Dwayne Johnson Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Dwayne Johnson-whose latest project "The Smashing Machine" releases in theaters on Thursday. 

Dwayne Johnson's Filmography Ranked:

35.Be Cool (F)

34.Southland Tales (D-)

33.Empire State (D+)

32.San Andereas (D+) 

31.The Scorpion King (C-)

30.Moana (C-)

29.Red One (C)

28.Black Adam (C)

27.Red Notice (C)

26.Skyscraper (C)

25.DC League of Super-Pets (B-)

24.Doom (B-)

23.Faster (B-)

22.Hercules (B-)

21.G.I. Joe: Retaliation (B-) 

20.Jungle Cruise (B-)

19.The Mummy Returns (B-)

18.Baywatch (B-)

17.Rampage (B)

16.Fighting With My Family (B)

15.Walking Tall (B)

14.Snitch (B)

13.Get Smart (B)

12.Central Intelligence (B+)

11.Gridiron Gang (B+)

10.Fast and Furious 6 (B+)

9.Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (B+)

8.Hobbs & Shaw (A-)

7.Jumanji: The Next Level (A-)

6.The Rundown (A)

5.The Fate of the Furious (A)

4.The Other Guys (A)

3.Furious 7 (A)

2.Pain & Gain (A)

1.Fast Five (A)

Top Dog: Fast Five (2011)

What makes Fast Five the peak of the Fast and the Furious franchise to me is that it marked the perfect balance between its origins as a humble street racing movie and the proudly over-the-top globetrotting pseudo-superhero franchise it eventually morphed into. The specifics of the plot and the huge climactic setpiece where the crew is dragging a bank vault through the streets of Rio de Janeiro are just ridiculous enough to feel like a natural extension of what the team were up to in the first four films and this perfect tonal balance paired with Justin Lin's electrifying direction and Johnson's stern, snarky Luke Hobbs entering the fold to challenge the way "The Family" conducts business makes it one of the most delightfully fun spectacles released this century.        

Bottom Feeder: Be Cool (2005)

Happy 20th anniversary to the historic turd that is Be Cool! An F. Gary Gray-directed film starring a number of magnetic, talented performers (John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Johnson, Vince Vaughn, Danny DeVito, Harvey Keitel, Cedric the Entertainer) shouldn't be this embarrassingly unfunny and painful to sit through! Here's to another 20 years of sucking shit and making Zoolander 2 look like a masterful comedy sequel by comparison!  

Most Underrated: Pain & Gain (2013)

I remain steadfast in my belief that this is a funnier, more biting satirical takedown of the unattainable illusion that is the "American Dream" and shameless material excess serving as the ultimate symbol of personal success than The Wolf of Wall Street. Michael Bay's signature scuzzy, hyperactive direction is the perfect vessel to deliver this warped fact-based story about three lunkhead Miami bodybuilders (Mark Wahlberg, Johnson, Anthony Mackie-all giving career-best turns) whose plan to extort a wealthy businessman (Tony Shalhoub) goes awry in spectacular fashion and the script from Stephen McFeeley and Christopher Markus does a tremendous job of conveying just how doomed and silly the protagonists pursuit of "the good life" was from the start.       

Most Overrated: Moana (2016)

This isn't a completely fair pick as Moana never even comes close to sinking to the same deep level of obnoxiousness as Frozen does, and is unquestionably out of my wheelhouse. At the same time, Lin Manuel-Miranda's songs are reliably grating and the consensus opinion on this is higher than just about any other animated film released in the past 15 years, which is enough for me to declare it overrated.