Wednesday, August 31, 2022

10 Most Anticipated Albums of Fall 2022

10.Clutch-Sunrise on Slaughter Beach (Release Date: September 16)

9.Counterparts-A Eulogy for Those Still Here (Release Date: October 7)

8.End & Cult Leader-Gather & Mourn EP (Release Date: September 9)

7.Slipknot-The End, So Far (Release Date: September 30)

6.The Mars Volta-The Mars Volta (Release Date: September 16)

5.Fallujah-Empyrean (Release Date: September 9)

4.Rina Sawayama-Hold the Girl (Release Date: September 16)   

3.Revocation- Netherheaven (Release Date: September 9)

2.Tove Lo-Dirt Femme (Release Date: October 14)

1.Tallah-The Generation of Danger (Release Date: November 18)

Also Planning on Listening to:

The Callous Daoboys-Celebrity Therapist (Release Date: September 2) 

Megadeth-The Sick, The Dying... And The Dead! (Release Date: September 2)

Parkway Drive-Darker Still (Release Date: September 9)

Stray from the Path-Euthanasia (Release Date: September 9)

Behemoth-Opvs Contra Natvram (Release Date: September 16)

Destrage-SO MUCH. too much (Release Date: September 16)

Goatwhore-Angels Hung from the Arches of Heaven (Release Date: September 16)

The Wonder Years-The Hum Goes on Forever (Release Date: September 23)

Dropkick Murphys-This Machine Still Kills Fascists (Release Date: September 30)

Kid Cudi-Entergalatic (Release Date: September 30)

Lamb of God-Omens (Release Date: October 7)

Carly Rae Jepsen-The Loneliest Time (Release Date: October 21)

Exhumed-To the Dead (Release Date: October 21)

Taylor Swift-Midnights (Release Date: October 21)

Dr.Acula-Dr. Acula (Release Date: October 28)

Joji-Smithereens (Release Date: November 4)

In Flames-TBD (Release Date: TBD)

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

10 Most Anticipated Movies of Fall 2022

The start of 2022's final act is within striking distance and at the 2/3 point, the world of cinema should feel really good at what they've put into the world over the past 8 months. So, what do they have in store for their grand finale? How about a loaded slate that features everything to powerful fact-based stories (She Said, Till. Devotion) that exposes the masses to pieces of history that aren't as well-known as they should be to blockbuster spectacle (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Avatar: The Way of WaterBlack Adam) that will send people flocking to IMAX and Dolby screens across the country. A lineup that includes some original horror stories being backed by major studios (Smile, Barbarian, The Menu), acclaimed works of international cinema that are finally hitting US shores (Decision to Leave, Broker. Corsage) and old school star vehicles (Ticket to Paradise, Amsterdam). And of course, it wouldn't be fall without a slew of potential awards contenders from some of the industry's most celebrated directors (The Fabelmans, Empire of Light, Babylon, Bardo, a Chronicle of Hard Truths, Bones & All) arriving in theaters and on streaming platforms. Here are the 10 movies from this massive, versatile slate I'm most looking forward to seeing from September-December.

10.Barbarian (September 9):

Buzz surrounding this one has been steadily building since it screened at Comic Con at the end of July. Its wildly unexpected narrative twists and self-aware campy tone have many people hailing as the 2022 answer to Malignant-which ironically was released on the exact same weekend last year. While comparing anything to the singular B-movie insanity of Malignant feels misguided, I'm excited to see just how nutty Barbarian is.

9.The Son (November 11):

French playwright Florian Zeller transitioned from stage to screen beautifully with the devastatingly authentic psychological family drama The Father-which is based on a play he wrote-that saw Anthony Hopkins win his 2nd Oscar for his heartbreaking portrayal of a man battling dementia. With another unique dramatic hook (a man who started a new life with a younger woman following a divorce has to reckon with past parenting mistakes when his 17-year old son from his previous marriage suddenly comes to live with him, his new wife and their infant child) and an even stronger ensemble cast (Hugh Jackman, Vanessa Kirby, Laura Dern, Hopkins) than he had on The Father, Zeller's 2nd cinematic adaptation of one of his own plays has a good chance of at least matching the effectiveness of his 1st.  

8.Pearl (September 16):

Ti West surprised a lot of people following the South by Southwest premiere of X in March when he revealed that he had secretly shot a prequel that provided an origin story for the film's elderly killer Pearl (Mia Goth). A mere 5 months after X was released, Pearl is arriving in theaters-which is great news for those of us who came away impressed by West's unique slasher vision. Hopping back into this sleazy, darkly funny world should provide much more insight into what exactly sent Pearl down the path of mass murder and Goth with another opportunity to provide an outstanding performance that blends sympathy with sadistic evil.

7.Violent Night (December 2):

"Santa Claus spends Christmas Eve fighting mercenaries that are holding a rich family hostage" just might be the single best logline I've read in 2022. The fact that this action thriller is produced by David Leitch, directed by Norwegian B-movie director Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow series, What Happened to Monday?), stunt coordinated/2nd unit directed by Jonathan Eusebio (John Wick 1-3, Deadpool 2) and features David Harbour as the ass-kicking Santa only adds to the intrigue around this potential new cult holiday classic.  

6.The Banshees of Insiherin (October 21):

Could a reunion with In Bruges stars Colin Farrell and Brendan Glesson be the remedy Martin McDonagh needs to get back on track after the release of the thoroughly underwhelming, tackily melodramatic Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri? All of the early indicators say yes. The story surrounding two lifelong friends in a small Irish town who get into a heated rivalry when one of them (Glesson) decides to suddenly end the friendship appears to be right in McDonagh's dark comedy wheelhouse and from the footage in the trailer, the chemistry between Farrell and Glesson looks just as electric as it was in 2008. 

5.Amsterdam (October 7):

David O. Russell's nearly 7-year filmmaking hiatus has finally come to a close and to celebrate, he assembled what just might be his splashiest ensemble cast (Christian Bale, Margot Robbie, John David Washington, Robert de Niro, Chris Rock, Anya Taylor-Joy, Zoe Saldana, Rami Malek, Mike Myers, Michael Shannon, Timothy Olyphant, Taylor Swift, Alessandro Nivola, Andrea Risenborough, Matthias Schoenaerts) to date for the period mystery Amsterdam. There appears to be some kind of conspiracy angle to the story that could makes things overly convoluted, but everything from the dialogue to the acting to the visuals looks to be peak Russell.

4.Don't Worry Darling (September 23):

Olivia Wilde deserves some serious shit for lying about firing Shia LaBeouf and sending him a video begging him to return after quitting despite star Florence Pugh being uncomfortable working with him. Wilde's contradictory public actions and the fallout from them aside, I'm still really looking forward to seeing this movie. Both trailers have been incredible, the cast is loaded (Chris Pine, Gemma Chan, Kiki Layne, Nick Kroll, Timothy Simons, Kate Berlant, Harry Styles and Wilde herself co-star alongside Pugh) and the cinematography from Matthew Libatique (A Star is Born, Black Swan) looks stunning.

3.The Whale (December 9):  

Anytime Darren Aronofsky puts out a movie is a reason to celebrate, but an even bigger reason to get excited about The Whale is what could it represent for Brendan Fraser's career. This man has been through so much hardship in his personal and professional life over the past 20 years and a small drama that's anchored by him could provide the momentum he needs to launch a full-blown comeback. Since he's already earned an award for the performance (the Toronto Film Festival Tribute Award-which is the same honor that Jessica Chastain earned last year ahead of her Oscar win for The Eyes of Tammy Faye), there's a great chance that this film will do just that, which makes me delighted for him and even more excited to see this movie.

2.Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (TBD theaters/December 23 streaming):

2022 has mostly been a year to forget for Netflix, but a much-needed triumphant closing note could be on the horizon with Glass Onion. The sequel to the terrific 2019 whodunit sees Detective Benoit Blanc (a returning Daniel Craig) heading to Greece to solve a murder that takes place at a lavish private island getaway hosted by a tech billionaire (Edward Norton). With Rian Johnson also returning as writer/director, a steady presence on the fall festival circuit and a charismatic ensemble of new suspects/victims (Kathryn Hahn, Dave Bautista, Janelle Monae, Leslie Odom Jr., Kate Hudson, Jessica Henwick, Madelyn Cline, Ethan Hawke, the aforementioned Norton), Benoit Blanc's status as the 21st century's Hercule Poirot could very well be solidified. 

1.Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (November 11):

Boy oh boy did the Wakanda Forever teaser trailer make me feel silly for having any doubts about Ryan Coogler's ability to successfully rework the Black Panther franchise following the death of star Chadwick Boseman. In those 2 minutes of effectively dialogue-free footage, it appears that Coogler constructed a beautiful, emotional tribute to Boseman/T'Challa while also further exploring the world of Wakanda and the people that help run and protect this powerful nation. If that is indeed what ends up sitting at the core of Wakanda Forever, it's going to be really special.  

Also Plan on Seeing:

Honk for Jesus, Save Your Soul (September 2)

God's Country (September 16)

See How They Run (September 16)

The Woman King (September 16)

Bros (September 30)

Smile (September 30)

God's Creatures (September 30)

The Redeem Team (October 7)

Tar (October 7)

Triangle of Sadness (October 7)

Decision to Leave (October 14)

Halloween Ends (October 14)

Till (October 14)

The Good Nurse (October 19 theaters/October 26 streaming)

Black Adam (October 21)

Ticket to Paradise (October 21)

Wendell & Wild (October 21 theaters/October 28 streaming)

Armageddon Time (October 28)

Call Jane (October 28)

Run Sweetheart Run (October 28)

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (November 4)

The Fabelmans (November 11)

The Inspection (November 18)

The Menu (November 18)

She Said (November 18)

Bones & All (November 23)

Devotion (November 23)

Nanny (November 23 theaters/December 16 streaming)

Strange World (November 23)

White Noise (November 25 theaters/December 30 streaming)

Marlowe (December 2)

Women Talking (December 2)

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (TBD theaters/December 9 streaming)

Empire of Light (December 9)

House Party (December 9)

The Pale Blue Eye (December 23)

Babylon (December 25)

The Wonder (TBD November theaters/TBD December)

Causeway (TBD)

Monday, August 29, 2022

Quick Movie Reviews: Beast, Samaritan, Me Time

Beast: The simple pleasures of a man vs. beast movie have returned to the big screen with the appropriately titled Beast. Save for the titular creature being a lion and some outstanding cinematography from Phillippe Rousselot that uses a very active camera and frequent long takes to build suspense and capture the beautiful landscapes of the South African wilderness, Beast pretty strictly adheres to the genre playbook. Beast's familiarity doesn't ultimately matter much such since veteran director Baltasar Kormakur (2 Guns, Everest) utilizes it so well. By making the melodramatic story filler as painless as possible by giving Idris Elba the space to inject as much emotional weight as possible into these soapy scenes about a man desperately trying to reconnect with his daughters (Iyana Halley, Leah Sava Jeffries) after the death of their mother/his ex-wife and never letting these scenes overpower the main attraction of seeing a pissed off lion trying to snack on some humans, Kormakur is able to make a tight, suspense-filled project that has the perfect amount of dramatic juice to fill 93 minutes of screentime. Beast is an efficient popcorn thrill ride that provides a different type of classical entertainment than a lot of other films that were released in the past few months, making it the ideal modest sendoff for a pretty terrific summer movie season.      

