On the evening of March 11th, a harbinger of the horrors that were on the horizon for the United States arrived when the NBA swiftly stopped play following Jazz center Rudy Gobert testing positive for coronavirus. Nearly five months later, the teams with the 22 best records in the league arrived to complete the suspended 2019-20 season in a "bubble" located on the property of Disney World in Orlando. With playing resuming tomorrow to begin determining the seeding for the playoffs, here's a look at the 10 teams in the NBA Bubble that I believe have the best odds of lifting up the Larry O'Brien Trophy in this unprecedented season.
1.Los Angeles Clippers: Sure, there's been some unforeseen complications surrounding the Clippers in recent weeks. Montrezl Harrell is currently outside the bubble dealing with a family matter and Lou Williams is quarantined in his hotel room for the next week or so because he got busted making a pitstop at Magic City for some "wings" during his league-approved departure from the bubble to attend his grandfather's funeral in Atlanta last week. Even with these unexpected absences heading into the start of play, I still believe they have the best odds of winning the title. Kawhi Leonard just led a team with a bit less talent to a championship a season ago, Paul George has put together his share of unreal playoff performances over the years despite never playing for a serious contender and their depth is just flat-out silly with a number of guys that are able to come off the bench (Harrell, Williams, Patrick Beverley, Marcus Morris, Ivica Zubac) and wreak havoc on both ends of the floor on any given night.
2.Los Angeles Lakers: A notably weaker bench-especially with elite playoff performer Rajon Rondo out indefinitely after undergoing surgery on the thumb he injured in one of the first practices held in Orlando-is enough to put the Lakers behind the Clippers. Still, any team with LeBron James and Anthony Davis in its starting lineup is going to have an excellent chance to win the whole thing-particularly with the added emotional incentive to bring home a title to honor the lives/legacies of Kobe and Gianna Bryant.
3.Milwaukee Bucks: How can the team with the best regular season record be at #3? Simple, they don't have the championship pedigree of the LA teams and their top player (Giannis Antetokounmpo) while as ballsy and dominant as they come, has a game that isn't necessarily geared towards thriving in an environment where shooting/free throw shooting prowess becomes more important. That being said, their strong secondary scoring led Khris Middleton and suffocating defense makes them an undeniable top-tier contender.
4.Toronto Raptors: The defending champs can't be slept on. Kawhi Leonard may have been the driving force behind their title run, but this roster is still super talented (Kyle Lowry, Serge Ibaka, Marc Gasol, Norman Powell, Fred VanVleet, Pascal Siakam-the latter two of which especially balled out in the playoffs last season) and the East is as wide open as ever-especially without the home court advantage that has a tendency to dictate things out of the equation.
5.Boston Celtics: A collective inability to stay healthy made it difficult for the Celtics to ever settle into a real groove during the regular season. While Kemba Walker's knee remains a huge concern, they're currently as healthy as they've been since opening night last October and that could make them very dangerous. Their starting lineup is full of guys (Walker, Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Gordan Hayward, Daniel Theis) who can score from anywhere and plus defenders who make up for their relative lack of size with relentless tenacity. If they can maintain their health and not have their lack of viable offensive players behind the first few spots on the bench (Marcus Smart, Enes Kanter, Brad Wanamaker) exposed, a Cinderella run could be on the table.
6.Denver Nuggets: The Nuggets have the unfortunate distinction of having the most guys whose arrival to the bubble was disrupted by the 'Rona. Key rotation players including Gary Harris and Torrey Craig just got to Orlando on Sunday and star Nikola Jokic has only been present for about 10 days after being medically cleared to travel from his home nation of Serbia following a battle with the virus in June. Those delays are likely going to make rust, conditioning, etc. a bigger problem for them than any other contender, but fortunately they still have enough veteran talent (Jamal Murray, Paul Millsap, Will Barton, Jerami Grant) in place to keep them afloat through the initial seeding slate while those key cogs get back in the swing of basketball and potentially allow them to compete at a high level come playoff time.
7.Miami Heat: The Heat may be the single biggest dark horse contender in the Bubble. Erik Spoelstra is an exceptional coach that knows how to get the most out of his players, their defense is downright stifling and Jimmy Butler, who balled out for the 76ers last postseason, is the first prime level superstar they've had since LeBron left town following the 2013-14 season. If I'm the Pacers, 76ers or Celtics, the Heat are the last team I'd want to draw in an opening round matchup.
8.Houston Rockets: This is probably too high for the Rockets since their two star players (James Harden, Russell Westbrook) have a habit of crapping themselves when the lights shine brightest and the center-less lineup that gave opponents headaches in the final few weeks of the regular season will likely be less effective with the consistent high-level defense that's played in the playoffs. That being said, they've brought in several excellent defenders (Robert Covington, Thabo Sefolosha, DeMarre Carroll) that should lower their odds of melting down on that end of the floor and their offense is just too damn explosive when it's clicking to write them off completely.
9.Philadelphia 76ers: Internal dysfunction and injuries that kept every one of their starters save for Tobias Harris out of the lineup for decent chunks of time prevented the 76ers from reaching their potential in the regular season. With a clean bill of health and a starting lineup (Harris, Ben Simmons, Joel Embiid, Al Horford, Josh Richardson) that is as talented and versatile on both ends of the floor as any team in the East, the 76ers could end up figuring things out in the Bubble-which could subsequently cause a huge disruption in the conference hierarchy.
10.Utah Jazz: Quin Snyder can always get a team to play their asses off and even without the injured Bojan Bogdanovoic, this Jazz team has more offensive firepower helping out their established hard-nosed corps (Rudy Gobert, Donovan Mitchell, Joe Ingles, Royce O'Neale) than they're accustomed to with sound veteran point guard Mike Conley and bench scoring machine Jordan Clarkson joining their ranks this season. Regardless of how talented their opponents are, they'll be a tough out in the ultracompetitive Western Conference.
Just Missed the Cut: Indiana Pacers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Dallas Mavericks
Ultra Dark Horse (Team Not Currently in Playoff Position): New Orleans Pelicans
Wednesday, July 29, 2020
Tuesday, July 28, 2020
Quentin Tarantino Ranked
Welcome to the latest edition of "Ranked", where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of writer/director Quentin Tarantino.
Note: Movies Tarantino only wrote (True Romance, From Dusk Till Dawn) or directed a segment of (Sin City, Four Rooms) were excluded from this list.
Quentin Tarantino's Filmography Ranked:
10.Death Proof (B)
9.Kill Bill Vol. 2 (B)
8.Jackie Brown (A-)
7.The Hateful Eight (A)
6.Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (A)
5.Inglorious Basterds (A)
4.Kill Bill Vol. 1 (A+)
3.Django Unchained (A+)
2.Reservoir Dogs (A+)
1.Pulp Fiction (A+)
Top Dog: Pulp Fiction (1994)
No film has made a greater impact on how much I appreciate and view the medium than this timeless masterpiece. Pulp Fiction introduced me to the concept of non-linear storytelling, how having interesting characters is ultimately more important than having conventionally "likable" ones and of course, the brilliance of Quentin Tarantino-who would later go onto become my favorite filmmaker. It also just happens to be a remarkably entertaining ride full of wild twists and clever, quotable dialogue. If this ever ends up getting unseated as my favorite movie, there's a good chance I'll enter a shock-induced coma.
Lowlight: Death Proof (2007)
I've never felt compelled to give Death Proof another watch, so it's entirely possible that it works better as a standalone effort. As part of the Grindhouse package, it suffered from being surrounded by sleazier, funnier and more enjoyable projects. A competent carsploitation thriller that's only real standout element is an eerie performance from Kurt Russell as a murderous stuntman that preys on women just couldn't compete with the bloody freewheeling fun of Robert Rodriguez's zombie flick Planet Terror or any of the fake trailers (Rodriguez's Machete, Rob Zombie's Werewolf Women of the S.S., Edgar Wright's Don't, Eli Roth's Thanksgiving) that perfectly captured the spirit of that era in genre movies.
Most Underrated: The Hateful Eight (2015)
While it may be a bit of a step down from the unbelievable Django Unchained, The Hateful Eight is still a terrific, unconventional take on the western from Tarantino. The consciously deliberate pacing allows the tension between this mix of characters on both sides of the law (Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Samuel L. Jackson, Walton Goggins, Demian Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern) that are stuck together in a small hotel during a blizzard to slowly escalate before the truth about their identities is revealed, the actors to turn in commanding performances (particularly Jackson and Goggins) and for the expected bloody finale to feel especially impactful.
Most Overrated: Kill Bill Vol.2 (2004)
Kill Bill Vol.2 ends on a triumphant note with an awesome fight between The Bride (Uma Thurman) and Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah) and a cathartic, surprisingly emotional final conformation with Bill (David Carradine) that put a nice bow on this epic story. The problem is that what precedes this terrific conclusion is a drawn-out, dull backstory that doesn't add much additional context as to why The Bride is going on her revenge spree while also failing to maintain the electric energy that made Kill Bill Vol.1 so successful.
Best Main Character: Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson), Pulp Fiction
There's no better vessel for Tarantino's witty, profane style of writing than Jules Winfield. Samuel L. Jackson turn this God-fearing hitman into the a scene-stealing, hilarious badass who almost exclusively dispenses all-timer monologues and dialogue exchanges. Displaying that level of dominance in a movie that features so many other awesome characters is exactly why Jules Winfield is such an icon.
Best Minor Character: Captain Koons (Christopher Walken), Pulp Fiction
From Brad Pitt in True Romance to Bruce Dern in Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood, Tarantino has consistently displayed a gift for giving minor characters moments to shine brightly. His crowning achievement in this area to date came with Christopher Walken's unforgettable cameo as Vietnam veteran Captain Koons in Pulp Fiction. The lengthy flashback scene in which he presents a young Butch Coolidge (Chandler Linduer, later portrayed by Bruce Willis) with his late father's prized watch that he stored in an unexpected place may not be the most clever or meaningful moment of Pulp Fiction, but Walken's firmly committed deadpan delivery makes it one of the funniest.
A Link to The Apartment Scene from Pulp Fiction Because It Does a Good Job of Illustrating Why I Love Tarantino So Much:
Note: Movies Tarantino only wrote (True Romance, From Dusk Till Dawn) or directed a segment of (Sin City, Four Rooms) were excluded from this list.
