2021 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Guards

()=2020 ranking

+=Unranked or not eligible in 2020

30.(+) Ereck Flowers (Football Team)

29.(+) A.J. Cann (Jaguars)

28.(+) Alex Cappa (Buccaneers) 

27.(27) Greg Van Roten (Jets)

26.(26) Laurent DuVernay-Tardif (Chiefs)

25.(+) Connor Williams (Cowboys)

24.(+) Austin Corbett (Rams)

23.(20) James Daniels (Bears)

22.(11) Richie Incognito (Raiders)

21.(12) Issac Seumalo (Eagles)

20.(+) Laken Tomlinson (49ers)

19.(21) Mark Glowinski (Colts)

18.(16) Gabe Jackson (Seahawks)

17.(19) Elgton Jenkins (Packers)

16.(17) Graham Glasgow (Broncos)

15.(+) Chris Lindstorm (Falcons)

14.(+) Michael Owenu (Patriots)

13.(15) Andrew Norwell (Jaguars)

12.(3) Brandon Brooks (Eagles)

11.(6) Kevin Zeitler (Ravens)

10.(5) David DeCastro (Steelers)

9.(12) Rodger Saffold (Titans)

8.(+) Wyatt Teller (Browns)

7.(7) Shaq Mason (Patriots)

6.(9) Brandon Scherff (Football Team)

5.(10) Ali Marpet (Buccaneers)

4.(4) Joe Thuney (Chiefs)

3.(9) Joel Bitonio (Browns)

2.(1) Zack Martin (Cowboys)

1.(2) Quenton Nelson (Colts)

Julianne Moore Ranked

Welcome to the latest edition of "Ranked", where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out various accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Julianne Moore-whose latest project "Spirit Untamed" hits theaters on June 4th.

Julianne Moore's Filmography Ranked:

21.Next (D)

20.Freedomland (D+)

19.Gloria Bell (D+)

18.The Kids Are All Right (D+)

17.Maps to the Stars (C-)

16.Don Jon (C+)

15.The Lost World: Jurassic Park (C+)

14.Boogie Nights (B-)

13.Far from Heaven (B-)

12.Still Alice (B-)

11.The Ladies Man (B)

10.The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part 2 (B)

9.The Woman in the Window (B)

8.Evolution (B)

7.Eagle Eye (B)

6.The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part 1 (B)

5.Children of Men (B)

4.Crazy, Stupid, Love (B+)

3.Non-Stop (B+)

2.Kingsman: The Golden Circle (B+)

1.The Big Lebowski (B+)

Top Dog: The Big Lebowski (1998)

While I'm not fully onboard The Big Lebowski hype train, it is certainly a great film that's worthy of admiration. With its dry wit, rampant absurdity and deep roster of eccentric characters, The Big Lebowski represents the Coen Brothers at their smartest and funniest.    

Lowlight: Next (2007)

Leave it to legendary hack Lee Tamahori to turn a film where Nicolas Cage plays a sleazy Las Vegas magician with the ability to see a few minutes into the future who's recruited by the US government to stop some Russian terrorists from dropping a nuclear bomb on Los Angeles into something exceptionally boring. So how did Tamahori and co. manage to screw up this golden premise? Very simple: Instead of mining its incredible B-movie potential, the overwhelming focus is put on a shitty cornball love story between Cage's character and some mysterious woman (Jessica Biel in a career worst performance) that he believes holds the key to thwarting the nuke plot. Based on the horrible creative instincts he displayed here, it's no wonder that Tamahori's workload started to shrink considerably after Next (he's only directed 2 movies since-the last of which was a small indie called Mahana that was released in his native New Zealand back in 2016) 

Most Underrated: Non-Stop (2014)

Liam Nesson's late career transformation into a grizzled B-movie star has been an interesting, lengthy experiment that has produced a wide variety of results. This plane-set whodunit thriller from frequent collaborator Jaume Collet-Serra(Unknown, The Commuter) easily ranks near the top of these efforts. Collet-Serra makes excellent use of the setting's confined space to tell a story that keeps the tension and intrigue at a consistently high level before dropping a suitably ridiculous killer reveal that gives way to a near perfect over-the-top action climax.     