Grade: B

Samaritan: There's a lot of untapped potential sitting inside the grounded superhero saga Samaritan that could've been worked into something really special if it were executed with more care. As it works its way through its primary story of a 13-year-old boy (Javon Walton aka Ashtray from Euphoria) who swears a superhero who's believed to have been missing for 25 years (Sylvester Stallone) has just moved into the apartment building across from where he lives, it takes some unexpected detours that grapple with the humanity behind the heroes and the people they've sworn to protect. There are moments where it touches on the gray areas of morality that make heroism and villainy concepts that have to be interpreted through the eyes of the beholder, how average citizens convince themselves that a hero will return and save the day in an attempt to provide them with some comfort to help them power through a challenging moment and the immense loneliness that exists within a person that's widely beloved and mythologized by the public, but has nobody in their lives that loves them for who they truly are.

However, an underdeveloped, unfocused script from Bragi F. Schut-who co-wrote the graphic novel the film is based on and uncharacteristically flat direction from Julius Avery ensure that these themes aren't explored with the depth or delicacy they needed to make a real impact. While the intrigue of these ideas along with the solid performances from Stallone, Walton and Pilou Asbaek as the primary antagonist keep things from completely falling apart, this is a disheartening missed opportunity to create something special in a genre that would greatly benefit from the presence of more subversive, unique films.

Grade: B-

Me Time: On this edition of "Netflix revives an old Hollywood staple", the streaming giant brought back the megastar R-rated buddy comedy with Me Time. Step back into the good old days of 2007 for this hijinkathon centered around a straightlaced family man (Hart) who reluctantly agrees to let loose for the first time in ages with his hard-partying bachelor best friend (Wahlberg) while his wife (Regina Hall) is on vacation with their kids. Property gets destroyed. People get physically, financially and emotionally hurt. Both men learn valuable lessons in the closing minutes and everybody ends up being just alright in the end. 

Me Time is a stupid little movie full of predictable punchlines that manages to commit the ridiculous sin of casting Hall in a stoic supporting role that completely buries her comedic chops, but I'd be lying if I said that the majority of the bits didn't get some laughs out of me (particularly the break-in and monster truck scenes) and I wasn't engaged throughout. These types of movies have a certain carefree, effortless charm to them that I've always respected, and I miss the days where studios pumped out a handful of them every year. If that sweet sweet viewer watch data strikes the right notes with Netflix corporate, this old Hollywood staple could end up becoming a new fixture on the service.  

Grade: B-

Friday, August 26, 2022

Kevin Hart Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked": a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Kevin Hart-whose latest project "Me Time" is now streaming on Netflix.  

Kevin Hart's Filmography Ranked:

31.Epic Movie (F)

30.Fool's Gold (D)

29.Soul Plane (D)

28.Little Fockers (C)

27.Ride Along 2 (C)

26.Meet Dave (C)

25.The Secret Life of Pets (C)

24.Get Hard (C+)

23.The Man from Toronto (C+)

22.Night School (C+)

21.Ride Along (B-)

20.About Last Night (B-)

19.Scary Movie 4 (B-)

18.Fatherhood (B-)

17.Grudge Match (B-)

16.Scary Movie 3 (B)

15.Kevin Hart: What Now? (B)

14.The Five-Year Engagement (B)

13.Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (B)

12.The Upside (B)

11.Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (B+)

10.Central Intelligence (B+)

9.Along Came Polly (B+)

8.Death at a Funeral (B+)

7.The Wedding Ringer (B+)

6.Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain (A-)

5.Hobbs & Shaw (A-)

4.Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (A-)

3.Jumanji: The Next Level (A-)

2.Top Five (A)

1.This is the End (A)

Top Dog: This is the End (2013)

Until Game Night came along out of nowhere in 2018, This is the End felt like it was going to be the final film of its kind. A real-life major movie studio (Sony) handed Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg $20-30 million dollars and let them make an unrelentingly dark, wildly unpredictable ensemble comedy that shits all over the Hollywood machine. As nutty as its existence was at the time, that shit sounds like a full-blown fantasy scenario in the current climate. Seeing this comic masterpiece in a packed, engaged theater on back-to-back nights during its opening weekend was a god damn 100/10 dopamine rush that I wish could experience again with this or any other movie.

Bottom Feeder: Epic Movie (2007)

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer were somehow able to parlay whatever contributions they made to the original Scary Movie script into a string of poorly received spoof movies that managed to last for a full half-decade until the Fox executives stopped cutting them checks for good after 2010's Vampires Suck fell flat at the box office. As someone who willingly sat through the initial trio of films they made during this time, I firmly believe that Epic Movie sits alone atop the throne of garbage they released into the world. 

As wretched as Date Movie and Meet the Spartans were, they did contain a few brief moments where something slightly-to-moderately amusing appeared on screen. The same cannot be said about Epic Movie. There's so much hopelessness and despair bubbling just underneath the aggressively goofy parody surface of Epic Movie that it really should be considered a tragedy. It was actually kind of heartbreaking to watch capable actors such as Kal Penn and Crispin Glover and some of the most reliably hilarious comics/improvisers to ever appear on screen in Jennifer Coolidge and Fred Willard be reduced to starring in something that treats comedy with the same reverence that most humans show ants that crawl into their living room. May future generations be blessed with the privilege of never learning that such an insultingly putrid piece of art exists.      

Most Underrated: The Wedding Ringer (2015)

The Wedding Ringer is the only vehicle that's led or co-led by Hart that showed off why he earned so many acting opportunities after being a star on the stand-up circuit. This semi-romantic buddy comedy that's in a similar vein as Wedding Crashers sees Hart's signature manic energy and emphatic joke delivery serve as the stage-setting catalyst for an absurd, often chaotic movie full of pretty strong situational comedy bits and amusing one-liners.

Most Overrated: The Secret Life of Pets (2016)

Making animated movies that are actually geared towards kids has become sort of a dying artform over the past 10-15 years, so kudos to The Secret Life of Pets for managing to check that surprisingly underserved box. The trade-off for this however is a bland story littered with largely ineffective comedy and very little heart that left me feeling completely indifferent and struggling to remember what I had just watched pretty much as soon as it was over. 

Thursday, August 25, 2022

2022 NFL Preview: NFC South

 Atlanta Falcons

2021 Record: 7-10 (3rd in NFC South)

Head Coach: Arthur Smith (2nd season)

Notable Additions: CB Casey Hayward, QB Marcus Mariota, WR Bryan Edwards

Notable Departures: QB Matt Ryan, ILB Foyesade Oluokun, WR Russell Gage

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Watching Their Sneaky Strong Group of Young Players Play

All of the noise surrounding the departures of longtime franchise guys (Julio Jones, Matt Ryan) combined with their quiet mediocrity in recent years has overshadowed the fact that the Falcons do have some really promising young talent within their ranks. A.J. Terrell is quietly turning into one of the league's only true shutdown corners, Kyle Pitts put together a spectacular rookie campaign (68 REC/1,026 YDS/1 TD) under less-than-ideal circumstances in which he was often the focal point of the opposing defense's pass coverage that reenforced his unicorn status as a polished, speedy wide receiver who's trapped in the body of a tight end, Chris Lindstrom continued his ascent up the guard ranking hierarchy with a career-best 2021 campaign in which he allowed 0 sacks and Matt Hennessey is beginning to look like a true cornerstone lineman at center after his terrific showing in his 1st year as a full-time starter last season. As they gear up for what will almost certainly be another lost season for a team that is bizarrely teetering between hitting the reset button and adding veteran talent who would be better suited to play for a contender with the hopes of making a dark horse playoff push, watching these guys play and (ideally) grow should provide a degree of comfort for a fanbase that is largely frustrated with their current murky status.

Biggest Reason for Concern: Overall Talent of the Roster

Although the signing of a reliable veteran in Casey Hayward to pair with Terrell at corner and the assembling of a solid draft class (Drake London, Arnold Ebiketie, Desmond Ridder, Troy Andersen, Tyler Allgeier, DeAngelo Malone) that's full of guys who could turn into really good pros should conceivably give this team an overall talent boost, there is still a concerning lack of talent throughout the Falcons roster.

Before mentioning who is still here, it needs to be noted that they lost top contributors to their 2021 team in Matt Ryan, Russell Gage, Foyesade Oluokun and Duron Harmon during the offseason and star WR Calvin Ridley will be serving a season-long suspension for betting on games while he was away from football last year (the NFL continues to have its disciplinarily priorities straight!). Losing 4 key starters and a game changing WR from a team that wasn't exactly swimming in talent is a pretty shitty way to turn the page on a new season, but it's not an unexpected result given where this team currently is.

As for the guys who are still here, nearly every spot outside of corner and offensive line is sketchy. The quality of their pass-rush is likely to be solely dictated by Grady Jarrett's ability to bounce back from an uncharacteristically mediocre season, the grace of Ebiketie's transition to the pros and Marlon Davidson finally taking a real step forward after an unassuming start to his career. Their receiving corps next to London-who has been mighty impressive in the offseason program-features a couple of underwhelming holdovers from last year's team (Olmide Zaccheaus, Frank Darby), a perennial training camp star who has never quite put it together in the regular season (Bryan Edwards) and a convoy of journeyman (Damiere Byrd, KeeSean Johnson, Cameron Batson) that have only proven they're good for the occasional splash play or two. Banking on Cordarrelle Patterson to be a productive rusher for a 2nd straight year is a bit of a risk considering his age (31). The safety situation without Harmon in the mix is pretty concerning as Richie Grant-who struggled as a rookie, Jaylin Hawkins-who has only logged 6 career starts in his previous 2 NFL seasons and Dean Marlowe-a career backup who was below average in 9 starts last year with the Lions are in the mix for the 2 starting spots. And of course, the battle for the open quarterback spot is currently between the middling vet Marcus Mariota and athletic yet raw rookie Desmond Ridder. 

When it's all said and done, Arthur Smith and Dean Pees are going to have to work their asses off to overcome the clear talent hurdle they have to deal (this is the worst roster in the division by a considerable margin) and get this team to an even semi-respectable level. 

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Getting Something Out of the Quarterback Position 

Matt Ryan's 14-year stint as the Falcons quarterback came to an end in late March when both sides agreed it was time for him to move onto greener pastures. Through a variety of factors including the Falcons draft position (#8 overall) and the makeup of this year's quarterback class, the Falcons decided to go the conservative stopgap route when looking for Ryan's replacement- which netted a cheap veteran that just happened to have ample experience running Arthur Smith's offense in Mariota and a 3rd round rookie in Ridder whose size/physical tools combined with the widespread belief that he was being held back in a University of Cincinnati offense that didn't ask much of their QB's made him this class most popular dark horse selection. 

