Movie Review: The Bluff

In terms of movie monopolies, few have even been as dominant as the one Pirates of the Caribbean has had on pirate movies over the last 20+ years. Gore Verbinski's original trilogy that ran from 2003 to 2007 were such rollicking, well-conceived high seas adventures that other creatives in the industry figured they were better off staying on land. The two entries that weren't helmed by Verbinski that were released during the 2010's (2011's On Stranger Tides, 2017's Dead Men Tell No Tales) proved that the brand had run its course and perhaps it was time for somebody else to try their hand at big budget swashbuckling. Nearly nine years after the release of the last Pirates of the Caribbean film, veteran screenwriter Frank E. Flowers has dared to launch a vessel into these rarely explored waters with Prime Video's The Bluff.

To be clear, The Bluff is more of an action/revenge movie about pirates than a full-bore pirate movie as most of it is set on the island of Cayman Brac during the late 1800's when the practice of piracy was on its last legs. As disappointing as it is to see the return to this largely dormant genre be so light on ocean-based action, The Bluff has enough firepower in its arsenal to overcome its relative lack of aquatic hijinks. Priyanka Chopra as a retired lethal pirate whose settled into a quiet life on a beautiful island vs. Karl Urban as her sadistic former partner who kidnaps her husband (Ismael Cruz Cordova) at sea hen forces him to sail to Cayman Brac in order to reclaim the considerable amount of gold she took from him a couple of decades earlier when she made her escape is a fun combative dynamic and the well-staged action sequences pack a brutal punch that nicely correlates with the nastiness of its revenge narrative. When the movie shifts focus to the dramatic elements involving Chopra's relationship with her son (Vedanten Nadoo) and sister-in-law (Safia Oakley-Green), the clunkiness of the script really starts to show, and it loses momentum. Fortunately, every time it threatens to really start dragging, there's a bloody fight scene or fiery exchange between Chopra and Urban that jolts it back to life. It won't be overly difficult to make a better pirate movie than The Bluff and hopefully somebody will in the near future, but for now, I'm just glad that somebody was willing to make one post-POTC and it ended up being pretty decent.

Grade: B-
 

2026 NFL Mock Draft (Post-Combine)

1.Las Vegas Raiders: Fernando Mendoza, quarterback (Indiana)

2.New York Jets: David Bailey, edge rusher (Texas Tech)

3.Arizona Cardinals: Arvell Reese, edge rusher/inside linebacker (Ohio State)

4.Tennessee Titans: Carnell Tate, wide receiver (Ohio State)

5.New York Giants: Sonny Styles, inside linebacker (Ohio State)

6.Cleveland Browns: Francis Mauigoa, tackle (Miami)

7.Washington Commanders: Caleb Downs, safety (Ohio State)

8.New Orleans Saints: Jeremiyah Love, running back (Notre Dame)

9.Kansas City Chiefs: Spencer Fano, tackle (Utah)

10.Cincinnati Bengals: Rueben Bain Jr., edge rusher (Miami)

11.Miami Dolphins: Mansoor Delane, cornerback (LSU)

12.Dallas Cowboys: Jermod McCoy, cornerback (Tennessee) 

13.Los Angeles Rams: Avieon Terrell, cornerback (Clemson)

14.Baltimore Ravens: Caleb Banks, defensive tackle (Florida)

15.Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kenyon Sadiq, tight end (Oregon)

16.New York Jets: Makai Lemon, wide receiver (USC)

17.Detroit Lions: Keldric Faulk, edge rusher (Auburn)

18.Minnesota Vikings: Emmanuel McNeil-Warren, safety (Toledo)

19.Carolina Panthers: T.J. Parker, edge rusher (Clemson)

20.Dallas Cowboys: Cashius Howell, edge rusher (Texas A&M)

21.Pittsburgh Steelers: Jordyn Tyson, wide receiver (Arizona State)

22.Los Angeles Chargers: Olaivavega Ioane, guard (Penn State)

23.Philadelphia Eagles: Monroe Freeling, tackle (Georgia)

24.Cleveland Browns: Denzel Boston, wide receiver (Washington)

25.Chicago Bears: Peter Woods, defensive tackle (Clemson)

26.Buffalo Bills: Omar Cooper Jr., wide receiver (Indiana)

27.San Francisco 49ers: Blake Miller, tackle (Clemson)

28.Houston Texans: Kadyn Proctor, tackle (Alabama)

29.Los Angeles Rams: C.J. Allen, inside linebacker (Georgia)

30.Denver Broncos: KC Concepcion, wide receiver (Texas A&M)

31.New England Patriots: Akheem Mesidor, edge rusher (Miami)

32.Seattle Seahawks: Colton Hood, cornerback (Tennessee) 

