Movie Review: Atomic Blonde

Atomic Blonde really shouldn't work. The first third of the movie is an unevenly-paced mess that is way too committed to telling its middling international espionage story (hell yeah tracking down lists of government agents that have fallen into the wrong hands) and there's a grand total of zero characters that have anything that even resembles a personality. Despite the presence of these crippling hurdles, the film miraculously still manages to be a captivating hybrid of hyper-stylized action and spy movie absurdity.

For what Atomic Blonde lacks in a compelling storyline and charismatic characters, it makes up for in sheer style. Director David Leitch (John Wick) has put together a slick movie that has a completely different look and feel than any other action or spy flick that has come out in recent years. I mean can you name another movie that features an arms dealer's henchman getting his head stomped in to Nena's "99 Luft Balloons"? How about one that is set in the final days of the Cold War and features a striking color scheme that perfectly fits the mood of every scene? Or one that features a protagonist that actually makes smoking cigarettes look cool? The retro vibe Leitch establishes here possesses the lively spirit that his character's lack and gives Atomic Blonde the creative jolt it needed to standout in this perpetually crowded genre.   

The allure of Atomic Blonde is also bolstered by its impressive fight scenes. Charlize Theron, who nails her role as a soulless killing machine, plays an MI-6 operative that specializes in hand-to-hand combat and the film wisely gives her ample time to show how off her special set of skills. Leitch handles his first solo directorial effort gracefully by staging a half-dozen or so manic, perfectly-choreographed fight scenes including a show-shopping, 12-minute long take brawl in a stairwell that turns into a car chase that deserves immediate entry into the action sequence hall-of-fame. There's a lot of joy to be had in watching Theron take out rooms full of enemies with hardly any practical weapons and I applaud Leitch for continuing to be an innovator in the underrated artform of elaborate cinematic fight scenes.

For my money, Atomic Blonde succeeds where the Bourne movies failed. There's enough crazy action setpieces, interesting visuals and general badassery here to make up for the uninspired, "twist"-filled story that ties all of the flashiness together. When it comes to pure exercises in style over substance, you really can't get much better than this.        

4/5 Stars

Concert Review: Summer Slaughter-- Worcester, MA-- July 29th, 2017

Lineup: The Black Dahlia Murder/Dying Fetus/The Faceless/Oceano/Origin/Rings of Saturn/Betraying the Martyrs/Lorna Shore/AngelMaker (Note: Due to visa issues, Slaughter to Prevail did not appear)
Venue: The Palladium Downstairs, Worcester, MA
Date: July 29th, 2017

AngelMaker: Arrived late and missed their set.

Lorna Shore: Arrived late and missed their set.
  
Betraying the Martyrs: Arrived late and missed their set.

Rings of Saturn: Even though I purposely showed up late due to my lack of interest in the early bands on the lineup, I still ended up catching the final third of the set from the godfathers of aliencore. Much like the only other time I saw them, their live show ended up exceeding my very low expectations. The addition of orchestral elements and bursts of melody to their signature, highly technical style has helped Rings of Saturn evolve from their messy beginnings as an aimless guitar wank porn vanity project for founding member Lucas Mann. While their reliance on weak deathcore breakdowns and Ian Bearer's middling vocals prevent them from being anything truly noteworthy, Rings of Saturn definitely isn't the heaping shitpile they used to be.

Origin: The first time I saw Origin at Summer Slaughter 2014 was kind of a clusterfuck. Their horrific sound mix that can only be described as a wall of noise overshadowed their intense stage presence and made them the clear lowlight on a day that was otherwise full of top-notch performances. This time around was a pretty substantial improvement to say the least. While the sound still wasn't great, every instrument was at least audible and the energy level they bring to their set is absolutely insane for a band that's so unrelentingly technical. Origin will never be high up in my personal tech death hierarchy, but they're a very talented band that can really bring it live.

Oceano: This was the moment that I had been dreading the entire day. Oceano is a band that I've despised ever since they dropped their snooze-inducing debut Depths in 2009 and their live sets are especially painful thanks to their vocalist Adam Warren's non-stop calls for the audiences to beat the shit out of each other. To be fair, they weren't nearly as insufferable as usual. Warren has significantly toned down his faux tough guy schtick and unlike the previous three times I'd seen them, their sound mix was very clear. However, they're still the posterboys for boilerplate deathcore and even without all of the "knock out the motherfucker that's standing next to you" crap, Warren's stage presence still manages to be pretty obnoxious (his tangent about how the band underwent bent a rebirth a few years back because they started making music about aliens and alternative universes was cringeworthy as hell). If you're a fan of Oceano, their live show will more than likely will leave you very impressed. If you're not, you'll probably just shake your head and wish you had spent 30 minutes doing something more productive.

The Faceless: The beacon of dysfunction otherwise known as The Faceless was able to get their shit together for long enough to actually show up for a show! With their constant lineup changes, long-delayed albums and canceled tours, being a fan of this band can be incredibly frustrating. That being said, the tremendous level of talent they possess when they actually put out music and/or perform makes dealing with all these headaches worthwhile. Despite performing with a fill-in drummer that had learned their songs within the last week and facing some heckling from fans that were clearly fed up with group mastermind Michael Keene's antics, the band managed to be a commanding, efficient powerhouse for the 40 minutes they were on stage. The raw, black metal-tinged screams from vocalist Ken Soreceron (Abigail Williams) fit in far better with The Faceless' intergalactic prog/tech death sound than I expected them to and watching Keene rip through his dense, shifting solos never fails to be awe-inspiring for a guitar nerd like myself. The Faceless is a highly underrated live band and I'm really looking forward to hearing their new album when it finally surfaces sometime in the summer of 2020.  

Dying Fetus: If you want to have your touring death metal festival be a success, you invite Dying Fetus to the party. These unholy bastards have been inciting mass headbanging and massive mosh pits for over 20 years and unlike a lot of their peers from the second wave of death metal, their devastation game is stronger than ever. Their riff-driven take on brutal death metal is tailor-made for a live setting and establishes a vicious yet still super fun atmosphere that simply can't be matched by anyone else on the scene right now. If for some strange reason you're a death metal fan that has never seen Dying Fetus live, you need to remedy that ASAP.

The Black Dahlia Murder: Since I launched this blog seven years ago, I've repeatedly cited that my first exposure to death metal came with The Black Dahlia Murder's 2005 album Miasma. While Miasma is an excellent record that played a crucial role in the development of my love for extreme music, their 2007 album Nocturnal was the album that solidified Black Dahlia's standing as one of my favorite bands. Last night, I got to see them play Nocturnal in its entirety to commemorate the 10th anniversary of its release and it ended up being just as special as I'd hoped it would be. 

I've long contested that Nocturnal was to the 2000's what At the Gates' Slaughter of the Soul and In Flames' Whoracle were to the 90's and after seeing it played live, I've never felt stronger about this take. Seeing these songs played with the accompaniment of dim, dark lighting amplifies the eerie vibe of the record and allows the records distinct combination of pummeling traditional death metal and striking ominous melodies to really get under your skin. To me, this record sounds like being stuck in a haunted house for 37 minutes, so having that metaphor come to life before my very eyes made for a surreal and invigorating experience. 

Having an ambiance that matches the record's sound is nice and all, but the band's sharpness is what hammered home the very high quality of this retrospective set. Brandon Ellis perfectly recreated the distinct haunting guitar tone then-guitarist John Kempainen crafted on the studio recordings while frontman Trevor Strnad still possesses some of the most powerful and wide-ranging screams in the history of the genre. There's always a fear that an artist is going to burst your nostalgia bubble by screwing up songs you've loved for a long time in a live setting, but Black Dahlia has the precision to make this group of tracks sound just as catchy, sinister and consistently memorable now as they did when I was blaring them in my room non-stop when I was 15.    

In addition to playing Nocturnal in its entirety, they premiered the title track from their upcoming album Nightbringers-which is an absolute RIPPER of a track. If the rest of material on the album is as riff-centric, crushing and fun as "Nightbringers", Black Dahlia could have yet another classic on their hands. As I've watched a number of bands that I worshiped as a teenager suddenly deteriorate when I hit my 20's (Mastodon, ) it's great to see Black Dahlia Murder continuing to put on killer shows and releasing kick-ass music. Finding hardened veteran bands that can be depended on to deliver the goods 15+ years into their careers is pretty rare and for the sake of my fragile psyche, I really fucking hope that father time doesn't eat away at Black Dahlia's ability to put forth consistently strong output.

Scores:
Rings of Saturn 5.5/10
Origin 8/10
Oceano 3.5/10
The Faceless 9/10
Dying Fetus 9/10
The Black Dahlia Murder 10/10

Setlists:
Rings of Saturn included:
Seized and Devoured

Origin included:
Expulsion of Fury
The Aftermath
Truthslayer
Unattainable Zero

The Faceless:
Sons of Belial
The Spiraling Void
An Autopsy
Autotheist Movement I: Create
Autotheist Movement II: Emancipate
Autotheist Movement III: Deconsecrate 

Dying Fetus:
Justifiable Homicide
Intentional Manslaughter
Subjected to a Beating
Fixation on Devastation
Invert the Idols
Your Treachery Will Die with You
Wrong One to Fuck With
Killing on Adrenaline 

The Black Dahlia Murder:
Everything Went Black
What a Horrible Night to Have a Curse
Virally Yours
I Worship Only What You Bleed
Nocturnal
Deathmask Divine
Of Darkness Spawned
Climatic Degradation
To a Breathless Oblvion
Warborn
Nightbringers (new song)
I Will Return

Album Review: Lana Del Rey-Lust for Life

It's official: America is finally great again. After a 5-year hiatus, the Red, White and Blue's finest melancholy songstress (aka Lana Del Rey) has made a glorious, long-awaited return to the world of trip hop on her fifth LP Lust for Life. Hearing Del Rey sing over low-key, trap-influenced production again was the musical equivalent of LeBron James coming back to win a championship for his hometown after winning a couple of titles elsewhere. As great as it was to see her branch out into the world of stripped-down blues on 2014's Ultraviolence and Billie Holiday-inspired lounge music on 2015's Honeymoon, the understated hip-hop beats help give the bulk of the songs on Lust for Life the subtle build-ups and giant hooks that were largely missing from her past two albums. The world is a better place with trip hop Lana Del Rey in it and I'm absolutely fucking elated that she decided to venture back to her roots on this album.

