Saturday, February 4, 2017

Super Bowl 51 (Super Bowl LI) Prediction

Conference Championship Record: 1-1 (Correct: Patriots Incorrect: Packers)
Overall Record: 6-4

New England Patriots over Atlanta Falcons: Here we are again. The league's top scoring offense and the league's top scoring defense duking it out for the Lombardi Trophy. WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP IN THIS MATCHUP OF THE CENTURY!?!?!?!??!

I'm one of the few assholes on the planet that is not buying into the super-competitive shootout narrative a majority of footballs fans have attached to this game. Not only do I think that Super Bowl 51 isn't going to be a shootout, I believe that it's going to be a Buccaneers/Raiders or Seahawks/Broncos-esque beatdown.

It's a widely-known fact that the only way you can beat the Patriots is if you get Tom Brady out of his rhythm early by repeatedly hitting him and the Falcons don't have a good-enough pass-rush to accomplish that rarely-achieved feat. The Patriots are going to hone in on league sack-leader Vic Beasley and there's no one else on this defense that comes anywhere close to matching Beasley's impact as a pass-rusher.

In addition to having a below-average pass-rush, the Falcons defense is wildly inexperienced (6 of their 11 starters are in either their 1st or 2nd second year in the league) and pretty poor on the whole, which makes them a prime candidate to get steamrolled by the Patriots offense. They have looked much better over the last month and their performance against the Packers high-powered offense was outstanding, but they don't have the coverage skills or volume of consistent playmakers to handle the Patriots trademark short-to-intermediate passing attack or the platoon of running backs (LeGarrette Blount, Dion Lewis, James White) they like to deploy at various points of the game. Considering that the Patriots scored 34 points against a very good Texans defense in the Divisional Round, they could easily hang 50 on this highly flawed unit.

Of course the reason this game is being prematurely billed as a Super Bowl classic is because of the Falcons electric offense led by MVP Matt Ryan., but like the Broncos in 2013, I expect this historically-excellent offense to get buried on the NFL's biggest stage. While the Patriots defense definitely isn't as dominant as their number 1 ranking indicates, they're talented enough on all 3 levels to prevent this lauded offense from having one of their patented 30-40 point scoring outbursts. Malcolm Butler is more than capable of ensuring that Julio Jones doesn't have a monumental impact on the game and the Patriots 3rd-ranked run defense should be able to shut down the overrated combo of Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman, which should kill the versatility that drove their improbable NFC Championship run.

Barring the 2011 Patriots Swiss cheese secondary making a surprise cameo in Houston, the Falcons are going to get the ever-loving shit kicked out of them on Sunday and Patriots fans wet dream of Rahga Goodell handing the GOAT TB12 the Lombahdi Trophy will come true. My only hope is that Sunday night will be the last time I ever hear the terms "Deflategate", "Revenge Tour" and "New England Patriots Super Bowl Champions" for the rest of my wretched existence. 

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