As We Proceed Episode #38 (Part 1)

Surprise! Feliciano and I took advantage of the added spare time the 'Rona has brought us to get the band back together for a reunion tour after a whopping 12 month hiatus. Even though we recorded outside of the same room for the first time in our history, being separated by a screen and nearly the entirety of the Eastern Seaboard of the United States is no match for the sheer kinetic force that loud, pointed hip-hop discussion generates. The first two segments from our comeback show focusing on 6ix9ine's post-prison return and how the latest controversy surrounding Doja Cat overshadowed "Say So" hitting #1 on the Billboard charts. We're thrilled to be back and we hope our typical audience of 5-12 people is too.

6ix9ine:

Doja Cat:

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Guards

30.Joe Dahl (Lions)
29.Dalton Risner (Broncos)
28.Austin Blythe (Rams)
27.Greg Van Roten (Jets)
26.Laurent DuVernay-Tardif (Chiefs)
25.Justin Pugh (Cardinals)
24.Will Hernandez (Giants)
23.Billy Turner (Packers)
22.Andrew Wylie (Chiefs)
21.Mark Glowinski (Colts)
20.James Daniels (Bears)
19.Elgton Jenkins (Packers)
18.Trai Turner (Chargers)
17.Graham Glasgow (Broncos)
16.Gabe Jackson (Raiders)
15.Andrew Norwell (Jaguars)
14.Larry Warford (Free Agent)
13.Isaac Seumalo (Eagles)
12.Rodger Saffold (Titans)
11.Richie Incognito (Raiders)
10.Ali Marpet (Buccaneers)
9.Brandon Scherff (Redskins)
8.Joel Bitonio (Browns)
7.Shaq Mason (Patriots)
6.Kevin Zeitler (Giants)
5.David DeCastro (Steelers)
4.Joe Thuney (Patriots)
3.Brandon Brooks (Eagles)
2.Quenton Nelson (Colts)
1.Zach Martin (Cowboys)

Ice Cube Ranked

Welcome to the latest editon of my Ranked series, where I rank a franchise or filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out various related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Ice Cube.

Ice Cube's Filmography Rankings:
18.First Sunday (D+)
17.Friday After Next (D+)
16.Anaconda (C-)
15.Ride Along 2 (C)
14.xXx: State of the Union (B-)
13.Ride Along (B-)
12.All About the Benjamins (B-)
11.Fist Fight (B-)
10.Barbershop 2: Back in Business (B-)
9.Barbershop (B-) 
8.Next Friday (B)
7.Barbershop: The Next Cut (B)
6.Three Kings (B+)
5.xXx: Return of Xander Cage (B+)
4.21 Jump Street (A)
3.22 Jump Street (A)
2.Boyz n the Hood (A)
1.Friday (A+)

Top Dog: Friday (1995)
Friday may be the Citizen Kane of stoner hangout movies. The vibe is appropriately relaxed, the characters are vibrant and the situations the main characters (Cube, Chris Tucker-both perfect for their roles) get into over the course of the day are consistently hilarious.  

Lowlight: First Sunday (2008)
The monumental waste of talent otherwise known as First Sunday is one of the most inexplicable comedic misfires I've ever come across in the world of movies. Even before it turns into a tacky preachfest in the final act, funny people like Cube, Tracy Morgan and Katt Williams embarrass themselves by delivering weak jokes with the enthusiasm one would apply to giving directions to some random passerby.

Most Underrated: xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)
Vin Diesel's revival of the xXx series was one of the more pleasant surprises of the few years. By applying the self-aware tone, huge ensemble cast dynamic and commitment to staging the most absurd action sequences that can possibly be conceived by man that has fueled the recent entries of Fast and Furious to the globetrotting adventures of Xander Cage, this previously bland franchise evolves into a ridiculously entertaining, adrenaline-fueled blockbuster spectacle.  

Most Overrated: Ride Along (2014)
For the sake of clarity, I'm deeming Ride Along overrated because of its enthusiastic audience response, not its reviews-which were mostly negative. Consistently mediocre material and several massive tonal swings overshadow a lot of the enjoyment that comes from seeing an effortlessly funny duo in Kevin Hart and Cube perform alongside each other for the first time. 

Best Character: Captain Dickson, 21/22 Jump Street (2012/2014)
Casting Ice Cube as a vulgar, short-tempered police captain was nothing of a masterstroke. By pairing the intensity he brought to his music with the sharp comedic timing that has allowed him to transition so smoothly into acting, he turns into a god damn tornado of rage-fueled hilarity that steals every single scene he appears in over the course of both films.

Most Depressing Sequel: Friday After Next (2002)
If Last Friday does ever get made, they won't have to try hard to top this pile of garbage. Friday After Next isn't just a bad movie, it's a complete betrayal of the spirit of the franchise. The signature laid-back atmosphere feels forced, the jokes have a real nastiness to them and cast members both new and old ,with the exception of the late John Witherspoon, operate on autopilot.  

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2013

Honorable Mentions: Inside Llewyn Davis, The Last Stand, Pain & Gain

Fruitvale Station: As the video of George Floyd's senseless murder caused by use of excessive force from the police circulates around the globe, the largely ignorant United States society was again forced to grapple with the fact that the people that are supposed to protect the communities they serve just took the life of yet another unarmed black man. What Fruitvale Station did was provide the story of a man behind another one of these tragic headlines and pieces of video. In just 85 minutes, the audience gets to experience a day in the life of Oscar Grant (Michael B. Jordan in what proved to be his breakout performance), a normal, flawed 22-year old man from Hayward, California trying to find his way in the world and how the "shoot first, ask questions" later mentality of prejudiced law enforcement officers deprived him of the opportunity to find himself, raise his daughter and just generally live his life. It's a remarkably potent and heartbreaking film that should've served as a wakeup call to the world on this massive issue, but here we are 7 years later still talking about the same stuff. The time for sweeping changes to our justice system from policing down to government funding for schools is long overdue, but as long as there are a sizable amount of bigots manning our police forces and political offices, it's sadly not going to occur.        