Most Overrated: Boogie Nights (1997)

Paul Thomas Anderson's breakout film Boogie Nights stands out among the array of vastly overrated creations he's birthed on the basis of being the most puzzling misstep he's made to date. In what is an ass backwards sort of way a remarkable accomplishment, he was able to make a movie about the crime, sleaze and drug-driven early days of the porn industry boring. Scandal, intrigue and frantic energy are practically baked into that subject matter yet Anderson approaches the material with zero urgency or emotion, leaving the Oscar-worthy efforts of his incredible ensemble cast (Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Moore, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Don Cheadle, Alfred Molina) as the only sources of life that keep this bloated DOA ship from completely going under.

Top Sequel That's Almost as Good as the Original: Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is about a half step weaker than the cult favorite 2015 original, which qualifies it as a very successful sequel in my mind. Moore makes for a better cartoony villain than Samuel L. Jackson did in the first film, the new actors (Pedro Pascal, Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Channing Tatum) are all quality additions that fit in well with the established cast and most importantly, the over-the-top stylized action/goofy humor balance remains in tact. If Matthew Vaughn is able to find similar success with the long delayed early 1900's-set agency origin story The King's Man, Kingsman will go down as a mighty impressive trilogy.           

2021 NFL Position Rankings: Top 30 Tackles

()=2020 ranking

+=Unranked or not eligible in 2020

30.(+) Brian O'Neill (Vikings)

29.(+) Mekhi Becton (Jets)

28.(4) Mitchell Schwartz (Free Agent)

27.(26) Charles Leno (Football Team)

26.(13) Alejandro Villanueva (Ravens)

25.(+) Isaiah Wynn (Patriots)

24.(+) Daryl Williams (Bills)

23.(+) Rob Havenstein (Rams)

22.(16) Taylor Lewan (Titans)

21.(7) Tyron Smith (Cowboys)

20.(+) Mike McGlinchey (49ers)

19.(+) D.J. Humphries (Cardinals)

18.(22) Taylor Decker (Lions)

17.(11) Andrew Whitworth (Rams)

16.(25) Dion Dawkins (Bills)

15.(+) Tristian Wirfs (Buccaneers)

14.(20) Braden Smith (Colts)

13.(+) Orlando Brown Jr. (Chiefs)

12.(21) Taylor Moton (Panthers)

11.(2) Lane Johnson (Eagles)

10.(14) Duane Brown (Seahawks)

9.(19) Laremy Tunsil (Texans)

8.(9) Jake Matthews (Falcons)

7.(6) Ronnie Stanley (Ravens)

6.(23) Garrett Bolles (Broncos)

5.(12) Jack Conklin (Browns)

4.(5) Terron Armstead (Saints)

3.(17) Trent Williams (49ers)

2.(3) Ryan Ramcyzk (Saints)

1.(1) David Bakhtiari (Packers)

Movie Review: Army of the Dead

Being at the forefront of DC's connected universe experiment really restricted what Zack Snyder was able to do creatively for the better part of a decade. Once the Justice League debacle happened, the relationship between Snyder and Warner Brothers deteriorated to the point where all of his future projects in that world were shelved and the cult favorite filmmaker was free to embark on another endeavor for the first time since 2011. So what did Snyder do with his newfound flexibility? What any ambitious director who has routinely clashed with overbearing studio executives would do: Take advantage of Netflix's deep pockets and reputation as the greatest champion of giving artists total creative control in the industry right now to make a passion project that nobody else would let him make. That project ended up being Army of the Dead, a zombie heist movie that Snyder has had on the back burner since 2007, and after the relentlessly dour nature of his superhero trilogy, this big, dumb adrenaline rush makes for a pretty ideal pallet cleanser.

Army of the Dead is akin to watching a kid react to getting out of school for the summer. After being cooped up with a bunch of sticklers asking him to play by their rules for such a long time, Snyder is (rightfully) feeling liberated and ready to have some fun now that he's the one setting the agenda. Given that the freewheeling, wide-eyed version of Snyder has been buried since Sucker Punch, it's a more than welcome sight to see it resurface.

As messy as some key elements of the story and undead mythology can be-particularly in the last 25 minutes when some puzzling, easily avoidable writing missteps get in the way of an otherwise appropriately explosive finale to a story about a horde of zombies greatly complicating the theft of $200 million from the vault of a long-vacated Las Vegas casino-there's a giddy, frantic energy behind this project that is reminiscent of Snyder's best work (Dawn of the Dead, 300). Through the confident direction and abundance of nice little touches including the refreshing dose of humor to the proceedings, everything from the centerpiece safecracking/zombie showdown setpieces down to the obligatory "assemble the team" chunk of the story that eats up much of the first hour is approached with such a natural ease that it allows the movie to fly by. Having a project be so effortlessly engrossing and electrically paced is a great turnaround for Snyder-whose DCU efforts struggled mightily on that front- that will hopefully become a staple of his work moving forward.     

