10 Worst Bands In Metal

I have had some friends of mine request that I do a post on who I think the 10 worst bands in all of metal are, well I figured it would be an interesting post to do. I know some people are going to disagree strongly with is and that's cool, I don't expect everyone to agree with it. I seriously listen to just about every metal subgenre and I consider myself to be pretty open-minded and I will give anything a chance. That being said, there are a good amount of shitty metal bands and this is the worst of the worst in my eyes. Also, for reference purposes I am not including a lot of bands that I can't stand that are "post-hardcore". Bands like Black Veil Brides, We Came As Romans, Pierce The Veil, Abandon All The Ships and the other 12 year old girl bands would have made the list, but I decided to exclude them. Without further ado, here are my 10 picks for the 10 worst bands in metal currently.

10.Impending Doom
Impending Doom always make me laugh for many reasons, mainly because they are a Christian deathcore band. I have nothing against Christians or Christian Metal, it's just that when you are trying to be an "extreme" metal act it's kind of ironic that you sing songs about Jesus. Even without their faith, they do nothing but play shitty breakdown after shitty breakdown and have muffled pig squeals that sound like the fucking Cookie Monster. The Lord doesn't like them and neither do I.

9.Cradle Of Filth
Recently I have got into black metal and there is a lot of great stuff in the genre, Cradle Of Filth is not one of those bands. They are basically the laughingstock of the whole genre. Dani Filth sounds like a cat and they try way too hard to have epic symphonic parts like (old)Dimmu Borgir and they just feel out of place with their sound. They are the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to black metal, no band is even close to as lame or cheesy as Cradle Of Filth

8.Architects(UK)
I hated the Architects, then I saw them live. Their live shows is one of the most painful things I have ever witnessed, it was an absolutely abysmal performance which dragged on and felt like an eternity. Every song sounded exactly the same, you couldn't tell when one ended and the next began. I went back and listened to their studio stuff and it's just bad. Some of the most generic and boring metal on the planet.

7.Attila
Even though I am straight edge, I like a good party metal band or album (Municipal Waste's The Art Of Partying made my best albums of the decade list) That being said I hate Attila with a passion. Their songs are just so bad, they are "HELL YEAH, WEED, PARTY, BEER, JAGER, SHIT I FUCKED A TRANNY, PUKE, PASS OUT IN THE BUSHES, AWESOME TUESDAY NIGHT BRO" with 9,000 breakdowns in each song. I really don't mind breakdowns, it's just when it's the only thing you do, it gets really old really fast. Attila is the metal version of the Kottonmouth Kings, stupid, horrible music about getting wasted.

6.Hellyeah
You would think a band with Vinnie Paul, the drummer for Pantera, would be in a better band for his next project. Instead Vinnie Paul decides to waste his talent with vocalist Chad Gray and guitarist Greg Tribbett (Mudvayne) in their side project. Hellyeah is an insanely generic hard rock/metal group that pumps out complete shit and is mostly enjoyed by rednecks and no one else.

5.Chelsea Grin
Chelsea Grin has blown up in the world in of the deathcore pretty much over night. Personally, deathcore is very hit or miss for me. There a good of amount bands that do it well (Winds Of Plague,Veil Of Maya,The Acacia Strain,All Shall Perish, others) and there a lot of bands that are straight up garbage, Chelsea Grin falls in the latter category. The fact that people can take this band seriously astonishes me. Their vocalist makes the single most wretched noise I have ever heard come out of a human being, It's a laughable attempt at death metal vocals. Their vocals are about as brutal as an episode of Dora The Explorer. Aside from the vocals, their ground game is nothing but breakdowns. A talentless band that is only a good for a laugh when you want to listen to some really awful metal.

4.Rose Funeral
One of the few deathcore bands that are worse than Chelsea Grin. When I first heard their music I seriously couldn't believe how bad it was. Everything about this a band is a joke, the vocals are pathetic, the guitarist knows 2-3 chords and every song is way too long. In addition to making awful music, they are also awful people. They beat kids up at a Nile show last year because they were playing UNO in the front row during their set, says a lot about their character. Awful band and despicable human beings.