Short Term 12: Let's follow up a somber real life movie about the devastation caused by police brutality with a somber real life movie about the devastation of growing up in a short term foster home for "troubled" teenagers. What makes Short Term 12 special is that it takes a premise that is rife with melodramatic potential and turns into something raw and remarkably powerful. Both the kids in and running the home have been through the ringer (being abandoned, physically/sexually abused) and the script/actors handle their traumas, fears, etc. in a delicate, sensitive manner. It also served as a launching pad for a number of acting powerhouses (Brie Larson, Rami Malek, Lakeith Stanfield, Kaitlyn Dever, John Gallagher Jr.) and writer/director Destin Daniel Cretton-who went onto make Just Mercy and is about to enter the MCU with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.  

The Spectacular Now: Coming-of-age tales are a staple of independent filmmaking. You could look at just about every edition of Sundance and find at least one title from the lineup about the hardships of growing up that went onto resonate with people. James Ponsoldt's The Spectacular Now is the most overlooked title that I can recall that falls into that camp. To be fair, I completely understand why it's received a pretty polarizing reaction. The protagonist (Miles Teller) isn't particularly redeemable, there's a fairly notable aspect of its portrayal of teenage alcoholism that's a little bit hard to believe and it ends on an open note that will definitely piss some people off. However, those imperfections and ambiguities are a big part of why I loved it so much. It's a beautifully-acted, refreshingly bittersweet tale where the central romance (Teller, Shailene Woodley) feels like the type of passionate yet recklessly naïve relationship high schoolers would have, the decisionmaking of the characters makes complete sense from start to finish and the expected life lessons come with real consequences. Occasionally Hollywood needs to remind the world that being a young adult isn't as glamorous or as whimsical as The Breakfast Club or Juno make it seem and for that, The Spectacular Now will always have my admiration.

Movie Review: The Lovebirds

Netflix's deep pockets and desire to put out as much content as possible has made them an ideal life raft for projects that had their theatrical release plans altered by the pandemic. The first of these acquisitions, the Issa Rae/Kumail Nanjiani-led comedy The Lovebirds that was previously set to be distributed by Paramount, hit the service last Friday and proved to be another quality addition to their increasingly impressive original film library.

Rae and Nanjiani play a New Orleans couple that's dangerously close to breaking up after 4 years together that suddenly become on-the-run fugitives after a man claiming to be a cop (Paul Sparks) commanders their vehicle and uses it to kill a man (Nicolas X. Parsons) that they coincidentally already hit with their car earlier in the evening. In an attempt to clear their names after fleeing the scene in a panic following a misunderstanding with another couple (Catherine Cohen, Barry Rothbart) that finds the body, they have to play amateur detectives and end up stumbling upon a seedy underworld in their city that they never knew existed.

As much as it could've benefited from further embracing the zaniness of its premise, Rae and Nanjiani do more than enough to make The Lovebirds work. At just 87 minutes (with credits) and no significant supporting characters to aid them, these two are tasked with handling the brunt of the comedic load and they pull it off with confident ease. Whether its arguing about restaurants, trying to talk their way out of being tortured or intimidating fratboys for information, each of their quick-witted exchanges has a natural rhythm that makes their banter (and partnership) feel completely believable. Setting up two talented, well-matched comedians with a string of situations where the improv opportunities are abundant is a pretty foolproof plan to make a comedy that hits the right notes.

There's definitely nitpicks to be had (the romantic aspect of Rae and Nanjiani's dynamic isn't as convincing as the comedic one, some lulls in the laughs department around the halfway point, the aforementioned restraint when it comes to digging into the crazier developments in its plot) that prevent it from reaching its full potential, but none of them are enough to stop The Lovebirds from being a breezy watch with some soaring comedic peaks and a proper showcase for two of the industry's most justifiably buzzed-about rising stars. It was honestly just nice to be able to watch a project that was set to be released earlier in the year actually set the light of the day amidst all of the disheartening craziness that the world is currently going through. Lord knows we need some laughs in 2020 and The Lovebirds certainly does it part in delivering them.    
 
Grade: B

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Tackles

30.Russell Okung (Panthers)
29.Marcus Cannon (Patriots)
28.Trent Brown (Raiders)
27.Riley Reiff (Vikings)
26.Charles Jeno Jr. (Bears)
25.Dion Dawkins (Bills)
24.Matt Feiler (Steelers)
23.Garrett Bolles (Broncos)
22.Taylor Decker (Lions)
21.Taylor Moton (Panthers)
20.Braden Smith (Colts)
19.Laremy Tunsil (Texans)
18.La'el Collins (Cowboys)
17.Trent Williams (49ers)
16.Taylor Lewan (Titans)
15.Bryan Bulaga (Chargers)
14.Duane Brown (Seahawks)
13.Alejandro Villanueva (Steelers)
12.Jack Conklin (Browns)
11.Andrew Whitworth (Rams)
10.Jason Peters (Free Agent)
9.Jake Matthews (Falcons)
8.Anthony Castonzo (Colts)
7.Tyron Smith (Cowboys)
6.Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)
5.Terron Armstead (Saints)
4.Mitchell Schwartz (Chiefs)
3.Ryan Ramcyzk (Saints)
2.Lane Johnson (Eagles)
1.David Bakhtiari (Packers)

