NFL Divisional Round Predictions

Wild Card Record: 1-3 (Correct: Colts Incorrect: Seahawks, Ravens, Bears)
Overall Record: 1-3

Indianapolis Colts over Kansas City Chiefs: Using history as the basis for my picks last week pretty much completely backfired. Were those incorrect predictions enough for me to stop this silly superstitious practice this week? Absolutely not. That being said, the Chiefs extensive struggles in the playoffs (1-10 record including 0 wins at home since 1994) isn't the primary reason I'm picking the Colts. Andy Reid's team simply hasn't been the same since Kareem Hunt was released and with their offense looking less explosive over the past month, a Colts squad that boasts a very solid defense and an offense with the firepower to exploit their terrible defense seem like they're more than capable of continuing this organization's extensive run of postseason suffering.

Los Angeles Rams over Dallas Cowboys: As it usually does this time of year, this seemingly even matchup between a high-powered offense and a top-notch defense should end up coming down to whose deficiency (Rams defense vs. any part of the Cowboys offense that doesn't involve Ezekiel Elliott) ends up getting exposed at a pivotal time. Ultimately, I'm going to give the narrow edge to the Rams because I have more faith in their shaky defense making stops than I do the Cowboys being able to get the passing game going on the road against a tough opponent if Zeke isn't lights out.

New England Patriots over Los Angeles Chargers: It's pretty easy to make a compelling argument for the Chargers as the AFC's dark horse Super Bowl representative. They have a sound defense with no glaring weaknesses, enough explosive offensive playmakers (Melvin Gordon, Keenan Allen, Mike Williams, Austin Ekeler, Tyrell Williams) to attack opponents in a variety of ways and a great veteran quarterback in Phillip Rivers that has proven he isn't intimidated by the big moment. The huge problem with this potential Cinderella run to Atlanta is that were talking about a franchise that has a gift for pissing away every golden opportunity they earn (Example #24,617: the 4th quarter of their Wild Card contest with the Ravens). With the daunting task of enduring yet another cross-country flight, weather conditions they're not accustomed to and trying to take down a certain immortal QB/coach combo on their home turf, I don't think this will be the year where the Chargers finally capitalize on their contender potential.

New Orleans Saints over Philadelphia Eagles: I've picked against the Eagles in every single playoff game in each of the last 2 seasons and they've won every damn time. As I demonstrated earlier, I have a really hard time learning from my mistakes and as a result, am going to go against them yet again. Their performance against the Bears wasn't overly impressive and they don't have the luxury of facing another young, mistake-prone team that will hand them a W again in the Divisional Round. The Superdome is going to be a madhouse on Sunday and this well-rounded Saints squad should be hungry to prove itself after being a miracle play away from advancing to the NFC Championship Game last year. Plus the Saints were my preseason Super Bowl pick, so I'm kind of obligated to ride with them as long as they're in the dance.

NFL Divisional Round Predictions

Last week's record: 3-1 (Correct: Falcons, Jaguars, Saints Incorrect: Chiefs)
Overall: 3-1

Atlanta Falcons over Philadelphia Eagles: It takes a lot for a top overall seed to be home underdogs in the Divisional Round, but the harsh reality is that the Eagles just aren't the same team without Carson Wentz under center. While Philly has a talented, versatile running back committee (Jay Ajayi, LeGarette Blount, Corey Clement) and a strong defense that's excellent at putting pressure on opposing QB's and stuffing the run, Nick Foles is the type of ineffective, mistake-prone quarterback that derails championship runs. Making matters worse for the Eagles is the fact that they're facing a seasoned Falcons squad that is red-hot on offense right now and has a quick, athletic defense that is more than capable of shutting down their rushing attack (outside of a few plays, they took MVP candidate Todd Gurley out of the game last week). In other words, any chance the Eagles have of winning this game lies on Foles' shoulders and given the way he's played since Wentz went down, I have absolutely zero confidence in his ability to deliver a strong performance in a big-game setting against a formidable opponent.