Quentin Tarantino's Filmography Ranked:
10.Death Proof (B)
9.Kill Bill Vol. 2 (B)
8.Jackie Brown (A-)
7.The Hateful Eight (A)
6.Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (A)
5.Inglorious Basterds (A)
4.Kill Bill Vol. 1 (A+)
3.Django Unchained (A+)
2.Reservoir Dogs (A+)
1.Pulp Fiction (A+)
Top Dog: Pulp Fiction (1994)
No film has made a greater impact on how much I appreciate and view the medium than this timeless masterpiece. Pulp Fiction introduced me to the concept of non-linear storytelling, how having interesting characters is ultimately more important than having conventionally "likable" ones and of course, the brilliance of Quentin Tarantino-who would later go onto become my favorite filmmaker. It also just happens to be a remarkably entertaining ride full of wild twists and clever, quotable dialogue. If this ever ends up getting unseated as my favorite movie, there's a good chance I'll enter a shock-induced coma.
Lowlight: Death Proof (2007)
I've never felt compelled to give Death Proof another watch, so it's entirely possible that it works better as a standalone effort. As part of the Grindhouse package, it suffered from being surrounded by sleazier, funnier and more enjoyable projects. A competent carsploitation thriller that's only real standout element is an eerie performance from Kurt Russell as a murderous stuntman that preys on women just couldn't compete with the bloody freewheeling fun of Robert Rodriguez's zombie flick Planet Terror or any of the fake trailers (Rodriguez's Machete, Rob Zombie's Werewolf Women of the S.S., Edgar Wright's Don't, Eli Roth's Thanksgiving) that perfectly captured the spirit of that era in genre movies.
Most Underrated: The Hateful Eight (2015)
While it may be a bit of a step down from the unbelievable Django Unchained, The Hateful Eight is still a terrific, unconventional take on the western from Tarantino. The consciously deliberate pacing allows the tension between this mix of characters on both sides of the law (Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Samuel L. Jackson, Walton Goggins, Demian Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern) that are stuck together in a small hotel during a blizzard to slowly escalate before the truth about their identities is revealed, the actors to turn in commanding performances (particularly Jackson and Goggins) and for the expected bloody finale to feel especially impactful.
Most Overrated: Kill Bill Vol.2 (2004)
Kill Bill Vol.2 ends on a triumphant note with an awesome fight between The Bride (Uma Thurman) and Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah) and a cathartic, surprisingly emotional final conformation with Bill (David Carradine) that put a nice bow on this epic story. The problem is that what precedes this terrific conclusion is a drawn-out, dull backstory that doesn't add much additional context as to why The Bride is going on her revenge spree while also failing to maintain the electric energy that made Kill Bill Vol.1 so successful.
Best Main Character: Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson), Pulp Fiction
There's no better vessel for Tarantino's witty, profane style of writing than Jules Winfield. Samuel L. Jackson turn this God-fearing hitman into the a scene-stealing, hilarious badass who almost exclusively dispenses all-timer monologues and dialogue exchanges. Displaying that level of dominance in a movie that features so many other awesome characters is exactly why Jules Winfield is such an icon.
Best Minor Character: Captain Koons (Christopher Walken), Pulp Fiction
From Brad Pitt in True Romance to Bruce Dern in Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood, Tarantino has consistently displayed a gift for giving minor characters moments to shine brightly. His crowning achievement in this area to date came with Christopher Walken's unforgettable cameo as Vietnam veteran Captain Koons in Pulp Fiction. The lengthy flashback scene in which he presents a young Butch Coolidge (Chandler Linduer, later portrayed by Bruce Willis) with his late father's prized watch that he stored in an unexpected place may not be the most clever or meaningful moment of Pulp Fiction, but Walken's firmly committed deadpan delivery makes it one of the funniest.
A Link to The Apartment Scene from Pulp Fiction Because It Does a Good Job of Illustrating Why I Love Tarantino So Much:
Monday, July 27, 2020
Movie Review: The Rental
Disappointed that COVID-19 ruined your summer vacation plans? Well, new horror movie The Rental may make you feel a bit better about those unexpected cancellations. The directorial debut of actor Dave Franco capitalizes on the very real anxieties that the owners of Airbnb properties are secretly spying on their guests. It tells the tale of a pair of couples (Dan Stevens/Alison Brie, Sheila Vand/Jeremy Allen White-all solid) who embark on a weekend trip to a secluded Northern California oceanside home. Their wishes of having a relaxing getaway in a beautiful place are promptly destroyed as the isolated setting and some unsettling discoveries/events around the property forces them to confront the frailty of their relationships all while simultaneously having to entertain the possibility that they don't have the place to themselves.
By blending interpersonal relationship horrors with some old school slasher vibes, Franco displays an impressive command of establishing atmosphere and suspense by telling a story that gradually ups the ante. Having revelations come to light that makes these couples question their ability to trust each other adds to the mounting paranoia brought on by the weird happenings going on around the house and makes the eventual exclamation mark payoff to this slow burn tale become even more panic-inducing. The brisk 88-minute runtime does allow for some plot holes to materialize and the ending could've been more rewarding if it were just a smidge less ambiguous, but those minor script problems are largely irrelevant when they're applied to a movie that is an unnervingly tense ride that becomes more harrowing by the minute. The Rental is a lean, effective genre exercise that adds Franco to the ever-expanding list of actors turned filmmakers who appear to have bright futures ahead of them behind the camera.
By blending interpersonal relationship horrors with some old school slasher vibes, Franco displays an impressive command of establishing atmosphere and suspense by telling a story that gradually ups the ante. Having revelations come to light that makes these couples question their ability to trust each other adds to the mounting paranoia brought on by the weird happenings going on around the house and makes the eventual exclamation mark payoff to this slow burn tale become even more panic-inducing. The brisk 88-minute runtime does allow for some plot holes to materialize and the ending could've been more rewarding if it were just a smidge less ambiguous, but those minor script problems are largely irrelevant when they're applied to a movie that is an unnervingly tense ride that becomes more harrowing by the minute. The Rental is a lean, effective genre exercise that adds Franco to the ever-expanding list of actors turned filmmakers who appear to have bright futures ahead of them behind the camera.
Grade: B+
Wednesday, July 22, 2020
Album Review: Juice WRLD-Legends Never Die
The entire music community was shaken on December 8th, 2019 when the news broke that rising star rapper/singer Juice WRLD had died of an accidental drug overdose in Chicago exactly one week after his 21st birthday. During his brief career, he developed a large, passionate fanbase with his introspective lyrics and earned the respect of his peers with his technical skills. In late January, a report from XXL revealed that he had at least 2,000 unreleased songs in the reserves and that his label was planning on assembling a new record featuring some of that material for a future release. Just over seven months after his death, his first posthumous release, Legends Never Die, has dropped and ends up serving as a nice tribute to his unique artistry.
The openness about his struggles with addiction makes Legends Never Die hard to process initially. No matter how hard you hard to try and focus on the entire musical package that it presents, there's just something eerie and surreal about hearing someone essentially prophesize their own death shortly after it actually happened. Lead single "Righteous" feels like he's writing his own obituary with its somber, subdued atmosphere while other tracks like "Wishing Well", "Fighting Demons" and "Up Up and Away" openly discuss how he used substances (Percocet/Xanax/codeine) to numb the pain caused by his anxiety/depression even though he was aware there could be potentially fatal consequences. While these tracks have a clear, emotional power to them, it remains really difficult to digest listening to someone speak about their demons after they died because of them. He knew as well as anyone that self-awareness is a blessing and a curse, and it's awful that the fears he had about his lifestyle choice putting him at risk to die young came true.
After moving past the strange feelings that get conjured up in the moments that deal with Juice's addiction, how good of a job Legends Never Die does of coherently putting together a product that honors Juice's vision comes into the focus. Unsurprisingly, Juice's camp wanted the vibe of Legends Never Die to be predominantly celebratory and his versatility allowed them to pull that off. Sad, emo rap tracks might be what he's best known for, but he was equally comfortable dropping noisy trap bangers ("Conversations", "Titanic"), poppy radio jams (the Halsey-aided "Life's a Mess", "Bad Energy") or even pop punk ("Man of the Year", "Come & Go"). Experimenting wasn't some kind of pandering gimmick for him, he had a wide range of influences that he wanted to honor on every record, and his gift for writing catchy melodies/hooks and adjusting his voice to fit whatever style he was utilizing on a given track allowed him to successfully acclimate to a solid number of different styles. Being able to successfully work within so many genres is a special skill that sits at the core of what made Juice WRLD the most buzzed-about young rapper to emerge in the last few years.
Considering the fact this could've easily just been some hastily-assembled collection of loosies designed to cash in on his untimely death, getting a posthumous release that demonstrates a good amount of what he could do musically while maintaining a natural flow is a pretty big victory. While there's enough forgettable whiffs here ("Hate the Other Side", "Blood on My Jeans", "Stay High") to show that he hadn't reached his full potential quite yet, this record demonstrates that he was on the right trajectory to do so and it's sad that we're never going to be able see where the full maturation of his gifts could've taken him. Given the aforementioned extensive library of tracks and subsequent commercial success of Legends Never Die, there's little doubt that more posthumous Juice WRLD record will be coming down the line. Let's hope that any follow-up release does as good of a job of honoring his life and talent as this does.
The openness about his struggles with addiction makes Legends Never Die hard to process initially. No matter how hard you hard to try and focus on the entire musical package that it presents, there's just something eerie and surreal about hearing someone essentially prophesize their own death shortly after it actually happened. Lead single "Righteous" feels like he's writing his own obituary with its somber, subdued atmosphere while other tracks like "Wishing Well", "Fighting Demons" and "Up Up and Away" openly discuss how he used substances (Percocet/Xanax/codeine) to numb the pain caused by his anxiety/depression even though he was aware there could be potentially fatal consequences. While these tracks have a clear, emotional power to them, it remains really difficult to digest listening to someone speak about their demons after they died because of them. He knew as well as anyone that self-awareness is a blessing and a curse, and it's awful that the fears he had about his lifestyle choice putting him at risk to die young came true.