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Tight Ends

20.Jacob Hollister (Seahawks)
19.Hayden Hurst (Falcons)
18.Jonnu Smith (Titans)
17.Jack Doyle (Colts)
16.O.J. Howard (Buccaneers)
15.Greg Olsen (Seahawks)
14.Gerald Everett (Rams)
13.Eric Ebron (Steelers)
12.Kyle Rudolph (Vikings)
11.Evan Engram (Giants)
10.Dallas Goedert (Eagles)
9.Tyler Higbee (Rams)
8.Hunter Henry (Chargers)
7.Jared Cook (Saints)
6.Darren Waller (Raiders)
5.Austin Hooper (Browns)
4.Mark Andrews (Ravens)
3.Zach Ertz (Eagles)
2.Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
1.George Kittle (49ers)

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2012

Honorable Mentions: American Reunion, Dredd, Looper

End of Watch: Subversion is essentially a foreign concept in the world of police procedurals. Traditionally, thee stories tend to follow a group of cops investigating who is behind a series of criminal acts (typically murders) without really divulging who these characters are outside of their professional lives. End of Watch approaches the genre differently. Writer/director David Ayer spends just as much time developing the men (Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Pena-both outstanding) behind the badge as it does following them around as they try to survive after getting marked by a cartel following their discovery of a human trafficking operation during a routine call. Taking the time to develop these characters' lives as well as their relationship with each other gives End of Watch a rawer, more human feel and elevates the emotional impact of the unexpected ending.        

The Expendables 2: Sylvester Stallone had a very simple goal with The Expendables: assemble an all- star team of action stars from past and present to make a vintage, over-the-top blockbuster. Considering that the film featured a murder's row of genre legends and an abundance of electrifying action sequences filled with applause-worthy moments (Terry Crews mowing people down in a narrow hallway with an AA-12 shotgun, Dolph Lundgren harpooning a pirate torso's to the wall, Randy Couture spearing Stone Cold Steve Austin into a ring of fire), it's safe to say that he achieved that goal with ease. The Expendables 2 managed to do an even better job of bringing Stallone's maximalist vision to life. Embracing a lighter, more self-aware tone, bringing on the slyly charismatic Jean-Claude Van Damme as the villain and of course, continuing to deliver tremendous bursts of massive, gory action made this a note perfect recreation of the late 80's/early 90's action movie aesthetic.

Smashed: This way under-the-radar indie triumph may contain the single most realistic portrayal of alcoholism I've ever seen on screen. Through its grounded script that never even comes close to fetishizing this delicate subject matter and a completely fearless performance from Mary Elizabeth Winstead as an elementary school teacher who reluctantly begins going to AA meetings following an embarrassing public intoxication incident, Smashed highlights the ugly revelations that come to light once the haze of perpetual intoxication goes away as well as the huge challenges that come with trying to shake an addiction that has dictated how you lived your life for so long. It's a beautiful, devastating and important movie that deserves to  (and hopefully will) find an audience at some point.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my Ranked series, where I rank a franchise or filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of action star/former California governor/proud donkey owner Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Filmography Rankings:
23.Batman & Robin (D)
22.Red Heat (C+)
21.Last Action Hero (C+)
20.Terminator Genysis (B-)
19.Maggie (B-)
18.The Expendables 3 (B)
17.True Lies (B)
16.Kindergarten Cop (B)
15.Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (B)
14.The Running Man (B)
13.Escape Plan (B+)
12.Terminator: Dark Fate (B+)
11.Sabotage (B+)
10.Eraser (B+)
9.Commando (B+)
8.Total Recall (B+)
7.The Terminator (A-)
6.The Last Stand (A-)
5.The Expendables (A)
4.The Expendables 2 (A)
3.Jingle All the Way (A)
2.Predator (A)
1.Terminator 2: Judgement Day (A+)

Top Dog: Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
As willing as I am to defend the four polarizing entries that have been released since I've been alive (particularly last year's Dark Fate), they're all guilty of one cardinal sin: they're not Terminator 2. By further developing its iconic characters, upping the ante from an action/visual effects standpoint and adding an iconic villain (Robert Patrick's T-1000) to the mix, T2 helped dispel the myth that sequels couldn't be better than the originals.  

Lowlight: Batman & Robin (1997)
Cartoonish superhero movies can be great (look at Thor: Ragnarok, Birds of Prey and the Deadpool series). Batman & Robin is the kind of debacle that can happen when that formula backfires. Instead of being colorful, funny and self-aware like the aforementioned titles, Batman and Robin's full descent into campy comic book madness plays out like an annoying gimmick that only becomes more tiresome by the minute.

Most Underrated: The Last Stand (2013)
Any movie that features a climax that includes Schwarzenegger manning a mini-gun in the back of a school bus, Johnny Knoxville blowing up a man with a flare gun and an old lady capping a cartel henchman that unexpectedly enters her living room is going to earn high marks from me. This gloriously over-the-top B-action flick, which was the action icon's first starring role since 2003's Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, is exactly the type of exhilarating ass-kicking, joke-cracking thrill ride that cemented his stardom 30 years prior and easily ranks among the most purely fun movies he's ever made.

Most Overrated: True Lies (1994) 
While it definitely delivers in the action department, True Lies is a pretty overstuffed and tonally-inconsistent movie that foreshadowed the creative cliff James Cameron would eventually fall off of. The entire subplot involving Schwarzenegger's character following his wife around (Jamie Lee Curtis) to see if she's having an affair was a completely joyless (not to mention, borderline creepy) exercise that goes on for far too long and completely clashes with the huge, absurd action setpieces that occupy the final hour of the movie.

Top One-Liner: "You're Luggage" Eraser (1996)

(If you just want to see the line, fast forward to 2:40)
One-liners are a huge part of Schwarzenegger's legacy as an actor. You could probably fill a novel with all of the quotes of his that have bled into the general lexicon over the past 35 years. While it might not match "I'll be back" or "It's not a tumor" from a recognizability standpoint, this gem from his last delightfully dumb action blockbuster of the 90's has been a favorite of mine for a bit now. His signature deadpan delivery makes this walk-off line following a huge kill an unforgettably hilarious ending to a truly insane scene.

