpose of faith, and can your beliefs be challenged by your life experience or an outside force?

This question-driven exploration of faith manifests in the story of Mormon missionaries Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East) and their visit with a man named Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant) at his home with the hopes of converting him to their Church. Reed is a hardcore theology buff who is eager to discuss religion and the nature of belief with a pair of people that have dedicated their lives to spreading the gospel of The Church of the Latter-day Saints. What starts off as a somewhat awkward but ultimately good-natured conversation slowly becomes sinister when the Sisters realize that Reed's "wife"-who he said was is in the other making a blueberry pie when they first arrived-doesn't exist and all of the doors in his house are locked on a timer that they don't have to access to. What Reed wants from these women is simple: He's put together a game to put their belief in a higher power to the test and the path they choose will dictate whether they leave his house safely or die. Terrified and conflicted on what direction to go in, Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton must lean on each other if they wish to make it out of Reed's house of faith-testing horror with their lives.

What's really cool about Heretic is that its writer/director tandem Scott Beck and Bryan Woods waste no time getting to the suspenseful hook. Reed's ominous lectures about religion, subtly disorienting camerawork that mirrors the feeling of the walls closing in on you and sound design that turns benign domestic sounds (ticking clocks, creaking doors, footsteps) into something viscerally sinister mimics the increasingly claustrophobic dread Barnes and Paxton are feeling as they realize their safety may be compromised. This feeling of palpable discomfort is parlayed into a pretty terrific second act where their fears are confirmed in ways they probably didn't even imagine as the threat stars to veer from vague hypothetical to something terrifyingly real. It's basically everything that a contained cat-and-mouse thriller should be and the fashion in which it marries its existential questions about religion with traditional horror filmmaking practices is really seamless.                      

Of course, a chamber piece wouldn't really work if it weren't for the contributions of its cast and the actors in Heretic all deliver in a major way. Grant is having a ball playing this kind of eccentric, somewhat pretentious maniac who cruelly preys on the vulnerable in a similar fashion as the religious figures he rails against do and both East and Thatcher do great work by turning the baked-in assumption that these characters are meek, polite-to-a-fault women on its head with the quiet strength and resilience they show in the face of grave danger. 

Eventually, Heretic loses its way during a final act where it's ideas about things such as idealism vs. truth in faith and what drives people to believe or not believe in God come together in an unsatisfying, arguably silly manner that snuffs out quite a bit of the strength of the film's riveting opening 2/3's. Still, this is a really solid bounceback project for Beck and Woods after the misguided 65 and an exceptional advertisement for any filmmaker that is seeking the services of any of these three gifted actors for a future project.                        

Grade: B

2024 NFL Mid-Season Awards+Updated Playoff and Super Bowl Predictions

Top Player: Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

Somehow, Jackson has been even better to start 2024 than he was during his MVP Campaign last season. He's having easily his best season as a passer by any meaningful metric you want to use (CMP%, QBR, YPA, TD's), has improved at getting the ball out quickly/evading the rush without upping his pick total (13 sacks taken, 2 INT's thrown in 9 games played) and remains the most lethal rushing QB in the league-clearing 500 YDS on only 84 attempts. A potentially tough stretch run that includes games with the Chargers, Texans and a pair of meeting with their archrival Steelers could disrupt his momentum, but if he can at least come close to maintaining this level of play during the final 7 games, he should be adding a 3rd MVP award to his trophy case.    

Honorable Mentions: Joe Burrow (Bengals), Josh Allen (Bills), Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

Top Offensive Player: Derrick Henry (Ravens)

Another huge factor in Jackson's incredible start to 2024 has been Henry. The 30-year-old back continues to deify conventional wisdom surrounding aging workhorse backs as he not only refuses to break down but looks about as good as he ever has. John Harbaugh and Todd Monken have done a masterful job of giving him some prolonged stretches of rest throughout the game and it's allowed him to come on like a freight train going 100 mph whenever the Ravens are trying to impose their will on the ground, which has resulted in him putting up some ridiculous numbers (6.0 YPC, 13 total TD's, season-long run of 87 YDS, clearing 1,000 YDS on the ground in only 9 games) that are well ahead of every other starting back in the league.  

Honorable Mentions: Justin Jefferson (Vikings), Saquon Barkley (Eagles), George Kittle (49ers)

Top Defensive Player: T.J. Watt (Steelers)

The Steelers defense is once again among the league's best, and Watt is the top reason why. His ability to disrupt a game is as reliable as ever-logging 33 tackles, 10 TFL's, 6.5 sacks, 14 QB hits, 16 pressures and 4 forced fumbles through 8 games and the depth-bolstering addition of Preston Smith at the trade deadline could set him up to feast even more to close out 2024.      

