Final Destination Ranked

On this week's special edition of "Ranked", I'm ranking the Final Destination franchise from worst to best ahead of the release of "Final Destination: Bloodlines" in theaters tomorrow.  

5.The Final Destination (2009):

While I do agree with the consensus that The Final Destination is the weakest entry in the series by a wide margin, I also think it gets far more shit than it deserves. There's a certain charm to how heavily it commits to the cheap, schlocky 3D bit (this was the first entry of the series to be released in 3D) and a few of the deaths are among the most absurd/sadistic (flying tire decapitation, a rock launched by a lawnmower from a cartoonishly long distance away going through somebody's eye as they walk out of a salon, a pool drain sucking someone's intestines out through their butthole) of the entire franchise.  

Grade: C+

4.Final Destination (2000):

It needs to be noted that the next three entries on this list are basically interchangeable. What landed the original film at the bottom of this closely contested hierarchy is very simple: the deaths just aren't as memorable as the pair of sequels that beat it out. Other than the comparatively tamer/less creative accident sequences, there's a lot of fun to be had watching this franchise birth its clever "Death comes to collect the souls that evaded its grasp" concept and an all-star lineup of familiar faces from late 90's/early 2000's pop culture (Devon Sawa, Kerr Smith, Seann William Scott, Ali Larter) get picked off one by one.   

Grade: B

3.Final Destination 5 (2011):

5 is definitely the most underrated entry of the series in my book. The introduction of the "kill somebody and get their remaining life" rule in the second half of the film is a gloriously demented wrinkle that brings the dark comedy elements that have always been a part of this series' DNA closer to the forefront, the characters that get the chance to stick around for long enough to get some backstory are actually pretty well-defined by franchise standards and the twist ending leads to an all-timer of a death/end credits transition that very well could be the hardest I've ever laughed at a Final Destination movie. Bonus points for also backing up my longstanding fears of LASIK eye surgery and gymnastics routines going horribly wrong.  

Grade: B

2.Final Destination 2 (2003):

How there was a time in my life not too long ago that I thought this was the weakest entry outside of The Final Destination is a real head-scratcher. The efforts to up the absurdity pay dividends here as the accident sequences are way more unpredictable/entertaining than they were in the first one, the opening disaster scene with the logging truck is the chaotic, grisly peak of the entire franchise that will almost certainly never be topped and save for the aforementioned classic walk-off of Final Destination 5, it features the most insane/hilarious ending of the bunch.   

Grade: B

1.Final Destination 3 (2006):

Original director James Wong returned to the fold hungry to up the stakes and lean into the more ridiculous tone that David R. Ellis established with Final Destination 2. He didn't just succeed in his mission; he crushed it to the point where he made the best damn entry in the series that he helped create. Wong creates an ever-present feeling of impending doom that provides the film with a playfully sinister atmosphere that adds a nice layer of dread to the otherwise goofy proceedings, Mary Elizabeth Winstead's Wendy is easily the most dramatically compelling protagonist the series has ever had and the pseudo-detective angle to the plot is a fun, unique way to approach these characters scrambling to find a way to cancel the plans Death has for them.  

Grade: B+