Greatest Christmas Movie Ever Made: Jingle All the Way (1996)
Whether It's a Wonderful Life, Elf or even Die Hard, a lot of people have a Christmas movie that helps them get in the spirit of the season every year. Since I was a kid, Jingle All the Way has filled that role. Nothing sets the stage for a month of holiday cheer like Schwarzenegger fighting an army of Santa impersonators that try to sell him a knock-off toy, a deranged mailman (Sinbad) threatening police with a (real) letter bomb and an electric finale that includes FUCKING JETPACKS. Can Frosty, Rudolph and The Grinch really compete with that stacked of a dance card? Don't think so.    

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2011

Honorable Mentions: Hobo with a Shotgun, Horrible Bosses, Martha Marcy May Marlene  

50/50: As I mentioned in my Top 20 Movies of the 2010's countdown earlier this year, I believe this is the single most underrated movie of the past decade. By combing gut-wrenching emotion with a sharp sense of humor and an exceptional cast anchored by an astounding Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the protagonist, 50/50 tackles cancer and how it effects everyone from the patient to their loved ones with a realism that other similar films couldn't even dream of. Hopefully Will Reiser returns to screenwriting again someday because the film world needs more stories that are profound and well-rounded as this.

Attack the Block: Longtime Edgar Wright collaborator Joe Cornish proved he could match the brilliance of his friend when he finally got the chance to direct his own movie. Not since Wright's Shaun of the Dead has a film expertly blended tense genre thrills with broad comedy to make a gory, hilarious and deliriously entertaining concoction. If Attack the Block's success as a sci-fi/horror/comedy hybrid wasn't enough, it was also the vehicle that was responsible for launching the great John Boyega's career as well as giving the current Doctor Who Jodie Whittaker one of her first prominent roles. Pretty good resume for a scrappy little British production that cost a little under $9 million in US dollars.    

Super 8: Well before Stranger Things became a cultural phenomenon, J.J Abrams was dabbling in the art of making throwback sci-fi adventures where misfit 12-13 year olds have a series of encounters with alien lifeforms. Abrams gleefully captures the spirit of Steven Spielberg's early work (E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind) by packing Super 8 with enough heart, humor and wonderous spectacle to make it a damn near perfect piece of popcorn entertainment.

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Wide Receivers

Note: Due to his uncertain future in the league, Antonio Brown was excluded from consideration for this list.

50.Christian Kirk (Cardinals)
49.Will Fuller (Texans)
48.Sterling Shepard (Giants)
47.Randall Cobb (Texans)
46.Cole Beasley (Bills)
45.Darius Slayton (Giants)
44.Marvin Jones Jr. (Lions)
43.Sammy Watkins (Chiefs)
42.Robby Anderson (Panthers)
41.Deebo Samuel (49ers)
40.D.K. Metcalf (Seahawks)
39.Jamison Crowder (Jets)
38.Golden Tate (Giants)
37.Alshon Jeffrey (Eagles)
36.Mike Williams (Chargers)
35.Emmanuel Sanders (Saints)
34.A.J. Green (Bengals)
33.Michael Gallup (Cowboys)
32.Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)
31.D.J. Chark (Jaguars)
30.A.J. Brown (Titans)
29.Terry McLaurin (Redskins)
28.Calvin Ridley (Falcons)
27.Brandin Cooks (Texans)
26.Courtland Sutton (Broncos)
25.Tyler Boyd (Bengals)
24.D.J. Moore (Panthers)
23.DeVante Parker (Dolphins)
22.John Brown (Bills)
21.Robert Woods (Rams)
20.Julian Edelman (Patriots)
19.JuJu Smith-Schuster (Steelers)
18.Kenny Golladay (Lions)
17.Cooper Kupp (Rams)
16.Jarvis Landry (Browns)
15.Amari Cooper (Cowboys)
14.Allen Robinson (Bears)
13.Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)
12.Adam Thielen (Vikings)
11.T.Y. Hilton (Colts)
10.Stefon Diggs (Bills)
9.Davante Adams (Packers)
8.Odell Beckham Jr. (Browns)
7.Keenan Allen (Chargers)
6.Tyreek Hill (Chiefs)
5.Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)
4.Mike Evans (Buccaneers)
3.Julio Jones (Falcons)
2.DeAndre Hopkins (Cardinals)
1.Michael Thomas (Saints)

Most Underrated Movies of the 2010's (By Year): 2010

A piece on the most underrated movies of the 2010's is something I've been teasing since March. While preparing NFL Draft content was partially responsible for the delay, it was predominantly because I wasn't exactly sure how to go about assembling the list. Approaching it like a traditional favorites countdown would be pretty difficult because underrated is a much broader categorization. Ranking things that are underrated also seems to kind of go against the whole spirit of the term. That's why I've decided instead of dropping a countdown of 20 movies, I'm going to profile a few underrated titles from each year of the 2010's-starting below with the natural jumping off point of 2010. This looser structure will not only allow me to profile more under-the-radar or not overly acclaimed titles, which is the whole point of this exercise in the first place, but avoid fully embracing the definitive, hardline nature that traditionally comes with these type of lists. Be sure to stay tuned in the coming weeks for more celebrations of underrated movies from the past 10 years!

(Note: Titles will be presented in alphabetical order throughout.)

Honorable Mentions: The A-Team, Buried, Going the Distance 

The Book of Eli: This was actually the title that finally got me to disregard the bullshit belief that January exclusively serves as a dumping ground for garbage movies. While its prominent religious subtext isn't something that I necessarily agree with, The Hughes Brothers (Dead Presidents, Menace II Society) last effort as a duo (for now at least) is one of the most effective post-apocalyptic films I've ever seen. From the bursts of brutal action to the seedy characters that lurk around every murky corner, this is the rare dystopian environment where the decay of a barren universe feels abundant and the layered performances from its leads (Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis) provide this perilous journey across a lawless wasteland with real, compelling emotional stakes.