3.Emmure
I don't even know where to start with this band. Emmure is a band that just fails at everything they want to do. They are a half-assed, wannabe version of The Acacia Strain. The only difference between the two is where The Acacia Strain has old-school New York hardcore influences (and are actually a good band), Emmure's sound has a big influence from Limp Bizkit. It's equal parts amusing and pathetic how hard vocalist Frankie Palmeri wants to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. When it comes down to their music, it's flat-out pitiful. They always do that stupid screeching sound with the guitar that sounds like the AC-130 from Modern Warfare 2, to say it's obnoxious would be a huge understatement. Frankie's vocals are also a joke, the fact that he will start a line rapping and finish it screaming, is a riot to me. They try so hard to be heavy and cutting edge, when in reality they are just a bunch of wanna be rappers that can't play their instruments and write faux-brutal lyrics that are so stupid you can't help but laugh hysterically at them. That being said, If you think Emmure is a joke on disc, see them live. I've seen Emmure live twice and I can say that they are easily the worst live band I have ever seen. Frankie walks around the stage like he is the coolest guy on the planet and acts like a rapper, he thinks so highly of himself it's really sad. Seeing Emmure live is a truly painful and experience that can drain the fun of a concert instantly(until they get off the stage at least). Emmure is a group full of clowns and their music is just embarrassing.

2.Attack Attack!
There is only one reason this band isn't number 1, they don't take themselves seriously, which is about the only good I can say about this band. Besides that they are some of the most unholy awful, talentless music you have ever heard. Auto-Tune vocals and dance-synth breakdowns are just horrible and that's pretty much all Attack Attack is. Attack Attack! is the worst joke in metal right now.

1.Asking Alexandria
My hatered for Asking Alexandria is really beyond words, they are just such a failure of a band. First off, they have the absolute worst use of synths I have ever heard. Their dance/electro/ trance segments are a fucking joke. I can appreciate synths and keyboards (Children Of Bodom is one of my favorite bands), but their uses of keyboards are downright stupid and annoying. Their dance breakdowns come out of nowhere and are completely pointless. Throw in the vocals, oh god the vocals. I don't even know what to call it, is it screaming?, or is it moaning?, I'm not really sure.I can't forget about the sweet clean vocals that take whiny and horrible to new levels. Just when I thought they couldn't get any worse, I found out that they lip-synch their clean vocals live. That is an absolute disgrace, if you can't sing your shit live just get the fuck out and stop making music. To make matters worse, they are cocky as hell and constantly talk to the media about how fucking fantastic they are. If you go around gloating about how good you are at something, chances are you aren't. Cocky people are probably my least favorite types of people on the planet, arrogance just pisses me off and Asking Alexandria is full of cocky pricks. Asking Alexandria is a stupid fucking scene band that only cares about their image and nothing else. I could go on for a long time about how dreadful they are, but I think that just about sums it up. I hate Asking Alexandria a vast amount and I can say without a doubt they are the saddest and most pitiful excuse for a band in all of metal.

Rant: Crunkcore/Auto-Tone in Metal

I tend to be open minded when it comes to metal and clearly there are bands I don't like. Even If i don't like a band I tend to respect someones opinion. There are plenty of bands I would consider to be complete shit including Bring Me The Horizon,Emmure,Cradle Of Filth and plenty more.These bands I just named are all bad in my opinion but none of them are guilty of the single worst thing a heavy band do and proabably the only thing a band can do that would make me think "How the fuck did they get a record deal". That thing is be associated with the Crunkcore genre.

These crunkcore acts such as broKENcyde,Asking Alexandria,Attack Attack! and Vampires Everywhere! just to name to a few out of this newly popular trend are a disease to music. I mean the fact that all these bands do is play fucking two-chord breakdowns and whack off with synths and auto-tone vocals it is just sickening. I mean this music can't be serious can it? "Heavy riffs" with goddamn electronic auto-tone vocals and half-assed screams it has to be a damn joke. These bands are all a bunch of pretty boy bitches who only care about getting laid. I think that's about the only excuse I can think of for making such lame fucking music. I mean the fucking fans of these shitty,shitty bands are all either 12-16 year old girls who just want to bang the dudes in the band and could give a shit less what they are playing or scene kids who are riding the trend just to go to a show and show off their sweet hardcore dancing moves and sweet haircuts and look very bored in the pit untill one of the 60,000 breakdowns per song with a rap beat or a synth behind come on and then they all go to to town fighting the air.

I mean I don't tend to get this mad about people liking music. I'm just some 18-year old asshole at a computer screen. I like and/or respect most music. When it comes to metal I am pretty much down with everything. I listen to a wide variety of bands from a wide variety of subgenres. That being said this crunkcore shit though needs to go. Honestly these bands are fucking polluting the heavy music scene with their garbage,garbage music. Hell I would rather listen to Bring Me The Horizon a band that I absoultely loathe with a passion because at least they don't have fucking autotone. I really don't know how anyone could like bands like Asking Alexandria,Attack Attack! etc. Their music has no merit its not brutal,its not catchy,its not heavy, its just lame as fuck. Actually I take back the fact that I even refered to it as metal it really has 0 metal qualites in it. Everything about it the image,the shithead fans who don't respect each other and of course the music it just makes me sick. My advice to these bands: hang up the towel you talentless hacks, leave autotone alone and let T-Pain and the army of shitty dance-pop singers to jerk off with that shit.