Honorable Mentions: Dexter Lawrence (Giants), Fred Warner (49ers), Kerby Joseph (Lions)

Top Offensive Rookie: Jayden Daniels (Commanders)

After all the buzz surrounding the 2024 QB class, Daniels has solidified himself as the clear top dog (as a rookie at least). While he's unquestionably benefitted from a really soft schedule, he's looked poised as a passer and explosive as a rusher from the jump and his high level of play is one of the top reasons the Commanders are off to such a surprisingly great start.    

Honorable Mentions: Brock Bowers (Raiders), Malik Nabers (Giants), Brian Thomas Jr. (Jaguars)

Top Defensive Rookie: Jared Verse (Rams)

The gap between the level of play of the offensive and defensive players in the 2024 rookie class has already proven to be enormous. Among the handful of defensive rookies that have gotten off to strong starts, Verse stands alone at the top of the mountain by a colossal margin. The Florida State product has been borderline elite as a Day 1 starter on the edge-particularly over the past month as the Rams have clawed their way back to .500 after a 1-4 start-picking up 33 tackles, 3.5 sacks, 13 QB hits, 22 pressures and a forced fumble.   

Honorable Mentions: Andru Phillips (Giants), Kamari Lassiter (Texans), Evan Williams (Packers)

Top Coach: Dan Quinn (Commanders)

We all know how Quinn's tenure with the Falcons ended after a great 2-season run from 2016-17 that included the infamous Super Bowl Collapse versus the Patriots. His (potential) redemption arc that started during his successful tenure as the Cowboys DC from 2021-23 has really kicked into high gear with the triumphant start to his 2nd head coaching gig with the Commanders. They've considerably improved in all 3 phases of the game after a horrific 2023 under Ron Rivera, OC Kliff Kingsbury has done an outstanding job of building a system that accentuates Jayden Daniels' strengths and best of all, his players have really bought into him as a leader.   

Honorable Mentions: Jim Harbaugh (Chargers), Raheem Morris (Falcons), Sean McVay (Rams)

Top Comeback Player: Kirk Cousins (Falcons)

Outside of an ugly Week 1 showing against the Steelers, Cousins has gracefully returned to form following a devastating Achilles injury that cost him the majority of the 2023 season. His accuracy has been excellent, he's on the same page as all of his top targets (Drake London, Darnell Mooney, Kyle Pitts) and has generally been the stabilizing force the Falcons wanted him to be when they brough him in free agency to succeed Desmond Ridder as their starting QB.   

Honorable Mentions: J.K. Dobbins (Chargers), Sam Darnold (Vikings), Damar Hamlin (Bills)

Mid-Season All-Pro Team

Quarterback

1st team: Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

2nd team: Joe Burrow (Bengals)

Running Back

1st team: Derrick Henry (Ravens), Saquon Barkley (Eagles)

2nd team: Josh Jacobs (Packers), Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

Wide Receiver

1st team: Justin Jefferson (Vikings), Zay Flowers (Ravens)

2nd team: Garrett Wilson (Jets), Nico Collins (Texans)

Tight End

1st team: George Kittle (49ers)

2nd team: Brock Bowers (Raiders) 

Tackle

1st team: Trenton Armstead (Dolphins), Penei Sewell (Lions)

2nd team: Tristian Wirfs (Buccaneers), Zach Tom (Packers)

Guard:

1st team: Quenton Nelson (Colts), Trey Smith (Chiefs)

2nd team: Joe Thuney (Chiefs), Chris Lindstrom (Falcons)

Center:

1st team: Creed Humphrey (Chiefs)

2nd team: Aaron Brewer (Dolphins)

Defensive End

1st team: Aidan Hutchinson (Lions), Myles Garrett (Browns)

2nd team: Nick Bosa (49ers), Trey Hendrickson (Bengals)

Defensive Tackle

1st team: Dexter Lawrence (Giants), Cameron Heyward (Steelers)

2nd team: Chris Jones (Chiefs), Alim McNeill (Lions) 

Outside Linebacker

1st team: T.J. Watt (Steelers), Khalil Mack (Chargers)

2nd team: Jonathan Greenard (Vikings), Kyle Van Noy (Ravens)

Inside Linebacker

1st team: Fred Warner (49ers), Logan Wilson (Bengals)

