Movie Review: Mission: Impossible-The Final Reckoning

 

Just 6 short days ago, I used about 550 of an 800-word review of Final Destination Bloodlines to rail against the film's obnoxious embrace of fan service, so I would be a loud and proud hypocrite if I didn't rip Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible-The Final Reckoning for its similar sins. As the title implies, The Final Reckoning is being framed as superspy Ethan Hunt's swan song (whether or not our IP-obsessed times will allow a firm conclusion to actually occur is another issue entirely). What this means is that the film is obligated to examine the legacy behind Hunt's 30+ year, 8-film journey while simultaneously sending Hunt and his revolving door of cohorts (this time around it's Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Pom Klementieff, Greg Tarzan Davis and for the last 90 odd minutes of the film, a returning character from a previous film that nobody on the universe would've ever expected to come back) on another impossible mission as they once again attempt to take down the super AI known as "The Entity" that was introduced in 2023's Dead Reckoning. And what delightful modern franchise storytelling device is used to make this messy arranged marriage happen? Well, retcons and hollow exposition dumps of course!!! Please believe me when I tell you that a significant amount of the first hour of the movie consists of a hodgepodge of monologues from various characters explaining how Hunt's past actions (archival footage is constantly spliced over the dialogue since there's no fucking way that anybody who hasn't seen the earlier movies recently would be able to recall most of, if not all of these events) paved the way for the creation of The Entity and why the powers that be shouldn't trust him given his history of recklessness and bucking authority, but ultimately have to since they don't have a better choice to try and stop The Entity. It's a unique combination of nostalgia-baiting garbage and the same thinly veiled self-fellating that Cruise used ad nauseum in Top Gun: Maverick to reflect on what Hunt has meant to cinema for all these years. Ultimately, it's an equally hilarious and embarrassing exercise that sows some serious doubt about whether or not The Final Reckoning is going to be able to land the proverbial plane when the time comes.

In a fitting tribute to Hunt himself, The Final Reckoning manages to pull it off right at the moment when all seems lost. What Mission-Impossible is really about isn't spycraft or the love Hunt has for his team and having vaguely romantic relationships with gorgeous brunette women, it's the setpieces. When the stunts are electric and the kinetic energy is really humming, everything holding these movies back fades away (namely the mediocre-to-bad scripts and forgettable villains outside of Phillip Seymour Hoffmann's Owen Davian) thanks to the unstoppable force that is sheer blockbuster movie magic. While things start trending in the right direction with the submerged submarine dive sequence in the second act, things really kick into the high gear in the final act with the stunt of Cruise hanging off the biplane that's been plastered all over the trailers and posters. This breathtaking extended sequence along with the hypertense cutaways to what the other characters of note to the story are going through while Hunt is dangling from the wing of that plane is one of the most pulse-pounding stretches in a series that's no stranger to putting exhilarating moments into the world. At no point during this portion of the film was I thinking about any of the clumsy, forced tie-ins to the previous movies in the franchise or some government official being played by a veteran actor (Angela Bassett, Henry Czerny, Nick Offerman, Holt McCallany, Janet McTeer, Hannah Waddingham) explaining what the Entity was capable of in 12,000 uninterrupted words. I was merely in awe of what was transpiring on that screen and what it took to pull it off. And when you think about it, that's about as fitting of a sendoff for Hunt and the egomaniacal nutjob that brought him to life as you could possibly ask for. 

Could The Final Reckoning have been better? Sure. Should it have been better given the strength of the setup that Dead Reckoning provided and the quality level this franchise has ascended to since Christopher McQuarrie took over as director with Rogue Nation? Yes. But as flawed and aggravating as it is-particularly in the early going, there's enough pure spectacle and old school Hollywood razzle dazzle on that screen to make it all worthwhile. If this is indeed really the end of the line for Hunt, I salute him for his service to his country, his team and (Vin Diesel voice) the movies.                       