Outside of the initial joy/shock that I felt towards her sudden re-commitment to the sound she perfected on her breakout 2012 album Born to Die and the flashes of optimism that are present in some of the lyrics, Lust for Life is just business as usual for Del Rey. For better or worse, this record is another collection of somber, pain-soaked anthems from a powerful singer that has successfully brought old-school crooning into the modern era. Her reliance on the same lyrical topics (lost love, broken dreams, 50's and 60's American icons, etc.) and overwhelmingly melancholy compositions  would've probably already gotten stale in the hands of a lesser artist, but Del Rey's consistently strong vocal performances and gift for establishing haunting, immersive atmospheres on every record she's put out to-date has allowed to become one of the most consistently impressive artists in the modern music landscape. While it certainly won't win over any of her many passionate detractors, Lust for Life is pure bliss for anyone that's on-board with the nostalgia-obsessed musings from pop's queen of sadness.    

4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks
1.Heroin
2.13 Beaches
3.Get Free

2017 NFL Preview: AFC East

Buffalo Bills

2016 Record: 7-9 (3rd in AFC East)

Head Coach: Sean McDermott (1st season)

Notable Additions: K Steven Hauschka, OLB Gerald Hodges, S Micah Hyde

Notable Departures: CB Stephon Gilmore, ILB Zach Brown, WR Robert Woods

-After heavy speculation about owner Terry Pegula wanting to select his successor in this year's draft, the Bills committed to Tyrod Taylor as their starting quarterback for at least the 2017 season by re-working the complex, fugazi "contract extension" he signed before the 2016 season. The fact that the team was seriously considering severing ties with Taylor is absolutely insane to me. While he has had some struggles performing in clutch situations and punching the ball into the endzone (he's only thrown 37 TD's in his 29 career starts) during his first 2 seasons as a starter, Taylor is an excellent decisionmaker (he's only throw 6 INT's in each of the past 2 seasons) with impressive accuracy (62.7 CMP % since joining the Bills) and the ability to extend plays with his legs. If Taylor can smoothly adjust to new offensive coordinator Rick Dennison's system and continue to hone his skills as a passer, Pegula and recently-hired GM Brandon Beane will have no reason to not go all-in on Taylor as their franchise QB.

-I never thought I'd write these words, but the Bills are going to miss Robert Woods. While Woods was far from a star, he was a sure-handed, short-yardage option that keep the passing attack afloat whenever oft-injured top wideout Sammy Watkins was out of the lineup. The starting spot vacated by Woods is completely up in the air as of right now and the guys in-line to replace him are unlikely to ease the minds of anyone that's concerned about the team's lack of reliable options in the passing game. Rookie Zay Jones is a raw possession receiver that didn't face a lot of top-flight competition while he was at East Carolina, holdover Walt Powell isn't good for anything more than the occasional freak TD on a deep streak route and the treasure trove of veterans they brought in to "bolster" the depth are pretty much a who's who of anonymous, below average wideouts (Corey "Philly" Brown, Andre Holmes, Rod Streater). Their strong running attack led by LeSean McCoy has helped this offense be relatively respectable over the past couple of years, but they aren't going to become a truly viable offense until someone besides Watkins can step up as a consistent producer in the passing game.

-1st-year head coach Sean McDermott is coming to Buffalo with one of the strongest defensive pedigrees in the league and he's going to need use it to fix this deeply flawed unit. Despite getting some excellent play from unlikely sources (inside linebacker Zach Brown, who left for the Redskins in free agency and outside linebacker Lorenzo Alexander) and registering a healthy number of sacks (39, 8th in the league), this unit still managed to underwhelm in most major stat categories (19th in total defense, 29th in run defense, tied for 16th in points allowed per game, tied for 23rd in takeaways) a year ago. McDermott was excellent at getting young players and journeyman to produce throughout his 6-year tenure as the Panthers defensive coordinator and if he can get guys like Shaq Lawson, Reggie Ragland and Jordan Poyer to perform at even a relatively high level, this defense could end up being sneaky good.

-While pretty much inevitable, the departure of longtime top corner Stephon Gilmore is going to sting. Even with his overly-aggressive, takeaway-driven playing style leading to some huge plays for opposing offenses, he had the coverage ability to shut down top-level receivers on any given Sunday that only a dozen or so corners in the league have. However, the gloom over Gilmore leaving for the greener pastures of Foxboro, Massachusetts could quickly subside if the team's new young corner tandem of Ronald Darby and Tre'Davious White ends up delivering on their abundance of raw potential.  White was arguably the most gifted man-cover corner in this year's draft and despite a rough sophomore season in 2016 where he showed very little of the on-ball dominance he flashed throughout his excellent rookie campaign, Darby has the physicality/fluid footwork/ball skill combo to morph into a legit top corner in the NFL. The results might not come right away, but the Darby/White corner pairing could turn into something really special.

Bottom Line:
 The Bills don't appear to have the talent or depth on either side of the ball to end their league-high 17-year playoff drought this season.

Miami Dolphins

2016 Record: 10-6 (2nd in AFC East)

Head Coach: Adam Gase (2nd season)

Notable Additions: DE William Hayes, TE Julius Thomas, OLB Lawrence Timmons

 Notable Departures: T Branden Albert, TE Jordan Cameron (retired), ILB Jelani Jenkins

-While it's good to see the Dolphins not continue their bad habit of insane free-agent spending, I don't think they did a great job of addressing their needs this offseason. Adding a pair of aging veterans in defensive end William Hayes and outside linebacker Lawrence Timmons to their already fossil-filled front 7, a journeyman guard in Ted Larsen and swamping out one below average tight end in Jordan Cameron for another one in Julius Thomas aren't exactly the type of moves that make you a serious contender. Their draft picks were similarly uninspiring as they took a number of players(defensive end Charles Harris, outside linebacker Raekwon McMillan, cornerback Cordrea Tankersly) that are unlikely to make an immediate impact. This is a squad that was very fortunate to make the playoffs last year and with the lack of attention paid to addressing their inconsistent secondary, shaky offensive line and horrible run D, I wouldn't be surprised to see a steep dropoff in play this season.

-Despite his outstanding sophomore campaign, I'm very concerned about Jay Ajayi's ability to be continuously successful as a 3-down back in this league. His pummeling rushing style and history of knee ailments makes him a massive injury liability, a lot of the success he had in 2016 (776 of his 1,272 yards) came against bottom-10 run defenses and despite their improvements, the Dolphins O-line still can't be relied to run block on a consistent basis. Ajayi has absolutely proven enough to be trusted as the Dolphins starter, I just don't know if he has the durability or tackle-shedding ability to be a legit top-tier running back in the league.

- DeVante Parker really needs to step his game up this season. While he definitely showed some a bit of progress last season (56 REC, 744 YDS and 4 TD's, up from 26 REC, 494 YDS and 3 TD's in his rookie year in 2015) and has gotten plenty of opportunities to produce as the Dolphins lone big-body outside receiver, the former 1st-round pick's first 2 years in the league have largely been defined by mediocrity and invisibility in key situations. If Parker can build on the decent finish he had to the 2016 season and become the lethal redzone threat he was touted to be when he came out of Louisville, the Dolphins receiving corps-currently led by possession receiver extraordinaire/YAC master Jarvis Landry and speedster Kenny Stills-could transform into one of the most dangerous groups in the league.

-The biggest hope the Dolphins have of building on their 10-6 2016 campaign comes in the form of quarterback Ryan Tannehill progressing in his 2nd year in Adam Gase's offense. Gase's quarterback whisper status is notorious around the league and Tannehill is arguably the most well-rounded signalcaller he's gotten to work with outside of Peyton Manning. Tannehill has been on the cusp of breaking out for the past few years and if Gase's renowned tutelage takes, he could finally achieve the NFL superstardom that's alluded him since he entered the league in 2012.


Bottom Line:
 With a much more difficult schedule and pretty much the same roster as they had a year ago, I have a hard time envisioning the Dolphins returning to the playoffs in 2017.

New England Patriots

2016 Record: 14-2 (1st in AFC East)

Head Coach: Bill Belichick (18th season)

Notable Additions: WR Brandin Cooks, CB Stephon Gilmore, TE Dwayne Allen

Notable Departures: TE Martellus Bennett, RB LeGarette Blount, CB Logan Ryan

-The talent gap between the Patriots and the rest of the league is so huge that the annual "19-0" talk that the Boston media and legions of obnoxious fans pedal to fill dead air in July doesn't seem completely insane this year. Even if you disregard their absurd free agent haul, there isn't a team in the league that will be able to touch them come playoff time and even with all of the up-and-downs that occur during the season, they could very well survive all of their tough-ish road opponents (Saints, Buccaneers, Raiders, Broncos). While I'd be very surprised if they actually pulled off an undefeated season, Brady and Belichick are going to straight-up coast to their 6th championship.

-While the narrative has been beaten to death since they completed the trade with the Saints for rising star wide receiver Brandin Cooks on March 10th, I'd be remiss to not mention the plethora of notable offseason acquisitions the Patriots made. Belichick used his abundance of cap space to add to the team's embarrassment of riches by bringing in the likes of Cooks, cornerback Stephon Gilmore, tight end Dwayne Allen, running back Mike Gillislee and defensive end Lawrence Guy. These moves give the Patriots even more depth than they had during last year's Super Bowl run, which is truly horrifying to think about.

-As talented as they are, I'm not convinced that Cooks and Gilmore are going to end up having the monumental impact that pretty much every other football fan on the planet believes they're going to have. Cooks is a deep-threat specialist who can't break tackles that completely clashes with the Patriots short-to-indeterminate passing philosophy while Gilmore is an Asante Samuel-esque gambler in coverage that is coming off one of the worst years of his career. Be sure to check back in January when both of them are All-Pros and I once again look like a complete dingus for doubting a couple of Belichick's personnel moves. 

-After leaning on a power running attack over the past half-decade, Belichick decided to revamp his rushing attack to fit the league's current, speed-driven mentality in free agency. Projected starter Gillislee is the type of dual-threat burner that the Pats usually use as a secondary option, except bigger (5"11, 218 lbs) and with a much stronger nose for the endzone (he scored 9 total TD's with the Bills last season) while former Bengal Rex Burkhead brings yet another gifted pass-catcher into this backfield. Throwing Gillislee and Burkhead into the mix with Dion Lewis and Super Bowl 51 hero James White easily gives the Patriots one of the strongest RB committees they've had during the Belichick-era.

-There really isn't much else to say about this team because the Patriots are so good, so I'll end this write-up by dropping a really unpopular take: I firmly believe that Tom Brady is going to retire after this season. The whole "I'm going to play until I'm 85 because I'm in such great shape thanks to my avocado, hay and magic concussion water diet" shtick is a load of bullshit and when he gets his 6th ring in February, he'll have more than anybody else to every play the game (he's currently tied with former Cowboys/49ers defensive end Charles Haley), rendering his quest to be the most successful player in the history of the NFL complete. I also believe that Belichick's refusal to trade backup Jimmy Garoppolo, whose contract is up after this season, to the Browns for at least 2 first round picks on draft night further backs up this narrative. The national nightmare of the Patriots being in contention for a Super Bowl every fucking season appears to be on the verge of being over and I couldn't possibly be happier about it.