After moving past the strange feelings that get conjured up in the moments that deal with Juice's addiction, how good of a job Legends Never Die does of coherently putting together a product that honors Juice's vision comes into the focus. Unsurprisingly, Juice's camp wanted the vibe of Legends Never Die to be predominantly celebratory and his versatility allowed them to pull that off. Sad, emo rap tracks might be what he's best known for, but he was equally comfortable dropping noisy trap bangers ("Conversations", "Titanic"), poppy radio jams (the Halsey-aided "Life's a Mess", "Bad Energy") or even pop punk ("Man of the Year", "Come & Go"). Experimenting wasn't some kind of pandering gimmick for him, he had a wide range of influences that he wanted to honor on every record, and his gift for writing catchy melodies/hooks and adjusting his voice to fit whatever style he was utilizing on a given track allowed him to successfully acclimate to a solid number of different styles. Being able to successfully work within so many genres is a special skill that sits at the core of what made Juice WRLD the most buzzed-about young rapper to emerge in the last few years.
Considering the fact this could've easily just been some hastily-assembled collection of loosies designed to cash in on his untimely death, getting a posthumous release that demonstrates a good amount of what he could do musically while maintaining a natural flow is a pretty big victory. While there's enough forgettable whiffs here ("Hate the Other Side", "Blood on My Jeans", "Stay High") to show that he hadn't reached his full potential quite yet, this record demonstrates that he was on the right trajectory to do so and it's sad that we're never going to be able see where the full maturation of his gifts could've taken him. Given the aforementioned extensive library of tracks and subsequent commercial success of Legends Never Die, there's little doubt that more posthumous Juice WRLD record will be coming down the line. Let's hope that any follow-up release does as good of a job of honoring his life and talent as this does.
Grade: B
Standout Tracks:
1.Righteous
2.Conversations
3.Screw Juice
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
Die Hard Ranked
Welcome to the latest edition of "Ranked", where I rank a franchise or the filmography of an actor/director and hand out related accolades. This week, I'm profiling the influnential action series "Die Hard".
Die Hard Ranked:
5.A Good Day to Die Hard (C-)
4.Die Hard 2 (B)
3.Live Free or Die Hard (A)
2.Die Hard with a Vengeance (A)
1.Die Hard (A+)
Top Dog: Die Hard (1988)
The legacy of Die Hard speaks for itself at this point. It's been imitated a million times over for the past 30 years and you'll be hard pressed to find even a single discussion of all time great action movies where it's not brought up. While there have been bigger scale productions and more impressively choreographed fights in a number of action movies that have been released since, Die Hard's top-to-bottom quality has arguably yet to be topped. From the iconic hero (John McClane vs. villain (Hans Gruber) battle of wits that drives its story to its clever, perfectly-delivered one-liners to how director John McTiernan uses the confined space of Nakatomi Plaza to stage tense action sequences, Die Hard is an endless buffet of every little thing that makes the genre so much fun to watch.
Lowlight: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Not only did A Good Day to Die Hard put a big blemish on the previously spotless resume of the Die Hard franchise, it marked the start of Bruce Willis' thoroughly disheartening "I'm just here for the paycheck" era. Willis brings big "old man nodding in-and-out at 7:30 PM while watching a baseball game" energy to his fifth portrayal of McClane, the action sequences are just soulless recreations of the cartoony ones from Live Free or Die Hard and the easily forgettable antagonists (Sergei Kolesnikov, Yuliya Snigir) are a disgrace to a series that has prided itself on strong, memorable villains.
Most Overrated: Die Hard 2 (1990)
Under traditional take-giving circumstances, I wouldn't call Die Hard 2 overrated. It's an enjoyable flick that features pretty impressive action, a legit lead villain in William Sadler's Colonel Stuart and more badassery from Willis. That being said, being a merely "good" movie is enough to dub something overrated in a franchise that's been exceptional for the most part.
Most Underrated: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Breaking a 12-year hiatus with a PG-13 rated movie seemed like an open invitation to remove the magic of Die Hard franchise by watering down the content to a level where it becomes just another anonymous, teen-friendly vehicle. Those very legitimate concerns proved to be all for nought as Live Free or Hard ended being almost on par with the terrific prior film Die Hard with a Vengeance. Len Wiseman giddily brought McClane into the 21st century with a high energy blockbuster that features plenty of insane action setpieces, an impressive supporting cast (Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Maggie Q, Kevin Smith) and a vintage form Willis who showed that he can still be a hilarious badass action hero without slinging constant F-bombs.
Best John McClane Sidekick: Zeus Carver (Samuel L. Jackson), Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Giving John McClane a true sidekick was introduced as a way to mix things up after the one man army approach of the first two installments. While Justin Long's work in Live Free for Die Hard is pretty great, Samuel L. Jackson was on another level in Die Hard with a Vengeance. Zeus Carver is the only time to date where McCLane was paired with someone that was a true equal. Carver spews jokes, kicks ass and exudes snarky charisma at the same level that McClane does, which in turn makes them an absolutely electric paring to build an action movie around.
Best Villain Not Named Hans Gruber: Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant), Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
A Die Hard villain role was something that Olyphant couldn't have possibly been qualified. He combines the maniacal overacting that defines the bad guys of this series with some well-deployed moments of restraint that brings a nice aura of mystery to the character.
Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?: Absolutely Not
I'M NOT JOINING THIS DAMN CULT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING TAKES PLACE ON CHRISTMAS EVE DOESN'T MAKE IT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.
Die Hard Ranked:
5.A Good Day to Die Hard (C-)
4.Die Hard 2 (B)
3.Live Free or Die Hard (A)
2.Die Hard with a Vengeance (A)
1.Die Hard (A+)
Top Dog: Die Hard (1988)
The legacy of Die Hard speaks for itself at this point. It's been imitated a million times over for the past 30 years and you'll be hard pressed to find even a single discussion of all time great action movies where it's not brought up. While there have been bigger scale productions and more impressively choreographed fights in a number of action movies that have been released since, Die Hard's top-to-bottom quality has arguably yet to be topped. From the iconic hero (John McClane vs. villain (Hans Gruber) battle of wits that drives its story to its clever, perfectly-delivered one-liners to how director John McTiernan uses the confined space of Nakatomi Plaza to stage tense action sequences, Die Hard is an endless buffet of every little thing that makes the genre so much fun to watch.
Lowlight: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Not only did A Good Day to Die Hard put a big blemish on the previously spotless resume of the Die Hard franchise, it marked the start of Bruce Willis' thoroughly disheartening "I'm just here for the paycheck" era. Willis brings big "old man nodding in-and-out at 7:30 PM while watching a baseball game" energy to his fifth portrayal of McClane, the action sequences are just soulless recreations of the cartoony ones from Live Free or Die Hard and the easily forgettable antagonists (Sergei Kolesnikov, Yuliya Snigir) are a disgrace to a series that has prided itself on strong, memorable villains.
Most Overrated: Die Hard 2 (1990)
Under traditional take-giving circumstances, I wouldn't call Die Hard 2 overrated. It's an enjoyable flick that features pretty impressive action, a legit lead villain in William Sadler's Colonel Stuart and more badassery from Willis. That being said, being a merely "good" movie is enough to dub something overrated in a franchise that's been exceptional for the most part.
Most Underrated: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Breaking a 12-year hiatus with a PG-13 rated movie seemed like an open invitation to remove the magic of Die Hard franchise by watering down the content to a level where it becomes just another anonymous, teen-friendly vehicle. Those very legitimate concerns proved to be all for nought as Live Free or Hard ended being almost on par with the terrific prior film Die Hard with a Vengeance. Len Wiseman giddily brought McClane into the 21st century with a high energy blockbuster that features plenty of insane action setpieces, an impressive supporting cast (Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Maggie Q, Kevin Smith) and a vintage form Willis who showed that he can still be a hilarious badass action hero without slinging constant F-bombs.
Best John McClane Sidekick: Zeus Carver (Samuel L. Jackson), Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Giving John McClane a true sidekick was introduced as a way to mix things up after the one man army approach of the first two installments. While Justin Long's work in Live Free for Die Hard is pretty great, Samuel L. Jackson was on another level in Die Hard with a Vengeance. Zeus Carver is the only time to date where McCLane was paired with someone that was a true equal. Carver spews jokes, kicks ass and exudes snarky charisma at the same level that McClane does, which in turn makes them an absolutely electric paring to build an action movie around.
Best Villain Not Named Hans Gruber: Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant), Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
A Die Hard villain role was something that Olyphant couldn't have possibly been qualified. He combines the maniacal overacting that defines the bad guys of this series with some well-deployed moments of restraint that brings a nice aura of mystery to the character.
Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?: Absolutely Not
I'M NOT JOINING THIS DAMN CULT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING TAKES PLACE ON CHRISTMAS EVE DOESN'T MAKE IT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.
Monday, July 20, 2020
Album Review: Run the Jewels-RTJ4
The level of anticipation for the fourth Run the Jewels project was reaching a fever pitch in the early stages of 2020. El-P and Killer Mike had been teasing the project throughout last year and given that they had taken a break to focus on other ventures after barely pausing at all from summer 2013- spring 2018, fans had a tangible hunger to hear the first material they'd recorded since RTJ3 dropped in December 2016. That long wait for new music ended up being an unexpected blessing because when RTJ4 finally dropped, it boasted an impact that I'm sure even Killer Mike and El-P couldn't have imagined while they were making it.
From a pure musical perspective, RTJ4 isn't too much different from the previous Run the Jewels records. Its more or less another 11 tracks worth of Killer Mike and El-P trading sharp, aggressive bars behind mammoth maximalist beats that are still predominantly produced by El-P himself. Their unapologetically abrasive playbook is every bit as effective now as it was on their debut and their partnership remains a gift to the entire hip hop community.
Where RTJ4 picks up its added weight is in the sheer timeliness of its release. Run the Jewels has spoken out on an array of political/social issues including police brutality, systemic racism and government corruption from day one, and releasing new material during a time where people from all backgrounds are banding together to demand that these deep-rooted structures of oppression get dismantled makes their messages more powerful than ever before. When they tackle a topic like how the prison system ("Walking in the Snow") is designed to target people of color in poor areas or the role extreme wealth plays in corrupting the justice/political system ("Ju$t"), there's a level of palpable urgency that makes the anger and potency that runs through their lyrics register on a deeper level. Not to minimize anything that's addressed on this record, but these sentiments just wouldn't hit with the same amount of force if they weren't released at a time where the full scope of the injustice inflicted by these issues was on display for everyone to see.
They also understand how crucial it is to provide the listener with some mental breaks by deploying some explosive, absurdly fun bangers ("Out of Sight", "The Ground Below", "Yankee and the Brave") at various points of the record. Persistence is key in fighting for real change, but reprieves from that taxing struggle are needed to maintain sanity and there aren't too many things that can do a better job of providing escapism than some clever over some of the most preposterously hard beats that mere mortals have ever cooked up. This balance of political anthems that amplify the massive structural issues that continue to be a crippling burden on our society and taking brief moments to escape from the gravity of this long, hard fight for a more just world is what makes Run the Jewels such a profoundly important act that was built to thrive in our current climate.