New England Patriots over Tennessee Titans: The Titans made me and millions of other know-it-all football fans who expected them to get slaughtered at Arrowhead Stadium last Saturday look like the blowhard dumbasses that we all are with their improbable comeback victory over the Chiefs. Now that I've gotten that obligatory acknowledgment of my incorrect prediction out of the way, I'm going to rip on Mike Mularkey's painfully average team yet again! Whatever confidence the Titans currently have following that huge upset win is practically guaranteed to deteriorate once they step into Gillette Stadium to face the defending champion New England Patriots tomorrow night. Even if you toss aside the clear talent discrepancies at nearly every position and very real possibility of the unstoppable out-for-blood Patriots making their 1st appearance of the season following the Seth Wickersham ESPN story that detailed an alleged rift between the architects of the Patriots seemingly eternal reign of dominance, this Titans squad doesn't have the offensive firepower or pass-rushing prowess to even compete with the Brady/Belichick machine, let alone knock them off.   

Pittsburgh Steelers over Jacksonville Jaguars: Everybody and their brother knows that the Jaguars slaughtered the Steelers in their regular season meeting back in early October. As much as I respect the abilities of the Jags defensive leaders (Jalen Ramsey, Calias Campbell, A.J. Bouye, Malik Jackson), the odds of Ben Roethlisberger throwing 5 INT's and this suspect run D all but eliminating Le'Veon Bell from the game again are extremely slim. The Steelers are a veteran offensive powerhouse with clear motivation to prove that October's meltdown in front of their home fans was merely a painful fluke and unless Blake Bortles and Leonard Forunette can break out of the crippling slumps they've been in over the past few weeks, this Jags offense simply won't be able to score enough points to stay in this game. 

New Orleans Saints over Minnesota Vikings: With their fierce defense and surprisingly efficient, multi-faceted offense, the Vikings have emerged as a popular Super Bowl pick in recent weeks. However, experience is essential in the playoffs and even though they've played their assess off all season long, I just can't give the edge to a Case Keenum-led team in a matchup against a team with a hardened veteran quarterback in Drew Brees whose coming off yet another stellar playoff performance.

NFL Divisional Round Predictions

Last Week's Record: 3-1 (Correct: Texans, Seahawks, Steelers Incorrect: Giants)
Overall Record: 3-1

Seattle Seahawks over Atlanta Falcons: The Falcons have consistently proved me wrong throughout 2016 and I'm sure head coach Dan Quinn desperately wants to eliminate his former employers from the playoffs, but I just can't give them the edge over this Seahawks squad. The Seahawks have a physical defense that's capable of shutting down their high-powered aerial attack and I don't think the Falcons front 7 is talented enough to stop Thomas Rawls if he gets going like he did last week against the Lions.

New England Patriots over Houston Texans: There hasn't been a more unevenly matched playoff game since the Tim Tebow-led Broncos traveled to Gillette Stadium back in 2012 (for reference purposes, the Patriots won that game 45-10). The Patriots hammered the hapless Texans 27-0 back in Week 3 with rookie Jacoby Brissett making his 1st career start under center. With Tom Brady back at the helm and the Texans still possessing the saddest offense in the NFL, there's no reason to believe the Patriots can't win by 30+ points. Unless you're a masochist that gets off on watching powerhouse football teams dismantle much weaker opponents, there's no reason to watch or care about this inevitable slaughter. 

Kansas City Chiefs over Pittsburgh Steelers: The Steelers laid an epic 43-14 beatdown on the Chiefs in the regular season, but that game was in the friendly confines of Heinz Field before Andy Reid's squad had really found their footing. Even in predicted icy conditions that give an edge to their prolific running attack led by Le'Veon Bell, I don't expect the Steelers to be on the winning end this time around. Arrowhead Stadium is one of the toughest places to win in the NFL, and I don't trust the notoriously road-challenged Ben Roethlisberger to be able to head into this hostile of an environment against this formidable of a defense and pick up a win.

Green Bay Packers over Dallas Cowboys: I'm absolutely astonished by the percentage of national media members and fans on social media that are assuming this is going to be a guaranteed win for the Cowboys. The Packers have won 7 games in a row, are coming off a game in which they shat all over a Giants defense that had been playing better than any other defense in the league during the second half of the season and have a quarterback in Aaron Rodgers that pulls legitimate gridiron magic out of his ass every single week. Unless Ezekiel Elliott can keep the Packers offense off of the field for most of the game, I don't see a way in which the Cowboys unreliable defense can contain this explosive offense for a prolonged period of time.  