2nd team: Bobby Wagner (Commanders), Zack Baun (Eagles)

Cornerback

1st team: Zyon McCollum (Buccaneers), Marlon Humphrey (Ravens)

2nd team: D.J. Reed (Jets), Jalen Ramsey (Dolphins)

Safety

1st team: Kerby Joseph (Lions), Brian Branch (Lions)

2nd team: Xavier McKinney (Packers), Brandon Jones (Broncos) 

Kicker

1st team: Brandon Aubrey (Cowboys)

2nd team: Austin Seibert (Commanders) 

Punter:

1st team: A.J. Cole (Raiders)

2nd team: Jack Fox (Lions)

Return Specialist:

1st team: Kalif Raymond (Lions)

2nd team: DeeJay Dallas (Cardinals)

Special Teamer:

1st team: Feleipe Franks (Panthers)

2nd team: Miles Killebrew (Steelers)

Playoff and Super Bowl Predictions:

AFC:

1.Chiefs

2.Bills

3.Ravens

4.Texans

5.Steelers

6.Chargers

7.Bengals

Wild Card:

Bills over Bengals

Ravens over Chargers

Steelers over Texans

Divisional Round:

Chiefs over Steelers

Bills over Ravens

Conference Championship:

Chiefs over Bills

NFC:

1.Lions

2.Falcons

3.Commanders

4.Cardinals

5.Packers

6.Vikings

7.Eagles

Wild Card:

Falcons over Eagles

Vikings over Commanders

Packers over Cardinals

Divisional Round:

Lions over Vikings

Falcons over Packers

Conference Championship:

Falcons over Lions

Super Bowl:

Chiefs over Falcons

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Week 10

 ()=Previous Ranking

1.(1) Kansas City Chiefs (8-0) Week 10 opponent: Denver Broncos

2.(2) Detroit Lions (7-1) Week 10 opponent: Houston Texans

3.(3) Buffalo Bills (7-2) Week 10 opponent: Indianapolis Colts 

4.(5) Baltimore Ravens (6-3) Week 10 opponent: Cincinnati Bengals 

5.(6) Minnesota Vikings (6-2) Week 10 opponent: Jacksonville Jaguars 

6.(4) Green Bay Packers (6-3) Week 10 opponent: Bye

7.(9) Washington Commanders (7-2) Week 10 opponent: Pittsburgh Steelers

8.(8) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) Week 10 opponent: Washington Commanders 

9.(10) Atlanta Falcons (6-3) Week 10 opponent: New Orleans Saints 

10.(11) Philadelphia Eagles (6-2) Week 10 opponent: Dallas Cowboys

11.(7) Houston Texans (6-3) Week 10 opponent: Detroit Lions

12.(12) San Francisco 49ers (4-4) Week 10 opponent: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

13.(14) Los Angeles Chargers (5-3) Week 10 opponent: Tennessee Titans

14.(16) Arizona Cardinals (5-4) Week 10 opponent: New York Jets

15.(13) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-5) Week 10 opponent: San Francisco 49ers

16.(18) Los Angeles Rams (4-4) Week 10 opponent: Miami Dolphins

17.(22) Cincinnati Bengals (4-5) Week 10 opponent: Baltimore Ravens

18.(17) Denver Broncos (5-4) Week 10 opponent: Kansas City Chiefs

19.(15) Chicago Bears (4-4) Week 10 opponent: New England Patriots 

20.(19) Seattle Seahawks (4-5) Week 10 opponent: Bye 

21.(21) Indianapolis Colts (4-5) Week 10 opponent: Buffalo Bills

22.(20) Dallas Cowboys (3-5) Week 10 opponent: Philadelphia Eagles 

23.(24) New York Jets (3-6) Week 10 opponent: Arizona Cardinals

24.(26) Miami Dolphins (2-6) Week 10 opponent: Los Angeles Rams

25.(25) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Minnesota Vikings

26.(23) Cleveland Browns (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Bye

27.(31) Tennessee Titans (2-6) Week 10 opponent: Los Angeles Chargers

28.(28) New York Giants (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Carolina Panthers

29.(27) Las Vegas Raiders (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Bye

30.(30) New England Patriots (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Chicago Bears

31.(32) Carolina Panthers (2-7) Week 10 opponent: New York Giants

32.(29) New Orleans Saints (2-7) Week 10 opponent: Atlanta Falcons

Week 9 Fantasy Football Winners and Losers: 2024 Edition

Quarterback

MVP: Joe Burrow (Bengals) 

Burrow has been terrific in nearly every game this season but hasn't put up too many monster lines. That wasn't the case this week however as he threw for 251 YDS and 5 TD's against the reeling Raiders at home. He'll have another chance to stuff the stat sheet this week against a Ravens team that he absolutely lit up (392 YDS/5 TD's) in Week 5.  

