2024 NFL Preview: NFC East

 Dallas Cowboys

2023 Record: 12-5 (1st in NFC East)

Head Coach: Mike McCarthy (5th season)

Notable Additions: RB Ezekiel Elliott, ILB Eric Kendricks, RB Royce Freeman

Notable Departures: T Tyron Smith, RB Tony Pollard, DE Dorance Armstrong 

Biggest Reason for Excitement: TBD

Is this sort of a strange, lame take to have? Sure, but I promise it will make more sense once you read the Biggest Reason for Concern section. The Cowboys just have too much uncertainty surrounding the majority of the most important figures on their team to right now to get notably excited about anything right now. To atone for the lack of defined notable positive feelings about the 2024 Cowboys for now, here's a quick list of some minor things that are unrelated to their current set of crises that fans could be happy about:

-Trevon Diggs is back from the ACL tear that cost him nearly all of the 2023 season and he appears to be line to start in Week 1.

-Watching how DaRon Bland builds off his 2023 All-Pro campaign and adjusts to playing alongside Diggs after stepping in as his injury replacement last year. 

-While he isn't the player he was back in his heyday with the Vikings, Eric Kendricks should be a more consistent, reliable presence at ILB than the oft-injured Leighton Vander Esch has been in recent years.

-Ezekiel Elliott played well in a secondary role with the Patriots last season and he could end up being more effective upon his return to the Cowboys than he was in 2022 on account of this period of reduced work.

-An imposing LT prospect (6'8, 322 lbs) armed with an arsenal of raw athletic tools like Tyler Guyton couldn't have landed in a better spot in the pros. If this kid is capable of becoming a more consistent, disciplined player than he was at Oklahoma, the Cowboys terrific o-line coaching will be able to get it out of him.

Now, if any of these things end up being the most exciting thing about the team, they're in deep trouble. But for now, they're a nice set of constellation prizes that can distract fans a bit from all of the worrisome shit that's been dominating the early training camp headlines.       

Biggest Reason for Concern: Contract/Coaching Issues Making Their Way to the Field

The Cowboys offseason has been a non-stop circus dating back to January. Jerry Jones kept everyone on pins and needles for weeks while he contemplated Mike McCarthy's future with the team following their embarrassing blowout Wild Card Loss to the Packers on their home field. Jones ultimately decided to keep McCarthy for 2024, but in a classic Jerry move, he announced this news in the most disrespectful, insane fashion possible in a press conference where he stated McCarthy is in the final season of his contract and will not receive an extension before the start of the season. Nothing says you have confidence in the head coach like announcing to the world that he's a lame duck ahead of a vitally important season for the organization! Never change the way you do business Jerry, that's why you've won so much post-1995!  

After the McCarthy saga concluded, the attention turned to the Cowboys 3 biggest star players in CeeDee Lamb, Dak Prescott and Micah Parsons. They're all seeking new contracts and as of today, there's been no meaningful progress on a deal for any of them. This situation has gotten more uncomfortable-particularly for Lamb and Prescott- in recent weeks as many of their peers (Justin Jefferson, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Jordan Love, Trevor Lawrence, Tua Tagovailoa) around the league have inked huge extensions to remain with their current teams.

Training camp has opened these wounds even further as Lamb is sitting out of practice until he (presumably) gets an extension, Prescott is publicly shitting on Jones for not paying him and Parsons is kind of just waiting around for his turn as his status as a 2021 draft pick with 2 years left on his rookie deal ensures he's going to be last on the priority list. All of these players are under contract for 2024 and none of them except for Dak-who has reported to camp and is currently practicing-can afford to hold out, so there's not any danger of them missing an extended portion of the schedule. There is however plenty of room for these guys to potentially drag down the team by not playing at a high enough effort level to help them win. Why would you be willing to bust your ass for a team that doesn't respect your contributions? All 3 of these guys are established stars with impressive bodies of work who play premium positions. They're going to get the contracts they desire whether it's from Dallas or elsewhere regardless of how they play this season, which puts the Cowboys in a precarious position that Jerry won't be able to talk or deflect his way out of.  

Key to Reaching Ceiling: Jerry Jones Breaking Out His Damn Check Book

Jones could really end most of the bullshit surrounding the team right now if he just paid his players. The Cowboys have one of the best rosters in the league and the NFC remains wide open, so there's no reason this team couldn't be very competitive if they're all healthy and engaged. And with the exception of Dak-who turned 31 yesterday and has a lengthy track record of playoff faceplants that are nicely exemplified by his 2-5 career record, what debate is there to have about signing these guys to long-term deals? Lamb and Parsons are two of the most electrifying, highly productive young players in the league. These are the type of guys you build a team around as their current production is ridiculous and they might not even be at their peak yet as they're still about 2-3 years from entering their prime. You run the most valuable team in American professional sports and are allegedly a contender. Start acting like it and pay your fucking stars so fans can focus on the real problems like how they're going to choke in January, what the hell is going on at RB and Mike Zimmer's coaching prowess after 3 years away from the NFL.

Bottom Line: 

Depends on how the rest of camp plays out. They could win 5 games or 13. No amount of blackmail or threats sent my way could convince me to bet a single dollar on any win total over/under for this god forsaken team.    

New York Giants

2023 Record: 6-11 (3rd in NFC East)

Head Coach: Brian Daboll (3rd season)

Notable Additions: EDGE Brian Burns, RB Devin Singletary, QB Drew Lock

Notable Departures: RB Saquon Barkley, S Xavier McKinney, TE Darren Waller (retired)

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Some Splashes Were Made in the Offseason!!!

The supreme lack of sexiness on the Giants roster that was an endearing feature in 2022 became a bug in 2023 as their general lack of talent on both sides of the ball became glaring as they limped to a 6-11 record. As the whole football world has seen play out on Hard Knocks, that has changed this offseason.

GM Joe Schoen got things started very early by acquiring Brian Burns from the Panthers right before the official start of free agency in March. Burns hasn't had less than 7.5 sacks in any of his 5 NFL seasons thus far and the kind of consistent pressure he's able to generate as a pass-rusher is something the Giants haven't had since Jason Pierre-Paul left town following the 2017 season. Burns' arrival should also bolster the play of 2022 1st round pick Kayvon Thibodeaux-who's flashed at times but has been marred with inconsistency despite his solid 11.5 sack season a year ago.

     Schoen kept things rolling at the top of the draft where they addressed their biggest need at WR by selecting Malik Nabers with the 6th overall pick. Nabers became the all-time leading receiver at LSU following his 2023 campaign-which means something considering all of the WR talent that has come of there in the past decade and possesses one of the most special speed/route-running combos of any prospect that's entered the NFL in recent years. There are some concerns about his ability to handle contact at the next level and adjust to the 2-foot catch rule given his lengthy history of getting 1 foot in bounds in college, but the rest of his game is complete enough where it shouldn't prevent him from providing the immediate impact the Giants need at this position.

Rounding out the intriguing pickups are veteran running back Devin Singletary, backup QB Drew Lock and rookie safety Tyler Nubin. Singletary is coming off a solid year with the Texans and should serve as a respectable replacement for the departed Saquon Barkley. Lock rehabbed his image a bit over the past 2 seasons with the Seahawks after a disastrous end to his tenure with the Broncos-which showed in the improved poise he displayed in his 2 starts last year in place of the injured Geno Smith and is a good, young insurance policy to have if things go sideways with Daniel Jones or he gets hurt again. Nubin was near-universally considered to be the top safety prospect in this year's class and has the kind of range and versatility that teams covet at the position. Is this enough to solve the Giants talent woes? Probably not, but it's a promising step in the right direction for a team that is still very much in the midst of a rebuild.    

Biggest Reason for Concern: Not Enough Additions to the Offensive Line

All of the (largely warranted) vitriol directed towards Daniel Jones and the lack of receiving talent took the focus away from what was arguably the Giants offense's biggest problem: the offensive line. While star left tackle Andrew Thomas missing 7 games with a hamstring ailment was part to the problem, it went well beyond that as they consistently were bogged down with bad run blocking and even worse pass protection throughout last season. 

Given their cap space and needs at every spot besides LT, offensive line should've been a top priority for Schoen. The market was pretty strong at their needed positions with a nice mix of ascending young players (Robert Hunt, Mike Onwenu) and established vets (Kevin Zeitler, Graham Glasgow) hitting the open market. The Giants didn't go for any of those options and instead went bargain shopping. The two bites they got on the thrift market were Jon Runyan Jr. and Jermaine Eluemenor. What makes these moves particularly confusing are not were these guys clear second-tier options, their presence doesn't take any responsibility away from their biggest liability: right tackle Evan Neal. Runyan Jr. was the weak link on a pretty good Packers line last season (54.7 PFF grade, 6 penalties, 2 sacks allowed) and never made much of a positive impression during his 50 starts there over the past 4 seasons while Eluemenor enjoyed a bit of a career resurgence with the Raiders over the past 2 years and change after flaming out with the Patriots, but his play in Vegas still wasn't consistently good by any means and the Giants will be moving him over to RG from his natural position of RT for reasons that still aren't quite clear to me given how fucking awful Neal has been at that spot so far. Any efforts to get this offense back on track could be thwarted immediately if this group continues to stink, so Scohen better hope that his new guys, Neal and 2nd year center Jonh Michael Schmitz can stay healthy and deliver, or this could be the miscalculation that ultimately gets him fired.       

Key to Reaching Ceiling: Putting 2023 Behind Them

2023 was a really just a house of horrors for the Giants. Daniel Jones was playing poorly after receiving a new huge multi-year contract in the offseason then eventually tore his ACL. They got waxed by the Cowboys in both meetings. None of their receivers were productive. Wink Martindale's defense couldn't stop damn near anybody. The 3 weeks in late November/early December when they went on a winning streak and everybody became enamored with Tommy DeVito and his agent's goofy hat were kind of nice, but that was only a brief reprieve of light before the darkness crept back in.

As they begin to gear up for the 2024 season, they have the opportunity to put all of the disappointment, pain and aggravation they endured in 2023 behind them. Jones is taking first teams reps at camp and appears to be on track to start Week 1. Shane Bowen has taken over Martindale at DC. There's a new infusion of talent on the roster. This is a team that surprised people with their competitiveness in 2022 and getting back to that level in 2024 is attainable if Daboll can put Jones in a position to succeed and they can make some stops on defense. 

 Bottom Line:   

As talented of a coach as Brian Daboll is, it's hard to be optimistic about this team as currently constructed. 

Philadelphia Eagles 

2023 Record: 11-6 (2nd in NFC East)

Head Coach: Nick Sirianni (4th season)

Notable Additions: RB Saquon Barkley, DE Bryce Huff, S C.J. Gardner-Johnson

Notable Departures: C Jason Kelce (retired), DT Fletcher Cox (retired), RB D'Andre Swift

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Howie Fucking Roseman Did It Again

Having a massive QB contract on the books did nothing to stop Howie Roseman from aggressively addressing the roster this offseason. Within the first 2 days of free agency alone, he brought in Saquon Barkley, Bryce Huff, C.J. Gardner-Johnson, Zack Baun and Matt Hennessey. Roseman kept at it with depth pickups (C.J. Uzomah, Mekhi Becton, Devin White, Oren Burks, Parris Campbell, Max Scharping) the following weeks to sure up some problem areas. Best part about all of these moves is that were all completely reasonable deals, with most of them being 1-year contracts and nobody aside from Huff having an AAV above $13 mil.

As for the draft, Roseman made great use of his limited picks. They ended up landing two of the most highly touted DB prospects in the draft in physical outside corner Quinyon Mitchell and versatile chess piece Cooper DeJean in the top 2 rounds while using the later picks to roll the dice on a number of project players with upside including a raw pass rusher who dominated at the FCS level (Jalyx Hunt), towering receiver who could create some huge matchup problems if he can find ways to gain separation in the pros (Johnny Wilson) and fundamentally sound but undersized linebacker that has a family connection to the organization (Jeremiah Trotter Jr).