As per tradition when a team decides to go bargain shopping for quarterbacks, both guys have plenty of question marks attached to them. In the case of Mariota, he's effectively served as a gadget player for the Raiders over the past 2 seasons (he threw only 30 passes during that time) and was a pretty subpar starter during his 5 seasons with the Titans (his career record in the games that he started is 29-32) that often struggled to be anything more than a passable game manager. As for Ridder, he ran a very simple offense in college and has struggled with accuracy, decision-making and holding onto the ball for too long at times. 

Whoever ends up winning the QB competition is being asked to do something pretty attainable for someone that was good enough to make it to the NFL and compete for a starting job: Just be good enough to make the offense functional. Despite the legit questions around each of these guy's individual ability, the team can take solace in the fact that the supporting cast won't be making their quarterback's job more difficult. The rushing game should be decent regardless of whether the shifty Patterson or the powerful, hard-running rookie Allegier ends up serving as the primary back, their offensive line is solid enough to ensure that they won't get run over on most dropbacks and despite concerns over the depth of their pass-catchers, London and Pitts should be able to do enough to earn their QB's trust and keep the passing game afloat. Having a division that features two of the league's best defenses in the Bucs and Saints and a schedule that also features showdowns with the 49ers, Rams, Ravens, Steelers, Browns and Bengals could be enough to prevent this dream from becoming a reality, so Mariota and/or Ridder are certainly going to be tested on their journey to keep the long-running standard of this Falcons offense being capable enough to score 23-26 points per game in tact.

Bottom Line:

With the large talent gaps throughout their roster, puzzling mixture of older and younger players and uninspiring QB situation, the Falcons are stuck in the no man's land and it would be a shock if they finished higher than 3rd in this division. 

Carolina Panthers

2021 Record: 5-12 (4th in NFC South)

Head Coach: Matt Rhule (3rd season)

Notable Additions: QB Baker Mayfield, G Austin Corbett, S Xavier Woods

Notable Departures: OLB Hasson Reddick, CB Stephon Gilmore, QB Cam Newton

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Matt Rhule is Probably Going to Get Fired by the End of the Year

Throwing OC Joe Brady under the bus late last year was enough to buy Rhule-who has registered consecutive 5-win seasons and an overall record of 7-22 since the team sat at 3-2 going into Week 6 of the 2020 season-at least part of a 3rd season as Panthers head coach. Unless the long-awaited return of Ben McAdoo to the offensive coordinating/playcalling ranks proves to be the missing piece they needed to start really humming, the end of the road for Rhule in the house that Sir Purr built is well within sight. So far, Rhule has done nothing to disprove that he's anything more than just the latest babbling blowhard college coach that somehow swindled a vulnerable NFL operation (in this case, a Panthers team that had a green owner that had just bought the team a year prior) into giving him a job in the pros. While some injury woes and an unclear plan at QB are partially to blame for their struggles over the past 2 seasons, the lack of discipline and heart Rhule has instilled in this team is largely responsible for their poor performances. Fiery, ra-ra bullshit alone may get the job when you're facing a 3-6 Oklahoma State team at home in mid-October, but this is a league where actual X and O's proficiency, rigorous game planning and in-game situational awareness are all required to win and Rhule has yet to demonstrate that he is even OK at any of these things. 

If/when Rhule gest axed, Carolina will immediately become one of the hottest openings in the league. Their young corps has a ton of potential (DJ Moore, Taylor Moton, Brian Burns, Derrick Brown, Jeremey Chinn, Jaycee Horn, rookie tackle Ikem Ekwonu, maybe Christian McCaffery if he can still walk/stand by the time 2023 rolls around) and since Baker Mayfield and Sam Darnold are both free agents after this season, the new coach would have the freedom to do whatever the hell they please at quarterback.   

Biggest Reason for Concern: Christian McCaffery's Health

If the local Panthers media and majority of fantasy football players are any indication of the consensus opinion, nobody is at all concerned about McCaffery's durability heading into 2022. Takes built around points like "he's just caught some bad breaks" and "he hasn't blown out his knee or torn an Achilles" are commonplace around the McCaffery discourse. My question is how the hell can you be so cavalier about this potentially massive issue? McCaffery has spent the vast majority of the past 2 seasons on the shelf and as a running back who received a massive workload during his final 2 seasons at Stanford in 2015-16 and his initial 3 pro seasons in 2017-19, he's the ideal candidate to remain a heightened injury risk moving forward. 

Barring the occasional wild outlier like Adrian Peterson, Frank Gore and LaDainian Tomlinson, bellcow running backs have a tendency to break down at some point. Getting pummeled on 350-400 touches per year does wonders for wearing the human body down and typically when the injuries start to occur as a result of all those years of close-quarter beatings, they don't stop until somebody retires. Given that McCaffery has sustained shoulder, hamstring and ankle injuries that have caused him to miss 22 games over the past 2 seasons, this process could already be underway. 

To put it as simply as possible: If McCaffery can buck this troubling trend that's taken shape over the past 2 seasons: he'll be a force behind a conceivably improved offensive line with the best quarterback he's played with since 2017-era Cam Newton. If it continues, this offense becomes a whole lot less dynamic, a 3rd straight 5-win season (or worse) becomes much more likely and the practice of downplaying his health issues becomes that much harder to do.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Baker Mayfield Going on a Revenge Tour

The circumstances that ended Mayfield's tenure with the Browns are bullshit. Despite being somewhat responsible for providing the team with its greatest success since they were brought back into the league in 1999 during the 2020 season and giving them the stability at the quarterback spot that they had been desperately seeking for 20+ years, 1 disappointing season where he was playing through a major shoulder injury for the latter 80% of the slate was all it took for the Browns organization to give up on him. Discarding him for a serial sexual predator in Deshaun Watson only makes the Browns treatment of him even more insulting. 

As anybody who's ever heard and/or saw him speak in front of a podium before knows, Mayfield's persona is built around being doubted and slighted and using these things as motivation to succeed. He got no scholarship offers out of high school, so he decided to walk on at Texas Tech-where he ended up getting the starting job as a true freshman and winning 8 games for then-new HC Kliff Kingsbury. He didn't feel Texas Tech's coaching staff believed in him, so he transferred to Oklahoma-where he started for 3 seasons and eventually won the Heisman Trophy. He spent the pre-draft process in 2018 facing a string of doubts about his size and ability to run an NFL offense, but after some strong workouts he ended up launching himself all the way up to the #1 pick. After a poor sophomore season with Freddie Kitchens at the helm that saw people calling him a bust, Mayfield rebounded in a big way and earned the Browns a huge playoff win over the Steelers and had the Browns damn close to beating the Chiefs on the final drive of their Divisional Round matchup at Arrowhead. Being called an immature dink who can't lead a team, getting replaced by somebody with absolutely reprehensible character in Watson and effectively being given away by Cleveland shortly before training camp sounds like the perfect setup for Mayfield's next motivation-driven success story. 

Now, actually turning this move to the Panthers into a triumph is going to be difficult. Mayfield didn't get traded until July 6th, which means he only had a few weeks until training camp started to learn a new offense and build chemistry with a new group of receivers. But at the same time, it's not exactly impossible either. The Panthers offensive line should be decent now that Austin Corbett, Bradley Bozeman and Ikem Ekonwu are joining the reliably great Moton upfront, having a receiver that's as adaptable and talented as Moore leading the charge should make the transition easier and the beautiful reality is that this team has gotten such shit QB play over the bulk of the past 4 seasons that just about anything above Mayfield's average will be a significant upgrade. If Mayfield can find a way to make this transition to Carolina work under these poor circumstances, it will be the greatest moral and spite-fueled professional triumph that he's ever accomplished.

Bottom Line:

Regardless of McCaffery's availability throughout the year, Mayfield's lack of an opportunity to properly learn the offense along with Rhule's continued poor coaching are likely going to be enough to kill any shot the Panthers have of being good.     

New Orleans Saints

2021 Record: 9-8 (2nd in NFC South)

Head Coach: Dennis Allen (1st season)

Notable Additions: S Tyrann Mathieu, WR Jarvis Landry, QB Andy Dalton

Notable Departures: T Terron Armstead, S Marcus Williams, S Malcolm Jenkins (retired)

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Being Able to Maintain Continuity with Their Staff

Losing Sean Payton to a sudden resignation in January was devastating to the Saints organization. While Payton had his issues during the playoffs throughout his career, the Saints were a well-coached, competitive team for the majority of his 16-year tenure and bringing a Super Bowl to that city after Hurricane Katrina has earned him permanent legend status in New Orleans. Considering when Payton resigned (late January) and how well-oiled the operation alongside him was from top to bottom, promoting from within felt like the right choice. Mickey Loomis and Gayle Benson agreed when they promoted longtime DC Dennis Allen to HC in February. Allen was the right choice among the remaining Saints staff for the gig since he was integral to fixing a defense that was in shambles when he arrived to replace Rob Ryan in 2015 and had some head coaching experience underneath his belt (although he probably would prefer to forget his dismal 8-28 stint as the Raiders HC from 2012-14).

The benefit the Saints get from Allen staying and Allen himself gets in his 2nd head coaching stint is that the staff consists of guys that have been coaching together forever. Pete Carmichael, Kris Richard, Ryan Nielsen, Ronald Curry, Brian Young, Joel Thomas, Michael Hodges and even new OL coach Doug Marrone have all worked alongside Allen for multiple years in the past in New Orleans.  About the only real differences between the 2021 Saints and the 2022 Saints staff are that Allen has switched offices, Carmichael is calling plays now, Richard and Nielsen are spliting DC duties and organizational outsider Kodi Burns-who coached at Auburn and Tennessee in recent years-is the new WR coach.  These guys know what to expect from other and know how to work together and I believe the trust and continuity that exists among this staff will allow the Saints to play at a similar level as they did under Payton last season.

Biggest Reason for Concern: Trotting Out Jameis Winston at Quarterback for a 2nd Year

Would Jimmy Garoppolo make more sense for a team that has a roster that's capable of winning now and a great defense that can support having a game manager at quarterback? Yes, but that would be much less responsible and far less fun than bringing back Winston for another season. 

Make no mistake: This is still 100% Winston's team. Andy Dalton was just brought in so they could have a legit backup in case something goes really haywire, and Taysom Hill could go back to his true calling of being a gadget player with an incredible nickname. Loomis and this coaching staff believe in Winston and he'll be given every opportunity to prove if he's capable of being the guy or not.

The problems with having Winston at quarterback are largely the same as always: The man is a certified fearless gunslinger that is completely unconcerned with trivial little things like where the defenders are or where the ball lands. He just chucks the ball downfield and hopes somebody on his team comes down with it. 