RTJ4 is a reminder of how releasing something at the right moment can elevate art. What would've been just another politically-tinged hardcore hip hop triumph at a different time has become an incendiary yet hopeful gospel for the people that are actively fighting against injustice. While the history books will ultimately dictate the scale of real change that stems from this moment, we're lucky to have musicians that are as intelligent, resilient and talented as Killer Mike and El-P that are able to incite conversations through their art about issues that previously haven't received the level of attention they deserve.
From a pure musical perspective, RTJ4 isn't too much different from the previous Run the Jewels records. Its more or less another 11 tracks worth of Killer Mike and El-P trading sharp, aggressive bars behind mammoth maximalist beats that are still predominantly produced by El-P himself. Their unapologetically abrasive playbook is every bit as effective now as it was on their debut and their partnership remains a gift to the entire hip hop community.
Where RTJ4 picks up its added weight is in the sheer timeliness of its release. Run the Jewels has spoken out on an array of political/social issues including police brutality, systemic racism and government corruption from day one, and releasing new material during a time where people from all backgrounds are banding together to demand that these deep-rooted structures of oppression get dismantled makes their messages more powerful than ever before. When they tackle a topic like how the prison system ("Walking in the Snow") is designed to target people of color in poor areas or the role extreme wealth plays in corrupting the justice/political system ("Ju$t"), there's a level of palpable urgency that makes the anger and potency that runs through their lyrics register on a deeper level. Not to minimize anything that's addressed on this record, but these sentiments just wouldn't hit with the same amount of force if they weren't released at a time where the full scope of the injustice inflicted by these issues was on display for everyone to see.
They also understand how crucial it is to provide the listener with some mental breaks by deploying some explosive, absurdly fun bangers ("Out of Sight", "The Ground Below", "Yankee and the Brave") at various points of the record. Persistence is key in fighting for real change, but reprieves from that taxing struggle are needed to maintain sanity and there aren't too many things that can do a better job of providing escapism than some clever over some of the most preposterously hard beats that mere mortals have ever cooked up. This balance of political anthems that amplify the massive structural issues that continue to be a crippling burden on our society and taking brief moments to escape from the gravity of this long, hard fight for a more just world is what makes Run the Jewels such a profoundly important act that was built to thrive in our current climate.
RTJ4 is a reminder of how releasing something at the right moment can elevate art. What would've been just another politically-tinged hardcore hip hop triumph at a different time has become an incendiary yet hopeful gospel for the people that are actively fighting against injustice. While the history books will ultimately dictate the scale of real change that stems from this moment, we're lucky to have musicians that are as intelligent, resilient and talented as Killer Mike and El-P that are able to incite conversations through their art about issues that previously haven't received the level of attention they deserve.
Grade: A
Notable Tracks:
1.Out of Sight (feat. 2 Chainz)
2.Walking in the Snow (feat. Gangsta Boo)
3.The Ground Below
Friday, July 17, 2020
Movie Review: Palm Springs
Groundhog Day is held in such high regard that every movie that features a plot involving time loops gets linked to it, regardless of genre or the presence of any other narrative parallels. After 27 years of occupying this space alone, another romantic comedy has finally decided to follow Groundhog Day's storytelling formula. While time will tell if it can develop a comparable legacy, Palm Springs boasts the same combination of charm, laughs and lighthearted fun that allowed Groundhog Day to become a cultural touchstone.
What makes Palm Springs "two people get stuck repeating the same day for eternity" hook work is the fantastic lead pairing of Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti. There are clunky narrative detours involving puzzling, underdeveloped explanations of the physics of the time loop and adding melodramatic layers designed to accelerate the character's efforts to find a way to break the loop where the committed, multi-faceted turns of Samberg and Milioti are the only things keeping the project from falling apart.
The emotional fatigue and monotony that comes with reliving the same day isn't exactly a setup that's designed for romance to thrive in and the Samberg/Milioti team never treat it as such. There's hostility, a refusal to be fully honest with each other and even some anarchy when some unforeseen variables enter the equation at a few points alongside the inevitable sparks that tease the presence of a potential budding relationship. The lone constant through this rapidly-shifting emotional gamut is that Samberg and Milioti tackle the fluid nature of their character's relationship with the utmost grace.
Each sequence provides an opportunity for them to win the audience over in a different way (laughs, charms, soul-bearing revelations) and they do so repeatedly until it reaches the best possible conclusion for its characters. Getting to the point where the viewer is invested enough in the main characters that the eventual outcome makes them feel something positive is typically the ultimate goal of a romantic comedy and for whatever problems it has, Palm Springs is a big hit on that front.
While I'm not definitely not as smitten with it as a lot of professional critics are, Palm Springs is the best straight-up comedy of the year so far and another impressive entry on the film resume of The Lonely Island crew. Hopefully the collective enthusiasm and record-shattering streaming numbers (it's undisclosed viewcount over the first three day of release was the highest Hulu has ever had for a movie in its history) it's produced will be another step towards convincing the industry to start investing more resources into adult-aimed comedies.
Grade: B+
What makes Palm Springs "two people get stuck repeating the same day for eternity" hook work is the fantastic lead pairing of Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti. There are clunky narrative detours involving puzzling, underdeveloped explanations of the physics of the time loop and adding melodramatic layers designed to accelerate the character's efforts to find a way to break the loop where the committed, multi-faceted turns of Samberg and Milioti are the only things keeping the project from falling apart.
The emotional fatigue and monotony that comes with reliving the same day isn't exactly a setup that's designed for romance to thrive in and the Samberg/Milioti team never treat it as such. There's hostility, a refusal to be fully honest with each other and even some anarchy when some unforeseen variables enter the equation at a few points alongside the inevitable sparks that tease the presence of a potential budding relationship. The lone constant through this rapidly-shifting emotional gamut is that Samberg and Milioti tackle the fluid nature of their character's relationship with the utmost grace.
Each sequence provides an opportunity for them to win the audience over in a different way (laughs, charms, soul-bearing revelations) and they do so repeatedly until it reaches the best possible conclusion for its characters. Getting to the point where the viewer is invested enough in the main characters that the eventual outcome makes them feel something positive is typically the ultimate goal of a romantic comedy and for whatever problems it has, Palm Springs is a big hit on that front.
While I'm not definitely not as smitten with it as a lot of professional critics are, Palm Springs is the best straight-up comedy of the year so far and another impressive entry on the film resume of The Lonely Island crew. Hopefully the collective enthusiasm and record-shattering streaming numbers (it's undisclosed viewcount over the first three day of release was the highest Hulu has ever had for a movie in its history) it's produced will be another step towards convincing the industry to start investing more resources into adult-aimed comedies.
Grade: B+
Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Movie Review: The Old Guard
In a world where the pandemic didn't exist, the 2020 summer movie season would be just past the halfway point. The likes of Black Widow, F9 and Top Gun: Maverick would already be out and the release of Tenet would be just a day away. Luckily, Netflix has arrived to fill the void left by the closure of movie theaters and subsequent delays of marquee titles by gifting the world with a much-needed dose of high quality blockbuster entertainment in The Old Guard that makes this unusual summer feel just a little bit more normal.
The Old Guard tells the story of a group of immortal warriors (Charlize Theron, Matthias Schoenaerts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli) with regenerative healing abilities that covertly use their gifts to help people in need all over the world. Their centuries-old cover is blown after they're hired for a bogus mission in South Sudan by an ex-CIA operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) whose working for a young British pharmaceutical executive (Harry Melling) that intends to expose their condition to aid in the development of a miracle drug that would serve as a cure for all life-threating ailments that would earn him a historic payday. Further complications arise when the team becomes aware of a young American solider (KiKi Layne) that suffers from their affliction after she quickly recovers from getting her throat slit in combat and have to head to Afghanistan to retrieve her. With their anonymous existence suddenly destroyed and a skeptical new member-the first of which they've had in nearly 200 years-now in their ranks, these warriors are forced to prepare for their toughest battle to date.
What's cool about The Old Guard is that its really invested in exploring its characters. When you're working on a film that's designed to be part of a franchise (the graphic novel in which its based on is a trilogy), getting to know the protagonists is imperative to generate a hook that will get the viewers interested in this universe for the long-term and by using the introductory film to examine the emotional toll that comes with living forever, it allows a strong investment in these characters to be built right away. Scenes scattered throughout the narrative provide insight into how each individual on the team has dealt with their blessing/curse: Theron's Andy, who is the oldest of the group, questions whether or not their efforts are actually helping anyone, Schoenaerts' Booker remains haunted by watching his family slowly die over the years, Layne's Niles struggles to accept the solitary life she's suddenly forced to live as a result of her newly-discovered condition and the love that blossoms between Kenzari's Joe and Marinelli's Nicky gives them a positive outlook on their work and being alive for hundreds of years that starkly contrasts with the rest of the group. Pondering the existential burden that comes with living for so long and how every person is going to tackle that struggle differently wasn't something I really expected coming in, and writer Greg Rucka- who also penned the graphic novel series-deserves a lot of credit for bucking the genre norms by taking a solid chunk of time to explore the emotions of the story's heroes without ever detracting from the momentum of the primary plot.
At the end of the day, this is a film about badass soldiers who have been kicking ass on every continent for centuries and some strong character work wouldn't be enough to shield the presence of limp action sequences that didn't live up to the legendary reputations of these characters. With diverse fight choreography from Daniel Hernandez, a committed cast that did a good chunk of their own stunts and steady direction from Gina Prince-Bythewood (Beyond the Lights, Love & Basketball), all of the essential boxes on that front are defiantly checked.
Each action scene boasts a feeling of seemingly effortless fluidity that should be present in a movie that's centered around a team that's fought alongside each other tens of thousands of times. They're such a well-oiled machine that they can adjust on the fly to whatever their opponents throw at them (guns, fists, axes, swords, grenades) and snuff out on a whim when one of their own needs some help in taking down an enemy. It's kind of like watching the Globetrotters except instead of spinning basketballs on the fingers, "The Old Guard" can brutally dispatch a room full of people in 90 seconds or less with whatever's available to them. Staging action sequences that emphasize the dynamic combat gifts of the protagonists and just how much of a disadvantage their enemies are at regardless of what weapons they brandish or how extensive their training is goes in a long way in helping to sell the belief that the titular band of heroes are the most experienced, lethal warriors the world has ever seen.