Honorable Mentions: Jalen Hurts (Eagles), Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs), Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

LVP: Kyler Murray (Cardinals) 

About the only thing Bears did well on Sunday against the Cardinals was contain Murray. The Cardinals signalcaller was held to 154 scoreless YDS through the air and just 6 YDS on the ground while also losing a fumble in the 2nd quarter. Murray should have a good chance of returning to his reliable QB1 level in a Week 10 showdown with the Jets.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Jared Goff (Lions), C.J. Stroud (Texans), Jordan Love (Packers)

Running Back

MVP: Saquon Barkley (Eagles) 

Barkley's dominant 2024 reached one of its highest heights thus far on Sunday afternoon/evening against the Jaguars. The veteran back was the engine of the Eagles offense in this surprising shootout against their former coach Doug Pederson's squad, registering 199 scrimmage YDS and 2 TD's on 30 touches (27 carries, 3 receptions). A lost fumble was the only thing preventing this from being a perfect performance. Pray for the 30th ranked Cowboys run D as they prepare to take on this unstoppable force in 5 days' time.   

Honorable Mentions: De'Von Achane (Dolphins), Derrick Henry (Ravens), Alvin Kamara (Saints)

LVP: Nick Chubb (Browns)

Chubb's bumpy return to action continued this week as he struggled to contribute (15 CAR/39 YDS, 1 REC/-4 YDS) against the Chargers stout defensive front in a blowout home loss for the Browns. He's been baptized in fire over the past 3 weeks with the Bengals/Ravens/Chargers matchups and his post-bye schedule doesn't soften up too much overall despite being bookended by dates with the Saints and Dolphins-which tentatively sets him up to be a questionable FLEX/RB3 option the rest out of the way. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Bucky Irving (Buccaneers), Tank Bigsby (Jaguars), Travis Etienne (Jaguars)

Wide Receiver

MVP: Zay Flowers (Ravens)

Flowers owners who were looking for his inexplicable TD drought to end got their wish as the Ravens WR1 found the endzone twice against the Broncos #1 pass D. Those endzone trips were the cherry on top of a monster afternoon for Flowers, who has now cleared 100+ YDS in 4 of the last 5 games after posting 127 YDS on just 5 receptions. While the presence of Diontae Johnson could hurt his target share once the ex-Panther gets acclimated to Todd Monken's system, Flowers should remain the clear cut WR1 in Baltimore-which would preserve his current surprising WR1 status in the fantasy realm.     

Honorable Mentions: Garrett Wilson (Jets), DeAndre Hopkins (Chiefs), Jaxon Smith-Njigba (Seahawks)

LVP: Michael Pittman Jr. (Colts)

The return of his pal Joe Flacco did nothing to help Pittman Jr. break out of his slump as caught just 1-of-4 targets for 14 YDS against a burnable Vikings secondary. He has a brutal draw with the Bills strong secondary in Week 10, which makes him a really shaky start in any league that has less than 14 teams. 

Dishonorable Mentions: Marvin Harrison Jr. (Cardinals), Puka Nacua (Rams), Xavier Worthy (Chiefs)

Tight End

MVP: Cade Otton (Buccaneers)

Jalen McMillan's absence after tweaking his hamstring in last Friday's practice only upped the stranglehold Otton has on the Bucs passing attack at the moment. The 3rd year tight end saw a season-high 11 targets, which he turned into 8 receptions for 77 YDS and a score in an OT loss versus the still undefeated Chiefs. Otton will look to keep rolling this Sunday against a 49ers defense that has allowed the 9th fewest points to tight ends this season. 

Honorable Mentions: Travis Kelce (Chiefs), Brock Bowers (Raiders), Trey McBride (Cardinals)

LVP: Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

The unicorn that was a Kyle Pitts hot streak has met its demise after 4 games as the Falcons TE fell back to earth versus the Cowboys, catching his lone target for 11 YDS. Pitts would likely be among the top beneficiaries from a potential Drake London absence-who left Sunday's game early with a hip pointer-so keep an eye on the injury reports this week as they gear up to play the Saints.  