Grade: B

2025 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Tight Ends

()=2024 Ranking 

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2024

20.(8) Dalton Schultz (Texans)

19.(9) David Njoku (Browns)

18.(+) Austin Hooper (Patriots)

17.(7) Evan Engram (Broncos)

16.(15) Dalton Kincaid (Bills)

15.(+) Zach Ertz (Commanders)

14.(17) Pat Friermuth (Steelers)

13.(14) Hunter Henry (Patriots)

12.(+) Mike Gesicki (Bengals)

11.(18) Isaiah Likely (Ravens)

10.(+) Tucker Kraft (Packers)

9.(+) Jonnu Smith (Dolphins)

8.(5) Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

7.(3) T,J. Hockenson (Vikings)

6.(6) Sam LaPorta (Lions)

5.(2) Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

4.(4) Mark Andrews (Ravens)

3.(+) Brock Bowers (Raiders)

2.(12) Trey McBride (Cardinals)

1.(1) George Kittle (49ers)

Movie Review: Hurry Up Tomorrow

Abel Tesfaye (aka The Weeknd) is one of the most important musical artists of the past 15 years. He's currently the most listened to artist worldwide on Spotify and has helped shape pop/R&B music trends since he burst onto the scene with his immense self-released mixtape House of Balloons in 2011. Since he's more or less conquered music, he's now trying his hand at acting and screenwriting. Famously, his first true foray into the field went horribly wrong as The Idol-the HBO series he co-wrote and co-led alongside Lily Rose-Depp-was a complete flop that was canceled after one horribly received season. Around the same time The Idol premiered in 2023, Tesfaye began production on his first movie-which was later revealed to be a companion piece to his latest record Hurry Up Tomorow directed by acclaimed indie filmmaker Trey Edward Shults (It Comes at Night, Waves). What the movie version of Hurry Up Tomorrow does above all else is confirm what was already pretty clear from The Idol: Tesfaye's creative gifts don't translate at all to the screen.

For those of you who haven't dug into the concept of the album version of Hurry Up Tomorrow, it's basically Tesfaye's way of trying to retire the persona of The Weeknd. He feels that fame has amplified his struggle to let go of the most toxic parts of himself (substance abuse, being too absorbed with the glamours lifestyle he's been afforded the opportunity to live to stay in contact with his family or maintain a romantic relationship, etc.) and after a years-long battle, he's finally ready to move past this era of his life for good (hence the title Hurry Up Tomorrow). The record is full of vulnerability and is probably the most relentlessly experimental release he's ever put out, which makes it consistently interesting even when certain songs don't fully hit the mark. 

Hurry Up Tomorow's narrative film sibling of the same name is a considerably less effective piece of work. It doesn't commit nearly hard enough to its surrealist elements to work as a mood piece or its psychological thriller/drama elements to be a profound character study and boasts a narrative that is too thin to justify being told via a feature film, which causes it to really meander to the finish line. There are flickers of light present in its hypnotic musical sequences (Chayse Irvin's beautiful 35mm cinematography, which is the best part of the movie by far, shines particularly bright in these moments) and when Jenna Ortega shows up as a depraved fan who intends to go to great lengths to get Tesfaye to be honest about the pain he's going through, but these sparks are too internment to distract from the big ball of nothing this movie is on the whole. 

Anybody that is considering checking this movie out as a fan of Tesfaye's or to simply laugh at it after seeing the viral TikTok of the scene featuring Ortega dancing to "Blinding Lights" while Tesfaye is tied to a hotel bed should really think twice before doing so (side note: that scene is actually more ridiculous in the context of the movie and you inconsiderate assholes really need to stop recording the screen in the theater!). It's the rare breed of project that is going to fall short of being even remotely enjoyable for the vast majority of people that watch it, regardless of what lens you choose to view it through. There is just way too much shit out there to watch right now to waste your time with a superstar musician's half-baked vanity project.                     