The Old Guard is a terrific opening chapter in this likely franchise. It's another impressive example of a filmmaker who previously only made small-scale dramas seamlessly adapting to the world of blockbusters as well as the perfect antidote to this unusual summer slate that had been completely devoid of the massive, well-crafted fun movies that typically occupy this portion of the calendar up to this point. If the strong action/characterization balance can remain in tact for the future installments, The Old Guard could very well end up going down as a classic franchise.
The Old Guard tells the story of a group of immortal warriors (Charlize Theron, Matthias Schoenaerts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli) with regenerative healing abilities that covertly use their gifts to help people in need all over the world. Their centuries-old cover is blown after they're hired for a bogus mission in South Sudan by an ex-CIA operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) whose working for a young British pharmaceutical executive (Harry Melling) that intends to expose their condition to aid in the development of a miracle drug that would serve as a cure for all life-threating ailments that would earn him a historic payday. Further complications arise when the team becomes aware of a young American solider (KiKi Layne) that suffers from their affliction after she quickly recovers from getting her throat slit in combat and have to head to Afghanistan to retrieve her. With their anonymous existence suddenly destroyed and a skeptical new member-the first of which they've had in nearly 200 years-now in their ranks, these warriors are forced to prepare for their toughest battle to date.
What's cool about The Old Guard is that its really invested in exploring its characters. When you're working on a film that's designed to be part of a franchise (the graphic novel in which its based on is a trilogy), getting to know the protagonists is imperative to generate a hook that will get the viewers interested in this universe for the long-term and by using the introductory film to examine the emotional toll that comes with living forever, it allows a strong investment in these characters to be built right away. Scenes scattered throughout the narrative provide insight into how each individual on the team has dealt with their blessing/curse: Theron's Andy, who is the oldest of the group, questions whether or not their efforts are actually helping anyone, Schoenaerts' Booker remains haunted by watching his family slowly die over the years, Layne's Niles struggles to accept the solitary life she's suddenly forced to live as a result of her newly-discovered condition and the love that blossoms between Kenzari's Joe and Marinelli's Nicky gives them a positive outlook on their work and being alive for hundreds of years that starkly contrasts with the rest of the group. Pondering the existential burden that comes with living for so long and how every person is going to tackle that struggle differently wasn't something I really expected coming in, and writer Greg Rucka- who also penned the graphic novel series-deserves a lot of credit for bucking the genre norms by taking a solid chunk of time to explore the emotions of the story's heroes without ever detracting from the momentum of the primary plot.
At the end of the day, this is a film about badass soldiers who have been kicking ass on every continent for centuries and some strong character work wouldn't be enough to shield the presence of limp action sequences that didn't live up to the legendary reputations of these characters. With diverse fight choreography from Daniel Hernandez, a committed cast that did a good chunk of their own stunts and steady direction from Gina Prince-Bythewood (Beyond the Lights, Love & Basketball), all of the essential boxes on that front are defiantly checked.
Each action scene boasts a feeling of seemingly effortless fluidity that should be present in a movie that's centered around a team that's fought alongside each other tens of thousands of times. They're such a well-oiled machine that they can adjust on the fly to whatever their opponents throw at them (guns, fists, axes, swords, grenades) and snuff out on a whim when one of their own needs some help in taking down an enemy. It's kind of like watching the Globetrotters except instead of spinning basketballs on the fingers, "The Old Guard" can brutally dispatch a room full of people in 90 seconds or less with whatever's available to them. Staging action sequences that emphasize the dynamic combat gifts of the protagonists and just how much of a disadvantage their enemies are at regardless of what weapons they brandish or how extensive their training is goes in a long way in helping to sell the belief that the titular band of heroes are the most experienced, lethal warriors the world has ever seen.
The Old Guard is a terrific opening chapter in this likely franchise. It's another impressive example of a filmmaker who previously only made small-scale dramas seamlessly adapting to the world of blockbusters as well as the perfect antidote to this unusual summer slate that had been completely devoid of the massive, well-crafted fun movies that typically occupy this portion of the calendar up to this point. If the strong action/characterization balance can remain in tact for the future installments, The Old Guard could very well end up going down as a classic franchise.
Grade: A-
Tuesday, July 14, 2020
Movie Adaptations of TV Shows Ranked
Welcome to the latest editon of the "Ranked" series, where I rank a franchise, ultraspecific category of movie or the filmography of an actor from worst to best and hand out related accoloades. This week, I'm focusing on Movie Adaptations of TV Shows.
Movie Adaptations of TV Shows Ranked:
Note#1 : This list excludes adaptations featuring characters from TV shows (MacGruber, Good Burger), shows based on properties that originated in other forms of media (Pokémon, The Muppets) or projects featuring groups that started on TV, but later went onto to do things that had nothing to do with the material from their TV series (Monty Python).
Note #2: Given the large volume of titles that fall under this umbrella, it's entirely possible that I missed some. If I do discover that I missed something, I'll promptly add it and acknowledge the mistake.
64.The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (F)
63.The Crocodile Hunter: Collison Course (D-)
62.Inspector Gadget (D-)
61.The Dukes of Hazzard (D-)
60.The Last Airbender (D)
59.McHale's Navy (D)
58.Scooby-Doo (D)
57.The Brady Bunch Movie (D+)
56.The Flintstones (D+)
55.George of the Jungle (D+)
54.The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (C-)
53.Fantasy Island (C-)
52.The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (C-)
51.Charlie's Angels (2000) (C)
50.The Addams Family (1991) (C)
49.The Equalizer 2 (C)
48.The Rugrats Movie (C)
47.Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (C)
46.Rugrats in Paris (C+)
45.Edge of Darkness (C+)
44.The Honeymooners (C+)
43.Teen Titans! Go to the Movies (B-)
42.CHiPs (B-)
41.State of Play (B-)
40.Star Trek Beyond (B-)
39.S.W.A.T. (B-)
38.The Addams Family (2019) (B-)
37.The Equalizer (B-)
36.Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (B)
35.Charlie's Angels (2019) (B)
34.Baywatch (B)
33.Wild Wild West (B)
32.The Green Hornet (B)
31.I-Spy (B)
30.Mission-Impossible (B)
29.Mission-Impossible: Rogue Nation (B)
28.Ali G Indahouse (B)
27.The Simpsons Movie (B)
26.The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (B)
25.Serenity (B)
24.The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (B)
23.Mission-Impossible III (B)
22.Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Colon Movie Film for Theaters (B)
21.Widows (B)
20.Entourage (B+)
19.Reno 911!: Miami (B+)
18.Starksy & Hutch (B+)
17.Get Smart (B+)
16.Power Rangers (B+)
15.The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (B+)
14.The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (B+)
13.The A-Team (B+)
12.Mission-Impossible: Ghost Protocol (B+)
11.The Naked Gun: From the Files of the Police Squad (B+)
10.Star Trek Into Darkness (B+)
9.Mission-Impossible: Fallout (B+)
8.South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (A-)
7.Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (A-)
6.Jackass 3-D (A)
5.Jackass: The Movie (A)
4.Jackass: Number Two (A)
3.21 Jump Street (A)
2.Star Trek (2009) (A)
1.22 Jump Street (A)
Top Dog: 22 Jump Street (2014)
The only thing that's more surreal than a manic, self-aware comedy that takes shots at cop shows/movies with consistently inspired, hilarious results getting a sequel is the fact that said sequel ended up being better than the original. The meta notes hit harder as the film spoofs the repetitive nature of sequels, the central buddy pairing (Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum) is even more in sync and the supporting cast (Ice Cube, Jillian Bell, Peter Stormare, Wyatt Russell, The Lucas Brothers) goes above and beyond to pull their comedic weight. Is this wildly successful formula enough to make it the greatest comedy sequel ever made? No question.
Lowlight: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas is the worst movie I saw in theaters as a kid and it's honestly not even particularly close. The level of garbage acting (Stephen Baldwin is so bad here that he probably cost Alec gigs for a few years), horrific jokes and eye-rolling cornball crap that occupies this debacle makes stuff like The Master of Disguise, Cats and Dogs and Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams look like revelatory pieces of cinema.
Most Underrated: The A-Team (2010)
In terms of sheer faithfulness to the source material, The A-Team is a runaway triumph. Everything that made The A-Team a small screen hit (the buddy camaraderie, playful tone, over-the-top action sequences) is present here while the greatly increased budget and decades worth of innovations in technology allowed the action to be bigger, louder and more satisfying than it ever was on the NBC airwaves. It suck that this ended up kind of bombing at the box office because there was potential for this morph into a really fun, long-running franchise.
Most Overrated: Star Trek Beyond (2016)
Now here's an instance where honoring the original vision didn't work for me. Star Trek Beyond jettisoned the Star Wars-esque epic tone that J.J. Abrams brought to the prior two entries in this leg of the franchise and brought back the stoic cheesiness that was synonymous with every iteration of the series. While this pivot back to the classic way of doing things delighted fans that viewed what Abrams did as sacrilege, the hammy overacting, melodramatic storytelling and flat one-liners just reminded of why I could never get into the OG Star Trek.
Greatest Beneficiary of the Movie Format: Jackass
This answer was a layup. As great as the Jackass crew's MTV series was, the lack of censorship that comes with the movie format allowed their stunts/pranks to reach new heights of vulgarity, insanity and hilarity.
Most Surprised I Was To Discover That A Movie Was Based on a TV Series: Widows (2018)
Widows came out roughly 18 months ago and I didn't know it was based on a TV series until I was doing my research for this piece yesterday. Even more shocking was finding out after reading the synopsis that Steve McQueen and Gillian Flynn's adaptation more or less just added some social commentary and melodrama to the core narrative arc of the series-which ran from 1983 to 1985 in England. While I have no intention of seeking the show out, hopefully it found a way to tell a tighter, more focused story than the movie did.