The savvy moves didn't end there as Roseman pulled the anti-Jerry Jones by promptly handing out extensions to basically all of the key pieces that were eligible to receive one. A.J. Brown, Jordan Mailata, Landon Dickerson, DeVonta Smith and Jake Elliott all cashed out between the start of free agency in March and the start of the draft in late April, ensuring that there was no tension or discontent among their ranks as they headed into OTA's and camp. He also made the difficult but correct decision to trade away Haason Reddick-who is seeking a new contract-and rely on the group of Josh Sweat, Brandon Graham, Nolan Smith and newcomer Huff to serve as their primary pass rushers.

Having a GM that has a such a strong handle on what the team needs to compete, who should stay in the fold long-term and who can go, etc is such a blessing and Roseman continues to prove his immense value to the Eagles organization every single offseason.      

Biggest Reason for Concern: Coordinator Changes Won't Solve the Problems That Plagued Them Last Season

Nobody would argue that Brian Johnson, Sean Desai and Matt Patricia didn't deserve to get fired following last season. What happened to the Eagles at the end of last year was one of the most stunning sudden tailspins you'll ever see in pro football. The offensive stagnated and the defense couldn't stop anything and there were no major injuries to blame. Shit just stopped working and it showed in their pathetic 1-7 finish to the season that culminated in a 32-9 shellacking in the Wild Card Round at the hands of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

At the same time, it's also hard to argue that these men weren't scapegoated. The effort level was questionable-particularly once the losses started to really pile up and Nick Siranni didn't cover himself in glory as he struggled to make adjustments, instill confidence in his players and was seen arguing with Jalen Hurts on the sidelines several times during this period. 

New hires Kellen Moore and Vic Fangio are great coordinators, but they can't give this team heart and sow the division that appeared to be running through this locker room at the end of the year. Getting things back on track in terms of culture and mindset could prove to be even more difficult as longtime leaders Jason Kelce and Fletcher Cox have now retired. The new coordinators and Siranni have to find a way to bring this team back together and if they can't, we'll know for sure that Johnson, Desai and Patricia weren't the problem after all.         

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Jalen Hurts Expanding His Game

Hurts is one of the most talented QB's in football. He showed that in 2022 when he got a Second Team All-Pro bid, finished 2nd in MVP voting and put together a hell of a performance in a QB duel with Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. That talent wasn't always on display in 2023-particularly down the aforementioned nightmare stretch run. He chucked a career-high 15 INT's, threw for only 157 more yards than he did in 2022 despite playing in 2 more games and saw both his rushing yards (760 to 605) and yards per carry (4.6 to 3.9) totals dip. Was losing OC/playcaller Shane Steichen or teams figuring out how to better to blame for this regression? Probably a bit of both. Steichen's presence was certainly missed as the play calling wasn't as creative under Johnson, but Hurts is also too reliant on RPO's to succeed.

What Moore needs to do to ensure that Hurts can be a long-term star QB is to find ways for him to expand his game. The RPO's and play action passes have worked great for him in the past, but there's a predictability to that is likely going to force diminishing returns as time goes on. He's a strong enough thrower from both the pocket and on the move to do a variety of things back there and the new Kelce-less line should continue to be strong enough to handle whatever assignment they're asked to do. Hurts is at the juncture of his career where he needs to push himself further and I believe that his talent as well as that of those who are surrounding him give him an excellent chance of pulling it off.

Bottom Line:

As discouraging as their finish to 2023 was, I believe that this team has what it takes to get back on track in 2024.     

Washington Commanders

2023 Record: 4-13 (4th in NFC East)

Head Coach: Dan Quinn (1st season)

Notable Additions: DE Dorance Armstrong, OLB Frankie Luvu, RB Austin Ekeler

Notable Departures: CB Kendall Fuller, QB Sam Howell, WR Curtis Samuel

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Jayden Daniels

Ever since they let Kirk Cousins depart in free agency after the 2017 season, Washington has had a huge void at the QB position. Dwayne Haskins, Alex Smith, Taylor Heinicke, Carson Wentz and Ryan Fitzpatrick are just some of the names that have occupied that position since Cousins left town and this carousel hasn't led to much success as they've put together 0 winning seasons and just 1 playoff appearance (2020) over this period. Last season was a particularly exhilarating rush as Sam Howell did his best Jameis Winston impression with his gunslinging antics (his 21 TD/21 INT line is probably the funniest we've seen from a QB since Winston's infamous 30/30 season in 2019) over the course of 17 games. Landing the #2 pick in this year's draft after their dreadful 4-13 finish in 2023 all but ensured that a new QB was coming to Washington in 2024 and any hint of ambiguity towards new GM Adam Peters' plans with that pick went out the window when they traded Howell to the Seahawks in mid-March.

Given the guarantee that DC native Caleb Williams was headed to Chicago at #1, their attention shifted to Jayden Daniels and Drake Maye. While both guys had their fans around the league, Daniels was the favorite to land in Washington after lighting up SEC competition and winning the Heisman during his final year at LSU in 2023. He did indeed end being the guy despite some late drama being added to the equation when he and his camp reportedly got pissed that the Commanders brought in every top QB prospect besides Williams for a visit at the same time as him. 

What Daniels provides Washington with is the most excitement they've had at the QB spot in quite time some time. This kid isn't just a special athlete capable of making game-breaking plays with his legs, he's an exceptionally accurate passer (68.7 CMP% over his final 3 seasons of college) with terrific arm strength. Pairing him with an OC in Kliff Kingsbury who had some success with Kyler Murray in Arizona and a solid group of pass-catchers headed up by Terry McLaurin only increases his chances of getting off to a smooth start as possible in the NFL.           

Biggest Reason for Concern: Jayden Daniels Getting Injured

Of course, Daniels boasts garden variety red flags like 99.9% of QB prospects have coming out of college. His productivity wasn't all that great prior to playing with elite talent at LSU (Daniels was at Arizona State from 2019-21) and he has a lengthy track record of pulling the ball down and running with it before going through all of his progressions as a passer. The most uniquely concerning red flag he has is the way that he runs downfield. Much attention has been paid to the slightness of his frame despite being 6'4, but the bigger issue is that he doesn't really try to avoid contact at all while rushing. Hell, I'd go far to say that he often invites it. Many of the hits I saw on his LSU tape are among the most brutal shots I've seen a QB take at the college level. As we saw just last season, Anthony Richardson-who has considerably more mass than Daniels-got banged up repeatedly and quickly was lost for the season over his refusal to avoid contact as a rusher. Given his frame, it may take even less big shots for Daniels to go down.

Further heightening the injury concern for Daniels is the Commanders offensive line. This group allowed Howell to get sacked a league-high 65 times and hit another 57 a year ago. Those are the kind of numbers that ensure you're not long for this league, just ask David Carr, Tim Couch and fellow Washington QB Robert Griffin III. To be fair, this group is only returning 2 starters from 2023 (right guard Sam Cosmi and right tackle Andrew Wylie) and new center Tyler Biadasz is a clear upgrade over the Nick Gates/Tyler Larsen tandem that held down the fort following the retirement of Chase Roullier. But this still is not a group you can have any real confidence in-especially since the left side of the line consists of Nick Allegretti- a career backup with the Chiefs who largely earned this opportunity to start after stepping in for the injured Joe Thuney in the final 2 games of their championship run last year and either raw rookie Brandon Coleman or journeyman Cornelius Lucas at the blind side tackle spot.

Kingsbury is going to have instill Murray's gift for avoiding contact whenever possible in Daniels or this kid might not even get the opportunity to prove himself in the league.            

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Dan Quinn Elevating This Defense Right Away

A large part of why Dan Quinn got another opportunity to be an NFL head coach was the tremendous work he did as the Cowboys defensive coordinator. Perhaps the most impressive accomplishment of Quinn's 3 years in Dallas was him coming in during the 2021 season and completely flipping around the trajectory of the defense right away. Aside from the hiccup of dipping to 20th in pass defense after finishing 11th in 2020, the group made incredible overall progress going from 28th to 7th in scoring defense to 31st to 16th in rushing defense, and 26th to 2nd in 3rd down defense. Things only got better for them over the following 2 seasons as they got up to the top 5 in scoring defense, passing defense and sacks. 

Quinn will have the opportunity to make that kind of remarkable flip again in Washington as he's inheriting one of the worst defenses in football from a year ago. The Commanders ranked dead last in both scoring and passing defense while faring only slightly better against the run (27th) and in forcing turnovers (tied for 26th). Part of these woes were brought on by ownership waving the white flag early on and electing to deal away Montez Sweat and Chase Young at the trade deadline in October, but their struggled with discipline in coverage, tackling and just generally making impact plays would've persisted even if their top edge rushers remained with the team through the season.

Perhaps the most encouraging thing for Quinn's rebuilding efforts is that there's currently only 4 projected starters returning from the 2023 team (defensive tackles Da'Ron Payne and Jonathan Allen, outside cornerback Benjamin St. Juste, safety Darrick Forrest-who missed the final 12 games of 2023 with a shoulder injury). Not only does it expel the demons of the old, ineffective defense, it means that the inevitable difficulties that come with picking up a new system are less of an issue since most of the starters will be guys that Quinn believes can fit into the scheme him and his DC Joe Whitt are running here.

Speaking of the newcomers, Peters took full advantage of their heaps of cap space to give Quinn as many legit vet building blocks as possible. Dorance Armstrong and Bobby Wagner have already thrived with Quinn in Dallas and Seattle respectively while Frankie Luvu is the kind of instinctive, polished linebacker that has had success in his system over the years (Deion Jones, K.J. Wright). The secondary is a little bit sketchier as Michael Davis was largely just an above average corner during his time with the Chargers, Jeremy Chinn has come back to earth in a major way over the past couple of seasons after a hot start to his career with the Panthers and rookie slot corner Mike Sanistrill is a bit of an enigma at this point despite his impressive play as a throwback thumper DB at Michigan, but they should at the bare minimum provide some more stability at these spots than they had a year ago.

Nobody should expect Quinn and Whitt to get this group up to the top 10 after the way they played last year. But a finish somewhere in the top half of the league in most categories feels attainable and that kind of leap would be great news for this team as they work their way through the major reset process yet again.

Bottom Line:

The Commanders are the NFC's answer to the Patriots: They're not going to make the playoffs, but they could be much better than expected if at least some of the biggest question marks surrounding them end up working out in their favor.         

Predicted Standings:

1.Philadelphia Eagles (12-5)

2.Dallas Cowboys (9-8)

3.Washington Commanders (6-11)

4.New York Giants (5-12)

Karan Soni Ranked

 Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Karan Soni-whose latest project "Deadpool & Wolverine" is in theaters today.

Karan Soni's Filmography Ranked:

15.Like a Boss (C-)

14.Pokemon Detective Pikachu (C)

13.Unicorn Store (C+)

12.Strange World (B-)

11.7 Days (B-)

10.Office Christmas Party (B)

9.Goosebumps (B)

8.Ghostbusters (B)

7.Always Be My Maybe (B)

6.Safety Not Guaranteed (B)

5.Deadpool (B)

4.Not Okay (B)

3.Rough Night (B+)

2.Deadpool 2 (B+)

1.Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (A-)

Top Dog: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Across the Spider-Verse pulled off a mighty impressive feat when it managed to top its beloved predecessor. This standalone animated sensation from Sony puts the MCU's multiverse to shame with its smart approach to universe-hopping that puts the characters (Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy, Peter B.Parker, Spider-Man 2099) and their emotional arcs ahead of legacy cameos and time travel exposition dumps. On top of that, the action sequences, animation and soundtrack/score are all phenomenal. 