Grade: C-

Movie Review: Final Destination Bloodlines

 

The Final Destination franchise is returning to a much different horror climate than the one it left when it delivered its intended finale with Final Destination 5 back in August 2011. With this in mind, the path to reviving this franchise after 14 years away wasn't going to be to simply bring back the scuzzy 2000's sheen of the early installments or gleefully schlocky 3D-enchanced deaths of the latter two sequels from its initial run. A modernized reboot of Final Destination was destined to be one thing and one thing only: an exploration of the effects of generational trauma. It's a natural fit for a series that's all about death coming to collect the souls that cheated their fate and that's exactly the angle Final Destination Bloodlines choses to explore. By focusing on a family that's spawned three generations of broken people after their grandmother (Gabrielle Rose in the present day, Brec Bassinger in the 1960's flashbacks) saved dozens of lives by preventing the collapse of a newly opened high-rise restaurant before it happened and subsequently became paralyzed with fear that death was coming to kill her and everyone she cares about as payback for the lives she saved that night (Spoiler: She was right!), Bloodlines provides a clear illustration of how the ramifications of one person's scars can radically impact people for generations if the seeds of their pain remain strong enough to keep growing. The cruel irony is that like the fucked-up family that has just learned from their estranged grandmother that they've been marked for death, Final Destination Bloodlines is also facing a crippling crisis in the form of a major paradox that sitting at its core that frequently gets in the way of its aspirations to be an "elevated" take: It's absolutely obsessed with the franchise's past history. This hypocritical dichotomy turns what could've been a winning reboot into a maddening disappointment.

To be fair, the problem isn't that Bloodlines contains fan service, it's that the fan service is delivered with the degree of relentlessness that is typically reserved for an MCU movie. The most egregious instances of such come in the final 5 minutes and while I can't even hint at what they are without delving into the biggest spoilers of the entire movie, let's just say that I left the theater absolutely disgusted by the pandering callbacks that I had just witnessed. Making a more "serious" Final Destination movie that also contains a treasure trove of references to the previous films is some elite level talking out of both sides of your mouth from the creatives behind the film (directors Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein, writers Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor, producer/story writer Jon Watts, etc.) that makes me believe there wasn't even a sliver of purity behind their intentions to bring this franchise back from the dead. Having cool, over-the-top death scenes and a legitimately heartfelt goodbye to the late Tony Todd can only take you so far when the people behind the movie compromised truly committing to their "fresh" modern reboot in favor of trotting out a bunch of point-and-clap bullshit. 

I'm going to fucking puke when the seventh installment is inevitably greenlit and they bring back the surviving members of the Final Destination 2 cast so they can replace Todd's William Bludworth as the death experts for whatever doomed pricks survive a sinking booze cruise, nightclub collapse or accidental poisoning of the Rosemary Parmesan bread at Jersey Mike's. Why stop there? Surely, they can retcon some deaths and make a Final Destination all-star edition where fan favorites get dismembered for a second time! Anything goes on the Shameless Fan Service Express!

This full-throated embrace of all things fan service is the type of thing that makes me cynical about where movies are heading in the future. When a whole movie is built around nostalgia and referencing the previous movies that birthed the new installment, wouldn't it just make more sense as a fan to revisit the old movies instead of watching something that is more concerned with past glories than creating a new cinematic memory that you'll cherish for years to come? I'll never understand the appeal of "I understand the reference!" cinema and it sucks to watch a franchise that made a name for itself partly by successfully delivering slightly different riffs on the same basic concept for over a decade get infected with a disease that will only continue to get worse as modern audiences continue to get less inclined to check out new shit. For my money, Bloodlines is right on par with The Final Destination for the title of worst installment in the franchise by a wide margin and I'm going to have a hard time looking past its shitty DNA to truly enjoy the parts that do work in the future.       

Grade: C+          

Mission-Impossible Ranked

On this special edition of "Ranked", I'm ranking the Mission: Impossible franchise ahead of the release of "Mission-Impossible: The Final Reckoning" in theaters on Thursday. 

7.Mission: Impossible 2 (2000):

The only movie in the franchise that kind of stinks. It leans way too heavily into the rubber mask/double cross ridiculousness that's otherwise existed as a pretty small recurring plot device in the other entries, the chemistry between Tom Cruise and love interest/co-worker Thandiwe Newton couldn't be flatter and worst of all, it marked the start of John Woo's depressing transition from trailblazing action pioneer to sauceless clock puncher.    

Grade: C-

6.Mission: Impossible (1996):

Revisiting this now as we're on the cusp of the 8th entry entering the world is kind of hilarious. It actually perfectly mirrors the evolution of Fast and Furious where the first film feels like it's part of a completely different franchise than the one that the later installments belong to. While there's something oddly novel about its mostly dialogue-driven approach to exploring the relentless treachery that comes with being in the spy game, the lack of true spectacle on display inevitably relegates it to minor status in a series that's at its best when the jaw-dropping action/stuntwork is taking center stage.    