In Winston's defense, he only threw 3 picks in his 7 starts before tearing his ACL last year (he barely moves when he throws, so I'm not overly concerned with how this will affect his playing ability) However, you can't just sit back and trust Winston to do what he did a year ago. Chaos is his brand, and nobody would blink an eye if he chucked 4 layup INT's in Week 1 versus the Falcons after showing an unusual degree of discipline during the last 7 occasions he took the field. Starting Winson is a dangerous dance that could yield glory or brutal death at any moment and whatever the results of this particular 17-week samba are will likely go a long way in dictating their fate in 2022.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Steady Production from Their WR Corps

With Michael Thomas missing the entire season and a whopping 3 different QB's earning time under center (Winston, Hill, Ian Book), the Saints WR corps had a hard time producing in 2021. Marquez Callaway ended up being the team's leading receiver with only 698 YDS and the only other WR that even cleared 400 YDS was kick returner/deep ball specialist Deonte Harris-who registered 570 YDS in 13 games. Considering the degree of output from their top targets, it's not exactly surprising to find out that they had the bottom ranked passing offense.

Their 2021 struggles appeared to finally be the breaking point for Loomis as he finally brought in some intriguing, much-needed reinforcements at WR after ignoring their depth issues for the better part of the last half decade. The clear headliner of the new additions is rookie Chris Olave-who Loomis traded up to land at #12 overall. A good amount of draftniks felt he was WR1 in this class and if his camp performances are any indication, he very well could be. Olave is a terrific route runner, has the kind of speed that allows to make plays at any level of the field and he's a slippery son of a bitch that can make people miss in space. If he can gel with Winston, he could be a serious playmaker right away.

The sentimental veteran addition came in the form of Louisiana native/LSU grad Jarvis Landry. Landry's play has taken a noticeable dip in each of the past 2 seasons as he's battled injuries and the consequences of taking beatings in the slot, but it's possible that his homecoming and a less demanding role brings some degree of rejuvenation for the nearly 30-year-old.

Then there's of course the wild card that could really open up this unit or continue to hold them back: Thomas. The man who was once widely viewed as the best WR in the league has been largely MIA with injuries for the past 2 seasons, so nobody really knows where he's at or what he can give at this point. Things definitely aren't off to the rosiest start though as Thomas hasn't appeared in either of the team's preseason games thus far and is reportedly dealing with a hamstring injury. At this point, any real clarity about Thomas would be a plus, but until then the "what if's" and "if only's" are going to continue to surround him as long as his status remains in limbo.

Considering where they were a season ago, a significant improvement relative to where they were feels inevitable even if only Olave and Landry actually make onto the field. The real million-dollar question is if this duo along with their cohorts including Callaway and Harris can do enough to bring this group from painfully inept to somewhat respectable in just 1 years' time.

Bottom Line:

Despite a couple of key roster losses (Marcus Williams, Terron Armstead) and some question marks at quarterback, their strong top-to-bottom continuity and excellent defense could be enough for the Saints to sneak into a Wild Card spot.  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

2021 Record: 13-4 (1st in NFC South)

Head Coach: Todd Bowles (1st season)

Notable Additions: G Shaq Mason, DT Akiem Hicks, WR Russell Gage

Notable Departures: G Ali Marpet (retired), G Alex Cappa, TE Rob Gronkowski (retired)

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Tom Brady Returned from His 5-minute Offseason Retirement

That fucking snake Brady had everybody convinced that he was actually going to retire for a second there. But as soon all the tributes had poured in and debates about his legacy had been had, Brady realized he hated his family and could get Bruce Arians fired if he decided to return, so he went ahead and came back. Nobody is happier about this development than Bucs. They were staring down the barrel of having to trade for Carson Wentz or Baker Mayfield or endure a camp battle between Kyle Trask and Blaine Gabbert until Brady delayed the start of the team's bleaker next chapter. The hunt for ring #3 is officially back on now that the ageless wonder is back in and everybody in the league should be scared.

Biggest Reason for Concern: Interior Offensive Line

When people have the gall to actually criticize Brady's play on the field for reasons that don't involve the cheating scandals, his handling of effective interior pass-rushing is the #1 thing that's brought up. When the pocket collapses and he can't get the ball out quickly like he likes to, Brady takes sacks and gets unusually uncomfortable under center. This is the exact formula that teams like the 2015 Broncos and 2010 Jets used to knock Brady off his mark and hand him painful playoff losses.

Shortly after Brady unretired, he was greeted with some unpleasant news in Tampa: Both of his starting guards from 2020-21 were gone. Disgustingly underrated perennial standout Ali Marpet decided to retire at age 29 and the quietly solid Alex Cappa left for the reigning AFC champion Bengals.

Initially, it seemed like the problem was quickly solved when Bill Belichick inexplicably did TB12 a major solid by trading Shaq Mason to Tampa for pennies on the dollar (1 5th round pick, which was the same compensation that the Cardinals just sent to Buffalo in exchange for Cody Ford-who isn't even a 1/1,00th of the player that Mason is). Mason has intimate knowledge of Brady's tendencies and also happens to be one of the filthiest run-blockers in the league, making this an absolute slam dunk replacement for Marpet on the left side.

Then, things started to take a turn for the worst when o-line anchor/prominent Brady confidante Ryan Jensen went down with an ACL tear at the start of camp. Losing a star lineman upfront before a single meaningful snap is played-particularly when that guy is responsible for snapping the ball, setting the protections and making sure Brady doesn't killed by the interior line-could turn out to be a brewing catastrophe for this organization. 

Making matters worse is Jensen's replacement is currently slated to be Robert Hainsey. Hainsey is a 2nd year player with 0 career starts and no experience playing center in meaningful game situations (he played tackle at Notre Dame and was converted to center during last year's training camp). Brady is going to send his ass to the practice squad as soon as screws up a few snaps or gets a handful of false starts.

Furthering Brady's delight with the personnel is the presence of rookie Luke Goedeke at right guard. Goedeke is a converted tackle with a much safer floor than Hainsey, but his weakness as a player is handling pass-rushing moves and that should be enough to make Brady really nervous in certain matchups.

To get through this season, Brady is going to have to hope that Mason can stay healthy and teach the young kids how to play their positions and what it takes to play with him. And if neither of those things work out by the halfway point, Brady just might hand over the keys to Gabbert or Trask and go back to getting yelled at by Gisele full-time because at least that pain doesn't involve getting repeatedly body slammed by 315-335 lb men once a week for 4-5 straight months.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Brady's Relationships with the Coaching Staff and His Teammates 

From a pure football standpoint, the Bucs are going to be just fine. Todd Bowles is a great, respected coach who will thrive in an environment that is inherently much more functional than what he had during his time as the Jets HC, newcomer Russell Gage will be able to admirably fill-in for the injured Chris Godwin-who likely won't return until October or November as he continues to rehab from the ACL tear he suffered last December-as the team's primary outside/slot swing WR and despite losing a promising young safety in Jordan Whitehead to the Jets in free agency, their loaded defense ultimately got even better by swapping out Ndamukong Suh and Jason Pierre-Paul for Akeim Hicks and Joe Tryon-Shoyinka.

So what could possibly stand in the way of the Bucs plowing through their way through the weakened NFC and getting an opportunity to win their 2nd Super Bowl in 3 years? The same man that brought them that championship in 2020 and will have them in the mix yet again in 2022.

On a game-to-game basis, Brady will still show up. He's too much of a competitor and too naturally talented at playing quarterback to fully phone it in. What Brady will do however is let his dissatisfaction with the operation consume him and that shit will weigh on him to the point where he becomes disengaged enough to grant a frisky opponent the opportunity to pop him in the playoffs without too much difficulty. For an example of this phenomenon in action, look no further than the 2019 Patriots. Before they even stepped on the field that year, it became evident that Brady had finally had enough of Belichick's shit and that led to Brady coasting by his standards. Ultimately, the team went 12-4 behind a very pedestrian Brady season (4,057 YDS/24 TD's/8 INT's/60.8 CMP%) before they got KO'd by the Titans in the Wild Card round.

 If you fancy yourself a football conspiracy theorist and read Brady's offseason activity a certain way, you could reach the conclusion that 2022 is shaping up to be an encore of 2019. The tampering report that was brought on by Brian Flores' damning, deeply thorough lawsuit against the Dolphins following his firing in January indicated that Brady was looking to get traded there following the 2021 season, Brady seemingly reluctantly returned to the Bucs after they agreed to remove his nemesis Bruce Arians from the head coaching post for having the nerve to call plays/contribute to the offensive gameplan like he did in his previous 25 years of coaching, he's been alarmingly blase about showing up to OTA's and getting reps during camp and the combination of the aforementioned interior offensive line woes, his good pal Rob Gronkowski being gone and his clear favorite WR Godwin being on the shelf for an undisclosed amount of time could be causing him to have a lack of faith in the operation. If Brady is indeed just going to play out the string in Tampa before he chooses a new football home or retires for real in 2023, that will be a sign that he doesn't respect or care about this staff or his teammates. So as this season approaches, Bowles, Byron Leftwich, the other assistants and every guy on this roster should kiss Brady's ass until their lips fall off. The team's goal of earning the franchise their 3rd Lombardi Trophy has practically zero chance of being met unless Brady fully buys into the operation by early October at the latest and this team has their goals set too high to accept anything less than getting back to the top of the mountain. 

Bottom Line:

The Bucs have too much of a talent advantage to not win this division. How things go beyond that will be up to how engaged #12 is.     

Projected Standings:

1.Tampa Bay Buccaneers (11-6)

2.New Orleans Saints (9-8)

3.Carolina Panthers (6-11)

4.Atlanta Falcons (5-12)

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Fantasy Football 2022: Most Undervalued Players

After dropping a whole lot of negativity and skepticism yesterday, it's now time to shift gears to the hopeful side of the Fantasy Football pre-draft prediction pieces. Here are my picks for the most undervalued players at every major position for the 2022 season along with a quick bonus section for the sickos who are looking to throw up some prayers in the final rounds of their drafts. Hope you enjoy. 

Quarterback: Trey Lance (49ers) (Yahoo!: 101.1, ESPN: 110.2)

By providing reliable QB1 output at a high-end QB2 price, Jalen Hurts ended up on a lot of winning fantasy rosters last season. With a similar skill set (mobility that ensures a solid weekly rushing floor combined with unpolished passing that will lead to erratic performances through the air), pretty comparable ADP and a strong supporting cast/coaching staff that will help put him in the best possible spot to make plays, Lance has a great chance to be this year's answer to Hurts.

