What I found ironic while listening to The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was how well the song titles suited why the album failed. It's almost as if Eminem knew the album was a dud and just left subtle clues to the listener to figure out how and why the album was a misfire. This may sound bat-shit insane in theory, so let me explain.
"Rhyme or Reason": This title can not only be applied to the album, but the song itself. Is there any reason for Eminem to start rapping like Yoda on a track that's supposed to dead serious? What about making a bunch of tired pop culture references that stopped being funny before the original Marshall Mathers LP came out? Yep there's certainly no rhyme or reason for it and this was only the first strike of many against Eminem's comeback attempt.
"So Much Better": Eminem is "So Much Better" at writing hooks than this. This is the man that has come up with some of the catchiest and most triumphant choruses in the history of hip-hop with tracks like "My Name Is", "The Real Slim Shady", "Without Me" and "Lose Yourself". The hooks on The Marshall Mathers LP 2 are lacking to say the least. Every hook on this album is either something dull from Eminem himself or some robotic-sounding female vocalist saying a few words before Eminem goes back to rapping. Honestly the only hook that works on this album is from Rihanna on "The Monster", which is actually catchy and earns the dubious honor of being the only hook that managed to stay in my head after I was done listening to the album. The lack of Eminem's signature anathematic hooks honestly might be the biggest failure of The Marshall Marshall Mathers LP 2.
"Survival": The Marshall Mathers LP 2 is the work of a man that is desperate to survive and stay relevant in the modern hip-hop scene. Of course, Eminem's best strategy is try to recapture the fond memories of his most celebrated album The Marshall Mathers LP. The thing is that this attempt to recapture his roots is so lazy and fabricated that it just fails. The smart-ass, royally pissed-off rebel of his early days is gone. He's 41 years old now and those emotions have completely wavered over the past decade or so since he was crafted his seminal pieces of work. Watching him to try to recapture his energy and tone of old with songs like album opener "Bad Guy" (which is a direct sequel to Marshall Mathers LP standout "Stan") "Rap God" and "Evil Twin" is just kind of sad. There's a handful of clever lines in each of these tracks, it's just that they're overshadowed by the contrived nature and overall sense of familiarity in the songs. He seems to think if he raps fast and calls people obscene names that some kind of time machine will open up and he'll king of the rap game again, but that's just not the case. As Liz Rodrigues croons on the hook to "Survival", hip-hop is survival of the fittest and in 2013, Eminem is officially dead.
"Legacy": Eminem spends all of "Legacy" rapping about his legacy and contributions to the rap game. I had a smirk on my face the whole time he was spitting bars about how he is in control of the lasting impact he leaves on the hip-hop world. If he wanted to preserve his legacy, he would've stopped making music after The Eminem Show. His last four albums have been an odd cross between parody of his former self and a man who has gone soft and bought into the pop-rap movement. He continues to further tarnish his legacy with each new release he puts out and The Marshall Mathers LP 2 does a great job reaffirming this.
"Berzerk": Eminem must've gone "Berzerk" if he thought he could actually sing. This is the man once opened a track by saying "Yo I can't sing": He should've stuck to his guns on that one. On "Stronger Than I Was", he spends almost the entire song singing. Eminem isn't a rapper like Kid Cudi or Mac Miller, who have decent voices and can get away with singing from time to time with no issue at all. Listening to Eminem sing is absolutely agonizing to listen to and could be considered by law enforcement as a new torture device to get prisoners to talk.
"Brainless": Spending a lot of time singing isn't the only "Brainless" thing about The Marshall Mathers LP 2. The once sharp and biting MC is getting lazier and lazier with his lyrics. Some of the doozies on this album include "Even Helen Keller knows life stinks", "The art of MC'ing mixed with da Vinci and MC Ren and I don't mean Stimpy's friend bitch." and of course, "I'm bout to clean house yo I'm Lysol, now I'm just household." The old Marshall Mathers would probably shake his head at what the 2013 version of himself is writing. Adding to the "Brainless" theme of the album is the absolutely abysmal production throughout the album. There's maybe 1-2 beats on this record that are even listenable. A majority of the beats are either boring or just plain sloppy ("Berzerk is one of the worst beats I've heard in my entire life. The fact that an icon like Rick Rubin was able to produces something so messy and obnoxious is mind-boggling. Don't even get me started on the sampling... ) I have complete confidence that almost anyone on the planet could come up with something better dicking around in Garage Band for a couple of hours
"Evil Twin": The "Evil Twin" Eminem speaks of in this song could easily be inserted as a metaphor for the last decade of his career. Since the release of Encore, it seems like a different man (or evil twin) has taken the reigns of Eminem's music. The man who once made classics like The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP is now producing shit that struggles to even be listenable, let alone classic. Eminem was an excellent rapper who was among the best to ever do it , his evil twin can't even hold a candle to modern rappers who don't take themselves seriously (i.e. Waka Flocka Flame, A$AP Rocky.)
The Marshall Mathers LP 2 is the musical equivalent of a middle-aged man returning to his college fraternity 20 years after graduating: There's a few laughs and a little bit of nostalgic fun to be had, but it's mostly just sad and reeks of desperation. Eminem tries to prove he's back in hip-hop's in-crowd by rapping at a high speed and constantly hurling around vulgar insults like back in-the-day, but his heart just isn't it in like it was back then. He's desperate to get back on-top and win back his old fans with this record and it just fails big time. It's sad to watch an artist that was so groundbreaking and authentic back in the day become so lazy and phony later in his career. The Marshall Mathers LP 2 once and for all buries Eminem's career and credibility in the hip-hop business. As far as I'm concerned, Eminem needs to finally retire before he further embarrasses himself. He is the past of Detroit hip-hop, Danny Brown is the present and future and the sooner Mr. Mathers realizes this the better it for the hip-hop community.
2/5 Stars
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