Bottom Feeder: Like a Boss (2020)

Studio comedies are so rare these days that it's kind of hard to forget about each one that comes along. Like a Boss is an unfortunate outlier to this rule. Despite noble efforts from stars Rose Byrne, Tiffany Haddish and Salma Hayek to sell its straightforward premise (a pair of best friends fight to get their small beauty company back from the cosmetics magnate that stole it from them), the film has a hard time finding enough jokes to fill its mercifully short 83-minute runtime.     

Most Underrated: Rough Night (2017)

Key Broad City contributors Lucia Aniello and Paul W. Downs made a pretty seamless transition to the feature space with this rowdy bachelorette party comedy that makes several inspired absurd, depraved turns and gives Kate McKinnon the space to be the comedic force of nature that she is. People have really embraced what Aniello and Downs have done on Hacks, so maybe this will get reappraised at some point down the line.

Most Overrated: Deadpool (2016)

Deadpool's vulgar meta lampooning of the superhero genre, Ryan Reynolds' perfectly realized performance as the titular character and the surprisingly sweet love story that sits underneath all of the snarky quips and severed limbs makes it a noteworthy entry into the genre. However, I strongly disagree with this being heralded as one of the best superhero movies of all time. The action is merely decent, Ajax (Ed Skrien) is a flat, forgettable villain and the pacing following its electric opening sequence is pretty erratic-particularly in the second act. I greatly prefer Deadpool 2 as it does everything this one did well along with being filled with more laughs, endearing secondary characters and considerably better action.  

2024 NFL Preview: AFC East

Buffalo Bills:

2023 Record: 11-6 (1st in AFC East)

Head Coach: Sean McDermott (8th season) 

Notable Additions: WR Curtis Samuel, WR Marquez Valdez-Scantling, S Mike Edwards

Notable Departures: WR Stefon Diggs, S Jordan Poyer, CB Tre'Davious White

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Joe Brady Sticking Around

Buffalo's firing of OC Ken Dorsey in mid-November last season was a true shock that kind of reeked of desperation. The Bills were 5-5 at the time and had dropped 4 out of 6 games, but offense really wasn't the problem as the defense had allowed 25.5 points in those 4 losses to teams with mediocre-to-bad-offenses (Patriots, Broncos, Jaguars, Bengals). This move ended up being exactly the jolt the Bills needed to get out of their rut as they went 6-1 after Dorsey's firing and the offense ended up finishing in the top 10 in the league in every important category (6th in scoring offense, 8th in passing YDS, 7th in rushing YDS, 4th in redzone TD%). 

The man responsible for this shift was Joe Brady-who was brought to Buffalo to serve as QB coach prior to the 2022 season after Brian Daboll left to become the Giants head coach. Brady's philosophy was simple: Get the running backs more involved and diversify the passing attack to open things up for Josh Allen to really unleash his dynamic skill set. It worked beautifully as Allen played some of the better football of his career (1,984 scrimmage YDS, 18 total TD's, 60.2 CMP%, 7 INT's-only of 1 which was a multi-INT game) and James Cook emerged as a legit, dual-threat RB1 (507 rushing YDS, 223 receiving YDS and 5 total TD's on 137 touches) during this time. 

Given how the Bills looked down the stretch along with his young "QB Guru" reputation that dates back to his time at LSU with Joe Burrow in 2019, Brady received some head coaching interest and interviewed for the gigs with the Falcons and Chargers. He ended up getting passed over for both jobs and instead got promoted to full-time OC in Buffalo. This is a huge gain for the Bills as they enter a season with the most uncertainty that's surrounded them since at least 2019 and need all the continuity they can possibly find if they hope to remain among the AFC's upper echelon.       

Biggest Reason for Concern: The Insane Roster Turnover They Underwent in the Offseason

The cost of paying guys like Allen, Von Miller and Dion Dawkins paired with concerns about age and the disappointment of another playoff exit at the hand of the Chiefs caused the Bills to cut bait with a lot of players this offseason. Longtime key contributors including Stefon Diggs, Jordan Poyer, Tre'Davious White, Micah Hyde, Gabe Davis, Mitch Morse and Dane Jackson all got booted out of Western New York in the spring. While cutting ties with Diggs was kind of inevitable (and possibly even beneficial) given his public criticisms of the front office and Allen over the past couple of seasons, the rest of these losses are huge for a team that's benefited greatly from having such a deep, established core.

What makes all these roster changes particularly concerning is the plans Brandon Beane has drawn up for replacing them. They should be alright at corner as White was oft-injured, Jackson was primarily a sub-package player and Christian Benford, Rasul Douglas and Taron Johnson have all proven they can play at a pretty high level in this league, but aside from that, it's kind of a scary free-for-all situation. 

At center, they have Connor McGovern sliding over from guard. McGovern hasn't played center at all in the pros and his 1st season away from the Cowboys OL haven last year didn't go so great as he was below average at best in every area besides committing penalties (only 4 on 1,178 snaps).

Receiver poses a daunting set of challenges as Khalil Shakir is the only WR on the roster that has previously caught a pass from Allen and while he's been productive in spot duty, he has some limitations due to his size (6'0, 190lbs). The battle to lineup alongside Shakir should be interesting as Curtis Samuel, Mack Hollins, Marquez Valdez-Scantling and Keon Coleman appear set to battle for the other starting gigs. Samuel has had the most success by far as a pro and boasts a versatility that Brady could do some unique things with but is burdened by a pretty extensive injury history and saw the explosiveness that made him an impact player during his time with the Panthers diminish a bit over the past 3 seasons with the Commanders. Hollins came crashing back to earth in a big way with the Falcons last season after a solid 2022 campaign with the Raiders and will be looking to prove that what he did in Vegas wasn't a fluke. MVS appears set to be the Gabe Davis deep bomb target replacement, which should be a great time for Bills fans as they wonder if he'll make an incredible catch or a hilarious drop on every catchable target. Coleman is the biggest wild card as he displayed impressive body control, physicality and contested catch ability at Florida State last season, but also consistently struggled to separate-which could kneecap his ability to contribute at the pro level.

Safety just might be the biggest problem of the bunch as they lost both starters and as the Bengals proved last season, that can be enough to do some substantial damage to the entire secondary. Taylor Rapp started plenty of games with the Rams, but was flat-out awful as the Bills third safety last year (career-low 2 passes defensed, 5.7 missed tackles, 56.4 overall PFF grade), free agent pickup Mike Edwards is somebody who has only thrived when used as a third option in good secondaries with the Buccaneers and Chiefs and rookie Cole Bishop was a polarizing prospect in this year's thin safety class whose aggression in pursuing the ball is viewed as his biggest strength as well as his biggest weakness.

A lot is going to have to go right for McDermott and his staff to fill all these gaps well, but there are only a handful of teams in the league that are better suited to pull off this difficult task than the Bills.   

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Passing Game Productivity

As I outlined above, receiver is a big question mark given all the turnover at the position and Shakir not really getting a large workload in either of his first 2 seasons in the league. The good news for the Bills is that they do have a pair of assets that are familiar with Allen in Dalton Kincaid and Cook that could help kickstart their new look passing attack. Kincaid started to carve out a significant role in this offense from late October through the playoffs-registering 5+ targets and 3+ receptions in 11 of the final 13 games the Bills played last year while Cook finished last season with 445 YDS on just 44 receptions. There's enough positive data out there to believe that both of these guys could really pop with a bigger workload, and it would be really surprising if they weren't at the top of the target totem pole every time they're on the field.

Of course, it's going to take contributions from beyond Kincaid and Cook for this offense to remain one of the most dynamic passing attacks in the league. Shakir is the main guy to watch as he racked up 611 YDS on 39 catches last year and caught a whopping 86.7% of the targets that came his way. He's a tough, physical receiver with underrated YAC and route-running ability, so it wouldn't be surprising at all if he had a breakout year.

Samuel is the other guy that will have real expectations to contribute right away. His ability to lineup in the backfield could make him a serious weapon in the screen game and Brady might even be able to draw up some creative plays that can get him open downfield. 

Ultimately, who's catching the passes doesn't matter as much as the passes actually getting caught. Allen is far too dynamic of a player for this to be forced turn into a run-first team on account of shaky receiver play and the emergence of reliable pass-catchers is the only thing that can stop that from happening.  

Bottom Line:  

While a regression seems likely considering all of the talent they lost on both sides of the ball, Josh Allen and their defense should be strong enough to keep them in the playoff mix.

Miami Dolphins

2023 Record: 11-6 (2nd in AFC East)

Head Coach: Mike McDaniel (3rd season)

Notable Additions: S Jordan Poyer, CB Kendall Fuller, DE Calias Campbell

Notable Departures: DT Christian Wilkins, G Robert Hunt, OLB Andrew Van Ginkel

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Their Offensive Dynamism Remaining Intact

As many of the top AFC teams deal with key losses to their offense heading into the 2024, the Dolphins were able to mostly stand pat. Jaylen Waddle signed an extension to keep him with the team through the 2028 season. Raheem Mostert re-upped for another 2 seasons after his ridiculous 2023 campaign. De'Von Achane is fully healthy coming into camp. Tyreek Hill will look to finally break the single season receiving in his age 30 season after clearing 1,700 YDS in each of his first 2 seasons in Miami. And the cherry on top, Odell Beckham Jr. signed in free agency with the hopes that playing in Mike McDaniel's system will get him back to the level of productivity he showed in 2021 during his brief stint with the Rams. Competing with the sheer speed, home run-hitting ability and versatility of this offense is so difficult, and that deep arsenal of offensive talent is what makes the Dolphins one of the scariest teams in the league. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: Switching the Defensive Scheme/System for a 3rd Straight Year

Despite putting together back-to-back winning seasons and playoff appearances, defense has continued to be a huge problem for the Dolphins. Brian Flores holdover Josh Boyer struggled to repeat the success they had under his former boss as they finished 24th in the league in scoring defense back in 2022. Things surprisingly didn't get much better under noted virtuoso DC Vic Fangio as the team struggled to pick up his complex system and finished 22nd in scoring defense last season. What has made these struggles over the past 2 seasons even more confusing is that this unit isn't without talent. Christian Wilkins, Andrew Van Ginkel, Jalen Ramsey, Jevon Holland, Bradley Chubb, Jalean Phillips and Kader Kohou are all really gifted players that have played well during at least one of these seasons, but their strong play didn't elevate the broader unit much for whatever reason.

  Fangio and the Dolphins agreed to mutually part ways after the season, which means the Dolphins are now on their 3rd DC during McDaniel's 3 seasons in charge. Just like with Fangio in 2023, the Dolphins were able to land arguably the hottest name on the market in Anthony Weaver. Weaver's stock skyrocketed following the 2023 season where the Ravens fielded one of the best defenses in recent NFL history and his work as the defensive line coach was a key part of that dominance as he helped Justin Madubuike put together a career year that earned him a spot on the All-Pro team and Michael Pierce return to form following a rough stretch from 2020-22 defined by injuries, erratic play and sitting out on account of COVID.

There are however a few things that put a bit of a dark cloud around Weaver's hiring. For starters, Mike Macdonald was the primary architect of the Ravens defensive dominance and that's why he landed a head coaching gig with the Seahawks while Weaver was only able to land a DC gig elsewhere. Then, there's the kind of buried fact that he has previous DC experience with the Texans in 2020, where he oversaw a bottom 6 overall defense that ranked dead last against the run, allowed a whopping 42 total TD's and only netted 3 INT's in 16 games. Lastly, there's the tough blow of losing Wilkins, Van Ginkel, Jerome Baker and DeShon Elliott in free agency.