Also in the Running: Derek Carr (Raiders), Kirk Cousins (Vikings), Matt Ryan (Colts)

Running Back: Tony Pollard (Cowboys) (Yahoo!: 94.1, ESPN: 100.6)

Although he only scored 2 offensive TD's, Pollard provided standalone fantasy value in 2021 by registering 1,056 scrimmage YDS (719 rushing/337 receiving) on only 171 touches. Considering Ezkiel Elliott's questionable standing with the coaching staff after his underwhelming 2021 campaign and the Cowboys thinner than usual crop of proven playmakers, there's no reason to believe that Pollard won't be able to secure a workload that's at least comparable to what he had last season. And in the not exactly unrealistic scenario that Elliott gets hurt or benched at any point this season, Pollard's standing on the RB hierarchy could skyrocket all the way up to high-end RB1 levels. Pretty good floor/ceiling situation for a guy whose ADP is currently sitting somewhere in the late 8th to mid 9th round range.  

Also in the Running: Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots), Rashaad Penny (Seahawks), Dameon Pierce (Texans)

Wide Receiver: Darnell Mooney (Bears) (Yahoo!: 94.0, ESPN: 72.3)

Don't let the inherent hopelessness of the supremely untalented 2022 Bears bury the bright light of Mooney. The 24-year-old has already proved he can succeed as a top wideout on a team that has little in the way of viable secondary receivers with his 2021 campaign (81 REC/1,055 YDS/4 TD) and he's 1 of only 2 pass-catchers (tight end Cole Kmet is the other) that's projected to be on the Bears opening day roster that has any sort of established rapport with Justin Fields. Given his talent and the degree of opportunities he's going to have as the WR1 on a shit team that's going to regularly find themselves in garbage time situations, Mooney could be in for a full-blown explosion this season. 

Also in the Running: Allen Robinson (Rams), Tyler Lockett (Seahawks), Russell Gage (Buccaneers) 

Tight End: Zach Ertz (Cardinals) (Yahoo!: 91.5, ESPN: 99.0)

There sincerely may not be a more appealing Cardinal to me than Ertz. He played his best football in a few years following his trade to Arizona from Philadelphia last October, his target share should increase exponentially while DeAndre Hopkins is on the shelf for the opening 6 games of year and his price tag is pretty cheap for a guy who is still more than capable of putting up 700+ YDS/4-7 TD's in a season. If the board doesn't grant me the opportunity to take Travis Kelce, Mark Andrews, Kyle Pitts or George Kittle early on, Ertz is my preferred TE1. 

Also in the Running: Pat Friermuth (Steelers), Cole Kmet (Bears), David Njoku (Browns)

Defense/Special Teams: Ravens (Yahoo!: 129.7, ESPN: 116.5)

Calling the Ravens defense undervalued may be a stretch for a group that's ranked within the top 7 on both of the biggest fantasy sites, but since they have a legit chance to finish in the top 3, I ultimately decided to make them my pick here. Considering all of the players they have returning to the lineup (Marcus Peters, Marlon Humphrey) after finishing last year on IR, the exciting new additions they made (Marcus Williams, Michael Pierce, Kyle Hamilton) in the offseason  and the hiring of longtime defensive assistant Mike Macdonald-who was with the team from 2014-20 before departing for the University of Michigan in 2021-as the new DC, the Ravens appear to be in line to become a multi-faceted terror that doesn't allow a lot of points and picks up enough sacks/takeaways to be among the highest scorers at the position most weeks. 

Honorable Mentions: Eagles, Bengals, Dolphins

BONUS SECTION:

10 Rookies and 2nd Year Players Who Are Worth Taking Late-Round Fliers On:

Tyler Allgeier, RB (Falcons)

Nico Collins, WR (Texans)

Romeo Doubs, WR (Packers)

Isaiah Likely, TE (Ravens)

Rondale Moore, WR (Cardinals) 

Skyy Moore, WR (Chiefs)

Kyle Phillips, WR (Titans)

George Pickens, WR (Steelers)

Brian Robinson Jr., RB (Commanders)

Jalen Tolbert, WR (Cowboys)

Monday, August 22, 2022

Fantasy Football 2022: Most Overvalued Players

The annual tidal wave of Fantasy Football drafts is quickly approaching as both August and the NFL preseason slate enter their final stages. In honor of this event that will help build the foundation of a winner or punch the first hole on a ticket to the misery-riddled confines of a given league's basement, it's time for me to finally throw my hat into the take ring for 2022. Today, I'll be exploring the topic of overvalued players. Below, you'll find my picks for the players (or in the case of defense/special teams, team) at each major position that I believe provide the worst value at their current draft position. Enjoy and feel free to post your own lists in the comment section. 

Quarterback: Kyler Murray (Cardinals) (ADP: Yahoo!: 59.2, ESPN: 62.4)

The king of independent study gets to celebrate his massive new deal by starting the 2022 campaign down his top 2 receivers from a year ago (DeAndre Hopkins is suspended for the 1st 6 games, Christian Kirk left for Jacksonville in free agency), facing a mounting level of pressure from the organization after they showed some doubts about his long-term viability as a franchise QB during the negotiation process for said massive contract extension and having to build chemistry with a new top wideout in Marquise Brown. These football and mental hurdles should ding Murray's already not overly impressive passing stats (3,787 passing YDS/24 TD/10 INT was his output last season) and unless he suddenly returns to his 2020 rushing attempt level (133-which is over 40 more totes than he had in either of his other 2 NFL seasons), he won't be able to make up for that statistical regression with his feet. The steady-ish floor will keep him firmly on the QB1 tier, but it would be pretty silly to spend a late 5th/early 6th round pick on an elite fantasy player that appears to be hurdling towards an underwhelming season.

Also in the Running: Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs), Russell Wilson (Broncos), Aaron Rodgers (Packers)

Running Back: Leonard Fournette (Buccaneers) (ADP: Yahoo!: 20.9, ESPN: 21.5)

A back who racked up just a hair over 1,200 scrimmage YDS and 10 TD's in the previous season going in the latter stages of the 2nd round is a depressing encapuslation of how thin the RB ranks are at the moment. Betting on Fournette to even replicate this unassuming level of productivity in 2022 is an unnesscary dice roll to take at such a crucial juncture of the draft. As rosy as the backfield touch share situation appears to be for him right now with middling veteran Gio Bernard and rookie Rachaad White serving as the backups, Forunette is a notoriously inconsistent back (particularly as a pass-catcher) who recently made headlines by showing up to May's mini-camp out of shape and could struggle to find space to run behind an overhauled offensive line that's lost 3 starters (Ryan Jensen to a season-ending injury in training camp, Ali Marpet to retirement, Alex Cappa to free agency) since the Bucs last took the field for a meaningful game in January. 

Also in the Running: Christian McCaffery (Panthers), D'Andre Swift (Lions), James Conner (Cardinals)

Wide Receiver: Tee Higgins (Bengals) (ADP: Yahoo!: 30.4, ESPN: 32.6)

Higgins is an exciting young player on a really good offense that has a steady floor of about 1,000 YDS/5 TD and could become an elite WR1 if Ja'Marr Chase gets sidelined at any point. However, there are simply too many mouths to feed in a fully loaded Bengals offense to justify taking Higgins in the middle of the 3rd round-particularly when there are multiple WR's (Michael Pittman Jr., A.J. Brown, D.J. Moore, Terry McLaurin) that are the uncontested top options on their team and reap all the benefits that come with that rarified status (higher target share, reception/yardage totals) going directly after him. 

Also in the Running: Deebo Samuel (49ers), Diontae Johnson (Steelers), Jerry Jeudy (Broncos)

Tight End: Dalton Schultz (Cowboys) (Yahoo!: 56.5, ESPN: 64.7)

Schultz falls into the dreaded "nice player, wrong price" category. While it's understandable to believe that a guy that's coming off a career year (78 REC/808 YDS/8 TD's) and is in line for a bigger role now that Amari Cooper is off the Cowboys roster can be a productive fantasy asset this season, Schultz's ascent to the top of the non-Kelce/Andrews/Kittle tier of TE's in recent months feels more like an impulsive phenomenon brought on by the terrible positional depth than an actual belief in his potential. 

Also in the Running: Dawson Knox (Bills), T.J. Hockenson (Lions), Albert Okwuegbunam (Broncos)

Defense/Special Teams: Cowboys (Yahoo!: 125.4 ESPN: 135.7)

Randy Gregory is gone. Trevon Diggs isn't going to get 11 INT's again. Their offense has gotten worse-particularly upfront. Micah Parsons is probably going to get a lot more attention in year #2 now that teams know what he's capable of in the NFL. This is a drawn-out way of saying that Dan Quinn is going to have a really difficult time trying to get this group back into the elite tier of defenses this year and if he fails that mission, this group isn't going to have much fantasy value.

Also in the Running: Saints, Broncos, Patriots 

Thursday, August 18, 2022

2021 in Movies: Revisited

While the nearly 8 months' worth of returns from 2022 movies have knocked its overall standing down a bit, 2021 remains a very solid cinematic year. For what it lacked in top-tier excellence, it made up with a heavy volume of really good B+ level movies and minimal amount of true garbage.

In terms of notable changes from January until today, there ended up being quite a few. The release of a couple new MCU titles this year further tanked Black Widow's stock, a re-watch of a certain cult favorite horror film that placed in the top 20 at year's end bumped it further up the list and I recently viewed a pair of small indie titles (Small Engine Repair, Mass) that were released last fall that now place pretty highly on my list of favorites from the year. There were also a trio of new additions to the bottom 10, a reshuffling in the high 20's/low 30's brought on by a late-night viewing of Last Night in Soho and zero movement in the top 10 despite some internal debates about whether or not King Richard and Red Rocket should be flipped. Below are the full results of this revaluation process complete with grades and the inclusion of all of the titles I've watched since the year-end list was posted. Hope you enjoy. 

