Welcome to the latest edition of "Ranked", where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the influnential action series "Die Hard".
Die Hard Ranked:
5.A Good Day to Die Hard (C-)
4.Die Hard 2 (B)
3.Live Free or Die Hard (A)
2.Die Hard with a Vengeance (A)
1.Die Hard (A+)
Top Dog: Die Hard (1988)
The legacy of Die Hard speaks for itself at this point. It's been imitated a million times over for the past 30 years and you'll be hard pressed to find even a single discussion of all time great action movies where it's not brought up. While there have been bigger scale productions and more impressively choreographed fights in a number of action movies that have been released since, Die Hard's top-to-bottom quality has arguably yet to be topped. From the iconic hero (John McClane vs. villain (Hans Gruber) battle of wits that drives its story to its clever, perfectly-delivered one-liners to how director John McTiernan uses the confined space of Nakatomi Plaza to stage tense action sequences, Die Hard is an endless buffet of every little thing that makes the genre so much fun to watch.
Lowlight: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Not only did A Good Day to Die Hard put a big blemish on the previously spotless resume of the Die Hard franchise, it marked the start of Bruce Willis' thoroughly disheartening "I'm just here for the paycheck" era. Willis brings big "old man nodding in-and-out at 7:30 PM while watching a baseball game" energy to his fifth portrayal of McClane, the action sequences are just soulless recreations of the cartoony ones from Live Free or Die Hard and the easily forgettable antagonists (Sergei Kolesnikov, Yuliya Snigir) are a disgrace to a series that has prided itself on strong, memorable villains.
Most Overrated: Die Hard 2 (1990)
Under traditional take-giving circumstances, I wouldn't call Die Hard 2 overrated. It's an enjoyable flick that features pretty impressive action, a legit lead villain in William Sadler's Colonel Stuart and more badassery from Willis. That being said, being a merely "good" movie is enough to dub something overrated in a franchise that's been exceptional for the most part.
Most Underrated: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Breaking a 12-year hiatus with a PG-13 rated movie seemed like an open invitation to remove the magic of Die Hard franchise by watering down the content to a level where it becomes just another anonymous, teen-friendly vehicle. Those very legitimate concerns proved to be all for nought as Live Free or Hard ended being almost on par with the terrific prior film Die Hard with a Vengeance. Len Wiseman giddily brought McClane into the 21st century with a high energy blockbuster that features plenty of insane action setpieces, an impressive supporting cast (Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Maggie Q, Kevin Smith) and a vintage form Willis who showed that he can still be a hilarious badass action hero without slinging constant F-bombs.
Best John McClane Sidekick: Zeus Carver (Samuel L. Jackson), Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Giving John McClane a true sidekick was introduced as a way to mix things up after the one man army approach of the first two installments. While Justin Long's work in Live Free for Die Hard is pretty great, Samuel L. Jackson was on another level in Die Hard with a Vengeance. Zeus Carver is the only time to date where McCLane was paired with someone that was a true equal. Carver spews jokes, kicks ass and exudes snarky charisma at the same level that McClane does, which in turn makes them an absolutely electric paring to build an action movie around.
Best Villain Not Named Hans Gruber: Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant), Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
A Die Hard villain role was something that Olyphant couldn't have possibly been qualified. He combines the maniacal overacting that defines the bad guys of this series with some well-deployed moments of restraint that brings a nice aura of mystery to the character.
Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?: Absolutely Not
I'M NOT JOINING THIS DAMN CULT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING TAKES PLACE ON CHRISTMAS EVE DOESN'T MAKE IT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.
Showing posts with label ranked. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ranked. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
Thursday, May 28, 2020
Ice Cube Ranked
Welcome to the latest editon of my Ranked series, where I rank a franchise or filmography of an actor/director from worst to best and hand out various related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Ice Cube.
Ice Cube's Filmography Rankings:
18.First Sunday (D+)
17.Friday After Next (D+)
16.Anaconda (C-)
15.Ride Along 2 (C)
14.xXx: State of the Union (B-)
13.Ride Along (B-)
12.All About the Benjamins (B-)
11.Fist Fight (B-)
10.Barbershop 2: Back in Business (B-)
9.Barbershop (B-)
8.Next Friday (B)
7.Barbershop: The Next Cut (B)
6.Three Kings (B+)
5.xXx: Return of Xander Cage (B+)
4.21 Jump Street (A)
3.22 Jump Street (A)
2.Boyz n the Hood (A)
1.Friday (A+)
Top Dog: Friday (1995)
Friday may be the Citizen Kane of stoner hangout movies. The vibe is appropriately relaxed, the characters are vibrant and the situations the main characters (Cube, Chris Tucker-both perfect for their roles) get into over the course of the day are consistently hilarious.