Bottom Line:
Barring some kind of horrific injury plague that takes out at least half of the roster, the Patriots are going to put together their most effortless-looking championship run to-date in 2017. 

New York Jets

2016 Record: 5-11 (4th in AFC East)

Head Coach: Todd Bowles (3rd season)

Notable Additions: CB Morris Claiborne, T Kelvin Beachum, QB Josh McCown

Notable Departures: WR Eric Decker, WR Brandon Marshall, QB Ryan Fitzpatrick

-Don't look now, but the Jets have finally accepted that the "throw money at any semi-prolific free agent that walks through the door" strategy they've employed for much of the past decade wasn't yielding consistent results on the field. The Jets spent the offseason cutting ties with pretty much every aging veteran (wide receivers Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker, cornerback Darrelle Revis, inside linebacker David Harris, quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick) they had on their books instead of breaking out their checkbook to ink a 32-year old future Hall-of-Famer that can barely walk onto the field every Sunday to a 5-year/$85 mil deal. This massive roster reset is going to lead to the Jets punting the next few seasons, but it was a necessary move for a franchise that had shoot itself in the foot by handing out a litany of bad contracts over the past several years. 


- Their quarterback situation is probably the ugliest I've ever seen in all my years of following football. The Jets have the pleasure of deciding whether Bryce Petty, who threw 3 TD's and 7 INT's in 4 starts last season, oft-injured 38-year old journeyman Josh McCown or 2016 2nd-rounder Christian Hackenberg, who isn't currently equipped to start in the Arena League game let alone the NFL, is going to lead them to the promised land of a 3-win season. McCown's plethora of starting experience and calm demeanor make him the favorite to line up center for this young squad that's in desperate need of strong veteran leadership, but the powers that be could very well decide to throw Petty or Hackenberg out there to ensure they get the number 1 pick in the 2018 Draft and land the potential franchise-altering signal-caller they desperately need. I'm sure that Jets fans are waiting with bated breath to see who wins the lowest-stakes QB competition in the history of professional football.

-The lack of talent at quarterback makes this the perfect situation to heavily showcase dual-threat Bilal Powell out of the backfield. The long-overlooked secret weapon of the Jets offense (he averaged 5.5 yards per carry and picked up 58 receptions last season) saw his role increase exponentially as the 2016 season went on and should continue to get more volume while the team goes through this transitional period at quarterback. Powell's versatility and relative lack of wear for a 28-year old running back should allow to be a bright spot on this mostly unsettled offense.

-It's going to very interesting to see if this previously dominant defensive line can return to form in 2017. Everybody besides 2015 1st-round pick Leonard Williams was embarrassingly ineffective in 2016 and unlike every other spot on defense, the same group of schmucks(Williams, Muhammad Wilkerson, Steve McClendon, Sheldon Richardson) will be starting upfront this season. Their ability to bounce back is going to come down the work ethic of Wilkerson and Richardson. Both of these former top-end talents loafed their way through last year's trainwreck of a season and with the Jets pulling the trigger on a rebuild, there's no guarantee they're going to buy back into the program. This front has the ability to disrupt the hell out of the line of scrimmage if everyone is playing up to their potential, which in turn would help their revamped secondary led by newly-signed cornerback Morris Claiborne and rookie safeties Jamal Adams and Marcus Maye adjust to the scheme, and potentially pick up a couple of additional wins for this ragtag squad.

 -Head coach/martyr Todd Bowles is almost certainly going to go down as the fall guy for the Jets inevitable failure this season, which is complete and utter garbage. The current build of the roster puts Bowles in the position of having a guaranteed losing season in 2017, regardless of how well he handles game-planning and player management on a week-to-week basis. I believe that Bowles deserves a shot to oversee this lengthy rebuilding process, I just doubt that owner Woody Johnson is going to exercise the patience that's required to allow him to try and build something. 

Bottom Line:
With a lack of viable talent at just about every position on both sides of the ball, 2017 is going to be painful even by the Jets incredibly low standards.

Projected Standings:
1.New England Patriots (14-2)
2.Miami Dolphins (8-8)
3.Buffalo Bills (6-10)
4.New York Jets (2-14)

2017 NFL Preview is Coming

The moment that a dozen or so people have been waiting for has finally arrived. My annual in-depth NFL preview series will be starting today with a breakdown of the always ultra-competitive AFC East. Be sure to check back over the next month or so for scorching hot takes, overanalysis and bad jokes galore. 

The Best and Worst of Patrick Stewart

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "The Emoji Movie" star Patrick Stewart.

Films starring Patrick Stewart that I've seen:
X-Men
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius 
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
TMNT 
Gnomeo & Juliet
Ted
X-Men: Days of Future Past
A Million Ways to Die in the West 
Match
Ted 2
Green Room
Logan

Best Performance: Match (2015)
If I were in charge of the show, Stewart would've picked up an Academy Award nomination for this performance. Stewart's turn as a prestigious New York ballet instructor who is confronted by the son (Matthew Lillard) he abandoned to pursue his career is a heartbreaking triumph. If you're a fan of Stewart or small-scale human dramas, I'd highly recommend checking Match out.  

Worst Performance: N/A
While Stewart has lent his voice to numerous animated duds over the years (Gnomeo & Juliet, TMNT), he's yet to embarrass himself in a live-action role. Whether he's playing the leader of a deranged group of meth-cooking neo-Nazis or the wheelchair-bound headmaster of a school for the gifted, Stewart fully commits to the part and typically delivers a standout performance. 

Best Film: Green Room (2016)
A majority of the X-Men films are among my favorite superhero movies, but none of the entries in that underrated franchise can match the brilliance of Jeremy Saulnier's grim, minimalist masterpiece. With an unrelenting level of tension, truly unsettling graphic violence and excellent performances from everyone in its ensemble cast, Green Room permanently raised the bar for claustrophobic, suspense-driven thrillers.     

Worst Film: Gnomeo & Juilet (2011)
If you're giving Stewart shit for appearing in The Emoji Movie, you probably didn't see Gnomeo & Juliet. This insufferable animated musical comedy made me long for the pretension and ye old English of Shakespeare's original work.

Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Columbus" star John Cho.

Album Review: Tyler, the Creator-Flower Boy

For all of his faults as an artist, Tyler, the Creator can never be accused of being boring. His loose, experimental approach to music and over-the-top vulgar lyrical content has made the 26-year old rapper/singer/producer one of the most intriguing and polarizing musical acts of the 2010's.  His fourth LP, Flower Boy, sees Tyler finally starting to grow up without losing his in the process .

After getting through the first few tracks of Flower Boy, it becomes very clear that this isn't the same Tyler, the Creator that rose to prominence making abrasive, horrorcore-tinged hits like "Yonkers" and "Orange Juice". Hell if it wasn't for a pair of goofy, tongue-in-cheek bangers ("Who Dat Boy" and "I Ain't Got Time!) in the middle of the album, there would be nothing here that was even remotely reminiscent of the OFWGKTA/Bastard/Goblin-era.  

Flower Boy is Tyler's way of stripping away the murder, rape and dick joke guise he relied on during the early years of his career and tackling his real insecurities head-on. Over the course of the its 14 tracks, he addresses the subjects of unrequited love ("November"), racial profiling ("Pothole") and feeling constantly alone despite his success as a musician ("Boredom") with potent sincerity and his trademark fearlessness. The long-underutilized introspective side of Tyler's music was begging for a showcase like this since he first introduced it on 2013's Wolf  and this heavy dose of soul-bearing honesty has allowed him to complete his long-needed evolution as an artist.

Tyler's sweeping personal renaissance project also carried over to the production side of the equation. The transition from the signature cheap-sounding, minimalist production that drove his first three LP's to Flower Boy's lush, densely textured beats was a shocking and brilliantly-executed overhaul that helped his music branch out into even more unforeseen directions. His utilization of a variety of influences from all over the musical map (soul, R&B, funk, jazz) establishes a distinct tone that consistently complements the album's melancholic subject matter without ever becoming stale or repetitive. As refreshing as it was to see Tyler grow as a performer and lyricist, the strides Tyler has made as a producer was the most impressive aspect of this record to me.
      
Despite the notable leap in maturity, Flower Boy still manages to be dragged down by the same nagging consistency issues that have plagued Tyler's records throughout his career. Even with the presence of the consistently excellent production and deeply personal lyrical themes that he's never had in the past, Tyler has an incredibly difficult time stringing together sets of great songs on this record. The aimless filler tracks ("Glitter", "See You Again", "Droppin Seeds", "Garden Shed") that are sprinkled throughout Flower Boy prevent it from ever settling into a nice groove and subsequently kill any shot this record had at achieving true excellence. Establishing momentum with extended periods of strong tracks is a fundamental (and often underrated) part of crafting an effective album and Flower Boy's inability to do so makes it a lot less memorable of a release than it should've been.

Even with the greatly-improved production value and unprecedented level of cohesion for a Tyler, the Creator, there's too much dead air present for Flower Boy to be a truly great record. Tyler is a unique voice who has proven time and time again since the Bastard days that he is capable of making fantastic material, but until he is able to parlay these semi-frequent bursts of brilliance into a project that's excellent from start to finish, I'm going to continue to view him as an artist that keeps settling for field goals in the redzone when he should be scoring touchdowns.    

3.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks:
1.Pothole (feat. Jaden Smith)
2.Boredom (feat. Rex Orange County and Anna of thr Noth)
3.Who Dat Boy (feat. A$AP Rocky)

RIP Chester Bennington

When the news of Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington's passing broke this afternoon, I was legitimately in disbelief. It felt like losing an old friend or relative whose relationship you had taken for granted, only to realize how much you missed them once they were gone forever.  Linkin Park's first two records (2001's Hybrid Theory and 2003's Meteora) were full of energetic, angst-ridden anthems that defined my middle school years and played an essential role in developing my love for heavy metal and music in general. While I haven't enjoyed any of the records they've put out since they shifted away from the nu-metal genre on 2007's Minutes to Midnight,  Hybrid Theory and Meteora are still among my all-time favorites. RIP Chester and thanks for the great music.

2016 in Music: Revisited

This might come as a huge shock to people who have just started on the journey known as life, but some opinions have a tendency to change over time. In recent years, I've found that the world of music is where my takes go through the most constant transformations. The frequent shifts in my musical taste is why I like to go back and revisit the music of a given year to see what records have gained, lost and maintained their standing in my eyes. Here's how how I feel about the excellent musical year of 2016, just over six months after I initially posted my year-end recap.  