152.(137) Chaos Walking (D)

151.(136) The Lost Daughter (D)

150.(135) The Marksman (D+)

149.(new) How It Ends (D+)

148.(134) Jolt (D+)

147.(133) Don't Tell a Soul (D+)

146.(new) American Underdog (D+)

145.(132) Awake (D+)

144.(131) Raya and the Last Dragon (C-)

143.(new) Werewolves Within (C-)

142.(130) Nightmare Alley (C-)

141.(new) A Journal for Jordan (C-)

140.(129) The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (C-)

139.(128) Good on Paper (C-)

138.(127) False Positive (C-)

137.(126) Tom & Jerry (C)

136.(125) Sweet Girl (C)

135.(124) Moxie (C)

134.(123) Prisoners of the Ghostland (C)

133.(121) Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain (C)

132.(new) The Addams Family 2 (C)

131.(120) Belfast (C)

130.(122) The Green Knight (C)

129.(119) Bruised (C)

128.(118) Happily (C)

127.(115) Red Notice (C)

126.(117) The United States vs. Billie Holiday (C)

125.(116) Coming 2 America (C+)

124.(113) The Paper Tigers (C+)

123.(114) The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run (C+)

122.(112) PG: Psycho Goreman (C+)

121.(111) The Card Counter (C+)

120.(110) The Tomorrow War (C+)

119.(109) Locked Down (C+)

118.(107) Thunder Force (C+)

117.(108) Love Hard (C+)

116.(new) Antlers (C+)

115.(99) Passing (C+)

114.(106) The Protege (B-)

113.(105) We Broke Up (B-)

112.(104) Breaking News in Yuba County (B-)

111.(103) Our Friend (B-)

110.(102) Fatherhood (B-)

109.(101) The Ice Road (B-)

108.(100) No Sudden Move (B-)

107.(98) Shadow in the Cloud (B-)

106.(97) The Map of Tiny Perfect Things (B-)

105.(96) Ghostbusters: Afterlife (B-) 

104.(93) The Nowhere Inn (B-)

103.(95) 8-Bit Christmas (B-)

102.(94) In the Heights (B-)

101.(new) The Tender Bar (B-)

100.(new) Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (B-)

99.(92) Cry Macho (B-)

98.(91)Ride the Eagle (B-)

97.(90) Vacation Friends (B-)

96.(89) The French Dispatch (B-)

95.(88) Jungle Cruise (B-)

94.(new) Encanto (B-)

93.(87) The Unforgiveable (B-)

92.(86) West Side Story (B-)

91.(85) Night Teeth (B-)

90.(84) Till Death (B-)

89.(new) Joe Bell (B-)

88.(83) Spiral: From the Book of Saw (B-)

87.(82) Pig (B-)

86.(81) Candyman (B-)

85.(80) Outside the Wire (B-)

84.(79) The Mauritanian (B-)

83.(78) Stillwater (B-)

82.(77) House of Gucci (B-)

81.(69) Black Widow (B-)

80.(76) The Eyes of Tammy Faye (B-)

79.(75) Old (B-)

78.(new) Parallel Mothers (B-)

77.(74) Without Remorse (B)

76.(73) The Little Things (B)

75.(72) Boss Level (B)

74.(71) Boogie (B)

73.(70) The White Tiger (B)

72.(68) Army of Thieves (B)

71.(67) Snake Eyes (B)

70.(66) Copshop (B)

69.(65) Reminiscence (B)

68.(64) The King's Man (B)

67.(new) The Voyeurs (B)

66.(new) Flee (B)

65.(63) Mandibles (B)

64.(62) Ron's Gone Wrong (B)

63.(61) Nine Days (B)

62.(60) Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (B)

61.(59) Don't Breathe 2 (B)

60.(58) Saint Maud (B)

59.(57) The Woman in the Window (B)

58.(56) Oxygen (B)

57.(55) Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (B)

56.(54) Free Guy (B)

55.(53) Halloween Kills (B)

54.(52) Venom: Let There Be Carnage (B)

53.(51) Titane (B)

52.(50) Cruella (B)

51.(49) Mortal Kombat (B)

50.(48) Space Jam: A New Legacy (B)

49.(47) Zack Snyder's Justice League (B)

48.(46) Some Kind of Heaven (B)

47.(45) Those Who Wish Me Dead (B)

46.(44) Spider-Man: No Way Home (B)

45.(43) Together Together (B)

44.(42) Luca (B)

43.(41) The Mitchells vs. the Machines (B+)

42.(40) Gunpowder Milkshake (B+)

41.(39) Spencer (B+)

40.(38) The Forever Purge (B+)

39.(37) Kate (B+)

38.(36) C'mon C'mon (B+)

37.(35) Concrete Cowboy (B+)

36.(34) Plan B (B+)

35.(33) F9 (B+)

34.(32) I Care a Lot (B+)

33.(31) Army of the Dead (B+)

32.(25) Being the Ricardos (B+)

31.(30) Dune (B+)

30.(28) The Guilty (B+)

29.(26) Summer of Soul (B+)

28.(29) Last Night in Soho (B+)

27.(new) Mass (B+)

26.(27) Zola (B+)

25.(24) Don't Look Up (B+)

24.(23) Eternals (B+)

23.(22) Licorice Pizza (B+)

22.(new) Small Engine Repair (B+)

21.(21) The Power of the Dog (B+)

20.(20) Riders of Justice (B+)

19.(18) Wrath of Man (B+)

18.(17) The Matrix Resurrections (B+)

17.(16) The Night House (B+)

16.(19) Malignant (B+)

15.(15) No Time to Die (B+)

14.(14) Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (B+)

13.(13) The Last Duel (B+)

12.(12) A Quiet Place Part II (B+)

11.(11) Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (A-)

10.(10) Malcolm & Marie (A-)

9.(9) Red Rocket (A-)

8.(8) King Richard (A-)

7.(7) Shiva Baby (A-)

6.(6) Godzilla vs. Kong (A-)

5.(5) The Harder They Fall (A-)

4.(4) Nobody (A-)

3.(3) Bad Trip (A)

2.(2) The Suicide Squad (A)

1.(1) Judas and the Black Messiah (A)

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Sharlto Copley Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Sharlto Copley-whose latest project "Beast" releases in theaters tomorrow.  

Sharlto Copley's Filmography Ranked:

10.Chappie (C)

9.Oldboy (C+)

8.Gringo (B-)

7.Free Fire (B-)

6.Maleficent (B)

5.The Hollars (B)

4.Elysium (B+)

3.The A-Team (B+)

2.Hardcore Henry (A-)

1.District 9 (A)

Top Dog: District 9 (2009)

Considering the resurgence of Star Wars and recent reworkings of more hardcore fan-appealing IP's such as Blade Runner and Dune over the past 7 years, an incredible original work in District 9 has effectively been boxed out of the majority of movie nerd conversations about recent triumphs-which is honestly baffling considering how much buzz it generated in the summer of 2009. Like many of the great classic works of science fiction before it, Neil Bloomkamp creates a really unique film that examines how xenophobia has influenced the structure of the world's societies while also delivering elite entertainment that's full of cool alien action and heart-pounding suspense.  

Bottom Feeder: Chappie (2015)

Whatever the hell Bloomkamp was trying to pull off with Chappie just didn't work. It's a generally confused piece of work that can't decide on a genre/tone (it shifts from silly comedy to gritty action movie to deadly serious allegory about the moral implications of drone warfare/AI in policing so many times that it made my fucking head spin) or a main character (Hugh Jackman's mulleted a-hole engineer, Dev Patel's good guy engineer and the absolutely awful Die Antewood duo as a low level criminal couple all get their turns to lead the show) that only remains semi-watchable due to Copley's tender, funny and charming voiceover performance as the titular robot. 

Most Underrated: The A-Team (2010)

Turning the hit 70's series The A-Team into a movie wasn't a good idea, it was a great one. Joe Caranahan took the silly, self-aware ragtag misfit essence of the show and injected into a hulking behemoth of a blockbuster that piles on the electrifying, good-natured absurdity for 2 straight hours. The titular team (Liam Nesson, Bradley Cooper, Quentin "Rampage" Jackson, Copley) has a really great rapport that seamlessly sells the "oddball ex-Special Forces guys that are forced to go on the run together after they're framed for a crime they didn't commit" hook, the action setpieces are massive slabs of over-the-top cartoony goodness and the tone is playful and self-aware without descending into obnoxiously meta territory. 

Most Overrated: Nothing

Copley's career-particularly following his District 9 breakout-has largely consisted of weird little action movies (Hardcore Henry), supporting turns in little seen indie titles (The Hollars, Gringo) that are mostly forgotten and the occasional blockbuster (Maleficent, The A-Team) that achieved exactly what it set out to do. That's a unique path that's bred plenty of polarizing titles and modest successes that has the added benefit of keeping his work out of the extreme ends of the film opinion hierarchy, which in turns makes him exempt from this particular section of the piece. 

Top Unofficial Video Game Movie: Hardcore Henry (2016)

Before Russian director Ilya Naishuller moved over to the world of Hollywood with last year's bone-crushing Nobody, he was back in Moscow constructing a nutty tour de force in experimental indie filmmaking. Aided by a group of brave stunt performers that had GoPros strapped to their heads, Nilhauser made a visceral, bonkers action movie in Hardcore Henry that simulated the experience of playing a first-person video game in breathtakingly vivid detail. The audience is in the eyes of the character as he shoots, stabs and fistfights his way through a cartoonish criminal underworld while an NPC with a constantly changing look (Copley) barks mission objectives at him for 95 minutes. Making such an ambitious, technically impressive action movie for so little money (the reported budget was $2 million) is a hell of an accomplishment that is a remarkable reminder of what talented creative people can pull off with very little resources at their disposal.

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

2022 NFL Preview: AFC South

 Houston Texans

2021 Record: 4-13 (3rd in AFC South)

Head Coach: Lovie Smith (1st season)

Notable Additions: CB Steven Nelson, DE Jerry Hughes, G A.J. Cann

Notable Departures: QB Deshaun Watson, S Justin Reid, QB Tyrod Taylor

Biggest Reason for Excitement: They Were Somehow Able to Get a Hefty Trade Return for a Serial Sexual Predator 

Trading Deshaun Watson wasn't feasible last season as his dozens of civil sexual misconduct cases were still in the process of being litigated, so the Texans paid him millions to sit out from games and occasionally workout at their facility. About a week into the new league year back in March, Watson's civil cases weren't turned into criminal investigations and within hours of the court being adjourned, some NFL teams reinforced their immortality by calling the Texans about Watson. On March 18th, the Browns become the winner of this disgusting sweepstakes and handed over a whopping 6 draft picks (1st rounders in 2022-24, a 3rd rounder in 2023 and 4th rounders in 2022 and 2024) for Watson.

 Regardless of which side cooked up this particular offer (I believe it was the Browns because they were the only reported suitor that was desperate and dumb enough to move that kind of capital in a deal for Watson), there's no chance that the Texans brass expected a haul of this size. Watson may be an elite QB that is on the cusp of entering his prime at age 27, but this is a guy who is likely to be barred from playing a football for at least the next calendar year and hasn't taken a meaningful snap since the end of the 2020 season. 

Unloading Watson is an extraordinary win-win for the Texans as they liberated themselves from the inescapable awful PR vortex that surrounds the team this serial predator is employed by and got a ton of picks to help them move their rebuild forward from a team that is probably going to continue to stink for the next 2 seasons. Guard Kenyon Green and running back Dameon Pierce-who are both expected to play heavy snaps this season-have a chance to move the pendulum for this deal further in the Texans direction while Watson sits and if there's any justice in the world of football, both of them will show out right away.

Biggest Reason for Concern: Cal McNair and Jack Easterby Continue to be Inept, Untrustworthy Dickheads

Outside of the Watson deal finally materializing and a draft that was pretty widely praised by people around the league, it was another head-scratching shitshow of an offseason for the Texans. The clear standout among their flurry of questionable moves came very early on with the firing of David Culley. Culley leading the 2021 Texans to 4 wins should've earned him some Coach of the Year votes. He was set up to fail with a garbage roster and the messiness of the Watson situation looming over his head and yet this team was far more competitive than they had any right to be. Culley's unwarranted dismissal after 1 year on the job is just the latest example of Cal McNair and Jack Easterby showing no respect for the people they employ. It's honestly kind of a miracle that Lovie Smith, Pep Hamilton and Dino Vasso stuck around-the former two of which were promoted to head coach and offensive coordinator respectively after serving as DC and QB coach last under Culley-considering what the brass just did to the man that brought them to Houston.