MacGruber: Expanding a one-joke recurring Saturday Night Live sketch into a feature-length movie was a very risky proposition. Not only did Will Forte and Jorma Taccone prove they could stretch the comic appeal of MacGruber into a 90 minute package, they made the character 100x funnier than he was on the small screen. Forte's unbelievable commitment to playing this absurd character that reimagines MacGyver as an incompetent doofus, having a sharp supporting cast (Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillipe, Val Kilmer, Maya Rudolph, Powers Boothe) that fully leans into the cheesy 80's action movie parody vibe and embracing the lack of a filter the setting of an R-rated movie allows for makes this a home run comedy that consistently delivers huge laughs.      

Piranha 3D: Saying that a movie "couldn't/wouldn't get made today" is a common cliché in critical circles, but I'd be flat-out stunned if something like Piranha 3D got greenlit for theatrical release in the present day. This is a proper grindhouse-inspired exploitation flick that goes so over-the-top with its gore, nudity and self-aware stupidity that it almost feels surreal. Obviously that combo is going to alienate a lot of viewers, but its unapologetic commitment to its sleaziness is something that I find admirable, refreshing and downright hilarious.      

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Running Backs

50.Chris Thompson (Jaguars)
49.Royce Freeman (Broncos)
48.Justin Jackson (Chargers)
47.Tony Pollard (Cowboys)
46.Malcolm Brown (Rams)
45.Kerryon Johnson (Lions)
44.Rashaad Penny (Seahawks)
43.Jamaal Williams (Packers)
42.Frank Gore (Jets)
41.David Montgomery (Bears)
40.Ronald Jones (Buccaneers)
39.Tevin Coleman (49ers)
38.Latavius Murray (Saints)
37.Alexander Mattison (Vikings)
36.Gus Edwards (Ravens)
35.David Johnson (Texans)
34.Carlos Hyde (Seahawks)
33.Duke Johnson Jr. (Texans)
32.Adrian Peterson (Redskins)
31.Jordan Howard (Dolphins)
30.Devonta Freeman (Free Agent)
29.Sony Michel (Patriots)
28.Miles Sanders (Eagles)
27.Matt Brieda (Dolphins)
26.Tarik Cohen (Bears)
25.Damien Williams (Chiefs)
24.Raheem Mostert (49ers)
23.James White (Patriots)
22.Devin Singletary (Bills)
21.Le'Veon Bell (Jets)
20.James Conner (Steelers)
19.Todd Gurley (Falcons)
18.Kenyan Drake (Cardinals)
17.Phillip Lindsay (Broncos)
16.Marlon Mack (Colts)
15.Leonard Fournette (Jaguars)
14.Chris Carson (Seahawks)
13.Austin Ekeler (Chargers)
12.Mark Ingram (Ravens)
11.Melvin Gordon (Broncos)
10.Aaron Jones (Packers)
9.Joe Mixon (Bengals)
8.Dalvin Cook (Vikings)
7.Josh Jacobs (Raiders)
6.Nick Chubb (Browns)
5.Saquon Barkley (Giants)
4.Alvin Kamara (Saints)
3.Derrick Henry (Titans)
2.Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)
1.Christian McCaffery (Panthers)

DCU Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of my "Ranked" series, where I rank franchises, actors/director's filmographies, etc. from worst to best and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the polarizing DC Extended Universe. 

8.Man of Steel (D)
7.Wonder Woman (C)
6.Shazam! (C+)
5.Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-)
4.Suicide Squad (B)
3.Justice League (B+)
2.Aquaman (B+)
1.Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (A-)

Top Dog: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
The love I have for Birds of Prey was only further solidified upon a second viewing in theaters in late February. Cathy Yan pulled off what all directors should aim to do when they take on a project: made something that embodies the spirit of its protagonist from start to finish. The action is brutal, the humor is snarky, the visuals are bright and Margot Robbie is an unstoppable force that makes Quinn as lovable as a devious criminal psychopath could possibly be.

Lowlight: Man of Steel (2013)
As you can see from the rankings above, the two most popular DC punching bags (Suicide Squad, Batman v. Superman) are films I enjoy to a certain extent. Suicide Squad has a number of very engaging characters (Will Smith's Deadshot, Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, Jai Courtney's Captain Boomerang, Jay Hernandez's El Diablo) that light up the screen every moment they're on it and despite its significant shortcomings in the writing department, Batman v. Superman is ambitious and well-acted enough for me to respect to a certain degree. Just about all of the real vitriol I have towards films in this frequently frowned upon megafranchise is aimed at Man of Steel.

At the time of release, I was pretty much convinced that Man of Steel was going to be incredible.  Christopher Nolan, fresh off his Dark Knight trilogy, had a hand in the development of the story and after starting out his career by directing Dawn of the Dead/300/Watchmen/Sucker Punch, I flat-out worshipped Zack Snyder. After attending a midnight IMAX screening on the night it opened, I felt like a total stooge for having such a high degree of faith in this project. It felt like it was about 8 hours long, the action scenes look like they were shot from a blimp in the middle of a tornado and the acting, particularly Henry Cavill's sleepy take on Superman and the hysterical scenery-chewing of Michael Shannon's General Zod, is painful to watch. I'm completely comfortable saying that this the worst superhero movie I've seen short of Catwoman and Ang Lee's Hulk.