()=ranking in my 2016 year-end recap
(new)=a record I heard after I posted my year-end recap

EP's:

15.(15)Charli XCX-Vroom Vroom (2/5) (Favorite Track: "Trophy")

14.(14)Gucci Mane and Lil Uzi Vert-1017 vs. the World (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Secure the Bag")

13.(13)TWENTY88-TWENTY88 (3/5) (Favorite Track: "On the Way")

12.(11)Vic Mensa-There's Alot Going On (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Dynasty")
11.(12)Turnstile-Move Thru Me (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Move Thru Me")

10.(10)Carly Rae Jepsen-E.MO.TION Side B (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Higher")

9.(9)Lamb of God-The Duke (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Culling")

8.(8)Skeletonwitch-The Apothic Gloom (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Well of Despair")
7.(5)Gucci Mane & Future-Free Bricks 2 (Zone 6 Edition) (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Kinda Dope")

6.(6)Kiiara-lo kii savage (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Gold")
5.(7)2 Chainz-Hibachi for Lunch (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Good Drank")

4.(4)Michael Christmas-Baggy Eyes EP (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Intercontinental Champion")

3.(3)Vince Staples-Prima Donna (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Loco")

2.(2)Migos-3 Way EP (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Can't Go Out Sad")

1.(1)21 Savage and Metro Boomin-Savage Mode (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "No Advance")

LP's:
143.(135)J.Cole-4 Your Eyez Only (1.5/5) (Favorite Track: "For Whom the Bell Tolls")

142.(140)Future-Purple Reign (1.5/5) (Favorite Track: "All Right")

141.(139)Riff Raff & DJ Afterthought-Balloween (1.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Working Everyday")

140.(138)Rob Zombie-The Electric Warlock Acid Witch Satanic Orgy Celebration Dispenser (2/5) (Favorite Track: "Get Your Boots On! That's the End of Rock and Roll")

139.(137)Kodak Black-Lil B.I.G. Pac (2/5) (Favorite Track: "Vibin in This Bih")

138.(136)Thomas Giles-Velcro Kid (2/5) (Favorite Track: "Immersion Highway")

137.(134)Devin Townsend Project-Transcendence (2/5) (Favorite Track: "Failure")

136.(133)A$AP Ferg-Always Strive and Prosper (2/5) (Favorite Track: "New Level")

135.(132)Clams Casino-32 Levels (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "All Nite")

134.(141)Lil Yachty-Lil Boat (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Minnesota (remix)")
133.(131)D.R.A.M.-Big Baby D.R.A.M. (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Broccoli")

132.(130)Blood Orange-Freetown Sound (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Hands Up")

131.(129)Sia-This is Acting (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: ""Bird Set Free")

130.(128)Textures-Phenotype (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Shaping a Single Grain of Sand")

129.(127)Lil Uzi Vert-The Perfect Luv Tape (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Of Course We Ghetto Flowers")

128.(126)Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-This Unruly Mess I've Made (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: ""Light Tunnels")

127.(125)letlive.-If I'm the Devil... (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "A Weak Ago")

126.(124)Sum 41-13 Voices (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "A Murder of Crows")

125.(123)Red Fang-Only Ghosts (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Shadows")

124.(121)Deftones-Gore (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Prayers/Triangles")

123.(120)Chance the Rapper-Coloring Book (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Juke Jam")

122.(119)Juicy J-#MustBeNice (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Trap")

121.(118)Regina Spektor-Remember Us to Life (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Small Bill$")

120.(117)Childish Gambino-Awaken, My Love! (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Zombies")

119.(116)Red Hot Chili Peppers-The Getaway (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Getaway")
118.(122)Lady Gaga-Joanne (2.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Hey Girl")
117.(115)The Fall of Troy-OK (3/5) (Favorite Track: "401k")

116.(114)Wheeler Walker Jr.-Redneck Shit (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Eatin' Pussy/Kickin' Ass")

115.(113)Steve 'n' Seagulls-Brothers in Farms (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Aces High")

114.(112)Young Thug-I'm Up (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Fuck Cancer (Boosie)")
113.(new)The Hotelier-Goodness (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Goodness Pt.2")

112.(111)Jessy Lanza-Oh No (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Going Somewhere")

111.(110)Beartooth-Aggressive (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Hated")

110.(109)Volbeat-Seal the Deal & Let's Boogie (3/5) (Favorite Track: "The Gates of Babylon")

109.(108)Wormed-Krigshu (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Neomorph Mindkind")

108.(107)gates-Parallel Lives (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Empty Canvas")

107.(106)Solange-A Seat at the Table (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Weary")

106.(105)Nails-You Will Never Be One of Us (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Life is a Death Sentence")

105.(104)NxWorries-Yes Lawd! (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Starlite")

104.(102)Chevelle-The North Corridor (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Last Days")

103.(101)Beyonce-Lemonade (3/5) (Favorite Track: "6 Inch")

102.(100)Nick Jonas-Last Year Was Complicated (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Close")

101.(99)Mac Miller-The Divine Feminine (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Dang!")

100.(98)Carnifex-Slow Death (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Black Candles Burning")

99.(97)Hail the Sun-Culture Scars (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Entertainment Lies")

98.(94)Riff Raff-Peach Panther (3/5) (Favorite Track: "I Drive By")

97.(96)Whitechapel-Mark of the Blade (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Tremors")
96.(95)2 Chainz-Daniel Son; Necklace Don (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Get Out the Bed")
95.(93)Trophy Eyes-Chemical Miracle (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Heaven Sent")

94.(92)Megadeth-Dystopia (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Dystopia")

93.(91)Bury Tomorrow-Earthbound (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Burden")

92.(87)Plini-Handmade Cities (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Cascade")
91.(90)Despised Icon-Beast (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Drapeau Noir")
90.(88)Weezer-Weezer (The White Album) (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Endless Bummer")

89.(86)Aborted-Retrogore (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Coven of Ignorance")

88.(85)Fleshgod Apocalypse-King (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "And the Vulture Beholds")

87.(84)Rae Sremmurd-SremmLife 2 (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Start a Party")
86.(103)Lil Uzi Vert-Lil Uzi Vert vs. the World (3/5) (Favorite Track: "Hi Roller")

85.(89)Young Thug-Slime Season 3 (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "With Them")
84.(83)Invent, Animate-Stillworld (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Celestial Floods")

83.(79)Injury Reserve-Floss (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "All This Money")

82.(78)Dark Tranquility-Atoma (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Force of Hand")

81.(82)Architects-All Our Gods Have Abandoned Us (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Empty Hourglass")
80.(77)Dave East-Kari Chanel (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Keisha")

79.(76)Wovenwar-Honor is Dead (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Compass")

78.(75)CZARFACE-A Fistful of Peril (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Czar Wars")

77.(74)Avenged Sevenfold-The Stage (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Sunny Disposition")

76.(73)A Tribe Called Quest-We Got It From Here... Thank You 4 Your Service (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Conrad Tokyo")

75.(72)Gojira-Magma (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Shooting Star")

74.(71)Metallica-Hardwired... To Self Destruct (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Spit Out the Bone")

73.(70)The Zenith Passage-Solipsist (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Dreamsphere")

72.(69)Korn-Serenity of Suffering (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Die Yet Another Night")

71.(67)Ordinance-The Ides of March (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Bloodwine")

70.(80)Rihanna-ANTI (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Kiss It Better")

69.(new)Vader-The Empire (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Prayer to the God of War")
68.(66)Moon Tooth-Chromaparagon (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Igneous")
67.(65)Deviant Process-Paroxysm (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Persecution")
66.(64)Night Verses-Into the Vanishing Light (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Drift")

65.(68)Silent Planet-Everything Was Sound (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Understanding Love as Loss")
64.(59)Aesop Rock-The Impossible Kid (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Lotta Years")

63.(54)Kendrick Lamar-untitled unmastered. (3.5/5)(Favorite Track: "untitled 07|levitate")

62.(52)Animals as Leaders-The Madness of Many (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Glass Bridge")

61.(62)Anderson.Paak-Malibu (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Season/Carry Me")

60.(60)Drake-Views (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Weston Road Flows")
59.(81)Strugill Simpson-A Sailor's Guide to Earth (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "All Around You")

58.(58)Anthrax-For All Kings (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Breathing Lightning")
57.(61)Gucci Mane-Everybody Looking (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Waybach")
56.(53)Norma Jean-Polar Similar (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "An Ocean of War")
55.(63)blink-182-California (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Kings of the Weekend")
54.(48)A Day to Remember-Bad Vibrations (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Paranoia")

53.(55)2 Chainz & Lil Wayne-Collegrove (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Bounce")
52.(47)Death Angel-The Evil Divide (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Father of Lies")

51.(44)Hatebreed-The Concrete Confessional (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Us Against Us")

50.(46)Isaiah Rashad-The Sun's Tirade (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Free Lunch")
49.(43)Descendants-Hypercaffium Spazzinate (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Shameless Halo")

48.(42)Hope for the Dying-Legacy (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Flame Forged")

47.(50)ScHoolboy Q-Blank Face LP (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Dope Dealer")

46.(49)Flatbush Zombies-3001: A Laced Odyssey (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "The Odyssey")

45.(51)Kanye West-The Life of Pablo (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "No More Parties in LA")

44.(57)Denzel Curry-Imperial (3.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Knotty Head")

43.(41)Abnormality-Mechanisms of Omniscience (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Synthetic Pathogenesis")

42.(40)Trap Them-Crown Feral (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Revival Spines")

41.(39)First Fragment-Dasein (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Mordetre Et Denaissance")

40.(37)Anciients-Voice of the Void (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Worshipper")

39.(38)Killswitch Engage-Incarnate (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Strength of the Mind")
38.(36)Painted in Exile-The Ordeal (4/5) (Favorite Track: "House of Cards")

37.(35)Kvelertak-Nattesferd (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Svartmese")

36.(34)Toothgrinder-Nocturnal Masquerade (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Diamonds for Gold")

35.(33)Gucci Mane-The Return of East Atlanta Santa (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Walk on Water")

34.(32)Serpentine Dominion-Serpentine Dominion (4/5) (Favorite Track: "The Vengeance in Me")

33.(31)YG-Still Brazy (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Twist My Fingaz")

32.(29)Gucci Mane-Woptober (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Wop")
31.(56)Young Thug-Jeffrey (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Harambe")

30.(30)Dance Gavin Dance-Mothership (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Chucky vs. the Giant Tortoise")
29.(45)Tove Lo-Lady Wood (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Don't Talk About It")
28.(28)Amon Amarth-Jomsviking (4/5) (Favorite Track: "On a Sea of Blood")

27.(27)Meshuggah-The Violent Sleep of Reason (4/5) (Favorite Track: "By the Ton")

26.(26)Polyphia-Renaissance (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Culture Shock")