Free agency ushered in another collection of puzzling moves. Young defensive standout Justin Reid leaving this rebuilding situation for the greener pastures of Kansas City is a sting that couldn't been avoided, but everything else felt directionless and unjustifiable. Steven Nelson is a weird stopgap corner option for a team that already had some passable vets (Desmond King, Tavierre Thomas) kicking around their roster, signing multiple ex-Bills (Jerry Hughes, Mario Addison) that are in their mid 30's feels like a short-sighted move that will take valuable reps away from Jonathan Greenard, Jordan Jenkins and fellow free agent pickup Ogbonnia Okoronkwo and inserting A.J. Cann into a starting guard spot after watching him put together a largely pedestrian, injury-riddled 7 season tenure with the division rival Jaguars is either a sign of how little they think of 2019 draft pick Max Scharping-who has played fine over the past 2 seasons or how little time they spent watching Jags game film over the past 7 seasons.

To be fair, the 2022 Texans are almost certainly going to be better than the 2021 team. Smith has 2 previous tours as a head coach under his belt opposed to Culley who didn't even have any coordinator experience prior to taking a head gig, Hamilton is a more innovative, capable OC than Tim Kelly-who got ousted at the same time as Culley and the overall roster is a bit better than it was last year. But still, it's hard to argue that this team isn't being set up to fail. 

Their roster is still a very bizarre mix of young guys (Davis Mills, rookie Derrick Stingley Jr., about 10-12 others that figure to start or play key rotational roles this year), journeyman who couldn't get consistent reps anywhere else (Chris Conley, Kevin Pierre-Louis, M.J. Stewart), and super old vets (Hughes, Addison) looking to collect another 17-34 game checks before they ride off into the sunset, the talent void is still woefully apparent at most spots (take a look at their linebackers and offensive line outside of Laremy Tunsil) and the AFC on the whole figures to be greatly improved from a year ago. And when Smith gets thrown to the wolves in another year or two, who is the hell is going to want to come work for a couple of chuckleheads like McNair and Easterby? This organization has been a mess mired by dysfunction, ineptitude and a blatant lack of respect for the people that work for them since McNair took over for his father in 2018 and brought Easterby into the fold and even if GM Nick Casserio ends up putting together a few good drafts in a row, no in-demand coaching candidate is going to seriously considering taking a job with a team that is being run by such clueless, shitty people.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Davis Mills Continues to Surprise People with His Play

Going into 2021, there were so many takes about Trevor Lawrence, Zach Wilson, Trey Lance, Justin Fields and Mac Jones swirling around that any thoughts about Mills got buried. There may've been some people that thought he would replace stopgap journeyman Tyrod Taylor at some juncture, but people largely viewed the Stanford product as a developmental prospect that the Texans decided to kick the tires based on his high school pedigree (Mills was a highly-touted prospect before he went to Stanford and produced middling numbers/win totals), the direness of Watson's situation and the lack of a 1st round pick that would've allowed them to select one of the aforementioned guys that were all off the board by the time pick #16 rolled around.

Well, Mills earned 11 starts by season's end and pretty clearly outplayed every guy from this class besides Jones as a rookie. While the Texans only won 2 games he started and he did chuck his fair of costly INT's (10), Mills showed terrific poise and accuracy (66.8 CMP%) in the pocket and did more than enough good things in these losses to earn a shot to be the long-term starter for this team.

Personally, I have my doubts about Mills' talent level (he strikes me as a Gardner Minshew or Taylor Heniecke-type that is passable as a fill-in, but not good enough to be a full-time starter) and think that he's getting a bit too much praise by simply not being completely awful last season. However, he surprised people last year with his play and it's well within the realm of possibility that it could happen again this year. 

Hamiliton is one of the finest shapers of QB's working in the pros today and anybody that can put up a high completion percentage while throwing from the pocket behind a questionable offensive has a set of tools that could be molded into something truly impactful in the future. People thought Mills was going to be an elite QB one day and it would be a great narrative for Mills himself and the Texans to see that potential finally get unleashed at the pro level, especially when you consider the set of circumstances that brought him to Houston in the first place.

Bottom Line:

Like the Lions in the NFC, the Texans are at way too early of a stage in their rebuild to be viewed as a threat to exit the league's basement right now.

Indianapolis Colts

2021 Record: 9-8 (2nd in AFC South)

Head Coach: Frank Reich (5th season)

Notable Additions: QB Matt Ryan, CB Stephon Gilmore, S Rodney McLeod 

Notable Departures: QB Carson Wentz, WR T.Y. Hilton, S Khari Willis (retired)

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The Front Office Continues to Make Smart Moves

Since Chris Ballard arrived in 2017 to clean up the messes that Ryan Grigson created including most notably significantly shortening Andrew Luck's career by giving him zero offensive line help from 2012-15, the Colts have had a pretty impressive track record of personnel moves that have made this team better in the long run despite not quite hitting the heights that the Grigson/Chuck Pagano tandem achieved (1 AFC Championship Game) so far. Heading into a vital 2022 offseason that saw them needing to tweak the roster after they stunningly missed the playoffs after failing to win 1 of their final 3 games and having to tap a replacement for longtime DC Matt Eberflus-who accepted the Bears vacant head coaching position and took most of the team's defensive staff along with him, Ballard once again identified his team's issues and addressed them in a logical, savvy manner.

After a month or so of searching following Eberflus' departure, Gus Bradley was brought into to be the new DC. While his past 2 seasons with the Chargers and Raiders haven't gone overly well, Bradley is a veteran coach who prides himself on having physical, aggressive defenses and his system helped unlock the full potential of Maxx Crosby-which could be great news for a promising upstart like Kwity Paye. Inheriting a Colts group that is deeper and more talented than his recent squads-particularly on the backend-should also help boost the middling-to-below-average overall numbers Bradley's groups have posted over the past 2 seasons.

In terms of on-the-field moves, Ballard was even sharper. Ballard and HC Frank Reich deserve props for quickly realizing that Carson Wentz didn't have the leadership skills or on-field effectiveness to cut it as their starter long-term and moved him before free agency even started. Getting a pair of respectable draft picks in return from Washington (2nd and 3rd rounders this year that turned into WR Alec Pierce and TE Jelani Woods) made the move even sweeter. 

Considering the current construction of their roster, the Colts needed to find another veteran quarterback to take the reins of their offense following the failed Wentz experiment. Through a combination of value (all it took was a single 3rd round pick to land him) and fit, the Colts secured the best possible option in Matt Ryan. 

Ryan is the polar opposite of Wentz as he's a well-respected vocal leader that doesn't have many limitations as a passer and can probably handle leading his team to 1 victory in the final 3 games to secure a playoff berth if called upon. There are some questions about his ability to win in the playoffs-especially outside of a domedor warm weather setting and how much longer he can play at a respectable level (he's currently 37), but at least for now, he's a clear upgrade over Wentz that should immediately solve the Colts single biggest roster problem.

Outside of landing Ryan, Ballard's focused on bringing in vets with some gas left in the tank to come in and fill their vacant starting roles. Stephon Gilmore at only $7 mil guaranteed per season for the next 2 years is a terrific value signing that should at the bare minimum represent an improvement over what the respectable but not overly great Xavier Rhodes gave them over the past 2 seasons, Rodney McLeod is still a functional starter who provides some pop and timely pass breakups at the strong safety spot and as much as he's prone to disappear over the course of a game, Yannick Ngakoue can be relied on to get 8-10 sacks per season as a secondary pass-rusher. As long as they don't fall victim to the injury bug, these moves should help them clear the small hurdles that prevented them from going to the playoffs last year.

Biggest Reason for Concern: Jonathan Taylor Wearing Down and/or Getting Injured

The Colts announced over the weekend that star running back/reigning NFL rushing leader Jonathan Taylor will sit for the entirety of the preseason. Considering that Taylor stayed healthy for all of last season and he completely understands Frank Reich's offense, this is the right call. Taylor is too important to this team to risk him getting hurt in a meaningless game like his fellow 2020 RB class member J.K. Dobbins was in last year's preseason finale.

Even with this positive announcement, the Colts still have to live with the fear of Taylor getting injured and/or wearing down this season. Taylor is only 23, so it wouldn't be surprising if he came out of this season unscathed, but when you've been handling an obscene 300+ touch workload for at least the past 5 seasons of college and pro ball, that doomed fate becomes more likely by the day. Bellcows have short life spans in this league and nobody ever knows when that shit is going to stop, so the Colts should appreciate Taylor's contributions to their club while they can. 

With Matt Ryan under center, the prospect of Taylor being shelved long-term in 2022 isn't quite as dire as it was last season, but he's far too vital to the functionality of their offense for them to just gracefully brush off his absence. The Colts passing game is still far too dependent on Michael Pittman Jr. to be highly effective and whatever combination of Nyhiem Hines, Philip Lindsay and Ty'son Williams the team would use as a replacement for Taylor wouldn't nearly as potent or consistent as what Taylor's dynamic pairing of power, patience and home-run hitting speed brings to the table. Everybody from Jim Irsay down to the concession people at Lucas Oil Stadium need to cross their fingers that Taylor remains healthy and productive this season. No matter how cute Reich gets with game planning or how feisty their defense is, this team isn't built to contend as currently constituted without Taylor registering 1,800+ scrimmage YDS and 15+ TD's.

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Matt Ryan Being a Steady Hand

After watching Wentz piss away the 2021 season with his ultraconservative play that rarely included passes that were more than 10-12 YDS downfield and gift for ensuring that every turnover he commits is back-breaking and inexplicable, there's been plenty of vocal rejoicing about the arrival of Ryan. That level of jubilation is completely understandable. Let's face it: If Ryan was under center last season, they just wouldn't have suffered those losses that kept them out of the playoffs and who knows what this team could've done with a functional QB once they got there.

As valid as all of the positive hoopla surrounding the arrival of Ryan is, there are plenty of reasons to believe that Ryan has quietly regressed in recent years. He hasn't won more than 7 games in a season since 2017, his TD total hasn't cleared 26 since 2018 and his gunslinger luck is at its worst rate since 2013-15 as he's posted double digit INT's in 3 straight seasons. Worst of all, he did all of this while throwing to receiver groupings that are all collectively stronger than the Michael Pittman Jr./Alec Pierce/Parris Campbell/Mo Allie-Cox group that he's set to work with in Indy this year. 

All the Colts need to take a step forward is a steady hand at QB and Ryan has been just that for the bulk of his career. The presence of a potent running game, decent offensive line and very good defense immediately puts him in a better spot to succeed than he was in during his final 3 years with the Falcons, which on paper at least makes a return to form seem like a pretty strong possibility.  Considering what's at stake for Reich, Ballard and Irsay after last season's disappointment, they better hope that the change in scenery is all Ryan needed to recapture his reliably solid form.