Lowlight: First Sunday (2008)
The monumental waste of talent otherwise known as First Sunday is one of the most inexplicable comedic misfires I've ever come across in the world of movies. Even before it turns into a tacky preachfest in the final act, funny people like Cube, Tracy Morgan and Katt Williams embarrass themselves by delivering weak jokes with the enthusiasm one would apply to giving directions to some random passerby.
Most Underrated: xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)
Vin Diesel's revival of the xXx series was one of the more pleasant surprises of the few years. By applying the self-aware tone, huge ensemble cast dynamic and commitment to staging the most absurd action sequences that can possibly be conceived by man that has fueled the recent entries of Fast and Furious to the globetrotting adventures of Xander Cage, this previously bland franchise evolves into a ridiculously entertaining, adrenaline-fueled blockbuster spectacle.
Most Overrated: Ride Along (2014)
For the sake of clarity, I'm deeming Ride Along overrated because of its enthusiastic audience response, not its reviews-which were mostly negative. Consistently mediocre material and several massive tonal swings overshadow a lot of the enjoyment that comes from seeing an effortlessly funny duo in Kevin Hart and Cube perform alongside each other for the first time.
Best Character: Captain Dickson, 21/22 Jump Street (2012/2014)
Casting Ice Cube as a vulgar, short-tempered police captain was nothing of a masterstroke. By pairing the intensity he brought to his music with the sharp comedic timing that has allowed him to transition so smoothly into acting, he turns into a god damn tornado of rage-fueled hilarity that steals every single scene he appears in over the course of both films.
Most Depressing Sequel: Friday After Next (2002)
If Last Friday does ever get made, they won't have to try hard to top this pile of garbage. Friday After Next isn't just a bad movie, it's a complete betrayal of the spirit of the franchise. The signature laid-back atmosphere feels forced, the jokes have a real nastiness to them and cast members both new and old ,with the exception of the late John Witherspoon, operate on autopilot.
Ice Cube's Filmography Rankings:
18.First Sunday (D+)
17.Friday After Next (D+)
16.Anaconda (C-)
15.Ride Along 2 (C)
14.xXx: State of the Union (B-)
13.Ride Along (B-)
12.All About the Benjamins (B-)
11.Fist Fight (B-)
10.Barbershop 2: Back in Business (B-)
9.Barbershop (B-)
8.Next Friday (B)
7.Barbershop: The Next Cut (B)
6.Three Kings (B+)
5.xXx: Return of Xander Cage (B+)
4.21 Jump Street (A)
3.22 Jump Street (A)
2.Boyz n the Hood (A)
1.Friday (A+)
Top Dog: Friday (1995)
Friday may be the Citizen Kane of stoner hangout movies. The vibe is appropriately relaxed, the characters are vibrant and the situations the main characters (Cube, Chris Tucker-both perfect for their roles) get into over the course of the day are consistently hilarious.
Lowlight: First Sunday (2008)
The monumental waste of talent otherwise known as First Sunday is one of the most inexplicable comedic misfires I've ever come across in the world of movies. Even before it turns into a tacky preachfest in the final act, funny people like Cube, Tracy Morgan and Katt Williams embarrass themselves by delivering weak jokes with the enthusiasm one would apply to giving directions to some random passerby.
Most Underrated: xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)
Vin Diesel's revival of the xXx series was one of the more pleasant surprises of the few years. By applying the self-aware tone, huge ensemble cast dynamic and commitment to staging the most absurd action sequences that can possibly be conceived by man that has fueled the recent entries of Fast and Furious to the globetrotting adventures of Xander Cage, this previously bland franchise evolves into a ridiculously entertaining, adrenaline-fueled blockbuster spectacle.
Most Overrated: Ride Along (2014)
For the sake of clarity, I'm deeming Ride Along overrated because of its enthusiastic audience response, not its reviews-which were mostly negative. Consistently mediocre material and several massive tonal swings overshadow a lot of the enjoyment that comes from seeing an effortlessly funny duo in Kevin Hart and Cube perform alongside each other for the first time.
Best Character: Captain Dickson, 21/22 Jump Street (2012/2014)
Casting Ice Cube as a vulgar, short-tempered police captain was nothing of a masterstroke. By pairing the intensity he brought to his music with the sharp comedic timing that has allowed him to transition so smoothly into acting, he turns into a god damn tornado of rage-fueled hilarity that steals every single scene he appears in over the course of both films.
Most Depressing Sequel: Friday After Next (2002)
If Last Friday does ever get made, they won't have to try hard to top this pile of garbage. Friday After Next isn't just a bad movie, it's a complete betrayal of the spirit of the franchise. The signature laid-back atmosphere feels forced, the jokes have a real nastiness to them and cast members both new and old ,with the exception of the late John Witherspoon, operate on autopilot.
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