25.(23)Thank You Scientist-Stranger Heads Prevail (4/5) (Favorite Track: "The Amateur Arsonist's Handbook")
24.(21)Testament-Brotherhood of the Snake (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Seven Seals") 

23.(22)After the Burial-Dig Deep (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Deluge")

22.(20)Future-EVOL (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Seven Rings")

21.(13)Black Crown Initiate-Selves We Cannot Forgive (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Again")

20.(25)The Weeknd-Starboy (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Secrets")

19.(24)Obscura-Akroasis (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Perpetual Infinity")

18.(16)Frank Ocean-Blonde (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Pink + White")

17.(19)Periphery-Periphery III: Select Level (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Flatline")

16.(18)Car Bomb-Meta (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Black Blood")

15.(15)Allegaeon-Proponent for Sentience (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Of Mind and Matrix")

14.(14)Travi$ Scott-Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Sweet Sweet")

13.(11)Migos-Y.R.N. 2 (Young Rich Niggas 2) (4/5) (Favorite Track: "WOA")

12.(10)Death Grips-Bottomless Pit (4/5) (Favorite Track: "BB Poison")

11.(9)Vale of Pnath-II (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Reaver")

10.(12)Every Time I Die-Low Teens (4/5) (Favorite Track: "The Coin Has a Say")

9.(17)Banks-The Altar (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Gemini Feed")

8.(7)Touche Amore-Stage Four (4/5) (Favorite Track: "New Halloween")

7.(8)Ariana Grande-Dangerous Woman (4/5) (Favorite Track: "Bad Decisions")

6.(6)Run the Jewels-RTJ3 (4.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Panther Like A Panther")

5.(5)Revocation-Great is Our Sin (4.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Crumbling Imperium")

4.(4)Entheos-The Infinite Nothing (4.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Perpetual Miscalculations")

3.(3)The Dillinger Escape Plan-Dissociation (4.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Honeysuckle")

2.(2)Danny Brown-Atrocity Exhibition (4.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Ain't It Funny")

1.(1)Fallujah-Dreamless (4.5/5) (Favorite Track: "Adrenaline")

Movie Review: To the Bone

Netflix's journey into the world of original hasn't exactly been a rousing success thus far. Since they launched their scripted film division in the fall of 2015, they've only had three projects (Beasts of No Nation, Okja and 2017 Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize Winner I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore) generate any sort of notable buzz among critics and audiences. To the Bone, which is the fourth Sundance acquisition to premiere on Netflix this year, is yet another flawed albeit watchable entry into the streaming juggernaut's middling library of original films.

As the first film in recent memory that was brave enough to tackle the subject of eating disorders, it's hard to not look at To the Bone as somewhat of a missed opportunity. Every glimpse that writer/director Marti Moxon (I Am Number Four, the 2011 remake of Fright Night) provides into the mindset of the people that are dealing with anorexia is largely undercut by the story's frequent descents into cheap, tearjerker territory. This reliance on forced melodrama is especially disappointing given the fact that Moxon and star Lily Collins have battled eating disorders in the past. Both of these women have the firsthand experience required to tell a poignant story about this condition that quietly effects millions of people around the world, but for some inexplicable reason, they largely bypass diving into this underexplored topic by making a film that favors inorganic, Nicolas Sparks-esque weepy emotional conflict over raw realism. While Moxon's intentions were 110% in the right place, a majority of To the Bone was too contrived to resonate with me.

The impersonal ridiculousness that sinks To the Bone's narrative is offset (to an extent) by the excellent acting delivered from some of the cast's key players. Collins gives the clear standout performance of her up-and-down career to-date as Ellen, the film's cynical, self-aware protagonist. Even when the story veers into full-blown soap opera territory in the final half-hour, Collins makes Ellen magnetic and emphatic enough to rise above the hokey trash that's going on around her. Hopefully this impressive turn will result in the 28-year old getting some better scripts thrown her way in the future.

Keanu Reeves also shines as the "unorthodox" doctor who runs the group home Ellen checks into early on in the film. Reeves prevents the character from being an insufferable hippie douche by beautifully juxtaposing compassion with a straight-shooting, no bullshit-attitude. It's a really remarkable piece of work from a guy that's been regularly accused of having no emotional range during his 25+ years in Hollywood.

To the Bone is a terrific example of why admirable intentions aren't enough to make a movie great. Despite her immense respect for the subject matter, Moxon's film lacks the grounded realism, soul-bearing insight and emotional resonance that drives every effective low-key human drama. I'm fairly confident that someone will come along and make a poignant film about the struggles of living with with and/or overcoming an eating disorder, but unfortunately To the Bone isn't it.

3/5 Stars  

The Best and Worst of Cillian Murphy

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "Dunkirk" star Cillian Murphy.

Films starring Cillian Murphy that I've seen:
28 Days Later
Batman Begins
Red Eye
The Dark Knight
Inception
Tron: Legacy
In Time
The Dark Knight Rises  
Transcendence
In the Heart of the Sea 

Best Performance: Red Eye (2005)
Wes Craven's claustrophobic, airplane-set thriller Red Eye has too many absurd, head-scratching plot points to be great, but the sheer force of Murphy's performance makes it worth a watch. Murphy brings the perfect blend of charisma and menace to the role of Jackson Rippner, a psychotic terrorist that ensnares a Miami-based hotel manager (Rachel McAdams) into an assassination plot involving a government official (Jack Scalia).

Worst Performance: Transcendence (2014)
Since his breakout role in the cult classic zombie flick 28 Days Later, Murphy has established himself as one of the most consistent, scene-stealing character actors in the film industry. Then Transcendence came along and proved that the underrated British actor wasn't bulletproof. The stoic, dumbfounded expression that was plastered onto Murphy's face throughout this film was a spot-on visual representation of how I felt while I was watching this dull trainwreck unfold in front of me.

Best Film: 28 Days Later (2002)
It took a genre outsider in Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 127 Hours) to shake up zombie films forever. The late George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead series envisioned zombies as slow-moving, aimless creatures that were easy to escape from if they weren't in packs. Boyle's film flips the script by making the zombies fast-moving, intelligent creatures that can chase down their prey with relative ease. This creative decision may seem trivial to non-fans, but it helps make 28 Days Later more captivating, horrifying and realistic-feeling than any other zombie film that came before it (or after it, for that matter).

Worst Film: Transcendence (2014)
In the dense, metaphorical library of movies I've watched in my lifetime, Transcendence can be filed under the very rare "How the Hell Did This End Up Sucking"? category. A film that boasted a cool, original concept centered around the horrors that occur when a deceased scientist's brain is combined with artificial intelligence, a stellar ensemble cast (Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Morgan Freeman, Murphy, Kate Mara) and a director in Wally Pfster that came up under the tutelage of powerhouse filmmaker Christopher Nolan really shouldn't have been such a boring, convoluted disaster.     

 Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Emoji Movie" star Patrick Stewart.

10 Best Concert Venues in Massachusetts

In July 2013, I did a piece where I laid out my picks for the 10 best concert venues in New England. I've been to in the four years since I published that list,  so I figured it was time for an update. This time around, I decided to tackle a new angle and narrow the focus to only include venues located in my home state of Massachusetts. Now that the introductory garbage is out of the way, here are my 10 favorite places to see shows in the delightful Bay State.

10.Blue Hills Bank Pavilion (Boston):
While the non-elevated seats make seeing the stage relatively difficult if you're not fortunate enough to be sitting in the front three sections, the beautiful Boston Harbor backdrop and low-key atmosphere gives the Blue Hills Bank Pavilion a level of intimacy that you don't usually find in amphitheaters.
 
9.Middle East Upstairs (Cambridge):
With a capacity of around 175 people, the Middle East Upstairs is the smallest venue I've ever been to in my life. There's some poorly placed furniture in the back that leads to some inevitable moshing/crowd movement issues at metal/hip-hop/punk shows and the sound is decent at best, but it's always a lot of fun to see a show in a tiny-ass room like this.

8.Palladium Downstairs (Worcester):
Despite its spotty sound and having a men's room is eerily reminiscent of the setting of the first Saw movie, the Palladium Downstairs is a charming heavy metal shithole that never fails to bring a smile to my face. 

7.House of Blues (Boston):
The jackass security guards and god awful views from the upper levels have long made the House of Blues my least favorite non-arena venue in Boston. That being said, the consistently excellent sound mix and wide floor that allows you to get very close to the stage without having to deal with the overcrowding issues you run into in a lot of the other smallish clubs in the area makes it a pretty good place to see a show.
.
6.The Sinclair (Cambridge):
I've only been to The Sinclair once since it opened in the fall of 2012, but that lone visit managed to make a pretty strong impression on me. The layout is pretty open for a 600-capcity venue, it has a huge balcony with great sightlines for the people that don't want to get crushed in the front of the room and the atmosphere is hipsterish without being full-on douchey. Hopefully the concert gods will bring me back to this lovely Harvard Square establishment sometime in the near future.

5.Paradise Rock Club (Boston):
If it wasn't for the stupid fucking poles that obstruct the view of the stage and make mass crowd movement at packed shows a major pain in the ass, the Paradise would easily be in the top 3. The wrap-around stage gives it a distinct, super intimate vibe, the sound is terrific and they book the widest variety of quality acts in the area.  

4.Great Scott (Allston):
Great Scott is essentially just an awesome dive bar with a tiny stage in the back. The sound is shockingly good for a DIY venue and the electric energy that's present in that room is a joy to behold.


3.Royale (Boston):
Boston's swankiest nightclub has turned into one of my favorite places to see a show over the past few years. The elevated floor makes it easy to see the stage from every vantage point in the room and the sound is almost always perfect.
 
2.Brighton Music Hall (Allston):
Brighton Music Hall is one of the newer venues in the Boston-area and for my money, it's easily the crown jewel among the city's recently-opened live music hubs. The 500-capacity club that took over the space previously occupied by the iconic Harper's Ferry boasts a killer sound system, dope atmosphere and a perfectly-sized stage that 90% of the crowd is pretty much on top of.
 
1.Middle East Downstairs (Cambridge):
This beautiful, dingy basement is the only venue I've ever been to that I would describe as perfect. It's grimy without being full-blown disgusting, intimate without ever feeling overcrowded and the acoustics are top-notch. I fully intend on going to shows at this slice of heaven on Earth until the day that I die and/or become physically incapacitated.  

The Best and Worst of Andy Serkis

The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I take a look at the filmography of "War for the Planet of the Apes" star Andy Serkis

Films starring Andy Serkis that I've seen:
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
King Kong
Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker
The Prestige 
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Arthur Christmas 
The Adventures of Tintin
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Star Wars: The Force Awakens   

Best Performance: Lord of the Rings Franchise (2001-2003)
I'm not going to front, I think the Lord of the Rings trilogy is pretty overrated. However, Serkis' portrayal of Gollum/Smeagol is nothing short of phenomenal. Serkis' committed performance as the centuries-old Hobbit that was corrupted by the power of the titular ring help make his unstable character the most compelling and intimidating antagonist to appear in the trilogy.