The biggest thing for Weaver and these players is getting them ready to go. Many of these guys are learning a new system for the 3rd straight year and as talented as this returning bunch is, that's a ton to ask of anyone. Maybe having some more seasoned vets in Jordan Poyer, Kendall Fuller, Calias Campbell and Anthony Walker Jr. entering the fold will help ease the transition, but there are going to be a lot of eyeballs on Weaver and if he fails to crack the code with this bunch, he probably won't get a 3rd shot to be a DC in the NFL.        

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Not Shitting Out in January (Again)

What makes the Dolphins so scary during the regular season is what has made them an easy out in January: They're a finesse team that requires perfect conditions for their speed-and-athleticism-driven game to thrive. Take them out of the comfy confines of South Florida or a domed stadium, get physical with them and/or apply some pressure to Tua Tagovailoa and they unravel faster than dollar store toilet paper. How do they change their DNA? Beats me, especially since their offense is basically the same save for Aaron Brewer stepping in for Robert Hunt on the o-line and a new defensive scheme can't really fix the lack of these core attributes, but they're going to have to try and do something different. Maybe McDaniel can start running Oklahoma drills at camp or do insane running drills in the brutal heat? Regardless of what it is, something needs to change in the way they do business in big games, or this team will be heading home with their heads hung in shame for a 3rd straight January.        

Bottom Line:

Barring injuries or unexpected mass regression from Tua, they should once again win a lot of games in the regular season. The playoffs are a different story entirely as I remain unconvinced that they have the resolve and grit to shine on that stage. 

New England Patriots

2023 Record: 4-13 (4th in AFC East)

Head Coach: Jerod Mayo (1st season)

Notable Additions: QB Jacoby Brissett, RB Antonio Gibson, T Chukwuma Okorafor

Notable Departures: QB Mac Jones, RB Ezekiel Elliott, T Trent Brown

Biggest Reason for Excitement: A True New Chapter is Beginning

2023 was such a disaster for the Patriots that it led to the seemingly unthinkable happening: Bill Belichick getting shitcanned. What Belichick meant to this organization for the past 20+ years made this a difficult decision for Robert Kraft, but it was ultimately the right one. Belichick's approach to coaching and roster-building doesn't fit the mold of the modern NFL, which is further evidenced by his 29-38 record over his final 4 Brady-less seasons in New England.

Does this mean Jerod Mayo and Eliot Wolf are going to right the ship? Not at all, but they are bringing some a much-needed new ideology to the table and it's already shown in their approach to this offseason. They drafted an athletic, big-armed QB in Drake Maye at #3 overall, re-signed or extended nearly all of their key young pieces (Christian Barmore, Kyle Dugger, Mike Onwenu, Rhamondre Stevenson, Jahlani Tavai, Josh Uche, Anfernee Jennings) that were eligible for new contracts and even made a real offer to the most expensive WR on the free agent market (Calvin Ridley) and inquired about Brandon Aiyuk's availability in a trade before the draft in April! The pilgrim hats have officially been thrown away at Patriot Place, which should excite Pats fans that have been burdened by Belichick's late era ineffectiveness for far too long.      

Biggest Reason for Concern: Alex Van Pelt's Inexperience as a Playcaller

Once news came out that Mayo was getting promoted to HC in January, the focus soon shifted to who he was going to bring on as OC. This saga drew out for many weeks as the Pats lost out on a few top candidates early on (Shane Waldron, Zac Robinson, Liam Coen), flirted with bringing back former employees (Josh McDaniels, Nick Caley, Chad O'Shea) and even didn't rule out the return of Bill O'Brien after his dismal 2023 campaign until he accepted an assistant job at Ohio State that he left in short order to take the HC gig at Boston College once it became available in early February. Ultimately, they landed on the surprise choice of Alex Van Pelt. The former journeyman backup QB has been assistant coach in the NFL since 2006 and most recently served as the Browns OC and QB coach for 4 seasons before being fired following their playoff loss to the Texans in the Wild Card round in January. Van Pelt's relationship with Wolf from their time together with the Packers from 2012-17 is believed to have been a key factor in him landing the gig.

What's strange about Van Pelt is that he's been an OC for 5 total seasons and only called plays in one of them and that was all the way back in 2009 when he was the Bills OC during Dick Jauron's final year there. Having a guy that hasn't regularly called plays in 16 seasons (he famously called the plays in the 2020 Wild Card Game versus the Steelers when HC Kevin Stefanski was out with COVID) as the OC is pretty alarming, particularly for a team that employed longtime defensive coach Matt Patricia as an OC just 2 years ago. Sure, he was intimately involved in game planning with the Browns and has worked extensively with QB's across multiple stops around the league since then, but that's not the same as running an offense and all of the nuances that come with it over the course of a game. 

As for the actual system he'll run, it'll likely mirror the running game and play action-driven attack that Stefanski ran in Cleveland. While the scheme isn't exactly electric, it can be very effective when it's executed well and it's not impossible to envision a scenario where this youth-driven Patriots group can make it work. Van Pelt has the luxury of dealing with zero expectations for this season as the Pats are rebuilding and will likely be using some combination of journeyman stopgap vet Jacoby Brissett and Maye at QB, but there will still be a lot of attention played to the kind of offense he builds here in his first opportunity to really establish his own system.        

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Offensive Line Play

 I sincerely think the Patriots are in a pretty good spot to overachieve this season. Their defense-which surprisingly ranked in the top half of the league in nearly every major category during 2023 despite their porous offense-has a ton of continuity both on the field and among the coaching staff as all 11 projected starters played significant snaps when healthy last season and Mayo promoted longtime defensive line coach Demarcus Covington to DC. The potential for Brissett or Maye to give them considerably more than they got from the tandem of Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe during their anemic 2023 campaign is extremely high, even with Van Pelt's inexperience as a playcaller. While they're still lacking a true #1, an injection of new blood with size and speed at receiver (K.J. Osborn, Ja'Lynn Polk, Javon Baker-the latter two of whom are pretty highly touted rookie prospects) alongside the sure-handed slot threat Demario "Pop" Douglas and solid returning vet Kendrick Bourne-who is still recovering from the torn ACL that ended his 2023 campaign and likely won't return until October at the earliest-should open things up quite a bit for them in the passing game.

This whole potential modest pleasant surprise take is contingent on one thing: How this somewhat overhauled offensive line comes together. A slew of injuries, Trent Brown's unpredictable effort/availability and downright horrible play from their miscellaneous bunch of injury fill-ins including Atonio Mafi, Vederian Lowe and Conor McDermott contributed to this group being pretty consistently horrendous a year ago. Health isn't as much of issue this year at the moment as only Cole Strange-who is still on the mend from the patellar tendon tear he suffered in December versus the Chiefs-is on the shelf to start camp, but new OL coach Scott Peters has a couple of very tough situations to navigate.

Let's start with the pieces that are locked in: stalwart veteran center David Andrews is back for his 10th season in Foxboro, Onwenu appears set to shift over to right tackle full-time after filling in there periodically during his first four seasons in the league and Sidy Sow-who had a nice finish to his rookie year after a rough start-will take over for Onwenu at right guard. That's a solid enough group anchoring the line where the overall unit should at the very least not be a complete disaster as long as all of them remain on the field.

With Strange likely out to start the year, the entire left side of the line is in flux. The top candidates to take over for Strange at left guard are Mafi, which is fucking horrendous news since he allowed 5 sacks on 458 snaps last year and posted a dismal 32.3 grade on PFF and rookie Layden Robinson-who has been widely billed as a developmental project with questionable pass-blocking ability. Great stuff! 

An even bigger point of concern is left tackle. As unreliable as Trent Brown was during his time here, he did at the very least look like a real starting left tackle most of the time he played. That solid floor doesn't exist with either candidate for the left tackle gig this year. The veteran option is Chukwuma Okorafor-who logged 59 starts at RT for the Steelers from 2018-23, but was never really better than average while the rookie option is Caedan Wallace-who was the starting RT at Penn State for 4 years, but never really popped in college and was viewed as a serious reach at the top of the 3rd round where the Pats selected him. While Okorafor's experience should give him the inside track for the job for now, Wallace feels like the more moldable piece since he's yet to play in the pros. Regardless, neither are ideal options for a rebuilding team that could get a QB or two irreparably damaged if their LT sucks shit. How Peters fares in his mission to build a respectable OL could be the difference between a QB playing awful or decent and that will likely be what determines whether this team wins 3-4 or 6-7 games.        

Bottom Line:

While they don't have nearly enough talent to make a playoff push this year, the Patriots could surprise some people if their offense comes together, and the defense remains as stingy as they've been over the past couple of seasons.

New York Jets

2023 Record: 7-10 (3rd in AFC East)

Head Coach: Robert Saleh (4th season)

Notable Additions: DE Haason Reddick, T Tyron Smith, T Morgan Moses

Notable Departures: DE Bryce Huff, S Jordan Whitehead, DE John Franklin-Myers

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Tyrod Taylor is Now the Backup QB

It only took 4 offensive plays for the 2023 Jets season to come to an end following Aaron Rodgers Achillies tear and they spent the remaining 16.98 games trotting out the dream team of Zach Wilson, Trevor Siemian and Tim Boyle at QB. Despite their QB's posting a combined 3,362 YDS/11 TD's/ 15 INT's/10 lost fumbles on the year, they were able to win 7 games on account of their elite defense and respectable running game led by Breece Hall. They needed an insurance policy who could effectively manage games if something went wrong with Rodgers again and that's just what they got in Tyrod Taylor.

Few active QB's radiate as much boring stopgap/backup QB energy than Taylor. He's a relatively accurate passer (61.7 career CMP%, 64.4 last season in 12 appearances/5 starts with the Giants), boasts a very good TD/INT split (65/29) and is mobile enough to give you a little something in the rushing game if need be (2,268 YDS on 404 career attempts). Typically, he's been on teams that don't have a ton of talent, so stepping onto a Jets roster that has an elite WR in Garrett Wilson, a home run-hitting back in Hall and one of the best defenses in the league would be a dream come true for the grizzled journeyman. This man's unsexy steadiness spearheading a playoff run could make him the hero Jets fans deserve and the only thing standing in the way of this happening is a lazy, entitled 40-year-old coming off a major injury.       

Biggest Reason for Concern: Aaron Rodgers

Rodgers' tenure with the Jets was always destined to be a disaster. Did people just forget who the Jets are when he ended up there? A Hall of Fame resume accomplished elsewhere is no match for the perpetual pain that East Rutherford serves up for the Green and Black, just ask Brett Favre-whose only notable accomplishment during his 1 season there was sexually harassing Jenn Sterger. 

Being bullish on Rodgers heading into last season was one thing. He was 2 years removed from an MVP season and his down year in 2022 could be chalked up to him being disgruntled with Packers brass. But what reason is there to believe that everything will be great this year? We're talking about a 40, going on 41-year-old man with known work ethic concerns playing for arguably the most cursed franchise in the league that's accomplished everything a professional football player would ever want to accomplish coming off a major injury that has derailed the careers of much younger players. Treating his return as this lightning rod that will immediately propel the Jets into contention is quite frankly hilarious. He cares more about smoking DMT in the forests of Peru and having Pat McAfee at his 16-minute explanation of why reptilians were commanded to do 9/11 by George Soros than playing football at this point in his life and this injury has only intensified this feeling a zillion times over (he went to Egypt during OTA's for fuck's sake and didn't even bother to tell the team first!). The Jets have always been nothing more than a glorified retirement tour for Rodgers and they'll never win a fucking thing with him at the helm.       