Bottom Line:

The Colts fell just shy of the playoffs last season and I believe with the marginal improvements they made to the roster along with the Titans regression, they'll get over the hump this year. 

Jacksonville Jaguars

2021 Record: 3-14 (4th in AFC South)

Head Coach: Doug Pederson (1st season)

Notable Additions: G Brandon Scherff, WR Christian Kirk, CB Darious Williams

Notable Departures: C Brandon Linder (retired), LB Myles Jack, G Andrew Norwell

Biggest Reason for Excitement: A Competent Coach is Running the Show!!!

Urban Meyer's tenure as Jaguars head coach failed in quicker and more spectacular fashion than even the most outspokenly cynical Meyer skeptics expected it to. After hurricane Urban tore through Duval County with his unprofessionalism, comical ego and staggering inability to grasp the difficulty of the pro game, the arrival of the milquetoast, Super Bowl winning Doug Pederson feels like a historic blessing. Pederson's unphased God-loving California surfer vibe and ability to actually coach at the professional level should immediately endear him to the locker room. Trent Baalke's continued presence in the front office along with trying to get this team to regroup after dealing with a truly insane 2021 season is probably going to make things tough in the interim, but Pederson just showing up and being a pro at what he does will eventually bolster their morale and execution level of this entire roster.

Biggest Reason for Concern: Trevor Lawrence

Trevor Lawrence got dealt a hilariously bad hand as a rookie. Having Darrell Bevell and Brian Scottenheimer be the sensei's overseeing your introduction to an NFL offense while your embarrassment of a head coach is quickly realizing that he can't hack it in the pros isn't conducive for playing good football. Having to learn a new offense for a 2nd straight year in exchange for having those 3 bozos flushed out of the Jaguars organization has got to be a worthwhile trade for him.

As much as the odds were stacked against Lawrence as a rookie, the seemingly universal sentiments that his struggles last year were solely caused by the inept operation feel a bit too premature. There were a lot of times last season where Lawrence looked completely overwhelmed running a pro offense. He regularly rushed throws, struggled to get in sync with his wideouts and displayed erratic touch on his throws. All of these things shine through in his numbers (59.6 CMP %, 12 TD's, 5 lost fumbles, a league-high 17 INT's) and it's not exactly hard to deduce why they were only able to win 3 games when the quarterback was playing like this for 17 games.

Clearly having a shitty staff, offensive line and questionable receiving corps made things more difficult for Lawrence, but some of these issues are problems with his game that are worth sounding the alarm over-particularly since those roster issues still largely remain intact (they basically just swamped out a couple offensive lineman and D.J. Chark for Christian Kirk) under Pederson. The reality is that Lawrence's reputation could just being boosted by his title run at Clemson back in 2018 and the kid isn't the franchise QB he's been pegged to be since he was 19. Learning a new system for the 2nd straight year and overcoming the scarring of his 2021 campaign gives Lawrence a 2-year grace period before any takes of real weight can be formed about his long-term trajectory as a pro, but until he cleans up at least some of the glaring issues with his game, balking at anybody that shows any doubt towards his ability to suceed at the pro level is asinine. 

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: The Young Guys Step Up

The Jaguars were able to make some surprisingly strong free agent signings (Brandon Scherff, Darious Williams) for a team that is coming off the double whammy of losing a ton of games and being a toxic circus in the locker room. However, this particular group of players along with the other egregiously overpaid vets they inked to long-term deals (Kirk, Foyesade Olokun, Folorunso Fatukasi, Zay Jones) and a smart dice roll on an oft-injured tight end who can be a high-value redzone asset when healthy (Evan Engram) aren't good enough to move the needle forward by much.

The group that could power the Jags into the realm of overachievement is their rookie and sophomore talents. As outlined in the previous paragraph, it all starts with Lawrence shedding some of his bad habits and making notable strides after his disastrous rookie campaign. Elsewhere on offense is pretty quiet, although the return of Travis Ettienne could prove to be massive as his dual-threat skill set paired with his familiarity with Lawrence could help take a big burden off the young QB's shoulders and rookie center Luke Fortner has some big shoes to fill at the spot that Linder locked down for the past 8 seasons.

Defensively, on the other hand, is a treasure chest of untapped potential that new DC Mike Caldwell-whose mentor/longtime employer is Todd Bowles-could have a lot of fun playing around with. On the front 7, #1 overall pick Travon Walker should benefit from playing alongside an established edge talent in Josh Allen that will be able to bear the brunt of the highest leverage pass-rushing opportunities while he refines his game and fellow 1st rounder Devin Lloyd is the type of all-around linebacker that could eat in a blitz-happy system that has plenty of athleticism upfront. 

Shifting over to the secondary, Tyson Campbell and Andre Cisco could end up holding the keys to the standing of this entire group. Campbell held up pretty well as a starter last season-surrendering 53 receptions on 79 targets while registering 2 INT's and 10 passes defensed- while Cisco looked like a legit ballhawk in limited snaps as a rookie and could take a huge leap now that's he set to become a starter in year #2.

The Bengals proved last year what good can happen if the young guys play their asses off and while the Jaguars corps isn't quite as loaded as that group, there is the potential for a huge leap if the aforementioned players and a few unspoken wild cards (Chad Muma, Walker Little, Jay Tufele) that aren't currently set to play significant roles can come in and radically change the fortunes for a wretched team that's registered back-to-back #1 overall picks with their high level of play. 

Bottom Line:

Doug Pederson will do enough to ensure this team doesn't post the worst record in the league for a 3rd straight year. Other than that, another big misery stew appears to be simmering in Jacksonville.

Tennessee Titans

2021 Record: 12-5 (1st in AFC South)

Head Coach: Mike Vrabel (5th season)

Notable Additions: WR Robert Woods, TE Austin Hooper, G Jamarco Jones

Notable Departures: WR A.J. Brown, WR Julio Jones, ILB Jayon Brown

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Mike Vrabel is Built for Adverse Situations  

Mike Vrabel has no time for emotions like "panic", "concern" and "uncertainty" when it comes to his football team. This man just earned Coach of the Year honors by navigating a comical number of injuries and COVID woes that depleted his team of the bulk of its best players for several stretches of the 2021 season. A defense that might actually kind of stink save for Kevin Byard and Jeffrey Simmons, a front office that basically gave away their young star WR before they even really tried to sign him and a middling veteran quarterback who derailed the Titans chance to move onto a 2nd AFC Championship Game in the last 3 seasons all by himself may prove to no match for a man who has made a coaching career off thriving when people didn't expect him to. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: The Makeup of Their Wide Receiver Group

The Titans may be built like a smashmouth 80's team that doesn't put any sort of real value around the passing game, but that doesn't grant them the luxury of avoiding the passing game entirely. Having the ability to make plays through the air or at least establishing the threat to make a play if need be is imperative to being a true top-tier team in the league. Given the current construction of the receiver group in the wake of Brown's departure, they might not have either of those things.

Acquiring Robert Woods from the Rams to be a 1B checkdown option felt like a great move in late March when the deal was made, but after Brown got traded and he moved over to the de facto 1A slot, shit got a lot murkier. Woods is now 30, tore his ACL last November and has only enjoyed success in a supporting role with the Rams. Without another proven option beside him, he could regress back to the 600-700 YD per year player he was in Buffalo at the start of his career and a return to that type of output wouldn't make him particularly useful for the Titans. 

Any concerns about Woods are small potatoes compared to the full-blown panic that has formed around 1st round pick Treylon Burks after what can only be described as a disastrous start to his tenure in Nashville. A mere couple weeks after he was drafted, Burks made headlines when he failed a conditioning test and was subsequently booted out of minicamp by Vrabel. Things didn't get any better in training camp as reports have been circulating about lost he looked during practice and that carried over to the preseason opener versus the Ravens last week where Burks was getting run with the 3rd stringers and saw fellow rookie WR Kyle Phillips-who was selected in the 5th round-enter and exit the game before he did. Considering that Burks was billed as this versatile Deebo Samuel-esque weapon that could become the instant focal point of an offense during the pre-draft process, Burks' performance thus far has to be giving the Titans some deep regrets about using this pick on him.

This leaves two wild cards as the "safest" bets to save the Titans WR productivity: Phillips and Nick Westbrook-Ikhine. Phillips earned his fans in scouting circles after some strong pre-draft workouts that showcased his high-end speed/unsung route running and he's looked good at the camp thus far out of the slot, but his college career at UCLA was pretty unremarkable outside of his 10 TD senior year and drops are a bit of a concern (he dropped 6 passes last season).

Westbrook-Ikhine has the big advantage of being the only projected starter that has experience in this system and playing with Tannehill. He also played pretty decently when he was forced into the top WR spot during the Titans peak injury/COVID period last November-including a 7 REC/107 YD performance against the Texans in Week 11. As raw and inconsistent as Westbrook-Ikhine still is heading into year #3, don't be surprised if he gets a lot of the passing looks-particularly early on.

When the dust settles on this season, Jon Robinson and the rest of the Titans brass could end up regretting trading Brown, getting a ton of heat of drafting Burks and/or receive praise for finding some diamonds in the rough to be their new top WR's. The options are pretty much limitless and there will be a lot to discuss regardless of what materializes.   

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: A Healthy Derrick Henry

Given the absurd volume Derrick Henry has received for much of his career dating back to high school, the Titans were granted some very good fortune when the star back managed to stay pretty healthy throughout his NFL career. That luck ran out when Henry broke a bone in his foot during a Week 8 contest with the Colts and didn't return until the playoffs-where he was tremendously ineffective (20 CAR/62 YDS) in a loss to the Bengals.

What this 9-game stretch without Henry confirmed wasn't exactly shocking: he is the engine that makes this entire team go. Sure, Dontrell Hillard and D'Onta Foreman had some good games in relief and the team went 6-3 without him, but they just weren't the same machine they are when Henry is out there. 

Henry's reliably high productivity keeps their mediocre defense fresh, allows Tannehill to operate in his play action happy place at least 75% of the time and terrifies defenses with his punishing rushing style that miraculously increases in intensity as the game goes on. If Henry-who is now 28 and will turn 29 at the end of the regular season in January- can return to this form now that he's had 8+ months to recover from his foot ailment, the Titans will be able to compete with anyone in the league. If he gets hurt again, the entire Titans offense is going to lose its entire identity and the intimidation and fluidity that comes with it. And considering the current makeup of this team and murkiness of their future, they can't afford to have the centerpiece of their entire operation compromised or sidelined at any point this season.

Bottom Line:

Going from the #1 AFC seed to missing the playoffs entirely would be a shocking decline that the Titans seemed primed to make unless Henry can seamlessly return to his monstrous form.

Projected Standings:

1.Indianapolis Colts (11-6)

2.Tennessee Titans (8-9)

3.Jacksonville Jaguars (5-12)

4.Houston Texans (4-13)