Property That's Begging for a Proper Movie: ALF
Given that the likes of Fantasy Island, The Mod Squad and McHale's Navy have all made their way to the silver screen, it's kind of stunning that ALF hasn't. A comedic project revolving around an alien that crash lands in the garage of an American family and almost immediately starts living with them has the potential to be hilarious. Hell, it could even work as a horror movie in the right hands, although the idea of a lighthearted comedy where the title character gets integrated into a human family is much more appealing to me than turning him into a murderer or some shit. To finish this off, here are some hypothetical castings combos that I thought of for the top 3 billed characters:
Eric Andre/Tiffany Haddish as The Tanners, Seth Rogen as ALF
Andy Samberg/Aubrey Plaza as The Tanners, Danny McBride as ALF
Chris Hemsworth/Issa Rae as The Tanners, Keegan Michael-Key as ALF
Pete Davidson/Billie Lourd as The Tanners, Nick Kroll as ALF
Randall Park/Ali Wong as The Tanners, Craig Robinson as ALF
Movie Adaptations of TV Shows Ranked:
Note#1 : This list excludes adaptations featuring characters from TV shows (MacGruber, Good Burger), shows based on properties that originated in other forms of media (Pokémon, The Muppets) or projects featuring groups that started on TV, but later went onto to do things that had nothing to do with the material from their TV series (Monty Python).
Note #2: Given the large volume of titles that fall under this umbrella, it's entirely possible that I missed some. If I do discover that I missed something, I'll promptly add it and acknowledge the mistake.
64.The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (F)
63.The Crocodile Hunter: Collison Course (D-)
62.Inspector Gadget (D-)
61.The Dukes of Hazzard (D-)
60.The Last Airbender (D)
59.McHale's Navy (D)
58.Scooby-Doo (D)
57.The Brady Bunch Movie (D+)
56.The Flintstones (D+)
55.George of the Jungle (D+)
54.The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (C-)
53.Fantasy Island (C-)
52.The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (C-)
51.Charlie's Angels (2000) (C)
50.The Addams Family (1991) (C)
49.The Equalizer 2 (C)
48.The Rugrats Movie (C)
47.Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (C)
46.Rugrats in Paris (C+)
45.Edge of Darkness (C+)
44.The Honeymooners (C+)
43.Teen Titans! Go to the Movies (B-)
42.CHiPs (B-)
41.State of Play (B-)
40.Star Trek Beyond (B-)
39.S.W.A.T. (B-)
38.The Addams Family (2019) (B-)
37.The Equalizer (B-)
36.Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (B)
35.Charlie's Angels (2019) (B)
34.Baywatch (B)
33.Wild Wild West (B)
32.The Green Hornet (B)
31.I-Spy (B)
30.Mission-Impossible (B)
29.Mission-Impossible: Rogue Nation (B)
28.Ali G Indahouse (B)
27.The Simpsons Movie (B)
26.The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (B)
25.Serenity (B)
24.The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (B)
23.Mission-Impossible III (B)
22.Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Colon Movie Film for Theaters (B)
21.Widows (B)
20.Entourage (B+)
19.Reno 911!: Miami (B+)
18.Starksy & Hutch (B+)
17.Get Smart (B+)
16.Power Rangers (B+)
15.The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (B+)
14.The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (B+)
13.The A-Team (B+)
12.Mission-Impossible: Ghost Protocol (B+)
11.The Naked Gun: From the Files of the Police Squad (B+)
10.Star Trek Into Darkness (B+)
9.Mission-Impossible: Fallout (B+)
8.South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (A-)
7.Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (A-)
6.Jackass 3-D (A)
5.Jackass: The Movie (A)
4.Jackass: Number Two (A)
3.21 Jump Street (A)
2.Star Trek (2009) (A)
1.22 Jump Street (A)
Top Dog: 22 Jump Street (2014)
The only thing that's more surreal than a manic, self-aware comedy that takes shots at cop shows/movies with consistently inspired, hilarious results getting a sequel is the fact that said sequel ended up being better than the original. The meta notes hit harder as the film spoofs the repetitive nature of sequels, the central buddy pairing (Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum) is even more in sync and the supporting cast (Ice Cube, Jillian Bell, Peter Stormare, Wyatt Russell, The Lucas Brothers) goes above and beyond to pull their comedic weight. Is this wildly successful formula enough to make it the greatest comedy sequel ever made? No question.
Lowlight: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas is the worst movie I saw in theaters as a kid and it's honestly not even particularly close. The level of garbage acting (Stephen Baldwin is so bad here that he probably cost Alec gigs for a few years), horrific jokes and eye-rolling cornball crap that occupies this debacle makes stuff like The Master of Disguise, Cats and Dogs and Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams look like revelatory pieces of cinema.
Most Underrated: The A-Team (2010)
In terms of sheer faithfulness to the source material, The A-Team is a runaway triumph. Everything that made The A-Team a small screen hit (the buddy camaraderie, playful tone, over-the-top action sequences) is present here while the greatly increased budget and decades worth of innovations in technology allowed the action to be bigger, louder and more satisfying than it ever was on the NBC airwaves. It suck that this ended up kind of bombing at the box office because there was potential for this morph into a really fun, long-running franchise.
Most Overrated: Star Trek Beyond (2016)
Now here's an instance where honoring the original vision didn't work for me. Star Trek Beyond jettisoned the Star Wars-esque epic tone that J.J. Abrams brought to the prior two entries in this leg of the franchise and brought back the stoic cheesiness that was synonymous with every iteration of the series. While this pivot back to the classic way of doing things delighted fans that viewed what Abrams did as sacrilege, the hammy overacting, melodramatic storytelling and flat one-liners just reminded of why I could never get into the OG Star Trek.
Greatest Beneficiary of the Movie Format: Jackass
This answer was a layup. As great as the Jackass crew's MTV series was, the lack of censorship that comes with the movie format allowed their stunts/pranks to reach new heights of vulgarity, insanity and hilarity.
Most Surprised I Was To Discover That A Movie Was Based on a TV Series: Widows (2018)
Widows came out roughly 18 months ago and I didn't know it was based on a TV series until I was doing my research for this piece yesterday. Even more shocking was finding out after reading the synopsis that Steve McQueen and Gillian Flynn's adaptation more or less just added some social commentary and melodrama to the core narrative arc of the series-which ran from 1983 to 1985 in England. While I have no intention of seeking the show out, hopefully it found a way to tell a tighter, more focused story than the movie did.
Property That's Begging for a Proper Movie: ALF
Given that the likes of Fantasy Island, The Mod Squad and McHale's Navy have all made their way to the silver screen, it's kind of stunning that ALF hasn't. A comedic project revolving around an alien that crash lands in the garage of an American family and almost immediately starts living with them has the potential to be hilarious. Hell, it could even work as a horror movie in the right hands, although the idea of a lighthearted comedy where the title character gets integrated into a human family is much more appealing to me than turning him into a murderer or some shit. To finish this off, here are some hypothetical castings combos that I thought of for the top 3 billed characters:
Eric Andre/Tiffany Haddish as The Tanners, Seth Rogen as ALF
Andy Samberg/Aubrey Plaza as The Tanners, Danny McBride as ALF
Chris Hemsworth/Issa Rae as The Tanners, Keegan Michael-Key as ALF
Pete Davidson/Billie Lourd as The Tanners, Nick Kroll as ALF
Randall Park/Ali Wong as The Tanners, Craig Robinson as ALF
Monday, July 13, 2020
2020 NFL Position Ranking Series: Full Recap
Quarterbacks:
25.Jameis Winston (Saints)
24.Kyler Murray (Cardinals)