Of course, the area where Snyder's enthusiasm shines through the most is the birth and realization of the zombies. True to his excess-ridden style, he used the opportunity to write his own lore to create a universe where the slow, weak zombies have all perished and the remaining undead are an evolved species that have heightened speed/strength and can communicate in a sophisticated fashion that rivals or even exceeds what humans are capable of. In some ways, he goes completely overboard by alluding to variants in the undead DNA that are never explained or just plain stupid, but the general design and traits of these zombies are so cool that the more absurd elements of their being are easy enough to forgive. 

When it comes to the actual zombie action, Army of the Dead does it big and right. Characters both human and zombie meet gruesome demises that leave an impact, the arsenal of weapons used is just preposterous and there's a couple of sequences that display downright masterful levels of tension and panache. Staging gory, extravagant dismemberments of and by the undead is partly how the cult status surrounding Snyder came to be and 16 years after he burst onto the scene with Dawn of the Dead, that deft touch remains completely in tact.

While Army of the Dead is unquestionably held back a bit by Snyder's glaring deficiencies as a writer (unfocused storytelling and coming up with truly memorable characters), it's still easily his most rewarding project since 300. Getting a chance to make a completely original project where his vision was completely unimpeded is a needed reminder as to why he's one of the best architects of pure spectacle working in Hollywood today. This is likely just the start of the creatively unchained Snyder-era at Netflix and it's exciting to think about what kind of exhilarating nonsense he's going to come up with next now that he's found the ideal partner to fund his wildest ideas.          

Grade: B+

2021 NFL Position Rankings: Top 20 Tight Ends

()=2020 ranking

+=Unranked or not eligible 

20.(12) Kyle Rudolph (Giants)

19.(17) Jack Doyle (Colts)

18.(+) Logan Thomas (Football Team)

17.(+) Robert Tonyan (Packers)

16.(3) Zach Ertz (Eagles)

15.(11) Evan Engram (Giants)

14.(9) Tyler Higbee (Rams)

13.(+) Noah Fant (Broncos)

12.(5) Austin Hooper (Browns)

11.(+) Mike Gesicki (Dolphins)

10.(18) Jonnu Smith (Patriots)

9.(+) Rob Gronkowski (Buccaneers)

8.(7) Jared Cook (Chargers)

7.(10) Dallas Goedert (Eagles)

6.(8) Hunter Henry (Patriots)

5.(+) T.J. Hockenson (Lions)

4.(4) Mark Andrews (Ravens)

3.(6) Darren Waller (Raiders)

2.(1) George Kittle (49ers)

1.(2) Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

Zack Snyder Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked"-where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out various accolades. This week, I'm profiling the work of Zack Snyder-whose latest project "Army of the Dead' is in select theaters now and premieres on Netflix tomorrow.

Zack Snyder's Filmography Ranked:

(Note: Since it's now painfully obvious that Joss Whedon was responsible for it, the theatrical cut of Justice League has been excluded from inclusion here.)

8.Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (D)

7.Man of Steel (D)

6.Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-)

5.Watchmen (B)

4.Zack Snyder's Justice League (B)

3.Sucker Punch (B+)

2.Dawn of the Dead (A)

1.300 (A)

Top Dog: 300 (2007)

Seeing 300 in IMAX remains one of the greatest moviegoing experiences I've ever had. The visuals, stylized action and big, melodramatic pre-battle hype speeches from Gerard Butler's King Leonidas  packed such an insane punch in that maximalist setting that I'm getting chills just thinking about it. While each subsequent viewing at home hasn't been quite as special, it's still an incredible meathead action epic that has made a huge impact on the genre landscape since its release.  

Lowlight: Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010)

Snyder's unwavering ambition is one of his best qualities as a filmmaker, but his desire to push boundaries and try new things doesn't always yield favorable results. His biggest failure to date in this area came with his pretty much completely unwatchable animated film Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole. By trying to pack its absurdly convoluted mythology into 90 minutes and sticking to a relentlessly bleak tone that drops a string of misery bombs on its presumably young audience with barely any levity, the whole thing ends up coming across as a dreary and dull miscalculation from a director that is completely out of their comfort zone.