Most Inexplicable Success Story: Justice League (2017)
On paper, Justice League seemed destined to go down as a failure. Warner Brothers ordered rewrites to lighten up the tone after the negative response to the unrelenting darkness of Batman v. Superman and a family tragedy caused director Zack Snyder to be replaced by Joss Whedon during the early stages of the post-production process-which included pretty significant reshoots. Outside of some really weak jokes that were clearly written by Whedon, Justice League was a very enjoyable movie that showed no evidence of its difficult production. While it may not ever get mistaken for a game-changer in the superhero genre, it's an energetic, refreshingly streamlined team-up flick that's a lot more fun than about half of the MCU projects out there.

Least Deserving of Mass Praise: Shazam! (2019)
From production troubles to unfocused scripts, messiness has kind of become synonymous with the DC Universe in its early stages. Oddly enough, I feel like one of their few acclaimed, behind the scenes drama-free projects is easily the biggest clusterfuck they've ever produced. Shazam! features a cartoonish villain (Mark Strong) that runs around with an army of legimately eerie demon henchmen and hops between being a goofy, family-friendly superhero origin story surrounding a teenager (Asher Angel) who suddenly gains the ability to morph into an adult superhero (Zachary Levi) and a dour melodrama about said teenager's traumatic childhood spent in the foster care system. These drastic tonal swings create a major identity problem that makes Shazam! more frustrating than entertaining.

Best Remake of Captain America: The First Avenger: Wonder Woman (2017)
DC was having some trouble connecting with audiences after the lukewarm responses of Batman v. Superman and Suicide Squad , so why not follow the blueprint of beloved Marvel classic Captain America: The First Avenger to win people over?!?!. From the World War I Setting to the forced love story to the unbelievably cheesy villains, every element of 2011's most stunningly mediocre origin story is here along with a greater dose of slo-mo-fueled action scenes and comprehensive anonymity to spice things up a bit!

Do I Give A Shit About the Snyder Cut of Justice League?: Not Really

I have no problem just ignoring the cringey jokes and pretending that the theatrical version was entirely his vision. Plus I'm still not even if it actually exists and the vocal demand for its release continues to be really hilarious to me.     

2020 NFL Position Rankings: Top 25 Quarterbacks

Despite the draft and free agency playing out in a pretty normal fashion, the 2020 NFL Season remains very much in limbo. It's hard to believe that the pandemic will be down to manageable levels 4 months from now and even if by some series of miracles it is, an operation that requires well over 100 people to be in the same place for 3+ hours to pull off is the type of high risk bet that the league might not be wiling to make.

However, the NFL is currently operating like they'll be able to get a full season in, so why not follow their lead for now? This annual series is designed to be a fun exercise in ranking the best players in this league by position that fills a content void during a slow period in the league's offseason and hopefully it will continue to be that during a time where we may not be able to see them play anytime soon. Here are the parameters I used to guide the creation of this series:
1.Rookies are excluded
2.Each player is judged on where they currently stand in my opinion, not the player they once were or are going to be.
3.Each player is listed as a member of the team they will play for during the 2020 season.

Be sure to check back 2-3 times per week for the next month or so for new entries and please feel free to leave comments of any nature below. Hope you enjoy.

25.Jameis Winston (Saints)
24.Kyler Murray (Cardinals)
23.Sam Darnold (Jets)
22.Josh Allen (Bills)
21.Baker Mayfield (Browns)
20.Nick Foles (Bears)
19.Teddy Bridgewater (Panthers)
18.Derek Carr (Raiders)
17.Jared Goff (Rams)
16.Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)
15.Ryan Tannehill (Titans)
14.Matthew Stafford (Lions)
13.Jimmy Garoppolo (49ers)
12.Phillip Rivers (Colts)
11.Carson Wentz (Eagles)
10.Kirk Cousins (Vikings)
9.Dak Prescott (Cowboys)
8.Matt Ryan (Falcons)
7.Lamar Jackson (Ravens)
6.Deshaun Watson (Texans)
5.Tom Brady (Buccaneers)
4.Drew Brees (Saints)
3.Aaron Rodgers (Packers)
2.Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)
1.Russell Wilson (Seahawks)

Quick Album Reviews: The Weekend-After Hours, Dua Lipa-Future Nostalgia, August Burns Red-Guardians, The Black Dahlia Murder-Verminous

The Weeknd-After Hours: 
Reaching the milestone birthday of 30 has seemed to cause some change in The Weeknd's attitude. After cultivating an image based around nihilistic behavior, After Hours sees the R&B superstar breaking out of that sex-and-drug-fueled haze to explore the pain he's caused himself and others by living that lifestyle. The largely new wave/synthpop-inspired production and muted vocals, sometimes aided by well-deployed effects that really mesh with the tone of the album, create a melancholic universe where his deep-rooted feelings of regret really gets magnified. Even the more upbeat numbers ("Blinding Lights", "In Your Eyes", "Save Your Tears") contain a longing for the type of meaningful relationship he's deprived himself for so long underneath the bright chord progressions. While emotional pain has always played a sizable role in The Weeknd's music, taking accountability for his past recklessness and romantic missteps shows off a vulnerability that has never really existed.

Remarkably despite the generally depressive atmosphere, After Hours also features some of the catchiest music he's ever created. The icy, complex melodies come together in beautifully haunting fashion and the hooks of both the flashy ("Scared to Live", "Heartless", the aforementioned "sunny" tracks) and restrained variety ("Too Late", "Snowchild", "Until I Bleed Out") that emerge at various points of these unconventionally-structured tracks are home runs. Being able to create a project that is so emotionally transparent without sacrificing its more traditional pop sensibilities is exactly why After Hours is the first time he's achieved top-to-bottom excellence for the first time since House of Balloons.  
Grade: A
Standout Tracks: 1.After Hours 2.Too Late 3.In Your Eyes