Worst Performance: King Kong (2005)
King Kong marked the first time I saw Serkis appear on screen as an actual human being and within 30 seconds of him appearing on screen, I wished he'd stuck to his motion capture wheelhouse. Serkis' cringeworthy Popeye impression is one of the many reasons that Peter Jackson's King Kong remake turned out to be a catastrophic shitfest. 

Best Film: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Sci-fi director extraordinaire J.J. Abrams pulled off one of his most impressive feats to-date by bringing great characters and the sense of spectacle back to the Star Wars franchise. While the film is more or less a remake of A New Hope, Force Awakens was the first (and to this point, only) "modern" Star Wars film that was able to successfully recreate the vibrant, fun vibe of the original trilogy.   

Worst Film: King Kong (2005) 
And here lies the start of the shocking, often embarrassing career tailspin of Peter Jackson. The former cult horror director/man behind the beloved Lord of the Rings trilogy lost his mind and flare for making films that contain any sort of entertainment value when he decided to reboot King Kong. Jackson's tedious blockbuster is heavy on dull storytelling and horrific acting, and low on anything that involves giant monster combat or keeping the audience from falling into a deep sleep. Even with the healthy amount of shit "event" films that have come out in the nearly 12 years since King Kong was released, I haven't seen another mega-budgeted spectacle fail as spectacularly as this.    
  
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Dunkirk" star Cillian Murphy.

Quick Album Reviews: Vince Staples-Big Fish Theory, 2 Chainz-Pretty Girls Like Trap Music, Calvin Harris-Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1, Young Thug-Beautiful Thugger Girls

Vince Staples-Big Fish Theory: Is it too early to call Vince Staples' second LP Big Fish Theory the best hip-hop album of the year? Probably. Am I going to throw all sensible logic out the window and prematurely bestow this title upon it anyway? You bet your sweet ass I am. Behind production primarily handled by a number of EDM heavyweights including Sophie, Zack Sekoff and Jimmy Edgar, Staples is able to create the most abrasive, distinct and consistent project of his brief but thoroughly impressive career thus far. The marriage between Europe's most aggressive styles of electronic music (house and UK garage) and modern hip-hop's angriest MC is almost too perfect for words. The frantic synths and wall-rattling bass that drive the album's beats essentially act as a PED for the rage, misery and sadness that defines Staples' music. While Staples' previous output has boasted excellent production, this new electronic-driven sound was the extra kick in the teeth his music needed to amplify the potency of his pain-filled storytelling. Staples is exactly the type of gifted, envelope-pushing artist that deserves to be at the forefront of the modern hip-hop scene and I really hope the brilliance of Big Fish Theory will finally earn him the level of respect he's long deserved.   
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Homage 2.Big Fish (feat. Juicy J) 3.Yeah Right (feat. Kendrick Lamar and Kucka)

2 Chainz-Pretty Girls Like Trap Music: Records like Pretty Girls Like Trap Music is why I spend so much time championing the trap genre. The hooks are triumphant, the lyrics are endlessly quotable, the wide variety of killer beats from established vets (Mike Dean, Mike Will Made It, Honorable C.N.O.T.E.) and promising young guns (Murda Beatz, K Swisha, Buddah Bless) is a beautiful showcase of why I believe we're currently living in the golden age of hip-hop production and above all, 2 Chainz finally flexes the level of charisma that has made him the genre's king of show-stealing guest verses over the course of a full-length solo project. I'll be bumping the shit out of this absurdly fun, banger-filled record for the foreseeable future.
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Sleep When U Die 2.OG Kush Diet 3.Rolls Royce Bitch

Calvin Harris-Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1: Most mainstream artists aspire to make a song that goes down as an summer anthem. On Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1, Calvin Harris made an album full of them. Funk Wav Bounces Vol.1's laid-back, funk-and-disco-driven sound is a big departure for the Scottish DJ that rose to worldwide fame producing straightforward electropop tracks, but this pretty major stylistic change results in the best material he's ever crafted. Harris' production has never sounded this confident or groovy and despite working with a revolving door of A-list collaborators including Pharrell, Future and Katy Perry that span multiple genres, this record remains cohesive and catchy as hell throughout its efficient 38-minute runtime. Throw this shit on at a cookout or party on a warm night and prepare to let the good times roll. 
4/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Heatstroke (feat. Young Thug, Pharrell and Ariana Grande) 2.Faking It (feat. Kehlani and Lil Yachty) 3.Cash Out (feat. ScHoolboy Q, PartyNextDoor and D.R.A.M.)

Young Thug-Beautiful Thugger Girls: When I first heard that hip-hop's most endearing oddball Young Thug was going to drop an "all-singing" album, I let out an audible groan. Thugga has sung a little bit with decent enough results in the past, but the prospect of listening to him sing on an album's worth of material was about as appealing as contracting the Bubonic Plague. To my surprise, Beautiful Thugger Girls proved to be a pretty god damn good release. Thug's goofy swagger and gift for writing unpredictable, catchy melodies seamlessly carries over to the world of pop rap/R&B ,and his singing on the majority of the album is pretty impressive (particularly on "She Wanna Party" and "You Said"). It's definitely more inconsistent than his past two releases (Slime Season 3 and Jeffrey) and there are some bizzaro experiments on here that don't work at all (the country-tinged "Family Don't Matter", whatever the hell "Daddy's Birthday" was supposed to be), but Beautiful Thugger Girls is still a very enjoyable release that successfully expands upon Thugga's already impressive versatility as an artist.
3.5/5 Stars
Standout Tracks: 1.Do U Love Me 2.She Wanna Party (feat. Millie Go Lightly) 3.Take Care

Quick Movie Reviews: Baby Driver, The House, Spider-Man: Homecoming

Baby Driver: The latest project from writer/director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) is the slice of pure cinematic electricity that this mostly underwhelming summer movie season desperately needed. With Baby Driver, Wright has essentially made the world's first heist-centered jukebox musical. Everything from the intense,beautifully-choreographed car chases and shootouts to the movie's more tender character moments possesses a distinct rhythm that makes the film feel like an unpredictable epic-length song. While the immense, immersive musical backdrop that drives almost every scene helps give the film a very unique feel, the high-octane symphony that is Baby Driver wouldn't have been nearly as effective without its rich characterization. The Atlanta criminal underworld that Wright concocted is full of colorful personalities that are brought to life with maximum aplomb and charisma by the film's outstanding ensemble cast (led by Ansel Elgort, Kevin Spacey and a scene-stealing Jamie Foxx, giving the most horrifying performance of his career thus far). Memorable characters are an underrated hallmark of great action flicks, so it was great to see Wright craft a film that features numerous protagonists and antagonists that have already permeated their way into the deepest caverns of my brain. Baby Driver is an exhilarating, brilliantly-directed masterpiece that will undoubtedly go down as one of my favorite films of 2017.
4.5/5 Stars    

The House: What a deflating letdown. Despite boasting an excellent premise (a 40-something couple team up with their neighbor to run an illegal casino so they can pay for her daughter's tuition), a cast full of gifted improv comedians (Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, numerous others) and a writer/director team in Andrew J. Cohen and Brendan O'Brien that have been behind some of the funniest movies to be released over the past few years (Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, both Neighbors films),The House somehow manages to be a painfully mediocre comedy. Every single laugh-out-loud moment of the film was spoiled by the trailers, the rapport between the cast wasn't very strong and it sorely lacked the goofy, spastic energy that usually drives Cohen and O'Brien's work. This is a huge, head-scratching misfire that is well below the quality of the output usually produced by the film's key players.
2.5/5 Stars

Spider-Man: Homecoming: It may haven taken 13 years, but the Spider-Man franchise is back on track baby! Spider-Man: Homecoming thrives by failing to repeat the sins of Spidey's past three big-screen adventures. Homecoming (wisely) ditches the forced gritty tone of both Amazing Spider-Man films by portraying Peter Parker as the bumbling teenager he was in the comic books, which goes a long way in helping inject the long-absent sense of fun back into this franchise. Tom Holland proves his turn in Captain America: Civil War wasn't a fluke by flawlessly portraying Spider-Man as an eager yet often overmatched hero that is still learning to live with his extraordinary powers and the coming-of-age awkwardness that drives the story leads to some of the sharpest comedic material to ever appear in a Marvel movie. As refreshingly fun and goofy as Spider-Man: Homecoming is, it still manages to get bogged down by the typical Achilles heels of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Michael Keaton's Vulture is yet another underutilized, mediocre villain and with his love of disorienting quick cuts and wide shots, director Jon Watts repeatedly proves that he has absolutely no fucking clue how to stage a coherent action sequence. While it's not a classic by any stretch of the imagination, Spider-Man: Homecoming sets up a very solid foundation for this revamped franchise.
4/5 Stars

2017 NFL Position Rankings: Recap

For those who haven't read this series before or missed the beginning of this year's installment, here's the criteria for these lists:

1.Rookies are excluded from these rankings

2.Each player is judged on where they currently stand in my opinion, not the player they once were, are going to be, etc.

3.Each player is listed as member of the team they will play for in 2017, not who they played for in 2016.

Enjoy!