NFL Divisional Playoff Round Predictions

Last Week's Record: 4-0

Baltimore Ravens over New England Patriots: For the fourth time in the past seven years, the Baltimore Ravens and New England Patriots will be squaring off in the playoffs at Gillette Stadium. Much has been made this week that the John Harbaugh-led Ravens are the only team to beat the Patriots multiple times at home in the playoffs in the Bill Belichick era. If the Ravens come out and contain this high-flying Patriots offense, I believe they will pick up their third victory in Foxboro. The Ravens are one of the few teams in the league that matchup well against the Patriots. They have one of the strongest front sevens in the league with a pair of excellent pass rushers in Terrell Suggs and Elvis Dumervil,  their defensive coordinator Dean Pees-who worked under Belichick for years in New England before going to Baltimore- knows a lot of their offensive tendencies and they play with a toughness that gives them a chance to beat anyone on any given day. However, the Patriots are not going to be an easy out. Tom Brady is an animal (or as he said himself earlier this week "a fucking machine") in the cold, especially at home, and their defense is going to make sure Joe Flacco and co. don't get comfortable with the running game and their trademark deep passes. The Patriots are without question a better overall team than they were in their previous losses to the Ravens, but as long as the Ravens can consistently apply pressure to Brady so he can't burn their below-average secondary, contain Rob Gronkowski and Flacco continues to deliver in the playoffs, they should be able to take out the Patriots in what is poised to be a tight, hard-fought contest. 

Seattle Seahawks over Carolina Panthers: Yes, the Panthers finished the regular season below .500. Yes this game is in Seattle, where the Seahawks have only lost twice since 2012. Yes, the Panthers looked terrible offensively in their victory last week against the Cardinals. Even with all these factors pointing to the Panthers getting blown out by the defending champs, I don't think that will be the case. The Panthers and Seahawks are two teams that just play each other close in every single meeting. Even when the Panthers were in the midst of a massive slump earlier this season, they only lost to the Seahawks by four points. These are two physical, defensive-minded football teams with nearly identical strengths and I expect yet another low-scoring, hard-fought battle to occur when these two square off at CenturyLink Field tonight. Though the Panthers should keep it close, I expect the Seahawks to come out on top. This game is going to come down to the running attack and defense, and the Seahawks have the edge in both of those. The Panthers defense and running back Jonathan Stewart have been excellent over the past month or so, but even with the hot streak they're on at the moment, they can't top this Seahawks defense and the inhuman behemoth that is Marshawn Lynch. The Seahawks are just an incredibly tough out at home and are playing better than any team in the league right now, which gives them a slight advantage in this matchup.

Green Bay Packers over Dallas Cowboys: This game is being hyped to all hell and deservedly so. It's the first ever playoff meeting between teams that finished the regular season 8-0 at home and 8-0 on the road respectively. One of these highly impressive streaks is going to come to an end on Sunday, and I believe that's going to be the Cowboys string of road victories. The Cowboys have played excellent for a vast majority of the season and proved their naysayers repeatedly wrong along the way, I just don't think they have a strong enough secondary to stop the Packers' absurdly stacked receiving corps. Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb have decimated just about every secondary they've faced this season and considering Orlando Scandrick is the only cornerback the Cowboys have that has had any success against a top-tier receivers  this season, this trend should continue without much difficulty. DeMarco Murray going up against this horrid Packers rush defense and Tony Romo's excellent play on the road should keep the 'Boys very much in the game, I just can't pick against this high-powered Packers offense, even with a not fully healthy Aaron Rodgers, in the extremely cold confines of Lambeau Field at the moment.  


Denver Broncos over Indianapolis Colts: To be honest, I don't have a lot of faith in the Broncos or Colts right now. Peyton Manning has looked like absolute trash of late and Andrew Luck has been horrid in his two career road playoff games (50.4 CMP %, 2 TD's, 5 INT's, 56.4 QBR). Of course someone has to win this game and based on the supporting casts around them, I have to go with the Broncos to win this battle of the two sloppiest teams still alive in the playoffs. The Broncos have a strong defense with a great pass rush and loaded secondary that is completely capable of making sure Luck has another terrible road playoff outing and running back C.J. Anderson should continue to save this squad from Manning's recent woes. Unless they buck all their recent trends, the Colts just don't have enough firepower on either side of the ball to take out the Broncos.