Dua Lipa-Future Nostalgia:
After a very solid self-titled debut in 2017, Dua Lipa has quickly graduated to greatness with Future Nostalgia. This is a brisk (just under 37 minutes in length!), toweringly confident record that rides its thumping vintage disco-meets-modern electropop production, powerful hooks and gusto-filled vocals to its neon-drenched finish line without losing any of its bubbly edge along the way. Future Nostalgia is the type of consistent, bop-filled release that can elevate a popular young artist to international superstar status and if another single or two take off to the degree that "Don't Start Now" has, Lipa will hit that benchmark by the end of the year.
Grade: B+
Standout Tracks: 1.Hallucinate 2.Levitating 3.Cool

August Burns Red-Guardians:
As boring as they are write to about, August Burns Red's consistency remains very impressive. They've established a sound that works for them (progressive metalcore) and every couple years they hammer out some new tunes that operate within that framework. That approach or the quality of the results that come from them once again remained the same on Guardians. Outside of a couple of minor changes (scaling back a bit on the extended melodic interludes that they've utilized on their past few efforts, utilizing more of the clean-ish vocals they introduced on Phantom Anthem), Guardians is just another sturdily-assembled collection of passionate, melodic anthems from the grizzled Pennsylvania outfit. It's not their best effort nor is it their worst, but the general enjoyability of their music as well as their unblemished discography remains in tact-which is really all that matters.
Grade: B+
Standout Tracks: 1.Extinct by Instinct 2.Empty Heaven 3.Ties That Bind

The Black Dahlia Murder-Verminous:
2017's Nightbringers was an unexpected masterpiece that saw The Black Dahlia Murder put forth one of the finest efforts of their career thus far after slipping into a state that at least resembled complacency on their prior two releases (Everblack, Absysmal). The follow-up Verminous sadly sees the group regressing back to the form they showed on Everblack and Abysmal. This isn't to say that Verminous is bad. To be honest, it's even not close. Black Dahlia have been consistently producing punchy melodic death metal tracks for nearly 20 years now and Verminous' 10 tracks show that their steady, workman-like approach can still yield compelling results. The problem is that Nightbringers was an electric offering that saw the group embracing a faster, more relentless sound that put a refreshing new spin on their established strengths (big riffs, sweeping solos, breakneck drumming, Trevor Strnad's menacingly chaotic vocals) as a group. By returning to a more deliberate, ominous sound that's especially akin to Everblack, those strengths aren't as well utilized and make it feel like they're holding back a little. I realize that it isn't totally fair to dump on Black Dahlia for simply returning to a sound they've embraced extensively in the past, but it's hard not to feel kind of cheated and disappointed when they just how showed you have a bigger, better collection of stuff lurking in the depths of their unholy musical arsenal.    
Grade: B+
Standout Tracks: 1.Child of Night 2.The Wereworm's Feast 3.Sunless Empire

2010's NFL All-Decade Team

One of the seminal parts of being a diehard sports fan is looking back at the past. Perspective allows you to vividly relive beautiful triumphs, crushing defeats and the unforgettable moments in between that makes people tune in as well as develop an appreciation for true greatness on both an individual and team level. In that spirit, now is a great time to honor the players that defined greatness in the NFL over the past 10 years. The 2010's saw players that dominated the 2000's continue to roll through another decade, rising stars blossom into future Hall of Famers and new talent emerge that have already managed to leave a permeant imprint on the league. Without further ado, here's my NFL All-Decade Team for the 2010's.

Notes:
-All players are listed as members of the teams in which they played for in the 2010's, not the teams they played with prior to this past decade or will be playing for in 2020.
-Only the player's NFL output from 2010-19 was considered when making this list.
-This list is who I consider to the "best of the best". If a player isn't on the list, it doesn't mean I think they're not an elite talent. There is between 15-25 players who I believe should be Hall of Famers who didn't even get the Last Cut honorable mention for their positions and that's not even including the young players that are off to great starts to their careers.  

Quarterback:
1st team: Tom Brady (Patriots), Russell Wilson (Seahawks)
2nd team: Aaron Rodgers (Packers), Drew Brees (Saints)
Last Cut: Peyton Manning (Colts/Broncos)

Running Back:
1st team: Adrian Peterson (Vikings/Saints/Cardinals/Redskins), Marshawn Lynch (Bills/Seahawks/Raiders)
2nd team: LeSean McCoy (Eagles/Bills/Chiefs), Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)
Last Cut: Jammal Charles (Chiefs/Broncos/Jaguars)

Wide Receiver:
1st team: Calvin Johnson (Lions), Antonio Brown (Steelers/Patriots)
2nd team: DeAndre Hopkins (Texans), Julio Jones (Falcons)
Last Cut: Michael Thomas (Saints)

Tight End
1st team: Rob Gronkowski (Patriots)
2nd team: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
Last Cut: Greg Olsen (Bears/Panthers)

Tackle:
1st team: Joe Thomas (Browns), Tyron Smith (Cowboys)
2nd team: Jason Peters (Eagles), Andrew Whitworth (Bengals/Rams)
Last Cut: Joe Staley (49ers)

Guard:
1st team: Marshal Yanda (Ravens), Zack Martin (Cowboys)
2nd team: David DeCastro (Steelers), Jahri Evans (Saints/Packers)
Last Cut: Logan Mankins (Patriots/Buccaneers)

Center:
1st team: Alex Mack (Browns/Falcons)
2nd team: Travis Fredrick (Cowboys)
Last Cut: Ryan Kalil (Panthers/Jets)

Defensive End:
1st team: J.J. Watt (Texans), Cameron Jordan (Saints)
2nd team: Calias Campbell (Cardinals/Jaguars), Cameron Wake (Dolphins/Titans)
Last Cut: Julius Peppers (Bears/Packers/Panthers)

Defensive Tackle:
1st team: Aaron Donald (Rams), Ndamukong Suh (Lions/Dolphins/Rams/Buccaneers)
2nd team: Fletcher Cox (Eagles), Geno Atkins (Bengals)
Last Cut: Gerald McCoy (Buccaneers/Panthers)