Quarterback:

25.Carson Wentz (Eagles)
24.Blake Bortles (Jaguars)
23.Sam Bradford (Vikings)
22.Carson Palmer (Cardinals)
21.Tyrod Taylor (Bills)
20.Dak Prescott (Cowboys)
19.Marcus Mariota (Titans)
18.Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins)
17.Alex Smith (Chiefs) 
16.Joe Flacco (Ravens)
15.Andy Dalton (Bengals)
14.Jameis Winston (Buccaneers)
13.Philip Rivers (Chargers)
12.Kirk Cousins (Redskins)
11.Eli Manning (Giants)
10.Derek Carr (Raiders)
9.Matthew Stafford (Lions)
8.Cam Newton (Panthers)
7.Matt Ryan (Falcons) 
6.Andrew Luck (Colts)
5.Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)
4.Russell Wilson (Seahawks)
3.Drew Brees (Saints)
2.Aaron Rodgers (Packers)
1.Tom Brady (Patriots)

Running Back:

50.C.J Prosise (Seahawks)

49.Shane Vereen (Giants)

48.Duke Johnson Jr. (Browns)
47.Jacquizz Rodgers (Buccaneers)

46.Terrance West (Ravens)
45.Alfred Morris (Cowboys)
44.Chris Ivory (Jaguars)
43.Thomas Rawls (Seahawks)
42.Derrick Henry (Titans)
41.DeAngelo Williams (Free Agent)
40.Mike Gillislee (Patriots)
39.Rob Kelley (Redskins)

38.Eddie Lacy (Seahawks)
37.Danny Woodhead (Ravens)
36.Darren Sproles (Eagles)
35.Ty Montgomery (Packers)
34.Dion Lewis (Patriots)
33.Carlos Hyde (49ers)
32.Charles Sims (Buccaneers)
31.James White (Patriots)
30.Theo Riddick (Lions)
29.Giovani Bernard (Bengals)
28.Bilal Powell (Jets)
27.Ryan Matthews (Eagles)

26.Doug Martin (Buccaneers)
25.Matt Forte (Jets)
24,Jonathan Stewart (Panthers)
23.Marshawn Lynch (Raiders)
22.Jammal Charles (Broncos)
21.Tevin Coleman (Falcons)
20.Jeremy Hill (Bengals)
19.Isaiah Crowell (Browns)
18.LeGarrette Blount (Eagles)
17.Spencer Ware (Chiefs)
16.C.J. Anderson (Broncos)
15.Latavius Murray (Vikings)

14.Melvin Gordon (Chargers)

13.Adrian Peterson (Saints)
12.Lamar Miller (Texans)
11.Mark Ingram (Saints) 
10.Frank Gore (Colts)
9.Jordan Howard (Bears) 

8.Todd Gurley (Rams)

7.Jay Ajayi (Dolphins)
6.DeMarco Murray (Titans)
5.Devonta Freeman (Falcons)
4.Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)
3.LeSean McCoy (Bills)
2.David Johnson (Cardinals)
1.Le'Veon Bell (Steelers)

Wide Receiver:

50.Mohamed Sanu (Falcons)
49.Cameron Meredith (Bears)
48.Adam Thielen (Vikings) 
47.Kenny Britt (Browns)
46.Randall Cobb (Packers)
45.Cole Beasley (Cowboys) 
44.Tyreek Hill (Chiefs)
43.Terrelle Pryor (Redskins) 
42.Jamison Crowder (Redskins)

41.Tyrell Williams (Chargers)

40.Kenny Stills (Dolphins)
39.Willie Snead (Saints)

38.Stefon Diggs (Vikings)
37.Jordan Matthews (Eagles)

36.John Brown (Cardinals)

35.Allen Hurns (Jaguars)

34.Davante Adams (Packers)

33.Mike Wallace (Ravens)

32.Rishard Matthews (Titans)

31.Michael Thomas (Saints)
30.Pierre Garcon (49ers)
29.Kelvin Benjamin (Panthers)
28.Eric Decker (Titans) 
27.Jeremy Maclin (Ravens)
26.Marvin Jones (Lions)
25.DeSean Jackson (Buccaneers)
24.Keenan Allen (Chargers)

23.Sammy Watkins (Bills)

22.Golden Tate (Lions)

21.Michael Crabtree (Raiders)

20.Julian Edelman (Patriots)

19.Brandin Cooks (Patriots)

18.Allen Robinson (Jaguars)
17.Emmanuel Sanders (Broncos)

16.Alshon Jeffrey (Eagles)

15.Brandon Marshall (Giants)

14.Jarvis Landry (Dolphins)

13.Doug Baldwin (Seahawks)

12.Amari Cooper (Raiders)

11.Demaryius Thomas (Broncos)

10.Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)

9.Jordy Nelson (Packers)

8.DeAndre Hopkins (Texans)

7.T.Y. Hilton (Colts)

6.Mike Evans (Buccaneers)
5.Dez Bryant (Cowboys)
4.A.J. Green (Bengals)
3.Odell Beckham Jr. (Giants)
2.Julio Jones (Falcons)
1.Antonio Brown (Steelers) 

Tight End:
20.Jared Cook (Raiders)

19.Zach Miller (Bears)
18.Charles Clay (Bills)
17.Eric Ebron (Lions)
16.Hunter Henry (Chargers)

15.Jack Doyle (Colts)

14.Cameron Brate (Buccaneers)  

13.Jason Witten (Cowboys)

12.Antonio Gates (Chargers)

11.Coby Fleener (Saints)

10.Kyle Rudolph (Vikings)

9.Zach Ertz (Eagles)

8.Tyler Eifert (Bengals)

7.Martellus Bennett (Packers)

6.Delanie Walker (Titans)

5.Jimmy Graham (Seahawks)

4.Jordan Reed (Redskins)

3.Greg Olsen (Panthers)

2.Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

1.Rob Gronkowski (Patriots) 

Tackle:

30.Eric Fisher (Chiefs)

29.Demar Dotson (Buccaneers)

28.Ryan Schrader (Falcons)

27.Branden Albert (Jaguars) 

26.Alejandro Villanueva (Steelers)

25.Taylor Decker (Lions)

24.Ronnie Stanley (Ravens) 

23.Jake Matthews (Falcons)

22.Marcus Cannon (Patriots) 

21.Ricky Wagner (Lions)

20.Morgan Moses (Redskins)

19.Nate Solder (Patriots)

18.Lane Johnson (Eagles)

17.Jack Conklin (Titans)

16.Zach Strief (Saints)

15.Duane Brown (Texans)

14.Taylor Lewan (Titans)

13.Bryan Bulaga (Packers)

12.Marcus Gilbert (Steelers)

11.Anthony Castonzo (Colts)

10.Joe Staley (49ers)

9.Terron Armstead (Saints)

8.Cordy Glenn (Bills)

7.David Bakhtiari (Packers)

6.Jason Peters (Eagles) 

5.Donald Penn (Raiders)

4.Andrew Whitworth (Rams) 

3.Tyron Smith (Cowboys)
2.Trent Williams (Redskins)
1.Joe Thomas (Browns) 

Guard:

30.Laurent Duvernay-Tardif (Chiefs)
29.Alex Boone (Vikings)
28.Shaq Mason (Patriots)
27.Roger Saffold (Rams)
26.Josh Kline (Titans)

25.Larry Warford (Saints)
24.Jack Mewhort (Colts)
23.Quinton Spain (Titans) 
22.Ronald Leary (Broncos)
21.Ali Marpet (Buccaneers)
20.Andy Levitre (Falcons)
19.Clint Boling (Bengals)

18.Trai Turner (Panthers)
17.James Carpenter (Jets)
16.Gabe Jackson (Raiders)
15.Joel Bitonio (Browns)
14.Mike Iupati (Cardinals)

13.T.J. Lang (Lions)
12.Justin Pugh (Giants)
11.Andrew Norwell (Panthers)

10.Kyle Long (Bears)
9.Ramon Foster (Steelers)

8.Richie Incognito (Bills)

7.Kevin Zeitler (Browns)

6.Brandon Brooks (Eagles)

5.David DeCastro (Steelers)

4.Josh Sitton (Bears)
3.Zack Martin (Cowboys)
2.Kelechi Osemele (Raiders)

1.Marshal Yanda (Ravens)

Center:

20.Greg Mancz (Texans)
19.Justin Britt (Seahawks)
18.A.Q. Shipley (Cardinals)

17.Mitch Morse (Chiefs)

16.Mike Pouncey (Dolphins)
15.Weston Richburg (Giants) 

14.JC Tretter (Browns)

13.Cody Whitehair (Bears)

12.Matt Slauson (Chargers)

11.Joe Berger (Vikings)
10.Eric Wood (Bills)

9.Ben Jones (Titans)
8.Ryan Kalil (Panthers)

7.Matt Paradis (Broncos)

6.Brandon Linder (Jaguars)

5.Max Unger (Saints)
4.Maurkice Pouncey (Steelers)
3.Rodney Hudson (Raiders)
2.Alex Mack (Falcons)

1.Travis Fredrick (Cowboys)

Defensive Tackle:

30.Letroy Guion (Packers)

29.Corey Peters (Cardinals) 

28.Timmy Jernigan (Eagles)

27.Dan Williams (Free Agent)
26.Grady Jarrett (Falcons)

25.Michael Pierce (Ravens) 

24.Lawrence Guy (Patriots)

23.Dontari Poe (Falcons)

22.Kyle Williams (Bills)

21.Ahtyba Rubin (Seahawks) 

20.Sharrif Floyd (Vikings)

19.Alan Branch (Patriots)

18.Brandon Mebane (Chargers)
17.Chris Baker (Buccaneers)
16.Bennie Logan (Chiefs)
15.Danny Shelton (Browns)
14.Michael Brockers (Rams)

13.Jonathan Hankins (Colts)

12.Malik Jackson (Jaguars)

11.Marcell Dareus (Bills)

10.Brandon Williams (Ravens)

9.Linval Joseph (Vikings)

8.Geno Atkins (Bengals)

7.Calias Campbell (Jaguars)

6.Kawann Short (Panthers)

5.Gerald McCoy (Buccaneers)

4.Damon Harrison (Giants)

3.Fletcher Cox (Eagles)

2.Ndamukong Suh (Dolphins)

1.Aaron Donald (Rams)

Defensive End:

30.Sheldon Richardson (Jets)
29.Trey Flowers (Patriots)
28.Mario Addison (Panthers)
27.Robert Ayers (Buccaneers)
26.William Hayes (Dolphins)
25.Frank Clark (Seahawks)
24.Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
23.Cliff Avril (Seahawks)
22.Jerry Hughes (Bills)
21.Akiem Hicks (Bears) 
20.Melvin Ingram (Chargers)
19.Everson Griffen (Vikings)
18.Cameron Heyward (Steelers)
17.Derek Wolfe (Broncos)
16.Muhammad Wilkerson (Jets)
15.Jadeveon Clowney (Texans)
14.Ezekiel Ansah (Lions) 
13.Joey Bosa (Chargers) 
12.Leonard Williams (Jets)
11.Carlos Dunlap (Bengals)
10.Cameron Wake (Dolphins)
9.Olivier Vernon (Giants)
8.Brandon Graham (Eagles)
7.Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants)
6.Jurrell Casey (Titans)
5.Mike Daniels (Packers) 
4.Michael Bennett (Seahawks)
3.Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2.Khalil Mack (Raiders)
1.J.J. Watt (Texans)

Inside Linebacker:

25.Denzel Perryman (Chargers)
24.Avery Williamson (Titans)
23.Kwon Alexander (Buccaneers)
22.Karlos Dansby (Cardinals)
21.Deion Jones (Falcons)
20.Alec Ogletree (Rams)
19.Brian Cushing (Texans)
18,Todd Davis (Broncos)
17.Eric Kendricks (Vikings)
16.Derrick Johnson (Chiefs)
15.Kiko Alonso (Dolphins)
14.Mason Foster (Redskins)
13.Christian Kirksey (Browns)
12.Jordan Hicks (Eagles)
11.Paul Posluszny(Jaguars) 
10.Zach Brown (Redskins)
9.Danny Trevathan (Bears)
8.NaVorro Bowman (49ers)
7.Brandon Marshall (Broncos)
6.C.J. Mosley (Ravens) 
5.Don'ta Hightower (Patriots)
4.Sean Lee (Cowboys)
3.Jerrell Freeman (Bears)
2.Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)
1.Luke Kuechly (Panthers)   