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Offensive Line Health/Play

Investing in the offensive line was easily the smartest thing the Jets did this offseason. Running it back yet again was simply not an option and GM Joe Douglas was aggressive in his approach to overhaul their personnel. Douglas got the ball rolling with acquiring veteran right tackle Morgan Moses from the Ravens in a trade, then proceeded to pick up 5x All-Pro left tackle Tyron Smith and 5th year guard John Simpson in free agency and wrapped up their offseason of o-line additions by drafting Penn State left tackle Olu Fashanu with the 11th overall pick. Smith, Moses and Simpson are expected to start alongside incumbent left guard Alijah Vera-Tucker and center Joe Tipmann while Fashanu is expected to serve as a swing tackle/backup for Smith. 

The problem with this plan is that in true Jets fashion, there's a lot of room for it go horribly wrong without stretching too far. Simpson got cut by the Raiders in December 2022 before reviving his career last year with a solid-ish season with the Ravens. Moses is 33 and missed time with injury for the first time since his rookie year in 2014 last season. Smith hasn't played a full season since 2015 and appeared in single digit games in both 2020 and 2022. Fashanu is among my favorite left tackle prospects in recent years, but he is pretty raw at the moment and could struggle during his initial NFL action. As for the returning Jets, Vera-Tucker has only played in 28 games through 3 NFL seasons and Tipmann was just alright in his 14 starts as a rookie. Nobody is denying how good this group could be if it all come together, but that is a big if considering the track records of these men (especially Smith and Vera-Tucker) and the Jets of it all. 

Bottom Line:

As the great Kevin Garnett once said, "Anything is Possibleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". However, I would be stunned if this was the year where everything finally came together for the talent-rich but idiotic and cursed Jets.

Projected Standings:

1.Miami Dolphins (11-6)

2.Buffalo Bills (10-7)

3.New York Jets (8-9)

4.New England Patriots (6-11)

2024 NFL Preview Series: Release Schedule

Training Camp SZN is upon us in the NFL, which means my annual NFL preview series is gearing up to start again. Here's what the tentative schedule looks like as of today:

This week: AFC East

Next week: NFC East 

Week of August 5th: AFC North, NFC North

Week of August 12th: AFC South

Week of August 19th: NFC South

Week of August 26th: AFC West

Week of September 2nd: NFC West

Barring unforeseen circumstances, each piece should be released on Tuesday or Wednesday every week except for August 5th-where pieces should be released on Tuesday and Thursday and the 19th-where it should be out on Thursday. This is one of the most fun endeavors I embark on every year, and I can't wait to get back into it when I start drafting up the AFC East piece in a matter of minutes. Check back tomorrow for some Bills, Dolphins, Jets and Patriots takes that may or may not surprise, infuriate or delight you!  

Thanks,  

Chris Maitland

  

Movie Review: Twisters

Uttering some variation of "They don't make movies like this anymore!" nearly every time Hollywood releases something that isn't a superhero movie or some Blumhouse-backed supernatural horror flick is becoming a cliche during the 2020's, but seriously when the fuck was the last time something like Twisters came out? Disaster movies have essentially turned into this relic of the 90's/00's following a string of misfires in the 2010's including Pompeii, The Finest Hours and Deepwater Horizon killed any interest the major studios had in regularly producing them. The last proper entry in the genre was 2020's Greenland and that didn't even get a theatrical release in most countries including the US on account of the COVID lockdowns and 2015's San Andreas is the only title in the past decade that went onto be a hit. Best of all, Twisters doesn't just mark a return to the disaster genre, it's about as good as anything that came out of it during its heyday.

What's particularly appealing about Twisters is how much of an old school blockbuster feel it has. It's the kind of film that you would see on HBO or TNT a zillion times and at least contemplate watching a few minutes of every time it showed up on the listings. There's no pre-existing knowledge of Twister required to watch it. No more than 3 characters from the ensemble of a dozen or so storm chasers the film follows are developed beyond a single personality trait, but it doesn't really matter since the actors playing them are able to make them likable or detestable. The storytelling and pacing are efficient to the point where not a single frame is wasted. All of the tornado sequences deliver a good amount of peril, destruction and pure entertaining spectacle. Is Twisters some kind of masterful achievement? Not at all, it's just the kind of sturdy, fun albeit unremarkable blockbuster filmmaking that we don't see very often anymore. Thank you to Lee Isaac Chung for making a movie that's nostalgic for a certain type of film instead of a specific IP. Your next big paycheck will be well-deserved and hopefully whoever writes it will grant you the space to make it the way you want to make it like Universal and WB did here.                   

Grade: B

Movie Review: Fly Me to the Moon

For all of the moving parts that are driving the high concept of Fly Me to the Moon, it's really a romantic movie at heart. Romantic about the vast wonders of space and the remarkable achievement of putting a man on the moon. Romantic about a time where American exceptionalism was a pillar of the nation. Romantic about an era where movie stars were the beating heart of Hollywood. While the former two concepts are representative of an idealistic worldview that can't possibly exist in the 2020's without nuclear-grade optimism or delusion, the latter one is what saves from Fly Me to the Moon from being a noble failure. 

The movie stars that make the magic happen here are none other than old pros Scarlett Johannson and Channing Tatum. Not only do the pair bring a ton of magnetism to the screen regardless of who they're sharing scenes with, they effortlessly slide into the whole sentimental, wide-eyed 60's aesthetic Fly Me to the Moon is going for. There's a real warmth in the air whenever they're on screen and the whimsical breeziness that comes with watching their characters and relationship grow (Tatum plays a buttoned-up veteran NASA launch director while Johansson is a brilliant marketing specialist with a questionable moral compass hired by the government to help sell the American public on the moon landing) against the pressure-filled backdrop of the Space Race makes it pretty easy to forgive the middling execution of the alternate history dramedy that's going on around them. It's kind of a shame that these two got paired up for the first time in something that is otherwise pretty forgettable, but it's a terrific lead actor pairing nonetheless and may their efforts to save this film from mediocrity be the inspiration a casting director needs to reunite them for a more exciting project in the future.                    

Grade: B-

Peter Segal Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Peter Segal, whose latest project "My Spy: The Eternal City" releases on Prime Video tomorrow. 

Peter Segal's Filmography Ranked:

10.Second Act (D+)

9.The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (D+)

8.Grudge Match (C+)

7.Anger Management (C+)

6.50 First Dates (B)

5.My Spy (B)

4.The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (B)

3.Get Smart (B)

2.The Longest Yard (B+)

1.Tommy Boy (B+)

Top Dog: Tommy Boy (1995)

Chris Farley didn't get many chances to take his talents to the big screen before he died, but he was able to hit one home run with those opportunities. Tommy Boy was the perfect vehicle for his brand of chaotic, silly humor as he played a lovable idiot and got to play off his longtime comedy partner David Spade-who probably doesn't get enough credit for how much he contributed to the laughs here.    

Bottom Feeder: Second Act (2018)

Despite a serviceable effort from Jennifer Lopez in the lead role, Second Act is a corny, contrived dramedy that never even comes close to selling its premise of a big box store employee in her late 40's (Lopez) who suddenly gets hired by a major cosmetics company after her godson (Alan Aisenberg) creates her a new, embellished resume online in the wake of her getting unfairly passed up for a work promotion.       

Most Underrated: The Longest Yard (2005) 

Following Adam Sandler's legendary run that he closed out the 90's on (Billy Madison, Happy Gillmore, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Big Daddy), things started to get pretty rough for the Sandman as the quality of his comedies became much more erratic at the dawn of the new millennium and eventually it got to the point where he left the theatrical space for Netflix in late 2015. One of the select few comedies of his released during the 21st century that I find to be at least pretty close to the level of his starmaking 90's run is The Longest Yard. Reuniting with his old SNL pal Chris Rock, filling out the supporting cast with some legit scene stealers (Terry Crews, Bob Sapp, original star Burt Reynolds) and having a pair of diabolical villains (William Fitchner, James Cromwell) at the center of the story did wonders for Sandler's efforts to put his own spin on the 1974 cult classic.    

Most Overrated: None

Segal has made exactly 2 movies (Tommy Boy, 50 First Dates) that are viewed highly enough to even flirt with meeting the overrated criteria and I don't disagree with the praise that either of them received. Congrats on your perfect journeyman comedy director career Mr. Segal.   

Movie Review: Longlegs

In the age of the internet, Longlegs may be the closest the world ever gets to seeing another Blair Witch Project. While no one was questioning whether or not it was a documentary, Longlegs was able to mimic Blair Witch's ability to generate interest in the film without anybody ever really learning anything about it. Neon cleverly marketed the film with a string of vague teasers and creative viral stunts like sending out a phone number that played creepy messages from the titular serial killer portrayed by Nicolas Cage when somebody called it and putting coded messages in The Seattle Times dating all the way back to early February. This slowly escalating, largely ambiguous ad campaign along with a flood of glowing reviews that started in May when Neon screened the film early for genre critics/influencers created a level of prerelease buzz that was extraordinary. Once Longlegs got out in the world and the veil of mysteriousness got shattered, the reactions were understandably divisive as the film had to contend with the bad end of the double-edged sword it created by selling a movie solely on an aura of creepiness and arguably hyperbolic praise, but the campaign served its purpose to get in butts seats masterfully as it's already well on its way to becoming the most successful film in the indie distributor's 8-year history. 

What I will say to anyone reading this that has yet to see Longlegs is try your best to erase all of the positive things you've heard about it from your mind before you sit down to watch it. Going in expecting some kind of terrifying masterpiece that will cause you to have 36 heart attacks and disrupt your sleep pattern for the next 7 years because your so god damn disturbed by what you witnessed on screen will almost certainly cause some degree of disappointment, especially if you're unfamiliar with the stylings of writer/director Oz Perkins (The Blackcoat's Daughter, Gretel & Hansel). It's a bleak slow burn of a movie that is also every bit as much of a procedural mystery as it is a horror film. There will be people that really gel with what Perkins is doing here and others that will be calling this movie trash every time someone invokes its name for the rest of time. Your feelings may even fluctuate between these two sides as the film unfolds and the answers to its mystery are provided! I know it can be difficult to tune out the noise when people won't stop praising something, but being able to do so will allow you to enter Longlegs with the clear eyes you need to fairly assess the film.

As somebody who despised all of Perkins' previous work behind the camera, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Longlegs. The movie is never quite able to match the chilling dread of its opening 15 minutes where the audience is provided with disturbing introductions to both Cage-who extends his recent hot streak with a deeply unsettling knockout performance and protagonist Agent Lee Harker (the reliably good scream queen Maika Monroe) before it really leans into the FBI's investigation of the Longlegs killings and the "big" reveals surrounding the murders give way to a deeply silly final act that does some significant damage to the ominous spell Perkins casts, but the hopelessness of the world is so suffocating that its sins can be (somewhat) forgiven. 

With its stoic people, pronounced lack of color and the constant threat of gruesome violence surrounding every corner, this is a world where everything is fucked up and nobody seems to care. A serial killer has terrorized an Oregon community for decades and everybody has just accepted that darkness rules over them. There's no mourning for the dead or solace for the living, just the piercing void of emptiness washing over everyone that has yet to find themselves murdered in their own homes. The actual meat of the story here is very tropey and predictable, but the bleakness of its world and how strongly its conveyed through sight, sound and mood is what makes Longlegs a worthy addition to the serial killer horror flick library.                                            

Grade: B

Ray Romano Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Ray Romano-whose latest project "Fly Me to the Moon" arrives in theaters today. 

Ray Romano's Filmography Ranked:

9.Welcome to Mooseport (D-)

8.Ice Age: The Meltdown (C-)

7.Rob the Mob (B-)

6.Ice Age (B-)

5.Paddleton (B)

4.Somewhere in Queens (B)

3.Bad Education (B+)

2.The Irishman (B+)

1.The Big Sick (A-)

Top Dog: The Big Sick (2017)

The Big Sick marks the sad end of an era in a way as it was one of the final films to get picked up by a studio following its Sundance debut and go on to find commercial success. Thankfully, it's more than deserving of this bittersweet honor. Kumail Nanjiani and his wife Emily V. Gordon's dramatized retelling of their own unique love story does a great job of blending sweet, hilarious romantic comedy with some pretty heavy dramatic elements without ever feeling disjointed or emotionally manipulative.      