Dishonorable Mentions: Sam LaPorta (Lions), Cole Kmet (Bears), Mark Andrews (Ravens)

Defense/Special Teams

MVP: Chargers

After avoiding disaster in his first start, Jameis Winston put up a vintage Jameis Winston performance against the Chargers. The league's top ranked scoring defense baited Winston into embracing the worst of his gunslinger tendencies by pressuring the shit out of him-which resulted in him taking 6 sacks and throwing 3 picks. The S/T also chipped in for this fantasy feast with a blocked FG in their 27-10 victory. They have another juicy matchup on the docket this week when they take on the turnover-happy, pass block-challenged Titans.  

Honorable Mentions: Jets, Vikings, Ravens

LVP: Broncos

Is there talent on the Broncos defense? No question. Have their defensive metrics to start this season been inflated on account of their extremely soft schedule? Absolutely. This was backed up by the absolute trashing they took at the hands of the elite Ravens offense, who hung a whopping 41 points on them while they logged 0 takeaways and just 1 sack. While it probably won't look this bad again, this week's matchup with the Chiefs probably won't be a picnic either.    

Dishonorable Mentions: Chiefs, Bills, Saints  

Judy Greer Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Judy Greer-whose latest project "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" releases in theaters on Thursday. 

Judy Greer's Filmography Ranked:

26.Tommorowland (D-)

25.Adaptation (D-)

24.The 15:17 to Paris (D+)

23.The Village (D+)

22.Jeff, Who Lives at Home (C-)

21.War for the Planet of the Apes (C-)

20.The Wedding Planner (C)

19.The Hebrew Hammer (C+)

18.Wilson (C+)

17.Where'd You Go, Bernadette (B-)

16.13 Going on 30 (B-)

15.Love & Other Drugs (B-)

14.Uncle Frank (B)

13.Ant-Man and the Wasp (B)

12.Entourage (B)

11.Buffaloed (B)

10.Ant-Man (B)

9.Halloween Kills (B)

8.Jurassic World (B)

7.Grandma (B)

6.Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (B)

5.Our Souls at Night (B+)

4.Halloween (B+)

3.Three Kings (B+)

2.Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 (A)

1.The Descendants (A)

Top Dog: The Descendants (2011)

While The Descendants has kind of been relegated to minor status in the acclaimed filmography of Alexander Payne, it'll always be one of my favorites of his. The way that it goes about handling the collection of conflicting strong emotions that come with finding out a damaging secret about a loved one in the aftermath of a tragedy (in this case, the husband and two daughters of a woman in a coma following a boating accident discover that she's been having an affair) is really mature and honest, Payne knows when to play into the emotional elements of the family drama and when to add levity with a comedic moment and the deeply vulnerable performances from George Clooney and Shailene Woodley remain among the strongest they've ever committed to screen.     

Bottom Feeder: Tomorrowland (2015)

Even after the phenomenal success of Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl 21 years ago, the bar for Disney films based on attractions from their amusement parks remains pretty low. There's just no universe where movie adaptations inspired by rides aimed to provide children with a few minutes of fleeting fun are shooting for the stars. Wherever the bar for these films is currently set at, Tomorrowland lands well below it. How modern animation legend Brad Bird went from making one of the standout entries in the Mission-Impossible entries in Ghost Protocol on his first foray into live action filmmaking to crashing and burning in spectacular fashion with this comically convoluted snoozer on his second go-round is the kind of head-scratcher that just doesn't compute no matter hard you try to make sense of it. Tomorrowland was such a failure creatively and finically that Bird may've even permanently retreated back to the world of animation (Incredibles 2 is the only film he's put out since and he's currently working on his longtime passion project Ray Gunn with Skydance), which would be a shame since he flashed a great feel for blockbuster filmmaking on Ghost Protocol and almost certainly would've made some cool stuff in the future.           

Most Underrated: Our Souls at Night (2017)

This lovely film about two elderly widowed neighbors (Robert Redford, Jane Fonda) who agree to spend time with each other to combat their loneliness is one of the earliest cases of a Netflix original getting promptly buried by their stupid fucking algorithm before it was able to find an audience. It's a really moving drama that is powered by the beautiful work longtime collaborators Redford and Fonda do together to sell the tenderness and healing power of their unique relationship. 

Most Overrated: Adaptation (2002)

Not even Nicolas Cage going beast mode in a dual role can do anything to help remove Adaptation's head from the deepest crevasses of its own ass. The movie's entire conceit of telling a story that's highbrow to start and lowbrow to finish is one of the smuggest creative choices I've ever seen a movie make and that alone is enough to make Adaptation an absolutely insufferable watch.