Movie Review: GOAT

Sony Pictures Animation is starting to settle into a pattern as their filmography continues to slowly increase in size of letting their beautiful house style that blends together hand drawn and CG animation do the heavy lifting over the narrative. The Steph Curry-produced GOAT fits into this box as snuggly as anything SPA has ever made. The only thing that distinguishes GOAT from other sports underdog stories is that the hero (Caleb McLaughlin) that's told he's too small, weak, etc. to play professional sports is a talking goat who dreams of being a professional roarball player (it's basically basketball with all animal players, a more liberal foul system and courts that look like Super Smash Brothers stages). Beyond that, the adults in the audience will have no trouble predicting everything that happens to Will as he gets to live out his dream of playing in the pros, clashes with the team's selfish, insecure aging veteran star player (Gabrielle Union) and helps a previous dysfunctional group of players rediscover the power of teamwork and their love of the game through his infectious spirit. This adhering to a predictable genre formula ends up being perfectly excusable as it executes the classic sports movie tropes skillfully enough and delivers consistently impressive visuals (the roarball games look particularly great) throughout. Plus, it pulls off the magic trick of using modern slang in an organic, non-cringey way and has the courtesy of acknowledging who the real villains in sports are: greedy owners who value their bottom lines over the culture of their locker room or the quality of the product their team is putting out there. Any parent that wants to get their kids out of the house for a couple of hours could pick a far more torturous activity than taking them to see GOAT.

Grade: B-

Movie Review: How to Make a Killing

Has anyone noticed that "eat the rich" dark comedies are really en vogue right now? What could've caused this recent surge in anti-billionaire sentiments is anyone's guess, but I'm sure this trend will stop once trickle-down economics finally start paying off for the working class. The sweet trickle tree has yet to produce a single harvest, but boy oh boy when it finally starts to bear enough fruit for the bottom 99% to enjoy the feast they've been promised for 40+ years at this point, they'll never go hungry again and the creative community will surely show their appreciation by making dozens of lovely movies thanking them for their endless benevolence. 

How to Make a Killing, which is loosely based on the 1949 British film Kind Hearts and Coronets, represents John Patton Ford's (Emily the Criminal) entry into one of this decade's most densely packed cinematic corners. While this film about New Jersey-based suit salesman Becket Redfellow (Glen Powell) embarking on a mission to kill off his relatives in order to gain access to the hefty trust he's written into through his late mother (Nell Williams)-whose father (Ed Harris) cut her off after he she became pregnant with him at 19- after losing his job to his boss' son who just dropped out of college isn't overly scathing or clever in its takedown of the ultra-rich, it still manages to be an absorbing watch. Powell does a good job of weaponizing his signature magnetism to play a genuinely nice guy who slowly gets corrupted by his relentless pursuit of obtaining more wealth despite having a perfectly fine life before he started offing his estranged relatives, the terrific supporting cast (Margaret Qualley, Jessica Henwick, Bill Camp, Harris, Zach Woods, Topher Grace) all give spirited performances that help shape Becket's ugly journey up the financial ladder and the ending wraps things up in a nice feel bad bow that communicates its messaging surrounding the moral rot that tends to come with obscene wealth better than anything else that precedes it. While I do think Patton Ford's filmmaking skill set is better suited for scuzzy, tense crime thrillers than the lightly satirical dark comedy that's on display here (case in point: the couple of sequences in the final act where he digs back into the pulse-pounding intensity that drove Emily the Criminal). this is still a very solid sophomore feature that has only further instilled my confidence in his future in the industry. 

Grade: B

Rashida Jones Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Rashida Jones-whose latest project "In the Blink on Eye" begins streaming on Hulu on Friday.

Rashida Jones' Filmography Ranked:

14.The Big Year (C-)

13.Cuban Fury (C)

12.Celeste and Jesse Forever (C)

11.Cop Out (C)

10.Friends with Benefits (C)

9.Our Idiot Brother (B-)

8.The Grinch (B)

7.The Muppets (B)

6.Between Two Ferns: The Movie (B)

5.Spies in Disguise (B)

4.Tag (B+)

3.Klaus (B+)

2.I Love You, Man (B+)

1.The Social Network (A)

Top Dog: The Social Network (2010)

Remember when David Fincher used to put out movies in theaters? Good times! Anyways, The Social Network was really the first time somebody made a movie about a big tech shithead and it nailed the fragility, insecurity and God complexes that drive these men to such a degree that every other movie that's covered similar territory since has fallen well short of the bar that was set here. Excited to revisit this ahead of the release of Aaron Sorkin's companion film The Social Reckoning in October.

Bottom Feeder: The Big Year (2011)

The last thing a comedy led by Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson should be is completely forgettable, but that's precisely what The Big Year is. Going through the cast list and discovering that Jones, Rosamund Pike and Anthony Anderson (Jim Parsons was the only other actor I recalled being it outside of the leads) were also in it is the telltale sign of how little of this flat film has endured in my memory. 

Most Underrated: Tag (2018)

Assembling an ensemble cast that features everybody from Jeremy Renner to Jon Hamm to Isla Fisher for a movie about a group of lifelong friends who have been playing a game of tag that last for the entire month of May every year since 1983 is an act of mad genius. Everybody involved in this endeavor takes real pride in making something so silly and it allows this movie to be a total blast to watch. 