Bottom Feeder: Welcome to Mooseport (2004)

Many of the all-time greats stick around for long enough where they end up going out on a low note. Tom Brady got blown out by the Dallas Cowboys on his own home field in his last NFL game. Michael Jordan was part of a sub.500 Washington Wizards that didn't qualify for the playoffs in his final NBA Season. Sean Connery said au revoir to movies after starring in blockbuster flop The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  

Gene Hackman followed this path when he ended up finishing off his acting career in Welcome to Mooseport. Odds are if you're reading this, you probably haven't seen this film (or even heard of it), so let me provide a quick synopsis. Welcome to Mooseport is a political comedy from Donald Petrie (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Miss Congeniality) about a heated small town Maine mayoral election between a former United States President (Hackman) and local hardware store owner (Romano). The whole affair feels like an overlong sitcom episode and not even a good one like the one Romano was in at the time of Mooseport's release. The jokes are hokey as shit, the pacing is brutal for the genre and every actor (especially Hackman) looks embarrassed to be there. Tough way to end a career Mr. Hackman, but at least you solidified your greatness by going out with a HOF dud.            

Most Underrated: Bad Education (2020)

A true crime movie this entertaining getting relegated to a quiet linear cable/streaming release in the spring of 2020 is really unfortunate. Bad Education tells the story of how a superintendent (Hugh Jackman) and assistant superintendent (Allison Janney) successfully stole millions from their wealthy Long Island school district in the early 2000's, only to get caught by a student journalist (Geraldine Viswanathan) assigned to write a piece on the high school's proposal to build a new skywalk for the school newspaper. It's a crazy, often very funny story of greed and corruption that takes several unexpected turns and features one of the best performances that Jackman has ever turned in. Check it out on Max if you haven't seen it.          

Most Overrated: Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)

While not completely unwatchable, Ice Age: The Meltdown showed early on that these characters and the slapstick antics of side character/franchise mascot Scrat the Squirrel weren't strong enough for this film to make the jump from good movie to good franchise.    

Stray Observations and Takes on 2024 NBA Free Agency

Typically, I do an annual piece profiling my picks for the 10 best players available in NBA Free Agency. I'd planned to do that again on the Friday (June 28th) after the Draft wrapped up, but after OG Anunoby and Nic Claxton signed their new deals ahead of the start of the Draft on that Wednesday, I basically panicked and expected that all of the heavy hitters were going to be off the market within the following 24 hours. That ended up not being the case, but by the time I realized that it was too late to move forward with the piece.

Now, we arrive at my solution to this self-imposed misstep: Offering some analysis on the biggest moves of free agency and where certain teams stand now that most of the action has come to an end. I hope you enjoy this loosely structured piece and sincerely apologize for the boneheaded screwup that I made a couple weeks back.

-High trade price point aside, Mikal Bridges is a perfect fit on the Knicks. Adding an elite 3-and-D wing to one of the best defensive teams in the NBA is almost unfair and his rapport with Jalen Brunson, Josh Hart and Donte DiVincenzo is obviously elite since they all played together at Villanova. Playing under Thibs is definitely going to fuck up his absurd consecutive games played streak, but that won't be a big deal unless it gets broken due to a major injury.

-The Sixers pushing all their chips on Paul George is just hilarious. Yes, George represents a huge upgrade over Tobias Harris at the 3 on both ends of the floor and is coming off his best season in ages with the Clippers. But the reality is that George just turned 34 in May, is one of the most injury-prone players in the league and hasn't even come close to sniffing a title in the NBA. How is a player like this going to change the Joel Embiid-era Sixers track record of underachieving and/or having their playoff runs derailed by injuries? Quite simply, it won't. If anybody is going to change the Sixers culture, it's going to be the young gun Tyrese Maxey, not George.

-A lot of people that know much more basketball about me are lamenting Demar DeRozan going to the Kings. The common theme among these critiques is questioning how he fits next to De'Aaron Fox, Domantas Sabonis, Malik Monk and Keegan Murray. While I have no clue how he'll fit with their established core, bringing in DeRozan should still be a net positive for this team that is trying to establish itself in a deep Western Conference. He plays his ass off every night, scores at a high clip with remarkable efficiency and is one of the best locker room guys in the league. How could having him around for the next few years be a bad thing for a mostly young team that hasn't quite figured out to put it all together yet? 

-The Thunder's two big moves this offseason sit at complete opposite ends of the spectrum for me. On the positive end, landing Alex Caruso is huge for them. He's one of the best defenders at the guard position in the league and his ability to hit 3's at a high clip should bolster the effectiveness of an offense that regularly struggled to make outside shots last season. Only having to part with Josh Giddey to make the deal happen makes it even sweeter (I could write a whole lot about what the Bulls have been doing this offseason, but that's probably not necessary given their current status in the league). 

On the other end, lies the signing of Isaiah Hartenstein. The journeyman center was a nice story for the Knicks last season given how he admirably filled-in as a starter following the injuries to Julius Randle and Mitchell Robinson and his status as a physical 7-footer who can rebound and has a soft touch around the rim should provide the Thunder with something they haven't had since they traded Steven Adams to the Pelicans following the 2019-20 season, but were his contributions to the Knicks valuable enough to make him worth a 3 year/$87 mil deal? He was basically just a 10th or 11th man before 2023-24 and he wasn't good enough this past season to quell the fears that he could regress back to being that level of player in the future. This deal kind of reminds of when Evan Turner got a huge deal from the Blazers after he served as a solid role player for the Celtics for a couple of seasons and pretty much immediately fizzled out when he was thrust into a heightened role. While there's clearly enough ascending young talent on the Thunder for him to not be asked to be a top-tier contributor, he's still going to be high enough in the rotation to be playing big minutes every night and I'm just not convinced he's cut out to do that in the long-term.        

-Given all their asset mismanagement in recent years, the Warriors being able to land Kyle Anderson and Buddy Hield is a noble effort to make the most out of a bad situation. Anderson brings some grit, toughness and leadership to the floor every night while Hield is a productive enough outside shooter to allow them to retain the floor spacing they're losing with Klay Thompson leaving. These moves might not make them contenders again per say, but their presence might help emerge.

-Klay Thompson heading to the Mavericks really is ideal. Playing next to Luka and Kyrie ensures that all he'll be asked to do is hit a few spot-up 3's per game and his deteriorating defensive effort will fit right in alongside the aforementioned stars in the backcourt.

-Congrats to Tobias Harris for finally fulfilling his dream of getting to pad stats on one of the worst teams in the league. He might even become a fan favorite during his second stint in Detroit considering how dire the shooting is on the Pistons roster!         

-What is currently happening to Brandon Ingram is a perfect early example of how this new CBA is going to make teams more gun shy than ever. Under a climate with more cap flexibility and/or less strict financial penalties for hitting luxury tax thresholds, Ingram would've been dealt out of New Orleans weeks ago. Wings that are right in the middle of their primes (he turns 27 in September) who can score in a variety of ways, shoot almost 50% from the floor and facilitate when called upon are among the most valuable players an NBA team can have. The problem is that Ingram is entering the last year of his current contract and is eligible for a 200+ mil max deal, which dampens his appeal considerably especially since he has minimal playoff experience and is coming off a dud of a series against the Thunder (to be fair, he was dealing with a bone bruise on his knee at the time). The only two possible outcomes at this point appear to be that he remains with the Pelicans for the final year of his deal or agrees to take less than max money and/or a shorter-term deal to help facilitate a trade to a wing-needy team like the Magic, Blazers or Cavaliers. This is probably the most interesting storyline to watch for the remainder of the offseason and I'm very curious to see how it concludes.

-Kentavious Caldwell-Pope going to the Magic has to be my favorite move of the offseason. This is exactly the kind of player Orlando needed to take their next step forward. KCP immediately gives them a real outside shooting threat and pairing him with Jalen Suggs basically guarantees that they're going to have the most tenacious defensive backcourt in the league outside of the Celtics. If KCP stays healthy and their young guys (Paolo Banchero, Franz Wagner, Suggs) take another step forward, the Magic should be competing to finish in the top 3 in the East.

-Speaking of KCP, the Nuggets allowing him and Bruce Brown to walk in back-to-back seasons is very bold. While they clearly have confidence in Christian Braun and Peyton Watson's ability to handle the increase in workload, these guys have logged a combined 16 career starts and have only played 18-21 minutes per night during their first two seasons in the league. And even if they do acclimate well to their increased roles, that doesn't change the Nuggets depth issues once you get past the 6th man role (which would presumably be filled by Watson if they make no further signings). If the Nuggets fall short of the Finals again this year with a fully loaded roster, don't be surprised if turning the keys over to Braun and Watson is a big reason why.  

-Pat Riley's insistence on standing pat is fucking nuts to me. Everybody knows that the Heat are a tough, well-coached team and that Jimmy Butler turns it on in the playoffs in a way that very few guys in the league today can. But at what point is running it back with the trio of Butler/Adebayo/Herro and saying that your issues are related to health, not talent going to be unacceptable. This scrappy little engine that could has indeed reached the Finals twice during this decade so far, but they got dusted in both those series and have refused to match everybody from the Celtics to the Bucks to the f'n Pacers in the ongoing Eastern Conference arms race following either of those losses. Swapping out Caleb Martin for Alec Burks, getting Terry Rozier back from injury and re-signing Haywood Highsmith and Kevin Love isn't going to bring this team any closer to winning another title this season and it's kind of embarrassing that they refuse to seriously pursue bringing in additional top-end talent while their leader Butler-who turns 35 in September- inches closer to no longer being a viable star player by the day.

-Tossing aside the drama of the J.J. Redick hiring and drafting of Bronny James for a second, the Lakers more or less running it back after their ugly finish to the 2023-24 season makes zero sense. The entirety of Rob Pelinka's offseason plan was to re-sign Max Christie and sort of try to make a run at Klay Thompson? Seriously? There were no other discussions about adding other players before LeBron re-signed to a max deal? Are they aware that D'Angelo Russell and Austin Reaves don't appear to have much trade value? Are they even considering making any additional moves? It really is shocking to see just how dysfunctional and dumb this team has become and they're going to be trying to undo the wrongs of this era for a long, long time after LeBron retires.                                              

2024 NFL Position Rankings: Full Series Recap

 Quarterbacks:

25.Gardner Minshew (Raiders)

24.Joe Flacco (Colts)

23.Deshaun Watson (Browns)

22.Justin Fields (Steelers)

21.Russell Wilson (Steelers)

20.Derek Carr (Saints)

19.Kyler Murray (Cardinals)

18.Geno Smith (Seahawks)

17.Aaron Rodgers (Jets)

16.Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars)

15.Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins)

14.Jordan Love (Packers)

13.Baker Mayfield (Buccaneers)

12.Brock Purdy (49ers)

11.C.J. Stroud (Texans)

10.Jared Goff (Lions)

9.Kirk Cousins (Falcons)

8.Justin Herbert (Chargers)

7.Dak Prescott (Cowboys)

6.Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

5.Matthew Stafford (Rams)

4.Joe Burrow (Bengals)

3.Josh Allen (Bills)

2.Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

1.Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

Running Backs:

50.Ty Chandler (Vikings)

49.Zach Charbonnet (Seahawks)

48.Tyjae Spears (Titans)

47.Antonio Gibson (Patriots)

46.Miles Sanders (Panthers)

45.Alexander Mattison (Raiders)

44.Jaleel McLaughlin (Broncos)