Grade: B-

5.Mission: Impossible III (2006):

Folks, we've gone too far with the post-Rise of Skywalker J.J. Abrams hate. The veteran television showrunner made a very smooth transition to the world of features with this fun action romp that got the series back on track after the lackluster initial sequel threatened to derail the franchise for good. This might've even flirted with greatness if Phillip Seymour Hoffman's incredibly imposing antagonist Owen Davian had more screentime and the opening third of the film outside of the sick Berlin setpiece had a bit more flare. 

Grade: B

4.Mission-Impossible: Rogue Nation (2015):

While the focus on its comically convoluted plot is way too prominent, the action hits such dizzying new heights (particularly in the opera house scene and cliffside motorcycle chase) with Christopher McQuarrie at the helm that it doesn't matter all that much. 

Grade: B 

3.Mission-Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011)

Like quite a few people out there, Ghost Protocol was the first time I ever came away from a Mission-Impossible movie really impressed. The setpieces here are consistently pulse-pounding and exhilarating and leaning into the inherent silliness of its "ragtag spies that don't play by the rules trying to stop WWIII from breaking out" plot upped the entertainment value considerably. By the way, somebody in Hollywood needs to let Brad Bird make another live action movie ASAP! The price he's paid for the failure of Tomorrowland is more than steep enough at this point!  

Grade: B+

2.Mission-Impossible: Dead Reckoning (2023): 

Despite being the longest entry in the series that's currently out in the world at a whopping 163 minutes, Dead Reckoning may be the single most propulsive entry in the franchise as it stacks up hyperkinetic setpiece upon hyperkinetic setpiece (shootout in the Arbian Desert, car chase through Rome, foot chase through the Abu Dhabi airport) every step of the way. If not for the shockingly CGI-heavy albeit still solid finale aboard the Orient Express, it would've made a strong challenge for the top spot.     

Grade: B+ 

1.Mission-Impossible: Fallout (2018):

Fallout may be a boring answer for #1 as it often finds itself in this spot when somebody drops a Mission: Impossible ranking, but there was just no way in hell that I was going to put any other entry here. Cruise and McQuarrie went completely ballistic here as they delivered one of the most consistently exhilarating, well-crafted action movies that we've seen in the last 20-25 years. Even the mere mention of the HALO Jump, bathroom fight or Paris motorcycle chase are enough to take me back to the absolute glee I felt seeing these scenes on the big screen for the first time nearly 7 years ago.    

Grade: A-

2025 NFL Position Rankings: Top 50 Wide Receivers

 ()=Previous Ranking

+=Unranked or ineligible in 2024

50.(38) Tank Dell (Texans)

49.(29) Tyler Lockett (Titans)

48.(30) Christian Kirk (Texans)

47.(+) Alec Pierce (Colts)

46.(35) Rashee Rice (Chiefs)

45.(39) Adam Thielen (Panthers)

44.(45) Jayden Reed (Packers)

43.(+) Darnell Mooney (Falcons)

42.(48) Josh Downs (Colts)

41.(46) Jordan Addison (Vikings)

40.(+) Marvin Harrison Jr. (Cardinals)

39.(23) Deebo Samuel (Commanders)

38.(33) Calvin Ridley (Titans)

37.(+) Jauan Jennings (49ers)

36.(21) DeAndre Hopkins (Ravens)

35.(+) Jameson Williams (Lions)

34.(49) Khalil Shakir (Bills)

33.(43) Jerry Jeudy (Browns)

32.(+) Ladd McConkey (Chargers)

31.(40) Jakobi Meyers (Raiders)

30.(17) Michael Pittman Jr. (Colts)

29.(28) George Pickens (Cowboys)

28.(34) Courtland Sutton (Broncos)

27.(14) Stefon Diggs (Patriots)

26.(16) Cooper Kupp (Seahawks)

25.(22) Chris Godwin (Buccaneers)

24.(8) Brandon Aiyuk (49ers)

23.(15) Chris Olave (Saints)