Outside Linebacker:
1st team: Von Miller (Broncos), Khalil Mack (Raiders/Bears)
2nd team: DeMarcus Ware (Cowboys/Broncos), Robert Mathis (Colts)
Last Cut: Chandler Jones (Patriots/Cardinals)

Inside Linebacker:
1st team: Luke Kuechly (Panthers), Patrick Willis (49ers)
2nd team: Bobby Wagner (Seahawks), NaVorro Bowman (49ers/Raiders)
Last Cut: Derrick Johnson (Chiefs/Raiders)

Cornerback:
1st team: Richard Sherman (Seahawks/49ers), Darrelle Revis (Jets/Buccaneers/Patriots/Chiefs)
2nd team: Patrick Peterson (Cardinals), Chris Harris Jr. (Broncos)
Last Cut: Stephon Gilmore (Bills/Patriots)

Safety:
1st team: Earl Thomas (Seahawks/Ravens), Eric Weddle (Chargers/Ravens/Rams)
2nd team: Eric Berry (Chiefs), Charles Woodson (Packers/Raiders)
Last Cut: Harrison Smith (Vikings)

Kicker:
1st team: Justin Tucker (Ravens)
2nd team: Stephen Gostkowski (Patriots)
Last Cut: Dan Bailey (Cowboys/Vikings)

Punter:
1st team: Johnny Hekker (Rams)
2nd team: Pat McAfee (Colts)
Last Cut: Thomas Morstead (Saints)

Return Specialist:
1st team: Devin Hester (Bears/Falcons/Seahawks), Cordarrelle Patterson (Vikings/Raiders/Patriots/Bears)

2nd team: Darren Sproles (Chargers/Saints/Eagles), Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)
Last Cut: Andre Roberts (Cardinals/Redskins/Lions/Falcons/Jets/Bills)

Special Teamer:
1st team: Matthew Slater (Patriots), Justin Bethel (Cardinals/Falcons/Ravens/Patriots)
2nd team: Michael Thomas (Dolphins/Giants), Adrian Phillips (Chargers)
Last Cut: Cory Littleton (Rams)

Star Wars Ranked

Welcome to the inargual editon of my new "Ranked" series. Every week for the forseeable future, I'll be ranking franchises or the filmography's of actors/directors from worst to best, dropping various accolodes and delivering some postive/negative commentary. Hope you enjoy.   

11.Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (D+)
10.Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (C-)
9.Star Wars: Episode II-Attack of the Clones (C+)
8.Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace (C+)
7.Star Wars: The Last Jedi (B-)
6.Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith (B-)
5.Solo: A Star Wars Story (B)
4.Star Wars (B+)
3.Star Wars: The Force Awakens (A-)
2.Return of the Jedi (A-)
1.The Empire Strikes Back (A)

Top Movie: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Sorry to start things off with such a hot take, but I can't help how I feel damn it!!! The Empire Strikes Back is pretty much the perfect epic blockbuster movie. The story is constructed in a way that allows the stakes to gradually built throughout, the cast collectively improved upon their performances from the original and the ending is an iconic cliffhanger that organically sets up an exciting conclusion to the trilogy.
 

Worst Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
The Rise of Skywalker is less of a movie and more of a soulless business transaction cooked up in a Disney shareholder's meeting masquerading as a logical climax to this massive franchise's latest underwhelming trilogy. Everything from J.J. Abrams' bland direction to the phoned-in performances from everyone not named Daisy Ridley or Adam Driver gives off the feeling that most of the people involved with The Rise of Skywalker approached it like they were trying to complete a prison sentence. That laziness carries over the story which is essentially just a string of loosely-connected characters/callbacks from the original trilogy seemingly designed to serve as a pandering olive branch to the den of dinks who were furious about what Rian Johnson did to their precious canon with the "daring" choices he made with The Last Jedi. If Disney continues to actively undermine the creativity of the people that they hired to give their take on an iconic franchise in order to try and appease a group of angry YouTube commentators that are more than likely going to hate whatever they come out with, this franchise is fucking doomed (although today's news that Taika Waititi has been hired to direct the next movie is an encouraging sign that this won't be the case).

Most Underrated: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Trying to replicate the quality of the original trilogy is a dragon that Star Wars has been chasing since the franchise was revived in 1999. The Force Awakens is the only instance thus far that they were able to actually catch it. Sure it's more or less A New Hope 2.0, but it's familiar plot was injected with a palpable sense of energy and passion that allowed for the fun sci-fi adventure spectacle that the series was built on to make its long-awaited return. How the sequels failed to build off this strong start will be always be a bizarre and infuriating mystery to me.

Most Overrated: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
While Rogue One is a noble attempt to tell a standalone story that departs from a traditional Star Wars film as much as possible, those ambitions failed to result in an interesting product. Gareth Edwards (2014's Godzilla) gives his soul-crushingly slow pacing muscles an extensive workout, the leads (Felicity Jones, Diego Luna) are so stiff that I'm not unconvinced that the actors weren't replaced with mannequins at the start of filming and Ben Mendelsohn's cartoonish, pun-spewing villain is jarring as hell in a movie that otherwise embraces bleakness.

Best Character: Han Solo (Harrison Ford)-Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, The Force Awakens, The Rise of Skywalker (cameo)
Luke Skywalker may have been the hero of this story, but Solo is the hardened, swaggering presence that gave the Rebellion against the Sith the credibility it needed to flourish.

Worst Character: Poe Dameron (Oscar Issac)-The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker
Let's just say that I didn't except a typically top-notch performer like Oscar Issac to be the most consistently bad part of the Skywalker trilogy. Poe Dameron is just a bargain bin version of Han Solo that routinely derails scenes with his thoroughly unconvincing "Look at me, I'm the cool, wisecracking Rebel Pilot guy!" routine.