43.Kareem Hunt (Free Agent)

42.Justice Hill (Ravens)

41.Javonte Williams (Broncos)

40.D'Onta Foreman (Browns)

39.Keaton Mitchell (Ravens)

38.Ezekiel Elliott (Cowboys)

37.Khalil Herbert (Bears)

36.Tyler Allgeier (Falcons)

35.Jerome Ford (Browns)

34.Zack Moss (Bengals)

33.Austin Ekeler (Commanders)

32.Rachaad White (Buccaneers)

31.Jaylen Warren (Steelers)

30.Chuba Hubbard (Panthers)

29.AJ Dillon (Packers)

28.Devin Singletary (Giants)

27.Bijan Robinson (Falcons)

26.Gus Edwards (Chargers)

25.Rhamondre Stevenson (Patriots)

24.Alvin Kamara (Saints)

23.D'Andre Swift (Bears)

22.Brian Robinson Jr. (Commanders)

21.Jahmyr Gibbs (Lions)

20.De'Von Achane (Dolphins)

19.Joe Mixon (Texans)

18.Najee Harris (Steelers)

17.Breece Hall (Jets)

16.Travis Etienne Jr. (Jaguars)

15.Isiah Pacheco (Chiefs)

14.James Cook (Bills)

13.Josh Jacobs (Packers)

12.Tony Pollard (Titans)

11.Jonathan Taylor (Colts)

10.Raheem Mostert (Dolphins)

9.David Montgomery (Lions)

8.Kenneth Walker III (Seahawks)

7.Kyren Williams (Rams)

6.Aaron Jones (Vikings)

5.James Conner (Cardinals)

4.Nick Chubb (Browns)

3.Saquon Barkley (Eagles)

2.Derrick Henry (Ravens)

1.Christian McCaffery (49ers)

Wide Receivers:

50.Odell Beckham Jr. (Dolphins)

49.Khalil Shakir (Bills)

48.Josh Downs (Colts)
47.Christian Watson (Packers)

46.Jordan Addison (Vikings)

45.Jayden Reed (Packers)

44.Marquise Brown (Chiefs)

43.Jerry Jeudy (Browns)

42.Gabe Davis (Jaguars)

41.Brandin Cooks (Cowboys)

40.Jakobi Meyers (Raiders)

39.Adam Thielen (Panthers)

38.Tank Dell (Texans)

37.Zay Flowers (Ravens)

36.Mike Williams (Jets)

35.Rashee Rice (Chiefs)

34.Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

33.Calvin Ridley (Titans)

32.Diontae Johnson (Panthers)

31.Drake London (Falcons)

30.Christian Kirk (Jaguars)

29.Tyler Lockett (Seahawks)

28.George Pickens (Steelers)

27.Terry McLaurin (Commanders)

26.Tee Higgins (Bengals)

25.DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

24.Amari Cooper (Browns)

23.Deebo Samuel (49ers)

22.Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)

21.DeAndre Hopkins (Titans)

20.D.K. Metcalf (Seahawks)

19.Nico Collins (Texans)

18.Garrett Wilson (Jets)

17.Michael Pittman Jr. (Colts)

16.Cooper Kupp (Rams)

15.Chris Olave (Saints)

14.Stefon Diggs (Texans)

13.Keenan Allen (Bears)

12.Mike Evans (Buccaneers)

11.Puka Nacua (Rams)

10.D.J. Moore (Bears)

9.Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

8.Brandon Aiyuk (49ers)

7.Davante Adams (Raiders)

6.Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions)

5.Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

4.A.J. Brown (Eagles)

3.CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

2.Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

1.Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

Tight Ends:

20.Noah Fant (Seahawks)

19.Chigoziem Okonkwo (Titans)

18.Isaiah Likely (Ravens)

17.Pat Friermuth (Steelers)

16.Tyler Conklin (Jets)

15.Dalton Kincaid (Bills)

14.Hunter Henry (Patriots)

13.Kyle Pitts (Falcons)

12.Trey McBride (Cardinals)

11.Jake Ferguson (Cowboys)

10.Cole Kmet (Bears)

9.David Njoku (Browns)

8.Dalton Schultz (Texans)

7.Evan Engram (Jaguars)

6.Sam LaPorta (Lions)

5.Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

4.Mark Andrews (Ravens)

3.T.J. Hockenson (Vikings)

2.Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

1.George Kittle (49ers)  

Tackles:

30.Luke Goedeke (Buccaneers)

29.Trent Brown (Bengals)

28.Zach Tom (Packers)

27.Bernhard Raimann (Colts)

26.Mike McGlinchey (Broncos)

25.Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)

24.Orlando Brown Jr. (Bengals)

23.Terron Armstead (Dolphins)

22.Braden Smith (Colts)

21.Mike Onwenu (Patriots)

20.Taylor Moton (Panthers)

19.Kaleb McGary (Falcons)

18.Morgan Moses (Jets)

17.Dion Dawkins (Bills)

16.Jake Matthews (Falcons)

15.Garett Boles (Broncos)

14.Brian O'Neill (Vikings)

13.Rob Havenstein (Rams)

12.Laremy Tunsil (Texans)

11.Rashawn Slater (Chargers)

10.Taylor Decker (Lions)

9.Tyron Smith (Jets)

8.Andrew Thomas (Giants)

7.Kolton Miller (Raiders)

6.Jordan Mailata (Eagles)

5.Tristian Wirfs (Buccaneers)

4.Christian Darrisaw (Vikings)

3.Penei Sewell (Lions)

2.Lane Johnson (Eagles)

1.Trent Williams (49ers)

Guards:

30.Dylan Parham (Raiders)

29.Sidy Sow (Patriots)

28.Alijah Vera-Tucker (Jets)

27.Ben Powers (Broncos)

26.Daniel Brunskill (Titans)

25.Jon Feliciano (49ers)

24.Ezra Cleveland (Jaguars)

23.James Daniels (Steelers)

22.Will Hernandez (Cardinals)

21.Alex Cappa (Bengals)

20.Landon Dickerson (Eagles)

19.Elgton Jenkins (Packers)

18.Teven Jenkins (Bears)

17.Graham Glasgow (Lions)

16.Sam Cosmi (Commanders)

15.Shaq Mason (Texans)

14.Brandon Scherff (Jaguars)

13.Trey Smith (Chiefs)

12.Quinn Meinerz (Broncos)

11.Robert Hunt (Panthers)

10.Tyler Smith (Cowboys)

9.Kevin Zeitler (Lions)

8.Issac Seumalo (Steelers)

7.Kevin Dotson (Rams)

6.Wyatt Teller (Browns)

5.Quenton Nelson (Colts)

4.Zack Martin (Cowboys)

3.Joel Bitonio (Browns)

2.Joe Thuney (Chiefs)

1.Chris Lindstrom (Falcons)

Centers:

20.Bradley Bozeman (Chargers)

19.Jake Brendel (49ers)

18.Hjalte Froholdt (Cardinals)

17.Garrett Bradbury (Vikings)

16.Coleman Shelton (Bears)

15.Mitch Morse (Jaguars)

14.Ted Karras (Bengals)

13.Aaron Brewer (Dolphins)

12.Lloyd Cushenberry III (Titans)

11.Tyler Biadasz (Commanders)

10.Andre James (Raiders)

9.Ethan Pocic (Browns)

8.Connor Williams (Free Agent)

7.David Andrews (Patriots)

6.Erik McCoy (Saints)

5.Ryan Kelly (Colts)

4.Drew Dalman (Falcons)

3.Tyler Linderbaum (Ravens)

2.Creed Humphrey (Chiefs)

1.Frank Ragnow (Lions)

Defensive Ends:

35.A.J. Epenesa (Bills)

34.George Karlaftis (Chiefs)

33.Mike Danna (Chiefs)

32.Kayvon Thibodeaux (Giants)

31.Leonard Floyd (49ers)

30.Dorance Armstrong (Commanders)

29.Zach Allen (Broncos)

28.Chase Young (Saints)

27.Kwity Paye (Colts)

26.John Franklin-Myers (Broncos)

25.Preston Smith (Packers)

24.Carl Granderson (Saints)

23.Greg Rousseau (Bills)

22.Jermaine Johnson (Jets)

21.Malcolm Koonce (Raiders)

20.Calias Campbell (Dolphins)

19.Cameron Jordan (Saints)

18.Leonard Williams (Seahawks)

17.Samson Ebukam (Colts)

16.Rashan Gary (Packers)

15.Will Anderson Jr. (Texans)

14.Brian Burns (Giants)

13.Za'Darius Smith (Browns)

12.Montez Sweat (Bears)

11.Haason Reddick (Jets)

10.DeMarcus Lawrence (Cowboys)

9.Danielle Hunter (Texans)

8.Derrick Brown (Panthers)

7.Aidan Hutchinson (Lions)

6.Trey Hendrickson (Bengals)

5.Josh Allen (Jaguars)

4.Maxx Crosby (Raiders)

3.Micah Parsons (Cowboys)

2.Nick Bosa (49ers)

1.Myles Garrett (Browns)

Defensive Tackles:

35.Jarran Reed (Seahawks)

34.Jalen Carter (Eagles)

33.Dalvin Tomlinson (Browns)

32.Maliek Collins (49ers)

31.Da'Ron Payne (Commanders)

30.Sheldon Rankins (Bengals)

29.Denico Autry (Texans))

28.Shelby Harris (Browns)

27.Keeanu Benton (Steelers)

26.B.J. Hill (Bengals)

25.Ed Oliver (Bills)

24.Jordan Davis (Eagles)

23.Kobie Turner (Rams)

22.DaQuan Jones (Bills)

21.Grover Stewart (Colts)

20.Michael Pierce (Ravens)

19.Grady Jarrett (Falcons)

18.Jonathan Allen (Commanders)

17.Osa Odighizuwa (Cowboys)

16.Kenny Clark (Packers)

15.Alim McNeill (Lions)

14.Justin Madubuike (Ravens)

13.David Onyemata (Falcons)

12.Christian Barmore (Patriots)

11.Javon Hargrave (49ers)

10.Jeffrey Simmons (Titans)

9.Arik Armstead (Jaguars)

8.Vita Vea (Buccaneers)

7.Cameron Hayward (Steelers)

6.D.J. Reader (Lions)

5.Christian Wilkins (Raiders)

4.DeForest Buckner (Colts)

3.Quinnen Williams (Jets)

2.Dexter Lawrence (Giants)

1.Chris Jones (Chiefs)

Outside Linebackers:

35.Lorenzo Carter (Falcons)

34.Byron Young (Rams)

33.Yaya Diaby (Buccaneers)

32.Zaven Collins (Cardinals)

31.Tuli Tuipulotu (Chargers)

30.Pete Werner (Saints)

29.Arden Key (Titans)

28.Baron Browning (Broncos)

27.Leo Chenal (Chiefs)

26.Christian Harris (Texans)

25.Uchena Nwosu (Seahawks)

24.De'Vondre Campbell (49ers)

23.Drue Tranquill (Chiefs)

22.Boye Mafe (Seahawks)

21.Harold Landry (Titans)

20.Dre Greenlaw (49ers)

19.Kyle Van Noy (Ravens)

18.Shaq Barrett (Dolphins)

17.Brandon Graham (Eagles)

16.Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah (Browns)

15.Odafe Oweh (Ravens)

14.Josh Sweat (Eagles)

13.Bryce Huff (Eagles)

12.Jahlani Tavai (Patriots)

11.Jadeveon Clowney (Panthers)

10.Andrew Van Ginkel (Vikings)

9.Jonathan Greenard (Vikings)

8.TJ Edwards (Bears)

7.Jaelan Phillips (Dolphins)

6.Joey Bosa (Chargers)

5.Bradley Chubb (Dolphins)

4.Matthew Judon (Patriots)