Most Underrated: Sucker Punch (2011)

Sucker Punch is often the top target for Snyder's detractors and to be completely honest, it's not hard to understand to why. A combination of some clunky writing and *surprise surprise* studio interference from Warner Brothers makes the messaging behind its dream-driven storyline damn near impossible to fully decipher and there's an even higher volume of his signature slow motion-driven action sequences than there was in 300. However, Sucker Punch also happens to be arguably the purest showcase of Snyder's strengths as well. His ability to build this breathtaking, wonderous fantasy world from scratch and stage consistently clever, massive fight scenes provides enough exhilarating visceral entertainment to make up for the narrative/thematic shortcomings. 

Most Overrated: Watchmen (2009)

If Watchmen was limited to scenes featuring Rorschach, The Comedian and Silk Spectre, it would be a near-perfect gritty superhero/vigilante film. Unfortunately, there's a slew of other characters that range from boring (Doctor Manhattan, Nite Owl II) to distractingly annoying (Silk Spectre II, Ozymandes) that routinely overshadow the film's many genuinely stunning moments.   

Most Admirable Piece of Indulgence: Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

The reality of the almost mystical Snyder cut of Justice League is that it's an exhaustively detailed and comically indulgent superhero movie that is made exclusively for the most diehard DC comic fans on the planet. Underneath all of its wall-to-wall fan service, Zack Snyder's Justice League is a fascinating love note to this universe that has such a sweeping scope and strong desire to flesh out its characters that it miraculously manages to justify its physically and psychologically draining 4 hour runtime.

Worst Superhero Effort: Man of Steel (2013)

With the inept three headed snake of woeful pacing, headache-inducing action scenes and embarrassing acting (particularly from Michael Shannon and Henry Cavill) driving the bus, Man of Steel is a completely worthless superhero movies that is tortuous to sit through.

Movie Review: The Woman in the Window

Being a "serious" actor, writer or director can be quite the albatross in the realm of entertainment. Once your name becomes associated with widespread acclaim, high profile awards, etc., people begin to expect excellence out of you every single time you make or appear in something and the pressure that comes from being perceived as someone who has to deliver the goods with a 100% efficiency rate seems like it would drain some of the fun out of the process. The Woman in the Window is what happens when a bunch of these people choose to let their hair down and have some fun for a bit before they return to their normal roles as esteemed creatives.

As strange as it is to see people like period piece savant Joe Wright (Darkest Hour, Atonement), dual threat Broadway icon Tracy Letts and 8 zillion time Oscar nominee Amy Adams be the driving forces  behind a project that is primarily designed to be a sleazy mindfuck, it's pretty cool to see this much fawned-over talent being placed in a space they don't usually occupy. That's not to say that The Woman in Window has no room for flourishes of traditional cinematic proficiency-Adams is terrific as the titular anxiety-ridden, substance-abusing agoraphobic woman who is desperately trying to convince people that she saw her neighbor (Julianne Moore) get murdered and the eerie cinematography from Bruno Delbonnel (Inside Llewyn Davis, Across the Universe) does an exceptional job of establishing a sense of paranoia-induced claustrophobia that brings a haunting tangibility to the fears of Adams' character. It just happens to be the type of movie where getting the audience to constantly question what's real and what's not and cooking up big, implausible plot twists that answer the burning questions driving the central mystery take precedent over pure artistic craftsmanship.

The opportunity to play around in such an undemanding sandbox is something that the key players here seem to have really relished. Through their perfectly synchronized efforts, they've created a trashy world where everybody's got sinister secrets, picture-esque pieces of property and not even an ounce of respect for each other's privacy. Considering that this could've easily turned into a deeper exploration of mental illness and the trauma that can cause it, it's great to see them fulfill their desire to create something that is strictly dedicated to being the type of engrossing diversion that is best consumed with no regard for the trappings of the real world and/or a bottomless supply of the viewer's illicit substance of choice on a lazy weekend afternoon or Friday night. Nobody wants Adams, Letts, Wright or any of the other amazing actors (Moore, Gary Oldman, Anthony Mackie, Wyatt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Brian Tyree Henry) that pop into play bit parts of varying importance here to step away from their more prestigious endeavors for long, but low stakes entertainment like The Woman in the Window is certainly a good look for all of them that they should continue to indulge in from time to time.       

Grade: B