23.Sam Darnold (Jets)
22.Josh Allen (Bills)
21.Baker Mayfield (Browns)
20.Nick Foles (Bears)
19.Teddy Bridgewater (Panthers)
18.Derek Carr (Raiders)
17.Jared Goff (Rams)
16.Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)
15.Ryan Tannehill (Titans)
14.Matthew Stafford (Lions)
13.Jimmy Garoppolo (49ers)
12.Phillip Rivers (Colts)
11.Carson Wentz (Eagles)
10.Kirk Cousins (Vikings)
9.Dak Prescott (Cowboys)
8.Matt Ryan (Falcons)
7.Lamar Jackson (Ravens)
6.Deshaun Watson (Texans)
5.Tom Brady (Buccaneers)
4.Drew Brees (Saints)
3.Aaron Rodgers (Packers)
2.Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)
1.Russell Wilson (Seahawks)
Running Backs:
50.Chris Thompson (Jaguars)
49.Royce Freeman (Broncos)
48.Justin Jackson (Chargers)
47.Tony Pollard (Cowboys)
46.Malcolm Brown (Rams)
45.Kerryon Johnson (Lions)
44.Rashaad Penny (Seahawks)
43.Jamaal Williams (Packers)
42.Frank Gore (Jets)
41.David Montgomery (Bears)
40.Ronald Jones (Buccaneers)
39.Tevin Coleman (49ers)
38.Latavius Murray (Saints)
37.Alexander Mattison (Vikings)
36.Gus Edwards (Ravens)
35.David Johnson (Texans)
34.Carlos Hyde (Seahawks)
33.Duke Johnson Jr. (Texans)
32.Adrian Peterson (Redskins)
31.Jordan Howard (Dolphins)
30.Devonta Freeman (Free Agent)
29.Sony Michel (Patriots)
28.Miles Sanders (Eagles)
27.Matt Brieda (Dolphins)
26.Tarik Cohen (Bears)
25.Damien Williams (Chiefs)
24.Raheem Mostert (49ers)
23.James White (Patriots)
22.Devin Singletary (Bills)
21.Le'Veon Bell (Jets)
20.James Conner (Steelers)
19.Todd Gurley (Falcons)
18.Kenyan Drake (Cardinals)
17.Phillip Lindsay (Broncos)
16.Marlon Mack (Colts)
15.Leonard Fournette (Jaguars)
14.Chris Carson (Seahawks)
13.Austin Ekeler (Chargers)
12.Mark Ingram (Ravens)
11.Melvin Gordon (Broncos)
10.Aaron Jones (Packers)
9.Joe Mixon (Bengals)
8.Dalvin Cook (Vikings)
7.Josh Jacobs (Raiders)
6.Nick Chubb (Browns)
5.Saquon Barkley (Giants)
4.Alvin Kamara (Saints)
3.Derrick Henry (Titans)
2.Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)
1.Christian McCaffery (Panthers)
Wide Receivers:
50.Christian Kirk (Cardinals)
49.Will Fuller (Texans)
48.Sterling Shepard (Giants)
47.Randall Cobb (Texans)
46.Cole Beasley (Bills)
45.Darius Slayton (Giants)
44.Marvin Jones Jr. (Lions)
43.Sammy Watkins (Chiefs)
42.Robby Anderson (Panthers)
41.Deebo Samuel (49ers)
40.D.K. Metcalf (Seahawks)
39.Jamison Crowder (Jets)
38.Golden Tate (Giants)
37.Alshon Jeffrey (Eagles)
36.Mike Williams (Chargers)
35.Emmanuel Sanders (Saints)
34.A.J. Green (Bengals)
33.Michael Gallup (Cowboys)
32.Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals)
31.D.J. Chark (Jaguars)
30.A.J. Brown (Titans)
29.Terry McLaurin (Redskins)
28.Calvin Ridley (Falcons)
27.Brandin Cooks (Texans)
26.Courtland Sutton (Broncos)
25.Tyler Boyd (Bengals)
24.D.J. Moore (Panthers)
23.DeVante Parker (Dolphins)
22.John Brown (Bills)
21.Robert Woods (Rams)
20.Julian Edelman (Patriots)
19.JuJu Smith-Schuster (Steelers)
18.Kenny Golladay (Lions)
17.Cooper Kupp (Rams)
16.Jarvis Landry (Browns)
15.Amari Cooper (Cowboys)
14.Allen Robinson (Bears)
13.Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)
12.Adam Thielen (Vikings)
11.T.Y. Hilton (Colts)
10.Stefon Diggs (Bills)
9.Davante Adams (Packers)
8.Odell Beckham Jr. (Browns)
7.Keenan Allen (Chargers)
6.Tyreek Hill (Chiefs)
5.Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)
4.Mike Evans (Buccaneers)
3.Julio Jones (Falcons)
2.DeAndre Hopkins (Cardinals)
1.Michel Thomas (Saints)
Tight Ends:
20.Jacob Hollister (Seahawks)
19.Hayden Hurst (Falcons)
18.Jonnu Smith (Titans)
17.Jack Doyle (Colts)
16.O.J. Howard (Buccaneers)
15.Greg Olsen (Seahawks)
14.Gerald Everett (Rams)
13.Eric Ebron (Steelers)
12.Kyle Rudolph (Vikings)
11.Evan Engram (Giants)
10.Dallas Goedert (Eagles)
9.Tyler Higbee (Rams)
8.Hunter Henry (Chargers)
7.Jared Cook (Saints)
6.Darren Waller (Raiders)
5.Austin Hooper (Browns)
4.Mark Andrews (Ravens)
3.Zach Ertz (Eagles)
2.Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
1.George Kittle (49ers)
Tackles:
30.Russell Okung (Panthers)
29.Marcus Cannon (Patriots)
28.Trent Brown (Raiders)
27.Riley Rieff (Vikings)
26.Charles Leno Jr. (Bears)
25.Dion Dawkins (Bills)
24.Matt Feiler (Steelers)
23.Garrett Bolles (Broncos)
22.Taylor Decker (Lions)
21.Taylor Moton (Panthers)
20.Braden Smith (Colts)
19.Laremy Tunsil (Texans)
18.La'el Collins (Cowboys)
17.Trent Williams (49ers)
16.Taylor Lewan (Titans)
15.Bryan Bulaga (Chargers)
14.Duane Brown (Seahawks)
13.Alejandro Villanueva (Steelers)
12.Jack Conklin (Browns)
11.Andrew Whitworth (Rams)
10.Jason Peters (Free Agent)
9.Jake Matthews (Falcons)
8.Anthony Castonzo (Colts)
7.Tyron Smith (Cowboys)
6.Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)
5.Terron Armstead (Saints)
4.Mitchell Schwartz (Chiefs)
3.Ryan Ramcyzk (Saints)
2.Lane Johnson (Eagles)
1.David Bakhtiari (Packers)
Guards:
30.Joe Dahl (Lions)
29.Dalton Risner (Broncos)
28.Austin Blythe (Rams)
27.Greg Van Roten (Jets)
26.Laurent DuVernay-Tardif (Chiefs)
25.Justin Pugh (Cardinals)
24.Will Hernandez (Giants)
23.Billy Turner (Packers)
22.Andrew Wylie (Chiefs)
21.Mark Glowinski (Colts)
20.James Daniels (Bears)
19.Elgton Jenkins (Packers)
18.Trai Turner (Chargers)
17.Graham Glasgow (Broncos)
16.Gabe Jackson (Raiders)
15.Andrew Norwell (Jaguars)
14.Larry Warford (Free Agent)
13.Isaac Seumalo (Eagles)
12.Rodger Saffold (Titans)
11.Richie Incognito (Raiders)
10.Ali Marpet (Buccaneers)
9.Brandon Scherff (Redskins)
8.Joel Bitonio (Browns)
7.Shaq Mason (Patriots)
6.Kevin Zeitler (Giants)
5.David DeCastro (Steelers)
4.Joe Thuney (Patriots)
3.Brandon Brooks (Eagles)
2.Quenton Nelson (Colts)
1.Zach Martin (Cowboys)
Centers:
20.Ted Karras (Dolphins)
19.Nick Martin (Texans)
18.Matt Skura (Ravens)
17.Frank Ragnow (Lions)
16.Chase Roullier (Redskins)
15.Mitch Morse (Bills)
14.Connor McGovern (Jets)
13.Cody Whitehair (Bears)
12.Erik McCoy (Saints)
11.Ryan Jensen (Buccaneers)
10.Matt Paradis (Panthers)
9.Ryan Kelly (Colts)
8.David Andrews (Patriots)
7.Corey Linsley (Packers)
6.J.C. Tretter (Browns)
5.Ben Jones (Titans)
4.Brandon Linder (Jaguars)
3.Alex Mack (Falcons)
2.Rodney Hudson (Raiders)
1.Jason Kelce (Eagles)
Defensive Ends:
35.Maxx Crosby (Raiders)
34.Derek Wolfe (Ravens)
33.Josh Allen (Jaguars)
32.William Gholston (Buccaneers)
31.John Simon (Patriots)
30.Ryan Kerrigan (Redskins)
29.Shaq Lawson (Dolphins)
28.Dexter Lawrence (Giants)
27.Michael Brockers (Rams)
26.Stephon Tuitt (Steelers)
25.Marcus Davenport (Saints)
24.Frank Clark (Chiefs)
23.Ndamukong Suh (Buccaneers)
22.Everson Griffen (Free Agent)
21.Leonard Williams (Giants)
20.Dante Fowler Jr. (Falcons)
19.Yannick Ngakoue (Jaguars)
18.Melvin Ingram (Chargers)
17.Nick Bosa (49ers)
16.Jerry Hughes (Bills)
15.Jurrell Casey (Broncos)
14.Jadeveon Clowney (Free Agent)
13.Olivier Vernon (Browns)
12.Carlos Dunlap (Bengals)
11.Justin Houston (Colts)
10.Myles Garrett (Browns)
9.Trey Flowers (Lions)
8.Danielle Hunter (Vikings)
7.Cameron Heyward (Steelers)
6.DeMarcus Lawrence (Cowboys)
5.Joey Bosa (Chargers)
4.J.J. Watt (Texans)
3.Brandon Graham (Eagles)
2.Calias Campbell (Ravens)
1.Cameron Jordan (Saints)
Defensive Tackles:
35.Ed Oliver (Bills)
34.Sheldon Rankins (Saints)
33.Poona Ford (Seahawks)
32.Andrew Billings (Browns)
31.Denico Autry (Colts)
30.Dontari Poe (Cowboys)
29.Taven Bryan (Jaguars)
28.Maurice Hurst (Raiders)
27.Danny Shelton (Lions)
26.Brandon Williams (Ravens)
25.Michael Pierce (Vikings)
24.Mike Pennel (Chiefs)
23.Steve McClendon (Jets)
22.Dalvin Tomlinson (Giants)
21.DaQuan Jones (Titans)
20.Eddie Goldman (Bears)
19.Lawrence Guy (Patriots)
18.Linval Joseph (Chargers)
17.Vita Vea (Buccaneers)
16.Damon Harrison (Free Agent)
15.Gerald McCoy (Cowboys)
14.Sheldon Richardson (Browns)
13.Shelby Harris (Broncos)
12.D.J. Reader (Bengals)
11.Javon Hargrave (Eagles)
10.Kawann Short (Panthers)
9.Arik Armstead (49ers)
8.Geno Atkins (Bengals)
7.Kenny Clark (Packers)
6.DeForest Buckner (Colts)
5.Akiem Hicks (Bears)
4.Grady Jarrett (Falcons)
3.Chris Jones (Chiefs)
2.Fletcher Cox (Eagles)
1.Aaron Donald (Rams)
Outside Linebackers:
35.Bruce Irvin (Seahawks)
34.Thomas Davis (Redskins)
33.Cameron Wake (Free Agent)
32.Kyler Fackrell (Giants)
31.Kamalei Correa (Titans)
30.Myles Jack (Jaguars)
29.Jordan Jenkins (Jets)
28.Harold Landry (Titans)