Outside Linebacker:

35.Lawrence Timmons (Dolphins)
34.Preston Smith (Redskins)
33.Leonard Floyd (Bears)
32.Robert Quinn (Rams)
31.John Simon (Colts)
30.Jabaal Sheard (Colts)
29.Clay Matthews (Packers)
28.Tamba Hali (Chiefs) 
27.Willie Young (Bears)
26.Vincent Rey (Bengals)
25.Terrell Suggs (Ravens)
24.Nigel Bradham (Eagles)
23.Dee Ford (Chiefs)
22.Gerald Hodges (Bills)
21.Trent Murphy (Redskins)
20.Markus Golden (Cardinals)
19.Lorenzo Alexander (Bills)
18.Anthony Barr (Vikings)
17.Bruce Irvin (Raiders) 
16.Derrick Morgan (Titans) 
15.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)
14.Pernell McPhee (Bears)
13.Thomas Davis (Panthers)
12.Telvin Smith (Jaguars)
11.James Harrison (Steelers)
10.Jamie Collins (Browns)
9.Vic Beasley Jr. (Falcons)
8.Ryan Kerrigan (Redskins)
7.Brian Orakpo (Titans)
6.Vontaze Burfict (Bengals)
5.Whitney Mercilus (Texans)
4.K.J. Wright (Seahawks) 
3.Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2.Justin Houston (Chiefs)
1.Von Miller (Broncos)

Cornerback:

50.LaDarius Gunter (Packers)
49.Joe Haden (Browns)
48.Jamar Taylor (Browns)
47.Jeremy Lane (Seahawks)

46.Robert Alford (Falcons)
45.Anthony Brown (Cowboys)
44.Jimmy Smith (Ravens) 
43.Trumaine Johnson (Rams)

42.Bashaud Breeland (Redskins)
41.Kareem Jackson (Texans)
40.Marcus Williams (Jets)

39.Bradley Roby (Broncos)
38.Kevin Johnson (Texans)
37.James Bradberry (Panthers)
36.Russ Cockrell (Steelers)
35.Delvin Breaux (Saints)
34.Ronald Darby (Bills)
33.DeShawn Shead (Seahawks)
32.Prince Amukamara (Bears) 
31.Logan Ryan (Titans)
30.Byron Maxwell (Dolphins)
29.Brandon Carr (Ravens)
28.Morris Claiborne (Jets)

27.Orlando Scandrick (Cowboys)
26.William Gay (Steelers)
25.Jalen Ramsey (Jaguars) 

24.Captain Munnerlyn (Panthers)

23.David Amerson (Raiders)

22.Adam Jones (Bengals)

21.Jason Verrett (Chargers)

20.Jonathan Joseph (Texans)
19.A.J. Bouye (Jaguars) 

18.Vontae Davis (Colts)

17.Brent Grimes (Buccaneers)
16.Terrence Newman (Vikings)
15.Stephon Gilmore (Patriots)
14.Desmond Trufant (Falcons)
13.Xavier Rhodes (Vikings)
12.Casey Hayward (Chargers)

11.Janoris Jenkins (Giants)

10.Marcus Peters (Chiefs)
9.Sean Smith (Raiders)
8.Darius Slay (Lions)
7.Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (Giants)
6.Malcolm Butler (Patriots)
5.Josh Norman (Redskins)
4.Aqib Talib (Broncos) 

3.Richard Sherman (Seahawks)

2.Patrick Peterson (Cardinals)

1.Chris Harris Jr. (Broncos)

Safety:

30.Keanu Neal (Falcons)

29.Mike Mitchell (Steelers)

28.D.J. Swearinger (Cardinals) 

27.J.J. Wilcox (Buccaneers)
26.Quentin Demps (Bears)
25.Maurice Alexander (Rams)
24.Jonathan Cyprien (Titans)

23.Adrian Amos (Bears)
22.Darian Stewart (Broncos)
21.Mike Adams (Panthers)
20.George Iloka (Bengals) 

19.Byron Jones (Cowboys)
18.Rodney McLeod (Eagles)
17.Glover Quin (Lions)
16.HaHa Clinton-Dix (Packers)

15.Reggie Nelson (Raiders) 

14.Barry Church (Jaguars)
13.T.J. Ward (Broncos)

12.Malcolm Jenkins (Eagles)

11.Tyrann Mathieu (Cardinals)

10.Tony Jefferson (Ravens)

9.Morgan Burnett (Packers)

8.Landon Collins (Giants) 

7.Devin McCourty (Patriots)

6.Harrison Smith (Vikings)

5.Reshad Jones (Dolphins)

4.Kam Chancellor (Seahawks)
3.Eric Berry (Chiefs)

2.Eric Weddle (Ravens)

1.Earl Thomas (Seahawks)

Kicker:

20.Nick Novak (Texans)
19.Will Lutz (Saints)
18.Robbie Gould (49ers)
17.Caleb Sturgis (Eagles)
16.Kai Forbath (Vikings)
15.Graham Gano (Panthers)
14.Phil Dawson (Cardinals)
13.Greg Zuerlein (Rams)
12.Matt Prater (Lions)
11.Brandon McManus (Broncos)
10.Nick Folk (Buccaneers)
9.Cairo Santos (Chiefs)
8.Chris Boswell (Steelers)
7.Steven Hauschka (Bills) 
6.Mason Crosby (Packers)
5.Stephen Gostkowski (Patriots)
4.Adam Vinatieri (Colts)
3.Matt Bryant (Falcons)
2.Dan Bailey (Cowboys)
1.Justin Tucker (Ravens) 

Punter:

20.Tress Way (Redskins)
19.Riley Dixon (Broncos)
18.Brett Kern (Titans)
17.Drew Kaser (Chargers)
16.Ryan Allen (Patriots)
15.Dustin Colquitt (Chiefs)
14.Donnie Jones (Eagles)
13.Chris Jones (Cowboys)
12.Sam Koch (Ravens) 
11.Kevin Huber (Bengals)
10.Brad Wing (Giants)
9.Brad Nortman (Jaguars)
8.Bryan Anger (Buccaneers)
7.Andy Lee (Panthers)
6.Matt Bosher (Falcons)
5.Marquette King (Raiders)
4.Shane Lechler (Texans)
3.Sam Martin (Lions)
2.Thomas Morstead (Saints)
1.Johnny Hekker (Rams)


Top 10 Individual Position Appearances by Team (most to least):
Seattle Seahawks-8 (Michael Bennett, Kam Chancellor, Jimmy Graham, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas, Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, Russell Wilson)

Atlanta Falcons-7 (Vic Beasley Jr., Matt Bryant, Matt Bosher, Devonta Freeman, Julio Jones, Alex Mack, Matt Ryan)

Dallas Cowboys-7 (Dan Bailey, Dez Bryant, Ezekiel Elliott, Travis Fredrick, Sean Lee, Zach Martin, Tyron Smith)  
Green Bay Packers-7 (David Bakhtiari, Martellus Bennett, Morgan Burnett, Mason Crosby, Mike Daniels, Jordy Nelson, Aaron Rodgers)
New York Giants-7 (Odell Beckham Jr., Landon Collins, Damon Harrison, Jason Pierre-Paul, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Brad Wing, Olivier Vernon) 
Oakland Raiders-7 (Derek Carr, Rodney Hudson, Marquette King, Khalil Mack, Kelechi Osemele, Donald Penn, Sean Smith)
Pittsburgh Steelers-7 (Le'Veon Bell, Chris Boswell, Antonio Brown, David DeCastro, Ramon Foster, Maurkice Pouncey, Ben Roethlisberger)

Baltimore Ravens-6 (Tony Jefferson, C.J. Mosley, Justin Tucker, Eric Weddle, Brandon Williams, Marshal Yanda)

Carolina Panthers-6 (Ryan Kalil, Luke Kuechly, Andy Lee, Cam Newton, Greg Olsen, Kawann Short)
New England Patriots-6 (Tom Brady, Malcolm Butler, Stephen Gostkowski, Rob Gronkowski, Dont'a Hightower, Devin McCourty)

Buffalo Bills-5 (Cordy Glenn, Steven Hauschka, Richie Incognito, LeSean McCoy, Eric Wood)

Chicago Bears-5 (Jordan Howard, Jerrell Freeman, Kyle Long, Josh Sitton, Danny Trevathan)
Denver Broncos-5 (Chris Harris Jr., Brandon Marshall, Von Miller, Matt Paradis, Aqib Talib)
Kansas City Chiefs-5 (Eric Berry, Justin Houston, Travis Kelce, Marcus Peters, Cairo Santos)

New Orleans Saints-5 (Terron Armstead, Drew Brees, Cameron Jordan, Thomas Morstead, Max Unger)  

Philadelphia Eagles-5 (Brandon Brooks, Fletcher Cox, Zach Ertz, Brandon Graham, Jason Peters)

Tennessee Titans-5 (Jurell Casey, Ben Jones, DeMarco Murray, Brian Orakpo, Delanie Walker) 

Washington Redskins-5 (Zach Brown, Ryan Kerrigan, Josh Norman, Jordan Reed, Trent Williams)

Arizona Cardinals-4 (Larry Fitzgerald, David Johnson, Chandler Jones, Patrick Peterson)

Cincinnati Bengals-4 (Geno Atkins, Vontaze Burfict, Tyler Eifert, A.J. Green)
Houston Texans-4 (DeAndre Hopkins, Shane Lechler, Whitney Mercilus, J.J. Watt)

Indianapolis Colts-4 (Frank Gore, T.Y. Hilton, Andrew Luck, Adam Vinatieri)

Los Angeles Rams-4 (Aaron Donald, Todd Gurley, Johnny Hekker, Andrew Whitworth)

Miami Dolphins-4 (Jay Ajayi, Reshad Jones, Ndmuakong Suh, Cameron Wake) 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers-4 (Bryan Anger, Mike Evans, Nick Folk, Gerald McCoy)

Cleveland Browns-3 (Jamie Collins, Joe Thomas, Kevin Zeitler)

Detroit Lions-3 (Sam Martin, Darius Slay, Matthew Stafford)

Jacksonville Jaguars-3 (Calias Campbell, Brandon Linder, Brad Nortman)

Minnesota Vikings-3 (Linval Joseph, Kyle Rudolph, Harrison Smith)

San Francisco 49ers-2 (NaVorro Bowman, Joe Staley)

Los Angeles Chargers-0

New York Jets-0