(Side note: It sucks that Hannibal Buress' acting career never really panned out because he is obscenely funny in this and Blockers.)

Most Overrated: Friends with Benefits (2011)

Friends with Benefits is a watchable enough R-rated romcom that has managed to hold onto a level of cultural relevancy that its fellow 2011 sex friends-to-lovers release No Strings Attached has failed to. That being said, I don't think it's all that funny or sweet in the grand scheme of things and would prefer to watch any of Will Gluck's other movies (Easy A, Fired Up!, Anyone But You) that occupied a similar genre space 100 times out of 100.

Movie Review: Solo Mio

Are you somebody who wants to see a romantic movie this Valentine's Day season, but aren't interested in laying eyes upon all of the bawdy fully clothed hanky panky of Wuthering Heights? Well, do I have some news for you: Kevin James is starring in a PG-rated romantic dramedy called Solo Mio where he goes on his Rome honeymoon alone after being left at the altar by his fiancé (Julie Ann Emery) and ends up finding love again with an Italian cafe owner (Nicole Grimaudo). It's the perfect movie for anyone who has treated NCIS as appointment television since it first started airing back in 1832 or believes they would enjoy a big belly laugh every time James butchers the pronunciation of an Italian word he's trying to read off his phone. Mama Mia! Mangi! Bonjourno! 

As good as James is and continues to be at playing likeable everyman characters, Solo Mio suffocates his natural charm by being completely devoid of personality or stakes. His character Matt Taylor glides through his evolution from sadsack tourist who just suffered the greatest embarrassment/heartbreak of his life to man who stumbles upon love when he needed the power of true human connection the most like he's a checked bag at the airport that needs to be put on the plane before it takes off. A movie that aspires to tell a nice, warm story about finding love where you least expect it being built around a relationship this emotionally sterile is the kind of puzzling failure that gets you to question if the people that made it were more interested in taking an extended vacation to Italy than the movie that they were there to make. Alas, Solo Mio just never lives up to its mission statement of being a heartfelt romantic movie and in the process, adds yet another stain to James' shaky post-The King of Queens resume. 

Grade: C-
 

Margaret Qualley Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Margaret Qualley-whose latest project "How to Make a Killing" releases in theaters tomorrow. 

Margaret Qualley's Filmography Ranked:

14.Stars at Noon (C)

13.Native Son (C)

12.Donnybrook (B-)

11.Honey Don't (B-)

10.Seberg (B-)

9.Happy Gilmore 2 (B-)

8.Blue Moon (B)

7.Drive-Away Dolls (B)

6.Sanctuary (B+)

5.Kinds of Kindness (B+)

4.The Substance (A-)

3.Poor Things (A)

2.Once Upon a Time in Hollywood... (A)

1.The Nice Guys (A)

Top Dog: The Nice Guys (2016)

As of this writing, we're about three months away from the tenth anniversary of The Nice Guys releasing in theaters. I'll never forget the ludicrous amount of fun I had watching this noir buddy comedy for the first time with a few of my friends and remarkably, it's a movie that only becomes funnier with each rewatch. Qualley is very lucky that she's able to say that this is the first movie she had a prominent role in. 

Bottom Feeder: Stars at Noon (2022)

There's a sleazy shagginess to the political thriller plot in Stars at Noon that prevents it from being a total drag. It's not however enough to forgive the complete lack of eroticism in the romantic subplot brought on by the nonexistent chemistry between Qualley and Joe Alwyn, especially when it's supposed to serve as the story's emotional crux.

Most Underrated: Sanctuary (2023)

Unlike in Stars of Noon, Qualley has tremendous chemistry with Christopher Abbott in Sanctuary. The pair are incredible together in this darkly comedic psychological thriller about an unexpectedly eventful night between a rich guy and the dominatrix he has a long-standing business relationship with after he attempts to end their arrangement upon getting promoted to CEO of his family's luxury hotel chain following the death of his father. There's a lot of fun to be had in watching them embark in a heated battle in which the upper hand in the power dynamic of their suddenly drastically different relationship is constantly shifting between the two parties and having the film take place over a single night in a hotel suite adds a feeling of claustrophobia that amplifies the tension of their chaotic verbal sparring match. 

Most Overrated: Blue Moon (2025)

A couple of years from now, it will probably be ridiculous to refer to Blue Moon as overrated. But now as it's fresh off of receiving a couple of Oscar noms, I'm willing to make that declaration. As strong as Ethan Hawke's work here in this Richard Linklater-helmed biopic about a bitter, drunk Lorenz Hart trying to accept in real time that the best days of his songwriting career are behind him after leaving the opening night performance of his former creative partner Richard Rodgers' (Andrew Scott) megahit musical Oklahoma! early to go hang out at the Manhattan bar that all of the Broadway talent flocks to after performances, listening to Hart cycle between ripping Oklahoma!, boasting about projects he may or may not be working on, telling stories about his glory days to any pour soul that is willing to listen to him and begging Rodgers to collaborate with him once again without ever coming up for air becomes pretty monotonous after a while.