27.Devon Kennard (Cardinals)
26.Lorenzo Carter (Giants)
25.Tyus Bowser (Ravens)
24.Emmanuel Ogbah (Dolphins)
23.Whitney Mercilus (Texans)
22.Leonard Floyd (Rams)
21.Robert Quinn (Bears)
20.Shaq Thompson (Panthers)
19.Matt Milano (Bills)
18.Bobby Okereke (Colts)
17.K.J. Wright (Seahawks)
16.Anthony Barr (Vikings)
15.Leighton Vander Esch (Cowboys)
14.Matthew Judon (Ravens)
13.Jamie Collins (Lions)
12.Bud Dupree (Steelers)
11.Jason Pierre-Paul (Buccaneers)
10.Preston Smith (Packers)
9.Shaq Barrett (Buccaneers)
8.Darius Leonard (Colts)
7.Kyle Van Noy (Dolphins)
6.Za'Darius Smith (Packers)
5.Dee Ford (49ers)
4.T.J. Watt (Steelers)
3.Chandler Jones (Cardinals)
2.Von Miller (Broncos)
1.Khalil Mack (Bears)
Inside Linebackers:
25.David Mayo (Giants)
24.Kwon Alexander (49ers)
23.Fred Warner (49ers)
22.Vince Williams (Steelers)
21.Avery Williamson (Jets)
20.Josh Bynes (Bengals)
19.Blake Martinez (Giants)
18.Danny Trevathan (Bears)
17.Todd Davis (Broncos)
16.Nick Kwiatkowski (Raiders)
15.Joe Schobert (Jaguars)
14.A.J. Johnson (Broncos)
13.Jordan Hicks (Cardinals)
12.Zach Cunningham (Texans)
11.Jayon Brown (Titans)
10.Dont'a Hightower (Patriots)
9.Benardrick McKinney (Texans)
8.C.J. Mosley (Jets)
7.Corey Littleton (Raiders)
6.Jaylon Smith (Cowboys)
5.Deion Jones (Falcons)
4.Eric Kendricks (Vikings)
3.Demario Davis (Saints)
2.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)
1.Bobby Wagner (Seahawks)
Cornerbacks:
50.Jourdan Lewis (Cowboys)
49.Kevin Johnson (Browns)
48.Brandon Carr (Free Agent)
47.Xavier Rhodes (Colts)
46.Trae Waynes (Bengals)
45.Jamel Dean (Buccaneers)
44.William Jackson III (Bengals)
43.James Bradberry (Giants)
42.Bryce Callahan (Broncos)
41.Bradley Roby (Texans)
40.Jonathan Joseph (Titans)
39.Prince Amukamara (Raiders)
38.Malcolm Butler (Titans)
37.Mike Hilton (Steelers)
36.Carlton Davis (Buccaneers)
35.Charvarius Ward (Chiefs)
34.Jonathan Jones (Patriots)
33.K'Wuan Williams (49ers)
32.Chidobe Auwuzie (Cowboys)
31.Desmond Trufant (Lions)
30.Troy Hill (Rams)
29.D.J. Hayden (Jaguars)
28.Xavien Howard (Dolphins)
27.A.J. Bouye (Broncos)
26.Joe Haden (Steelers)
25.Janoris Jenkins (Saints)
24.Denzel Ward (Browns)
23.Kenny Moore (Colts)
22.Shaq Griffin (Seahawks)
21.Adoree' Jackson (Titans)
20.Jaire Alexander (Packers)
19.Nickell Robey-Coleman (Eagles)
18.Brian Poole (Jets)
17.Kyle Fuller (Bears)
16.Quinton Dunbar (Seahawks)
15.Jason McCourty (Patriots)
14.Desmond King (Chargers)
13.Marlon Humphrey (Ravens)
12.Darius Slay (Eagles)
11.Patrick Peterson (Cardinals)
10.Marshon Lattimore (Saints)
9.Jalen Ramsey (Rams)
8.Tre'Davious White (Bills)
7.Steven Nelson (Steelers)
6.Chris Harris Jr. (Chargers)
5.Byron Jones (Dolphins)
4.Marcus Peters (Ravens)
3.Richard Sherman (49ers)
2.Casey Hayward (Chargers)
1.Stephon Gilmore (Patriots)
Safeties:
50.Tashaun Gibson (Bears)
49.Terrell Edmunds (Steelers)
48.Patrick Chung (Patriots)
47.Jessie Bates (Bengals)
46.Reshad Jones (Free Agent)
45.Andrew Sendejo (Browns)
44.Kenny Vaccaro (Titans)
43.Vonn Bell (Bengals)
42.Khari Willis (Colts)
41.Bradley McDougald (Seahawks)
40.Darnell Savage (Packers)
39.Juan Thornhill (Chiefs)
38.Jarrod Wilson (Jaguars)
37.Rodney McLeod (Eagles)
36.Jaquiski Tartt (49ers)
35.Jeff Heath (Raiders)
34.Budda Baker (Cardinals)
33.Damarious Randall (Raiders)
32.Chuck Clark (Ravens)
31.Malik Hooker (Colts)
30.Duron Harmon (Lions)
29.Xavier Woods (Cowboys)
28.Karl Joseph (Browns)
27.Jimmie Ward (49ers)
26.Jabril Peppers (Giants)
25.Tracy Walker (Lions)
24.Justin Reid (Texans)
23.Haha Clinton-Dix (Cowboys)
22.Quandre Diggs (Seahawks)
21.John Johnson III (Rams)
20.Malcolm Jenkins (Saints)
19.Landon Collins (Redskins)
18.Marcus Maye (Jets)
18.Marcus Maye (Jets)
17.Jordan Poyer (Bills)
16.Tre Boston (Panthers)
15.Minkah Fitzpatrick (Steelers)
14.Anthony Harris (Vikings)
13.Justin Simmons (Broncos)
12.Kareem Jackson (Broncos)
11.Adrian Amos (Packers)
10.Derwin James (Chargers)
9.Marcus Williams (Saints)
8.Micah Hyde (Bills)
7.Eddie Jackson (Bears)
6.Earl Thomas (Ravens)
5.Devin McCourty (Patriots)
4.Tyrann Mathieu (Chiefs)
3.Jamal Adams (Jets)
2.Kevin Byard (Titans)
1.Harrison Smith (Vikings)
Kickers:
20.Eddy Pineiro (Bears)
19.Michael Badgley (Chargers)
18.Brandon McManus (Broncos)
17.Jason Myers (Seahawks)
16.Randy Bullock (Bengals)
15.Younghoe Koo (Falcons)
14.Kai'mi Fairbairn (Texans)
13.Jake Elliott (Eagles)
12.Dustin Hopkins (Redskins)
11.Dan Bailey (Vikings)
10.Matt Prater (Lions)
9.Mason Crosby (Packers)
8.Robbie Gould (49ers)
7.Greg Zuerlein (Cowboys)
6.Chris Boswell (Steelers)
5.Zane Gonzalez (Cardinals)
4.Harrison Butker (Chiefs)
3.Will Lutz (Saints)
2.Josh Lambo (Jaguars)
1.Justin Tucker (Ravens)
Punters:
20.A.J. Cole (Raiders)
19.Jordan Berry (Steelers)
18.Michael Dickson (Seahawks)
17.Britton Colquitt (Vikings)
16.Kevin Huber (Bengals)
15.Sam Martin (Lions)
14.Jamie Gillian (Browns)
13.Lac Edwards (Free Agent)
12.Michael Parlardy (Panthers)
11.Ty Long (Chargers)
10.Bryan Anger (Texans)
9.Logan Cooke (Jaguars)
8.Riley Dixon (Giants)
7.Cameron Johnston (Eagles)
6.Sam Koch (Ravens)
5.Thomas Morstead (Saints)
4.Andy Lee (Cardinals)
3.Tress Way (Redskins)
2.Brett Kern (Titans)
1.Johnny Hekker (Rams)
Top 10 Appearances by Team (Most to Least):
Top 10 Appearances by Team (Most to Least):
New Orleans Saints-12 (Terron Armstead,
Drew Brees, Jared Cook, Demario Davis, Cameron Jordan, Alvin Kamara,
Marshon Lattimore, Will Lutz, Thomas Morstead, Ryan Ramcyzk, Michael
Thomas, Marcus Williams)
Green Bay Packers-9 (Davante Adams,
David Bakhtiari, Kenny Clark, Mason Crosby, Aaron Jones, Corey
Linsley, Aaron Rodgers, Preston Smith, Za'Darius Smith)
Philadelphia Eagles-8 (Brandon Brooks,
Fletcher Cox, Zach Ertz, Dallas Goedert, Brandon Graham, Lane
Johnson, Cameron Johnston, Jason Kelce)
Baltimore Ravens-8 (Mark Andrews,
Calias Campbell, Lamar Jackson, Sam Koch, Marcus Peters, Ronnie
Stanley, Earl Thomas, Justin Tucker)
Kansas City Chiefs-7 (Harrison
Butker,Tyreek Hill, Chris Jones, Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes,
Tyrann Mathieu, Mitchell Schwartz)
Dallas Cowboys-7 (Ezekiel Elliott,
DeMarcus Lawrence, Zach Martin, Dak Prescott, Jaylon Smith, Tyron
Smith, Greg Zuerlein)
Cleveland Browns-6 (Odell Beckham Jr.,
Joel Bitonio, Nick Chubb, Myles Garrett, Austin Hooper, J.C. Tretter)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers-6 (Shaq Barrett,
Tom Brady, Lavonte David, Mike Evans, Chris Godwin, Ali Marpet)
Los Angeles Chargers-6 (Keenan Allen,
Joey Bosa, Chris Harris Jr., Casey Hayward, Hunter Henry, Derwin
James)
Atlanta Falcons-6 (Grady Jarrett, Deion
Jones, Julio Jones, Alex Mack, Jake Matthews, Matt Ryan)
New England Patriots-6 (David Andrews,
Stephon Gilmore, Dont'a Hightower, Shaq Mason, Devin McCourty, Joe
Thuney)
Indianapolis Colts-5 (DeForest Buckner,
Anthony Castonzo, Ryan Kelly, Darius Leonard, Quenton Nelson)
San Francisco 49ers-5 (Arik Armstead,
Dee Ford, Robbie Gould, George Kittle, Richard Sherman)
Minnesota Vikings-5 (Dalvin Cook, Kirk
Cousins, Danielle Hunter, Eric Kendricks, Harrison Smith)
Pittsburgh Steelers-5 (Chris Boswell,
David DeCastro, Cameron Heyward, Steven Nelson, T.J. Watt)
Arizona Cardinals-4 (Zane Gonzalez,
DeAndre Hopkins, Andy Lee, Chandler Jones)
Las Vegas Raiders-4 (Rodney Hudson,
Josh Jacobs, Corey Littleton, Darren Waller)
Los Angeles Rams-4 (Aaron Donald,
Johnny Hekker, Tyler Higbee, Jalen Ramsey)
Houston Texans-4 (Bryan Anger,
Benardrick McKinney, Deshaun Watson, J.J. Watt)
Tennessee Titans-4 (Kevin Byard,
Derrick Henry, Ben Jones, Brett Kern)
Chicago Bears-3 (Akiem Hicks, Eddie
Jackson, Khalil Mack)
Buffalo Bills-3 (Stefon Diggs, Micah
Hyde, Tre'Davious White)
New York Giants-3 (Saquon Barkley,
Riley Dixon, Kevin Zeitler)
Jacksonville Jaguars-3 (Logan Cooke,
Josh Lambo, Brandon Linder)
Carolina Panthers-3 (Christian
McCaffery, Matt Paradis, Kawann Short)
Cincinnati Bengals-2 (Geno Atkins, Joe
Mixon)
Miami Dolphins-2 (Byron Jones, Kyle Van
Noy)
New York Jets-2 (Jamal Adams, C.J.
Mosley)
Detroit Lions-2 (Trey Flowers, Matt
Prater)
Washington Redskins-2 (Brandon Scherff,
Tress Way)
Seattle Seahawks-2 (Bobby Wagner,
Russell Wilson)
Denver Broncos-1 (Von Miller)
Free Agent-1 (Jason Peters)
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