3.Alex Highsmith (Steelers)

2.Khalil Mack (Chargers)

1.T.J. Watt (Steelers)

Inside Linebackers:

35.Zaire Franklin (Colts)

34.Germaine Pratt (Bengals)

33.Azeez Al-Shaair (Texans)

32.E.J. Speed (Colts)

31.Micah McFadden (Giants)

30.Alex Anazalone (Lions)

29.Jack Gibbens (Titans)

28.Jerome Baker (Seahawks)

27.Josey Jewell (Panthers)

26.Elandon Roberts (Steelers)

25.Eric Kendricks (Cowboys)

24.Tyrel Dodson (Seahawks)

23.Ivan Pace Jr. (Vikings)

22.Devin Lloyd (Jaguars)

21.Logan Wilson (Bengals)

20.Robert Spillane (Raiders)

19.Blake Cashman (Vikings)

18.Jordan Hicks (Browns)

17.Ja'Whaun Bentley (Patriots)

16.David Long Jr. (Dolphins)

15.Patrick Queen (Steelers)

14.Frankie Luvu (Commanders)

13.Kaden Elliss (Falcons)

12.Quincy Williams (Jets)

11.Foyesade Oluokun (Jaguars)

10.Ernest Jones (Rams)

9.C.J. Mosley (Jets)

8.Bobby Okereke (Giants)

7.Nick Bolton (Chiefs)

6.Lavonte David (Buccaneers)

5.Matt Milano (Bills)

4.Bobby Wagner (Commanders)

3.Demario Davis (Saints)

2.Roquan Smith (Ravens)

1.Fred Warner (49ers)

Cornerbacks:

50.Tyson Campbell (Jaguars)

49.Ronald Darby (Jaguars)

48.Arthur Maulet (Ravens)

47.Kader Kohou (Dolphins)

46.Martin Emerson Jr. (Browns)

45.Tariq Woolen (Seahawks)

44.Josh Metellus (Vikings)

43.Dee Alford (Falcons)

42.Tre'Davious White (Rams)

41.Greg Newsome II (Browns)

40.Marcus Peters (Free Agent)

39.Asante Samuel Jr. (Chargers)

38.Jaycee Horn (Panthers)

37.James Bradberry (Eagles)

36.Chidobe Awuzie (Titans)

35.Nate Hobbs (Raiders)

34.Derek Stingley Jr. (Texans)

33.Carlton Davis (Lions)

32.Brandon Stephens (Ravens)

31.Jonathan Jones (Patriots)

30.Michael Carter II (Jets)

29.Brian Branch (Lions)

28.Christian Benford (Bills)

27.Darius Slay (Eagles)

26.Paulson Adebo (Saints)

25.Decommodore Lenoir (49ers)

24.Taron Johnson (Bills)

23.Devon Witherspoon (Seahawks)

22.Stephon Gilmore (Free Agent)

21.Marlon Humphrey (Ravens)

20.Marshon Lattimore (Saints)

19.Denzel Ward (Browns)

18.Trevon Diggs (Cowboys)

17.Jamel Dean (Buccaneers)

16.Darious Williams (Rams)

15.L'Jarius Sneed (Titans)

14.Mike Hilton (Bengals)

13.A.J. Terrell (Falcons)

12.Rasul Douglas (Bills)

11.Kenny Moore (Colts)

10.D.J. Reed (Jets)

9.Kendall Fuller (Dolphins)

8.Trent McDuffie (Chiefs)

7.DaRon Bland (Cowboys)

6.Jaylon Johnson (Bears)

5.Patrick Surtain II (Broncos)

4.Jalen Ramsey (Dolphins)

3.Jaire Alexander (Packers)

2.Charvarius Ward (49ers)

1.Sauce Gardner (Jets)

Safeties:

50.Micah Hyde (Free Agent)

49.Eddie Jackson (Free Agent)

48.Malik Hooker (Cowboys)

47.Brandon Jones (Broncos)

46.Marcus Epps (Raiders)

45.Jason Pinnock (Giants)

44.Tony Adams (Jets)

43.Vonn Bell (Bengals)

42.Justin Reid (Chiefs)

41.Jimmie Ward (Texans)

40.Juan Thornhill (Browns)

39.DeShon Elliott (Steelers)

38.Jaquan Brisker (Bears)

37.Donovan Wilson (Cowboys)

36.Jordan Fuller (Panthers)

35.Jordan Battle (Bengals)

34.Ifeatu Melifonwu (Lions)

33.Tashaun Gibson (Free Agent)

32.Amani Hooker (Titans)

31.Julian Blackmon (Colts)

30.Harrison Smith (Vikings)

29.Grant Delpit (Browns)

28.Tre'Von Moehrig (Raiders)

27.Camrn Bynum (Vikings)

26.Jalen Thompson (Cardinals)

25.Xavier Woods (Panthers)

24.Alohi Gilman (Chargers)

23.Reed Blankenship (Eagles)

22.Geno Stone (Bengals)

21.Talanoa Hufanga (49ers)

20.Kyle Dugger (Patriots)

19.Justin Simmons (Free Agent)

18.Budda Baker (Cardinals)

17.Jordan Whitehead (Buccaneers)

16.Kamren Curl (Rams)

15.Andre Cisco (Jaguars)

14.C.J. Gardner-Johnson (Eagles)

13.Julian Love (Seahawks)

12.Derwin James (Chargers)

11.Jordan Poyer (Dolphins)

10.Marcus Williams (Ravens)

9.Kevin Byard (Bears)

8.Xavier McKinney (Packers)

7.Jevon Holland (Dolphins)

6.Jabrill Peppers (Patriots)

5.Kyle Hamilton (Ravens)

4.Minkah Fitzpatrick (Steelers)

3.Tyrann Mathieu (Saints)

2.Jessie Bates III (Falcons)

1.Antoine Winfield Jr. (Buccaneers)

Kickers:

20.Matt Prater (Cardinals)

19.Tyler Bass (Bills)

18.Wil Lutz (Broncos)

17.Jason Sanders (Dolphins)

16.Dustin Hopkins (Browns)

15.Ka'imi Fairbairn (Texans)

14.Jason Myers (Seahawks)

13.Evan McPherson (Bengals)

12.Greg Zuerlein (Jets)

11.Younghoe Koo (Falcons)

10.Cairo Santos (Bears)

9.Daniel Carlson (Raiders)

8.Chase McLaughlin (Buccaneers)

7.Chris Boswell (Steelers)

6.Jake Elliott (Eagles)

5.Nick Folk (Titans)

4.Brandon Aubrey (Cowboys)

3.Cameron Dicker (Chargers)

2.Harrison Butker (Chiefs)

1.Justin Tucker (Ravens)

Punters:

20.J.K. Scott (Chargers)

19.Ethan Evans (Rams)

18.Jack Fox (Lions)

17.Tress Way (Commanders)

16.Johnny Hekker (Panthers)

15.Ryan Wright (Vikings)

14.Mitch Wishnowsky (49ers)

13.Tommy Townsend (Texans)

12.Thomas Morstead (Jets)

11.Rigoberto Sanchez (Colts)

10.Logan Cooke (Jaguars)

9.Cameron Johnston (Steelers)

8.Jake Camarda (Buccaneers)

7.Corey Bojorquez (Browns)

6.Braden Mann (Eagles)

5.Blake Gillikin (Cardinals)

4.Ryan Stonehouse (Titans)

3.Michael Dickson (Seahawks)

2.Bryan Anger (Cowboys)

1.A.J. Cole (Raiders)

Top 10 Appearances by Team:

Detroit Lions: 10 (Taylor Decker, Jared Goff, Aidan Hutchinson, Sam LaPorta, David Montgomery, Frank Ragnow, D.J. Reader, Penei Sewell, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Kevin Zeitler)

Dallas Cowboys: 9 (Bryan Anger, Brandon Aubrey, DaRon Bland, CeeDee Lamb, DeMarcus Lawrence, Zack Martin, Micah Parsons, Dak Prescott, Tyler Smith)

Baltimore Ravens: 8 (Mark Andrews, Kyle Hamilton, Derrick Henry, Lamar Jackson, Tyler Linderbaum, Roquan Smith, Justin Tucker, Marcus Williams)

Kansas City Chiefs: 8 (Nick Bolton, Harrison Butker, Creed Humphrey, Chris Jones, Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, Trent McDuffie, Joe Thuney)

Miami Dolphins: 8 (Bradley Chubb, Kendall Fuller, Tyreek Hill, Jevon Holland, Raheem Mostert, Jalean Phillips, Jalen Ramsey, Jaylen Waddle)

Philadelphia Eagles: 8 (Saquon Barkley, A.J. Brown, Jake Elliott, Dallas Goedert, Jalen Hurts, Lane Johnson, Jordan Mailata, Braden Mann)

Cleveland Browns: 7 (Joel Bitonio, Corey Bojorquez, Nick Chubb, Myles Garrett, David Njoku, Ethan Pocic, Wyatt Teller)

Las Vegas Raiders: 7 (Davante Adams, Daniel Carlson, A.J. Cole, Maxx Crosby, Andre James, Kolton Miller, Christian Wilkins)

Pittsburgh Steelers: 7 (Chris Boswell, Minkah Fitzpatrick, Cameron Heyward, Alex Highsmith, Cameron Johnston, Isaac Seumalo, T.J. Watt)

San Francisco 49ers: 7 (Brandon Aiyuk, Nick Bosa, George Kittle, Christian McCaffery, Charvarius Ward, Fred Warner, Trent Williams)

Chicago Bears: 6 (Kevin Byard, T.J. Edwards, Jaylon Johnson, Cole Kmet, D.J. Moore, Cairo Santos)

Minnesota Vikings: 6 (Christian Darrisaw, Jonathan Greenard, T.J. Hockenson, Justin Jefferson, Aaron Jones, Andrew Van Ginkel)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 6 (Jake Camarda, Lavonte David, Chase McLaughlin, Vita Vea, Antoine Winfield Jr., Tristan Wirfs)

New York Jets: 5 (Sauce Gardner, C.J. Mosley, D.J. Reed, Tyron Smith, Quinnen Williams)

Jacksonville Jaguars: 4 (Josh Allen, Arik Armstead, Logan Cooke, Evan Engram)

Los Angeles Chargers: 4 (Joey Bosa, Cameron Dicker, Justin Herbert, Khalil Mack)

Los Angeles Rams: 4 (Kevin Dotson, Ernest Jones, Matthew Stafford, Kyren Williams)

Atlanta Falcons: 3 (Jessie Bates III, Kirk Cousins, Drew Dalman)

Cincinnati Bengals: 3 (Joe Burrow, Ja'Marr Chase, Trey Hendrickson)

Indianapolis Colts: 3 (DeForest Buckner, Ryan Kelly, Quenton Nelson)

New England Patriots: 3 (David Andrews, Matthew Judon, Jabrill Peppers)

New Orleans Saints: 3 (Demario Davis, Tyrann Mathieu, Erik McCoy)

New York Giants: 3 (Dexter Lawrence, Bobby Okereke, Andrew Thomas)

Tennessee Titans: 3 (Nick Folk, Jeffrey Simmons, Ryan Stonehouse)

Arizona Cardinals: 2 (James Conner, Blake Gillikin)

Buffalo Bills: 2 (Josh Allen, Matt Milano)

Green Bay Packers: 2 (Jaire Alexander, Xavier McKinney)

Houston Texans: 2 (Danielle Hunter, Dalton Schultz)

Seattle Seahawks: 2 (Michael Dickson, Kenneth Walker III)

Carolina Panthers: 1 (Derrick Brown)

Denver Broncos: 1 (Patrick Surtain II)

Free Agents: 1 (Connor Williams)

Washington Commanders: 1 (Bobby Wagner)