22.(+) Jaxson Smith-Njigba (Seahawks)

21.(9) Jaylen Waddle (Dolphins)

20.(25) DeVonta Smith (Eagles)

19.(37) Zay Flowers (Ravens)

18.(+) Brian Thomas Jr. (Jaguars)

17.(7) Davante Adams (Rams)

16.(20) D.K. Metcalf (Steelers)

15.(10) D.J. Moore (Bears)

14.(+) Malik Nabers (Giants)

13.(18) Garrett Wilson (Jets)

12.(26) Tee Higgins (Bengals)

11.(12) Mike Evans (Buccaneers)

10.(27) Terry McLaurin (Commanders)

9.(19) Nico Collins (Texans)

8.(31) Drake London (Falcons)

7.(2) Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

6.(11) Puka Nacua (Rams)

5.(4) A.J. Brown (Eagles)

4.(6) Amon-Ra St. Brown (Lions)

3.(3) CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys)

2.(5) Ja'Marr Chase (Bengals)

1.(1) Justin Jefferson (Vikings)

Final Destination Ranked

On this week's special edition of "Ranked", I'm ranking the Final Destination franchise from worst to best ahead of the release of "Final Destination: Bloodlines" in theaters tomorrow.  

5.The Final Destination (2009):

While I do agree with the consensus that The Final Destination is the weakest entry in the series by a wide margin, I also think it gets far more shit than it deserves. There's a certain charm to how heavily it commits to the cheap, schlocky 3D bit (this was the first entry of the series to be released in 3D) and a few of the deaths are among the most absurd/sadistic (flying tire decapitation, a rock launched by a lawnmower from a cartoonishly long distance away going through somebody's eye as they walk out of a salon, a pool drain sucking someone's intestines out through their butthole) of the entire franchise.  

Grade: C+

4.Final Destination (2000):

It needs to be noted that the next three entries on this list are basically interchangeable. What landed the original film at the bottom of this closely contested hierarchy is very simple: the deaths just aren't as memorable as the pair of sequels that beat it out. Other than the comparatively tamer/less creative accident sequences, there's a lot of fun to be had watching this franchise birth its clever "Death comes to collect the souls that evaded its grasp" concept and an all-star lineup of familiar faces from late 90's/early 2000's pop culture (Devon Sawa, Kerr Smith, Seann William Scott, Ali Larter) get picked off one by one.   

Grade: B

3.Final Destination 5 (2011):

5 is definitely the most underrated entry of the series in my book. The introduction of the "kill somebody and get their remaining life" rule in the second half of the film is a gloriously demented wrinkle that brings the dark comedy elements that have always been a part of this series' DNA closer to the forefront, the characters that get the chance to stick around for long enough to get some backstory are actually pretty well-defined by franchise standards and the twist ending leads to an all-timer of a death/end credits transition that very well could be the hardest I've ever laughed at a Final Destination movie. Bonus points for also backing up my longstanding fears of LASIK eye surgery and gymnastics routines going horribly wrong.  

Grade: B

2.Final Destination 2 (2003):

How there was a time in my life not too long ago that I thought this was the weakest entry outside of The Final Destination is a real head-scratcher. The efforts to up the absurdity pay dividends here as the accident sequences are way more unpredictable/entertaining than they were in the first one, the opening disaster scene with the logging truck is the chaotic, grisly peak of the entire franchise that will almost certainly never be topped and save for the aforementioned classic walk-off of Final Destination 5, it features the most insane/hilarious ending of the bunch.   

Grade: B

1.Final Destination 3 (2006):

Original director James Wong returned to the fold hungry to up the stakes and lean into the more ridiculous tone that David R. Ellis established with Final Destination 2. He didn't just succeed in his mission; he crushed it to the point where he made the best damn entry in the series that he helped create. Wong creates an ever-present feeling of impending doom that provides the film with a playfully sinister atmosphere that adds a nice layer of dread to the otherwise goofy proceedings, Mary Elizabeth Winstead's Wendy is easily the most dramatically compelling protagonist the series has ever had and the pseudo-detective angle to the plot is a fun, unique way to approach these characters scrambling to find a way to cancel the plans Death has for them.  

Grade: B+